WEBVTT - Todos Los Topics with Whitney Cummings 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:06.800 Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.600 have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:15.120 has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:18.000 they love and highlight it for an entire month so 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.440 that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:25.000 team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:27.920 Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:31.440 be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.720 it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.199 I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:38.720 me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:41.840 Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.680 anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.199 to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.080 have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny, 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.600 and a really important one with my fertility doctor on 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.600 freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:58.280 some special guests, so be sure to check those out too. 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.560 New episodes drop every month to you guys, rate subscribe 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.600 to Chickens and Chill. Don't forget now, let's start the show. 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:12.119 The one and only Whitney Cookie fame has changed. People 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.400 either come up to you, they know what you've had 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:16.840 for breakfast, They've seen all my specials, and their friend 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.720 is like, who's that. I was taught like you need 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:21.679 to have your children early so that you can grow 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:23.800 up with them. That stuff is wild to me, And 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.240 I think the reason that I actually am chill about 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:28.320 the kids thing is I froze my ex when I 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:32.959 was thirty three. Younger guys know that dating younger girls 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.399 is an actual liability. Twenty year old aren't that good 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:37.959 at sex? Yeah, they're still learning. I know. I wasn't 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:45.200 that great in my twenties. Hello everyone, Oh my goodness, 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:47.520 I am so excited for today's episode. It's going to 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:50.400 be a really great one. That's because I have an 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.480 incredible guest with us today. In my opinion, she's one 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:55.600 of the funniest people on the planet and I can't 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:58.040 wait to talk to her. So let's get into this. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:10.000 This is chickies and chill. I almost feel like this 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:14.040 person doesn't even need an introduction. She's a comedian, actor, writer, producer, director, 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.440 and podcast host. She also just released her fifth comedy 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.800 special Whitney Cummings Jokes on Netflix. Now you guys, okay, 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:26.480 our guest is the one and only Whitney Coomings. How 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:30.600 are you, Whitney. I feel like I just witnessed a 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:35.680 like a broadcasting math class. I wanted to do it 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:39.760 really nice for you. Okay, but the things that you guys, 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:41.960 they're gonna cut out a couple of things that I 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:46.160 just witnessed. But I just witnessed the most pro badass 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.640 gangster ship. Like that was incredible. And you know what 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:52.359 else you didn't do that was you know what, keep 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.760 all that in or pull it and put it on something. 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:57.360 Because I want people to see the way that you 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:00.000 handled like you said something away that you didn't even 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:02.960 actually want to and a lot of people and they do, 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:04.640 they go, oh, I said that wrong, and they go 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:06.960 sorry you start and they get all. You just were like, no, 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.080 this is what human beings do. And I'm just gonna 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.640 fix it and not waste everybody's time with my perfectionism ship. 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:13.360 And you just went when you said something, You're like, 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:15.720 she's here up Take three and one too, and she's 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.520 with us today. That was incredible, Thank you so And 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:22.600 then you also said something that just made me fall 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.280 in love with you, and I'm gonna steal this, which 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:28.359 is someone off camera asked you if you wanted something, 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:32.680 and you can answer you just went surprise me. Yeah, 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:34.120 you know what when I don't know what the hell 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:35.440 I want? I'm like, you know that was that was 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:36.920 actually my assistant to say, what do you want to eat? 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:38.640 I was like, I don't know, surprise me. I was like, 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.640 just make me happy today. I mean, but that's a 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.000 magical way of looking at instead of like, you know, 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.600 I want my sugar snappiece with it. You just surprised me, 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.080 and then the person that works for you gets to 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:53.680 actually feel valued and that's an incredible thing to do 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.560 for the people that work for you. Thank you. For 0:03:56.600 --> 0:04:00.440 those of you who don't know who Whitney comings is, sorry, 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:03.320 you're just you need to know, you need to know. 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.160 You need to follow her on Instagram. But really quick, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:08.080 don't you think there's a new kind of fame, Like 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.640 fame has changed. There's like people either come up to you, 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:14.440 they know what you've had for breakfast, You've changed their life. 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:17.120 They have tears streaming down your face. They've read my book, 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.920 they've seen all my specials and then their friend is like, 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:24.400 who's that. People either know you so well or they 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.040 have never heard of you. Absolutely, I completely agree with you. 