1 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: That is The Jesse Kelly Show. And I'll be frank 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: with you, this is one of those moments. I'm at 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 1: a crisis moment because it's the final hour the Jesse 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,320 Speaker 1: Kelly Show, and I have a lot of things I 5 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,159 Speaker 1: want to get to and I feel like I'm going 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: to rush something in order to do it. So we're 7 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: just gonna take it step by step. I need to 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: address the whole thereafter your kids thing and how we 9 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: have to be more diligent. I mean, I'm looking at 10 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: a headline right here, Planned Parenthood. They're getting a mobile 11 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 1: clinic that'll take abortions to red state borders. That's horrible, 12 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: all right. I have to get to your phone calls 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: about what your phobias are. Weird ones are ones you're 14 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,839 Speaker 1: ashamed of? Eight seven seven three seven seven four three 15 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: seven three. I have emails to get to. I have 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: this list of phobias Chris put in front of me, 17 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: and it's sad, hilarious, and I think half these are lies. 18 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: I have it really important things to do, all right, 19 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: But gonna begin with the one I'm I'm I'm a 20 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: little bit embarrassed about. I'll put it to you that way. 21 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 1: I've really only ever had two. I don't know if 22 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,960 Speaker 1: I would call them phobias. One definitely was. One was heights. 23 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: I say was because the Marine Corps basically beats that 24 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: out of you. I mean, you're they had you repelling 25 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 1: down cliffs without a safety harness on in the right 26 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: You can't. You just have to find a way to 27 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: overcome it, or you're not gonna make it now. I 28 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: still don't love heights, but I'm not standing on the 29 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: edge of a cliff peeing my pants, so I would 30 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: say that. But there is one that I still do 31 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: not like, and I find it kind of embarrassing. It's 32 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm not scared of flying your boats or cars, or 33 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: spiders or snakes or none of that stuff. I don't 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: like being in super tight, closed spaces. I really do not. 35 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: When I was work in construction, you remember I've worked 36 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: come from a construction family. We were putting in a 37 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: sewer line, if I remember, right, sewer line. Yeah, it 38 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: was a sewer line. It was a California job. Remember 39 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,079 Speaker 1: we did construction projects wherever. The work was all over 40 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: the country, Montana, Arizona, California, all these places. We're putting 41 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: in a big sewer line up there, and I was 42 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: always down in the ditch. I mean I didn't have experience, 43 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: and I was the low man on the totem poles, 44 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,959 Speaker 1: so whatever the crappy jobs were, that's where I was. 45 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: So I was way down on the ditch. And some 46 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: of those ditches can get real deep. I mean you're 47 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: down there. Shoot. I think this one in particular was 48 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: thirty feet deep, so you're down deep. And the pipe 49 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: we were putting in was I believe it was forty 50 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: eight inches. Chris, that's four feet right, yeah, forty eight 51 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: It was forty eight inch pipe, So that's big. But 52 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: do keep in mind, for the purpose of our story, 53 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: I'm six foot eight. You have to have the pipe 54 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: on a specific grade. It has to be exact. So 55 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: how this has done a lot out there now is 56 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: there's a laser. You take a little laser and you 57 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: put it in the bottom of the pipe you've already laid, 58 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: and then you keep attaching new sticks to the pipe, 59 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: and you have a target you put on the end 60 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: of the pipe and the laser will shoot it. It'll 61 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: tell you if you're on Great. Does that make sense, Chris, 62 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: You're stupid. But if that made sense, to you, it 63 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: should make sense to everyone else, all right, And so 64 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: it made sense to Chris. But you can only go 65 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: so far, and then your laser's getting really far back 66 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: there in this really dark pipe. And again it's a pipe. 67 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: There's no breeze blowing through, it's a pipe. Somebody has 68 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: to go back two hundred feet, three hundred feet, four 69 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: hundred feet back into the pipe to retrieve the laser. What, Chris, 70 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: everything I was, Andy Dufrayne. Quit making me laugh, Chris, 71 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: we're making a serious point. But yes, I did. Actually 72 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: I imagine that in my mind. So obviously, being the 73 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: low man on the totem pool, that job often fail 74 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: to me. You're on a construction crew. Instruction cruise are 75 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: rough round, rough dudes, and my father was the superintendent 76 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: ended up being the owner. So and my dad would 77 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: want people to crush me if I was a woos. 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: There's no chance I could ever do anything that would 79 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,799 Speaker 1: have somebody call my dad and say, your son's a wheenie. 