Speaker 1: Novel.
Speaker 2: This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing.
Speaker 3: You have been warned.
Speaker 2: And then I didn't finish my girls a champagne because
Speaker 2: I needed to fucking far in front of him.
Speaker 3: I did do that in front of him.
Speaker 1: What around me?
Speaker 3: I'm a savage? Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 2: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
Speaker 2: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
Speaker 2: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
Speaker 2: time to change the narrative on how we find love.
Speaker 2: It's time to start looking for love in all the
Speaker 2: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
Speaker 2: picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
Speaker 2: And I've took twenty eight of these dates in two months.
Speaker 3: Will I find that special someone or well?
Speaker 2: This experiment proved that I should just give up on
Speaker 2: dating altogether.
Speaker 3: It's time to find out.
Speaker 2: I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 3: Hey Dan, how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good? Thank you, baby, I'm good all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm swaying constantly me as well.
Speaker 3: But I'm training human.
Speaker 1: Sipp and slide, let me down and ride me out.
Speaker 2: So this week I went on a date with a
Speaker 2: sober person, which is not my usual date because I
Speaker 2: like to drink when i'm dating. Yeah, exactly, I'm blackout
Speaker 2: before I even get there. I don't remember anything about them.
Speaker 2: Usually not my asual type. But he was hot, and
Speaker 2: he was hot, and he had a good voice.
Speaker 3: Someone need to hear his voice. His voice was fucking fit.
Speaker 1: Okay, and SIPs trousers, get dick out.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hey you didn't where's that's from New York? You're America?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh you sound like Danish.
Speaker 1: Really I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm half German and half Italian, so.
Speaker 1: Forty three.
Speaker 2: Okay, fine, Yeah you're older than than Thanks for having
Speaker 2: fifteen years. Yeah, that's a bit I do.
Speaker 3: It's just like a bit I like to do. I
Speaker 3: just shame people for being old. That's just one of
Speaker 3: my things.
Speaker 1: Okay, the deadest flitg I've ever heard of my life.
Speaker 1: Oh you sound Danish.
Speaker 3: He did sound Danish. Bro I mean he looked Danish.
Speaker 1: He just looked maybe Danish. I give you that.
Speaker 3: After a while I realized he was American.
Speaker 1: His voice sounds gorgeous.
Speaker 3: He was cute.
Speaker 1: It's giving like it's giving porn. I feel like it's giving.
Speaker 3: Giving porn, it's giving Lumberjack.
Speaker 1: I remember one time reading this like erotic fiction online
Speaker 1: about like these like Broadway Broadway performers who I didn't
Speaker 1: even know, and it was like so long, but baby
Speaker 1: Dick was raw wow, so much masturbation.
Speaker 3: I got centertic fiction.
Speaker 1: Have you ever read it?
Speaker 2: Because I used to read like Twilight stuff online.
Speaker 1: Did it like get you off?
Speaker 3: No? I was just interested, but no.
Speaker 1: It was really hot though.
Speaker 3: No, No, I get that. I've just never.
Speaker 2: Really like wanks like reading. I hate reading. I don't
Speaker 2: know how to read. So I get the I get
Speaker 2: the opposite of a hard one, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Trying to do it.
Speaker 1: You get brain freeze. Are you sober to sober for
Speaker 1: three years? Yeah? Like three years three months now. And
Speaker 1: in the first year, like I just.
Speaker 5: Focused on myself, worked at myself, and then then I.
Speaker 3: Was able to Were you doing therapy?
Speaker 1: I was recovery stuff, right yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you do the recovery work.
Speaker 3: You're still doing like, are you like?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I still do two meetings a week or so,
Speaker 4: and so yeah, I still am involved with dad just
Speaker 4: to keep it fresh.
Speaker 3: So have you ever dated someone who is sober.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have. It was actually quite cute, like the
Speaker 1: person was so beautiful and like really soft and gentle.
Speaker 1: And I didn't drink either, so it meant that you
Speaker 1: kind of had to like be in the moment more
Speaker 1: like you couldn't You couldn't rely on alcohol.
Speaker 3: There's no distraction, but this is it.
