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Speaker 1: All right, let's get this show started. Okay, I'd love

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Speaker 1: to here it is Scott. Are you ready for him?

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Speaker 2: Ooh, I'm ready to love and love and love. That

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Speaker 2: was sort of sweet. That was actually sort of beautiful.

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Speaker 1: All hail Biquette, the grindcore goat who loved punk rock.

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Speaker 2: Oh, all hail Baquet. Well, no kidding around. Let's get

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Speaker 2: into Banana's life. From Minneapolis Parkway Theater. Bananas, we don't

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Speaker 2: want to have a couple.

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Speaker 3: We don't have would you mind dosilia pieces?

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Speaker 2: Would you?

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Speaker 4: Guys, gals and non binary pals. Welcome to Banana.

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Speaker 2: Very good, very good.

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Speaker 1: From the beautiful Parkway Theater in Minneapolis.

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Speaker 2: That's where we are, Minnesota forthplace of breakdown.

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Speaker 4: I did forget the state. Okay you can't.

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Speaker 1: I just get Minnesota and Wisconsin. Confused Latin? I know

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't. Not me, not me, not not in culture

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Speaker 1: or feeling in words. Okay, that's all. Good hats there,

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Speaker 1: three good hats there. We have a lot of bananas

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Speaker 1: in the front. This is fantastic.

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Speaker 2: Why do we have a one bottle on stage? What? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because last night they stole all the servers, stole all

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Speaker 2: of our sharpies. So at the end of the night,

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Speaker 2: when you know, we signed headshots, and I went and

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, all of our sharpies are gone,

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Speaker 2: and the waitress goes, yeah, that happens around here. So

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Speaker 2: I got them back the number one steak sauce in

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Speaker 2: the world. So I liked it.

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Speaker 4: You just quickly passed over. We signed head shots.

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Speaker 2: Yeah we do. We found pens.

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Speaker 4: The dumbest head shots ever created.

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Speaker 2: Yes, sir, yes it is.

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Speaker 1: Oh Scottie, that's Kurt brown Oler, that's Scottie Lands.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for coming out to the silliest little podcast

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Speaker 2: there ever was. This is the perfect crowd I can see.

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Speaker 2: This is the most decorated or costumed. Yeah, we've ever seen.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I knew. I knew Minneapolis was gonna be great.

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Speaker 1: I knew that you were going to be great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be fantastic. Oh, Scotti, how is the drive?

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Speaker 2: Great? Drive this we you know, we talk all the time,

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Speaker 2: six hours, just two guys in a Chevy Traverse.

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Speaker 1: Chatting, just having fun maroons. So we blended right in

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Speaker 1: in the Midwest.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they like a burgundy car in the Midwest. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you don't see that much on the coast. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I did never notice that.

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Speaker 1: And then Scotty mentioned it at the top of the

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Speaker 1: drive and then we saw one billion red or burgundy car.

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Speaker 4: There's a Burgundy and I was like, wow, it's true.

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Speaker 2: It is true. We have the best time. It's so fun.

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Speaker 2: No other podcast drives, they all drive together. I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 2: Shall we get into a news story, kurty b I'm

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Speaker 2: ready to do it? Here we go.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all hell Biquette the grind corek goat who loved

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Speaker 1: punk rock and this is amazing story.

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Speaker 4: This was printed and printed.

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Speaker 2: This is printed. They printed it.

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Speaker 1: They put it on paper and printed out one copy and.

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Speaker 4: Threw it in the trash.

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Speaker 1: This was on Rock twenty two point nine. So you

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Speaker 1: know it's real. So you know it's real, the big

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Speaker 1: one and two. Make sure you really know it's real.

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Speaker 1: The author is.

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Speaker 4: Adam twelve twelve is the That's damn right, you guys

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Speaker 4: get it.

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Speaker 2: That's what we liked.

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Speaker 4: Here it is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you've seen this pick pop up on your social

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Speaker 1: media feats.

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Speaker 4: Is this the one I want? No? This is the

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Speaker 4: one I want?

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Speaker 1: The kid oh no, So this article is actually from

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Speaker 1: the Huffington Post, written by nobody wanted to claim this one. No,

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Speaker 1: that's we recently learned that if there's not a byline.

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Speaker 4: The author was like, that's okay, guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're good on this. This is going to ruin.

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Speaker 2: But the rest of it.

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Speaker 1: I was forced at gunpoint to write this because I

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Speaker 1: have to write three articles a fucking day. It happens

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Speaker 1: all the time, and I don't want to be associated

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Speaker 1: with piquette. The grindcore goat dies doing what she loves,

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Speaker 1: jamming out to metal. Okay, okay, I do me too.

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Speaker 1: The kid love punk music and tobacco. Great opening line,

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Speaker 1: does you.

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Speaker 4: Put your name?

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Speaker 2: Grow up?

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Speaker 1: She barely escaped the slaughterhouse at a young age, Oh

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Speaker 1: so she could stand in front of the audience at

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Speaker 1: wormrot shows. Biquet, the world famous grindcore goat, died last

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Speaker 1: month in France.

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Speaker 4: Oh she was just ten years old.

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Speaker 1: Beiquett quote burned the candle at both ends, living the

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Speaker 1: last of her life, last half of her life at

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Speaker 1: a communal farm in Moriac, France. She loved the attention

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Speaker 1: from punk rockers that would pass through, but her.

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Speaker 4: Real love was the stage.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sure, said one of her caretakers, Flow to Wece

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Speaker 1: when she.

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Speaker 4: Wasn't rooting around her barn for cigarette butts.

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Speaker 2: I mean they are great animals and half empty booze bottles.

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Speaker 4: She was partying with the band, yes, yes, town. Oh

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Speaker 4: my god, I.

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Speaker 1: Remember in college, like standing outside when I didn't have money. Well,

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Speaker 1: I would stand outside the library and then wait for

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Speaker 1: people to put out like half of a cigarette.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then.

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Speaker 4: Quickly run over and.

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Speaker 2: Be like.

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Speaker 4: I was disgusting. She lived the rock lifestyle, huh.

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Speaker 1: Flow acknowledged that it probably wasn't very good for her,

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Speaker 1: but she wouldn't leave the stage for anyone. Quote she

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Speaker 1: was most connected to grind, Flow told the site this week.

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Speaker 1: Seeing as the barn floor where we threw the concerts

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Speaker 1: as wooden, I think she felt the vibrations in her hoop.

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Speaker 2: That's a nice way to spin it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The majority of the time she even laid down next

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Speaker 1: to the speakers.

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Speaker 4: Was she also deaf?

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Speaker 1: I mean I would hear the music with my ears

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Speaker 1: before my who.

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Speaker 4: They got big ears. They got big ears, I've seen them.

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Speaker 4: Flow says.

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Speaker 1: The farm saved her from a slaughterhouse when she was

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Speaker 1: five years old, and she never parted from the stage

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Speaker 1: after that. Videos online show her kidding around next to

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Speaker 1: the stage so far as onlookers giggle and live metal

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Speaker 1: blasts in her face. Also, I've read five articles about

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Speaker 1: bquet Yeah, and I still can't figure out exactly what

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Speaker 1: type of music it was. Yes, they say metal, they

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Speaker 1: say grindcore, they say punk rock, and they think they're

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Speaker 1: all interchangeable, and I'm like.

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Speaker 4: But what was it?

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Speaker 2: Yes, say one name one. Also that person filming there,

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Speaker 2: You're totally cool to do it. You don't have to

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Speaker 2: play your you could take pics, you could do whatever

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Speaker 2: you want. This is a one and done. You're not

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Speaker 2: going to burn our material. So raise that phone back

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Speaker 2: up so I can see it. You pulled it down

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Speaker 2: so fast in the back you were like, oh fuck.

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Speaker 2: But also it's a thing like when I think we

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Speaker 2: talked about this on the pod ones, but like when

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Speaker 2: you fall asleep in like class it's an auditorium in

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Speaker 2: college like this, and you're like, there's no way the

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Speaker 2: professor can see me. They can see you every time,

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Speaker 2: every time, And when you think you're in your car

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Speaker 2: and you're doing the text and you're like, nobody can

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Speaker 2: see me. It's below the dashboard and it's below the

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Speaker 2: week every time we can see you speak your fault there.

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Speaker 2: Don't text no, don't take the drive.

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Speaker 1: Don't text it a show either, because it lights up

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Speaker 1: your face from below and you look like a real

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Speaker 1: piece of phone.

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Speaker 2: I'm just let you guys, so it's really cool.

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Speaker 1: Photos photos are okay, here we go, here we go.

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Speaker 1: And then I'll just end with this one sentence and

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Speaker 1: summed up pretty well by a man named Daniel Peterson

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Speaker 1: on Twitter. Biquett the Goat sold to an abatoir after

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Speaker 1: she stopped producing milk, but was rescued by punks and

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Speaker 1: then spent ten years watching grindcore bands. She could come

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Speaker 1: and go as she pleased, and, in the words of

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Speaker 1: her rescuers, quote escape Death Lived Punk.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely give it up for Peqette.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Cet the Goat, give it up for Paquette. Do

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Speaker 2: they say alcohol here they do? Oh yeah? Tip Huge

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Speaker 2: the bananimals famously Staff's always like really nice fans, so yeah,

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Speaker 2: keep it up if huge.

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Speaker 1: So I remember when I was a bit I was

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Speaker 1: I was into the punk rock when I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: Yes he was.

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Speaker 4: And what did your hair look like, Kurt oh Me?

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Speaker 1: I shaved my head and just left a coxcomb of

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Speaker 1: hair in the front that I would shape into two horns.

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Speaker 4: And just thought that was super cool and it was I.

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Speaker 1: Only wore the color green, and I mean, can you

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Speaker 1: imagine had combat boots and my belt was a old

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Speaker 1: telephone cord.

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Speaker 2: Which is to say Kurt and I met at the

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Speaker 2: exact right time in our lives. I had like kind

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Speaker 2: after that.

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Speaker 1: After that, yeah, yeah, I was walking around like that

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Speaker 1: selling acid. It was a great time of life Baltimore.

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Speaker 1: It was Baltimore, baby so and.

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Speaker 4: I was upsets with punk rock.

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Speaker 1: And then when I started doing comedy, it was like

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Speaker 1: this huge change, you know, where I was just like,

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Speaker 1: none of these people are fucking punk rock.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: And then I saw I remember seeing Sasha Baron Cohen

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Speaker 1: like back in the day before like Borat had even

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Speaker 1: come out one of the greats, when he was doing

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Speaker 1: his like UK show, and I saw like a video

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Speaker 1: VHS tape of the video.

