Speaker 1: Look mad oh, I see you? Why why and look
Speaker 1: over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness ding dong
Speaker 1: lost cultures calling Hey, sister, who just woke up? Sister,
Speaker 1: I just woke up. It's five pm Sunday. Good morning,
Speaker 1: Sunday morning. You look fresh as a daisy, you feel
Speaker 1: in the words of Katy Perry, oh right, And this
Speaker 1: is how we do. And this is how we do.
Speaker 1: She says, fresh as a daisy? What she what she invented? Yes,
Speaker 1: and the sun daisy. She said the word daisies many times,
Speaker 1: it being the title of the song. And all um,
Speaker 1: thank you for saying that. I feel good. I feel
Speaker 1: pretty good today, definitely good. One of the better days.
Speaker 1: You were outside the absolute morning hour. We don't we
Speaker 1: don't have to talk about it. We don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know why we bring my private life into this space.
Speaker 1: People's examine and take a scalpel and look at the
Speaker 1: layers underneath. No, no, no, listen to your voice. It
Speaker 1: was a rough night, wasn't it. As it was so
Speaker 1: like a base. I was the base. I'm a base.
Speaker 1: I'm not my my. This is too much. You're confronting
Speaker 1: me and you have a low voice. You have the
Speaker 1: low voice of a partier. You have a low party
Speaker 1: boy voice. How do we feel? Should I feel bad
Speaker 1: for partying? I feel like Lindsay Lohan being being asked
Speaker 1: to feel bad about partying. No. I think that you
Speaker 1: and Lindsay Lohan should both not even think about any
Speaker 1: of the like sort of people that get in your ear,
Speaker 1: because I feel like the second you sort of like
Speaker 1: just get this out of your system, you can just
Speaker 1: focus on acting and then we can get back to
Speaker 1: what is really good, okay, which is the talent, because
Speaker 1: people forget about the talent of Bowen and Lindsay Lohan
Speaker 1: and it's really about to let them party and dance
Speaker 1: on a table. But you know, rumors is like such
Speaker 1: a bob. I know I was gonna say a prophecy
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm tired of rumors starting. Should we do
Speaker 1: a close right on it? Yeah, Saturday, stepping into the club,
Speaker 1: people taking pictures. Don't you think they get enough? Don't
Speaker 1: you think it's funny that you're pilling up the lyrics
Speaker 1: and I know these by heart? Can I say something?
Speaker 1: I never really like this song never connected with me
Speaker 1: because at this point, at this point, Lindsay like I
Speaker 1: was being very put off by Lindsay lohanon and and
Speaker 1: this time in her career, I was obsessed. I was obsessed.
Speaker 1: Went to go see Freaky Friday in the theater, went
Speaker 1: to go see Confessions of a Team and Teendays Drop
Speaker 1: Queen in the theater, Like was so so so team Lindsay.
Speaker 1: And then and then somehow I got pulled into the
Speaker 1: Hillary Duff were a bit and I was just like,
Speaker 1: you were teaming Hillary Duff. Of course, the Great Aaron
Speaker 1: Carter War of let's call it two thousand four four
Speaker 1: two three, So there was a great war in two
Speaker 1: thousand four. A lot of people remember, a lot of
Speaker 1: people think that the Iraq War was the sort of
Speaker 1: the big war of the time, but the really big
Speaker 1: war was the Great Aaron Carter War of two thousand four,
Speaker 1: And that was sort of you were either team Hillary
Speaker 1: Duff and you are a Hillary Duff sort of navy
Speaker 1: or you were a sort of Lindsay Lohan air force
Speaker 1: air force. Yeah. And that actually connected to the video
Speaker 1: for Rumors where she was on sort of like a
Speaker 1: helicopter on the roof. Yeah, and she did that amazing
Speaker 1: Coreo Saturday, stepping into the cloud people taking pictures don't
Speaker 1: get enough. Well, that's the that's the that's the second verse.
Speaker 1: You're you're combining the first verse in the second or see,
Speaker 1: this is why I pulled. I didn't want to miss
Speaker 1: quote what's the quote unquote first verse? Saturday stepping into
Speaker 1: the club. Somebody, somebody want to tell the DJ to
Speaker 1: turn it up. Somebody want to tell you to turn
Speaker 1: it up. I feel the energy all around and my
Speaker 1: let it can't stop moving to the sound because I
Speaker 1: can sound that you're watching me, and you're probably gonna
Speaker 1: write what you didn't see. Go ahead, and then, well
Speaker 1: I just need a little space degree can you please
Speaker 1: step my praty? Why why you just let me do
Speaker 1: the thing I want to do? I just me? Why
Speaker 1: would you want to bring down if I'm only having
Speaker 1: I'm gonna live my life. But and here's the big chorus,
Speaker 1: and this is where she sort of declares, and oftentimes
Speaker 1: in a chorus of a pop song, and our guest
Speaker 1: knows a lot about this, and this sort of sounds
Speaker 1: like a song that this sounds like and we we've
Speaker 1: known all about our our our guests pop star story past,
Speaker 1: and in terms of her concerts, even sort of you know,
Speaker 1: storied conflict she's gotten into on in her concerts before,
Speaker 1: which we have to follow up about that, and we have.
Speaker 1: But this is the chorus, right, so this is this
Speaker 1: is where she says, well, she's meaning, I'm tired of
Speaker 1: rumors starting. I'm sick of being followed. I'm tired of
Speaker 1: people lying, saying what they want about me. Why can't
Speaker 1: they back up off me? Why can't they let me live?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it my way. Take this for just
Speaker 1: what it is. Robert Frost could never. Robert Frost could never.