Speaker 1: You can't blind alcohol to make you more of a
Speaker 1: conversational list like, you just have to kind of like
Speaker 1: listen and be in that moment. But it was hard though,
Speaker 1: because the place that we were at was also a
Speaker 1: poor and the room next door there was like a
Speaker 1: live band playing, so it was so loud and with
Speaker 1: my ADHD like I just hear all the other noises,
Speaker 1: so I couldn't quite hear them. But they were really
Speaker 1: cute and I enjoyed it, and I would do it
Speaker 1: again because like I want to be able to be
Speaker 1: I want to be able to expectience moments more in
Speaker 1: the present. Which okay, now when my God. Welcome to
Speaker 1: your Mindfulness Meditation with dan Wyn Grace Campbell.
Speaker 3: This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh No but also to.
Speaker 1: Do it okay with my Forest Meditation, I look as
Speaker 1: come in no it's not that. It's like, if you
Speaker 1: haven't done it for a few days, why you being
Speaker 1: passive aggressive? Is there like, oh it's been a few days, Dan,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming back.
Speaker 3: No Sleep Meditation.
Speaker 2: And then halfway through it was like this episode is
Speaker 2: sponsored no Hello.
Speaker 3: Fresh, and I was like, are you joking?
Speaker 2: I'm half asleep and I'm being advertised to baby?
Speaker 1: How am I supposed to find inner piece when you're
Speaker 1: trying to say that Nanita that Hello Fresh, Nanitza, have
Speaker 1: you had that yet?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Baby, it's a nonbred pizza. What's what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: On his profile, which also makes me a bit sad,
Speaker 2: it says get.
Speaker 1: He says forty three man straight.
Speaker 3: That is so sad, so sad, a loss of the community.
Speaker 2: He says, I'm sober, but I don't judge. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 2: I did read that wrong because I thought he said
Speaker 2: don't judge me, but I was obviously me projecting, but
Speaker 2: I don't judge. Also kind of rude because nobody was
Speaker 2: giving me the right to judge anyway.
Speaker 1: No, but I guess what he's saying is there's that
Speaker 1: there's a stigma about people who are sober that people are.
Speaker 2: Around Yeah, but the thing is like, because I did
Speaker 2: actually have a few drinks on this day, I was
Speaker 2: drinking champagne.
Speaker 3: Actually that's why I was drinking. Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Pause for applause. So I was drinking champagne and was
Speaker 3: maybe a bit.
Speaker 2: Tipsy, but was then really conscious of like being tipsy.
Speaker 2: So I was like watching myself through the lens of him,
Speaker 2: which I think makes me obviously very self conscious.
Speaker 3: It's like it's like when my mum.
Speaker 2: Sees me drunk, I fucking trip out because she's never
Speaker 2: been drunk before and she doesn't even care. But I'm
Speaker 2: like constantly everything I'm saying, I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: she thinks I'm a retrobate.
Speaker 1: What do you think it makes you drunk?
Speaker 2: I think it makes me really aware of everything I'm
Speaker 2: saying and how I'm sounding, and I think it makes
Speaker 2: me more or less drunk.
Speaker 3: It just makes me like anxious in my head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like it's a bit like you know, like
Speaker 1: if you like smoke weed and then like you bump
Speaker 1: into someone and you're a bit high. In my head,
Speaker 1: it's like they bumped into me and I've got a
Speaker 1: clown nose on.
Speaker 2: I need to message them and they're like, oh, I
Speaker 2: had no idea, Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: As you were eating a whole bag of Cheeto. It's
Speaker 1: on the street.
Speaker 5: So when when I first got sober, and then I
Speaker 5: broke up with the girl that I was seeing because
Speaker 5: it wasn't a good relationship to start with, and then
Speaker 5: I took a year off to to look at my
Speaker 5: stuff and then and part.
Speaker 3: Of that is looking at all that they say as well,
Speaker 3: you shouldn't date like.
Speaker 1: Perfect sense, yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And because you're looking at relationships that you've had
Speaker 5: and you just end up doing the same thing if
Speaker 5: and it's distracting.
Speaker 1: I guess one of the negatives as well is that
Speaker 1: like you don't want someone to remember all the thing
Speaker 1: from that night if you were drunk, So I mean
Speaker 1: like if I'm drunk, I want you to be drunk
Speaker 1: so that we're both forgetting what's happened. Like I don't
Speaker 1: need you having like a script of all the things
Speaker 1: I said whilst pissed.
Speaker 2: I also think it's like an energy thing of like,
Speaker 2: and this is you know, something I would struggle with.
Speaker 2: I think being sober and dating is there's a moment
Speaker 2: where a date goes from like a bit flirty to
Speaker 2: like a bit sexual, and I think sober that moment
Speaker 2: is takes a lot more to like want to do,
Speaker 2: and that's that's sometimes a good thing, because sometimes when
Speaker 2: you're sober, you're like, I actually don't want to get
Speaker 2: to this person, whereas I would just get with them.