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Speaker 4: Show and I was like, this is the closes early stuff, and.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is the closest thing I've ever

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Speaker 1: seen to punk rock in comedy, and I was obsessed.

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Speaker 4: I was like so so obsessed with him.

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Speaker 1: So first time I ever go to LA I must

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Speaker 1: be thirty thirty thirty.

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Speaker 4: One, made sure and I go to Loss.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't there, but I did know him.

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Speaker 1: I go to Los Angeles and I get a call

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Speaker 1: from my manager and he's like, I got an audition

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Speaker 1: for you. Cool and I was like great. And he's

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Speaker 1: like can you speak German? And I was like no,

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Speaker 1: and he's like okay, sorry and hangs up.

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Speaker 2: Can you speak German? I'll mean Kurt Brown all or German.

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Speaker 4: Name, German name.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look very I look like the it guy from

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Speaker 1: the Nazis. Let's be completely.

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Speaker 2: A gym teacher for the the gym teacher for the dodgeball.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, doing push ups.

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Speaker 2: We are anti Nazi this podcast.

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Speaker 1: We're anti Nazi Nazis, anti Nazi hands down.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, yeaholis might look like one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're tall right. No. We love juice, Yeah, love them,

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Speaker 2: love them, love them, love them too much.

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Speaker 4: Too much, but the other way, it's a fetish.

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Speaker 2: We were like big Cat and grindcores.

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Speaker 1: So then he calls back like five minutes later and

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Speaker 1: he says, can you do a German accent? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, like very badly, like based on like early

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Speaker 1: twenties like submarine movies, you know, like yes, Hello, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's the submarine took us now, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: So he's like, I got an audition for you, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sure, I'm perfect. So I go

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Speaker 1: in and it's this big time casting agent and uh

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Speaker 1: and I auditioned and it's mostly improv and so I'm

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Speaker 1: like improvising with her and whatnot. She's like, okay, good,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, so I understand you can speak German.

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Speaker 1: And I was like I can't. And she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: said I can. She's I said I can't. Oh I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: and she says are you sure?

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Speaker 4: Are you sure?

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Speaker 1: Because you're your manager said you could speak some German?

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, she's feeding me. Are

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Speaker 1: you sure you can't speak German? I was just like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can.

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Speaker 4: Speak it a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I can't.

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Speaker 4: I had no no German. Okay.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, okay, well how about we just do

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Speaker 1: we just talk a little bit in German? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, of course. And I was like

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Speaker 1: do you speak German. She's like no, no, but you

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Speaker 1: you know, you speak to me in Germany and I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, oh okay, oh god.

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Speaker 2: So the interviews are like, what's your biggest weakness and

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Speaker 2: they're like, I got this locked and loaded too punctual.

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Speaker 5: And so then I knew she didn't got true. I

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Speaker 5: knew she didn't speak English, I mean German, and so

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Speaker 5: then I just started making German up and like it

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Speaker 5: like it was.

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Speaker 4: Like vahanzen einsense fonten schneten some foughting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And she was like and I did that for

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Speaker 1: like a minute, and she was like that's fantastic.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, thank.

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Speaker 1: You, Donka Shane Donkushin done and uh.

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Speaker 4: And so then she's like, well, we want.

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Speaker 1: To bring you back tomorrow, oh god, for a producer session.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know what that means. It's a producer session, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's and she says, I can't tell you what it's for.

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Speaker 1: It's a movie. She's like, actually, if I'm bringing you

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Speaker 1: back for the producer session, I'll tell you it's for

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Speaker 1: the new Sasha.

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Speaker 4: Baron Cohen movie. Yeah, it's called Bruno and uh.

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Speaker 1: And so you being his assistant and so you'll be

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Speaker 1: in the room, you'll be auditioning with Sasha Baron Cohen.

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Speaker 4: And I was just like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And it was like the next day right and

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Speaker 1: uh and so I was like I was immediately start

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Speaker 1: having a panic attack. And and she's like, just do

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Speaker 1: me a favor. When you go into the room, just

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Speaker 1: tell them you're fluent. Just tell them you're fluent natural.

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Speaker 2: And I was like you got it, no, no, no no.

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Speaker 1: So I go home and I'm just like trying my

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Speaker 1: German accent out like huston spoten e and you know, like, oh, hello,

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Speaker 1: I like your pizza, you know.

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Speaker 4: And uh So the very next day I go answer.

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Speaker 1: It's in an old house on like the Paramount Lot

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Speaker 1: or something and uh and I'm waiting in like this

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Speaker 1: musty old hallway and uh and like it's just me

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Speaker 1: and then like a very petite Asian man uh, and

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Speaker 1: it was like are we auditioning for the same role?

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Speaker 2: God help?

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Speaker 1: And then whoever like comes out that they finish their audition,

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Speaker 1: and then they call him and he like jumps up

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Speaker 1: and like runs in. And then I sit in the

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Speaker 1: hallway and listen to what sounds like a room of

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Speaker 1: five hundred people going scream laughing for no shit thirty

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Speaker 1: full minutes.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: The laughter at no point died down, but there was

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Speaker 1: never a breather. People were scream laughing for thirty straight minutes.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Then this man just skips out and puts his tiny

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Speaker 1: backpack on and then skips down the hall and then

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Speaker 1: they're like Kurt, and I was like.

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Speaker 4: What is happening?

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Speaker 2: Also, I don't think that guy's in the movie. I

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Speaker 2: don't think the other guy got the movie.

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Speaker 4: No, that guy is in the movie.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, okay, but he didn't. He wasn't.

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Speaker 1: We're an auditioning for the same role. He was auditioned

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Speaker 1: like his personal trainer.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: If you guys remember the movie, remember that guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny.

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Speaker 4: They loved him.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: So so I walk into this room, yes, and it

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Speaker 1: is I am not kidding. So in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the room is a giant desk. Sasha Baron Cone is

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Speaker 1: standing there sitting behind the desk. Ause if it's a

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Speaker 1: weird job, interviewed intimidating guy. Intimidating guy has a hat

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Speaker 1: hat on, and then the every there's like maybe thirty

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Speaker 1: five seats in the room and they're all taken up

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Speaker 1: with people I'm not kidding, including for some reason, Jonah Hill.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, why the fuck is Jonah Hill here,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, is Joonah in my mind was

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Speaker 1: like Jonah Hills in all these rooms. He was just

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Speaker 1: like whenever you walk into a room in Hollywood, Jonah

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Speaker 1: Hill is also there.

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Speaker 4: And uh.

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Speaker 1: And I was such a newbie and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: came and I was so nervous and the and the

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Speaker 1: director was very kind. He's like, I sit down, and

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Speaker 1: he's like, thank you so much for coming to Sasha,

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00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 1: and I like waving them and Sasha's.

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Speaker 2: Like yes and yes, impressed.

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Speaker 4: He's yeah, you have to impress him. That's a cool

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Speaker 4: personality trait.

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Speaker 2: And uh, very friendly.

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Speaker 4: And and the director.

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00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,560
Speaker 1: The first thing, the director says, so we understand you're

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Speaker 1: fluent in German.

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Speaker 2: Oh shit.

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00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 1: And I just was like I sure am, y'all, y'all scoot,

340
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 1: And he's like, all right, great, well, we're just gonna

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00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 1: have you start off by speaking some German with Sasha.

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Speaker 4: And Sasha speaks German.

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Speaker 2: Of course he does. Of course he does. Of course

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Speaker 2: he does.

345
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Speaker 1: And at this point in my head, I'm like what

346
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,680
Speaker 1: else can I do? And so like Sasha, my comedy

347
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 1: icon looks at me and he's like, you hestin spat

348
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,720
Speaker 1: and he says something in German, and then I like

349
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Speaker 1: look him dead in the eye and I'm just like

350
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Speaker 1: it's fine and.

351
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 4: Seen food and nothing.

352
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,560
Speaker 1: Shoon and fatting but body eating, and then just gave

353
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,879
Speaker 1: everybody a ship eating grin around the room.

354
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:04,400
Speaker 2: Like fuck, pretty good. I bought it.

355
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 1: And Sashameric Cohen looks at me like a dog who's

356
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: just hurt, like a whistle because from his perspective, a

357
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 1: person who has come in to have a job in

358
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Speaker 1: reeve for the biggest job in their entire life. And

359
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: when the person asks, so what's your experience, that person

360
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:30,959
Speaker 1: went and then smiled at everyone like a psychopath.

361
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 2: That is so good. Holy smokes, that's so good. Sasha

362
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 2: beric Cone is six foot five. He's taller than Kurt,

363
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,199
Speaker 2: taller than me, and he is kurtis I got a

364
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: gas Curt up in the middle of the story, the

365
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 2: best improviser I've ever seen, like a New York Kurt

366
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 2: would demolish people at improv and Sasha is obviously one

367
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,240
Speaker 2: of the great character actors of all time. He's excellent,

368
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 2: but just six. Curtis six four, So just imagine the

369
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 2: scene in a room of thirty five people on Jonah Hill.

370
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 4: And no one in that room speaks German.

371
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,439
Speaker 1: Yes, thank god, so no one knows what's happening. And

372
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 1: then in German, Sasha speaks to the one producer who's

373
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 1: the German producers, and so the German producer looks at

374
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 1: me and he says, uh, something about mother and fada,

375
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 1: And so I'm assuming he's asking the names of my

376
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 1: mother and father.

377
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 4: I realized that later. H But I've already.

378
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 1: Gone back and forth with Sasha like two or three

379
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: times with like kind of a long answer. So this

380
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 1: time I just go nine, No, there's no answer to

381
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 1: the question has mother and father in it? With just no, yeah,

382
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 1: just a test, what's your mother and father's name?

383
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 2: No? Sorry, call my manager.

384
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 1: And so then so then Sasha goes like to the uh,

385
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,880
Speaker 1: to the casting agent and it's like it's gonna be over.

386
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,479
Speaker 1: And then, bless her heart, the casting agents like he's

387
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: a really good improviser, great improviser and UH, and they're

388
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 1: like and the director's like, okay, all right, well then

389
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: how about you hop up and you used to do

390
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: a little you know, improv with UH with Sasha, And

391
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: I was like okay, and I was like I felt

392
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,919
Speaker 1: much more comfortable improvisers than I do speaking fake German,

393
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: but I still have to speak in a German accent.

394
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: Oh sure.