Speaker 1: Emily Dickinson found Hayley Steinfeld sound Dead please, Queen of Pop,
Speaker 1: Queen of Flop, Queen Flop. And oh and this this
Speaker 1: Rumors has a lyric that Rumors shares a lyric with
Speaker 1: um just in my Pants, the Lonely Island classic, which
Speaker 1: is um, which is here we are back up in
Speaker 1: the club, in the club and then and just in
Speaker 1: my Pants. It's that was weird, but now we're back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just my Pants was. You couldn't have told me that
Speaker 1: there was any other song other than just my Pants
Speaker 1: came out. It was just my funniest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: And it's like, right, okay, and I love take this
Speaker 1: for just what it is. That that is like meta layer,
Speaker 1: like talking about how the meaning is implicit, what the
Speaker 1: declaration is implicit, like this is what it is. Take
Speaker 1: it for what it is, and you already know what
Speaker 1: it is. And so I guess what you're saying is
Speaker 1: that you feel the same way as Lindsay does in
Speaker 1: the song when I ask you about why your voice
Speaker 1: is so fucking low garbage, why you come to the
Speaker 1: to the record record of the podcast with this like
Speaker 1: Peebo Bryce in tone. Oh my god, yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: not Piebo Peebo. Um, I just relate. I think we
Speaker 1: all relate to I'm saying we all relate to Lindsay
Speaker 1: in some way, don't we. All Right, So I guess
Speaker 1: what we're saying is like you're saying, take it for
Speaker 1: just what it is. My voice, my vocal quality on
Speaker 1: the episode today, and I want you won't elaborate on
Speaker 1: your partying ways. Okay, it was poppy, it was poppy, juice,
Speaker 1: it was amazing. It was really fun, that's see. And
Speaker 1: now that's all we wanted. That's all we wanted, which
Speaker 1: we know now we know we're good we can move
Speaker 1: on with our life. Let's move on with our life. Okay,
Speaker 1: how are you, queen? Before we bring the guests? Fine,
Speaker 1: I had three coffees today, too many to probably too
Speaker 1: too many. I probably suld have just had one. Probably
Speaker 1: all I needed was one ice coffee. Sometimes you just
Speaker 1: get a taste of the stuff and can't stop. I
Speaker 1: know that's right, I know that's right. I know that's right.
Speaker 1: Not me having three coffees today. Me a f having
Speaker 1: three coffees today. Not this, not this jan Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Let's bring in our guests, one of the one of
Speaker 1: the best guests, one of the best guests. People really
Speaker 1: cream for the guest. They're like, when is she coming back,
Speaker 1: especially after a narrative has been sort of concluded, reached
Speaker 1: full circle with this feud that she's really kept going
Speaker 1: for five years now. I couldn't believe we watched it
Speaker 1: come to a head on television and just to say
Speaker 1: that it's true that the guests, it's been a really
Speaker 1: long time since the guest was on, and it's just
Speaker 1: it's time. Certainly flies, doesn't it, Certainly it flies. But
Speaker 1: I sort of find myself on a show with the guests,
Speaker 1: dream so exciting to me dream. I can't wait tonight
Speaker 1: at midnight. As And here's the deal. We actually sort
Speaker 1: of play very close friends on the show and colleagues, okay,
Speaker 1: and that's true in real life. You're close friends often
Speaker 1: often colleagues. Sometimes we are, right, I guess today we're
Speaker 1: sort of working together, you know what I mean. Today,
Speaker 1: we're sort of collaborating to build, hopefully, what is a
Speaker 1: comedic piece that people enjoy? You know? Absolutely? And I,
Speaker 1: oh my god, not to center myself in this, but
Speaker 1: recently I was a colleague of hers. Yes, and you're
Speaker 1: swimming a pull together in your off hours, were swimming
Speaker 1: a pool together. It was really fun. I heard all
Speaker 1: about the swimming, and I would love to hear more
Speaker 1: about it. We'll talk more about it, I hope. So anyway,
Speaker 1: we just love her so much, so let's we don't
Speaker 1: even have to do We're not doing credits. This is
Speaker 1: take it, Take it for what it is, Take it
Speaker 1: for just but it is. I wonder what the guest
Speaker 1: vocal quality will be me too, So let's find not
Speaker 1: so excited, let's find everyone. Welcome Patty Harrison. Girl this okay, son,
Speaker 1: peel back the layers let them so not everyone might
Speaker 1: know what it's like to be on a zoom when
Speaker 1: it starts being recorded. So what what was that? What
Speaker 1: was so that this is my this is in bowing.
Speaker 1: I know you hate this, but this is my andl
Speaker 1: audition and uh and and you hate well, I know
Speaker 1: that you hate how often I am I try and
Speaker 1: get on this s and l through you three times
Speaker 1: a week in like personal interactions or you think that
Speaker 1: do you think that I'm asking out to lunch because
Speaker 1: I want to catch up? And really it's because I
Speaker 1: have a character, and and sometimes that character is that
Speaker 1: teacher you remember who just like had that big stack
Speaker 1: of papers on the desk. But what is this like? Like,
Speaker 1: please don't put that out there? Yeah, please don't set
Speaker 1: don't turn it in any of yours because there's too
Speaker 1: much stuff it is. Wait and suddenly I'm back in school. Yeah, Lauren,
Speaker 1: this zoom. Wait, they don't say what did she say?
Speaker 1: This dooom is being recorded better than me not being recorded?
Speaker 1: Now that was kind of just Matt Rogers trying product,
Speaker 1: That was it? So yeah, when you record zoom if
Speaker 1: anybody doesn't use Zoom, the video chat app which we
Speaker 1: are using right now. Um, if someone who is hosting records,
Speaker 1: it gives the audio message to everyone on the um
Speaker 1: in the zoom room, so they up they're being recorded. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can I do what? Can I do an impression? It's
Speaker 1: not it's not of that, but it's it's of a
Speaker 1: zoom thing. Yes, okay, bo oh my god. You know what?
Speaker 1: You know what that sort of character you know what
Speaker 1: that character reminded me of to the character of when
Speaker 1: the subway opens. Yeah, I know that that character. That character.
Speaker 1: It's like that's my thing. It's like it's a lot
Speaker 1: of like wacky physical stuff and then like you know,
Speaker 1: like chimes, that's that's my style. Wait, okay, can I
Speaker 1: do an impression? And is okay? So this is an impression?