Speaker 1: Maybe the amount of times that you wake up and
Speaker 1: you're like in bed with someone and you're like, actually,
Speaker 1: there was no chemistry. We were just.
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly exactly, so I think sometimes, but then I
Speaker 2: also feel like the best dates I've ever been.
Speaker 3: In my life have been like we've been a bit drunk.
Speaker 2: Sometimes things get a bit more unpredictable when you're drinking
Speaker 2: a bit, which is exciting, and I just feel like
Speaker 2: maybe you lose that a bit when you're sober.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like imagine like being in like like Less Square,
Speaker 1: like climbing one of the statues sober and then statue
Speaker 1: and like take a fat with me, but you're sober.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're both sober. He's not even watching you drunk
Speaker 2: climb on the Travagar Square, Lion.
Speaker 3: You're both sober.
Speaker 1: Given like a level like photography, you're on a.
Speaker 2: Sober dat ya and your date someone's busking on the
Speaker 2: tube and your date starts dancing with him.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, I would scream. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is the worst image I've ever ever had to
Speaker 1: like picture.
Speaker 2: My dad always goes up to buskers and like talks
Speaker 2: to them, and I'm like, Dad, they're trying to play music.
Speaker 1: What does he say?
Speaker 2: Oh, because he used to be a busker, so he
Speaker 2: thinks he's so part of the community.
Speaker 1: He's like, what gradio sounded? You sound grateful to me?
Speaker 3: He used to be.
Speaker 2: He used to be a busker in the south of
Speaker 2: France and he also used to write porn. My dad, wait,
Speaker 2: porn character called the Riviera Jiggilow. Yeah, he used to
Speaker 2: live in the French Riviera.
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm sorry, your dad's EDFPR. What do you want about?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we were talking about dating and like I guess,
Speaker 2: like our sex lives, and then we were talking about
Speaker 2: what kind of sex we're into, which is just kind
Speaker 2: of the chat that I somehow get onto.
Speaker 1: No, it's important you have to know that you're both
Speaker 1: viable intimately before you get intimate.
Speaker 3: I think, say intimate one more time.
Speaker 1: Intimately that is, so what if you're not fully erect
Speaker 1: listen to this. What's wrong with you? Oh? Why do
Speaker 1: you have to snort? Let them.
Speaker 3: Down?
Speaker 1: Put that plate of coke down, Grace, we're doing work.
Speaker 3: Have you been on days of people who are like
Speaker 3: really hardcore?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just now what I'm into.
Speaker 4: Like I wanted to be fun and late garden and
Speaker 4: so like pain or bdsm or ying Like I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, and kinks are fine, but I just
Speaker 4: don't want to I don't want it to be I
Speaker 4: don't like anything too intense, like where it's it's yeah,
Speaker 4: like we're pain and stuff is I don't know that's
Speaker 4: but yeah, but it's now support turned into like casual kink,
Speaker 4: a little bit of both, like ye, friends with benefits,
Speaker 4: like open relationships that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: What's your king, because mine's just like mine's just like
Speaker 2: kid kiddling, kissing and coddling.
Speaker 3: That's my gag.
Speaker 1: Did you just combine kissing and good link into kitdling?
Speaker 1: How creepy that king?
Speaker 2: But when he was talking, I was like, Oh, he's
Speaker 2: kind of like my lover because I also get like
Speaker 2: maybe not like kink shamed, but people think I'm going
Speaker 2: to be into way more kinky stuff than I actually am,
Speaker 2: and then I'm made to feel really boring because of it.
Speaker 2: So I was like, he's kind of speaking my language
Speaker 2: in the sense that I don't to be tied up.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be choked.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be slapped, like you know, I'm
Speaker 2: in fear of that happening to me every time I
Speaker 2: fucking go outside.
Speaker 1: But I feel like sometimes you have to be careful
Speaker 1: with that kind of guy, because that kind of guy
Speaker 1: I can have that kind of like that conversation with you,
Speaker 1: and then you go back to his and he's like,
Speaker 1: so I'm into pooh play.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not into heavy kinks. But can I
Speaker 1: shit on your chest?
Speaker 3: I don't think Leo, that's Leo?
Speaker 1: But sure, yeah, I mean fair what's my kink? I
Speaker 1: don't know, like I would like to explore more kink.
