Speaker 1: Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the
Speaker 1: Red Table Talk podcast, all your favorite episodes from the
Speaker 1: Facebook Watch show in audio produced by Westbrook Audio and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 1: on Apple podcasts. On this Red Table Talk the roadblocks
Speaker 1: between you and unconditional love. I've done some very unloving
Speaker 1: things to people that I love because of my ego.
Speaker 1: That Jada baby, she ain't you. So many people are
Speaker 1: in relationships out of fear. Dare thank you? And Daddy's
Speaker 1: relationship started with lust. I do think that was an
Speaker 1: entry point. You've been married four times game, I don't
Speaker 1: think any one of them accepted me for who I was.
Speaker 1: I've heard this, and I swear I hate it. When
Speaker 1: your man asked for sex, you better give it to
Speaker 1: him all he's gonna go somewhere else. Let Later we
Speaker 1: sit down with j a former monk and a global
Speaker 1: phenomenon whose inspirational videos have been viewed over four billion times.
Speaker 1: I probably said I love you a few too many
Speaker 1: times when it wasn't real. I had a lot of people.
Speaker 1: And then we'll meet his wife, Roddy, as they share
Speaker 1: their secrets for keeping love strong. I just think you
Speaker 1: guys are the prettiest couple. I say this is an
Speaker 1: interesting red table because this particular red table has been
Speaker 1: inspired by all the conversations we've been having in the
Speaker 1: house about love. Love is a subject that we'll not
Speaker 1: have been talking about actually trade too. Yeah, what what's
Speaker 1: like your biggest question right now in regards to love?
Speaker 1: I would have basically everything, But I would have to
Speaker 1: say it can get really confusing because you know, you
Speaker 1: can think that you love somebody and then now you're
Speaker 1: feeling like, oh, now I want to control this person. Also,
Speaker 1: people always people it's this love has is a weird
Speaker 1: thing of like you have to do certain things after
Speaker 1: a certain way, treat me a certain way to unconditional
Speaker 1: love exactly. But that's how most people think about you've
Speaker 1: been married four times a game. Do you think that
Speaker 1: this is the first marriage that you have had that
Speaker 1: you feel that you're in more alignment? Absolutely with your partner? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I see the error in my you know, my other marriages,
Speaker 1: Like I remember my second husband describing me as a
Speaker 1: diamond in the rough well about me all the time,
Speaker 1: and I thought that that was so sweet at the time,
Speaker 1: and I and I thought it was, but it was
Speaker 1: really an indication that I wasn't good enough right because
Speaker 1: he had to polish me up. Oh, you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't even see it that and bring out the shine.
Speaker 1: With my third husband, he wanted me to be somebody else.
Speaker 1: I think he saw me and felt like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can groom this person and mold her into what I
Speaker 1: really want her to be. And so I don't think
Speaker 1: either one of them really accepted me for who I
Speaker 1: was at the core. And I think just in the
Speaker 1: space that I'm in right now, because you know, I'm
Speaker 1: so happy right now. You know, I'm in this relationship
Speaker 1: with my husband for seven years. We're coming up on
Speaker 1: our third year anniversaries. So what is it specifically with
Speaker 1: with your relationship with Rodney that makes you feel I
Speaker 1: just loved more or feel so differently. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: feel like he knows me, you know, and accepts me
Speaker 1: and accepts me as I am. And I just feel
Speaker 1: like he is so patient with me because I have
Speaker 1: a lot of issues. I really do. One of the
Speaker 1: things that I learned about love is allowance and that
Speaker 1: you can't try to shame someone, molds someone, blame someone
Speaker 1: into being what they should be for you. It's actually
Speaker 1: quite unlovingly and it's not for me to try to
Speaker 1: beat you down and force you into you being something
Speaker 1: for me. If I have a friend that's a cat,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to ask you to be a dog,
Speaker 1: right right right, you know, because there's one thing in growing,
Speaker 1: and then there's one thing and just asking somebody to
Speaker 1: just be something and change and be something that they're
Speaker 1: just not. And guess what, don't nobody need to grow
Speaker 1: for you? You grow? Because guess what if you grow
Speaker 1: in you don't need nobody to do nothing for you.