Speaker 1: It is um, it's the train voice. It's um, it's
Speaker 1: the train voice. But he went to my high school.
Speaker 1: How about that? Please stand clear of the closing doors.
Speaker 1: Fragg It did not just say fraggett. You know what
Speaker 1: happened this character that was the high school character of
Speaker 1: the high school person. It's like he started to say
Speaker 1: friend and then remind remembered that he would have felt
Speaker 1: pressured in high school to be a bully. So he said, faggot.
Speaker 1: They couldn't see, but I did look over to I
Speaker 1: like looked that way at my friends that I remembered.
Speaker 1: And then I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, So tell us
Speaker 1: about well in high school, you're really popular. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had a lot of friends in high school. Um,
Speaker 1: and I think people know that. I don't think people
Speaker 1: know because of the way that I dress and the
Speaker 1: way that I dress, how like how tall I am,
Speaker 1: my way, my cup size, my curves in all the
Speaker 1: right places, people know that I was very was popular
Speaker 1: in high school. Probably never had any problem. No I had.
Speaker 1: I did have. Um, I didn't like really start having
Speaker 1: friends until my I always had friends, like a lot
Speaker 1: of popular right, this is definitely the way people talk
Speaker 1: when they had a lot of friends. Well, I just
Speaker 1: think you need to stop right there. I think you
Speaker 1: need to stop right there. I'm trying to tell you
Speaker 1: something and I'm giving you a real answer, give a
Speaker 1: real Please drops Patty. I'm sorry, but this is Patty
Speaker 1: dropping into her a net betting and the kids are
Speaker 1: all right, good register No, I feel bow and I
Speaker 1: say you stop, you stop stop right there. Stop you
Speaker 1: can just stop right there. Wait, do you want to
Speaker 1: know something that happens in that movie that people don't
Speaker 1: talk about enough. It's completely non verbal, but it's it's
Speaker 1: in a netbending moment. It's like the moment after like
Speaker 1: she and Julian Moore have this huge fight and then
Speaker 1: like a netbending like Julian Moore's in the kitchen the
Speaker 1: next morning and then a net bedding goes downstairs and
Speaker 1: she's in her scrubs and then she just takes a
Speaker 1: banana and says nothing and walks. It's such a powerful moment,
Speaker 1: like they're mad at each other and a net betting takes.
Speaker 1: All she does is she takes a banana and leaves,
Speaker 1: like she goes to work. Wait, why did you say
Speaker 1: that's your takeaway? Yeah? That wait, but why did you
Speaker 1: say this is your net betting register? Is this something
Speaker 1: that Patty was doing sort of in the pool when
Speaker 1: you guys were together. No, not, it's not an inside joke.
Speaker 1: Not everything's an inside joke. How do he just has
Speaker 1: one of her huge impressions that almost got her on
Speaker 1: SNL was and that bending in the all right do
Speaker 1: it well? I? Yeah? Yeah? And that's true? Is that
Speaker 1: um is is I? I can do an impression? That
Speaker 1: is just and and know that I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: need to do celebrity impressions, you know that. But I
Speaker 1: do know that I think that stuff is shit. Shit,
Speaker 1: it's so fucking hack and I don't put energy into
Speaker 1: it and I don't try. It's the thing is when
Speaker 1: this stuff comes out of me and it like sounds
Speaker 1: like I've rehearsed it a lot over years, it's because
Speaker 1: it means nothing to me and I haven't even touched
Speaker 1: this stuff. It's my first time doing the impression. Every time. Well,
Speaker 1: then you're trying to take cover behind the fact that
Speaker 1: it's good. You're you're, you're, you're, You're trying to take
Speaker 1: cover behind like detachment and not caring even because it's
Speaker 1: at that's it's actually a good impression. And that's what's
Speaker 1: sucked up because it's a really good impression. And now
Speaker 1: you're like just like blue balling us with the can
Speaker 1: you just do it? Do it? Well, yeah, I can
Speaker 1: do it, but I just want to say that also
Speaker 1: I have gravel voice right now too, and why well
Speaker 1: we don't have to talk about it. I went to
Speaker 1: I went to I went to a comedy show. I
Speaker 1: went to Sarah Squirms show last night, and then I
Speaker 1: talked it was just loud and there was like a
Speaker 1: band that played after and so and the so I
Speaker 1: just was talking really loud for the night. I didn't
Speaker 1: even say out that late. But I'm just with you
Speaker 1: Bowen and so I just want to say that that,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's my voice isn't doesn't have
Speaker 1: the elastic city do it? Do it? Now? Stop? Okay,
Speaker 1: there's the only line that I remember from the movie
Speaker 1: and from what I looked. I looked at up recently
Speaker 1: and I don't even think I'm saying the line right,
Speaker 1: even though this is a way it's because there's also
Speaker 1: it's one of the things I can't find the clip online,
Speaker 1: like it's not a big enough scene to people, I
Speaker 1: guess for like no one has put it on you. No,
Speaker 1: randomly everyone knows the line. But the thing is is
Speaker 1: that I looked it up. I looked at movie quotes,
Speaker 1: and they quote it differently than how I say it.
Speaker 1: They still use different words, which I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't remember it being that. But any how so, if
Speaker 1: if you don't know the conceit of the movie, which
Speaker 1: I don't even really remember, there's a scene where it's
Speaker 1: like a net Benning and Juliet Moore are a gay couple,
Speaker 1: and then Juliet Juliet, Yes, but I don't fucking give
Speaker 1: a ship. Ugly cunt popular in high school. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: ugly cunt. Um and I I think I think she's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Um uh, they're they're a gay couple, and right, Julian
Speaker 1: Moore starts hooking up with Mark Ruffalo. She's like queer
Speaker 1: curious and she starts hooking up with Mark Ruffalo and
Speaker 1: then and then and that Benning finds out and then
Speaker 1: it but is it an open thing? Are they like cheating? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What's the line? So I'm going to get to that.
Speaker 1: But the first I want to talk about my first assault.