80 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: I just I would rather die. I'd rather go in 81 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: the pipe and die. So you don't have an option 82 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: of saying I'm too scared. You don't even have an 83 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: option of asking scared. Hey, Kelly, get up there, get 84 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: the laser. I would have to do this, and I 85 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: would be five feet into this tunnel and I'm basically 86 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: crab walking slash crawling when your thighs burn out and 87 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 1: my heart is pounding out of my chest and this 88 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: whole thing and it's dark, and like I said, it's warm, 89 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: so there's no breeze. And I was always instilled to 90 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: this day and embarrassed by that. If I get in 91 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: something where my shoulders are closed in or a closet 92 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: or something, I don't like it. And I don't know why, 93 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: Like I can't describe for you why, but I don't 94 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: like it. Chris. Yeah, you see you say you don't 95 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: want to be crushed. That would make sense except I 96 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: was as safe. I mean I I was safe in 97 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: that pipe than I would be at home in bed. 98 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: You have bedding all around you. The pipe itself's not 99 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: going to collapse. There's no crushing going to happen. The 100 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: pipe's not going anywhere. And I knew that, So the 101 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: fear doesn't make sense. I can't help myself, all right, 102 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: what are your weird phobias? Dave in Wyoming, go, oh, 103 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: my god, brother, there is no reason on God green 104 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: Earth to have ticks like t I c ks, I hunt, 105 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: I fish, and I cannot stand those tritters. I don't 106 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: know if it's a phobia as much as I just 107 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: can't stand them. But those things will wake me up 108 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: out of a dead sleep if I feel one crawling 109 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: on me. Oh, people who have never experienced, People who 110 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: don't do a lot of time outdoors. You know, I 111 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: did a lot of hunting and stuff like that, they 112 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: don't know about ticks man ticks. So we used to 113 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: have to pick ticks. We used to have Airdale dogs 114 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: when I was in Ohio, and that we'd have to 115 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: pick the ticks out of them. Say, we're outside dogs 116 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 1: and these tiny little ticks that blow up like a dime, 117 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: maybe the size of the dime, just a fat little 118 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: blood sack sitting there, and you'd have to burn them off. Gosh, 119 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: that gives me the heebie jeebes. Keith Idaho, what are 120 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: you afraid of? Two places? I hate to go, and 121 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: the dentist is both of them. You know that's not 122 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,679 Speaker 1: an unreasonable phobia. Though I'm not afraid of the dentist, 123 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 1: but I get you're stuck there you're basically in a 124 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: torture bed and somebody's drilling things in your mouth and 125 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: sticking pieces of metal in your mouth. That's a lot 126 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: of stuff in your mouth. I just I don't know 127 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 1: about Yeah, I don't. I don't know about Johnny and 128 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: Jersey Go. For the life of me, I don't know 129 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: what it is. I can't really stand white sauces like 130 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: Alfredo or white ricotta cheese, and and well, maybe that's 131 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: because ricotta cheese is disgusting. I don't know who you 132 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 1: people are that are continuing the ricotta cheese industry. But 133 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: cheese is so delicious and yummy. And then there's this 134 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: mushy filth Carrie in Colorado. What are you afraid of 135 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: frogs and toads? Why? And just gross? I can I 136 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: can handle fighters and bugs and all that, but not 137 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: a frog and not a toad. Yeah. I used to 138 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: go run around outside and catch frogs and toads and 139 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: stuff like that all the time when I was a kid. 140 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: And I will tell you, I mean, I don't have 141 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: a phobia for them. I did not enjoy the fact 142 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: that they pee on you all the time. I didn't 143 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: like coming home and having to explain to my mom 144 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: that I was covered in frog pee Smith and Saint 145 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: Louis go. Smith is gone. He's no longer with us. No, 146 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I hope he's alive. Michelle and Texas goum 147 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: defeat feats. I don't know why. But I couldn't even 148 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: rub my husband's feet. Yeah, I would get picked. You know, 149 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: that's understandable, feet or gross. One of the things you 150 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: don't realize is how much people consider her feet to 151 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: be really really really disgustingly gross. And throughout history feet 152 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: were really really gross. I mean, you do walk on them, right. 153 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: The wife won't allow people to wear shoes in the house, 154 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: and that's something I generally didn't do, so it wasn't 155 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: a hard adjustment for me. But every now and then 156 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: I'd simply walk in with my boots or shoes, walk 157 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: into the kitchen, get a drink or something. And she 158 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: did explain, and she's pretty correct on this. You stand 159 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: in pee, when you go to the bathroom, you're walking 160 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 1: through someone's spit down the sidewalk. You know what this 161 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: is getting gross? Eight seven seven three seven seven four 162 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: three seven three. We'll get to more of these in 163 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: just a moment, Let's get to a couple emals. First, 164 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: dear fan of Friedo Bandido, I'm not concerned whatsoever if 165 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 1: you were rude to the guy you gave a burg 166 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: er two. I just can't understand why a man as 167 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: smart as you cooks the famous Jesse Kelly burger one 168 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 1: at a time. I have always wished I was your neighbor. 