Speaker 1: It's true, Boom. The one thing that I have been
Speaker 1: learning about love is that ego has no place in
Speaker 1: regards to learning how to love. That I've gotten very
Speaker 1: place whatsoever. Evaluate all of my relationships and dissolving all
Speaker 1: the ego that's entangled in all of them, and just
Speaker 1: realizing that a lot of my relationships have been steeped
Speaker 1: more in ego than in love. And so now the
Speaker 1: challenge for me is and has been, just dissolving all
Speaker 1: that ego and being able to have more allowance and
Speaker 1: people aren't here for me. I'm not entitled to anybody's kindness.
Speaker 1: I'm not entitled to anyone's commitment. I'm not entitled to
Speaker 1: anything from anyone, and that anything that anyone gives me
Speaker 1: is someone decides to love me, someone decides to befriend me.
Speaker 1: It's a gift. It is not an entitlement. And I
Speaker 1: think that I've gone into a lot of my relationships
Speaker 1: feeling deeply entitled. Oh God, yes, and I don't but
Speaker 1: that that that that's that's the tricky and sidious part
Speaker 1: to the ego. And this is gonna sound crazy, but
Speaker 1: if my love being somebody's gonna be based on how
Speaker 1: they treat me, ain't gonna be too many people that
Speaker 1: I love, Let's say, real talk, because and vice versa.
Speaker 1: I've committed some acts and have done some very unloving
Speaker 1: things to people that I love because of my fear
Speaker 1: and my ego. Because once my ego kicks in, we
Speaker 1: in trouble. Because that Jada baby, she ain't cute and
Speaker 1: she's a vicious one and she's mean. Yeah the far
Speaker 1: far so. Yeah, that's real talk. Even in my pain,
Speaker 1: I've had to learn to be more open, be more vulnerable,
Speaker 1: not go to the space of ego and lay it down.
Speaker 1: You know, you gotta lay it down. Yeah. Well, and
Speaker 1: I had a conversation recently that love and fee here
Speaker 1: are fraternal twins. Any time you're trying to love on
Speaker 1: a deep level, you're gonna come up against the vicious
Speaker 1: face of fear. Okay, somebody hurts you. First thing, your
Speaker 1: friends said, girl, leave him right right right, right right right?
Speaker 1: Why are you even dealing with that? They don't care
Speaker 1: about the details. He hurt you, he did, what she did?
Speaker 1: What time to go? It's all steeped and fear. What
Speaker 1: people are gonna think about you, What people are gonna say,
Speaker 1: what it says, Is it gonna happen again? All the
Speaker 1: messaging that is being brought up that you know makes
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not worthy what it says about you,
Speaker 1: what you know? And then you have other women, You
Speaker 1: have even therapists that will tell you take care of
Speaker 1: your man first. You have therapists tell you listen, I've
Speaker 1: heard this, and I swear I hate it when I
Speaker 1: hear it. When your man asked for sex, you better
Speaker 1: give it to him. All he's gonna go somewhere else,
Speaker 1: so let him what it. What it makes you feel
Speaker 1: about yourself? All fear? Okay, So then the ego kicks in,
Speaker 1: and then the ego goes, oh, we're about to take
Speaker 1: care it is she gonna feel it or he's gonna
Speaker 1: feel it. We will be angry, but we're not gonna hurt.
Speaker 1: I always turn it into comedy, and people think I'm
Speaker 1: so mean. Comedy. Yeah, I'd rather laugh about it then
Speaker 1: be angry or cry about it. I've learned to just cry.
Speaker 1: That's how I cope. I would just rather laugh than
Speaker 1: start crying or be like f you like, I just
Speaker 1: rather be like, Oh, you're a comedian, totally get it.
Speaker 1: That's fun. You see. Sometimes we have our coping mechanism,
Speaker 1: and that doesn't necessarily mean that that coping mechanism is true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just the way. But as the mask of I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make this funny, you're ego. That's how your ego works.