Speaker 1: Um so, my first assault was the worst, but definitely
Speaker 1: it's always the word first. But is the deepest baby
Speaker 1: behind no? Right? Yeah, I love Lord, I love I
Speaker 1: love Lord. Oh my gosh. That okay, I don't think
Speaker 1: so Hony solar power. Um anyways, well, I guess so
Speaker 1: I'm wrapping it up. Um, I I have I have
Speaker 1: cox to suck. Um. No, I don't. I don't take that.
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm I'm not like trying to do that today.
Speaker 1: But okay, so the impression is it's the scene where
Speaker 1: she's fighting with Mark Gruffalo and he says something about
Speaker 1: their kids, about them being all right, probably this meeting
Speaker 1: is okay, son, can you tell me the line and
Speaker 1: I'll do the Markufo line and it'll kill you, and
Speaker 1: then you'll do the line. I don't know because I
Speaker 1: don't know that Matt, you know, but you know the
Speaker 1: line it's and that's famous line. Yeah, okay, I'll do
Speaker 1: the line. Yeah. Is it? Is it? Um? Is it
Speaker 1: something about him being like a cool guy or something? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: but okay, I'm just gonna do it. I'm not. I
Speaker 1: don't actually hate like long cells for like people getting
Speaker 1: around because I think it's going to make it less
Speaker 1: because what if it doesn't, if it's not as yeah,
Speaker 1: well it's it's just don't just be just prepared to
Speaker 1: be like, oh that's fine, okay, okay, ready m hm
Speaker 1: Well now I'm kind of giggly. Um, I need parenting
Speaker 1: advice from you, like I need a dick in my ass. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did parenting advice from you, like, and she does
Speaker 1: have that sort of you're so right. And first of all,
Speaker 1: that can I say that was so much better than
Speaker 1: I ever could have dreamed it was? Do you really
Speaker 1: think so that was so good? I need parenting advice
Speaker 1: from you, like I need to dick in my ass.
Speaker 1: It's the it's the it's the squeak on the coming
Speaker 1: with parenting advice in my needing advice from you, like
Speaker 1: I needed dick in my ass. And isn't their scene
Speaker 1: earlier where they're sort of talking about um Joni Mitchell
Speaker 1: and she's like, Okay, I like the guy. I think,
Speaker 1: I like the Yeah, an amazing actor. And I wait, wait,
Speaker 1: so I did what you did. I don't want to
Speaker 1: let it leave. I don't want to leave let it
Speaker 1: leave the energy space that we're creating together right now
Speaker 1: while it's in my brain. But did you see what
Speaker 1: was the I almost said the Jared Fogel movie. That's
Speaker 1: not it. He's the guy that this this is us? Oh,
Speaker 1: Dan Foegelman, Dan Fogelman, Jared Foegelman, Uh wait, let up
Speaker 1: white Pedophile, Dan Voegelman. That movie that he did, he
Speaker 1: did ask or Isaac's and and that Betting plays the
Speaker 1: therapist life. Yeah, it was life itself life itself. It
Speaker 1: looks like a movie that you would enjoy talking about.
Speaker 1: It is the funny, it's crazy. It is a crazy, crazy,
Speaker 1: crazy fucking movie. And I saw it in Getters and
Speaker 1: it really really okay. There are so many you have
Speaker 1: to see the movie because it is so I don't
Speaker 1: watch this as us. I have a lot of friends
Speaker 1: who are really into it and like think it's an
Speaker 1: incredible show and that they talk about like the yo
Speaker 1: yo ing of like the emotional arcs and stuff. Is
Speaker 1: that it really does a good job of being funny
Speaker 1: in places but being really heavy in other places. And
Speaker 1: I appreciate that the movie is a is kind of
Speaker 1: like that in a in a carnival mirror house. They
Speaker 1: have to squeeze all that emotional yo yoing into a movie,
Speaker 1: which can be really difficult. It's this tiny yo yo
Speaker 1: it's tiny. Well, it's too bow into what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Earlier in Nette Benning having this huge moment with like
Speaker 1: grabbing a banana and not saying anything, there is a
Speaker 1: scene that this is going to spoil it if you
Speaker 1: haven't seen it. I don't think anyone cares. Well. It
Speaker 1: came out in theaters like three years ago, right people have. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: so there's the scene. The whole thing is that like
Speaker 1: Oscar Isaac's is like a struggling screenwriter who's like really depressed.
Speaker 1: I think he's like Olivia Wilde X and her. The
Speaker 1: whole story arc is it's pretty funny stuff. It's really dark,
Speaker 1: but it's just like they really make it so zonkey
Speaker 1: wonky tell a Tubby sort of style tone that um
Speaker 1: it kind of is. It's like I feel like it's
Speaker 1: on par with like Trainspotting. Um. But there's this scene.
Speaker 1: There's a scene. It's like the tone of it is
Speaker 1: Oscar Isaac being like, yeah, I'm kind of no whiskey
Speaker 1: and I'm kinda fuck up. Yeah, not so awesome sauce
Speaker 1: kind of now that I'm thinking about kind of like
Speaker 1: Damn Locotta. Um and he's like it's sort of like
Speaker 1: Dan Locatta vibe of like I think Dan Locatto would
Speaker 1: probably really like this movie. Um, but he's Anne Benning
Speaker 1: Aette Benning is his Annett Benning therapist an um ann
Speaker 1: At Benning and Nette Benning is oh my god, she's
Speaker 1: she's a therapist. And um there's a scene in therapy
Speaker 1: sect session where he's like screenplay or whatever. It's like
Speaker 1: the thing is like he's trying to write the screenplay,
Speaker 1: and um, they're coming for me because I said it.
