1 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back 5 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, 6 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: old listeners. Wherever you are in the world, it is 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: so great to have you here. Back for another episode 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: as we, of course break down the psychology of our twenties. Today, 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,319 Speaker 1: we are answering a question I have been having of 10 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: myself recently, Why am I spending so much money? Specifically, 11 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: why have I been using money to self sue, to 12 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: feel better about my life, to take away bad feelings 13 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: about the state of the world, probably more than I 14 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: ever have. We're talking about a phenomena that has been 15 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: popping up all over social media, in financial columns on TikTok, 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: this concept of doom spending. I also think it's a 17 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: great time to talk about money. With the holidays coming up. 18 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: The urge and the desire to spend perhaps more than 19 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: we have beyond our means is very very strong within us, 20 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about this specific type of compulsion, 21 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:32,119 Speaker 1: this specific reason why you and I, people in their 22 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: twenties are spending all this money on things that maybe 23 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 1: we don't really need. Doom spending is basically the desire 24 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: or the impulse to spend money more rapidly and in 25 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: larger sums in response to our anxiety and uncertainty about 26 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: the future and about the world. It is this tendency 27 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: to live in the now, to spend because the future 28 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: is uncertain, to treat ourselves. It's the use of mine 29 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: to manage our emotions. And you might be thinking, like, 30 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: what is the problem with that? Like I work hard 31 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: for my money, surely I should be, and you are 32 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: allowed to spend it however I want. But there is 33 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: a level where it actually gets out of control. It 34 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: can begin to become a maladaptive coping mechanism, and it 35 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: can actually in a way feed into our pessimism about 36 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: the future in a way that is a little bit unhealthy. Also, 37 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: you know, it takes away from our ability to plan 38 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: financially and to save and to achieve you know, financial freedom, 39 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: financial sustainability, to have long term financial goals. And although 40 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: we may not be thinking about that in our early 41 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: twenties or in our twenties at all, it is still 42 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: an important conversation. So in this episode, we're going to 43 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: talk about what doom spending actually is, why we do it, 44 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: what it says about the times we're living in, and 45 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: how to get control of about how you spend money 46 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: in a really healthy gentle and I think sustainable way. 47 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: Without further ado, let's get into it. Let's begin with 48 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: the basics. We always do this at the start of 49 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: every episode. I feel like a broken record, but just 50 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: so we have a clear definition of doom spending. What 51 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: I'm talking about is not just spending because you feel 52 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: like it. I'm talking about the use of spending often 53 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: that's impulsive as a way to calm a sense of 54 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: uncertainty or a threat. It is an emotional coping mechanism. 55 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: It's not buying things that you actually need. It's not 56 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: buying things that you know you want and you feel 57 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: like you should treat yourself to. It is buying because 58 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: the future doesn't feel like it's coming, and so you 59 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: want to live in the now and a way to 60 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: feel better about perhaps the future not coming, which, by 61 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: the way, it is, is to you know, spend and 62 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: to fill your wardrobe and to get the dopamine of 63 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: small purchases. To give this some historical perspective, this is 64 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: actually nothing new. It might feel this way, but we 65 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: are actually not the first generation to live through scary times. 66 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: We probably won't be the last, and economic spending does 67 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: increase in times of geopolitical uncertainty. There's also other interesting 68 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: cases of how money responds to our emotions in uncertain times, 69 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: some whacking examples. One that we found was that in 70 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: the eighteen hundreds there was this Baptist preacher named William Miller, 71 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: and he had this huge following, and he was like, 72 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: guess what, Jesus is going to return in eighteen forty four. 73 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: The world's going to end. The chosen few are going 74 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: to ascend into heaven, and so let's live it up. 75 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: You know, take out loans, build your dream house, buy 76 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: nice