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:30.400 It's like it's I'll go on in the world and 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.520 like I'll go to you know, the airport, and someone 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.279 will be crying like I know everything about you, and 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.680 they'll they'll know more about me than things that I've 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:39.240 talked about that I forgot about them, like so, how's 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.720 your knee, I'm like what. I'm like, oh, that's right, 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:45.279 I had any thing. And then the next person, like 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:47.320 I'll be at Starbucks, I'm like what's your name And 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.479 I'm like Whitney And They're like what Whitney what? And 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:57.039 I'm like nothing, nothing completely. I I totally get it. Absolutely. 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.560 When did you realize that you were funny? When did 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:02.400 you realize they you wanted to be a comedian? You know, 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:06.000 it's interesting because aspiring to be a female comedian was 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:09.520 never on the table. It's kind of like more unlikely 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:12.640 than like the president of the United States, the idea 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.159 of you know what I'm gonna there's no proof really 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:19.000 that anyone wants to hear a woman complain for an 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:22.040 hour and you have to pay them, and if you 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.760 challenge them or talk back, security removes you. Like there's 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.280 you know, I think most people are like I don't 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:28.880 want to hear my own wife talk that long, or 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:32.080 my own girlfriend, or you know. So I saw growing 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:37.120 up a lot of men that were shushing women, that 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:42.440 were like, stop whining, stop complaining, that women's feelings were 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:46.800 a burden. You know, women's feelings were dramatic and hysterical 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:51.560 and hyper vigilant. We were crazy, we're psychos. And I 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.360 watched that and then, you know, I would watch women 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.800 be kind of shape shift for a man and trying 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:01.480 to sort of be this perfect step housewife, and then 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.800 when the guy wasn't around, it was hilarious. It was 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.080 just like joke, joke, burn burn, you know, and I 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.120 was like, this is so fun I know, this is funny. 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:13.560 I think that, you know, guys are so trained to 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:15.400 believe as soon as a woman has an opinion, or 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.680 as soon as a woman you know, she's you know, 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:20.240 judging you, she's emasculating you, whatever. But I was like, 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:24.520 I know the medicine that I got growing up. You know, 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.640 my favorite show growing up is also Roseanne, where it's 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.680 a family that's just roasting each other. That's how That's 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.600 how my family we would just make Thanksgiving Christmas. I mean, 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.880 looking back, it would probably be categorized as like emotional 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:39.720 abuse today. And also my last name is Coming, so 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.000 I also got bullied so much. I had to learn 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.800 to be able to defend myself. And is it still 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.320 very now that you're like in it? Like, is it 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:52.240 still very male dominated? You know? It's interesting because I 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:55.120 don't think it has is a bad thing if something 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.119 is dominated in some way, like no one complains about 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:02.840 like women dominate the field of nursing, like no one's 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.440 men aren't mad about that. You know. It's like the 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:10.560 veterinary practice. Federate vets are women. There's some things that 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:13.280 it's okay. It's just doesn't matter, you know. I think 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.280 that when we get so wrapped up and this is 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:18.280 male dominated, the men in comedy are more sensitive than 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.760 most of the women I know. So it's like, is 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:25.760 it male dominated these guys? I've seen most of these 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:29.840 men cry over a negative comment on Twitter. Now that 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.480 you just said that, I guess it's been embedded, you know, 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.040 And I've seen it in my genre, it is more 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:36.960 male dominated but now that you said it that way, 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:39.720 I'm like, you know what, I like that. I'm gonna 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.320 adopt that because I'm like, you know what, You're right, 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:46.120 we have some masculine qualities which are traditionally masculine. I 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:48.520 think those labels just have to change. And I'm not 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.440 saying it we're all one gender. I have my own 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.640 thoughts about all that. Ship That's what my whole New 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.320 Hours about. But this is like comedians. You've heard their 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.480 podcast and the reason they're all getting so successful and 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:00.280 going to this other level, Dak Shepherd and Loot and 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.680 all the it's because they're being vulnerable. They're going on 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.560 podcasts or they're going up on stage and they're going 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:08.000 I feel insecure, I have depression. That's what the women 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.320 are supposed to be doing, talking about their feelings. And 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:12.880 then I go on stage and I'm just like I'm 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.000 doing the dick jokes and I'm like, i feel like 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.680 I'm the only man doing comedy, you know. So it's 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.480 like it's really hard because comedians have a lot of 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.120 traditionally feminine qualities, and the women that do it have 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:28.120 