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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Keon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming

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Speaker 1: right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive. My brother

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Speaker 2: in law flirted with me at dinner just to test

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Speaker 2: my loyalty.

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Speaker 3: He's just a good guy.

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Speaker 2: My sister recently got married about three to four months ago.

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Speaker 2: I did not see much of them after the wedding,

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Speaker 2: between their honeymoon and getting back to work. Once a month,

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Speaker 2: our family gets together in my parents' host a huge feast.

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Speaker 2: Since this took place a week ago, it was for August.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a deleted user. Oooo.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to meet your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the rt slash Okay story. I'm Subred, I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and I'm He's a blur.

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Speaker 2: So blurted little And we're here to read this story.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna have our thoughts about it. Tell us your

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Speaker 2: thoughts in the comments below. And Op says during dinner,

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Speaker 2: my brother in law was being extremely weird towards me.

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Speaker 2: He was complimenting my body, ignoring my sister and just

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Speaker 2: acting so strange. It was completely unexpected for several reasons.

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Speaker 2: One his wife was sitting right next to me. Two,

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Speaker 2: he had only been married a few months. Three he

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Speaker 2: had never spoken two or about me like that before.

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Speaker 2: I felt really uncomfortable, and I am sure it showed

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Speaker 2: to the rest of the room because what the heck

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Speaker 2: is going on? Except nobody was pointing anything out. I

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Speaker 2: was extremely confused and just wanted to leave. When I

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Speaker 2: got home, I felt so achy. I do not even

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Speaker 2: know how to describe it. I decided to message my

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Speaker 2: sister and let her know his behavior made me uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: I told her it was also concerning that he felt

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Speaker 2: comfortable enough to say those things in front of my

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Speaker 2: parents and brother. I explained that if she didn't feel

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Speaker 2: comfortable being in the middle, I would not mind explaining

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Speaker 2: this to him myself. His behavior was so unnerving that

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Speaker 2: I facetimed my boyfriend, who was away from work in

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Speaker 2: the US. I told him how suddenly my brother in

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Speaker 2: law's behavior towards me went from that of siblings to

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Speaker 2: this horribly uncomfortable situation. He was pissed, and rightfully so.

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Speaker 2: My sister did not respond to my text until the

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Speaker 2: next day she asked to meet up, so I did.

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Speaker 2: I was expecting her to be upset and to have

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Speaker 2: him apologize for what he said. Instead, she admitted it

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Speaker 2: was all a test and that I passed. I was confused,

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Speaker 2: to say the least. What did she mean by a test?

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Speaker 2: I passed?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: What is going on? It turns out she had her

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Speaker 2: husband do those things on purpose because she wanted to

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Speaker 2: see how I would react if he had said those

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Speaker 2: things to me and dement them. My reaction and choice

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Speaker 2: to message her afterward told her I could be trusted

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Speaker 2: around him. I was offended, to say the least. Why

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Speaker 2: would she think I couldn't be trusted? Well, let me

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Speaker 2: tell you, in my opinion, the not very valid reason

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Speaker 2: for this lack of trust. My sister has been married

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Speaker 2: before she was twenty seven, and the dev worse was

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Speaker 2: about ten months into the marriage. Her ex was a psycho.

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Speaker 2: To say the least, he had known me longer than

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Speaker 2: he knew my sister. I was the one who had

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Speaker 2: introduced them. They got along well and eventually started dating.

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Speaker 2: It looked like the healthiest and most romantic relationship ever,

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Speaker 2: except everything changed when they got married. During their marriage.

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Speaker 2: I was staying with them because it was a closer

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Speaker 2: commute to work. They had extra bedrooms, and I would

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Speaker 2: pay rent and cook and clean for myself. My underwear

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Speaker 2: would often go missing. I just assumed it got mixed

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Speaker 2: up in my sister's laundry and would turn up eventually,

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Speaker 2: but it was happening more frequently, to the point that

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Speaker 2: I was buying underwear almost weakly echs. I kept pressuring

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Speaker 2: my sister to admit she was stealing my underwear, and

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Speaker 2: she was adamant it was not her. I decided to

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Speaker 2: just ignore it and go about my day. Something I

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Speaker 2: had not even considered as an option was the real

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Speaker 2: reason my former brother in law was stealing my underwear.

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Speaker 3: Hmm.

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Speaker 2: I do not know, nor do I want to know

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Speaker 2: what he was doing with them. When I found out,

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Speaker 2: I was so disgusted and confused. Someone I thought was

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Speaker 2: my friend was actually just a PERV. He admitted he

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Speaker 2: had never really loved my sister and was just using

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Speaker 2: her to get to me.

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Speaker 3: So was he the one that suggested the test? Was

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Speaker 3: he like, let me touch your sister because like she

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Speaker 3: was probably.

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Speaker 2: Her ex husband?

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Speaker 3: Oh what?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: The underwear thing happened before with a previous partner that

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Speaker 2: she left because of this.

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Speaker 3: Why are all the husbands so pervy? For op?

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Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on, well the first the

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Speaker 2: second husband is I don't know. I don't know whose

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Speaker 2: idea that was. I need to know whose idea it

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Speaker 2: really was to do that. I feel like it might

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Speaker 2: have been the sister's idea. Yeah, but I'm surprised, and

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Speaker 2: I'm happy that your boyfriend had nothing to do with us.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank god.

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Speaker 2: I was so creeped out by all this that I

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Speaker 2: pressed charges for his behavior. I was able to get

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Speaker 2: a restraining order, and my sister divorced him almost instantly

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Speaker 2: after finding out. In goodness, she she used something traumatic

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Speaker 2: that happened to me and flipped it to make it

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Speaker 2: seem like I was the one who was untrustworthy. She

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Speaker 2: claimed I must have strung him along for him to

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Speaker 2: think like that. This test was just to prove I

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Speaker 2: was not doing it again.

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Speaker 3: So doing it again? Do you mean your husband doing

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Speaker 3: it again?

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Speaker 2: Safe to say I was extremely hurt and angry at

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Speaker 2: her response. I told her to never speak to or

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Speaker 2: contact me again if that was what she really thought

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Speaker 2: of me. My family found out and for the most

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Speaker 2: part agreed her behavior was crazy, but my mother stood

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Speaker 2: by her actions and said my sister was just trying

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Speaker 2: to protect herself from being hurt again. I told her,

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Speaker 2: if she had just been honest with me from the start,

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Speaker 2: I would not have been as bothered. There is a

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Speaker 2: right way to approach things. In a wrong way, this

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Speaker 2: was not just wrong, it was also crazy. Why was

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Speaker 2: she so adamant that it was my life goal to

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Speaker 2: hurt her? I did not know her ex was going

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Speaker 2: to turn out like that. Was I now being punished?

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Speaker 2: She claimed? I should have had some indication he liked me,

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Speaker 2: but he really made it seem like he was head

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Speaker 2: over heels for my sister. How was I supposed to

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Speaker 2: know what was going on in someone else's mind? Flip

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Speaker 2: that script around. He was your husband. Shouldn't you have

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Speaker 2: been able to tell he wasn't actually into you, seeing

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Speaker 2: as you married him and spent every day with him.

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Speaker 3: No, it's easier to blame my sister. She's right there anyway.

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Speaker 2: The family dinner was earlier this month, as it was

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Speaker 2: the most compatible date for everyone's schedules. That dinner was yesterday.

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Speaker 2: I told my parents to expect me not to show

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Speaker 2: up if my sister and brother in law were going.

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Speaker 2: It was not even because I refused to ever speak

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Speaker 2: to her again. The situation was just so fresh. I

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Speaker 2: told my mother I would apologize when I had cooled

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Speaker 2: down a little. It was difficult to face them when

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Speaker 2: they made me feel like a horrible person for something

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Speaker 2: out of my control. My mother assured me my sister

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Speaker 2: would not attend, so I agreed to come. Twenty bucks

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Speaker 2: right now. Who's there, who's there? Who's there? Right now?

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Speaker 3: They're there, two hundred.

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Speaker 2: Million dollars on sisters there at the dinner, all in

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Speaker 2: seventeen black, let it ride, idiot. When I arrived, they

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Speaker 2: were both there sick. I'm said to retire. It felt

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Speaker 2: like an ambush, and it sort of was. If it

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Speaker 2: walks like a duck and quacks like a duck. My

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Speaker 2: sister demanded I apologize for my reaction because it was

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Speaker 2: my own fault that happened in the first place.

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Speaker 3: Your sister sucks. Your sister's so bad, and I understand

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Speaker 3: why we don't want to ever see her again.

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Speaker 2: Man, I would have bonked to your sister if I

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Speaker 2: was you, I would have hit her with a bonk

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Speaker 2: and then I would have left. I cannot lie. I snapped.

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Speaker 2: I told her she should remove my number and the

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Speaker 2: title of being my sister if she really felt that way.

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Speaker 2: I just need advice because therapy is not scheduled for

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Speaker 2: another two weeks. I feel like I just dreamt a

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Speaker 2: soap opera storyline. I feel kind of bad because I

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Speaker 2: do understand my sister had her trust broken completely by her,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like that distrust should not be aimed

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Speaker 2: at me. It should be aimed at the person who

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Speaker 2: actually caused it. I was the one who introduced her

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Speaker 2: to the guy in the first place, so I already

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Speaker 2: feel guilty for that. But I'm failing to see how

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Speaker 2: her schemes to manipulate me into thinking she is being

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Speaker 2: wronged by a husband once again are not far too extreme.

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Speaker 2: I want to apologize to her for one reason only

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Speaker 2: ever introducing that man to her. I really need her

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Speaker 2: to see that I was not trying anything when her

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Speaker 2: ex was stealing my underwear. I was just as in

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Speaker 2: the dark as she was. How do I go about

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Speaker 2: doing that? I want to put this behind me and

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Speaker 2: move on. I was just about healing from her former marriage,

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Speaker 2: and now this one is also putting me in an

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Speaker 2: uncomfortable position with my sister, brother in law, and my

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Speaker 2: own mother. Any advice on how to tackle apologizing, getting

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Speaker 2: my sister's trust back, and showing her I truly just

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Speaker 2: want the best for her. We do have an update.

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Speaker 2: I cannot lie. I snapped. I told her she should

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Speaker 2: remove my number and the title of being my sister

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Speaker 2: if she really felt that way. I just need advice.

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Speaker 2: Because therapy is not scheduled for another two weeks. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I just dreamt a soap opera storyline. I

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Speaker 2: feel kind of bad because I do understand my sister

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Speaker 2: had her trust broken completely by her ex, but I

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Speaker 2: feel like that distrust should not be aimed at me.

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Speaker 2: It should be aimed at the person who actually caused it.

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Speaker 2: I was the one who introduced her to the guy

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Speaker 2: in the first place, so I already feel guilty for that.

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Speaker 2: But I'm failing to see how her schemes to manipulate

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Speaker 2: me into thinking she is being wronged by a husband

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Speaker 2: once again are not far too extreme. I want to

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Speaker 2: apologize to her for one reason only ever introducing that

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Speaker 2: man to her. I really need her to see that

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Speaker 2: I was not trying anything when her ex was stealing

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Speaker 2: my underwear. I was just as in the dark as

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Speaker 2: she was. How do I go about doing that? I

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Speaker 2: want to put this behind me and move on. I

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Speaker 2: was just about healing from her former marriage, and now

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Speaker 2: this one is also putting me in an uncomfortable position

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Speaker 2: with my sister, brother in law and my own mother.

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Speaker 2: Any advice one had to tackle apologizing, getting my sister's

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Speaker 2: trust back, and showing her I truly just want the

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Speaker 2: best for her. We do have an update.

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Speaker 3: I don't think there really is any way for you

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Speaker 3: to convince your sister of anything.