dinners, buy the car you want. I don't know 77 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: if they had cars, and the eighteen hundred they definitely didn't, 78 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, Like they were spending 79 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: all this money so lavishly because they didn't think they 80 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,359 Speaker 1: would have to repay their debts. And then you know, 81 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: the logic was that the apocalypse was so near. Why 82 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: not have fun now? And then the apocalypse didn't happen 83 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: and this whole community essentially went bankrupt. So we have 84 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: seen examples of this in the past. You know. Now, 85 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: obviously it's not a religious apocalypse, it's climate change, it's inflation, 86 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: it's AI, it's the twenty four hour news cycle. But 87 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: the psychological pattern is the same. When the world feels unstable, 88 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: we turned to consumption as a way of asserting control 89 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: because spending money is one of the only things that 90 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: we can do that feels like it does something or 91 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: gives us something back, and that's doom spending. Why is 92 00:05:55,960 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: that the case? Why does spending money kind of feeling well? 93 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: When we spend money? Basically, our dopamine system is activated. 94 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: I feel like you guys already know that. But it's 95 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: not just when we get the thing. It's when we 96 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: see something we like, when we anticipate a purchase, when 97 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: we click check out, when we're waiting for the parcel 98 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: to arrive, when we go and collect it. Every single 99 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: element of this process triggers the release of dopamine, and 100 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: at all those various touch points, our mood is briefly 101 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: improved and our stress is briefly lowered over time, we 102 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: learn through association that we feel better from spending. We 103 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: feel nice, and also it's accessible to us. We get 104 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: something in return, we get a good, we get an item. 105 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: So psychologically, spending functions like an emotional regulation strategy, much 106 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 1: like eating comfort food, much like scrolling social media. In 107 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: cognitive behavioral terms, if we want to go really psychological, 108 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: it is what we call negative reinforcement. The behavior, the 109 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: act of buying, of shopping removes distress, and that's pleasurable, 110 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: and so it's more likely to be repeated. So the 111 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: thing that we really need to note is that doom spending, yes, 112 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: is tied up in materialism. It's not necessarily about materialism. 113 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: It's about fear. It's about comfort, it's about control, it's 114 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: about feeling safe. Almost second, the evidence does really confirm 115 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: it's not just that, you know, we're a generation that 116 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: has more money. It's not just that shopping is more accessible, 117 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,119 Speaker 1: that delivery like is more accessible, that things come faster. 118 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: Political and global context is driving over spending. Studies and 119 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: financial reports show that impulse spending has rapidly increased since 120 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: the pandemic, and especially during the pandemic. That is when 121 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: a lot of these habits were triggered. You know, online 122 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: shopping was one of the very few joys we seemed 123 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: to have control over. I was so broke during the pandemic, 124 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: so broke, and I used to spend one hundred dollars. 125 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: I remember, I had like a little bit of money 126 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: in my bank account from my restaurant job that I 127 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: was obviously I didn't have, And I would spend like 128 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: one one hundred dollars on something and then I would 129 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: return it, and then I would buy something else and 130 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: then I would return it. I think I recycled that 131 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: one hundred dollars like five times. I even remember, like 132 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: I bought this tartan puffer jacket. I don't know why, 133 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: Like there was no weather that required me to buy that, 134 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: and then I returned it. And then I bought like 135 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: basically something exactly the same and returned that because of 136 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: the dopamine, And this is where a lot of us 137 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: learnt this habit. According to twenty twenty three data from 138 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 1: the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, credit card balances 139 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: in the US rose seventeen percent between twenty twenty and 140 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. That is the sharpest increase in decades. 