Speaker 1: I didn't considered it's because you said that. And then
Speaker 1: I called her Anne at Benning and you know that
Speaker 1: Annette Benning literally runs Hollywood, so you know that she
Speaker 1: knows the police. So she and Warren are sending the
Speaker 1: police to your fucking house and you're going to be
Speaker 1: arrested tonight. We don't. First you need to get to
Speaker 1: the end of the therapy thing. Okay, Well, I'm literally
Speaker 1: explaining a scene in a movie which is like this
Speaker 1: is already its own help, but taking up time and
Speaker 1: poorly explaining the scene in this movie. But um, there's
Speaker 1: a therapy scene. It's like maybe it's maybe, like and
Speaker 1: it's pretty it's like a quarter shut up parenting advice
Speaker 1: for you. That's the same eye from the beginning of
Speaker 1: the course of Shai a Lady Gaga that I need
Speaker 1: parenting advice for you, like I need to tack avice.
Speaker 1: Um that was anyways, cut it together? Sorry into the
Speaker 1: line from all right, sorry, keep going. There's a scene
Speaker 1: where Oscar Isaac shoots himself in his therapy session, he
Speaker 1: pulled out a gun. He pulls out a gun in
Speaker 1: front of net Benning and he shoots himself in the head.
Speaker 1: His brains go all over the wall. This is and
Speaker 1: they make and I know that this isn't recorded right,
Speaker 1: you are lying about there is it's so funny, and
Speaker 1: it's not funny. It's not funny that he shoots himself,
Speaker 1: but they make a Net Benning have a reaction to it,
Speaker 1: and he's just literally talking and he's like, well, I'll
Speaker 1: ever be a screenwriter. Pulls out a gun and she
Speaker 1: blows his brains out in her office. And I know
Speaker 1: that your audience won't be able to see it, but
Speaker 1: I'll do it for you. This is her reaction I'm taking.
Speaker 1: I'm taking my head to head turns out for a moment.
Speaker 1: I know that's like anti recording quality. There's just going
Speaker 1: to be a moment in the podcast where the sound
Speaker 1: quality is bad. I'm sorry, it's but for us to
Speaker 1: see you. Actually, I should be seated. This is no.
Speaker 1: So she's watching them and he gets up and he
Speaker 1: shoots himself and then net Bend goes, no, no, how
Speaker 1: do you is that real? I'm making just for the movie. Now, No,
Speaker 1: I'm not making it up. She literally does, oh my god,
Speaker 1: wait and he really does it? What this sounds like
Speaker 1: a pretty Harrison line. Distracted. Abby is struck by a bus. Okay,
Speaker 1: so Abby, I guess is a woman in the She
Speaker 1: gets hit by a bus. I guess she dies. Um,
Speaker 1: she dies, the baby survives. I guess she has a baby. Will,
Speaker 1: blaming himself for a wife's death, shoots himself in front
Speaker 1: of Kate. Kate is played by oh my god, you
Speaker 1: were not lying in her response is She's just like,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's honestly, it's honestly. What see. The thing is,
Speaker 1: it's her reaction is so real. It feels so it's
Speaker 1: so like downplayed that it feels like maybe that's actually
Speaker 1: how someone would react if that. And it kind of
Speaker 1: felt like, you know how like in the Alien movie,
Speaker 1: they didn't tell them the chess, but they didn't tell
Speaker 1: the actors like that the chess to get a real
Speaker 1: reaction in the one actor actually she fell and like
Speaker 1: hit her head or something like she actually got hurt
Speaker 1: in that scene because she was so surprised. I feel
Speaker 1: like maybe they didn't tell they like redacted or whatever.
Speaker 1: That part of the scene to like be like something's
Speaker 1: gonna happen that you need to react to. And then
Speaker 1: they just had Oscar Isaacs shoot himself in the head
Speaker 1: on set and that's do you like see it? They yeah,
Speaker 1: they show his like brain like blood shut up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he like it's one of those it's one of those
Speaker 1: like squib effects where the actor like puts the gun
Speaker 1: in their mouth and the cameras like facing their face
Speaker 1: so the blood splatters like on the wall behind them.
Speaker 1: This is or whatever. I'm trying to find a video.
Speaker 1: So when I when I lightly suggests when I'm like,
Speaker 1: ha ha, it is a very traumatic movie to watch,
Speaker 1: but it's like trying so hard to like tug on
Speaker 1: your heartstrings. They literally they pull out cancer, they pull
Speaker 1: out suicide, they pull out pregnant woman getting killed. They
Speaker 1: get Yeah, it's like it's so it try. It tries
Speaker 1: to hurt you so badly. It's really funny, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't pay off. They literally have flashbacks where Olivia Wild
Speaker 1: God bless her, they have her and I don't even
Speaker 1: think it's a lace front wig. I think it's like
Speaker 1: us to like party city right on top of her
Speaker 1: head and she's like supposed to be in college. It's
Speaker 1: a flashback to her in college and she runs she
Speaker 1: runs into the room and she's like, they're like doing
Speaker 1: beer there. I think they're like doing keg stands. It's
Speaker 1: like her in college and the guys are doing kig stands.
Speaker 1: And she runs into the room, uh her party city like,
Speaker 1: and she's like, my thesis, I come up with my
Speaker 1: thesis statement for me. Thesis life itself is. And I
Speaker 1: don't even remember what she says, but she's the movie
Speaker 1: title and the thesis of her so she essentially says
Speaker 1: that thesis of the whole movie I want to say.
Speaker 1: And I'm shocked that this is real, because I of
Speaker 1: course saw the trailer for this movie and thought it
Speaker 1: was hilarious but didn't pursue the movie. But Scott Chief
Speaker 1: film critic for The New York Times calls it inadvertently
Speaker 1: hilarious film filled with parental slaughter where mothers and fathers
Speaker 1: are hit by buses, parish and car accidents, commits to
Speaker 1: side and succumb to cancer. Though he praised the actors
Speaker 1: for their acting, That's the thing, That's what I was
Speaker 1: just about to say, is that the actors don't sell
Speaker 1: it out. The actors, Like every actor in that movie
Speaker 1: is a great actor and they have to for how
Speaker 1: wacky the story is, they stay committed. It's kind of
Speaker 1: why I appreciate like Pretty Little Liars now is that,
Speaker 1: like the show is so absurd, but like the thing
Speaker 1: the lines that they have to say, but the commitment
Speaker 1: that the actors have, it's like, you know, what choice
Speaker 1: do they have and they do a good job, but
Speaker 1: like I really think that, Um, it's just like it's
Speaker 1: really it's a good It would be a good movie,
Speaker 1: like if you're hanging out with someone who doesn't have
Speaker 1: what doesn't get triggered by like you know, you want
Speaker 1: to maybe like do it because there's like suicide and
Speaker 1: ship in it. But like it would be a good
Speaker 1: party watch for with friends if you're sure with friends,
Speaker 1: just to watch a movie that's like so wild. Literally.