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Speaker 4: I think she is.

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Speaker 3: So thoroughly like mind warped that she needs to come

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Speaker 3: to that conclusion on her own.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think here's what you should do. Start stealing

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Speaker 2: her husband's underwear and then once that becomes a hey

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Speaker 2: is underwear disappearing? Where are they? You go? Oh? I

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Speaker 2: was just trying to make him fall madly in love

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Speaker 2: with me, because apparently that's what you do. Apparently people

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Speaker 2: absolutely love it when that happens. And I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: string your husband along. Oh oh, yeah, that's not how

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Speaker 2: that works, and it's weird and gross. Do you see

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Speaker 2: how stupid you were? Now? I don't know, man, I

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Speaker 2: would be so hurt and like, on a real level,

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Speaker 2: my response would just be like, clearly, you have not

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Speaker 2: really processed anything that happened to you. If you still think,

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Speaker 2: if you think somehow this was my fault, you have

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Speaker 2: processed zero percent of what happened to you correctly. So

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Speaker 2: I think you need to go to therapy before we're

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Speaker 2: gonna have a positive relationship in any way. And so

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Speaker 2: now the ball is in her court, because what are

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Speaker 2: you gonna do? Apologize that she's insane, Apologize that she's

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Speaker 2: played like what.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she won't stop until you cow to her, and

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Speaker 3: you shouldn't have to do that.

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Speaker 2: Steal her husband's underwear. Boom, See, I'm stringing them along. Update.

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Speaker 2: A lot has happened over the last couple of days.

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Speaker 2: I lost a sister and a mother in two days.

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Speaker 3: My god, I don't know why I thought you meant

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Speaker 3: like you. They passed away and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: my god, I think you just meant emotionally lost them.

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Speaker 2: It is heartbreaking more than anything. Ahead of meet up

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Speaker 2: with everyone, my boyfriend came with me, so I had

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Speaker 2: support during the conversation. Honestly, it was hard to look

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Speaker 2: at any of them after the way they treated me.

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Speaker 2: I'm so thankful to everyone who opened my eyes to

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Speaker 2: the crazy behavior. In the first part of this story,

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Speaker 2: in front of everyone, my mother admitted to knowing about

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Speaker 2: the plans from the start. My sister confided in her,

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Speaker 2: and she agreed it was a good idea. She supported

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Speaker 2: her son in law openly pestering her daughter. I'm incomplete shock.

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Speaker 2: It hurts so much knowing she would condone this, considering

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Speaker 2: she knew how much I was affected by the first husband.

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Speaker 2: She knew I was having a difficult time in therapy.

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Speaker 2: It took me a long time to trust people again

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Speaker 2: after that, and now once again, my trust has been broken.

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Speaker 2: I do not know how I am ever going to

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Speaker 2: trust anyone again. I'm really thankful my boyfriend was there

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Speaker 2: to comfort me. It was so hard keeping my composure

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Speaker 2: around them. My sister was not budging at all. She

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Speaker 2: kept maintaining she was in the right. She said, the

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Speaker 2: only reason I would not apologize was because deep down

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Speaker 2: I knew what her ex was like. She said, I

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Speaker 2: liked getting attention from him, knowing he was married to

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Speaker 2: my sister. What attention your sister.

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Speaker 3: Has fully broken down she is creating fake things in

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Speaker 3: her mind. She does not know what is real and

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Speaker 3: what is not or what yes, what is read and fake?

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Speaker 2: Just one of those things for you. I would just

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Speaker 2: be like, can you repeat what you said? Like I

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Speaker 2: can't hease? Explain that one more time?

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Speaker 3: Write that down and read it, read it back to you.

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Speaker 3: Do those like lines that they do. That's that teachers

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Speaker 3: assign you.

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Speaker 1: It's like standards.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like in the opening credits of The Simpsons.

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Speaker 2: So me me after thinking you stole my underwear? Was

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Speaker 2: me getting attention from your husband knowingly and then loving that.

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Speaker 3: You should have gone commando this whole time. Oh, but

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Speaker 3: that's your problem.

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Speaker 2: She also claimed I overreacted and that if it was

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Speaker 2: acting that her current husband was doing, then he did

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Speaker 2: nothing wrong. I told her she should not expect any

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Speaker 2: or a text from me until I received the apology

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Speaker 2: I deserve from both her and my brother in law.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of him, he was pretty silent throughout the whole thing,

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Speaker 2: probably because my father threatened him if he spoke badly

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Speaker 2: about me. He did say the only reason he did

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Speaker 2: it was to placate my sister because she kept accusing

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Speaker 2: him of oogling me. Oggling, not oogling. Not boogling, all right,

292
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Speaker 2: it's smoogling when it should be oogling. Yeah, the schmallogle

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Speaker 2: machine is broken.

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Speaker 3: Boggling. Uh, boggle my mind, that's what yougle, you ogling.

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Speaker 2: Still there was no apology from him. My mother broke

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Speaker 2: my heart the most. She told me I was over

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Speaker 2: exaggerating and that I should be happy to have passed

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Speaker 2: my sister's test. She said the words, we can all

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Speaker 2: move on now. I was a complete awe. How how

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Speaker 2: could she think things would go back to normal after this?

301
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Speaker 2: I asked why she was supporting such delusional behavior. She

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Speaker 2: said it was because she loved my sister and wanted

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Speaker 2: her to be happy, so.

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Speaker 3: She understands that it's delusional. Okay, I'm let mom support

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Speaker 3: It's fine, you know, low key, hold on, low KEI

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Speaker 3: mom's kind of cooking.

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Speaker 2: If you take like the trauma response out of it,

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Speaker 2: the fact that it's like clearly her accusing you of

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Speaker 2: this is making you feel like she's saying that all

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Speaker 2: of that was your fault, and that's you know, messed up.

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Speaker 1: What's mom cooking a burnt No?

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Speaker 2: But this could have been It's terrible clearly you have.

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Speaker 2: You also are still going to therapy and working through

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Speaker 2: this in a way, and so this is still very

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Speaker 2: like a thing that you're you're working through currently. But

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Speaker 2: if you had been on the other side of that,

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Speaker 2: this might have been a silly baby scenario, cause it's

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Speaker 2: just like, a that's so stupid and crazy. I truly,

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Speaker 2: what am I gonna do waste time being emotionally like

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Speaker 2: damaged by someone with the emotional intelligence of a five

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Speaker 2: year old, Like, I'm not even gonna let it hit me,

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Speaker 2: Like sure whatever, I passed your test. Keep that in

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Speaker 2: mind now that your sister is unhinged and you know,

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Speaker 2: move forward in relative peace, but you weren't at a

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Speaker 2: place where that was feasible because you were still actively

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Speaker 2: in therapy to get through this. But outside of.

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Speaker 3: It, away from her. I want to move forward twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty two hundred feet away from her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just a you know, it doesn't make it okay.

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Speaker 2: It's just about having the most net positive effect on

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Speaker 2: your overall life because now you've lost your mom and

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Speaker 2: your sister and that's probably going to give you a

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00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 2: whole other level of you know, emotional baggage that you're

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Speaker 2: going to have to work through and process and digest.

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Speaker 2: But if you're at a point where you could have

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Speaker 2: just silly babed it, you know you probably don't have

337
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 2: to deal with that. Just a thought. So she's like,

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Speaker 2: I want your sister to be happy. That's great. I

339
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 2: asked if she loved me as much as my sister.

340
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Speaker 2: She said yes, but it seemed hesitant. I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to read too much into it. I asked her for

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00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 2: an apology for her schemes. She refused, so I gave

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Speaker 2: her the same conditions I gave my sister and brother

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00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 2: in law. Until I get an apology, I am not

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00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 2: speaking to all three of them. As a result, I

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00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 2: will probably have to go low contact with my brother

347
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Speaker 2: and dad. They both live with my mother. I will

348
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,879
Speaker 2: hang out with them outside and without her present. Whether

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00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 2: she will allow that is another question. Some comments suggested

350
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 2: spending time with my boyfriend's family on holidays. I have

351
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 2: not met his family before because they live in the US.

352
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Speaker 2: After this situation, I took two weeks of paid holiday.

353
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Speaker 2: At the end of this month, he is taking me

354
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Speaker 2: to meet them for the first time. I hope it

355
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 2: goes well, because they might be the only family I

356
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 2: have now my therapy session has been moved to tomorrow

357
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 2: because I requested an emergency appointment. Wish me luck, Laidla

358
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

359
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 2: the next one.

360
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 3: My mother chose my ax over me for Christmas, so

361
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Speaker 3: I did the same thing.

362
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,159
Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, matching the same energy.

363
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:51,000
Speaker 3: Basically. My ex and I split after someone came out

364
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 3: as a saffic at the start of twenty twenty five.

365
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,200
Speaker 3: We're both forty two now and we're together for nearly

366
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Speaker 3: seventeen years. I wanted no contact with her, which I've

367
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 3: been able to avoid her relatively well. My family had

368
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 3: a relationship with her, which I can't avoid. Their excuse

369
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 3: is that she's been in their lives so long, she's

370
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 3: part of the family herself. But it hasn't affected me

371
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 3: up until now. By the way, this comes from Intrepid

372
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 3: Cut three three seven, And if you want to spit

373
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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the erslash.

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00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,239
Speaker 4: Okay, storytime severed it.

375
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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to

376
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,120
Speaker 2: get good advice.

377
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,160
Speaker 3: Goofy. But we don't have all the answers. We really

378
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 3: know what we'd do, so let us know what you

379
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,360
Speaker 3: would do in the comments, and UBI says, my ex

380
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,959
Speaker 3: and her own family always got along and I had

381
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 3: a great relationship with them myself, particularly her mom. When

382
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 3: she came out, they all fell out and they disowned her. Oh,

383
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,280
Speaker 3: they're from a Caribbean background, so there's an element of

384
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,600
Speaker 3: homophobia there. The original plan for Christmas and New Year

385
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,320
Speaker 3: was that I was going to spend the time at

386
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Speaker 3: my folks. It would have been nice after the year

387
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 3: I've had. But at the start of December, my mom

388
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 3: told me she spoke to my ex and she had

389
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 3: no one to spend Christmas with, so she.

390
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 4: Invited her to have dinner with us.

391
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: I wasn't happy with that at all, and my mom

392
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 3: basically said she hates the thought of someone having no

393
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 3: one at Christmas. So I said, I don't think I

394
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,880
Speaker 3: want to go, and I'd rather spend Christmas on my own.

395
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 3: She thought I was being dramatic. I not long after

396
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,479
Speaker 3: that received a Christmas card from my ex in laws,

397
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: so I rang them and thanked them. It was lovely

398
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 3: to catch up, and my ex mother in law asked

399
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 3: me what I'm doing for Christmas.

400
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 2: Or why is it lovely to catch up with them.

401
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 2: They're like, why do we want to catch up with now?

402
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 2: You're making it a little weird.

403
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 3: Do I totally understand why you don't like that your

404
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 3: mom invited your ex to Christmas? Completely? Do I think

405
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 3: the solution is hanging out with your ex's home parents. No.

406
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 3: I told them about my situation and I don't think

407
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do my folks. And she invited me to

408
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 3: spend Christmas with them. H Oh yes, sorry, I okay,

409
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 3: I read in my mind ahead.

410
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't expect that at all.

411
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so o pie was just invited for Christmas.

412
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 3: I said why not, and I'd go and stay with them.

413
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 3: I told my mom a few days before, I'm definitely

414
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 3: not going, and she was gutted, saying I should reconsider.