Speaker 1: The ego comes in and it goes, oh, no, they're
Speaker 1: a comedian. Yeah, we're gonna make this funny, so laugh.
Speaker 1: Your father does the same thing. It's a nervous thing,
Speaker 1: but the ego creates all these defense mechanisms so we
Speaker 1: don't have to feel. What is that starts falling asleep?
Speaker 1: He'll fall asleep that's his He'll be like, la, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's just a little tired today. Yeah, and until we're
Speaker 1: like I, ego, guess what. I'm ready to actually there
Speaker 1: to handle what is in front of me, and I
Speaker 1: know that the hurt won't kill me exactly. The question
Speaker 1: is why are you in romantic relationships? Why do you
Speaker 1: seek them out? Let me tell you the tricky part
Speaker 1: about it. Okay, so you enter into a relationship based
Speaker 1: on he looks good, lustful of practice. Right, everybody wants
Speaker 1: to love how you want, all those things that made
Speaker 1: you feel like you were the only one. You used
Speaker 1: to make me feel like this, and we used to
Speaker 1: do this. But you are still trying to grasp a
Speaker 1: feeling or a part of time in your life that
Speaker 1: doesn't exist. Do you think you and Daddy's relationship started
Speaker 1: with lust or yeah, you know it's so funny. I've
Speaker 1: really been looking at that. So there's that. Let's bring
Speaker 1: ja outright. Meet j Shetty, who, if you can believe it,
Speaker 1: not long ago, was a monk. Now he's an international phenomenon.
Speaker 1: His viral videos on wisdom have reached billions, yes, billions,
Speaker 1: and its massive following, including many famous faces flock to
Speaker 1: his advice or love and relationships. Well, I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be at the table. Can we
Speaker 1: just talk a little bit of how you became a monk.
Speaker 1: I was eighteen years old, to same age as you believe,
Speaker 1: and I was just doing what every eighteen year old
Speaker 1: in London did. I was going out, had great friends,
Speaker 1: we were traveling, and so I'd go and he'd here,
Speaker 1: ceo celebrities, influences speak every single week. I'd met people
Speaker 1: who are beautiful. I've met people who are famous, but
Speaker 1: I don't know if i'd met anyone who was really happy.
Speaker 1: And then once I found out a monk was going,
Speaker 1: so I went there and for the first time in
Speaker 1: my life, I felt like I was experiencing happiness through
Speaker 1: this monk, and so I was just drawn to it.
Speaker 1: So I went up to him and networked like you
Speaker 1: do with someone anyway. I don't know your network with
Speaker 1: the monk, but I did, and I was just like, hey,
Speaker 1: I love your energy, Like, how do I get more
Speaker 1: of this? Right? So, in your journey, what have you
Speaker 1: found out about love? I think the beautiful thing that
Speaker 1: we're all doing here is recognizing that there is no
Speaker 1: just one past. So I started dating when I was fourteen,
Speaker 1: and from fourteen to twenty two I had multiple relationships,
Speaker 1: tons of girlfriends, short term, long term, pretty much everything,
Speaker 1: which is totally normal. I probably said I love you
Speaker 1: a few too many times when it wasn't real or
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what I meant. I probably hurt
Speaker 1: a lot of people in the process. Actually I know
Speaker 1: I did. I heard a lot of people. And so
Speaker 1: when it came to being a monk, a lot of
Speaker 1: that for me was unpacking all of that, and I
Speaker 1: started to look at my beliefs around love and relationships
Speaker 1: and I realized so many of them were built by movies, music,
Speaker 1: and media. I remember watching a movie and just think like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have to have a girlfriend, and I was like
Speaker 1: twelve years old or something thing, and I was just like, no,
Speaker 1: I need to have a girl in my life because
Speaker 1: that looked cool or whatever it was. And so then
Speaker 1: when I was a monk, I was sitting there and
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things I made a mistake before
Speaker 1: as well was I think I used to do nice
Speaker 1: things for women because it made me feel better about myself.