some traditionally masculine qualities. So it's kind of like I 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.640 get it give and take in a weird way. Yeah, 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:32.520 I kind of like put. But in terms of you know, 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:36.000 I think that the domination of the business because now 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:40.000 the internet on YouTube able to do podcasts, there's less skatekeepers, 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:44.079 and the gatekeepers used to be male, and now the gatekeepers, 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:46.840 you know, if anyone it's going to be like the 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:50.800 YouTube algorithm or whatever. So I think it's it's changing, 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.600 but I don't think it necessarily has to, because comedy 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.840 is a reflection of what's going on in the world, 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:59.640 and comedy is fashion, and to make a comedian takes 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.960 a really long time. So I believe that there's a 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:06.920 lot of female comedians right now. They're in the gestation period. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.240 So it can't change right away. You can't just go, 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.160 we want more female. They haven't been made yet. They 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.280 haven't been inspired enough to get into this business by 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.800 the people like us, you know, because when Phillis Diller 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.120 made Joan Rivers and then a couple others, and then 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.880 Joan Rivers made you know, Sarah and a couple others. 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.160 So it's gonna keep getting bigger. But I always tell 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.800 female comics they're so eager now to go, like we 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.839 want this to be equal, but it's like, you're you 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.160 don't have the skill yet, and the worst thing you 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.280 can do as a female comedian is gets seen before 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:39.800 you're ready, and then it's well, female comics suck. We 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.319 knew it. People are like, oh, maybe I feel like 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.720 a bad feminist when I say this, but I'm like, yes, 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.440 you are a female, Yes you're funny, but you've only 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:48.400 me doing this for three years. You don't deserve to 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:50.800 be on that stage yet. You're so fucking honest, I love. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:52.680 I'm just telling you. I'd say the same thing to 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.200 you know, but the guys are on stage. He's been 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.800 doing this for thirty years. So you're gonna get on 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.960 stage and you're gonna suck because you're it's not ready yet, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.480 and then you're gonna sort of re enforce all of 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.680 these stereotypes that are holding you down. Dude, I wish 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.400 that you were my freaking friend when I started my 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:15.360 career as a singer in I would have saved myself 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:18.240 so much fucking trouble, because that's exactly what it is. 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.280 It's like they already want to say, Okay, girls suck 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:24.200 at singing by because it's very, very like masculine type 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.200 of music, and so I wasn't ready and I came 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:28.760 out and they brought out a song and it's just 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:30.720 like sy I told you guys, exactly what you said. 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:32.680 I'm like, oh my god, that's what the freak happened. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.000 But you know what, fuck it. It's been how many 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.319 years now, almost like eight, So yeah, it's but it's 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.200 also I've done a lot of things before I was ready. 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:41.600 I think I wrote a book before I was ready, 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.920 at a TV show before I was ready. Like, I 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:45.800 know what it's like to like have the talent and 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:47.720 do the hard work. The key is having faith that 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.920 it is going to happen, and you only know in 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:51.240 your heart. You have to know in your heart that 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:53.520 you're gonna put the work in. But I think a 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.640 lot of women right now are confusing the difference between 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:02.520 empowerment and entitlement. And it's not empowering for you. You 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.559 don't get to go on stage before you're ready. It's 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.120 like it's like being an athlete. You don't get to 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.040 get be in the game yet, you're not a starter yet. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.000 Being a woman now, in terms of like this being 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.040 a strong feminist or being empowered, it doesn't mean bullying 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:17.920 and guilting people into giving you something you don't deserve 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.040 just because you're a girl. Yeah, I believe for all 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.720 of us women, because I think we're all wired to 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:26.040 believe we have such a short window because we're gonna expire, 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:29.000 we're gonna get old, we're gonna get whatever. That's the 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:33.160 self limiting belief that keeps us down. So it's like, yes, 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.440 that's a it was put on us. But when you go, 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.200 the best is yet to come. Bitch, Like, I'm gonna 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.520 get hotter as i get older, I'm gonna get strong, 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:42.520 I'm gonna get back. My life is not over at 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.079 thirty five. I don't get to send out to pasture. 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.240 That's fucking bullshit. Most of the people to buy tickets 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.640 products are women, and women do not mind if you 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:53.439 have crows feed. They don't mind if you have the 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.640 flabby arm. They don't give a shit. So stop living 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.160 your life according to the male gaze of Oh I'm 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.280 running out of time because I'm gonna be old soon. 