415
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 3: I went to my ex's family and I had a

416
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 3: great time. They made proper Caribbean food curry goat, and

417
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 3: I enjoyed their company. I enjoyed it so much that

418
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 3: I stayed until the new year. I'm definitely going to

419
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 3: stay in contact. I even reconnected with my ex sister

420
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 3: in law while I was there. I dare say there

421
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 3: was a bit of flirtation there. But I didn't act

422
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 3: on it, although I still might the years young. Yet

423
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 3: you are weird. I don't like you. She did give

424
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 3: me her number and said we can go out anytime.

425
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 3: This is so weird. When I got back home yesterday,

426
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 3: my mom was angry with me. She said I ruined

427
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 3: Christmas and I was a bad person for spending time

428
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 3: with people like my ex in laws. I kind of agree.

429
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: I kind of agree.

430
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 3: Apparently loads of people in my family aren't happy with me.

431
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole for spa time with my

432
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 3: ex in laws over my own family because they invited

433
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,479
Speaker 3: my ex and there's a judgment of everyone sucks here.

434
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 1: And I agree, this is like the an eye for

435
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: an eye thing, but you want ie for like a

436
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 1: whole body. Yeah, just like, yeah, what are we doing?

437
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 2: Nobody's weird. Nobody in this story feels like they're moving correct.

438
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 3: Everyone's moving the wrong way. I don't like it. And

439
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 3: we've got an update six days later, but I don't

440
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 3: like any of it.

441
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 2: Movie. They're moving all herky jerky.

442
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 3: Yucky yucky yucky, Like, why did you think that was cool?

443
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 3: I just don't understand. Even if you were super upset

444
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 3: that your wife left you, why why? I don't know, Like,

445
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 3: don't you have any residual love for your wife?

446
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,199
Speaker 2: Well? I don't know, because it I feel like I

447
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 2: feel like now I don't know. Somebody said something about

448
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,120
Speaker 2: being lied to for seventeen years, but it's like did

449
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 2: she lie though?

450
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 3: Did she lie or did she just not know? You know?

451
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: Because that's the thing, right, She.

452
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,639
Speaker 3: Didn't cheat on you that we know of. It sounds

453
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 3: like she just kind of figured it out. This week,

454
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 3: I had some miscalls from my cousin's daughter's number. Second cousin,

455
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 3: not sure of the technical term. Her and my mom

456
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 3: are close, and she was like a little sister to

457
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: me as a teenager, as she looked after her for

458
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 3: her mom when she went to work. So I rang

459
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 3: her back and she went off her head at me,

460
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 3: calling me every piece of crap under the sun. I

461
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 3: try to give her my side, but she wasn't halving

462
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 3: any of it, so I basically told her to f off.

463
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 3: She blabbed her own mom, who then sends me message

464
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 3: after message on her social media about how I spoke

465
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 3: to her daughter, an effing thirty year old woman, no less,

466
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 3: and now I'm treating my mom. I just blocked her.

467
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 3: I'll probably hear about it soon enough. She's a self

468
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 3: absorbed person who lies to make herself look better, so

469
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: will no doubt spin it to my uncle, other cousins

470
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: and everyone who will listen. I don't care if anyone

471
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: else says crap, I'll block them and cut them off

472
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 3: and all.

473
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 4: It's obvious there. My mom's been talking crap about it.

474
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 4: So I basically rang her and confronted her. She admitted

475
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: that she told people because she was hurt. I said, basically,

476
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: she had no idea of the word, and she my

477
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 4: dad an ex hurt me more than anything I could

478
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 4: do to them. I told her I don't want to

479
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 4: talk anymore, and don't bother ringing me. I won't bother

480
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 4: ring her. I got some texts later on from her,

481
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 4: really long ones, and I just deleted them without reading

482
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 4: and blocked her number for now. Since I haven't been

483
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 4: speaking to her, not just this week, but since Christmas regularly,

484
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 4: I've been so much less stressed. It's made me realize

485
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 4: how much I am leeched off by her for all

486
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 4: my adult life. She's rang me twice a day and

487
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 4: we speak for at least half an hour each time. Well,

488
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 4: I say we speak. It's usually a case of her

489
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 4: talking and me listening, and it's all trauma dumping too.

490
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 4: The past few years, it's been worrying about my dad,

491
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 4: worrying about her health, worrying about the dog, crying about

492
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 4: certain cousins who passed away.

493
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 3: Okay, well that one. Okay, even talking about how she

494
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 3: thinks she's gonna pass away effing twice a day.

495
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 2: I've had it for years.

496
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 3: Ironically, my ex used to say I deserve a medal

497
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 3: for putting up with it for so long, and now

498
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 3: she's up there. Butts, how does that work?

499
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 4: Dude?

500
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 3: She doesn't have Okay, well, I think because her entire family.

501
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 3: She doesn't have a family, and these people that she's

502
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 3: known for seventeen years probably longer said hey, we still

503
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 3: love and accept you for this. What it's like, Oh

504
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 3: this is this is still everyone sucks here.

505
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 4: Okay.

506
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 3: Despite this situation being crap, I feel like a burden's

507
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:26,959
Speaker 3: been lifted.

508
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody had a This sounds like normal relationship stuff.

509
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 2: It's exhausting, sure, but it's like mom stuff like yeah,

510
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 2: like I don't know, Oh, your mom's like, ah, I'm

511
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 2: gonna do one day, don't you know, and it's like, yeah, moms,

512
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 2: why don't say that. Don't say that.

513
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 3: It's like your cousin passed away.

514
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 2: Did you hear Jimmy got sliced up in that industrial

515
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 2: grind day And it was like, yeah, mom, I don't

516
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: want to talk about that. That's terrible.

517
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 3: Thanks Boston, she's from Boston.

518
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 2: Don't know this, Mom's from Boston. Yeah. I went outside

519
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 2: today and it was raining, and so I went back

520
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 2: inside and it was and I got a code on

521
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: and when I went back outside, it had stopped raining.

522
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 2: So I went back inside to put my code away,

523
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: but then when I went back out, it was raining again.

524
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 2: So I went back inside and I read a book.

525
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 3: Thanks mom, And that's all. And that's all you gotta do.

526
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 3: But there's a little bit left. I heard from my

527
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 3: ex mother in law. I wished her happy New Year,

528
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 3: and she messaged me back and we've been texting back

529
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 3: and forth.

530
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 2: So weird.

531
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 3: It feels like a genuine conversation, like someone who actually

532
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 3: cares about what I have to say. She says, I'm

533
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 3: invited to her birthday in March, and I'm gonna go.

534
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 3: I know that won't be popular of you who say

535
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 3: I shouldn't be in touch with bigots or the like,

536
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 3: but they're the only people on earth at the moment

537
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: who care about me, and I dare say love me.

538
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 3: So I'm not about it, give that up and be

539
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 3: on my own. So dude, So dude, okay, So so dude.

540
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: You say that, and yet you don't seem to understand

541
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,200
Speaker 3: why your ex wife may desire the same.

542
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 1: Just full, it's just going. It's going eye for eye,

543
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: mouth for mouth. It's like, what are we doing.

544
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: I've also messaged my ex sister in law back too.

545
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 3: We spoke for a bit and she's not looking for

546
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 3: anything serious, as she just got out of a bad

547
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 3: relationship herself, so it'll be a casual friends with benefit

548
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 3: things more likely. You suck suits me because that's where

549
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 3: I am too.

550
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: You're just doing it for revel.

551
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, very excited. It's kind of like weird, out of

552
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: all the people on the planet.

553
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 3: You chose her, your sister in law.

554
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: So it's like her sister. Yeah. It's like it's like,

555
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 2: can you maybe just say it's like, oh, it just happened, yeah.

556
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 3: Bye, but didn't welito.

557
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and are you doing the thing now where it's

558
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: like oh no. Once I sleep with her sisters, she'll think, oh, well,

559
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 2: was he actually more into my sister the whole time?

560
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: But the thing is, he's thinking, what cares she actually

561
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 2: just into women the whole time? She never was into me.

562
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 2: Boo boo googoo got got boo boo boo boo. Come on, literally,

563
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: anyone else, Gary Busey, this is loose bye.

564
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story, folks, and we've got

565
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 3: another one coming right now.

566
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 2: I tried to expose my sister's affair, but she ended

567
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 2: her engagement before I could.

568
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 3: Dang it, you got to it first.

569
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: My sister is eighteen and her fiance is twenty going

570
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: on twenty one. I have been living with them as

571
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: a roommate since June. Her fiance recently got a new

572
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 2: job that keeps him away for weeks at a time.

573
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 2: After that, my sister got close to a male friend,

574
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: and the way she acts about him has been getting awful.

575
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 2: I try to give her advice, but she hears what

576
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: she wants and throws out the rest. By the way,

577
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 2: this comes from user dangerous Feed ninety forty seven. If

578
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 2: you want us to meet your own stories, go to

579
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: the r Slashowkay Storytime Suburday and I'm Dakota.

580
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon.

581
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 2: We're gonna read this story and tell you what we

582
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 2: have to say, and you can tell us what you

583
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 2: have to say in the comments all day long. And

584
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: Op says she talks about this guy like a middle

585
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 2: schooler with a crush. She tells me about him hitting

586
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 2: on her and complimenting her and flirting with her. His

587
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 2: own fiance left him because she was uncomfortable with their friendship.

588
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: My sister started talking badly about the X and acting

589
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: very differently personality wise. Here's where I might be the

590
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: A hole. One night, my sister said she was going

591
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 2: on a drive and she left her phone at home.

592
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 2: That felt strange through it. I know that was wrong,

593
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: but I couldn't help it. I've been cheated on before

594
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: and I can't watch it happen to someone right in

595
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: front of me. The guy texted her something along the

596
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 2: lines of come over, baby, Dudy's vaiting. She went to

597
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: his house that night and came home the next morning,

598
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: claiming she slept in her car. My sister and her

599
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: sister in law are planning to go see her fiance

600
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: this Wednesday for his birthday. My plan is to text

601
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 2: him Thursday morning before she wakes up and tell him

602
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: to go through her phone. I cannot screenshot anything because

603
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 2: she deletes the messages, but he can recover them and

604
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: see everything since he has an iPhone. I hate cheating,

605
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 2: and I feel awful keeping this secret while she lies

606
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 2: to someone who treats her extremely well. I already told

607
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 2: her she needed to distance herself before things exploded, like

608
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: when this guy and his ex broke up. She ignored

609
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: me and talking to her does not help. So am

610
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 2: I the a hole? If I expose her?

611
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: Expose her, expose expose her expository. I want pages, I

612
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 3: want a thesis.

613
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: Wombo combo.

614
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

615
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 3: I think that you really should go to her first

616
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: and say this is unacceptable. I'm gonna tell him if

617
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 3: you don't, and then go tell him.

618
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even at this point, I wouldn't even tell her.

619
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 2: I just go tell him.

620
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, either way, it's just if you want

621
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 3: to try and see if she'll do the right thing.

622
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 2: I suppose don't get I get him on the horn

623
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 2: right now. She's been saying she's been talking to her.

624
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: She won't do anything. She doesn't see anything wrong.

625
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 3: That's true. If you've already been talking to her and

626
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 3: that like hasn't been working, then yeah you.

627
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: Go, you go pee poop poop, pep peep. Hello, uh yeah, brother,

628
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 2: brother in law. Yeah, are you sitting down? You sit down?

629
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: Please sit down? Are you in a safe place? Good?

630
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 2: My sister is cheating on you. I'm sorry to have

631
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,479
Speaker 2: to break it to you so bluntly, but there is

632
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: no good way to hear that news. So I'm just

633
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: telling you right now that's happening.

634
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 3: You.