Speaker 1: So I would do the most luxurious date, like I
Speaker 1: take them to the nicest place I'd show up, and
Speaker 1: the nicest car and the nicest clothes. I give the gift.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if I was genuinely doing it
Speaker 1: for them or actually just doing it for me. So
Speaker 1: they'd be like, Jay, you're amazing, Like you're the guy
Speaker 1: when you become a monk and you like I shaved
Speaker 1: my hair off, you wear robes. It's like no one's
Speaker 1: impressed anymore, you know, it's like there's no one giving
Speaker 1: you that external validation anymore because you're almost, you know,
Speaker 1: just totally different. You're stripped down exactly, that's what I wor, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're stripped down. And so for me, that gave me
Speaker 1: the silence and the space to go inward without having
Speaker 1: the distraction or validation or self work from another mirror
Speaker 1: of anywhere else. And I had to do it for
Speaker 1: me because now there was no one there to give
Speaker 1: me that right. The monks were not going to do that.
Speaker 1: So you were celibate for those three years. Yes, not
Speaker 1: only was it, the celibacy was like working through all
Speaker 1: of those all of this and going where does this
Speaker 1: belief come from And I was like, oh, this belief
Speaker 1: comes from a movie. Okay, is that really important to me? Right? No,
Speaker 1: it isn't. It was just important because I watched that
Speaker 1: movie and my friends like that movie, and just going
Speaker 1: through that process of just taking stuff out, weeding it out,
Speaker 1: taking out the weeds. What my beliefs of love were.
Speaker 1: So what have you discovered? I know it's so hard
Speaker 1: for that one definition. I can't even wrap my mind well,
Speaker 1: you know, because the focus for me and defining love
Speaker 1: just has gotten deeper and deeper and deeper over the
Speaker 1: years because I do believe that it's peeling back the layers.
Speaker 1: It's like an onion for me. My favorite definition I
Speaker 1: can say that I think the most accessible as well,
Speaker 1: is that love is a verb. It's not a noun, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and and that to me takes away a lot of
Speaker 1: the misconceptions because people experience abuse but then their partner
Speaker 1: says I love you, Or people experience violence or even
Speaker 1: verbal abuse and then people say I love you. But
Speaker 1: if you know that love is a verb not a noun,
Speaker 1: you start to start making the right decision. You can
Speaker 1: start figure out does someone really mean it? Are they
Speaker 1: showing it and are you showing it too? Like love
Speaker 1: is a verb for you too, right, Like, how are
Speaker 1: you displaying this? How are you demonstrates me? And this
Speaker 1: is one of the biggest things that I've definitely learned
Speaker 1: and I think in my relationships and people have probably
Speaker 1: learned dating me, is that just when someone shows you
Speaker 1: their true colors, don't try to repaint them, right, Like,
Speaker 1: that's the biggest issue. We're trying to upgrade people to
Speaker 1: be our perception and we call it love. I love you,
Speaker 1: So this is why I'm doing this. Wow, what are
Speaker 1: some points to you that you could give people to
Speaker 1: help know when you're in an ego state when it
Speaker 1: comes to being in a love relationship, I feel like
Speaker 1: there's so much of our identity, so much of our
Speaker 1: egos that are steeped in our relationships, that we need
Speaker 1: our partners to feed our egos not a hat. Absolutely yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think it's a hard one. The ego feels
Speaker 1: happy when you get lots of people saying nice things
Speaker 1: about it. You get lots of people agreeing with you,
Speaker 1: even if you don't agree with yourself exactly. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: when we're getting ready, we ask a million people, how
Speaker 1: do I look right, right, But we didn't ask ourselves
Speaker 1: how do we look? How do I look for myself?
Speaker 1: But like, do I feel confident in this? Do I
Speaker 1: feel happy in this? Do I feel comfortable in this?