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:04.960 That's their ship. It's all about the talent, the gift 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:08.679 and what you have to sell and take off that expiration. 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.480 I'm gonna have kids, by then, so I'm not gonna 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.200 be able to achieve my goal. Moms are actually after 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:16.079 you give birth, you have more testosterone. Moms are actually 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:19.120 better at running businesses because they also get better at 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.600 time management. The mom brain is better. All these things 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.240 that we were told are going to hold us back 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.800 are actually part of our superpowers, so let's just lean 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:30.920 into them. Getting older is a good thing as a woman. 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.480 I got it. I got it, and I'm so happy 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.040 I asked you because I'm learning showing me to see 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.680 things differently as well in my genre. So thank you 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:40.559 for that. I think we all learned a freaking lesson 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:50.520 right now. How old are you, Whitney? Just during forty? 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:54.200 That's right, you did have a birthday? When was it in? Um? September? 0:12:54.240 --> 0:13:00.640 Four September? Yes, double burgo, thank you? Okay, so tell 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.040 us I love that. I honestly, you're just inspiring me 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.480 right now, because sometimes I do get that. It's like 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:07.280 I have no children, and my god, I'm thirty seven 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:10.080 and I'm not necessarily ready right now. But it's like 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.679 I was taught, like you need to have your children 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.880 early so you can grow up with them and you know, 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.360 have energy and I'm just like, dude, I'm living. I'm 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.160 chilling right now. But also, the worst thing for a 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.160 kid is to be brought in the world before you're ready. 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:26.160 Mom has so much career like that stuff is wild 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.440 to me. And I think the reason that I actually 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.960 am chill about the kids thing is number One, Um, 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.480 I froze my eggs when I was thirty three, and 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.559 it is something I talked at length about in my 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.720 book because I feel like I have to shout this 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.920 from the rooftops. Because number one, when you freeze your eggs, 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:45.960 it takes this pressure off. You know, in your thirties, 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:49.160 when you're dating and you can only date someone through 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.000 the lens of will they be a good father? We 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.360 can't help it, but we do that, right, Or that 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.960 you're dating someone at thirty four and you start lowering 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.480 your standards because you feel like you only have a 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.760 couple of years is left, so you start negotiating with yourself, right, 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.360 So the older you get, the lower your bars becomes. 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.720 Like oh, yeah, I mean he does have a chain wallet, 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.280 but what am I gonna do? Start over? But like, 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:15.320 you know, yeah, he does follow thirty porn stars on Instagram, 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:16.719 but like what am I. I mean, I'm thirty four. 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:18.320 What am I gonna start from scratch? Like? This is 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.200 the best I can do given the biological limitations I have. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:23.840 So number one, it took off those biological limitations. And 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:26.680 you want to freeze your eggs young because they now 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:30.120 have the technology that has just been actualized where they 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.200 can freeze the eggs for ten years and they do 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.600 not get freezer burn in the d thawing process. So 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:37.480 you have your thirty three year old eggs, which is 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.040 the higher quality ones. You can put them into surrogate, 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:42.960 you can use them whatever. But I cannot tell you 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.960 the difference that made in my life. It is not cheap, 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.560 which is why I tell people like, like, young girls, 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.360 ask your parents for your graduation gift and your birthday 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.920 gifts just like for five hundred bucks a year and 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.840 start putting it in the thing and then you'll have 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:58.320 ten grand eventually to be able to do this or 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.360 whatever it costs. It's kind of different for everyone. Also, 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:02.960 the more we talk about it, the goal is to 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:06.120 get it covered by insurance and your company should be 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.000 paying for this. Every woman should have access to egg freezing. 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:13.720 Google started doing it, Yahoo, I think, and Facebook have 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:15.240 done it already. I don't know if I want to 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:18.800 freeze my eggs with Facebook, but um I'll take their money, Like, 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:20.840 can you just send me the cash, Like I don't 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:24.080 want to. I don't want your egg freezing chamber out there. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.560 Um to. You're taking our data and our genetics, Like 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:30.600 I don't know about that. So that is huge, huge, 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.280 huge in terms of being able to take that weight off. 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:37.800 But also I have a very strong like instinct to adopt, like, 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.600 I know that's something that you know for me. I 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:42.440 like to go, I know what my genetics are, I 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.080 know my DNA genetics. Load the gun environment pulls the trigger. 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.680 But I feel like I would be so paranoid because 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:50.640 I have so much addiction in my family and mental illness. 