635
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: You should not marry this woman. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Yeah,

636
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 2: I wish you nothing but the best. Blue Blue done

637
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 2: Leamington for him comment number one. I think he deserves

638
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 2: to know. But you do know this may ruin your

639
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: relationship with your sister, right. You're also living with them,

640
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 2: so it might put you in a bad situation. I'm

641
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 2: not saying don't tell him, but there will be consequences

642
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 2: for you as well. Just make a plan for you

643
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 2: as well.

644
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 4: True A good point. Good point.

645
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, Honestly, if my sister is a nasty little adulteress,

646
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 2: I don't care if our relationship goes bad.

647
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 3: It seems like your relationship is already not great, so

648
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 3: mm hmm.

649
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 2: OPI says, that's fine. The person she's changing into is

650
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 2: not a person I want to have in my life. Boom,

651
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 2: and my mom and father in law are okay with

652
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: me staying with them while I find an apartment. Comment too,

653
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: Just be careful in case she blows this up and

654
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: tries to twist the story. I'd say, let you're inner

655
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: circle in on it a little bit so she can't

656
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: get to them first. Opie says, I've been talking to them,

657
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: but whereas I have two friends, she has like ten

658
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: plus that she's been talking to and she's told me that.

659
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 2: They also said she needs to distance herself from them

660
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: and have been giving her the same advice I have.

661
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 3: Oh, so all of her friends are also upset with her.

662
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 2: Her inner circle hangs out with both of them quite

663
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: often and are all under eighteen, so they are immature

664
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 2: and don't quite see what's going on as much as

665
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: the rest of us. As far as my knowledge. And

666
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 2: there is an edit. She just went on another drive

667
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: and left her phone here. She said she might sleep

668
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 2: in her car again.

669
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 3: Stop like stop, stop, Do you think I'm an idiot?

670
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 3: Do you think I was born yesterday. No, I wasn't.

671
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,719
Speaker 3: I'm not a clone. I'm a full human adult.

672
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: Like, not even an explanation given. Just saying that you're

673
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 2: gonna do that is the most insane thing. She'd be like, Yeah,

674
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave my phone here and go sleep in

675
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: my car somewhere. And yeah, it's don't worry about it, totally,

676
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: don't don't worry about it.

677
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 3: That's her face. She goes, don't worry about it.

678
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 2: I am telling him via a text now number tomorrow

679
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,479
Speaker 2: morning around four am when he gets up, My message

680
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: will read make sister's name, tell you what's really going

681
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 2: on with man's name, And then I'm gonna send him

682
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: a screenshot of the convo that they had previously mentioned

683
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: in my og post. And he thoughts, and there's an.

684
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: Update, Kean, What do you think?

685
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: What if she actually is sleeping in her car?

686
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole time, she's like, I just like it.

687
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: It's just really comfortable.

688
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 3: I like to go off the grid, leave my phone

689
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 3: behind and have some car time.

690
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: Maybe she's like a maybe she's got a big car update.

691
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 2: Hey guys, what up dude? Everyone wanted an update? Say

692
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: here it is dude. I ended up not happy to

693
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 2: expose my sister. Last night, she woke up her fiance

694
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 2: Andrew in the middle of the night crying and said,

695
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: I can't do this anymore.

696
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 3: Man, oh man.

697
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 2: He asked, what, you don't love me anymore?

698
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 1: Just out of the I'd be like, why are you

699
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 1: waking up?

700
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 2: Wait?

701
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 5: Wait?

702
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 1: Do you wake me up? What are you doing?

703
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 2: What?

704
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 3: Stop? Stop doing this?

705
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: She hit him with a classic She said, I do

706
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: love you. I'm just I'm not in love with you.

707
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 3: I shout up stop MIT's words, you don't love him.

708
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 2: Andrew told her she needed to leave and get her stuff,

709
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 2: her animals, and her sister out of his house.

710
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 3: Dang, that's you.

711
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: Dang. Now you have to actually sleep in the car.

712
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 3: Oh no.

713
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 2: While I was still in bed, his sister came into

714
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: the room eh and told me I could stay the night,

715
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: but I needed to be out by the next day.

716
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 2: I told her I was going to leave tonight, and

717
00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: at that point I told her everything. I showed her

718
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: the screenshots, the voice recordings, everything. She put Andrew and

719
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 2: another one of their sisters on the phone to tell

720
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: them what was going on. She left and said thank you,

721
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: and as I was packing my things. My sisters a

722
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: fair partners showed up to get her. Sup.

723
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: That's crazy, Daddy has a showed up. Daddy is here,

724
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 3: not not kidding.

725
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 2: You are going to move in this Daddy.

726
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 3: Moving in with Daddy. Daddy's got a penthouse or what

727
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 3: I like to call a condo above a restaurant.

728
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 2: I went back inside to help him pack, and one

729
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: of Andrew's sisters texted me asking if the cops were outside.

730
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 2: They were. They had the affair partner in cuffs, unentertained

731
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 2: because he had a weapon on him, but it was

732
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 2: legally owned.

733
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: Huh.

734
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,760
Speaker 2: Someone had called and said he was barred from the property.

735
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 2: What Andrew had tried to get him barred over the phone,

736
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 2: but since he was not there in person, the police

737
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: could not enforce it, so they just did a standby

738
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 2: while he grabbed the rest of my sister's things. The

739
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: whole time, my sister and the affair partner were not

740
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: even trying to hide the relationship. They were calling each

741
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 2: other baby and flirting in front of everyone. Now, my

742
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 2: sister is staying at the affair partner's house and I'm

743
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 2: staying with my boyfriend until I can get the down

744
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 2: payment together for a house. Okay, I mean good luck,

745
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 2: I'll be in a homeowner.

746
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, or well not yet.

747
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 2: I'm sisure. I lived in a part of the country

748
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 2: where you can own a home without having to be

749
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 2: a millionaire tough. After things calmed down, my sister texted

750
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: me this morning and said, I know you are the

751
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 2: one who told Andrew and sent him that boat out.

752
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: I can't even be upset at you for it, but

753
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 2: I feel like you invaded my privacy by doing that,

754
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: and I really wish you wouldn't have done that. But

755
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 2: like I said, I like understand why you did it,

756
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 2: and like I can't be mad at you.

757
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: There view she hit the ler.

758
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 3: You love you, oh hashtag. I don't get what you

759
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 3: did that, but like it's okay because let me sleeping

760
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: my car tonight.

761
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 2: I love you, man.

762
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: I did nothing wrong.

763
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 3: I find out that my affair partner doesn't actually have

764
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 3: a house, so he was also sleeping in my car.

765
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: Sissy, I broke up with him. The wedding's off. Everything

766
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 1: I did, it's all good.

767
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it, gus he Oh, I hope she

768
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 3: gets what's coming, you know.

769
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 2: A sack of rocks, a bag of bricks.

770
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 3: She's getting a little sack of coal.

771
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 2: A big old honk of coal.

772
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,240
Speaker 1: Kitten, you're not a cat. Daddy doesn't like you anymore.

773
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:46,240
Speaker 2: Inorganic material with zero neurons. I'm just listing things smarter

774
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 2: than your sister. She says, she's not mad at me.

775
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: I don't believe her, but I don't really care at

776
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 2: this point. On top of all that, the affair partner's

777
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 2: ex is trying to work things out with him for

778
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 2: the sake of their child, and now she is evicting

779
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 2: him from the place they shared because his name's not

780
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 2: on the lease. So I honestly have no idea where

781
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: my sister and the affair partner are going to stay

782
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 2: once he has to move out. But that's all I

783
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 2: have to share for now. Thank you everyone for your comments. Wow,

784
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.

785
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: I feel bad for uh.

786
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 3: It is kind of crazy to me that, oh, he

787
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: was killed in the middle of the night. Like, yes,

788
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 3: they said you could stay the day or stay the

789
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 3: night and then leave tomorrow, but like to wake up

790
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 3: I don't know, to wake her up in the middle

791
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 3: of the night.

792
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 2: In the morning, Yeah, I don't know, man, I wouldn't

793
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: want anything around reminding me that I was with that

794
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: woman either.

795
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, but at that point I don't even think he

796
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 3: knew that she had cheated on him. I think he

797
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 3: was just like, you don't love me, get.

798
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: Out, which I feel like, I feel like more than

799
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: they're just that.

800
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 2: I mean, if you react instantly with boy, so you

801
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 2: don't love me anymore? You knew, you knew it was over,

802
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: you knew it was ending right, all right?

803
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,479
Speaker 3: Happen to the end of that story. We got another

804
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 3: one coming right up.

805
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keelan, your residential nerd. We're going to get

806
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads

807
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

808
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: My brother pressured me to look after my nephew because

809
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 2: his wife demanded that I do.

810
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 3: But your nephew's so lame.

811
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 2: In October twenty twenty four, about seven months before my

812
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: original post, I made a related post about on inviting

813
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: my brother and nephew from a celebration dinner. I had

814
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: just landed a new job and wanted to take my

815
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 2: family out to my favorite barbecue spot to celebrate. That

816
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 2: meant my parents, my sister, and my brother. My brother

817
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 2: has a son from his first marriage, My nephew is autistic, nonverbal,

818
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 2: stems a lot, and, based on specialist reviews, is not

819
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 2: expected to ever be fully independent, and early on, my

820
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: sister and I made it clear that we would not

821
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: be a part of the village when it came to

822
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 2: raising him. Our parents stepped up, and so did my

823
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 2: ex sister in law's family, but my sister and I

824
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 2: held firm in our position even when it caused disagreements.

825
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,839
Speaker 2: And by the way, I wouldn't disagree if Keon told

826
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 2: me this story came.

827
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: From Jen's electric would that's right?

828
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: And we're gonna read her story today, and we're gonna

829
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 2: have thoughts about it, and I'm gonna I'm gonna tell

830
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 2: you them because I'm Dakota, and that's Sophia and and

831
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 2: and that's Keon, and we're it's our job to read

832
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: this story, tell you what we think, and it's your

833
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: job to tell us what you think about those thoughts

834
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 2: in the comments below. My brother eventually divorced and remarried,

835
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: but neither my sister nor I changed our stance. When

836
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 2: I planned the celebration dinner, my brother wanted to bring

837
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 2: my nephew along. I offered to pay for a babysitter instead,

838
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 2: but he was not interested in that. I refused to

839
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 2: have my nephew come because the last time we visited

840
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 2: that restaurant together, my nephew had a meltdown and I

841
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: did not want a repeat of that at what was

842
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: supposed to be a celebratory evening. My brother ended up

843
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 2: skipping the dinner entirely. My parents, my sister, and I

844
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 2: went ahead and had a really nice time. Reddit's consensus

845
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 2: was that I was not the one and the wrong.

846
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 2: In the update, my brother actually acknowledged that my nephew

847
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 2: would not have enjoyed the barbecue spot anyway. Now that

848
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: I have moved back closer to home, my brother asked

849
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: whether I would be more involved in my nephew's life

850
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 2: going forward. I told him I'm happy to hang out

851
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 2: with them once or twice a month, but I made

852
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 2: it clear that I will not be an on call

853
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,760
Speaker 2: babysitter the way our parents are. That boundary has not changed.

854
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 2: Now we have something that says original. Am I the

855
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 2: a hole for not babysitting my nephew for ten days?

856
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 2: I thirty one mail moved back to la from Texas

857
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: for a new job. My parents live here as does

858
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: my brother forty mail, his wife, and my nephew, Connor sixteen.

859
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 2: Connor is autistic, and while he's made a lot of

860
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 2: progress since he was ten, he still struggles with a

861
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: lot of things. He's non stems often and frequently has mountdowns.

862
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 2: My brother, his wife, his ex wife, and my parents

863
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 2: are the only ones really able to calm him down.

864
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: I regularly watch him once or twice a month so

865
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 2: my brother and his wife can go see a movie

866
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 2: or hang out. I do not watch him overnight or

867
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 2: for several days consecutively, and it's always at their house.