Speaker 1: But we asked everyone else just asking yourself, like building
Speaker 1: up your own opinion of yourself, right, That's that's when
Speaker 1: you start removing ego. And I think also ego plays
Speaker 1: its tricks when we're building your validation shin based on
Speaker 1: others faces. That's the other floors. So you're taking others
Speaker 1: floors and standing on top of them to feel higher.
Speaker 1: And you know, that's a real insidious act that happens
Speaker 1: a lot in intimate relationships. It's like I know more
Speaker 1: than you. And that's one of the biggest challenges too,
Speaker 1: with comparison with love, especially like I have so many
Speaker 1: friends will come up to and be like, oh, did
Speaker 1: you hear so and so, like they were then like
Speaker 1: they did in three months they got married, like they
Speaker 1: love each other right, or like, oh, I've been with
Speaker 1: someone for ten years and he hasn't proposed he or
Speaker 1: she hasn't done this year. And it's that comparison complexes
Speaker 1: everything because again you're going outside of yourself to mirror
Speaker 1: on to your own life and other people's relationships. Exactly.
Speaker 1: Simplifying starts with removing comparison from our lives. When we
Speaker 1: just move out comparison, it naturally simplifies where we're at,
Speaker 1: because now where the validators of ourselves and where we're
Speaker 1: moving and where we're going are eager feeds off of
Speaker 1: talking bad about others because we're basing our happiness on
Speaker 1: someone else's. Yeah, that low point which just feels so
Speaker 1: dead when I talk about it, just doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: clean up. It's just so dark. Yeah, but that's that's
Speaker 1: our ego. So I think we have to stop our
Speaker 1: ego in these moments. It's not necessarily even with our partner. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: we stick with our partner and we say, oh, did
Speaker 1: you see, like we're so much better than them, like
Speaker 1: did you see did you see them at the table,
Speaker 1: like they didn't even have to communicate? And again like
Speaker 1: you you as your your partnership is built on someone
Speaker 1: else's demise. Yes, Comparative superiority, Yes, yes, that's that's the
Speaker 1: is the problem. Comparative superiority that's the name for right there,
Speaker 1: that's it, and we all you know, we've all we'll
Speaker 1: do it. Understand. Gossiping is the worst all of it.
Speaker 1: That was something that we all struggle with. Your wife
Speaker 1: is here, Yes, we want to bring her out. Jane's
Speaker 1: beautiful wife. Riddy met the meditation class where he was teaching,
Speaker 1: but he'd already committed to becoming a monk. Three years later,
Speaker 1: when Jay left monkhood, he remembered Roddy almost instantly. They
Speaker 1: fell in love and married. Now they're sharing their secrets
Speaker 1: of how they keep their love strong. I just think
Speaker 1: you guys are the prettiest couple of so much beauty.
Speaker 1: I have one question for you, Rody. I just want
Speaker 1: to know if the fact that Jay was a monk
Speaker 1: was that off putting for you at all, because I
Speaker 1: almost feel like it's like, oh my god, he's so spiritual.
Speaker 1: I'll never be able to live up to that. I
Speaker 1: actually was at a stage when I was really seeking spirituality,
Speaker 1: and so for me, I was like, Wow, this person
Speaker 1: has become a monk and he has so much wisdom,
Speaker 1: And for me it was a more of an attraction point.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, he's just a spiritual person living
Speaker 1: a normal life but with great integrity and spiritual values.
Speaker 1: Who was the first one who said I love you? Um, oh,
Speaker 1: that's I think it's probably me. I'm guessing we kind
Speaker 1: of went from like you to love you in like
Speaker 1: a week. We were quitter, Yeah, it was very very quick.
Speaker 1: And then we were like we were getting married. We
Speaker 1: never want to be with each other and we know
Speaker 1: we're going to get married. Yeah, And I think, and
Speaker 1: I think a lot, and that's what I was doing earlier,
Speaker 1: like you have, you have lasted, you have love, and
Speaker 1: then sometimes we all come back to learning, right, which
Speaker 1: is actually the in between steps, And so I think
Speaker 1: we did that too. Like we fell in love, we
Speaker 1: knew we were committed, we loved each other, but then
Speaker 1: came the learning. But it wasn't like it was just
Speaker 1: there when we got married and we started living together
Speaker 1: in classes, and you won't skip it. You can't skip
Speaker 1: the learning, right, So you either do it up front
Speaker 1: or you do it after, but you can't skip that step, right.