395
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 1: So then we start improvising and he's like telling me

396
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 1: to do demeaning things and I'm like doing them and

397
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 1: trying to add Do you.

398
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 2: Think he was shitting on you? You're wasting his time?

399
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,719
Speaker 2: Do you think he was pissed?

400
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: He's like, this guy can't speak German. I don't want

401
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 1: him as the part. But now we're doing this fucking farce. Okay,

402
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just like try and like shit on him.

403
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 5: Yea.

404
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 1: But I was still getting laughs in the room. I

405
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 1: was getting laughs in the room, and I was feeling

406
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 1: pretty bold, got and uh, and he said clean my

407
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 1: glasses at like the fifth demeaning thing. He's like, clean

408
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 1: my glasses and I was like, yeah, I want to

409
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: clean them the most, the cleanest vey on how And

410
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 1: then I took his physical glasses and I licked that

411
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: him all the way.

412
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 2: Yeah over, Yes, nobody fucks with brown over.

413
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 1: And he actually got mad, yes, and he was like

414
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 1: clean THEO and he broke characters. I cleaned those off,

415
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: like he was so done with me, and I was

416
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: like yes, of course, I'm so sorry. And then I

417
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 1: got like kleenex and like wor rubbed them down and

418
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: like handed them back to me.

419
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 2: Uh.

420
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 4: And then they're like you can be thank you so much, goodbye.

421
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 4: And if you watch.

422
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: Bruno and you see his assistant, he does look almost

423
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: exactly like me, but he is fully cher.

424
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 2: But you made a legend break. Nobody makes him break.

425
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 2: He got wine drunk and then woke up and still

426
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 2: played borat. Everybody's like, how did you do that?

427
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 4: That's who you did it.

428
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: That's how little I meant to him that He's like,

429
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: I don't care, I'm breaking.

430
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I break it.

431
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 4: Get this asshole out of my sight.

432
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 2: Wow.

433
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's the story. You didn't book the part.

434
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 1: I didn't book the part. I do have a seven

435
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: to eight minute long story from it.

436
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 2: That's cool. That's cool. I love you. Yeah, that's interesting.

437
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 2: That's interesting. I did work on Who Is America. I

438
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 2: can't talk about it very much because they make you

439
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 2: sign so many nbas it's crazy.

440
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 4: But in the writer's room, I will say one.

441
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 2: Interesting thing is Sasha types all his own notes, so like,

442
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 2: you go, maybe do this, and he just looks at

443
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 2: you and types him and he just stares at what

444
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: he's typing. He's like, yeah, that's good, that's good. That's good.

445
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 2: I've never met any other actor. That's just like, I'm

446
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 2: going to write down everything everybody in this room says

447
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 2: and then can memorize it.

448
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: The guy he is a freak. No, no, he is,

449
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: he is. He's a genius. He's genius level. There's no

450
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:47,239
Speaker 1: argument about that. I definitely but he was right that

451
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: you weren't right for the part that I did not

452
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: speak Germany. He could sniff that out with his monster brain,

453
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 1: that I was not speaking German to it.

454
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 2: Could someone in this lovely step please provide me with

455
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 2: a vodka soda? Please, thank you very much. I'll go.

456
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: God damn stories, I'm Scottie.

457
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 2: My voice sounds like this. People still get a confused

458
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 2: that is Kurt. Yeah.

459
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 1: Last night someone was like Scotty and I'm like I'm Kurt,

460
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: and they're like what the fuck?

461
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 4: Like it changed their world.

462
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't get it. I don't see it.

463
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 4: I do not I cannot imagine my voice.

464
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 2: It would be so upsetting.

465
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would rule the world.

466
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 2: I would just call you and listen all night. Sarah

467
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 2: Reinhart sent this in Sarah, are you here okay? Seems

468
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 2: like a nice lady, Thanks for singing it in. This

469
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 2: was in Yahoo news dot com. I've heard of that.

470
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 2: Written by the best in the business, Michael Life, who

471
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 2: is easily the Michael Life is a tight name. My

472
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: name is Michael Life.

473
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: Michael Life, l I f E Mikey, Mike mister Life,

474
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 1: he loves life.

475
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: Woman charged eight thousand dollars after rental car company claims

476
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: she drove the distance of the Earth's circumference in three days.

477
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 6: Oh.

478
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 2: Woman charged eight thousand dollars after a rental car company

479
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,679
Speaker 2: claims she drove the distance of the Earth's circumference in

480
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 2: three days. Thank you. They do the math later, so

481
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 2: don't you worry. I'll tell you what that would entail.

482
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 2: Oh fuck this. A woman who rented a car in

483
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: Toronto was charged eight thousand dollars after the car rental

484
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 2: company claims she drove nearly the earth distance a circumference

485
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:46,199
Speaker 2: in three days. Spoiler alert, she did it, Michael Life.

486
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 4: Rental car company sucks.

487
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 2: We had then, So the car this morning sucked? Right?

488
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 4: I am every like I rented a car this morning.

489
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 4: They were like, oh, yeah, you know.

490
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: Problem go out and I was just like, oh, can

491
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: I get maybe a nicer version of what I reserved?

492
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: They're like, sure, it's forty more dollars and I was like,

493
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: I could pay it, and I upgrade it. And I

494
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 1: go out and I get into a car that smells

495
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: like that someone not only had been smoking in it,

496
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: but then had taken the cigarettes and buried them into

497
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: the fabric.

498
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 4: Very cool, and then left and I had forty eight

499
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 4: thousand miles on it, and I was just you have

500
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 4: to And I was just like I can't.

501
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: I can't.

502
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: And they're just like, oh, well, we were trying to

503
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: get you to take the lemon, but okay, here's the

504
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 1: other one right next door to it that you could

505
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 1: have it.

506
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 2: It's a perfect all gassed up and ready to.

507
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 4: Go fuck these people.

508
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 2: Spoiler alert. She did. And it would be pretty much

509
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 2: physically impossible, Okay, Michael, Yeah, it would be physically impossible.

510
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 4: The pretty much doesn't help us there, twenty.

511
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: Seventy two hours to go twenty two thousand miles.

512
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 2: Correct in a car.

513
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: Anybody good with math? How many miles per hour would.

514
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 2: You owe it? If getting to it? Don't you worry

515
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: Oh they do it. Oh yeah, Michael, life doesn't leave

516
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 2: any own unturned.

517
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 4: Hey, this is what you get. You get paid to

518
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,120
Speaker 4: write this article. You gotta do a little bit of man.

519
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: He's on Yahoo News. He ain't no bing dork. Okay. Unfortunately, Unfortunately,

520
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 2: when the customer called the car renters and her credit

521
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 2: card company report the mistake they encountered, she encountered an

522
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: epic run around. Her name is fuck. Giovanna Boniface, the

523
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 2: most Canadian name you've.

524
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 4: Ever heard in your life, Giovanna.

525
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: I was like they were in niamalf because she had

526
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 2: a little fiat. It was Giovanna o' boniface. No Toronto resident.

527
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 2: Giovanna Boniface rented the car from Avis three days this

528
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: month while traveling to Toronto to help her daughter get

529
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: settled in college.

530
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 4: That is nice, Boniface said.

531
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 2: She drove a GMC yukon Denali between the airport downtown

532
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 2: Toronto and then do Kitchener, Ontario, where she visited her

533
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 2: mother in law. What a nice lady Givanna is. Let's

534
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,919
Speaker 2: chart her eight thousand fucking dollars probably more than Tuisham

535
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: Kitchener for chinner. For those who don't know is about

536
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 2: an hour outside of Toronto, so one hour. Yep. This

537
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: would be like a resident of New York City renting

538
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 2: a car to get around the city, and then, Michael,

539
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 2: what are you doing for New York City? Then renting

540
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 2: a car to get around the city, and then to

541
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 2: a nearby upstate commuter town, Kirk, can you imagine that?

542
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: I can imagine it. A nearby upstate commuter town. There's

543
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: a ton of them, Bud, just pick one and name one,

544
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: you know, fine, you just drive.

545
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 2: Around Minneapolis a little bit, then to a slightly up

546
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 2: to eaton Prairie. Perhaps that's south right.

547
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be like driving one hour outside of

548
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: any city on the fucking planet, for.

549
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: Example, Michael Life doesn't want anybody in the dark ever

550
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 2: at Yahoo News.

551
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 1: Like your city, but whatever's one hour north of it?

552
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 2: Holy smokes. Boniface said she had driven about one hundred

553
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: and eighty six miles once she turned the car into

554
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: the airport and checked into a flight, and then flew

555
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: to Europe. So she gets on a plane in Europe,

556
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 2: doesn't know this is happening. While waiting to board, she

557
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: checked her credit card account online. That's when I noticed

558
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 2: this chart. Excuse me.

559
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 4: That's when I noticed a charge for over eight thousand.

560
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 2: Dollars from Avis Bonifael. Oh my god. Reviewing a receipt,

561
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 2: Bonifay saw that Avis had charge her for driving two

562
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: thousand a twenty two thousand, six hundred and sixty eight

563
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: miles at their rate of twenty five cents per mile.

564
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: Boniface said she would have had to drive for seventy

565
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 2: two hours straight at approximately three hundred and twenty miles

566
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 2: an hour.

567
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: Oh god, man, I wish she had three I know,

568
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: just all over Canda.

569
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 4: How many times is that around Canada?

570
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: Oh?

571
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: I drove around Canada five times?

572
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: Oh god, three and twenty miles an hour for seventy

573
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 2: two hours straight. No peace.

574
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 1: Ready to think about a but what what kind of

575
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: car was it? A Dnali to the STV? Just think

576
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: about it going three other twenty. I know she can't

577
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: even pull her arms off. Tires just ripping off like steer.

578
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, birds and bats just smashing into the Windshew, I

579
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: can't stop. I have to do this. I have so

580
00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 2: much money, Michael life. She wants everybody in this theater

581
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: to know that it would be the equivalent of driving

582
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 2: New York LA eight times in three days.

583
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 4: Ah, that's good. That's a good run. That is we

584
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 4: can visualize.

585
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 2: At first, the shock customer wanted to go back through

586
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: security and Tsay said no. She wanted to go the

587
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 2: AVIS counter and to the airport entrance, but lines of

588
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: security were so long she didn't have time and you

589
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: would have missed her flight. She tried to call the

590
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 2: airport AVIS, but nobody picked up the phone. Are you shocked? No? No?

591
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:34,239
Speaker 6: Uh?