868
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: After our argument last time, my brother and I have

869
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: been on pretty good terms. He hasn't really pushed boundaries

870
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 2: about babysitting, and we've mended our relationship quite a bit. However,

871
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 2: something came up recently that has us on rocky terms.

872
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: My brother recently got news that he was selected to

873
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 2: attend a conference out of the country. The company is

874
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 2: putting him up in a hotel for ten days, and

875
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 2: while they won't pay for his wife to go, they

876
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 2: have no problems if he pays her airfare and everything

877
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 2: and occupies the room with him. I'm very happy my

878
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 2: brother got this opportunity.

879
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: So I so we're getting the full context here. We

880
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: did read this, but there is an update that happen

881
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: this year. Yeah, yeah, so we did. Just for people

882
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 1: who are like, oh, this sounds familiar, there is another

883
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: update that we haven't read before.

884
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:16,879
Speaker 2: The issue is childcare conference happens to a line when

885
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: my parents and sister are going to New York City

886
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 2: for a week celebrate my sister's birthday. Nothing is refundable,

887
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 2: and my parents promised my sister this over a year

888
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 2: ago that they would do this. His ex wife, Connor's

889
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: bio mom, will also be out of town for work,

890
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: so that leaves me. When he called me up to

891
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 2: explain everything and ask I told him no. However, I

892
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 2: listed reasons for why I wouldn't do it. I live

893
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: about ninety minutes away distance wise, not that far, but

894
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: LA traffic makes a lot of things more difficult than

895
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 2: they should be. I don't mind making the drive once

896
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: or twice a month when I'm watching him, but I

897
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: do not want to make it ten days in a row.

898
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 2: Connor cannot I'll come to my place because I have

899
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: a cat and he is allergic. As well as me

900
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: having things around the house that are fragile. I do

901
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: not work from home, and Connor would still be in school,

902
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: so I would likely have to put in paid time

903
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: off to do it. Logistically, the longest I've watched Connor

904
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 2: was about six hours. He had a meltdown near the

905
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 2: end that I was unable to calm him down from,

906
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 2: and it was only my brother and his wife getting

907
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 2: back twenty minutes later that saved me. I cannot picture

908
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: myself doing it for ten days straight. This one might

909
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 2: sound really selfish, but I don't want to set a

910
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 2: precedent if I watch him overnight, even once I know

911
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 2: my brother and his wife would push it on me. Again,

912
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 2: I don't want that to be a thing. I'm happy

913
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,919
Speaker 2: with our arrangement of me watching him once or twice

914
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 2: a month and hanging out with him with my brother

915
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 2: and our parents. That being said, I would not hesitate

916
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 2: to watch him during an emergency, but that is a

917
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 2: totally different story. I explained all of this to my brother.

918
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 2: He was not happy.

919
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 3: I think it's good that you explained the reasoning rather

920
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 3: than just saying no. I think that that was big

921
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: of you. Also, it just doesn't seem like you're equipped

922
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: to take care of Connor. Yeah, I want someone who's equipped.

923
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, at this point I just would be like, oh, yeah,

924
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 2: you're inept, You're unable to handle this, so I gotta

925
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 2: figure something else out. Although I do think it's selfish

926
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: of you did not want to, I don't know, sacrifice

927
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 2: for ten days like.

928
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 3: This, I don't think it's selfish. It's ten days with

929
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 3: a highly autistic child.

930
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: It's not like a pet.

931
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is a child who comes with

932
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 3: a lot of just time lots.

933
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 1: It's this is like full on time. Like this is

934
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: more than just even like.

935
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 3: People go to school to take you to learn how

936
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 3: to take care of children who have you know, these

937
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 3: like additional needs. So like, I don't think it's selfish

938
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 3: to be like, I don't know how to take care

939
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 3: of your child.

940
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's not fair to the kid

941
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 1: was as long as and on top of that as ope,

942
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 1: it's not fair to each other.

943
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 3: Like I think if I think if this was a

944
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 3: child who is like young, or a child who didn't

945
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 3: really have like you know, child who just didn't have

946
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 3: the level of needs that this kid did, and he

947
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 3: was like, no, I don't want to take care of your.

948
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:04,959
Speaker 4: Ten year old.

949
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 3: I'd be like, yeah, that's selfish, but this is a

950
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 3: total I think this is a totally different.

951
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: No, I don't want to take care of your ten

952
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 1: year old because I am qualified to take care of

953
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 1: him for more than like eight hours.

954
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 3: He's never done it overnight. Yeah, like, my friend takes

955
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 3: care of a child who has like a lot of

956
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 3: special needs, and yeah, like it's a lot of work,

957
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 3: and even that is a different case than this.

958
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: He was not happy. He went off on me about

959
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 2: how he thought me being back would mean he could

960
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 2: rely on me for this, which I've said before. I'm

961
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 2: not an on call babysitter, and his wife would really

962
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 2: like to go on this trip. I said, I'm sorry,

963
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 2: but I'm not doing this. I said, I would be

964
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: happy to go and help her on the weekend he's

965
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 2: not here and hang out with Connor to give her

966
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 2: a break, but I'm not going to risk my own

967
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 2: mental health for ten days and use eight days of

968
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: paid time off to watch him for a non emergency.

969
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 2: He had a few choice words for me and hung up.

970
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 2: He got my parents involved in the family group chat,

971
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: and they surprisingly were on my side. They said it

972
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 2: would be a really nice gesture if I did it,

973
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 2: but reminded him that I've never watched Connor overnight and

974
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 2: his wife doesn't have to go on this trip. He

975
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 2: hasn't really talked to me since. I feel bad for

976
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 2: his wife not being able to go, but I also

977
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 2: don't trust myself to be able to handle Connor for

978
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: ten days? Am I the a hole?

979
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 4: I don't know, I wouldn't.

980
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an update, And nah, I don't think you're

981
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: an a hole, but yeah.

982
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a little butt there, I guess, just

983
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 3: putting myself in his shoes or even like yourself in

984
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 3: his shoes. Imagine you have no idea how to shake

985
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 3: care of like a child with many special needs. Who Yeah,

986
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 3: but he did have it.

987
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 2: He decided to do that, sure, you know, like the

988
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 2: moment that it happened, he was like, yeah, I'm not

989
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: going to be involved in any way with this.

990
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,479
Speaker 3: So it's like, but that's a different thing. That's like right,

991
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 3: why it's just his initial decision is selfish. But yeah,

992
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,040
Speaker 3: you know right now you can't do anything about that.

993
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know? Eh. Update A week later, I called

994
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 2: my brother and told him straight that he had two options.

995
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 2: Either he and his wife stay home and watch Connor themselves,

996
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 2: or they work with local agencies and care facilities to

997
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 2: get respite care set up, and I would check in

998
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 2: on my nephew during the weekend. My brother and his

999
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 2: wife tried to argue with me about it, but I

1000
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: got frustrated and cut the call off. I then went

1001
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 2: to the group chat and made my position clear to everyone.

1002
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 2: I would be visiting once or twice a month, but

1003
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 2: I would not be watching Connor alone anymore. I want

1004
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 2: to hang out with him and be present in his

1005
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 2: life in that way, but I'm not going to be

1006
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: his caretaker. I also told them plainly that they need

1007
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 2: to start working with agencies and get Connor accustomed to

1008
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 2: other people watching him, especially as our parents are getting

1009
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 2: older and cannot keep this up forever. My brother's wife

1010
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 2: eventually came around and said she would stay back to

1011
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 2: watch Connor and would not go on the trip. Redet's

1012
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 2: take was that I did the right thing by setting boundaries,

1013
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 2: but that this conversation was far from over. Yeah, I'm

1014
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:01,959
Speaker 2: update two.

1015
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 3: It will keep going on forever because if he's a

1016
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: child who can is not expected to ever be able

1017
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 3: to live alone. Yeah, this is always going to be

1018
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 3: a thing, because I think a lot of times parents

1019
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 3: with autistic children, like children who have these this level

1020
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 3: of need. I mean, like you, you are signing up

1021
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 3: for a lifetime of being a caretaker, which is hard.

1022
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Update two two weeks later, my sister in law

1023
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 2: reached out and apologized to me. She explained that in

1024
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 2: her own family growing up, aunts and uncles were deeply

1025
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 2: involved in each other's lives, and that was simply the

1026
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 2: norm she knew. She said she was genuinely caught off garden.

1027
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 2: My sister and I pushed back against that kind of dynamic.

1028
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,320
Speaker 2: She acknowledged that she had been trying to force something

1029
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 2: that was not there, and said she would do better

1030
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 2: going forward and respect where I stand. My brother also

1031
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 2: told me that in a few months they're hoping to

1032
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 2: feel comfortable enough to start leaving com or overnight at

1033
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 2: a respite care facility, which felt like a real step forward.

1034
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 2: I had a frank conversation with my brother about the

1035
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 2: bigger picture too. I told him that if anything ever

1036
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 2: happened to him and his wife, I would make sure

1037
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: that their assets and savings were used to take care

1038
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 2: of Connor and everything he needs. But I was equally

1039
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 2: clear that I will not be taking on any kind

1040
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 2: of caretaker role, not now and not ever. I would

1041
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 2: visit Connor at whatever facility he's in, but that is

1042
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 2: where my involvement ends. Reddit felt it was a good

1043
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: start too and necessary conversation, but pointed out that my

1044
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 2: sister in law still needs to fully grasp that watching

1045
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,240
Speaker 2: a child with complex needs is a completely different ask

1046
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: from typical babysitting. Update three eight months later.

1047
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 1: So this is the new updates. Yeah, so we'd actually

1048
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,720
Speaker 1: got all of that before. This is the new update.

1049
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 2: Oh boy, this is my here. Schmeddz is saying what

1050
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 2: I'm feeling. I have autistic kids and understand not being

1051
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: a caretaker. However, the strong stance on not helping feels off.

1052
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 2: That's what feels weird to me is that it's like this, like,

1053
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 2: no matter what happens, I will never develop the skills

1054
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 2: to help you guys. That's what it is.

1055
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 1: That's it's a skill.

1056
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 2: I know it's not o PE's job, but sometimes you

1057
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 2: do ship that you don't want to do because it

1058
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 2: helps out your family, or it helps out people who

1059
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,359
Speaker 2: are close to you that you care about. So and

1060
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 2: he's and he can still develop those skills while maintaining

1061
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 2: because he's already got the skill of setting boundaries where

1062
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 2: you can go, hey, this is what I'm willing to do.

1063
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 2: And sure you're not willing to be a caretaker in

1064
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 2: any capacity whatsoever. That's fine, but it does make me

1065
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 2: go what. But but it's it's winning, it's whatever. But

1066
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just a little grit.

1067
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: It's more than learn in a day. But I think

1068
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,439
Speaker 1: it's also the thing of like our grandparents, like, oh,

1069
00:51:56,560 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: our our parents take like his Connor's grandparents taken, you know,

1070
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: can take care of them. I can take care of them.

1071
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 1: But what happens if we're gone? What? Then?

1072
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's there's there needs to be a more

1073
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 2: long term solution.

1074
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:10,760
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just think it's a lot harder

1075
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 3: than you might think.

1076
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 2: Girl, I'm not saying it's easy. Yeah, it's just making

1077
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 2: me go.

1078
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,440
Speaker 3: I have a lot of family friends who have like

1079
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 3: very you know, children with a lot of needs, who

1080
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 3: children who will never be able or like adult children

1081
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 3: who will never be able to live on their own,

1082
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 3: and it is it's really hard and it's not something

1083
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 3: that everyone is equipped for, even if they got all

1084
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 3: of the it's like taking It's like someone who just

1085
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 3: doesn't have the IQ trying to learn to become a

1086
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 3: rocket scientist or like an astronaut, you know, like some

1087
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: people just can't do that, no.