Speaker 1: I think I do like a nice little bit of
Speaker 1: like am switch, like a bit of like role play,
Speaker 1: like either I'm the dominant one or like I'm a
Speaker 1: piece of shit and you can tell me what to do.
Speaker 1: But the problem is is being like six foot five
Speaker 1: and being like no one ever, no one ever tells
Speaker 1: me what to do because I'm always putting the dominant
Speaker 1: role like just naturally, which I don't mind, but I
Speaker 1: would like to be a whole.
Speaker 4: I've gone out with a with a married woman who's
Speaker 4: married and then I won't have a coffee deal with her,
Speaker 4: and then we had then we went on like a
Speaker 4: dinner dad.
Speaker 1: And for the round and then and then.
Speaker 4: We went to a kink club called Twitter Garden. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And then her husband was there. But did she say,
Speaker 3: by the way my husband.
Speaker 4: Of course, it was her husband and their friend and
Speaker 4: the friends.
Speaker 2: So you went in a group with her and with
Speaker 2: her husband getting with her.
Speaker 3: He was cool, Well, you were getting with her.
Speaker 1: There's no sex that night, but.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone was aware what was going No, I know,
Speaker 4: I get that.
Speaker 2: Are you being in with her in front of her
Speaker 2: husband and then he was in front of you.
Speaker 3: That's quite chic.
Speaker 1: That was very modern, it was I mean, yeah, that
Speaker 1: is quite hot. I have actually watching a bit of
Speaker 1: cook porn recently.
Speaker 3: That's interesting. So I only love what what a cock
Speaker 3: is this week?
Speaker 1: So cook porn is basically where like your partner watches
Speaker 1: Fox someone else, But it kind of seems hot to
Speaker 1: me to be honest, compared to most of the dates
Speaker 1: that I've listened to, this guy sounds so cute and nice.
Speaker 1: Was it good? Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2: I did enjoy it. I did enjoy it, and we're
Speaker 2: having a nice time. And then what happened was I
Speaker 2: ate some food and as I beforementioned, I was feeling
Speaker 2: indigestion tive, and then it just fucking came to a
Speaker 2: head and I had like suddenly, like really bad stomach pains.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say out loud that I knew
Speaker 2: it was trapped wind, so I said I thought maybe
Speaker 2: it was like period pains or something like that, because
Speaker 2: that's a bit easier for men to just in that moment.
Speaker 3: But I knew it was trapped wind. And then so
Speaker 3: then I got on the floor.
Speaker 2: I got on the floor under the child's phone, no,
Speaker 2: because I needed to fucking fart well in front of him.
Speaker 3: I did do that in front of him. What. Oh well,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for this.
Speaker 2: I'm having absolutely awful stomach cramps. It's not that I'm
Speaker 2: not going to like far or anything. I think it's
Speaker 2: either my period or I'm dying.
Speaker 3: It's probably my period, yeah, or waste of a glass
Speaker 3: of champagne.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And then I didn't finish my glass of champagne. And
Speaker 3: then that is.
Speaker 1: Not the worst thing that's happening in this moment. You
Speaker 1: in Charles pose on the floor growning a far out whole.
Speaker 1: It's probably worse than the quarter filled glass of champagne.
Speaker 1: It's a fucking fresh glass of champagne. I don't even understand.
Speaker 2: The thing about trapped wind is that as soon as
Speaker 2: you far it goes away. So it's annoying because it
Speaker 2: could have carried on the day when it's going to
Speaker 2: a toilet, because I was in so much way. Have
Speaker 2: you never had you ever had trap wind so badly?
Speaker 3: I could? You can't really move?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I have.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, of course I have.
Speaker 1: I've got it right now. I'm on Charles pose on
Speaker 1: the floor in the studio. Pass me that glass of champeg,
Speaker 1: will you. But I love that this guy is like,
Speaker 1: this guy is like, yeah, I'm not really into like
Speaker 1: weird things, want like some like massive kink. And then
Speaker 1: you're just like Child's post yeah, and.
Speaker 2: They're like it's not it's not I'm not gonna fart,
Speaker 2: by the way, I'm.
Speaker 3: Not gonna fart. There's there's one thing I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: do right now.
Speaker 1: It's fart. But you know what, that's actually like quite
Speaker 1: a solid out of a date, because one of the
Speaker 1: issues that I have is I don't know how to
Speaker 1: leave a date.
Speaker 3: Definitely faked illness.
Speaker 2: But I would say the best one is saying, like
Speaker 2: a member of your family or friend has gone into labor.