592
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: Boniface bonface Giovanna Boniface from Vancouver or Toronto. Boniface then

593
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 2: called AVIS through their main phone number, but was disconnected

594
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: two times before she had to board her flight. I

595
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: mean the stress of this flight. Then, after she landed

596
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 2: in Paris, I've heard of that, Boniface called Visa to

597
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: dispute the transaction, but the credit card company their hands set,

598
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: Their hands were tied because the charge was still pending.

599
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 2: After almost a week, she had reported the epic billing

600
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: mistake to the media. Smart Yeah, Boniface got a call

601
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: from AVIS telling her she'd get a refund for the overcharge.

602
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 2: So they charged her.

603
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 4: Oh, they actually charged her.

604
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 2: And then refunded her. Avas said that it has since

605
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 2: apologized to Giovanna Boniface for the erroneous, erroneous billing, but

606
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: didn't explain how the mistake happened, which is so good.

607
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 4: I mean, there's been no explanation.

608
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: No queen, it just went for a Overall, it was

609
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 2: good customer service, she said, and the most frustrating thing

610
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: was not getting through to customer service in any kind

611
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 2: of timely way. So for almost a week in pairs,

612
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: she had a eight thousand dollars charge on her credit card.

613
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy.

614
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 4: Damn, I cannot wait.

615
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: If you just started a company that's like, we're not Dix,

616
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: will rent you a car and then and that's what

617
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: you did, that would be amazing.

618
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 4: I would use that.

619
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: I can't wait for like some sort of thing to

620
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: come around where it's just like it's destroyed the rental

621
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: car industry. The new button on your phone where a

622
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: car pops out of your asshole.

623
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that would do it. That would be a

624
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 2: lot of revolutionize it. Also, it's so funny for anybody

625
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 2: here who has no idea what bananas is and this

626
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: is your first time seeing it, It's like, hey, guys,

627
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 2: welcome to bananas.

628
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, how many people it is? Your first time.

629
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 2: First time resis Jane's Oh great, nice, thanks for coming,

630
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: thanks for coming, Thanks for really dudes in the front row,

631
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 2: Gat sure fright row there with a die hard Bananamal.

632
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 2: I think, so tell me a story. When I was

633
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 2: in Brooklyn, New York, which is, if you drove back

634
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 2: and forth between Brooklyn, New York and LA eight times

635
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 2: since seventy two hours, that would be twenty two thousand miles.

636
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 2: I was pretty honest, like twenty three, twenty four. And

637
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 2: there's a young group of friends and we all kind

638
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 2: of met, and then my friend started dating this really

639
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 2: wonderful woman. And I'm gonna use all fake names in this.

640
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 2: So her name was Sarah. It was not her name,

641
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: but uh, Sarah went to an all women's college, and

642
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: so all her friends, who also had recently moved to

643
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: New York were also all women. And so my friend

644
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: group was very into this idea. And there is one

645
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: woman in this group who I will name. Let's what

646
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: give me any name? Female name Darlene. Darlene. Wow, Okay,

647
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 2: it's making a story strange to tell this story. Yeah,

648
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: there's one woman named Darlene who's very beautiful and in

649
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 2: her teen teenage years. She was a model for a

650
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 2: bunch of limited in all these different catalogs.

651
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.

652
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 2: And every guy that I was friends with woul at

653
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 2: least try to strike up a conversation with her at

654
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: a bar at some point, and she would always politely

655
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: shut them, shut them down. She was a very nice person.

656
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: And so this went on for like a year or two.

657
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 2: But anytime anybody said anything like should we do a

658
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 2: tough mutter? Should we go to see a concert Madison

659
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: Square Garden first option?

660
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: We did a should we do a tough night? Also,

661
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: it belies what time this was. Yeah, and that was

662
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: an option for what you might do two thousand and six.

663
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 2: Ish, this concert, that Art Galley, whatever, And Darlene would

664
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 2: always say yes. So one night I'm out with my

665
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: friend who's dating Sarah, and Darlene comes and we're all

666
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 2: getting drunk in Brooklyn and finally I go, Darlene, what

667
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 2: do you do? And she goes, what do you mean?

668
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: I go, you say yes to everything? What do you do?

669
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 7: Like?

670
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 2: Did you just save so much from modeling? Like I

671
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 2: know that's a rude question to be, like, how do

672
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: you have money? But it was to the point where

673
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: like nobody knew what this person did. And she just said,

674
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: I want to go to Hawaii. I'll be there and

675
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: she drops her head and she says, I'm an escort.

676
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 2: And Sarah didn't know, and my buddy Brian didn't know,

677
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: and I didn't know.

678
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 4: I go, that's fantastic. I love this.

679
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 2: And Sarah's like, really, like had hit it for you years?

680
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: So I said, well, what's the most interesting story you

681
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 2: have about this? Yeah? Like I was like, don't don't

682
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: talk sex. I want to know, like, what's interesting about

683
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 2: this job? And she goes, I have one. So this

684
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 2: is what she told me.

685
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 4: And when I named her Darlene, I.

686
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: You know, I really didn't anticipate where this story was going.

687
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,240
Speaker 2: It makes it so much money.

688
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: They love the idea of Darlene as your sex work name, because.

689
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 4: Anything anything but Roseanne. Everybody's like, that's Roseanne's daughter.

690
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: That is correct, right, What do you want to call

691
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 2: me Celeste Darlene? So she goes, oh, man, I'm so

692
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 2: glad I get to tell this in a live show,

693
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: she said. And also she's out of the business. She

694
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 2: no longer does that anymore. It's her profession, so I'm

695
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 2: not like she's this is never going to come back

696
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 2: around to Darlene. She says, I have one client who

697
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 2: lives on the Upper West Side and he works for

698
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 2: a big German bank.

699
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: A bank maybe, I mean, is there another one? There

700
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: isn't another one that literally means German bank, It could

701
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: be that one.

702
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,840
Speaker 2: And once a month I go up there and I

703
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 2: have to wear like a a Betty Draper sort of

704
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: a homemaker dress from like the nineteen fifties sixties, and

705
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 2: she has oh wow, yeah, So she goes up there.

706
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: She has to go to a very specific time on

707
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: a Saturday, and she she has to knock on the

708
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 2: door no doorbell, and the door opens and the German

709
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,320
Speaker 2: banker is standing there in a white tshirt and khakis,

710
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 2: and he doesn't say anything, and she has to ignore

711
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: him and walk back asked him into the apartment and

712
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 2: say I'm home, I'm home. And then she's not allowed

713
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 2: to bring her phone, and she's not allowed to bring

714
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 2: a laptop. She's only allowed to read books and magazines.

715
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: That is like one of the rules. And she's only

716
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 2: allowed to be in the living room or the kitchen.

717
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 2: At that point. Oh man, I'm twenty three or twenty four,

718
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 2: sitting at a bar listening to this, Like one day

719
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 2: I will have a podcast. They don't exist yet.

720
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: You're just like memorizing every little like a stenographer, Like

721
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: I had a little scenographer up here, just being like, oh,

722
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 1: do it say everywhere he does.

723
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 4: He has a stenographer in his mind.

724
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:44,800
Speaker 2: So oh, man, so I'm home. Oh I'm so ready.

725
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 2: He goes into his bedroom. He he comes out. Oh. Also,

726
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 2: this doesn't really matter, but she said he was about

727
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 2: like five foot four, like one hundred and thirty pounds,

728
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: like a pretty petite man. Comes up, fully naked, unaroused, unarroused.

729
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: She has to preset the oven. Darlene has to preset

730
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,760
Speaker 2: the oven. You mean preheat the oven. Yeah, yeah, preheat.

731
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 4: Sorry, sorry, somebody doesn't do a lot of baking.

732
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: Somebody doesn't know baking. She has to boil the oven.

733
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: She boils the oven for a little while.

734
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 4: Sparkles and heats.

735
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, ah, she likes a sparkler, turns the gas on, tossing,

736
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 2: preheats the oven. He has built a second oven in

737
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 2: his kitchen, huge next to the actual one. From this

738
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: point on, she uh, Darlene uh lifts him up.

739
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 4: Wait what.

740
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 2: Lets she Kurt, what I do you understand? She lifts

741
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: the nude German banker up.

742
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 1: He wait, he has a human size oven that's next

743
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 1: to his real oven.

744
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:18,720
Speaker 8: Yes, yes, oh boy, this is what Deutsche Bank money

745
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 8: gets you.

746
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 4: Yes, you fucking anything you want.

747
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: Also, I wasn't gonna tell the story, but you doing

748
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 2: your German thing reminded me of the story. This is

749
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 2: why it's so fun. I've never told this on the pot.

750
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: I can't believe it. I cannot.

751
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 4: I cannot believe you've never told them.

752
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm gonna need some help from the audience

753
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 2: for the next part. So she lifts him up and

754
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 2: puts him in a baking tin, an aluminum tin, face down.

755
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 2: And then when you cook, when you cook a bird

756
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 2: like a chicken or turkey or whatever, and you tie

757
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: the legs, right, what's that called trusting? Trust, tressing, trusting?

758
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 2: I thought he was trusting. I didn't want to sound

759
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 2: like an idiot because of somebody. So then she would

760
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: I'm up and trust him. Then she would rub him

761
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 2: with butter and water and baste him and rub him

762
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,760
Speaker 2: in and say this is going to be the best

763
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 2: one ever. That was like a big thing. She said.

764
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 2: She would have to say that constantly for three or

765
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: four hours. This is going to be the best one yet,

766
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: this is going to be the best one ever. Then

767
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 2: she had it. Darlene had an egg timer, you know,

768
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,879
Speaker 2: an hour timer, and she would turn it to an hour,

769
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 2: and then she would leave him on the counter in

770
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 2: the kitchen in a tin, trussed and buttered and seasoned

771
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 2: and basted and wet, and then have to read a

772
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 2: magazine for fifteen minutes. If I'm lying, lightning can kill

773
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 2: me right now. Then ding, she walks over, opens the

774
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: fake oven that has a red light in it, a

775
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: red light bulb, and slides him in. That was the

776
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 2: hardest part of the things, she said. You'd take him

777
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,720
Speaker 2: from the counter in a tin into the fake oven

778
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 2: and slide him in where she would cook him like

779
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 2: a turkey for four hours.

780
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 4: He stayed. He stayed in that.

781
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 2: Position, stayed in that position the entire time. She would

782
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 2: set the timer, because when you cook a turkey got

783
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 2: to basted it. So she would pull him out every

784
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 2: hour or so, brush him with a basting brush and water.