141 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: Similar things happened in a lot of other countries where 142 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: credit card data is like readily available, So in the UK, 143 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: in Australia, across Europe, in Canada, across all these countries, 144 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: we could see this trend. Psychologists who are studying still 145 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: studying post pandemic consumer behavior. That sound kind of sounds 146 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: like a tongue twister, but post pandemic consumer behavior. Note 147 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: that collective trauma, economic precarity, social isolation. Basically, what it's 148 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: all created are these shorter planning horizons. The future feels bleak, 149 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: it feels uncertain, and so we tend to not think 150 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: that it's going to happen. When you ask people in 151 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: their twenties or in their thirties, people our age, Hey, like, 152 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: how far do you think in the future. For me, 153 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: it's probably only six months, And that's not normal, Like 154 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: you should be able to plan and think about your 155 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: life long term. But I think the state of the 156 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 1: world means that it's really hard to Everything is changing 157 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: so far. It's like you just can't imagine the world 158 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: beyond six months. So if you can't imagine the world 159 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: in six months, why are you going to save for 160 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: a financial goal that's ten years away, like buying a house. 161 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: Why are you going to save for a financial goal 162 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: that's fifty years away or forty years away, like retirement. 163 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: The appeal of this immediate gratification in the face of 164 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: like really scary stuff often overshadows, you know, a more 165 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: rational decision making process that is reliant on us being 166 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: able to imagine a future with us in it. Another explanation, 167 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: spending money is just a nice distraction. When you're thinking 168 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 1: about when you're hal's going to arrive, When you're thinking 169 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: about how this next outfit is going to change your life, 170 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: you're not thinking about everything else that's going wrong. And 171 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 1: this really aligns with like the infamous little treat narrative. Now, 172 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of this. I love a little treat. 173 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: I'm a big believer in little treats. It's not inherently 174 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: bad to treat yourself, and I actually think it's, you know, 175 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: an important part of self care and self comfort. But 176 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: when treat culture turns into habitual, high spend behavior, especially 177 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: when it's triggered by fear or anxiety, that's a coping mechanism, 178 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: not a reward. And add that to the fact that nowadays, 179 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: like companies and the global economy and you know, big 180 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: brands are taking advantage of that. Is it really about 181 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: us or is it being manipulated for profit? The other 182 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: day I was Insidney driving to the airport and I 183 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: saw this massive billboard that was like from McDonald's and 184 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: it said existing question mark, you deserve a little tree. 185 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: That that's a marketing con like. That is not self care. 186 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: That is McDonald's trying to get you to buy the 187 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: thing that they have designed for you, to spend money 188 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:26,839 Speaker 1: to fill their pockets. And especially nowadays, when we are 189 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 1: bombarded with targeted ads, we are streamlined into buy now 190 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: buttons and limited time offers and sales. I think the 191 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: shift from reward to regulation, it can happen really subtly 192 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 1: and is impacting a lot of us. It's impacting me 193 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: for sure. You know, there really is something to be 194 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 1: said about doom spending, the fact that so many people 195 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: in their twenties are spending more money than they probably have, 196 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 1: and the role of technology and social media. Think about 197 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: the last time you scrolled your Instagram feed. You will 198 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: see news of genocide, news of political unrest, news of 199 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: climate disasters, and then what happens after that. Add for 200 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: a designer bag, we can get away pair of sneakers, 201 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: phone case, sweater, t shirt, buy now, Buy now, Buy now. 202 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: That's emotional whiplash. You are going from panic and despair 203 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: to pleasure and intrigue. And that is not accidental. It's 204 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: engineered social media platforms, and there have been articles on this. 205 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: There have been people who have come out who were 206 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: involved in making these systems, who have come out and said, 207 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: we designed it this way. They are made to monetize 208 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: your attention because when ads make money, they make money, 209 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 1: and the way ads make money is if the site 210 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: holds your attention long enough to trigger an emotion that 211 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: will produce a sale. Fear, outrage, sadness, whatever it is. 212 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: These all heightened arousal. They keep us scrolling more and more. 213 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 1: And once you're in that heightened emotional state, once your 214 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 1: defenses are lowered, once the world feels terrible, you're more suggestible, 215 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,439 Speaker 1: you're more reward seeking, you're more likely to act impulsively. 