Speaker 1: And I knew I was confident that I loved her
Speaker 1: because of my previous experiences, because of having lived as
Speaker 1: a monk and becoming really aware of what I was
Speaker 1: looking for in a partner and what I believe my
Speaker 1: partner would stand for and be for me. J What
Speaker 1: does she do that makes you feel the most love?
Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest ones, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to say because it's it's unique, is that she makes
Speaker 1: me feel like she's really secure with me, but also
Speaker 1: not to have her pick holes and find faults all
Speaker 1: the time. And I think that's really special for me
Speaker 1: because it makes me want to be even better, Like
Speaker 1: it motivates me, encourages me. Yeah, it empowers me to
Speaker 1: feel stronger and better and want to live up to that.
Speaker 1: What is it that Jade does that makes you feel loved?
Speaker 1: He's so emotionally available From the beginning when I was
Speaker 1: completely shut off, I was not used to being emotionally
Speaker 1: available at all, and he no matter how hard I
Speaker 1: was in my exterior, he was just constantly emotionally available.
Speaker 1: And still we've been married for two and half year,
Speaker 1: three years, we've been married for three years, and still
Speaker 1: every single day he's very expressive of how he feels,
Speaker 1: whether it's like just love yous or thank you's, And
Speaker 1: I think just those daily things on a regular basis,
Speaker 1: just letting that person know where you're at and how
Speaker 1: you're feeling, or your gratitude, like will be falling a sleeper,
Speaker 1: but I'm so grateful for that what you did today.
Speaker 1: The the idea of emotional availability, I think is so
Speaker 1: important and so strong, and I feel like there's always
Speaker 1: going to be one partner that might have more availability,
Speaker 1: and I think having at least one person like that
Speaker 1: it kind of helps you the other person open up
Speaker 1: and break through as well. And it doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you have to be this romantic, you know, love letter
Speaker 1: type person, because I'm not like that. But I also
Speaker 1: think there's such a good thing about having a filter
Speaker 1: of love that comes that you're speaking through blur things out.
Speaker 1: It's just because we haven't, we haven't taken the time
Speaker 1: out of love for that person to filter it because
Speaker 1: you're still because you're like, I've got to get like
Speaker 1: I need to win this exactly. And so actually it's
Speaker 1: me and yeah, I mean I'm not I'm all day
Speaker 1: and this is me learning like this isn't I haven't
Speaker 1: got this down at all. But I just think that
Speaker 1: is what it takes. It's like, Okay, I love whoever
Speaker 1: we are speaking to you, whether it's your partner or
Speaker 1: anybody else. In an argument, it's like, wait, do we
Speaker 1: want to give out a feeling of hate to that person?
Speaker 1: Is like what energy are we carrying with our words?
Speaker 1: And I think also just becoming really aware of how
Speaker 1: people react to disagreements, we react totally differently. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want to talk it out, and she wants to be quiet,
Speaker 1: like she doesn't enjoy diving. So I'm like, let's go.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's it's very intimidating through some people.
Speaker 1: I just want to collect my thoughts and I want
Speaker 1: to speak to you properly, but I need a moment
Speaker 1: to get over me being upset before I speak to
Speaker 1: you and me being angry before I speak to you.
Speaker 1: I'm not judgingab do that more so, how do you
Speaker 1: reconcile that difference? When we first started seeing those disagreements arising,
Speaker 1: and I remember saying to I said, you have to
Speaker 1: realize this when we are fighting, when we're getting there,
Speaker 1: it's not me versus you, it's us versus the problem, right, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not me against you. You have to see that
Speaker 1: we're a team. It's us against the problem. And if
Speaker 1: we don't see that we're a team, whether it's a problem,
Speaker 1: a person, a situation that we're versus, then we're going
Speaker 1: to lose every time together because you're winning and me
Speaker 1: losing is still a loss to us the same team,
Speaker 1: but you're trying to have a winner and a loser.