785
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: She'd have to yell to nonexistent family, smells good, best

786
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:33,959
Speaker 2: one yet, best one ever, put him back in, go

787
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 2: back and read in another magazine or two. Then when

788
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 2: it was done, so Dan Turkey's done, pull him out,

789
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 2: put him on the counter, put him on a platter,

790
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 2: cut the bines, and then she had to walk away,

791
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 2: Darling had to go into a living room and where

792
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 2: she couldn't see him. She never had sex with this man.

793
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 2: She never touched his penis ever. She never complimented him,

794
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 2: saying he's the best turkey she's ever cooked, and everybody's

795
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: gonna be so excited. Then he would go into the

796
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 2: bedroom and take a shower. Then she would go and

797
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 2: stand by the door with a purse. Oh, she had

798
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: gloves on two like white gloves, like yeah, Friely, little

799
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 2: white gloves. And she would have to like look through

800
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 2: her things and he would come out in a white

801
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 2: T shirt and khakis, hand her a check for twelve

802
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 2: thousand dollars.

803
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 1: Twelve thousand dollars and that was in like two thousand

804
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 1: and five or something, yes, and it's worth one hundred

805
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,280
Speaker 1: thousand dollars now.

806
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: And then she would have to take it and thank

807
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 2: him and put it in her person, button it, and

808
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 2: then he would say, I will see you next month.

809
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 2: And then she would leave and she did it for

810
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: two years. She cooked him twenty four times. Isn't that incredible?

811
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 1: First off, Darlene is my hero. Darley is the greatest.

812
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: Darlene is the greatest.

813
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if he came with anything, but I

814
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 2: think so, I come with that. She didn't know him.

815
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 2: I know that. No, I don't think so. I think

816
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 2: it was just cooking a turkey. And I was talking

817
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:16,439
Speaker 2: I have a fan out in la as a sex

818
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 2: worker now, And she said, how much is it? Twelve thousand?

819
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 2: She goes, that's exactly right. She said that's yeah. She said,

820
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 2: like for her level, four hours would be like three

821
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 2: grand an hour at that level to do something so specific.

822
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 2: But Darlene was like, it's amazing. I've never fucked this dude.

823
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 2: But he basically she was making a ton of money.

824
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: So all of us were making like twenty grand a

825
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: year and she's making that in two months cooking a

826
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,280
Speaker 2: German bank like a turkey. She was the best.

827
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 4: Oh, like the one that got away.

828
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 2: Oh well, okay, oh, isn't that incredible?

829
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 4: So amazing?

830
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 2: So glad to tell to Minneapolis.

831
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 1: All right on that let's take a little break here,

832
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: I'll tease us in to our next our next story.

833
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,800
Speaker 2: Are you ready for it? Oh? I cannot wait.

834
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: Oh, this one's gotta be great. We got to do

835
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: this one. Uh wow, yeah, and the German ship.

836
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 4: Oh it's right, that's maybe too German.

837
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: Then okay, do that one.

838
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, here it is.

839
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:19,720
Speaker 2: We love German.

840
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 4: Tease us in, but not that much.

841
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 2: You didn't know what we're saying.

842
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: An ice age bison was discovered, then soon eaten once

843
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 1: the foul taste was smothered.

844
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 4: Ah, that coming up soon.

845
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: On?

846
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 2: Then on, I thought you were gonna do your We'll

847
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 2: be right back with more bananas.

848
00:44:47,920 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 6: Love ba bajo baby banana banana.

849
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 7: And we are back in Minneapoils at the Parkway Theater.

850
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,399
Speaker 2: We are back. We're back.

851
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 1: You know we need we need somebody to go get

852
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: the confession, the Fall of Confessions, right please.

853
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, we're gonna do a little bit of longest banana.

854
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 2: Let's do the longest banana first.

855
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, Who's who? Who came from the farthest way to

856
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 4: be here? Tonight?

857
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: Tonight Where New.

858
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 4: Mexico for the show, For the show that counts, For

859
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:48,879
Speaker 4: the show.

860
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 1: Baltimore, New Mexico is gonna win. I think South Dakota closer.

861
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: I don't understand geography because I don't know where any

862
00:45:59,000 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 1: of Mexico.

863
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 2: Step leading the way.

864
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 4: Thank you very many, Beat New Mexico.

865
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 2: Thank you.

866
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 4: Get out up here, Get up here. We could sign

867
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 4: a headshot too, Curdibe, what size? What's your name?

868
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: What?

869
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:16,720
Speaker 2: Joe?

870
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 4: Yes, give it up for Joe.

871
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 2: Everybody, let's sign one of these too. Alight. I got

872
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 2: some shout out to CURTI b and we got a

873
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 2: butt load. You can start reading these if you need to.

874
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 2: We got great confessions. Also. Denver was so insane for confessions.

875
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 2: There was one group that brought like thirty that they

876
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 2: pre wrote and just stuffed. And they were one of them,

877
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 2: which if you heard the pod, it's okay if you didn't,

878
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 2: but they were like, I used to freeze my shit, Yeah,

879
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 2: slice it thinly and then sneak up to strangers and

880
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 2: slide that slice into their pockets. That's one of the

881
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 2: strangest things. I write horror movies. Yeah, and I did

882
00:46:55,840 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 2: not sleep. I slept, okay. I got some shout outs.

883
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 2: Amanda tells us the band Winter State is here.

884
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 3: Is this.

885
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 2: They listened to us in the van we shouted you

886
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:15,760
Speaker 2: guys out before right? Nice? Right? Are you playing anywhere

887
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:20,919
Speaker 2: in the area soon? Okay, tonight, right after the show.

888
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 2: Thanks for coming guys, nice to meet you. Thank you.

889
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 2: Hannah is shouting out Kyle, who just got promoted. Kurt,

890
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 2: why is that a big deal?

891
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 4: Why? Because his promotion means that he leads a team

892
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 4: that conserves millions.

893
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:38,879
Speaker 2: Of acres of habitats of wildlife across the Midwest's good

894
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 2: up for Kyle. Kyle? Are you here? What size?

895
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:46,919
Speaker 4: What's gonna get you a Joe?

896
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 2: We'll do it again. We'll do it again. We'll do

897
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: it again. Tell him the thanks. We we love habitats.

898
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 2: It's super important to us. Emma wants a shout out

899
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 2: Sophie for becoming a doctor today. She defended her dissertation today.

900
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 2: Are you here? Oh, it's you. What's South Dakota? What

901
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 2: are you?

902
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 6: What?

903
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 4: Are you a doctor of that couch? Night?

904
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 2: Am I missing anybody? People? Send him up to the

905
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 2: last minute. I'm so sorry if I missed anybody. It

906
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 2: is actually a lot of d ms. But I do

907
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 2: want to bring a wood person, Tony, bring that jacket

908
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 2: up here, please on to the stage. My good friend

909
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 2: from Minneapolis. Tony Tompkins a Twitter friend turned real friend.

910
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: Because this jacket, he told me, the inside of it

911
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,240
Speaker 2: has been signed by the Seminole signed by the Seminal

912
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 2: band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, please show them. So we're

913
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: gonna sign the inside of this as if we're like

914
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,959
Speaker 2: the second saxophone player in the second Trump.

915
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, give it up for Tony.

916
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: Everybody true, diehard, buten animal and I mean that, bury

917
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 2: him in that jacket, Jeremy, Right, you got it. I'm

918
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 2: good with names. Sorry, Bud, and that's all I got.

919
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 2: Crity b Thank you for everybody coming out. We're so

920
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 2: happy to see. We truly love Minneapolis. We knew the

921
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 2: shows me great. Yeah, so now it's time for some hot, hot, hot,

922
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 2: hot high.

923
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 1: I've got some pretty great confessions here. All right, you're

924
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 1: gonna gett off the bat. When I was a kid,

925
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: I would climb trees and then masturbate.

926
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 4: All right, I get it, I get it.

927
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: I don't And that's why we're funny. That's why we're buddies.

928
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 2: I try to be supportive, but sometimes my student is

929
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 2: just dumb. My mom was a teacher, you were absolved.

930
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:55,799
Speaker 2: Sometimes student is just dumb.

931
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 4: Sometimes sometimes student dumb.

932
00:49:58,239 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: Hope you're not an English teacher.

933
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 1: Huh. I was one of three volunteers at my first

934
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: and only shift at Wildlife Rehab Center. I did not

935
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: know what I signed up for before we got started

936
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 1: stimulating orphaned baby squirrels.

937
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 4: Peels and poopoles to get them to go potty.

938
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: I said I needed to use the restroom and just laughed,

939
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, why by passed the bathroom, walked straight

940
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: to my car and never came back.

941
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 4: You are a zomb It is a beautiful confession.

942
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 2: We've gotten this one to four in other cities, which

943
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: makes me realize it is an epidemic. Oh man. I

944
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 2: used to be a teacher and would often crop dust

945
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 2: near the desks of kids that drove me nuts.

946
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 1: Ah.

947
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 2: They were rantid, and I always laughed. I always laughed

948
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: them out for oh man, I don't know what this says.

949
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say I always laughed for farting on them.

950
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 2: Just not say that I regret nothing. You're absolved, teacher's rule.

951
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 2: Some kids are just real jerks. It was pretty nice here,

952
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 2: it is.

953
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: I think wheezer is overrated, and I'm afraid to tell

954
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:14,240
Speaker 1: my friends.

955
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 4: They are though they are.

956
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 2: They have a couple they have like yeah, the first

957
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 2: is good people like Pinkerton. Yeah.

958
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 4: I never got into it.

959
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: I had sex with a tampon it and it got

960
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:34,320
Speaker 1: stuck in me and a doctor had to remove.

961
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. I did that. I had that once. I had

962
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 2: the exact same thing happened. I was on the other

963
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: end of it. But it was not great. It was

964
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: not great.

965
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

966
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 2: It was fun for me. They had a pinball machine

967
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 2: in the waiting room. I'm kidding. It sucked, but not

968
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 2: as much for me. I've been avoiding my mom for

969
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 2: the past month because I'm not coming home for the holidays.

970
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: That's fine. There's two holidays. You can go to one

971
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 2: of them.

972
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 1: In high school, you used to work walk out of

973
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: stores with their cardboard cutouts.

974
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 4: Hannah Montana was my favorite.

975
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 2: I'm in love with taking photos of bathroom signs. That's fine.

976
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 2: That seems like pretty nice. That's okay. You're not a

977
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: creepy purv or anything. You're absolved, that's great. Do what

978
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 2: you love forever. I don't have a confession because I

979
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 2: always get drunk and tell everyone everything.

980
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 9: We know.