216 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: The discomfort we feel when we flip between threat and 217 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: reward requires an antidote. We want a solution, We want 218 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: to feel better, and then this algorithm these social media platforms, 219 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: they serve it right up to us. A twenty twenty 220 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: four study by researchers in Indonesia found that exposure to 221 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 1: emotionally charged content significantly increased impulse buying in people in 222 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 1: their twenties in young adults. Essentially, after being emotionally activated, 223 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: people were more likely to buy stuff and when they 224 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: were asked why, oftentimes they couldn't really explain it. So 225 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: this is when spending because you want something, spending because 226 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: you do deserve a little treat, and spending because you 227 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: don't really know why you're spending, and because it's a 228 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: form of coping and a mo regulation. This is when 229 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: the line really begins to blur and what began as 230 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: harmless distraction as actually feeling a need like you do 231 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: need clothes and you do need things in your life, 232 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: can quietly turn into like a routine, an addiction, a 233 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: really toxic habit. So let's talk about the signs that 234 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 1: your doom spending might be going too far and what 235 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: you can do about it after this short break, So 236 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: how do you know when treating yourself has tipped into 237 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: something else? Entirely most of us don't wake up one 238 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: morning and think like, oh no, I have developed an 239 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 1: unhealthy coping mechanism. What will I do about this? Like 240 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: it really creeps in slowly, it's disguised again is as 241 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: fun as keeping up with trends. But here are the 242 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: signs that it's gone a little bit too far. Firstly, 243 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: you notice that your biggest shopping days aren't actually when 244 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: you need anything, aren't when you've just gotten paid, aren't 245 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: when you're celebrating. They actually occur when you're anxious, when 246 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: you're overwhelmed, or you're sad, Especially if you are shopping 247 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: a lot at night, big red flag inhibitions are lowered. 248 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: Often that's when our biggest feelings come about. We're tied 249 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: from the day. Shopping is the band aid. Secondly, this 250 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: one's the obvious one. You're spending beyond your means, and 251 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: you're seriously spending beyond your means. You know. A huge 252 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: thing that has boomed in recent years is these buy now, 253 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: pay later, buy and for delayed payment options. Even using 254 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: credit cards to pay for small things that aren't necessities 255 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: also comes under this. Now, I don't think these kinds 256 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: of options are inherently bad at all. To be honest, 257 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: I use Klana. I use like the PayPal for in 258 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: I don't know what it is like the for payment things, 259 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: especially because I don't get paid regularly. It like helps 260 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: me break up my budget. And I used to use 261 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: it when I was working as a consultant and I 262 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,719 Speaker 1: got paid monthly, just to kind of like make the 263 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 1: things I was repaying for weekly and monthly as well. 264 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: I think they offer flexibility, but they also allow you 265 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,879 Speaker 1: to go a little bit too far. Behavioral economists have 266 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: highlighted that separating the payment from the consumption reduces what 267 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,359 Speaker 1: we call the pain of paying. This is a concept 268 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 1: that was coined in the nineties and the pain of 269 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 1: paying is an important part of the buying process and 270 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 1: is basically the psychological discomfort that makes us hesitate before 271 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 1: a purchase. When we use later pay options, it delays 272 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,199 Speaker 1: or disguises the payment so our brain feels like it 273 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: can experience all of the rewards, a none, or a 274 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: fraction of the cost until later on. That is the danger, 275 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 1: and again they're not necessarily bad, they're not all bad, 276 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: but what it does have the potential to slip into 277 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: is chasing payments slipping into debt if they are used 278 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: for things to pay for things that are beyond our means. 