Speaker 1: So we either win together or lose together. Like, I'm
Speaker 1: a competitive person, I love winning, but I realized that
Speaker 1: in your relationship you've got to put winning together as
Speaker 1: the priority. I love winning, I love winning, but you
Speaker 1: can still win. Do you hear? That's a real that's
Speaker 1: a real thing. And for us competitive women, let's listen
Speaker 1: to this. Yeah, oh that's so huge. Oh man, this
Speaker 1: is great. Let's bring out the fifth ball questions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: their random, These are random. So you guys, are our guests?
Speaker 1: Do you believe in love at first sight? I think
Speaker 1: this is I'm going to have to say, no, it's
Speaker 1: impossible to love someone. Yeah exactly. I feel like when
Speaker 1: you see someone you feel you love them. It comes
Speaker 1: down to you to something that's physical, financial, mental, emotional,
Speaker 1: it's really spiritual or deeper. So it's like physical, like
Speaker 1: I want them, like they look, they look amazing. Financial,
Speaker 1: I like what they have, right, I like the things
Speaker 1: they have. And then it's mental it's like, oh I
Speaker 1: like the way he or she thinks that they blow
Speaker 1: my mind, But that doesn't mean you love them. You're
Speaker 1: just like an aspect of them. And then it's like
Speaker 1: emotional like, oh, I think they could feel that gap
Speaker 1: in my life, like I need them, and so I
Speaker 1: feel like that's what we're feeling. That's what I don't
Speaker 1: believe in love at first sight, because what we're really
Speaker 1: experiencing is not love. It's either last, it's without learning.
Speaker 1: It's the first thought that comes to your mind about
Speaker 1: that person. So to me, yeah, so I don't believe
Speaker 1: in love at first sight. I'm sorry, sorry to break
Speaker 1: any heart, like the alrighty, let's see what we have here, Willow.
Speaker 1: What's the one thing about love that scares you? The
Speaker 1: one thing about love that scares me is being tricked
Speaker 1: into thinking that you need it from someone else. That's
Speaker 1: the scariest thing I see is people getting tricked into
Speaker 1: thinking that, oh, my love comes from this source, this person,
Speaker 1: like this is where I get all my love. So
Speaker 1: it's almost like a dependency depend much too much pressure
Speaker 1: exactly because no one's going to live up to that.
Speaker 1: That's a really valid no one's going to live up
Speaker 1: to that pressure exactly. And if you think it's all
Speaker 1: about them, that means when they disappear, then be happy.
Speaker 1: And then people say I'm happy anymore. Yeah, that's such
Speaker 1: a powerful point. That's such a that's the really garry part.
Speaker 1: What's the number one thing that you want me to
Speaker 1: know about love? I would say my hope for you
Speaker 1: is to know that there's a source far higher than
Speaker 1: any of this exactly, that has the most unconditional love,
Speaker 1: and that this becomes your reflection. Yes, you know. And
Speaker 1: I feel like as you grow and as you develop
Speaker 1: this relationship here that everything else will fall into place. Yamn.
Speaker 1: We never had these conversations, but we're having them now.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to you three. I just feel like
Speaker 1: the fact that you're having this conversation, it's affecting so many,
Speaker 1: so many people. Table talk all right, nice, alright for Instagram?
Speaker 1: So Willow you know how to do the swipe up takes?
Speaker 1: We are here with Jay and his wit Heay come
Speaker 1: to the Red Table to talk about what is up.
Speaker 1: Swipe up Hey, Red Table Talk family. Head to our
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Speaker 1: and become a part of Red Table Talk to join
Speaker 1: the red table Talk family and become a part of
Speaker 1: the conversation. Follow us at facebook dot com slash red
Speaker 1: table talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red
Speaker 1: Table Talk podcast, produced by Facebook Watch, Westbrook Audio, and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio.