1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Today is election day for primaries and other general elections 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: in Arkansas, Georgia, Connecticut, Minnesota, South Carolina, Vermont, Anne, Wisconsin. 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: Polls are open right now. Go to go vote and 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: get registered when we all vote dot org. It only 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: takes two minutes to register. Okay, two minutes to register, 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: So do that. Get that out of the way so 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,159 Speaker 1: you can vote today in those states and then you 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: can vote in November for the November third election, Okay, 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: the big one. And it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 13 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: reading your letter just like we're gonna read this one 14 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: right here, right now. Okay, and buggle up, hold on tight. 15 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject my fiance is a social butterfly. 17 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm twenty eight years old and I 18 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: with my fiance that's thirty two years old. We have 19 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: one child together and he will be the stepfather to 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: my son from a previous relationship. I love this man 21 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: with every bit of my heart and soul. He is 22 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: an amazing father and an amazing man. But here's the problem. 23 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: We've had issues where exes have texted his phone and 24 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: I found out about it, and I brought it to 25 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: his attention. He still has them as Facebook friends as well. 26 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: I have told him, if we're going to start a 27 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: future together, our past have to be left behind. I 28 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: asked him if he would delete and block all his 29 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: exes so we could move on. I told him no 30 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: other woman should have the same access to him that 31 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: I have. He flipped out and said, I'm insecure and 32 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: I'm trying to cut him off from the world. But 33 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: I only asked him to do this one thing for me. 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: We also had an issue when this girl came to 35 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: our house to do this hair to do his hair, 36 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: and I've found out that he's still texting her behind 37 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: my back. I confronted him about it and we moved 38 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: asked it. But the other day I found out that 39 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: they've been sending each other messages on social media. He's 40 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: always the one who's preaching about us communicating about everything 41 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: and working things out, but the moment I bring up anything, 42 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: he's done, he gets defensive and he tells me I'm 43 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: the problem. He always flips the situation around and puts 44 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 1: it on me. I found condoms in a toolbox in 45 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: the trunk of his car, and I threw the box 46 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: away without telling him that. I think that after seeing 47 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: the condoms, I realize I have a bigger problem. Should 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: I press this issue before I marry him, or should 49 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 1: I leave him now so he'll know I'm serious. You're 50 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: right about one thing. You definitely have a bigger problem. 51 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm at the end of this letter and I'm still 52 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how he's so amazing. All I 53 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: see is that he's a great dad, and that's a 54 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: good thing. That is amazing. Other than that, I'm at 55 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: a loss for all of his amazingness. All Right, he 56 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: still communicating with the exes. You don't like that, he 57 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: called you insecure and accused you of cutting him off 58 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: from the world, and worst of all, you found condoms 59 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: in his toolbox. Now, what do you think he's doing 60 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: with those condoms? I mean, listen, you cannot marry someone 61 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: you don't trust. And this is going on. We say 62 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: this so much on this show before you've even made 63 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,640 Speaker 1: it to the altar. You don't trust this guy. You 64 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: don't trust him as far as you can throw him. 65 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: That's why you're in his phone, and that's why you're 66 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: talking to him about all these exes and all this 67 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: marriage for you guys, I think is a disaster waiting 68 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: to happen. I mean, you don't want him to talk 69 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: to his exes. He doesn't want to stop talking to 70 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: his exes or apparently sleeping with them. That's how the 71 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: condoms figure into this. He doesn't like you confronting him 72 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: about it and all of that. I don't think this 73 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: is a good way to start a marriage. It's just 74 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: not and definitely not a good relationship to bring a 75 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: baby in, whether he's an amazing dad or not. Steve, 76 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: first of all, everything Shirley said, I agree with one 77 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: thousand percent. She's spot on, So you already know when 78 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: you're write and once I agree with what Shirley has 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: to say, I don't really go back into that. So 80 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: now just look at let's look at another way. You know, 81 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: if you don't believe fat meat greasy, then let's just 82 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,159 Speaker 1: find out if greasy meat is fat. However you want 83 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: to do it, you twenty eight fiance thirty two, y'all 84 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: got a child together. He's he will be the stepfather 85 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 1: if from previous relationship. You know, loving with your heart 86 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 1: and so amazing father, amazing man. But we got issues 87 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: where exis have text his phone and I found out 88 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: about it, and I bought it to his attention and 89 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: he got him his Facebook friends. I told him, if 90 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: we're gonna start the future together, our pass have to 91 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: be left behind. That's a fair. That's a fair. Most 92 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: people can't move forward with the future because they keep 93 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: hanging on to the past, even with mistakes. That's why 94 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: it's important that you never allow mistake to define who 95 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: you are. That's what you did, then that's the mistake 96 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 1: you made. Ask God for forgiveness, get up and move on. 97 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: So what you're saying is really for I've asked him 98 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: if he would delete and block all his exes so 99 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: we could move on. I told him, no other woman 100 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,039 Speaker 1: should have the same access to him that I have. 101 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: That's fair. He flipped out and saying I'm insecure, No man, 102 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: Ask him, can you start contacting all your exes? Ask him? 103 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: Can you could talk to all your exes freely like 104 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: you want to and let them have access to you 105 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: the same way them girls got access to him. I 106 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: promise you he ain't gonna like it. See all this 107 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: reigning going on, it's really so all this, all this 108 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: reigning that's going on is really pe. But he's trying 109 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: to tell you it's a gentle soft reigin. It's p 110 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: it's pete. What do you see it is Pete? It's 111 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: not rain. It's a shower, but it's a golden shower 112 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: and you're the recipient of it. And this is not 113 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 1: nice for you. I'm just being real with your sister. 