Speaker 1: The cast is oscar Isaac, Olivia Wild, Mandy Patinkin Jeans Smart,
Speaker 1: Olivia Cook, Bow from a Net, Benning, Antonio Bin Derris,
Speaker 1: and Samuel L. Jackson as himself, the woman who gets cancer,
Speaker 1: the young woman who play ends up playing like it's
Speaker 1: like it goes through their lifetimes, so it's like the
Speaker 1: guy looks like a young woman. No, she's a I
Speaker 1: think she's a Spanish actor. She's like, she's like a
Speaker 1: she's like a forward model. Like she's just like like yes,
Speaker 1: and Antonia ben banderis um, she's just like the hottest
Speaker 1: conventionally hottest girl woman on earth. And then she gets
Speaker 1: cancer and also becomes old, and they put age makeup
Speaker 1: on her and they literally just wrap like a towel
Speaker 1: around her head to make her look sick and like
Speaker 1: truly just like put like they darken. It's like middle
Speaker 1: school stage theater makeup to make her like she has cancer.
Speaker 1: And she's like she's speaking in Spanish, but she's like,
Speaker 1: my life was beautiful and yet there's more I wanted
Speaker 1: out of it. And then she's like still you can
Speaker 1: tell it's like fully a twenty six year old like
Speaker 1: Ford model, what my son live on? Mandy Moored her right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I feel like Mandy Moore, they at least like
Speaker 1: the effects from what I've seen, looked a lot better
Speaker 1: than what they did. I think they tried to do
Speaker 1: it with this girl and she she was so hot
Speaker 1: it didn't work. Drag Mandy Moore for not being hot
Speaker 1: enough to defeat her old age makeup and have no
Speaker 1: regrets about what I said. Yeah, I didn't think I
Speaker 1: know exactly what I was implying, and I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I took this whole thing into that. I think, like
Speaker 1: people don't talk about Dan Fogelman enough, Like there's something
Speaker 1: very like I don't know this much about This Is Us,
Speaker 1: but like the fact that like people die because like
Speaker 1: an instant pod explodes or croc pod explodes, like that
Speaker 1: happens pretty much everything that happens in his shows or
Speaker 1: films are I can't believe happening. Like everything that you
Speaker 1: guys have even crazy. It's even crazier than Gray's Anatomy
Speaker 1: or Desperate House, Like it harkens back to that era
Speaker 1: of television where it's like primetime soap, and I guess
Speaker 1: This Is Us is like the closest thing we have
Speaker 1: to that, Like it's even crazier than that. To me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I see, I love that thought. We need soap operas
Speaker 1: to be soap operas. You have to remember, like it
Speaker 1: used to be like every episode someone fell down the stairs.
Speaker 1: So if there's a lion loose on with Steria Lane,
Speaker 1: we're doing the right thing. I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you like you think there's graz anatomy, do they
Speaker 1: still do every year? There's a huge tragedy. I have
Speaker 1: no idea. Well, and now they're doing the COVID stuff,
Speaker 1: where like God, they do COVID ony anomy. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's it's rough. That is such a
Speaker 1: choice because now for the rest of time it has
Speaker 1: to be about For as long as it's on now
Speaker 1: it has to be about COVID. They they got to
Speaker 1: hang it up. I mean, make your bed, like literally,
Speaker 1: get they I hope they have to keep writing about
Speaker 1: COVID that they like, they have to deal with the
Speaker 1: choice that they mean. Sandra Oh has done like five
Speaker 1: series since that ended. It's it's yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she just with the Chair. Have you watched the Chair?
Speaker 1: I watched some of it. Yeah I did too, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought Sandra was great. I just you don't even
Speaker 1: have to go into it. No, but look, if here's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say, the readers of the pod they
Speaker 1: want to hear what we think about stuff, and we've
Speaker 1: gone so far into life itself and this is us.
Speaker 1: So they really know what we've deal about it, and
Speaker 1: they also know that we fucking stand. The kids are
Speaker 1: all right. So I'm not going to bring up the
Speaker 1: Chair and say I watched some of it but not
Speaker 1: all of that without qualifying it. Here's my review. Sandra's
Speaker 1: fucking great. I just don't know if I care that
Speaker 1: much about the faculty at a liberal arts school. I
Speaker 1: just don't know if I care that much. It's a
Speaker 1: very dry show, and I think it like knows that
Speaker 1: about itself, and it's like it's an entertaining watch. It's not.
Speaker 1: It's not asking too much of the audience. It's it's
Speaker 1: six episodes their thirty minutes, which it's like it goes
Speaker 1: down easy. And I always I never complain about a
Speaker 1: show that is like that. I think, And I think
Speaker 1: there's great performances and then her and j D pots
Speaker 1: of really good chemistry. They're great. I think there could
Speaker 1: be a lion in that show that like, I would
Speaker 1: like it if they threw a lion. There are like
Speaker 1: a disease. So see the Chair is like so on
Speaker 1: the opposite end of that of a Dan Filgiman type
Speaker 1: of show. Now that we're just like, oh see, we
Speaker 1: want we want someone to shoot themselves. I can't believe
Speaker 1: that happened way because it's sound real, It's sound you
Speaker 1: were describing in the way that you've been describing the
Speaker 1: Ellen feud, and I'm like, this is oh, this is
Speaker 1: just potty like and I'm not I'm not in a riff.
Speaker 1: I'm not How much do you do you wanna? Okay?
Speaker 1: I think this is an important time for you to
Speaker 1: like close the chapter on Ellen. If you think it's closed,
Speaker 1: what was it? Like You've told me a little bit
Speaker 1: about how whatever we want to share about going on
Speaker 1: Ellen in her last season when you came to face
Speaker 1: to face with your arrival, um well, and what I
Speaker 1: have to say about the experiences that I was pretty
Speaker 1: nervous going into it. I when I was asked to
Speaker 1: do it, I was like, I think they're probably going
Speaker 1: to find out all the stuff that I've said about
Speaker 1: Ellen in the past, and and to be honest, like
Speaker 1: a lot of the stuff that I've said on record
Speaker 1: about Ellen is off from like like that, like it's
Speaker 1: been a while, like since I guess the last time
Speaker 1: I had lost caltrisas was yes, since you described the
Speaker 1: bloody battle you had at your concert with her right,
Speaker 1: which was like it was like yeah, but that was all.
Speaker 1: It was very it was absurd and I was making
Speaker 1: it up and it was a joke and like I
Speaker 1: said stuff about her and like other interviews to um
Speaker 1: about like the George Bush stuff, and I just didn't
Speaker 1: like for you again. Know they're they're coming again. They're
Speaker 1: just now coming for Juliet more. They just they passed
Speaker 1: the house once before. Yeah, and they went and they
Speaker 1: they arrested Um Taboo from Black Eyed Peace. They're like,
Speaker 1: there he is, that's Patty Harrison Um and they arrested.
Speaker 1: He keeps getting mistaken for me. And the thing that
Speaker 1: sex is that he loves the attention to Asian icons.
Speaker 1: Two long haired Asian icons. Taboo wouldn't Patty sitting in
Speaker 1: a tree f I n g E r I n
Speaker 1: g e A c h O t h E r
Speaker 1: I n t h E t r E yes fingering
Speaker 1: asshole in the tree, fingering each other, fingering each other.
Speaker 1: I can't even spell, and I spelled it so slow. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I need to take it back. Taboo was
Speaker 1: not Asian. Taboo was Mexican. We're going to keep that
Speaker 1: in but okay, so you did some silent research though
Speaker 1: I didn't even hear the typing, and I just loved.
Speaker 1: I love that The Google search was is taboo from
Speaker 1: Black Eyed Peas Asian boo, Asian woman, taboo woman, taboo taboo.
Speaker 1: We need to know. I was on Wikipedia. I was
Speaker 1: already on with the pen and I looked up taboo
Speaker 1: black Eyed Peas. I did not add any like identifiers
Speaker 1: or anything, and nothing came up. So I just went
Speaker 1: to the black Eyed Peace page and then clicked taboo
Speaker 1: and then looked up h Early Life. So is the
Speaker 1: Black Eyed Pea website just all the members and next
Speaker 1: to them it says their race. I mean it could
Speaker 1: be yeah, I think that looks like Fergie White. No,
Speaker 1: Fregy's race would be listed and this is there and
Speaker 1: this is their wording, not mine. It would be the
Speaker 1: R word because they used it. They every time that
Speaker 1: song gets played, that's them using the R word. Listening
Speaker 1: to that song. Now, listen the clarity in which they
Speaker 1: say it in the studio record. How much they enunciate
Speaker 1: the word every like every what? What? What? What are
Speaker 1: the linguistics behind it? Like t like like is it fricative?
Speaker 1: Closive fricative to to I think is closive right because
Speaker 1: it's yeah, you're pushing the air right, tend to are
Speaker 1: really aggressive on that. But Fergie can, she can. They
Speaker 1: can still sing that because Fergie that's her race. She
Speaker 1: identifies that the race. Yeah, and that's why people people
Speaker 1: need to like get off their fucking little PCs j
Speaker 1: W culpits and say that and they need to learn
Speaker 1: that like that. She actually has agency to say it
Speaker 1: because she identifies as that. Um and she even said
Speaker 1: she they say it in the song. They all identify
Speaker 1: as that, but um pc W culture bring back the
Speaker 1: uncensored version of that song of when You Get It started.
Speaker 1: Igzela said it too. And my flow the word she
Speaker 1: describes her flow as she is like she I think
Speaker 1: is needs she needs some like aloe on her soul. Um.
Speaker 1: But I love that. But I do want to say,
Speaker 1: because you uh, someone I saw the other day and
Speaker 1: I just like looked at on a random Instagram post,
Speaker 1: I got a notification and I like I really skimmed them.
Speaker 1: That's something that I trained myself to do. It's like
Speaker 1: I'm like, don't go through my notifications like with intent
Speaker 1: or attention, Just like skim if you see something catch
Speaker 1: your eye. Great. It's the same with my message request
Speaker 1: because I get like insane messages and it's just not
Speaker 1: worth it. But I saw this person just commented Tronny
Speaker 1: really big on one of my sixtures. But and I
Speaker 1: was like like yeah, like when we were talking like
Speaker 1: rahnny um, and I was like, oh, us nice. And
Speaker 1: then I looked at their profoule and it's just like
Speaker 1: a white Sisters woman. And that was the thing where
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I think she listens to
Speaker 1: Lost culturest does I think she is meaning well? And
Speaker 1: and so I was like, is this a moment where
Speaker 1: I a teachable moment where I can send her like
Speaker 1: anx DM. And I was like I just don't. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna let her live in that and she can
Speaker 1: just like have her joy around getting to comment TRONI something.
Speaker 1: But I think she's like doing it like in fellowship
Speaker 1: with me, like feeling like ha ha Trani, We're we
Speaker 1: can all see. And I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I actually don't want to. I don't I don't care
Speaker 1: if like at this point, I'm not even gonna like
Speaker 1: put energy into into I guess trying to dissect like
Speaker 1: agency around gate keeping language it to that degree. So
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know what, I just don't give
Speaker 1: a ship because this is just like a person I
Speaker 1: don't know and it won't meet whatever. But um um,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean there's a world where maybe she's
Speaker 1: she's they she or something like a fab they she,
Speaker 1: But even then it's like that is like an interesting thing.