Speaker 1: But that's a lot of acting, isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's actually really easy you say, oh my god, fuck,
Speaker 2: I've got to go.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Can we actually do it?
Speaker 3: Okay, I've done it loads of times.
Speaker 1: Wait to want another drink? Wait, let me be straight,
Speaker 1: do you want another drink?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm fuck, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'm oh my god.
Speaker 3: My best friend's gone into labor. I'm so sorry, I've
Speaker 3: got to go.
Speaker 1: I'm her, I'm a person, you're dol.
Speaker 3: I'm her doula. Yeah, pulling the baby out.
Speaker 1: I'm the father. So what I'm convinced.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done it a few times.
Speaker 1: That one. I have. One time I remember, oh god,
Speaker 1: like being on this day and going back to this
Speaker 1: person's house and having like really bad sex. But then afterwards,
Speaker 1: this person was like, I'm really glad that you're here
Speaker 1: and like expecting me to stay around. And it was
Speaker 1: like maybe half twelve at night. So I text my
Speaker 1: house mate whilst they're in the toilet, and I was there, like,
Speaker 1: can you just email me right now and pretend that
Speaker 1: a meeting has been pushed forward midnight? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I know it's in like tomorrow morning is way earlier.
Speaker 1: So then I have to leave because I don't want
Speaker 1: to stay in this person's bed. And then they did it,
Speaker 1: and I honestly gave the worst acting of my entire life,
Speaker 1: like we both knew, but like I just had to
Speaker 1: commit to the role.
Speaker 2: The thing is why, I think in those moments, you
Speaker 2: just want to believe that what the person is saying
Speaker 2: is true. So they probably would think I don't know
Speaker 2: this person.
Speaker 3: Probably that is true.
Speaker 1: I think in the moments, you just want to be
Speaker 1: able to be reassured enough in yourself to go no.
Speaker 3: This one wasn't actually that okay.
Speaker 2: I would have liked that to go on for longer,
Speaker 2: but I was in an excuchating pain.
Speaker 3: Then I fired, and then I.
Speaker 1: Was fine, would you see him again?
Speaker 2: So this is like one of the only ones I've
Speaker 2: actually wanted to see him again and he didn't want
Speaker 2: to see me again.
Speaker 1: I guess why, because you're in Charles post on the
Speaker 1: floor farting. So are you inte that sober guys, would
Speaker 1: you do it again?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I actually do think so.
Speaker 2: I do think so, And I'm thinking maybe in the
Speaker 2: future I'll be more open to like actually being like
Speaker 2: dating properly someone who's sober.
Speaker 1: And would you be more open to being more sober
Speaker 1: on dates yourself?
Speaker 2: I think so, because then that would have avoided maybe
Speaker 2: the trapped wind if I hadn't drunk so much.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is like that this is the moral,
Speaker 1: but the moral is so clear, it's almost like biblical.
Speaker 3: Hmmm, it's like the absolutely fabulous Bible.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a b c a d ab fab Yeah,
Speaker 6: because I still think at this point, like sometimes I'm
Speaker 6: still trying to chase oblivion, like I'm still want to
Speaker 6: get wanting to get.
Speaker 1: Like real fucked, Like I won't realize how many pints
Speaker 1: I've had because I can just drink.
Speaker 3: I think that's the one thing.
Speaker 2: When I think about being in a relationship with a
Speaker 2: sober person, I think, do I want to go on
Speaker 2: holiday with someone and we're not going to have like
Speaker 2: a fucking like wine Connoissan night out.
Speaker 3: Pool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then I guess I can still do that,
Speaker 2: so it's not that deep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And like what is more important, like like love
Speaker 1: and connection and trust with somebody or a long Island
Speaker 1: iced tea by the pool.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I can because do I trust anyone?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: But I do want to that I can trust. Yeah,
Speaker 3: next time.
Speaker 2: On twenty eight dates later, he had brought me a
Speaker 2: present and he brought me some vegan bacon.
Speaker 3: Is this the first presence you've got?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And can we by the way, can we normalize bringing
Speaker 2: gifts on a first day?
Speaker 3: I think it's really chaps see a welcome. I'm a savage,
Speaker 3: he can hurt it.
Speaker 2: Twenty eight dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
Speaker 2: is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Roz
Speaker 2: Persu and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggory Way. The
Speaker 2: executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
Speaker 2: and Max O'Brien. Production management from Scharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
Speaker 2: Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development
Speaker 1: Novel