981
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 2: That's me.

982
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 4: That's me, baby, that's funny. I know it is funny.

983
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 2: Yeah. I went to a therapist a few years ago

984
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 2: and after the second session, she's like, do you have

985
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 2: like a good friend group. I'm like, I have a

986
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 2: great friend group. She's like, yeah, you just seem really

987
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 2: open and you're about do you talk to them about

988
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 2: stuff and like everything. She's like, you don't have to

989
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 2: come back if you don't want, and I didn't. We

990
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: have good friends. This is one of them.

991
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, I like to walk around my apartment naked

992
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 1: while doing hip thrust to tell me baby by the

993
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: Red Hot Chili Peppers.

994
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 2: Oh I don't know that song though.

995
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:13,280
Speaker 4: That's definitely a dude right, yeah, yeah, that's some slap.

996
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 4: That's some slappies. My dog thinks my boogers are treats

997
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 4: that I don't have a tissue.

998
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 2: I give the dry up. Don't you do it? You

999
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 2: freaks now?

1000
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: He runs over and stares with anticipation, but he sees

1001
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: me knuckle deep.

1002
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:35,959
Speaker 2: I love.

1003
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 4: Also knuckle deep to refer to your nose is crazy.

1004
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 2: Knuckles in that it makes you wonder though, why does

1005
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 2: the finger in the nostril? They're like perfectly song knuckles

1006
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 2: deep I've never listened to bananas. That's so fine, that's okay.

1007
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 2: So but I've heard the ads on MFM, so I'm

1008
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 2: here now, that's fine. We love my favorite murderer. I'm

1009
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 2: a murderingo.

1010
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,280
Speaker 4: Give me, give me one more, Scottie.

1011
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 2: These are anonymous. I shipped my pants in church this Sunday.

1012
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 2: I didn't go to church. I don't go to church.

1013
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 2: This is just she's just shit her pants on Sunday.

1014
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 2: I think what you're absolved. That's fine, it's part of.

1015
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: Like you went into the church to ship your pants,

1016
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 1: and I have something. I said, bucket, let's completed. That's right,

1017
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 1: ship pants in church.

1018
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna hit a hitter. We're gonna hit a

1019
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 2: home run. Yeah, yeah, ninety oh, this is good. I

1020
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 2: think this is relevant to our interests as people of

1021
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: the time I went to youth group. When I went

1022
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 2: to youth group as a teen, I skipped out to

1023
00:54:53,280 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 2: have sex with my boyfriend in my car. Awes awesome, awesome,

1024
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 2: that's cool. I sat in the front tonight, felt too

1025
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 2: exposed and moved to the back way. Nice.

1026
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're nice. We're very nice.

1027
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 2: We don't heckle, we don't hazes, we throw candy occasionally,

1028
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 2: t shirts and coozies.

1029
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 1: In high school and Catholic private high school, my friends

1030
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 1: and I did ecstasy before dance. The religion teacher was

1031
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: a chaperone and kicked my friend out at the dance

1032
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 1: for quote acting funny and having a boner.

1033
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 4: All right, there we go, There.

1034
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 2: We go, Keithriniery.

1035
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 4: Everybody, Yeah, all righty guys, ready to hear this story.

1036
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 2: Thank you for your confessions. Let's get back here too.

1037
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:43,840
Speaker 2: You're old dast anybody want this bottle of a one sauce.

1038
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 2: There's still plenty in there. There's a lot. It's free

1039
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 2: to a good family.

1040
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 5: Uh.

1041
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: Here it is.

1042
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:54,879
Speaker 1: This was sent in by Jessica Hemy. Oh she's great,

1043
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:55,760
Speaker 1: She's awesome.

1044
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:56,919
Speaker 2: We love her so much.

1045
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 4: She's gonna so.

1046
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: This was an NPR written by Vanessa Roma, who means

1047
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: to be though.

1048
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 2: Right.

1049
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 1: An ice age bison was discovered, then soon eaten once

1050
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 1: the foul taste was smothered.

1051
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 2: What here it is?

1052
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 1: In nineteen seventy nine, researchers unearthed the mummified body of

1053
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: a fifty five thousand year old step bison in the

1054
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: Alaska tundra. Shortly after they sliced off a piece of

1055
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:22,959
Speaker 1: its neck to eat.

1056
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 4: Here's a nice story. Here's a news story told in rhyme.

1057
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 2: So wait, okay, they're gonna tell the story of a

1058
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 2: dead Arctic bison in rhyme.

1059
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,720
Speaker 4: I don't know why here it is what rhymes with bison.

1060
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 4: We'll find out.

1061
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 1: Dyson not back in seventy nine if I'll tell you what. Yeah,

1062
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 1: Dyson is not in this story. This is not a

1063
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 1: traditional story, not many names or dates, So don't worry.

1064
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 2: Oh, you're a kid at I don't like him. You're

1065
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:58,400
Speaker 2: not kidding.

1066
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 4: It's also not in credibly timely.

1067
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 1: But it's about a ice age step bison and a

1068
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: man whose thought process defies me.

1069
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,360
Speaker 2: Let near rhyme. That's that's a near rhyme. That's a

1070
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:10,919
Speaker 2: near rhyme.

1071
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 4: Let's start with.

1072
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,359
Speaker 1: The creature lived more than fifty five thousand years ago,

1073
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: was brought to his knees by a lion ancestor foe.

1074
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: Down went the bison on permafrost ground, which kept him

1075
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 1: from being eaten or found good. Neither predator nor man

1076
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 1: disturbed the behemoth mass as it remained in case in

1077
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: a protective frozen glass. Okay, leaping forward, to nineteen seventy nine,

1078
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: a team of explorers venture out to mine. Yes, gold

1079
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: is what they're on the lookout for. On the spot

1080
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 1: where the bison hit the floor with a hydraulic mining hose,

1081
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: they melted away some frozen sludge till someone said, where's

1082
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: pio stop?

1083
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 2: Hey, Oh, they're getting funny.

1084
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: They reported their findings to University of Alaska Fairbanks officials.

1085
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 2: Oh that's so bad.

1086
00:57:55,080 --> 00:58:00,120
Speaker 1: Dale Guthrie led the excavation, limiting interstitials.

1087
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 2: What NPR you have fallen from such heights.

1088
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 1: The skeleton, the skin, the muscles, all in near and

1089
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: impeccable condition. Guthrie named it Blue Babe, then sliced off

1090
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: a piece for a culinary mission.

1091
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 4: You know what we can do, he asked.

1092
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: Host a dinner party, and with cooking the meat, I'll

1093
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: be tasked the Blue Babe. Next steak served eight, with

1094
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: veggies and spices and lots of booze.

1095
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 2: They ate.

1096
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 1: Years later, writing about the taste, Guthrie said one thought

1097
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 1: one could mistake the aroma for beef.

1098
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 4: Not unpleasantly earthy, but once in the mouth. His wife,

1099
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 4: Mary Lee.

1100
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: Gurthy told podcasters from Gimlet it was worse than beef jerky.

1101
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 2: I lost this again.

1102
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 1: Still, it was a great party, she fondly remembered, a

1103
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 1: dreamy symbolism of the meal that endured, remembered and endured.

1104
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 4: And doesn't know what words.

1105
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 2: Rhyme they should have ended on the girl.

1106
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: It was a feast by all counts, a true celebration

1107
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,959
Speaker 1: and imagining of the human experience on earth, she said,

1108
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 1: with elation.

1109
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 4: Okay, honestly, I thought everyone would love that so much more,

1110
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 4: not me.

1111
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 2: That was so bizarre. We were all like, what because,

1112
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 2: But it's that a group of people found a priest

1113
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 2: fifty five thousand year old frozen buffe of bison, And because.

1114
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 1: It was nineteen seventy nine, they're like, they fucking eat it.

1115
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 1: We're all on acid. Anyway, let's eat it. It was different,

1116
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 1: It was different, but there was no laws, no sir.

1117
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: So I wanted to actually write a stand up set

1118
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: in rhyme.

1119
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 2: And now I know no one likes that, so yeah,

1120
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 2: don't do that, do not please, guy. I will not

1121
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 2: do that. But I did do it.

1122
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 4: I did. Do you remember do you remember?

1123
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 6: That?

1124
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 4: Sounds like my day?

1125
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is It's like a bit that was like,

1126
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: oh my god, fifteen years ago, I wrote a bit

1127
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: where it was like the setup for it.

1128
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 4: I remember that up for it was.

1129
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 1: I had a dream when I was twelve years old

1130
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 1: when I saw that Police Academy movie and I saw

1131
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 1: the sound effects guy. But unfortunately I was born with

1132
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: a speech defect and I was and I let that

1133
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: dream die.

1134
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 2: Oh that's it. Dreams. They don't let them talk.

1135
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 1: But recently I've been had to go. Recently, I've been

1136
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: training with a vocal coach. Oh my god, and now

1137
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: I am ready to present to you. That sounds like

1138
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 1: my day.

1139
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 2: All right, let's get him to do it. Let's get

1140
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 2: him to do it. Give me three do it's ready?

1141
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:52,919
Speaker 2: Do it? Do it, dude, that's all right, I'll try.

1142
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Oh this is my favorite bit.

1143
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 4: All right, So that sounds like my day.

1144
01:00:59,000 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1145
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 1: First I wake up and I brush my teeth. Oh,

1146
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 1: now it's time to go to work.

1147
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 4: What's wrong? Better check the oil.

1148
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 2: Oil?

1149
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 4: Fine, there we go.

1150
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: Now I'm at work. Time to turn on my computer.

1151
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: Oh oh, it looks like I've got email.

1152
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 4: You gotten me telephone ringing? Hello? It's mom, Hi Mom.

1153
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 9: Okay, I gotta go fact something critt chet much crit

1154
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 9: chet bunch of the fact that she always breaks I

1155
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:12,040
Speaker 9: gotta go home now, it's time to go to bed,

1156
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,240
Speaker 9: and that's my dad.

1157
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 2: That sounds a lot like my dad.

1158
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 4: I haven't done that in a very long time.

1159
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 2: I am crying. I know, my god. Oh fuck, okay,

1160
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 2: thank you. I think I like that you've gotten mailed

1161
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 2: the most because it's such a dated reference.

1162
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 4: Yeah me, man. The fact that the computer would say that,

1163
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 4: it's so funny to me. I know, it's so innocent.

1164
01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 4: It's an innocent time. It's like, this is how it works, asshole.