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.640 Of this kid having it, and there's eight thousand kids 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.600 in Appalachia that were born into the federal crisis and 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:58.880 what happens in foster care. Just I think about it 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.760 all the time, Like you know, a sexual abuse with 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.120 physical abuse, they put them on all these drugs. So 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:05.600 it's not like trying to be a hero, it's just 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.200 that might be the best fit for me personally as 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.520 someone who's kind of scared to have biological kids because 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.840 I know sort of what would be loaded genetically in 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.440 their brain. That's crazy because I've thought about that. That's 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:18.400 one of the reasons why I've held back and I 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.680 have thought about adoption. So now that you're like saying it, 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:23.280 you're saying so many things that I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:24.960 I haven't said it out loud because I'm like, how 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:27.320 is that going to sound? But the truth is because 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.960 everyone knows my family. But it's just like, I'm a 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.400 little scared about it. But you can still have a 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.720 biological kid. I mean, you could still one of my 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.560 best friends. But I had a kid biologically at forty two, 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.040 and then another one at forty three. She wasn't even trying. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.680 A lot of women do need help in that area, 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:46.400 but we all deserve another ten years or twenties were 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:49.840 basically unconscious. Our thirties is like, Okay, now I'm getting 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.160 my business started and things are finally cracking for me. 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:54.560 If I brought a child into this world right now, 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:58.240 I'd be a bad mother, Like, don't pressure me to 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.640 bring a child into this before I found the father. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.960 I got to find the perfect father first, with the 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.280 perfect s firm, don't or whatever it is. But the 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.040 irony is, I think the people that are the most 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.280 trepidaious about having kids are the ones that are the 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:13.640 most qualified because they're thinking the way you think. That's 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:15.960 why you will be such a great mother, because you're 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.800 you're waiting and doing it when it's right, not for 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:23.520 reasons associated with guilt. Yeah, I don't want to feel 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:25.719 pressured or do things because I feel forced, you know. 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.440 And I've been trying for a while to freeze my eggs, 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.840 but I had like the situation with my ovar ease, 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:32.720 and I had sister whatnot, so I had to wait. 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.680 So I'm gonna start hopefully in October. But by the way, 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:37.919 thank god you even just went in. Would you have 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.199 found out about the cist thing? Oh? Yeah, that's how 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:41.879 I found out that I had one in there and 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:43.440 that if I went through the process, it was just 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.919 going to make my sisters grow bigger and bigger. So 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.720 how many how many cycles did you go through? I 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:52.240 just did one. I did one of stabbing myself with 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.040 the hormones. But it was actually kind of a thing 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.000 because I had been on birth control pills for so 0:17:58.040 --> 0:17:59.760 long and I have to be on them from my 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.200 ins and stuff. But I had been on birth control 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:03.840 for so long that by the time I went off it, 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.159 it took a couple of months to bend straight to 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.880 start the cycle so that I could then start the shots. 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:12.280 It was also very emotional, like I tell people, like 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.199 freezing your eggs not only because you're getting you know, 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:17.920 shot up with estrogen, and you're more emotional anyway, because 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.200 you're basically getting pregnant. I mean, you get four months 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.040 pregnant essentially, and you're getting pregnant with all these eggs, 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:25.159 and ideally the younger you are, the more you'll get, 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:27.960 you know, And you've got eighteen eggs that are super swollen. 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:31.800 It's there's that of just the biochemical stuff and the 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.520 neurochemical stuff. But I just was angry, and I was like, 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:38.080 I have to drive to a doctor forty five minutes 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:40.800 three times a week just because I'm a woman, Like 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:44.400 I was promised that women could have everything. It made 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.080 me angry of like we talked about sexism in Hollywood, 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.840 We'll talk about sexism. No one talks about how sexist 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.120 biology is. But I don't know who to be mad 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:56.200 at God, Like our bodies are the most sexist ship. 0:18:56.320 --> 0:19:00.320 My own body is rotting. It knows my of all 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.359 people should know how well things are going. And now 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:06.080 you're gonna rock on me, you think, I like, it 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:09.679 just made me angry. It made me angry that there 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.439 are these biological limitations we have. Is the better you 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.760 get as a woman, the more season the more intelligent, 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:18.160 the less pregnant we can get. Whereas a fifteen year 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:20.840 old who knows jack shit about fuck she can get 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:25.119 pregnant easily. Why does our biology want the dumbest people 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.840 to get pregnant the fastest. Yeah, I'm just like that. Honestly, 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:30.800