279 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: Even if you want to use these platforms to pay 280 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: for your shopping, you have to ensure that you actually 281 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: have the money there to use it if you needed to. 282 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 1: And that's how you prevent the cost from stacking up 283 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,920 Speaker 1: when you have no other way to pay for these 284 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: or when the payments are due. I think something really 285 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: related to this that shows doom spending has gone too 286 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: far for you is if you found yourself deliberately ignoring 287 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:38,199 Speaker 1: bank statements, deliberately ignoring notifications, feeling a sense of dread 288 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: when you open your banking app. Financial avoidance is a 289 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,439 Speaker 1: huge red flag and a huge coping mechanism that a 290 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: lot of us in our twenties have because your brain 291 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: is trying to shield you from all the fear and 292 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 1: shame and the guilt and just keep all the good stuff, 293 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 1: keep all the purchases, keep all the dopamine. But that 294 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: cycle actually makes get worse. You're no longer aware of 295 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 1: how much is coming in and out of your account 296 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 1: each week. You don't know how much you really need 297 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 1: to live. At first, it's an easier option to just 298 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: not look, but I promise you. I have done that 299 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: when I Again, when I was working as a consultant, 300 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: I had terrible financial habits, which is ironic. Having financial accountability, 301 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: even if you really have to stare your shopping and 302 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,640 Speaker 1: you're spending straight in the face, is so much better 303 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: for you long term. So if you have recognized this 304 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 1: pattern in yourself, how do you stop now? I'm not 305 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: gonna say like, swear off spending altogether. Go cold turkey 306 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: never works. I don't think it's realistic. It's like telling 307 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: yourself never to eat sugar again. You can eat sugar 308 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: by Lake Tuesday instead. The goal is to retrain your 309 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 1: brain to replace emotional spending with more sustainable forms of 310 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: regulation and of control. So here are a few tips 311 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: of like how to start how to do that? First, 312 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: let's flip it around. If doom spending is about spending 313 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:12,880 Speaker 1: because the future feels uncertain, doom saving is about saving 314 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: because it feels uncertain. It's like a little way to 315 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: create a sense of safety and a sense of the 316 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: future in a very small, very tangible way. You don't 317 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: have to start with huge amounts. Actually, research always shows 318 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: us small, consistent you know, saving goals is key. Five 319 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: or ten dollars a week. It actually increases your sense 320 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: of confidence in your own ability to manage money, but 321 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 1: also feelings of psychological well being and feelings of self trust, 322 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: like hey, like, I'm proud of this. I'm I'm taking 323 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: this thing that I earned, that I worked hard for, 324 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: and I'm building something for my future, And the very 325 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 1: fact that it's there has this weird reverse way of 326 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: telling you that there will be a future, which is 327 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 1: really what we're trying to get down to at the 328 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: end of the day. Behavioral economist Richard Thaylor. He called 329 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: this approach mental accounting, reframing savings not as deprivation but 330 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,360 Speaker 1: as a reward, as an act of self care, as 331 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: an act of self trust, as an act of yeah, 332 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: future investment, like you're saving for the life that one 333 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: day you're going to really love and enjoy. And this 334 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: really counters the idea that we explored earlier of temporal 335 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 1: discounting or present bias, because the future feels are so uncertain. 336 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: You know, we spend more money now, but if we 337 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: save more, the possibilities for the future, the trip, we're 338 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 1: saving for the dream house. They expand I found this 339 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 1: incredibly interesting article published in twenty eleven in the Journal 340 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:52,880 Speaker 1: of Marketing Research that found across four studies, participants who 341 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 1: were basically asked to interact with realistic, computer generated simulations 342 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 1: of their future using virtual technology were more likely to 343 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 1: accept a larger sum of money down the line. So, 344 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 1: just to like roll that back, they got all these people, 345 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:16,439 Speaker 1: these participants, and they put them in these simulations. They 346 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: let them create these simulations of like really beautiful future 347 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: and they were really realistic. And then they said, oh, hey, 348 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: by the way, you actually get paid for this. Would 349 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,399 Speaker 1: you want fifty dollars now or do it mean to 350 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,439 Speaker 1: give you one hundred dollars at the end of the 351 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: term or one hundred dollars in three months. And the 352 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: people who had seen these really positive