1165
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 2: When I was in college and uh went on like

1166
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:07,120
Speaker 2: the nights, I didn't go out like Friday or Saturday

1167
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 2: nights with big nights or Thursday Thursdays or whatever. I

1168
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 2: had really good speakers for some reason. I had a

1169
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 2: Gateway computer, but it came with Boston Dynamics or whatever speakers,

1170
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 2: like banging speakers. So I used to put them in

1171
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 2: my window and I would play like Harry Belafonte, like

1172
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 2: day Oh as loud as I could. I would play

1173
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 2: fun stuff that all the drunks coming back from frat

1174
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 2: row and stuff would like be like oo soup and

1175
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 2: they would do that and then I would be hanging

1176
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 2: out and I'd pass out, and then somebody would sign

1177
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 2: into aol inste Messenger and my thing, my alert was

1178
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 2: a cast register. So at the volume of a Metallica concert,

1179
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 2: it would go at like five am, and I'd be like,

1180
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 2: Oh Jesus Christ, the good old days.

1181
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 4: I was at Philly. I was in Philly last weekend

1182
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 4: doing shows.

1183
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 1: And are you guys familiar with wah wah as anybody

1184
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 1: from the East coast here? Wah wah for those of

1185
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 1: you don't know, is the best. It's one of the

1186
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 1: best convenience stores in the entire planet.

1187
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like it's.

1188
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 1: Named after like the name that like the native name

1189
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 1: for a Canadian goose.

1190
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 4: Just wah.

1191
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 1: It's so fucking It's what I would name a goose.

1192
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 1: It's so fucking great. Best sound effect yet, that's exactly

1193
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: what the name of the animal is. Would name every

1194
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: animal exactly what they sound like. That's a quack quack,

1195
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,040
Speaker 1: that's a wa wow.

1196
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 2: Uh man, what a show. I would watch that Nature show. Oh,

1197
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 2: I would watch that Nature show so much.

1198
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:35,800
Speaker 9: Hi uh And I.

1199
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:37,880
Speaker 1: Noticed, so the way that wa wah works is there's

1200
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: like a keypad and you like enter your order in

1201
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:43,600
Speaker 1: and then it comes up on the other side and

1202
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 1: then they make your sandwich or whatever it is.

1203
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:47,160
Speaker 4: But I noticed while I was there, and I'd never

1204
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 4: noticed this for sure.

1205
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 1: As it comes up, it plays this digital chime that

1206
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 1: goes bet like like a herald, like announcing an order,

1207
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 1: like like little horns, And I was like this, My

1208
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: heart goes out to everyone who's ever had.

1209
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 2: To work at WOWA. Oh shit, where they're like just like.

1210
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:12,400
Speaker 1: Trying to do your job, and it's like, my majesty

1211
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 1: the Prince would like a sloppy Joe extra.

1212
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 4: Wet shrimp salad on wheat.

1213
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:29,440
Speaker 2: This was sentence by Cody. Cody, Just Cody, do we

1214
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 2: have any codies here tonight? You know that's a nice name.

1215
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 2: Good job. Oh We're gonna act like it was you,

1216
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 2: all right? If you want a one, you let me know.

1217
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 2: I know a guy. This was fun, man. This sounds

1218
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 2: so fake. Goodnewsnetwork dot org written by that Good News

1219
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 2: Network network staff.

1220
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:52,919
Speaker 4: Who are let's say, media missing the biz?

1221
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:58,000
Speaker 2: Who are they? We confused? Everybody media missing the bize?

1222
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:01,280
Speaker 2: You want to do it again? Real out medium is

1223
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:06,880
Speaker 2: in the biz? One two three? Media? I know mid

1224
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 2: is cool j Z. To be like very mid medium

1225
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 2: is so much funnier to be like they're a medium talent.

1226
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 2: It's like, oh Jesus, that's so harsh. Man swept out

1227
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 2: to Sea always a good start. Yeah, if you're ever

1228
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 2: bored in a bar, you don't know anybody at a party,

1229
01:06:24,200 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 2: you're the only person there. Your friends are running late,

1230
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 2: and somebody's like, hey, how are you, how's your week

1231
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 2: or whatever? Been like there was a man that was

1232
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 2: swept out to sea, Everybody'll be like, I'm listening to her.

1233
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:38,200
Speaker 2: She knows stuff. Another good tip, by the way Kurt

1234
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:41,919
Speaker 2: is to ask people are there any destination weddings they're

1235
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 2: going to this year that they don't want to go to.

1236
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 2: People go, yes, actually there is Virginia Beach, my cousin Monica,

1237
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 2: and you're like, here we go. Now we're friends. Man

1238
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:57,440
Speaker 2: swept out to sea survives eighteen hours by clinging to

1239
01:06:57,560 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 2: a soccer ball. What Wilson.

1240
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:06,640
Speaker 4: Give me this story?

1241
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,040
Speaker 2: Strong current swept a thirty year old man out to

1242
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 2: sea while he was on the beach on a beach vacation,

1243
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,720
Speaker 2: but reminiscent of the movie Castaway.

1244
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,960
Speaker 4: He now has a soccer ball to thank for survival.

1245
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 2: The Macedonian man spent eighteen hours holding onto a partially

1246
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 2: deflated leather soccer ball in the GNC before he was

1247
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:32,360
Speaker 2: rescued fifteen miles. What from where he began?

1248
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's far.

1249
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:38,800
Speaker 2: That is really far. Avis would charge you six thousand

1250
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:52,640
Speaker 2: dollars to go that far. That's a callback, baby, though,

1251
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 2: a good swimmer. Oh. This is also why the Good

1252
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 2: Newsnetwork staff dot org. This is why they our medium.

1253
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 2: This is just no last name. They just say, though

1254
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:07,720
Speaker 2: a good swimmer Ivan. So now we're learning his name, Ivan,

1255
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:11,640
Speaker 2: I first name. Though a good swimmer. Comma. Ivan was

1256
01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 2: growing tired when his luck changed. So he was out

1257
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,880
Speaker 2: there swimming by himself. Yes, sir, no ball, you got it,

1258
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:22,200
Speaker 2: and the rainbow colored soccer ball came floating towards.

1259
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 4: Him, like we see this is beautiful, all inclusive. Ball

1260
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:29,719
Speaker 4: comes over. That's right, Minneapolis, you're great about that. Gorgeous.

1261
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:34,160
Speaker 4: Everyone's welcome, including Ivan, but.

1262
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 2: Fully inflate your balls. When news broke about Ivan's real

1263
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 2: life Wilson style experience, a mother of a pair of

1264
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:50,360
Speaker 2: Greek children, so a mom with two Greek children. A

1265
01:08:50,479 --> 01:08:53,680
Speaker 2: Greek mom with two Greek children, somebody's Greek and they

1266
01:08:53,760 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 2: have kids. Yeah, reported that the colorful ball had ended

1267
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 2: up in the seat ten days earlier, while the boys

1268
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:08,000
Speaker 2: were playing football on the isle of Lemnos, eighty miles away.

1269
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:11,080
Speaker 2: Lemnos sounds fake.

1270
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:12,080
Speaker 4: Sound sounds like.

1271
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 2: It sounds like if I was like, Kurt, did you

1272
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:15,720
Speaker 2: vacation in Greece and you're like, got a stomach bug?

1273
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 2: It didn't go, And I'm like, where what islands? Did

1274
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:19,800
Speaker 2: you visiit? I was there. We go and I go,

1275
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 2: very cool.

1276
01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:23,720
Speaker 4: Interesting, I heard that I just kicking soccer balls in

1277
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:24,559
Speaker 4: the ocean all the time.

1278
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up by vacation? Punt? So saw fifteen miles

1279
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:34,120
Speaker 2: at sea, eighty miles away. The soccer ball goes and

1280
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 2: they meet in.

1281
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:36,920
Speaker 4: The Aegeans eighty miles away.

1282
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 2: Think about that for five seconds. Scene ivan was thankfully

1283
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 2: spotted by the Greek Air Force. A helicopter was involved

1284
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 2: with the search team and they pulled I know.

1285
01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:52,439
Speaker 4: A helicopter was involved.

1286
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:56,080
Speaker 2: Really, the Greek air Force. They weren't just boating on

1287
01:09:56,240 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 2: up there. We should be up there, sir, go kick

1288
01:10:01,479 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 2: this rainbow soccer ball.

1289
01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:06,679
Speaker 4: They flew upontoon plane on the water.

1290
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:12,680
Speaker 2: Those are the best. Those were the best. Okay, they

1291
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:16,479
Speaker 2: pulled from the water. They took him to the hospital. Yes,

1292
01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:22,559
Speaker 2: he has sensed recovered from this idea. Yeah, Wilson, it's

1293
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,400
Speaker 2: so funny. Everybody goes to Wilson. What an impactful character

1294
01:10:25,520 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 2: a volleyball that we're all like. Without Wilson, there is

1295
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:32,720
Speaker 2: no Castaway. That movie is just weird without Wilson. Just

1296
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:37,800
Speaker 2: gave me. So I had forgotten this story, completely blocked

1297
01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 2: this from my memory, which I don't know how many

1298
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:42,160
Speaker 2: times I have done that because I don't remember the

1299
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:46,080
Speaker 2: other ones. So I was a pretty good athlete growing up.

1300
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 2: But then in Maryland, they didn't offer volleyball for men.

1301
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 2: They didn't have boys or men's volleyball.

1302
01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:53,559
Speaker 4: Fuck, which is weird.

1303
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:56,840
Speaker 2: It was either basketball, wrestling, or I don't know what

1304
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:58,960
Speaker 2: else they did in the winter. But I loved volleyball

1305
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,360
Speaker 2: and I wanted to play indoor volleyball. So I heard

1306
01:11:01,439 --> 01:11:06,720
Speaker 2: about this is probably eighth grade or ninth grade, and

1307
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:08,760
Speaker 2: so I went from Catholic school to a huge public

1308
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:11,599
Speaker 2: high school in Baltimore that year. So I heard about

1309
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:16,760
Speaker 2: a cyo like a Catholic league co ed volleyball indoor team,

1310
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 2: and I was like, this sounds great, and they were like, hey,

1311
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:21,519
Speaker 2: we have eight teams. Every team plays every team twice

1312
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:24,240
Speaker 2: and then got two best records play for a little

1313
01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:26,840
Speaker 2: like final or whatever. And we had good players. We

1314
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:29,479
Speaker 2: had this woman named Jen who played on the high

1315
01:11:29,479 --> 01:11:32,200
Speaker 2: school I went to. She was very good, and we

1316
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,880
Speaker 2: were good. We won our first five games and it

1317
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:38,280
Speaker 2: was really fun. We had practices, but it felt really cool,

1318
01:11:38,640 --> 01:11:40,560
Speaker 2: and we would play other like Catholic schools, and it

1319
01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:44,639
Speaker 2: was really interesting because it would be like parents would come,

1320
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:47,439
Speaker 2: even though it wasn't really a real sport, but parents

1321
01:11:47,479 --> 01:11:49,080
Speaker 2: would be like, I love my child, I want them

1322
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:51,960
Speaker 2: to go to Syracuse or wherever they stay on these coasts.

1323
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:57,200
Speaker 2: So I get a ride with a friend though, whose

1324
01:11:57,280 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 2: parents took us, and we go to this Ursula went

1325
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:06,360
Speaker 2: to play Saint Ursula. And we go to this church

1326
01:12:06,439 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 2: which is already weird, and then we go to like

1327
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 2: the wreck room next to the church where normally I guess,

1328
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,000
Speaker 2: like corps, I don't know, chorus or choir or something

1329
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:17,080
Speaker 2: practices or something, and they were like, no, the game's

1330
01:12:17,120 --> 01:12:20,000
Speaker 2: going to be in that room. So for those who

1331
01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:25,400
Speaker 2: don't know, this place had a ten or eleven foot ceiling.

1332
01:12:25,560 --> 01:12:27,720
Speaker 2: That was a drop ceiling, so dropped top.

1333
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 4: So why would we know.

1334
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:33,439
Speaker 2: Those who didn't go.

1335
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,000
Speaker 4: If you didn't go to wreck room at Saint Ursula's

1336
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:43,200
Speaker 4: is like just filling everybody and so we're all in

1337
01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:43,760
Speaker 4: the same thing.

1338
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:48,800
Speaker 1: The ray Nursula is the Saint of eels, the saint

1339
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:50,720
Speaker 1: of not high ceilings.

1340
01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 2: A volleyball net is seven feet eleven and five eights inches.

1341
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:01,600
Speaker 4: Jesus, very specific, so specific.

1342
01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:03,720
Speaker 2: You wonder if the dude that made it up just

1343
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:05,960
Speaker 2: said this is right, and then they measured it and

1344
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,160
Speaker 2: they're like, shouldn't it be twelve feet?

1345
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:11,360
Speaker 1: He is like, fuck that shit, No, seven eleven five minutes.

1346
01:13:11,439 --> 01:13:13,920
Speaker 1: Did you want it to be twelve and you fucked up? No,

1347
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:20,360
Speaker 1: it's seven feet eleven five etes is right. This rec

1348
01:13:20,439 --> 01:13:28,599
Speaker 1: room fully carpeted. This rec room with ten or eleven

1349
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:30,880
Speaker 1: foot ceilings. So just to give you an idea, the

1350
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 1: table to the ground to the stage is how much

1351
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:36,360
Speaker 1: room we had to hit the volleyball.

1352
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,879
Speaker 2: No out of bounce. They just taped along the walls

1353
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:47,600
Speaker 2: and there are windows all along this wall. There's no

1354
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:49,760
Speaker 2: standing room for parents. The parents came in, you know,

1355
01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:51,560
Speaker 2: jackets on stuff and they're like, yeah, we want to

1356
01:13:51,600 --> 01:13:54,680
Speaker 2: see our children that we conceived them, or we raise them,

1357
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:57,519
Speaker 2: or we brushed their teeth and fed them for thirteen

1358
01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 2: to fifteen years. We want to see them play indoor volleyball.

1359
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:05,920
Speaker 2: A priest said no. That priest who introduced himself ended

1360
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 2: up being the referee of the game.

1361
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 4: Cool.

1362
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 2: So our best player was Jen, and she was so good.

1363
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:16,720
Speaker 2: She was so nervous that on the first serve, oh,

1364
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,479
Speaker 2: we weren't allowed to serve underhand. You were allowed in

1365
01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:21,679
Speaker 2: other places, but they knew you would just hit the ceiling.

1366
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,760
Speaker 2: So they were like, no underhand serves guys. So half

1367
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:26,040
Speaker 2: our team was like, we're fucked, We're done. Is over?

1368
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're thirteen to fifteen. There's not a lot who

1369
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,160
Speaker 4: are like SuperM.

1370
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:36,360
Speaker 2: Correct. I could easily have jumped and just touched the

1371
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:38,720
Speaker 2: ceiling every like here it is. So you played it

1372
01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:40,880
Speaker 2: twenty five and it was best two out of three games.

1373
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:44,360
Speaker 2: When here we go, Jen gets back there. Best player.

1374
01:14:44,439 --> 01:14:46,080
Speaker 2: We all have on knee pads, by the way, because

1375
01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:48,599
Speaker 2: we used to playing on hardwood floors like basketball floors,

1376
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:52,759
Speaker 2: so when you dive, you slide, but when a cloth

1377
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:58,160
Speaker 2: kneepad hits a rug you buckle. People are scorping and

1378
01:14:58,320 --> 01:15:02,599
Speaker 2: like bending and crying and getting rug burned all game.

1379
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 2: First player of the game, our best player, Jim, serves

1380
01:15:10,120 --> 01:15:12,400
Speaker 2: it hits a girl named Megan in the back of

1381
01:15:12,439 --> 01:15:15,800
Speaker 2: the head on our team so hard Megan bites her

1382
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:18,760
Speaker 2: own tongue and cries the entire game. First play of

1383
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:22,760
Speaker 2: the game, we played side out rules. Who are rally rules,

1384
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:25,720
Speaker 2: So one point for the other team for that. We're like,

1385
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:30,919
Speaker 2: come on, guys, they serve hit the roof dust falls instantly,

1386
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:34,840
Speaker 2: So now every time it hits, everybody turns away because

1387
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:40,879
Speaker 2: they're like, we're gonna get asbestos in our eyes. Bodies

1388
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:44,880
Speaker 2: are being broken and strewn upon the floor. Not unlike

1389
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:45,599
Speaker 2: Getty's Burg.

1390
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:47,799
Speaker 4: There's blood stains on this carpet.

1391
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 2: Not a person in that room wasn't bleeding or crime.

1392
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 2: Still Game one, parents who were not allowed in they

1393
01:15:57,840 --> 01:16:02,000
Speaker 2: had those three vertical rectangular win are banging their forearms

1394
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Speaker 2: saying like, let us in to this hellscape, honestly, and

1395
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,120
Speaker 2: so I'm like trying to rally a team. I'm like,

1396
01:16:11,200 --> 01:16:12,920
Speaker 2: come on, let's just get this shit over because we're

1397
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:17,719
Speaker 2: gonna be the best team. We're gonna win I'm pretty tall.

1398
01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:19,840
Speaker 2: There's another guy named Darren who's very tall. He's a

1399
01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:22,840
Speaker 2: very nice guy. So it goes back and forth. I

1400
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:25,920
Speaker 2: would say the score was something like thirteen to seven

1401
01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:29,120
Speaker 2: at this point, and everybody is having a mental breakdown

1402
01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,080
Speaker 2: and the other team serves it to the back row.

1403
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:34,960
Speaker 4: I don't know how they got it under just runs across.

1404
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:38,800
Speaker 2: The drop ceiling. Somebody bumps it. I said it. A

1405
01:16:38,880 --> 01:16:40,519
Speaker 2: bump in a set is very common in.

1406
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 1: Classic It's a CLASSS one two punch Classic VBA followed

1407
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:46,120
Speaker 1: by a spike.

1408
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:51,880
Speaker 2: This is how you win at volleyball. So I get

1409
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:55,120
Speaker 2: down on one knee and probably tear my acl the

1410
01:16:55,360 --> 01:17:03,160
Speaker 2: on the burnt orangetain carpet it. When do you remember

1411
01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:07,880
Speaker 2: the first time you saw an adult cuss, like like

1412
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:10,600
Speaker 2: I'm not your mom or something like I grew up

1413
01:17:10,600 --> 01:17:11,120
Speaker 2: in Jersey.

1414
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:12,960
Speaker 4: Everyone's just like, go fuck yourself.

1415
01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:18,080
Speaker 2: That is true. That is true.

1416
01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:21,160
Speaker 4: It's like what do you want on your fucking subu

1417
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:27,879
Speaker 4: pieces of shit, shrip toastal.

1418
01:17:33,439 --> 01:17:36,200
Speaker 2: I remember my first time seeing a grown adult cuss

1419
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:38,679
Speaker 2: besides my parents being like ouch or shit or whatever.

1420
01:17:39,640 --> 01:17:44,000
Speaker 2: It's when I set that ball and it hit the

1421
01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:53,760
Speaker 2: drop ceiling. And Darren midair armback. The ceiling dislodges and

1422
01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:57,800
Speaker 2: starts the tile, but Darren's already swinging his arm. The

1423
01:17:57,880 --> 01:18:02,040
Speaker 2: ball's already down here on Darren, and so he can't stop,

1424
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,040
Speaker 2: but he tries to, and so his arm hits the

1425
01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 2: tile directly into his lip, which just bursts into blood

1426
01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:13,640
Speaker 2: and just dust bunnies into breathe. There's live wires, and

1427
01:18:13,760 --> 01:18:16,479
Speaker 2: so I'm on the ground setting it. So I turn

1428
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:21,599
Speaker 2: like this and seeing the priest referee go oh fuck.

1429
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:33,040
Speaker 2: The parents storman, they called the game, and the entire

1430
01:18:33,240 --> 01:18:36,439
Speaker 2: league got disbanded. We never played another game.

1431
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:38,679
Speaker 9: Oh fuck.

1432
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:43,640
Speaker 4: And that is Banana Bananas.

1433
01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:49,320
Speaker 2: Thank you, guys, Thank you so much. Guys.

1434
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:53,439
Speaker 4: We'll be out there selling some merch, taking some picks.

1435
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:58,160
Speaker 4: Come say, guy, let's all do this before we leave.

1436
01:18:58,360 --> 01:18:59,720
Speaker 4: Everybody yell Bananas.

1437
01:19:01,920 --> 01:19:17,200
Speaker 2: Toy Bananas is an exactly right media production.

1438
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:19,559
Speaker 4: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

1439
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:23,240
Speaker 2: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Khan.

1440
01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:26,880
Speaker 4: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and.

1441
01:19:26,960 --> 01:19:30,000
Speaker 2: Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia

1442
01:19:30,080 --> 01:19:30,559
Speaker 2: Hartstart

1443
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:33,920
Speaker 4: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.