169 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: But anyone can do at least six burgers at a time. 170 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm not going to wait in line. Does his name 171 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: is Daryl? Okay? I feel like I feel like I've 172 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: been pretty adamant about this point before, but I do 173 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: lose focus about the fact. My mentor, Michael Berry tells me, 174 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: always keep in mind your audience grows every day, and 175 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: most of your audience hasn't heard many of the things 176 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: you have to say. Why would I cook Jesse Kelly 177 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: burgers one at a time? The world famous Jesse Kelly 178 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: burgers will talk about that and great white sharks in 179 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: your phobias. Next, Oh God on Nadim, Holy side on me. 180 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly. You're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. It 181 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: is the Jesse Kelly Show. Remember if you missed any 182 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: part of the show. You can catch the whole thing 183 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: on iHeart, Google, Spotify and iTunes. On iTunes, don't forget 184 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 1: to leave a five star rating and subscribe and then 185 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: leave a review talking about how handsome I am. That's 186 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: the most important part. You know. We talk a lot 187 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: about how communism is a religion, and I'm gonna get 188 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: back to these phobias and things like that in a 189 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 1: couple of minutes. But we talk about how communism is 190 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: a religion and man alive these people. There's an op 191 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: ed in the La Times, how juvenile white sharks those 192 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: are great white sharks in search of warmer waters disrupt 193 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 1: life off the California coast. It goes on to talk 194 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: about how great white sharks are eating everything off of 195 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: their specifically things like otters and whatnot. Wrap your mind 196 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: around how truly deranged you have to be to think 197 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: a great white shark eating an otter is somehow a 198 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: reinforcement of the nut job worldview you have that these 199 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 1: people are mad. That's one two. I do think it's 200 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: important because we tackle the heavy issues on this show. 201 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 1: I think it's important we need to talk about how 202 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: God made otters, and I believe me, Lord, please don't 203 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: strike me down. I'm certainly not questioning your plan, father. 204 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:27,319 Speaker 1: But the otter. You've seen the otter, right, the otter. 205 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 1: He lays on his back in the ocean, munching on 206 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: nuts or whatever, oysters or whatever it is they managed 207 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,559 Speaker 1: to dive down and get. Now we're talking about phobias 208 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 1: a bit tonight, just because it's fun and it makes 209 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: me laugh. I'm not scared of the ocean. I love 210 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: the ocean. I love the snorkel, love the snorkel. Dive 211 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 1: in that water. I'll dive down. I've scuba dived a 212 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 1: few times. I live and die for the ocean. I 213 00:11:55,600 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: don't spend a ton of time on my back looking 214 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: up at the sky. And if I was a freaking 215 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: sea otter, they got eaten routinely from down below. I 216 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: don't think I would ever lay on my back to eat. 217 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,319 Speaker 1: And do keep in mind they're eating and this is 218 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: an animal that can exist on land. You're telling me 219 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: you can't take the oyster and swim to where there 220 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: aren't great white sharks to consume your oyster. You know what, 221 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: Screw the otters. I'm glad the great white sharks are 222 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: eating them all. What Chris, they're endangered. No wonder they're endangered. 223 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: They're stupid. If you're sitting above a bunch of great 224 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: white sharks swimming below you, and you choose to roll 225 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 1: on over to your back and just pull a joy 226 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: Bay horror in the ocean while you stuff your face, 227 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 1: you deserve to be eaten. I don't have any sympathy 228 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 1: at all. You know it doesn't do that, sea otters, losers. 229 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: Shrimp shrimp would what Chris. Shrimp would never do that, 230 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: and definitely not the shrimp at Bloxei Shrimpco. Because American shrimpers, 231 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: in American shrimp boats, they go out and get that shrimp, 232 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,199 Speaker 1: then they sell it to you at great prices, and 233 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: they mail it to your front door. Ninety five percent 234 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: that's the percentage of shrimp in this country that has 235 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: bought and consumed from other nations, almost all of them 236 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: hostile communist nations. I can't imagine how much shrimp I've 237 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: bought in my life, and I funded communism with it 238 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: from countries that hate us. Biloxi Shrimpco right here in America. 239 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 1: Great family, great people, American shrimpers, American jobs, and a 240 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: lot fresh or shrimp obviously because it's coming from fricking 241 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: Mississippi instead of Vietnam. Go to Biloxi Shrimpco dot com 242 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: promo code Jesse gets your ten percent off the entire order. 243 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 1: Biloxi Shrimpcode dot com promo code Jesse, Mike, what are 244 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:05,320 Speaker 1: you afraid of? I am absolutely terrified of creepy kids, 245 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: popery kid, the kids, all of them. I mean, I've 246 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,680 Speaker 1: never condoned hitting a child, but when they're creepy like that, now, baby, 247 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: you know, you know I was. My parents wouldn't let 248 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: me watch rated R movies when I was a kid. 249 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: A bunch of squares. That's one hundred percent the right 250 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: thing to do. But and so, as a kid, when 251 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: your parents won't let you watch rated R movies, you 252 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 1: naturally make friends with the kid in school whose parents 253 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: sucked and let him watch whatever you wanted. That way, 254 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: you could go over to his house and you guys 255 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: could hang out and you could watch rated OUR movies 256 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: and finally find out what all the blood looks like 257 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: in Rambo and everything like that. I did that one time, 258 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 1: and my buddy dials up Children of the Corn speaking 259 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: as scary kids, and I thought to myself, what a 260 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: student and I was a kid. I thought, what a 261 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: stupid concept. Who's scared of kids? And then I watched 262 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: this movie where they're taking these pitch for and they're 263 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: stabbing adults. I haven't been right since, you know what, 264 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: I'm might go home and give my kid, my own 265 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: kids up from adoption tomorrow, Isaiah, Virginia. Go So, I'm 266 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: twenty years old, granted, but I am definitely afraid of heights. 267 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: And I learned this quite easily on a hot air 268 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: balloon ride, and you know, those things go pretty high. 269 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: I will be the one to grab onto anything that 270 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 1: I can find, because I would be so scared of 271 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: going over and dying. It will they will literally be 272 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: damage to the hot air pol You know, I do 273 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 1: have to say this, Isaiah. I shouldn't have cut him off, 274 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: because now I'm gonna drag the poor man and it's 275 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 1: not fair to him. But oh well, life's not fair. 276 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 1: If you're scared of heights. Where where did you think 277 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: the hot air balloon was gonna go? Did you think 278 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: you were going to get in the hot air balloon 279 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: and it was gonna tunnel underneath the earth? What? Chris? 280 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: Oh no, Chris, that wasn't therapy. We were on a 281 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: boat one time. We were out I believe it was 282 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: right down here in Galveston Bay and it was one 283 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 1: of those horrible tour boat type things. We're out on 284 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: a boat one time, and it was this big group, right, 285 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: and so you have all these people you don't know, 286 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: and I'll never forget it. There's this lady on the 287 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: boat and she is she has a life jacket on, 288 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: and she is white knuckling her husband and white knuckling 289 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: part of the boat. And every time we'd hit a 290 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: wave on this little thing, she would let out little 291 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: little that's uh, you know, it kind of sounded like 292 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: every single time she'd grab a hole. So we'd hit 293 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: a wave and it would be and then and then 294 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: she would she would say things like can we go back? 295 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: Can we go back? And it turns out she's not 296 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: only deathly afraid of the ocean, she's deathly afraid of 297 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: all water and she can't swim. So what what kind 298 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: of a tour of Galveston Bay on a boat? What 299 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: did you think the tour was gonna consist of? Exactly? 300 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: Did you think there were gonna be no no water involved? 301 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: I mean, look, If that's how you feel, fine, moved 302 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: to Nebraska and you know what, better yet, moved to 303 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: twenty nine Palms, California. Take it from me. There's no 304 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 1: water there, none, absolutely none. It's just the worst hell 305 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: hole on the planet. Eight seven seven three seven seven 306 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: four three seven three. Sean and Spokane go band aids 307 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,440 Speaker 1: and glitter, and I don't care if the bandaids have 308 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: been used or not. Hold on, hold on, you're scared 309 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: of new band aids? Why? I don't know. They creeped 310 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: me out and one nothing to do with them. What 311 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 1: what do you think the band aids are gonna do 312 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: to you? Sean? I don't know. God, you never know. 313 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 1: Eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three. 314 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: When a Trump's top men came out and was blasting 315 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 1: some of the weaklings that that were around Trump, I 316 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: think it's fair and I think it's unfair. I've I've 317 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 1: done that before to trash some of Trump's hires. Again, 318 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: I think that's fair and unfair. I will explain what 319 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 1: I mean in just a moment and we'll get to morphobious. 320 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:22,959 Speaker 1: Hang on, it is the Jesse Kelly Show. Remember you 321 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 1: can email the show Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show dot Com. 322 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: On occasion, we try to do some self help things 323 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,239 Speaker 1: in between politics and art sounds and things like that. 324 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 1: So look, I think fellas, we all need to learn 325 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: how to buck up every now and then and become 326 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: more of a man. Right So when I need guidance 327 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: on being a man, I go to rereadboral butt gig. Chris, 328 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: could you play the reaboral buck gig thing? It's not working. 329 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: I mean, my sense of manhood is not connected to 330 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline or whether it's 331 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: fueled by electricity. This is a practical man. This is 332 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 1: a guy who just got off maternity leave. I think 333 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: we need to take him at his word. All right now, 334 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: I'm not going to spend too long on this because 335 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: I'm having too much fun with the phobia thing, and 336 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 1: it's my show and I could do whatever I want. 337 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: But one of Trump's top guys, he was the White 338 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 1: House Presidential Personnel Office, he was the director of that, 339 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,880 Speaker 1: John McEntee. He gave an interview on bright Bart News 340 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: Daily about Trump's political pointees and he said so many 341 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: of them were weak and they broke under pressure when 342 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,160 Speaker 1: the media would would pressure them, and then they would 343 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: give Trump bad advice. Now I personally, as you know, 344 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: I like Trump. I think it was a great president. 345 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: I hate how he handled COVID, but I like Trump. 346 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: But you also know I've criticized his personnel choices were 347 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: nothing short of embarrassing, and that's a fair criticism if 348 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: that's your criticism. But that is a fair criticism. But 349 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 1: I will actually defend him on the criticism I've levied 350 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: at him, which probably doesn't make sense, but I will 351 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 1: defend him on this because I've had friends of mine, 352 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: we've talked about this before, and they've told me Jesse, Yeah, 353 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,199 Speaker 1: his appointees were all terrible, but where's he supposed to 354 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: pick them from? Where are the ones that aren't terrible? 355 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,879 Speaker 1: And it's a fair point. I mean, he goes on 356 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: to say in this article, Trump would pick people who 357 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 1: were all about his America first agenda. The agenda you love, 358 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: the agenda I love. But the second the DC media, 359 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,400 Speaker 1: the national media turned up the heat. They couldn't break 360 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: fast enough, they couldn't cave fast enough, and then Trump 361 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: would end up caving along with them. So if it's 362 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: going to be Donald Trump again and he's the likely nominee. 363 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 1: You know, I want everyone to get in, but even 364 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 1: then it's probably gonna be Trump. He's the most popular 365 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 1: Republican in the country. Fine, if we're going to get round, too, 366 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: fine for me. Where are we going to find them 367 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: next time? It's something I hope the Trump team is 368 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: already digging into where are we going to find people 369 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: next time? Because listen, even as a Republican, it's a 370 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: great resume builder to be White House Chief of Staff, 371 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: this person in the White House, the White House Comm's team. 372 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 1: When you walk out of a position that prestigious. No, 373 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 1: you don't get to walk into Harvard, CNN and MSNBC 374 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,400 Speaker 1: and everywhere else like the Democrats do. But you're going 375 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: to have a job for life. How many people who 376 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 1: were even loosely associated with Reagan had careers for life 377 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: out of that. I accidentally bumped in to Ronald Reagan 378 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: once when I was twelve. Hire me and that would 379 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 1: still give out jobs. We need true believers. Again, that's 380 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 1: to their credit. The Communists hire true believers. We do not. 381 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: We hire a bunch of low tea weaklings, and we 382 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: wonder why we get screwed over by our people every time. 383 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 1: All right, Before I get to your phobias, I have 384 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: to go down this list Chris printed for me, because 385 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: some of these are total crap. Some of these are 386 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: not real. Someone knows, Chris. Someone made some of these up, 387 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 1: like this one. Angro phobia, fear of anger. Okay, that's 388 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: not real. That's that's somebody with too much time on 389 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: their hands. This one. There's no way I'm gonna be 390 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 1: able to pronounce most of these. Araka buddy phobia or 391 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: something like that. Fear of peanut butter. I'll to up yours. 392 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: That's not real. Astrophobia, fear of outer space. Do you 393 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: think that's something you're just gonna trip and fall into? 394 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 1: What does that even mean? Fear of outer space? Barophobia, 395 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 1: fear of gravity. I'll come on. Chroma Oh I felt, Chris, 396 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 1: I found one. You're infected with. Chromoto chromatophobia. Fear of 397 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: spending money, that's right up your alley. Coolophobia, fear of clowns. 398 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,719 Speaker 1: That one's legitimate. What at one point in human history 399 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 1: did we think dressing up a grown man with all 400 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: kinds of makeup and fake years and things like that, 401 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,680 Speaker 1: and having him perform for little kids. At what point 402 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 1: do we think that was like smart. I don't know 403 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: if you've seen that actually leads me to this. I 404 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 1: don't know if you've seen the newest Project Veritas video, 405 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: but there's a teacher sitting down and he of course 406 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: exposes himself as a communist who hate you and your kids. 407 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: This is a little of it. I'm not going to 408 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 1: play a bunch because the audio isn't great. It's seventeen 409 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 1: Chris address me. I want to like burn down the 410 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: entire season. I have a rather large TikTok following. I'm 411 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: an a forty figure, so I'm going to give out 412 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,520 Speaker 1: a Christmas message of like, hey, if your parents will 413 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 1: love and Supportune for who you are this Christmas year, 414 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 1: then I'm your parents now, I love you. Drink some water, 415 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,639 Speaker 1: proud of me. Okay, we're not going to bother addressing 416 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 1: that particular part of it, but I will. I will 417 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 1: address this part of it. If you see the video 418 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: of this person, and it's not hard to find, if 419 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: you're anywhere online, you see the video of this person, 420 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 1: it's a dude. It's a dude with his hair dyed green. 421 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: His fingernails are painted, he's got piercings all over himself, 422 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: tattoos up and down. Not that I'm anything against tattoos, 423 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: but it's it's he's sitting there looking like, I mean, 424 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 1: a cardboard cutout of any communist turbo freak. And my 425 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:27,959 Speaker 1: question is this, If you're a parent, you're dropping your 426 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: kids off with the teacher, what exactly do you think 427 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:37,120 Speaker 1: that teacher's intentions are? Why do you think that person 428 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: sought out the teaching professor? Do you think a young 429 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 1: man in his thirties with green hair and painted fingernails 430 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 1: and piercings all through his face, do you think he 431 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,679 Speaker 1: went and got his degree to teach your kids just 432 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 1: so little Aiden can learn math. He's there for a reason, 433 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 1: and it's not to teach him math. As a parent, 434 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: how does that not go through your head and set 435 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: aside it? Oh Judge, Why I find Judge to be 436 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: extremely beneficial when it comes to my kids. No, Actually, 437 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: that's one too many piercings and your fingernails are painted, 438 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: and you're a dude. I think I'll be having someone 439 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,199 Speaker 1: else watch over my son. We've got to be a 440 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: little better about that, all right. More phobias, you're going 441 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,439 Speaker 1: to say, Matt Magariophobia I'm just gonna start making up 442 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,880 Speaker 1: these names. Fear of cooking. I guess my mom had 443 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 1: that octophobia, fear of the figure eight. Okay, that's again. 444 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: That's another one that's completely made up. That's that's not 445 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:33,400 Speaker 1: real at all. Zooger phobia, fear of vacuum cleaners. That's 446 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: a feminist one, apparently that there are lots of these. 447 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: All right, you're phobias, Greg in Ohio go padded toilet seats, 448 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: padded toilets. Okay, I know what you're talking about. Is 449 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:54,439 Speaker 1: this a germ thing? The old days, it's not so 450 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: much a germ thing. The first time I said now 451 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 1: I wanted to take a dump, I felt it squishing 452 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 1: up around on my backside, and it just sent a 453 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 1: shiver up my spine. It just did not feel right. 454 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: I will tell you something. Look, I hate to back 455 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 1: the man up. I've got a little bit of a 456 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,879 Speaker 1: different version of this. I hate to back the man up. 457 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: But when I was a kid, we go see my 458 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 1: cousins sometimes. One of my aunts, aunt and uncle, they 459 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 1: had some padded toilet seats in their house, and the 460 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:33,399 Speaker 1: padded toilet seats were getting older. Now again, a dude 461 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: requires an oval toilet anyway, ladies, you wouldn't understand there's 462 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,360 Speaker 1: not enough fricking room for everything in a round toilet seat. 463 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: But setting that aside, the padded toilet seats were getting 464 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: older and they had developed cracks in them. And I'll look, 465 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 1: I still remember this, and I was a child sitting 466 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: down on the toilet seat and it pinching me in 467 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: the rear end. There was like I was a boy 468 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: scout visiting Joe Biden. Just boom, pinch in the rear end. 469 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: Out of nowhere. It was wild. All right, we're gonna 470 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: get to a couple more of these than we're gonna 471 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: get to headlines they didn't get to, and then we're 472 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: gonna get out of here, and we'd probably be kicked 473 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: off here by tomorrow. But it's been fun. Before we 474 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 1: do that, it'd probably be better if you don't starve 475 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:19,120 Speaker 1: to death headline Biden's growing food Crisis. It goes on 476 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: to describe how food is getting more and more scarce 477 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 1: and more and more expensive. So that's great news. Do 478 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: you already have your emergency three month food kit from 479 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: my Patriot supply? The time to have that is now, 480 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: not when you show up at the grocery store and 481 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: the shelves are empty, or they flat out close the place. 482 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 1: Every person, every single one, adult and child, everyone needs 483 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,199 Speaker 1: a three month supply of food. My Patriot Supply has 484 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: been doing this a long time. That's why they have 485 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 1: so many five star reviews. They have a three month 486 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 1: food kit ready to go for you. They have partnered 487 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: with the show. They have them one hundred and fifty 488 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: dollars off or no, I'm sorry, two hundred and fifty 489 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 1: dollars off from my listeners. You have to go to 490 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,880 Speaker 1: Prepare with Jesse Kelly dot com. That gets you two 491 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 1: hundred fifty dollars off every kit. Everyone in your home 492 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:22,120 Speaker 1: needs one. Prepare with Jesse Kelly dot com. We'll be back. 493 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Oracle. Love this one, Hey, screen Baby, 494 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:36,880 Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelly Show. It is The Jesse's Kelly Show. 495 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: Final segment of The Jesse Kelly Show. Don't worry, We'll 496 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: be right back here tomorrow. I won't drop another Hey, 497 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm leaving for the week thing. It's not gonna happen again. 498 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: It was just like that was a one off. Okay, 499 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 1: a one off. You can email me your love, your hate, 500 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 1: your death threats at Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com. 501 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com. Now, so before 502 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: we get to a couple morphobia's headlines, I didn't get to. 503 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: I do want to talk about something real quick here. 504 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: As things get worse at a national level with our institutions, 505 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: there aren't a ton of ways for you and me 506 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 1: to fight back because it's too big, or we're dealing 507 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: with people beyond us. How are you? How are you 508 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: supposed to snap your fingers and change the government or 509 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,800 Speaker 1: change the CDC or the FBI or something like that. 510 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 1: You don't have that power. I don't have that power. 511 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: I mean I should be as the showgun, but I 512 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: don't have that power. Well, it involves all of us 513 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: doing little things, and that sucks. I'll be honest with you. 514 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 1: I hate that. I don't want to do little things. One, 515 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: little things are boring. Two doesn't feel like you're doing anything. 516 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to do little things. I want to 517 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: do big things. Well, you can't do big things, neither 518 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: can I. Little things where you spend and don't spend 519 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 1: your money is a cry ritical part of where we 520 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 1: can fight back and how we can fight back. We 521 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: talk all the time about ESG and d EI and 522 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: all these things and putting your money where your morals are. 523 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 1: Maybe the easiest way to stop funding people who hate 524 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: you and start funding people who love you is switching 525 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: to Pure Talk. You're gonna save a ton of money. 526 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 1: You don't even have to give up your phone or 527 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 1: your phone number, or you can get a brand new 528 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: phone if you want brand new phone number. You lose 529 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: nothing when you switch to pure talk and gain everything. 530 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 1: You should not be funding Verizon or AT and t 531 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:43,959 Speaker 1: R T Mobile from your cell phone. Dial pound two 532 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: five zero and say Jesse Kelly, and you'll save an 533 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,240 Speaker 1: additional fifty percent off your first month. Average family saves 534 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 1: over nine hundred dollars a year when I switch from 535 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 1: T Mobile to Pure Talk, my bill got cut in half. 536 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: Dial pound two five zero, say Jesse Kelly. All right, 537 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 1: Corey in Colorado, what are you afraid of a long 538 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: flight next to a crying baby in a seat that 539 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: does not recline. That is a perfectly valid fear, as 540 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: someone who was six foot eight, flights have gotten worse. 541 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: I don't know whether the planes have gotten smaller. Joaquin 542 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania, go Jesse Kelly, I actually have two. One 543 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 1: of them is I'm afraid that one of these conservative 544 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: radio show hosts who was sponsored by Shock is actually 545 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: going to follow through and mailed one of these Democratic communists. 546 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: Estrogenied people are shot to superchwards them to destroy our country. 547 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: But you know, back when I was in my late twenties, 548 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 1: I started having panic attacks that were like they felt 549 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: like heart attacks. And I remember hearing about how Elvis 550 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: Presley died on the toilet bowl with his pants around 551 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 1: his ankles. And my phobia was actually having a heart 552 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: attack while I'm sitting on the ball my pants around 553 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: the ankles and being found like that. It's so funny 554 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: he brought that up because this happened to me. No, no, no, 555 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 1: let me explain. Let me explain before I get to headlines. 556 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 1: I didn't get to have to tell you this story. 557 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: I'm I'm out with some buddies. We are not out 558 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: partying or anything like that. We'd gone we were out 559 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: shooting prairie dogs, actually, and we'd had a long day. 560 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 1: I'm guessing I was dehydrated, whatever the case may be. 561 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: But we're all gathering back at their house that night. 