versions of themselves 353 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: and whose futures seemed really happy and bright, they wanted 354 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,919 Speaker 1: to wait. In all cases, they wanted to accept the 355 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: later monetary reward over the immediate one. And I just 356 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: think I love this study. It really brilliantly demonstrates that 357 00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 1: keeping that future self in mind, forcing yourself to really 358 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: imagine them when making these financial decisions when going to 359 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:09,400 Speaker 1: buy stuff, goes a long way. Next, the next tip 360 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: that we can really do for ourselves is just reallocate 361 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: where your money goes. Psychological research consistently finds that spending 362 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: on experiences, rather than material goods like a new top 363 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: or a new pair of shoes, leads to greater and 364 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: longer lasting happiness. Why Because experiences connect to identity, and 365 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: experiences connect to relationships, and experiences connect to a deep 366 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: sense of memory and sense of self and sense of interconnectedness. 367 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: Spending on experiences as well build stories, gives you stories, 368 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,920 Speaker 1: gives you memories that make you excited for future memories, 369 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 1: and they give you something that's going to last a 370 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 1: lot longer than plastic and a lot longer than clutter. 371 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,679 Speaker 1: And Like, don't get me wrong, I love things. I 372 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 1: love clothes, I love buying stuff I have. I have 373 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,400 Speaker 1: so many purchases that are just stupid that I still 374 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 1: really really value. But are they going to be the 375 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 1: things I take with me? No? I literally can't. But 376 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: buying the concert ticket, doing the day trip, spending a 377 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: little bit of extra money so that we can get 378 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: a nice place on the girl's weekend, Like, those things 379 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: really anchor me, and they anchor us in memory and 380 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: in belonging, and they are a great, great way to 381 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 1: form novel and exciting experiences that just makes life worth 382 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: and feel worth living. Another way, I'm full of tips today. 383 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: Another way to begin reallocating your spending that I do 384 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: is I create, and I have created a twenty four 385 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: hour rule. And friends of mine have seen me use this. 386 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,399 Speaker 1: They can tell you it works. When I see something 387 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: I want, I do not buy it right away. I'm 388 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: allowed to buy it eventually, but I have to wait 389 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: minimum to twenty for hours. I get my notes app 390 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 1: up on my phone. I write it down. I write 391 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 1: down the item, the price, the date I initially wanted 392 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: to buy it. Then I just let it sit. This 393 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: short delay activates what psychologists call system to thinking, that slower, 394 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: more deliberate part of your brain that handles logic and 395 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: that handles long term reasoning. When you give the impulsive 396 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: part of your brain pause, this system too. This second 397 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 1: system locks in and allows you to spend better align 398 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 1: it's been in, more alignment with your values. Most of 399 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: the time. You will find that the desire fades once 400 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 1: the emotional charge passes, and if it doesn't, then you 401 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,640 Speaker 1: know the purchase actually matters to you. It's more intentional, 402 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 1: it's not reactive. Like I said, I've done this for years. 403 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: I keep a want to buy list on my phone, 404 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 1: and in preparation for this episode, I was like, what 405 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: have I got on there? I haven't actually looked all 406 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,360 Speaker 1: the way back for a little while. I just add 407 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 1: things on. I cannot even remember putting some of these 408 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 1: things on the list. One of them was like white 409 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: Abercrombie jeans. I literally listened them here and Imagen and 410 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,719 Speaker 1: Willie shirt, what even is that? Like, I don't I'm 411 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: sure it's great image and Willy, I'm sure you make 412 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: great shirts. Like but I don't know what that is. 413 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: This print that says love is a kiss on the forehead, 414 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 1: super cute. I don't know what that print looks like. 415 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,199 Speaker 1: I'm sure it's great, but like I didn't need it. 416 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,919 Speaker 1: There was another thing that was on There was a 417 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: Gani key chain that was three hundred dollars. Like what 418 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: I think that was when like everybody was doing those 419 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: like trinkets on the bag situation, which I love. I 420 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: got into it, but like three hundred dollars, Like that's 421 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,959 Speaker 1: so much money, that's so much money, and like I 422 