1088
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 1: Matter how the step up to the plate.

1089
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 3: Like yeah, like, no matter how much you read about it,

1090
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 3: you just will never be equipped. Like that's why some

1091
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:57,280
Speaker 3: people don't have children.

1092
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 1: There's a third.

1093
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 2: Update eight months later, so well, a lot has happened.

1094
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 2: After a few months, my brother got sister in law

1095
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 2: and my former sister in law on board with respite care.

1096
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 2: It wasn't particularly easy for any of them, and Connor

1097
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 2: did not take well to the first few attempts, but

1098
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: thanks to some really awesome staff and caretakers apologize for

1099
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 2: not knowing the right term, he was able to be

1100
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 2: left in their care for a few days, then up

1101
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: to two weeks.

1102
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 3: That's huge, but also just big news for Opie's brother

1103
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 3: and sister in law to now know that they have

1104
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 3: an option of people that are equipped to care for

1105
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 3: their son and like you know, are able to because

1106
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 3: it's just so much work, like able to have that

1107
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 3: kind of respite for themselves.

1108
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 2: My brother and sister in law were pretty nervous at first,

1109
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,040
Speaker 2: lots of phone calls to check up and whatnot, but

1110
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 2: they've been able to go on a few trips they

1111
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 2: had been wanting to go on. I was pretty happy

1112
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 2: for them. Connor also has gotten a lot better overall.

1113
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 2: They said, He's still likely never going to be able

1114
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 2: to live by himself, but he throws far fewer temper

1115
00:53:56,760 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 2: tantrums and overall is just pretty much nonverbal a few

1116
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 2: stems and habits. Additionally, my parents sold their house and

1117
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 2: moved into a retirement community where they also seemed to

1118
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 2: be really enjoying themselves. Now the bad my uncle had

1119
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 2: a Christmas party that a good deal of the family

1120
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 2: was invited to. My brother and sister in law and

1121
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 2: Connor couldn't make it, nor could my parents. I went

1122
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 2: and had a good time. During the party. Another uncle

1123
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 2: will call Jeff, came up and asked if I could

1124
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:32,439
Speaker 2: watch his daughter, Stacy sixteen female, for a weekend while

1125
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: he and his wife go on an adult's only wedding

1126
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 2: in another state. He and his wife are somewhat overprotective

1127
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 2: when it comes to Stacy, but just in the we

1128
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 2: don't feel comfortable leaving her alone for the weekend versus

1129
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 2: being complete helicopter parents. Stacey is a good kid outside

1130
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: of calling my chemical romance dad rock. I said, sure,

1131
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: Stacey was there, and I told her we could go

1132
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 2: to Disneyland for one of the days and she's welcome

1133
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 2: to bring a friend my treat. She was very excited

1134
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 2: about that, and honestly, see me too. I hadn't been

1135
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 2: to disney in a few years now. Good stuff, So

1136
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 2: I thought the next weekend, I was over at my

1137
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 2: brother's place to drop a few things off and hang out.

1138
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,240
Speaker 2: I told him and sister in law that I wouldn't

1139
00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 2: be coming over on that particular weekend because I'd be

1140
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 2: watching Stacy for the weekend, but i'd come by next weekend.

1141
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 2: He said, sounds good. Sister in law got quiet. She said, oh, well,

1142
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,400
Speaker 2: you can take Connor next weekend to Disneyland too. I

1143
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 2: think he'd like that. I said, no, Well, my parents

1144
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 2: took him to Disneyland once when he was a few

1145
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 2: years younger, and left after about an hour. They said

1146
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 2: it was a miserable experience for Connor and he was

1147
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: super over stimulated. I told her if they ever want

1148
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 2: to go to Disneyland, I'll happily tag along. But I'm

1149
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: not taking Connor with Stacy and I when even they

1150
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 2: haven't taken him to Disneyland and seen how it affects him.

1151
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: That's crazy to'd be like, oh, you should, that sounds fun.

1152
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 1: Take him with you. Yeah, we've never done it, but

1153
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 1: you'll have fun.

1154
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 3: He'll love that. No, you wouldn't.

1155
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 1: I think it's like a I get it, like it's

1156
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 1: a good in a big getting like yeah, you didn't

1157
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: really think that one through. You're like, oh, that sounds

1158
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: like a fun idea for honor. But I would look

1159
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 1: at them and be like, did you think about it?

1160
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, your son just isn't like Stacy, and that is

1161
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 3: just a fact.

1162
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: I said, it's not fair to any of us to

1163
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:17,919
Speaker 2: be on the hook for that, and she blew up.

1164
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 2: She went off on how he's gotten so much better

1165
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 2: and how he's so better behaved and has a ton

1166
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 2: more coping skills. I said, I know. I said, I

1167
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 2: was proud of her and my brother forgetting him where

1168
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: he is now, and that I laid down last time

1169
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 2: what I was willing to do taking him out for

1170
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 2: the day without either parent was on the not willing

1171
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: to do section. That's that she went on ranting about

1172
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 2: how I'm a horrible uncle and it's a good thing

1173
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 2: I don't have kids. I said, I agree on the

1174
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 2: not having kids part. I don't think that's something that'll

1175
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 2: ever be in my future. I like kids. I couldn't

1176
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 2: imagine raising them myself. She called me a few expletives

1177
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 2: and went into their bedroom and slammed the door. He

1178
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:04,320
Speaker 2: told me that she's in a few groups for parents

1179
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 2: of kids with autism, and they've been shaming her for

1180
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 2: having uninvolved aunts and uncles my sister and I. I

1181
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: asked him what the f they meant by that, and

1182
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 2: rattled off everything I had done for Connor, be it

1183
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 2: financially or anything else. He said, he knows, and he's

1184
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 2: brought that up and told them and her that, but

1185
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 2: they seem to zero in on they don't babysit. Do

1186
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 2: they actually love him?

1187
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: Ah? F that f that?

1188
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, how are you an autism? I would leave

1189
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 3: that group. I would leave that group because they are

1190
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 3: not being very supportive of this kid's autism, and.

1191
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 1: Like they just can't compare.

1192
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also just like stupid to compare two children

1193
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:48,760
Speaker 3: who may have completely different, you know, experiences and reactions

1194
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:49,200
Speaker 3: to things.

1195
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 2: Even her own family has apparently given her grief for

1196
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 2: the fact that my sister and I don't babysit or

1197
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: take him on outings or have him over.

1198
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 1: Did they forget he can't come over to your spot?

1199
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 3: Is allergic to cats?

1200
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: Oh?

1201
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 2: They?

1202
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: I want to also ask has her family done anything

1203
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 1: for him? How much have they done for him?

1204
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,040
Speaker 3: I assume that they if they're making those comments, they

1205
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,080
Speaker 3: hopefully would happen.

1206
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: I would love to know. Yeah, I would love to know.

1207
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 2: He didn't defend them, but he didn't condemn them either.

1208
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 2: I asked brother to brother if they were in therapy

1209
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 2: for all this. He said yes, he said, she really

1210
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 2: loves him and Connor, but she's also a big people

1211
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 2: pleaser and has a lot of family values that aren't

1212
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 2: being met.

1213
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 1: Do you want I'm sorry, but do you want to

1214
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 1: take a step back from that previous update or that

1215
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 1: previous post that she's well, she was comparing her lifestyle

1216
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: to theirs, where she's like, oh, yeah, my uncle's and

1217
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 1: aunts were really involved, but I didn't grow up like

1218
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 1: you guys did. So sorry, I'm gonna step back from.

1219
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 2: That trying to respect that. And then your family got

1220
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: in your ear and said she said no, which I

1221
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 2: still I still do think because like you said, like

1222
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 2: in the case of an emergency you'd be willing to

1223
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 2: look after him, you still should have some level of skill,

1224
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: you know, development in like maybe understanding how to try

1225
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 2: to diffuse his meltdowns. And I know it's not like

1226
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:20,439
Speaker 2: jingling keys, but like you gotta have some level of

1227
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 2: you know. I I yeah, it, I've I It's not

1228
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 2: something you can put on people. But it's like I've

1229
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: had friends that have, you know, siblings that are like

1230
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 2: severely autistic, and it's you know, a disability and it's

1231
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 2: very hard. But it's like that's kind of a form

1232
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 2: or function of like family is. It is a net

1233
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 2: of support. And again it's not like you're a bad

1234
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 2: person for not bid wanting to step up, but it's

1235
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 2: just like it's just something that is baked into the

1236
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 2: social contract at some level, you know. But again, is hard,

1237
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 2: it's hard. He said. She got really sad that my

1238
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 2: parents sold the house because now they can't host Connor anymore.

1239
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 2: They still visit and see him a few times a month,

1240
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 2: but it's not like before. I asked if there was

1241
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 2: anything else he was comfortable sharing. He said their sessions

1242
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 2: just usually devolve into her hounding him to ask me

1243
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 2: and my sister to be more active. I was shocked.

1244
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 2: I brought up how many times I've said I'm not

1245
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 2: doing that, how my sister has gone essentially low to

1246
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:38,000
Speaker 2: no contact and she's still bringing that up. He said, yes,

1247
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 2: she is never going to be happy unless she has that.

1248
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 2: He begged me to come around. He'd pay me, he'd

1249
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: pay for my time off, he'd move closer to me,

1250
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 2: if that's what it would take. I said, no, none

1251
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:54,760
Speaker 2: of that. I'm not doing any of that. I told

1252
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 2: him I thought we him, my sister in law, and

1253
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 2: myself had an understanding about what my role was going

1254
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 2: to be that they promised it was going to be okay.

1255
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 2: He was in tears, saying I know, I know, but

1256
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 2: and went on about how it would make her world

1257
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 2: if I could just do some of the things she's asking.

1258
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 2: I knew it was a lost cause. I gave him

1259
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 2: a big hug and told him I'd always love him.

1260
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 2: I went to go hug Connor too. I told him

1261
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 2: that I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I

1262
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 2: can't keep getting flooded and hounded by these requests. It's

1263
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 2: not fair to me. I asked that they both no

1264
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 2: longer contact me and let my parents know anything important,

1265
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,040
Speaker 2: and they would relay that to me. He was on

1266
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 2: the couch stunned when I left. I felt horrible, but

1267
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 2: thinking about being asked to do that again and again

1268
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:50,959
Speaker 2: was something I couldn't imagine going through again. I called

1269
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 2: my parents and told them what happened. They were upset

1270
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 2: but understood. They were very unhappy that she kept pushing

1271
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 2: when she said she'd stop. I told him I was

1272
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 2: getting a new number and to please not share that

1273
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 2: number with them. I also said I did not mind

1274
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 2: if they bring them up in our conversations or mention them,

1275
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: as I don't hate them, but ask that they not

1276
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 2: broach the topic of reuniting or talking again. I don't

1277
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 2: think that's something I can mentally handle. Just to be safe,

1278
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 2: I called my housing office the next day and asked

1279
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 2: if I could break my lease and move to a

1280
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 2: different complex they own in a different part of the city.

1281
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 2: They were thankfully very understanding and had no problem with it.

1282
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 2: But boyle boy, does something still not feel right to me?

1283
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 5: Just something, just a lit of something op he's doing

1284
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 5: nothing wrong objectively, nothing that they're doing is wrong or

1285
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 5: or outside of their you know, their rights to do

1286
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 5: as a independent human being with their own life.

1287
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 2: But boyle boy does something just something just sticking in

1288
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 2: my crawl about how hard this guy's willing to go?

1289
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 1: Said, what do you mean how hard?

1290
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, like cutting off your brother entirely becautting.

1291
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: And not because he's put up his boundary.