114 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: Shirley told you right, but saying now, I got to 115 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: get you to see it another way. Now you insecure 116 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: and I come back. I'm gonna tell you why he 117 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 1: said that. All right, all right, Steve, thank you. We'll 118 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: have part two of your response coming up at twenty 119 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter, subject my 120 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: fiance is a social butterfly. We'll get back into it 121 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to, all right, Steve, come on, 122 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My fiance is a social butterfly. 123 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: Twenty year old lady living with this thirty two ye 124 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 1: old dude supposed to be a good dude. But they 125 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: got a problem. He's in contact with all his excess. 126 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: They're texting his phone. You found out about it, You 127 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: bring it to his attention, and they his Facebook friends 128 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: as well. And then you said, fairly, if we're gonna 129 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: have a future together, then we got to leave our 130 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: past and behind, asking me if you'ld delete and block 131 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: all his excess so we could move on. He should 132 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: do that for you. That's fair. I love you, you 133 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: my future. I'm gonna delete my past so we can 134 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: move on. That's fair. He should do that. I told 135 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: him no other woman should have the same access to 136 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: him as I have. He flipped out and said I'm 137 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 1: insecure and cut him off. But I've only asked to 138 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: do this one thing for me. Okay, Now my question 139 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: is these people that he's texting that you found out about, 140 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: what is the text about? Because it seemed to me 141 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: like he a little bit more than a social butterfly. Okay, 142 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: it's social, all right. Now, we also have an issue 143 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: when this girl came to our house to do his head. 144 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: All right, let's pump the braids. There's a woman that 145 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 1: has to come to your house to do his hell? 146 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: What kind of hair he got? Where a woman got 147 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: to come to your house to do your man? Hell? 148 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: Where he got a perms? Curl? Locks of braids? Locks 149 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: of braids? Okay, I've never had it, so I can't 150 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: speak on it. Some of them look good. Maybe your 151 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: man need help keeping here? But here? This woman come 152 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: but now? And then you found out that he's texting 153 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 1: her behind your back? Other than hall? What did these 154 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: texts say? You haven't said that, Okay, I confronted him 155 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: about it and we moved past it. Then you say 156 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: that they've been sending each other other messages on social media? 157 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:05,079 Speaker 1: Is he coming ship coming back due to halfhood? Is 158 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: these locks coming loose? Are they clip ons? What is 159 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: they still talking about in these texts? What do you 160 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,439 Speaker 1: know about clip on? Really? A football player had him 161 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: and then he was running and one dude grabbed her, 162 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: had a hand full open, but he kept running. It 163 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: didn't hurt when he snatched them out. So yeah, okay, 164 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: he always the one who's preaching about us communicating things 165 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: work out. But the moment I bring up anything he's done, 166 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: he gets defensed me. He tells me, I'm the problem. 167 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: You know why he does that, because the best defense 168 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: is a good offense. People who flip it all the time, 169 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: note that the best defense is a good offense. So 170 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 1: now he throwing it on you. Now you didn't found 171 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: some condoms in a tul box in the trunk of 172 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: his car, and I threw the box away without telling, 173 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: Oh that fix it? Whoa? That were the last box 174 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: of condoms doing the COVID WHOA? Yeah, you found these 175 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: condoms in the two box. You threw them away without tending. 176 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: That's a good idea. Yeah, after seeing the condoms, I 177 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: realize I have a bigger problem. Let me ask you 178 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: a question, ma'am. What are condoms for? Right? Condoms are 179 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 1: to protect you during the act of sex. They do 180 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: not double as party water balloons. You don't slip them 181 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: on your fingers when you're trying to fix your car. 182 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: They ain't finger gloves. Their condoms. They serve one purpose 183 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: and one purpose only, Thank you. So now should I 184 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:01,559 Speaker 1: press the issue before I marry him? You're marrying someone 185 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: who has condoms in his tool box. You're marrying someone 186 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:12,559 Speaker 1: who refuses to stop communicating with women, his exes, his hair, dress, everybody, 187 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: and he got condoms in the box. Now, I'm not 188 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: telling you your man is cheating. I'm not gonna tell 189 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: you that, but you do the man, and your question 190 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: is should I press this issue before I marry him? Really? 191 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: Surely say the best If you don't what you think 192 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: gonna happen right after y'all get married? Why would he 193 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: stop doing anything? Remember this about marriage. What's going on 194 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: before the marriage will continue afterwards. The only thing that 195 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 1: done the changes after the day of the marriage, at 196 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: the appearance of the left hand third finger. That's it. 197 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: You have a situation and you have to decide what 198 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: you're going to do with ye I'm not going to 199 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: tell you what to do, but you add it up. 200 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: I don't know what all these texts is about, but 201 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: he gets real upset when you don't want to let 202 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 1: him cut himself off from the world. Excuse me, what 203 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: are you? What are your mum? Tommy wants to know 204 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: why she's in his tulbox. Oh, and wos in there? 205 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: It's just why is you in the tube box? Yeah? Right? 206 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: Because she's trying to find the tape measure because she 207 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: wanted to measure something and she ran up into the 208 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: box and counting and all twelve them wasn't in there 209 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: and seen what condom? In two years? I put him 210 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: in the tubbox. She ain't gonna come in here. Well 211 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: put them in there. Yeah, so that's it. I don't 212 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: know what to say to you. Yeah, the decision is 213 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: on you. But you've heard our advice. And sometimes I 214 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: use them to stop leaks, though sometimes you use condom 215 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,439 Speaker 1: to stop lea that's exactly that's exactly why you use 216 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,959 Speaker 1: Did you just not hear him say one purpose and 217 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 1: one purpose? That's exactly what you use them for. All right? 218 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey 219 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter 220 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: podcast too on demand now coming up at forty six 221 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, we'll have Sports Talk with Junior. 222 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: Right after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.