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 1: wasn't even that. I was like, thank god, I didn't 423 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: buy that. That distance like provided some clarity. It has 424 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: saved me. I think I did like a little calculation 425 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 1: of like five things, and it was totally over twelve 426 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: hundred dollars just because I waited, just because I had 427 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 1: this list. There is, of course, other ways of going 428 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: about this. I have a friend who and I'm just 429 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: gonna give her a shout out because she she said 430 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 1: she was gonna do this at the start of the year. 431 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: It is what is it like November now and she's 432 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 1: still doing it. She is only allowed to buy secondhand 433 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 1: goods for the whole year, unless it's like underwear. And 434 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,640 Speaker 1: I cannot tell you the amount of times that I'm 435 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: not gonna lie I low KEI wanted her to break 436 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: the pact. I wanted her to break I promised to myself. 437 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Emma, but like she because you know, something 438 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 1: looks really cute on her or whatever, but she genuinely 439 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,360 Speaker 1: like has stuck to it. Her deepop purchases are amazing, 440 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,920 Speaker 1: Like she's doing so well, and I just like feel 441 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: like that's another system where it's like you're allowed to buy, 442 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: you're allowed to spend, you do so more sustainably. Another 443 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: friend of mine. Albeit, I will say she lives with 444 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 1: her boyfriend. They don't have much space, but they have 445 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 1: the one in, one out rule, so she can buy stuff, 446 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,879 Speaker 1: but she has to get rid of something. And she 447 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: has a great closet. She has a full closet. But 448 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: it really allows her to be conscious of what is 449 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 1: really reflecting me. What do I really want to spend 450 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 1: my money on? Is there anything that like? Is this 451 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: really gonna bring me value? I'm gonna wear this enough 452 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 1: that I should throw something out or I should donate something. 453 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 1: It sounds simple, but it's a subtle form of what 454 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 1: we call a commitment device, a behavioral nudge, a behavioral 455 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 1: rule that adds accountability, and that reminds you that every 456 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 1: purchase does have a cost beyond money. It costs you space, 457 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 1: it costs you attention, It costs you your emotional bandwidth 458 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: as well. And I think it also allows you to 459 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: build a sense of identity through intentional ownership. Like your 460 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: life is not a trend, your emotions are are not trendified. Right. 461 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,120 Speaker 1: You can't let your emotions be the thing that determines 462 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 1: who you're going to be because you spend money to 463 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: soothe them. You really develop a sense of personal style, 464 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 1: develop a sense of a personal brand, you really develop 465 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: a sense of personal like money values. That is so 466 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 1: so powerful. I think what we're really talking about here 467 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 1: is just mindful consumption, slowing down, having a sense of intention, 468 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 1: being deliberate about what you fill your life with. So 469 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 1: many studies say our physical possessions impact our mindset and 470 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: our psychology. So don't just like fill up your space 471 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: with shit you don't need and stuff that like isn't 472 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: important to you, because then your life's going to feel unimportant, 473 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 1: and your environment's going to feel cluttered, and it's not 474 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 1: going to feel like yours. Finally, one of the biggest 475 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 1: tips to help you with your doom spending increase the 476 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: pain of paying. One of the reasons spending has been 477 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: come so automatic is that you don't have to put 478 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: in your credit card details, you don't have to hand 479 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: over cash. The other day, I bought my friend this. 480 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: I just had to do the mental math. This episode 481 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 1: will be out after her birthday, But for her birthday, 482 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: I bought her like this really beautiful I guess, like bathrobe, 483 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: like beach towel robe that she wanted for her birthday, 484 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: And it literally took me less than a minute to 485 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 1: buy it, to the point where I was like, oh 486 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:30,960 Speaker 1: is that wasn't Did I actually purchase that? And it 487 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I did. No friction, No friction. We 488 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:40,240 Speaker 1: need to reintroduce the pain of paying, the sting that 489 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: stops us from spending. Delete your saved cards on your phone, 490 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: turn off Apple Pay, turn off your one click check out, 491 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: use cash. These small bits of friction make you purchase conscious, 492 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 1: make you money conscious. Before you click by, like, there's 493 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 1: just a couple more seconds where you have to really like, 494 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: you have to go find your card, you have to 495 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 1: punch in your details. That delay again, it gives you. 496 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: It gives your brain, your rational brain, a chance to 497 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 1: catch up and a chance to be like, hey, wait 498 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,959 Speaker 1: do I actually need this? You know, is this actually useful? 499 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: What impulse am I trying to suppress here? When it 500 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,160 Speaker 1: takes energy to buy something, you have time to reevaluate, 501 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: You have time to realign it with being intentional, with 502 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 1: adding value to your life, with spending according to your values. 503 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: And I think that just makes you a much more 504 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: powerful person, and it gives you a much stronger, much 505 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 1: more strong mindset and even sense of personal identity. It 506 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:48,600 Speaker 1: goes quite deep. So to wrap up this episode, I 507 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: think what doom Spending really reveals is so much more 508 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 1: than materialism and consumption. I think it's so easy for 509 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,680 Speaker 1: people to be like you're just like you're you're just consumerist, 510 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: and like you just like spending money. It's like, no, 511 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: this is about a sense of control we have in 512 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: our twenties right now, you and me, our generation, do 513 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: you like, do you ever just sit down and realize 514 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: what we have lived through the amount of like history 515 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 1: defying events that have occurred in our lifetime and we 516 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 1: have to read about it or see it or are 517 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: exposed to it constantly. Of course, your brain wants something 518 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: certain even if that's certainty, the only way you can 519 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: get it is like a parcel at the front door. 520 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: That is for some of us, like the best we 521 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: can do right now. And so there's no shame if 522 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: that is something that you've relied on. There's no shame 523 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: if like sometimes like going on a shop, going on 524 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: a spree, like buying stuff makes you feel better. I 525 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: just want you to know about it, and I just 526 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: want you to think about whether that's actually what you 527 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 1: want from what you want from your life and if 528 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: you want to keep spending the way that you are, 529 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 1: if deep down you know it might be a problem. 530 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 1: You know, I think this is like, guys, to get 531 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: really deep. It's the psychology of your twenties in a nutshell. 532 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: This is about learning how to sit with uncertainty without 533 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 1: letting it rule you, recognizing when we're trying to fill psychological, 534 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: mental emotional gaps with things, and just gently redirecting. So 535 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for listening. If you've made it 536 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: this far, I like to do this thing you guys 537 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 1: know at the end of my episodes where like to 538 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: reward your attention span and to reward you for listening, 539 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: you get the secret code for the episode. So today, 540 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,320 Speaker 1: if you made it this far, what is something currently 541 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: on your buy list that you're putting off buying? Is 542 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 1: it white jeans? Is it three hundred dollar garning key Jane, 543 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. Drop it down below. What are you 544 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: currently thinking about buying? How much is it? Do you 545 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 1: need it or not? I want to hear what's on 546 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: everybody's lists, not in a way that like to encourage 547 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: people to buy them, just like I just want to 548 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: know for curiosity. I want to thank our research assistant 549 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 1: Libey Colbert for her contributions to this episode. She is 550 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,720 Speaker 1: a hero. She is a champion and we love her. Also, 551 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,279 Speaker 1: make sure that you are following us on Instagram at 552 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: that Psychology podcast. It's December coming up, and you know 553 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,919 Speaker 1: what that means. It means guest month. Yes, that's right, 554 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,359 Speaker 1: a whole month just of guests, just of really cool 555 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,320 Speaker 1: people that I got to talk to. So if you 556 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: want to know who's going to be on the show, 557 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,359 Speaker 1: make sure you're following us over there, or that you're 558 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 1: following us slash subscribed whatever you are listening to this episode. Again, 559 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: I appreciate you listening. I appreciate you giving us a 560 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,279 Speaker 1: five star review and your support for the podcast. And 561 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself, 562 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:47,399 Speaker 1: spend consciously, and we will talk very very soon.