1292
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 2: It's his wife, and you know how he's just saying, nope,

1293
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 2: oh you're a bad person. I don't know what you're

1294
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 2: talking about. You should probably get out of that therapy session.

1295
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: But then it's just like this has been approach.

1296
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 2: That harder or easier to do. Is just saying that

1297
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 2: out loud, harder or easier than cutting off your brother

1298
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: in perpetuity.

1299
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 1: I think it's just because they keep coming to op

1300
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: and it's just like there's always a butt, there's always

1301
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 1: an an, there's more we want more like you get

1302
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 1: every time. It's like Opie's like, why we've settled on this,

1303
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 1: We've come to a conclusion, but now it's always changing.

1304
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 1: It's like I give you what you want, but then

1305
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 1: you want a mile, you want more I think, and

1306
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:50,960
Speaker 1: you call me bad things. Yeah, because like again, I

1307
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 1: don't think he's.

1308
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 2: In the wrong, but there's something about the approach that

1309
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 2: I don't like.

1310
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 3: I think that if OLA's brother came to Ope, it's say,

1311
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 3: in a year's time, and said, you know what, you're right,

1312
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I will I will tell my wife that

1313
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,960
Speaker 3: that you know, she can't keep asking to do that,

1314
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 3: I think Ope would. I think he would say, yeah,

1315
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 3: let's retry this relationship. But I think the issue here

1316
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 3: was that the brother said, no, I need you to

1317
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 3: do this for my wife. I need you to do it,

1318
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:23,560
Speaker 3: and Opie said, I can't. Are you going to be

1319
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 3: okay if I can't do that? And he was like no.

1320
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,280
Speaker 3: I think that was the issue.

1321
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 2: But anyway, Opi continues, I'm happy Connor is doing better

1322
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 2: now and my brother and sister in law and take

1323
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:35,000
Speaker 2: trips on their own with him being taken care of.

1324
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 2: I'll probably take a trip to Europe this summer to

1325
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 2: clear my head. I really wish things had worked out differently,

1326
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 2: but in the end, all of you were right. It

1327
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 2: was never going to be enough for them, and it

1328
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 2: took me going no contact for them to stop. I

1329
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 2: really hope they do okay in the future. I'll always

1330
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 2: love my brother and Connor just going to have to

1331
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 2: be from Afar now. Also, Disneyland was a blast. Oh

1332
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 2: my god, Galaxy's Edge was amazing. You still can't stomach

1333
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 2: how expensive it's gotten though. Comment one where are sister

1334
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 2: in law's family in all this? And Opie says, they're

1335
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,680
Speaker 2: in the Midwest. They refer to where we live as

1336
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:12,320
Speaker 2: commie Fournia and won't come out here.

1337
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 1: See again, they're the ones to I knew it, yeah,

1338
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 1: because they were like, they're calling out him because he's

1339
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 1: he's like forty forty an hour away, but it's.

1340
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 3: All those vaccines that gave your son the baptism.

1341
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 1: They're the ones who candition out. They can say it

1342
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 1: from where they are, but if they were in his position,

1343
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 1: they were like, oh no, we didn't say that. We

1344
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:33,760
Speaker 1: can't do that.

1345
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, well where she's talking about. It's like, well,

1346
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 2: my aunts and uncles said, well where are they? Where

1347
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 2: are they now? They're like, you have to move back

1348
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 2: to the Midwest for us to help you, which is

1349
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 2: even that. It's like, that's honestly, like, that's that's not

1350
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:48,600
Speaker 2: even an unfair ask, but it's like, if you're at

1351
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 2: a point where that's what you need, that you gotta

1352
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 2: move there. I don't know what to tell you. I

1353
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:57,120
Speaker 2: would be reluctant too, because they sound like lovely people

1354
01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,000
Speaker 2: who are fun to hang out with. Anyway, She's okay,

1355
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 2: okay with that, but me being unwilling to babysit is

1356
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 2: apparently a huge deal. Comment two says, well, those are

1357
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 2: support groups. Dang hope, he says, from what my brother said,

1358
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:13,600
Speaker 2: most of the people in this group are really nice

1359
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 2: and supportive, but there's a few that really play on

1360
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 2: the family helps family no matter what that we're in

1361
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:23,560
Speaker 2: her ear about things and nope, he says, yes. She

1362
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,960
Speaker 2: comes from a different culture where it's very much everyone

1363
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 2: is the village mindset, while my family is don't set

1364
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 2: yourself on fire to keep others warm. My parents obviously

1365
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 2: would really enjoy if I was more involved, but they

1366
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 2: learned that wasn't going to be the case, and we're

1367
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 2: happy with whatever I was willing to do. And that

1368
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 2: is the end of that story. Hey, it's Dakota, your

1369
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 2: favorite goofball host here, and we're going to get back

1370
01:06:50,720 --> 01:06:52,880
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1371
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:53,920
Speaker 2: our sponsors.

1372
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 3: Hi, husband and I join my family for a holiday,

1373
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 3: but we got totally ignored.

1374
01:06:58,720 --> 01:06:59,880
Speaker 2: Uh dream holiday.

1375
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 3: For the last two years, my family, parents' bus siblings

1376
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 3: have been booking a family vacation together. I missed the

1377
01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 3: first year because I was newly married, but I went

1378
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:12,480
Speaker 3: the second year and overall it was fun, although my

1379
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 3: eldest sister in law definitely got on my nerves. By

1380
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Life in Progress and if

1381
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 3: you want to spit your own stories, go to the

1382
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 3: r slush Okay, storytime supped it. I'm Sophia, I'm Nigoda,

1383
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 3: I'm ke On, and we're here to give good vice. Goofy,

1384
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

1385
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

1386
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 3: do in the comments, and Opie says. All my siblings

1387
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 3: have kids ranging from six months to eight years old.

1388
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:39,160
Speaker 3: My husband and I are the only ones without kids. Recently,

1389
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 3: we bought our first house and are in the middle

1390
01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:45,240
Speaker 3: of renovations, so money is tighter than usual Because of that.

1391
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:48,560
Speaker 3: Whatever holiday we booked this year will likely be our

1392
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:53,280
Speaker 3: one main trip. My family is currently planning another vacation

1393
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:57,360
Speaker 3: around the same time we'd ideally want to travel. The

1394
01:07:57,480 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 3: issue is that their idea of a holiday is a

1395
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 3: very kid focused, which makes sense, while if my husband

1396
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:05,640
Speaker 3: and I do a trip on our own, we'd want

1397
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 3: something more relaxed or adult oriented. That said, I know

1398
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:11,640
Speaker 3: I'd probably still have a lot of fun with my family,

1399
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 3: and I don't want to feel like I'm missing out

1400
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:17,920
Speaker 3: or distancing myself. So I'm torn. Do I suck it

1401
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 3: up and go on the family vacation for the mems

1402
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 3: in the time together, or do I skip it this

1403
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 3: year and prioritize a holiday that better fits where my

1404
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 3: husband and I are Right now, I'm feeling guilty either way,

1405
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:31,759
Speaker 3: guilty for missing family time or guilty for spending money

1406
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:34,879
Speaker 3: on a trip that may not fully feel like our vacation.

1407
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 3: Would love advice from anyone who's been in a similar

1408
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:41,200
Speaker 3: situation or as thoughts on how to approach this without resentment,

1409
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 3: And we do have an update, But what do you think?

1410
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 2: I think you should go on your vacation, leave your

1411
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 2: life whoever's there, it doesn't matter, go live your life

1412
01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 2: or your husband.

1413
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 3: I have a slightly different suggestion, which is if you

1414
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 3: think that you'll have fun on this trip, then go

1415
01:08:58,040 --> 01:08:59,639
Speaker 3: on it, but stay somewhere else.

1416
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 2: Oo smart.

1417
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. So then, like, unless you're going to like Disneyland

1418
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 3: or something that's you know, almost entirely kid oriented. Uh.

1419
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 3: If let's say you were going to I don't know,

1420
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:18,559
Speaker 3: Paris or whatever, and they were doing kid associated things like.

1421
01:09:18,479 --> 01:09:20,880
Speaker 2: Come on, kids, we're gonna run through the catacombs. They

1422
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:24,320
Speaker 2: love that. They love the Lost in the Underground Catacomb

1423
01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:24,920
Speaker 2: even better.

1424
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 1: Disneyland Paris, Disneyland Paris.

1425
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 3: There you go. They go to Disneyland Paris and then

1426
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:33,920
Speaker 3: you walk around the catacombs, which our fun adultisney But

1427
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 3: I think that maybe depending on where you are, that

1428
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 3: would give you a little bit of both. That's my suggestion.

1429
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:41,840
Speaker 3: Key On, do you have one?

1430
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,519
Speaker 1: No, I'm thinking about disney Lamp Paris and Ratit's whuy thinks?

1431
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:44,840
Speaker 1: All right?

1432
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:46,960
Speaker 3: Well, Keon would be at Disneyland Paris.

1433
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:48,320
Speaker 2: I want to eat that rat.

1434
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:51,600
Speaker 3: But we got an update. Hey all, I wanted to

1435
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,840
Speaker 3: give an update on my previous post where I was

1436
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:56,880
Speaker 3: torn between going on vacation with just my husband or

1437
01:09:56,960 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 3: joining my whole family parents, brothers, their wives, kids. In

1438
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 3: the end, I went on the family trip because it

1439
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:06,680
Speaker 3: was important to my husband. I really went into it

1440
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,040
Speaker 3: hoping it would be a chance for everyone to bond

1441
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 3: better and for relationships to grow. But I ended up

1442
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:16,439
Speaker 3: noticing something that is apparently not new, just something I

1443
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 3: hadn't fully processed before. And honestly, it started from the

1444
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:23,240
Speaker 3: very first night. I have four brothers, and on night one,

1445
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 3: as soon as we landed, they all met up at

1446
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 3: the bar for drinks. We weren't invited, and no one

1447
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 3: even mentioned it to us, So right from the start

1448
01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:33,880
Speaker 3: my husband was left out. That kind of set the

1449
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,719
Speaker 3: tone for the rest of the trip. There were multiple

1450
01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:39,120
Speaker 3: moments where it felt really obvious. For example, if we

1451
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:42,240
Speaker 3: were standing somemmer waiting for everyone, one of my brothers

1452
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 3: with their wife and child would come over, but they'd

1453
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:48,240
Speaker 3: stand at a distance, like just far enough that conversation

1454
01:10:48,520 --> 01:10:52,559
Speaker 3: didn't really happen. A few words might be exchanged, but

1455
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:56,400
Speaker 3: it always felt surface level and short. Then as soon

1456
01:10:56,439 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 3: as someone else came along, their attention would shift completely

1457
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 3: and we'd just be left standing there on our own.

1458
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:05,920
Speaker 3: This kept happening over and over again. Even when more

1459
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:08,599
Speaker 3: people joined, they position themselves in a way that kind

1460
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,920
Speaker 3: of boxed us out like we weren't really part of

1461
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 3: the group.

1462
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:13,080
Speaker 2: Then why did they even want to go?

1463
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I thought, oh pee, I thought Opie said

1464
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:17,960
Speaker 3: like I had fun with them, or I have fun

1465
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 3: with them? Did you really not notice this behavior? Or

1466
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:25,240
Speaker 3: is this behavior only because your husband is there is something?

1467
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:29,840
Speaker 2: Or is it because you're there? And this got the

1468
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:32,680
Speaker 2: the somehow, the word of well, I don't know, do

1469
01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:35,599
Speaker 2: we I don't know. I want them there like got

1470
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:39,960
Speaker 2: down the line and now everyone's like, oh, well, you're

1471
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 2: the weird ones. I don't know, that's weird. That's just weird.

1472
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:45,719
Speaker 2: And me personally wouldn't let that happen.

1473
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're doing weird stuff.

1474
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:50,679
Speaker 2: I would just go, Hi, I'm in the circle.

1475
01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 3: Now, I'm here in the circle.

1476
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 2: Hey what up, it's circle time. I'm here to make

1477
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,200
Speaker 2: it uncomfortable, or if I.

1478
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:59,200
Speaker 3: Noticed that, I also would just like go off with

1479
01:11:59,240 --> 01:12:01,040
Speaker 3: my partner and do my own thing. I'm gonna do

1480
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:01,920
Speaker 3: my own thing, yeah.

1481
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:05,400
Speaker 2: Or that either just go okay, have your fun, or

1482
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:12,160
Speaker 2: I go what's going on over here?

1483
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 3: Another moment that really bothered me is we were all

1484
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 3: getting ready to leave one place and my husband had

1485
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:19,799
Speaker 3: quickly gone into a shop to grab some food. Instead

1486
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:22,400
Speaker 3: of waiting, everyone just decided it was time to go

1487
01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 3: and started walking out with us, no checking in, no

1488
01:12:26,479 --> 01:12:29,960
Speaker 3: let's wait, nothing. It felt like we were completely an afterthought.

1489
01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 3: We also tried to do our own thing at times,

1490
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:35,360
Speaker 3: thinking maybe a bit of space would help, but even

1491
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:38,600
Speaker 3: then the communication just wasn't there. I'd message in the

1492
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 3: group Chad asking simple things like what time they were

1493
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:44,200
Speaker 3: planning to leave or what the plan was, and my

1494
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 3: messages would go unread and unanswered. Later they admitted they

1495
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:51,000
Speaker 3: had seen the messages, they just didn't respond. So your

1496
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:53,800
Speaker 3: family doesn't like you, guys, And I don't know why

1497
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:54,920
Speaker 3: I'm asking.

1498
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, asking this question. This is full blown like

1499
01:12:58,160 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 2: sit down and yeah, talking out territory. It's like, hey,

1500
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:05,639
Speaker 2: so clearly, y'all are I don't know, living your own

1501
01:13:05,720 --> 01:13:08,880
Speaker 2: experience over here on our vacation. We brought you on

1502
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:11,320
Speaker 2: and like, oh, will, what's so? What's happening? What did

1503
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:11,840
Speaker 2: we do to you?

1504
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 3: At one point we decided to just make our own

1505
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:16,920
Speaker 3: way back and happened to bump into them, only to

1506
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:20,280
Speaker 3: realize they had already left without telling us. It just

1507
01:13:20,320 --> 01:13:23,760
Speaker 3: felt like a complete lack of basic consideration. Then, there

1508
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,599
Speaker 3: were the dinners. One night, we had a big twenty

1509
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:29,840
Speaker 3: person table and my husband was already seated when my

1510
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:33,320
Speaker 3: brothers came, they chose to sit at the opposite end.

1511
01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:37,320
Speaker 3: If that wasn't possible, they'd sit at a completely different table.

1512
01:13:37,560 --> 01:13:42,000
Speaker 3: This wasn't just once, it kept happening. On top of that,

1513
01:13:42,040 --> 01:13:44,320
Speaker 3: they didn't really make any effort to talk to him.

1514
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:48,080
Speaker 3: He was off and left out of conversations entirely, like

1515
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:50,639
Speaker 3: he just wasn't part of the group. There were also

1516
01:13:50,680 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 3: times where plans were made without including us, and then

1517
01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:56,480
Speaker 3: we were just expected to tag along afterwards.

1518
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:01,120
Speaker 2: Honestly on you guys for a facilitating any level of

1519
01:14:01,439 --> 01:14:04,080
Speaker 2: an environment where this can continue for longer than a

1520
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:05,360
Speaker 2: day and a half or two days.

1521
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:06,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm noticing this.

1522
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:07,839
Speaker 2: I'm like crying.

1523
01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:10,320
Speaker 1: It felt very subtle, and then he got like just

1524
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:13,519
Speaker 1: to the point of like this is no, you're doing something.

1525
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:17,639
Speaker 2: If we're if we're at a twenty person reservation and

1526
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:19,559
Speaker 2: I'm the only one there and y'all walk in and

1527
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:22,920
Speaker 2: sit at the opposite end of the table, I'm immediately going, Hey,

1528
01:14:23,160 --> 01:14:24,200
Speaker 2: what are you guys doing?

1529
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:26,040
Speaker 3: Hey, well, why are you going so far away?

1530
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:27,800
Speaker 2: Hey, why do you sit at the other end of

1531
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 2: the table, like, you guys don't like me at all?

1532
01:14:30,439 --> 01:14:32,840
Speaker 2: Come over A yeah, dud, do you not? Let's just

1533
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 2: make it clear right now, do you guys not like

1534
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:36,000
Speaker 2: me at all?

1535
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:36,680
Speaker 1: Am? I?

1536
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:36,800
Speaker 3: Like?

1537
01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:38,400
Speaker 1: What's the over under? What's the over under?

1538
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 3: Like? Yeah?

1539
01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:41,240
Speaker 1: Was it five days? Six days until we broke?

1540
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:41,479
Speaker 2: Like?

1541
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:42,519
Speaker 1: What's doing?

1542
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:44,479
Speaker 2: I think it was the whole trip. They probably didn't

1543
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:45,160
Speaker 2: say anything.

1544
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:47,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it felt like there was zero effort being made

1545
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:51,200
Speaker 3: from their side to connect with them and by extension,

1546
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:54,799
Speaker 3: with us as a couple. I was trying. My husband

1547
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:57,400
Speaker 3: was open and present, but it just didn't feel reciprocated

1548
01:14:57,479 --> 01:15:00,799
Speaker 3: at all. By the last couple of days, I couldn't

1549
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:04,040
Speaker 3: hide how disappointed I was. I didn't say anything directly

1550
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:06,960
Speaker 3: because we were still all together and traveling back together,

1551
01:15:07,479 --> 01:15:09,960
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to create tension or ruin the trip.

1552
01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:12,519
Speaker 3: But I definitely stopped trying to bridge the gap, and

1553
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:15,599
Speaker 3: I think it showed on my face. Now that I'm home,

1554
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:17,760
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do next. I love my

1555
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,240
Speaker 3: family and I want a good relationship with them, but

1556
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:23,360
Speaker 3: I'm also very clear that my husband comes first, and

1557
01:15:23,400 --> 01:15:27,200
Speaker 3: I won't tolerate him being sidelined or made to feel exclusive.

1558
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:32,080
Speaker 2: So this was o Pea's family family, and so it's

1559
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:35,960
Speaker 2: her husband's in laws. Yes, I get there are some

1560
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:38,960
Speaker 2: comments being like what race is everybody, because that's the

1561
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:40,960
Speaker 2: only thing that I could see that would make this,

1562
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:44,799
Speaker 2: But that would feel like like insually you should understand

1563
01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:46,040
Speaker 2: what's going on there.

1564
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, or like he would have acknowledged it, right. This

1565
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:49,680
Speaker 3: is definitely.

1566
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:50,960
Speaker 2: Why this is insane.

1567
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:54,320
Speaker 3: Every conversation that did happen, my husband was the one

1568
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:58,599
Speaker 3: starting at They didn't even try talk to them. Talk

1569
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:02,400
Speaker 3: to your family, Yeah, use your words. You're a big girl.

1570
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:04,640
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie this entire story. I thought it

1571
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:08,599
Speaker 2: was his brother's not your brother's OPI. But the fact

1572
01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:14,000
Speaker 2: that it's your family and there's been zero attempts to

1573
01:16:14,040 --> 01:16:18,040
Speaker 2: be like, hey, y'all are acting like so weird with

1574
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:20,679
Speaker 2: my husband. Why are you guys doing that? I would

1575
01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:23,880
Speaker 2: really like y'all too, I don't know, maybe talk to

1576
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:27,400
Speaker 2: him like a human being while we're on vacation together.

1577
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:29,400
Speaker 3: Like if we're all on vacation, Like if I'm on

1578
01:16:29,479 --> 01:16:31,719
Speaker 3: vacation with my whole family and I bring my boyfriend

1579
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:34,519
Speaker 3: and they all ignore him, I'm saying, oh, why are

1580
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:35,960
Speaker 3: you doing that? Why are you doing that?

1581
01:16:36,280 --> 01:16:39,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like, honestly, there's a chance nowadays that they're

1582
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:42,080
Speaker 2: just so socially inept that they're like, we don't even

1583
01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:44,760
Speaker 2: know that we're doing it. We didn't even realize it's

1584
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,840
Speaker 2: a possibility. Yeah, we're at that point where it's that's

1585
01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:50,559
Speaker 2: just sometimes Oh, well, I don't know, we don't know him. Yeah,

1586
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:52,920
Speaker 2: dumb ass, this is why you gotta get to know him.

1587
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:54,120
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

1588
01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:56,800
Speaker 3: I will say some that is a good point. That

1589
01:16:56,880 --> 01:16:59,280
Speaker 3: could be it. They just maybe don't know him and

1590
01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:03,320
Speaker 3: are very like introverted and don't want to be in

1591
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:06,080
Speaker 3: that awkward situation of getting to know someone. But it's

1592
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:09,719
Speaker 3: still a bad excuse. Yeah, he's sticking around, he's her husband.

1593
01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 2: It's like, you don't whatever, you don't know, you don't know.

1594
01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:15,080
Speaker 2: But you try that with the police officer. When you

1595
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,880
Speaker 2: break the law, you say, officer, I'm sorry, I didn't know.

1596
01:17:17,120 --> 01:17:18,439
Speaker 2: I didn't know the law. He said, so, well, yeah

1597
01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:20,280
Speaker 2: that was you still broke the law. Here's the ticket.

1598
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:20,920
Speaker 3: I didn't know.

1599
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 4: But there's a little bit left.

1600
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:24,280
Speaker 3: I don't even know how to bring this up without

1601
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:27,599
Speaker 3: it turning into defensiveness or being brushed off. Is you're

1602
01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:31,519
Speaker 3: ever thinking it? Has anyone ever dealt with something like this?

1603
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:34,719
Speaker 3: How do you address a pattern like this without blowing

1604
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:37,519
Speaker 3: things up, but also without just letting it continue? I

1605
01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:40,479
Speaker 3: really appreciate any advice, and we do have a second update.

1606
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,479
Speaker 3: Do we think that'll be if solved anything? Or talk

1607
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:44,000
Speaker 3: to anyone?

1608
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:46,040
Speaker 1: Maybe overunder, over under?

1609
01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:48,720
Speaker 2: Uh, maybe there's a conversation. Oh. Pe. The thing that

1610
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,360
Speaker 2: you need to do is the thing that you just

1611
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:53,040
Speaker 2: did with all of us, the thing where you wrote

1612
01:17:53,120 --> 01:17:56,040
Speaker 2: all this to complete strangers that I have no real

1613
01:17:56,080 --> 01:18:00,120
Speaker 2: bearing on what happens on your vacation or with your relationship.

1614
01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:03,160
Speaker 2: You do that with the people who are directly involved.

1615
01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1616
01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:06,160
Speaker 3: I called my eldest brother and asked if there was

1617
01:18:06,200 --> 01:18:09,160
Speaker 3: any problem or why this was happening. He didn't have

1618
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:11,679
Speaker 3: any problem and said he didn't even notice it was happening,

1619
01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:13,639
Speaker 3: but said he would speak with the others and try

1620
01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:15,599
Speaker 3: to change and make more of an effort. I don't

1621
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:16,080
Speaker 3: believe it.

1622
01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 1: I don't believe it.

1623
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:20,519
Speaker 3: Dang, you don't believe that he didn't recognize it at all.

1624
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:22,400
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story.