562 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: I think it was fifteen, sixteen years old, and we 563 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 1: all gathered back at their house. We eat dinner, and 564 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: maybe I was sick. I bet I had the flu 565 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: or something. But on my life, like we weren't doing 566 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 1: anything wrong, we weren't doing anything bad. I felt so 567 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: light headed, but okay, you know what I'm gonna I'm 568 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: gonna go. I'm gonna go use the restroom. So I 569 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: go to the restroom, and don't worry this is I'm 570 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: gonna be gross or anything. I just had to go 571 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,240 Speaker 1: number one, right. I lift up the toilet seat, stand 572 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: up and get ready to go pee. Man, everything, I 573 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: start seeing stars and everything's going back and forth, and 574 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: I think what is wrong with me? Like I don't 575 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 1: know what's wrong. These weren't locked. I don't know what's wrong. 576 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 1: So I hurry, Like I can feel something going wrong, 577 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: and I've never felt this before, so I hurry. I 578 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: put the seatback down, and my pants are now down 579 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 1: around my ankles. But I'm sitting on the seat trying 580 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 1: to get my mind right, trying to figure out what's 581 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: going on. Chris says, did I fall forward? Apparently I did, 582 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 1: because the next thing I knew, I woke up and 583 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 1: my right side of my forehead was smashed into the 584 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: sideboard of the floor in front of the toilet, and 585 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: there I am laying on the laying on the bathroom 586 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: floor like Elvis, with my pants around my ankles. And honestly, 587 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 1: when I woke up, what worried me was it even 588 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 1: that I passed out. What worried me was what if 589 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: I had died like that? And that's how I got found. 590 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,640 Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to know more. Unfatimans. Yeah, 591 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: I was a big drug guy. You know, after I'm 592 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: doing all that math that I just had to pass 593 00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: out for a while. Now, that's yeah, I still think 594 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: about that. Well, great, now I don't want to go 595 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: to the toilet anymore. Here's a headline, you know the headlines. 596 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: We didn't get to you, young girl tips drag queen 597 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 1: at Pride events sponsored by Nickelodeon. Nobody's scaring anybody, and 598 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing. That's a direct quote. It is 599 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 1: not enough for your state to ban this stuff. I 600 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,399 Speaker 1: wish this stuff. I wish we never had to get 601 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 1: to the place where we even had to have these discussions. 602 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: It is not enough for your your state to ban it. 603 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 1: Your states should begin criminalizing these things. Melinda Gates on 604 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 1: unbelievably painful divorce quote, I just couldn't stay in that marriage. 605 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: She then doesn't go on to disclose anything. I do 606 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: think it is so wild that one of the most, 607 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 1: if not the most influential people on the planet is 608 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: Bill Gates. Bill Gates's wife, Melinda Gates, gave an interview 609 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,399 Speaker 1: to I Believe the magazine was where she said, specifically 610 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,359 Speaker 1: in there, she divorced Bill Gates in part because of 611 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein, the international sex trafficker. 612 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 1: And somehow this doesn't catch on in the news. Somehow 613 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: we moved right past that to allowing this human being 614 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: to try to sell us poopwater, buy up farmland that 615 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: he doesn't intend to put meat on, and become one 616 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,440 Speaker 1: of the biggest, one of the foremost climate change activists 617 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: on the planet, and nobody out there, no one in 618 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 1: the press is saying, hey, we could we backtrack to 619 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,799 Speaker 1: the Epstein thing? Exactly what was it about your relationship 620 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: with him that would cause your wife to leave you 621 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 1: over it? I mean, I've met a bunch of creepy dudes. 622 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: The wife never chose to leave me over it. I 623 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 1: would assume there was more than meeting. No, who knows 624 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 1: forty six billion dollars in COVID unemployment went to fraudster. 625 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:06,600 Speaker 1: Huh what a gigantic Democrats spending bill that ended up 626 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,680 Speaker 1: being full of fraud and waste. Man, it's only someone 627 00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,839 Speaker 1: had seen that coming. If abortion is your thing, the 628 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: Satanic Temple might be your church. Yes, the Satanic Temple 629 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:22,240 Speaker 1: came out strongly backing abortion on demand. Probably worth noting 630 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 1: at this point in time that the stated position of 631 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: the National Democratic Party in this country is identical to 632 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: the position of the Satanic Temple. Hersha Walker says he's 633 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: suing The Daily Beast over a story about him allegedly 634 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 1: paying for girlfriends abortion. I don't fall for October's surprises. 635 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: Neither should you. Flight attendants will get more rest between 636 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 1: shifts under the new FAA rule. That's fine, get him 637 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 1: all the rest we need. If we could go back 638 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,920 Speaker 1: to having pleasant fight at flight attendants. When I was 639 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 1: a kid, flight attendants were in generally dimes who were wonderful. 640 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 1: Now they're not dimes, and they treat you as if 641 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,799 Speaker 1: you're some kind of horrific burden. Get them all the 642 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,320 Speaker 1: rest they need. If I cannot be treated like a leper, 643 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 1: all right, that's all