Speaker 1: That is why I have opted out of the conversation
Speaker 1: is with like the they she of it all is
Speaker 1: like in people who are like gender fluid, and which
Speaker 1: I do like I think is valid. I think non
Speaker 1: binary identities are completely valid, but I think it's it
Speaker 1: is still gives me a jolt when like like cis
Speaker 1: presenting a fab they she's that are hyper fem they
Speaker 1: she's will like start throwing the word training around in
Speaker 1: front of me, and I'm like, oh, I don't think
Speaker 1: you've lived with that word or had it used at
Speaker 1: you in a way that it's like, I know that
Speaker 1: you feel you're integrated into this like culture. Now. I
Speaker 1: think the Internet expedites that that feeling of like, oh
Speaker 1: this is my I have access to this now, but
Speaker 1: it is still jarring for me in a way that
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna anytime I
Speaker 1: see this happening, I'm just not investigating it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be trying my inner gen tip ordering food from California
Speaker 1: Chicken Cafe. Go for Chicken Cafe. In my ass, well,
Speaker 1: this is like I don't have that much insightful things
Speaker 1: I do. You always say stuff like that, but then
Speaker 1: you always say something like no no no no no
Speaker 1: no no no. But he's getting your defenses down, so
Speaker 1: you assume you're going to hear some dumb ship and
Speaker 1: then when he hits you with something wise, that's part
Speaker 1: of it. I'm about to say the dumbest thing I've
Speaker 1: ever said in my life. But I feel like this
Speaker 1: is a thing that I think is part of this
Speaker 1: cultural conflict in the trans community between like it's not
Speaker 1: quite I feel like the conflict is not quite like
Speaker 1: trucecum versus transgender thing like where it's like there are
Speaker 1: like there there is like a gate keeping segment of
Speaker 1: the trans population that are like you have not had
Speaker 1: a lived in trans experience, and therefore you are not
Speaker 1: you you you don't you should not like throw around
Speaker 1: certain words or concepts and the and the way that
Speaker 1: you capitally we are and then but it's like who
Speaker 1: but them, like how much how much gatekeeping like is
Speaker 1: actually like beneficial or helpful, Like it's it's it is
Speaker 1: things where it's like, well if if we're trying to
Speaker 1: destroy like gender like ideas that are like very like
Speaker 1: deeply programmed into things, and like where do you I think,
Speaker 1: like like where do you like rebuild from It's it's
Speaker 1: it's tough. Yeah, I mean I get I understand like
Speaker 1: the the frustration and the anger around like you know
Speaker 1: when when people do use that language that other people
Speaker 1: are like, you know, you don't have you haven't done
Speaker 1: the ground the footwork or the ground where to like
Speaker 1: have that word and your your vocabulary. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: I think in terms of like caring for like trans people,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm like divesting in my energy into that
Speaker 1: because it just seems like people put us so much
Speaker 1: energy into this discourse around I don't even call it
Speaker 1: discourse I have. I'm like, I think just like being
Speaker 1: obsessively online for like most of my twenties, I'm like
Speaker 1: I learned a lot, but I also am I'm like
Speaker 1: I feel like as long as I'm online, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like, what what do
Speaker 1: I do in my lived life? In person? I'm not
Speaker 1: going to scream this person's head off because I'm like there,
Speaker 1: it's just like really hard. It would be really hard
Speaker 1: to objectively clock some the level of someone's experience and
Speaker 1: agency and their trans experience before they can like start
Speaker 1: saying a word whatever. I'm just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: Like I would rather just order food from California And
Speaker 1: this is how you learn that I have like a
Speaker 1: four hundred thousand dollar deal with California ship in cafe
Speaker 1: trends if there was less in fighting in the trans community.
Speaker 1: Now I get it too. It's like I have frustrations
Speaker 1: around that stuff too, but I just like have opted
Speaker 1: to to divest and not because I'm like at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: the only person who knows the authenticity of like a
Speaker 1: person and their experience is that person. Like it's just
Speaker 1: like there's no I think it just goes across the
Speaker 1: board in every situation, in every relationship that you have.
Speaker 1: But like I don't have the tools and I will
Speaker 1: just simply never know. I can't be a detective to like,
Speaker 1: you know, if I am doing detective work, to just
Speaker 1: like figure out if this person is like as trans
Speaker 1: as they say they are. Something. It's like why do
Speaker 1: I care? Like why I'm there are other people who
Speaker 1: are much more toxic to me than like this well
Speaker 1: meaning commenting in all caps, forty exclamation boards points try, well,
Speaker 1: this is this is the thing. This is how It's
Speaker 1: not the same. It's not like the same like analog.
Speaker 1: But like I heard someone I heard, I heard this
Speaker 1: professor say this about like racism as it pertains to
Speaker 1: Like this was like right around like March, when like
Speaker 1: I was like just I don't know, like taking a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff in and you know, there was a
Speaker 1: professor who was just like you know, my husband and
Speaker 1: I were like waiting at some like bus stop in
Speaker 1: Germany and this like old woman was like glaring at
Speaker 1: us and like being awful and like like muttering all
Speaker 1: these like racist German things under her breath. And then
Speaker 1: my husband was like, should we say something? And then
Speaker 1: she was like no, Like what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: Like yell at this old woman to stop. Like it's
Speaker 1: like they're like the thing to think about is there
Speaker 1: are racists who can hurt you and there are racists
Speaker 1: who can't. It's like it's like it's the frame of
Speaker 1: it should be around like power, and so it's like
Speaker 1: does this white person like who like presents super fem
Speaker 1: but it's like using the she pronouns like ken they
Speaker 1: hurt you, probably not. And so as it relates to
Speaker 1: like our white feministenership of this show, like I think
Speaker 1: Matt and I remember Matt remember We're not going to
Speaker 1: name names, but there was one time where we were
Speaker 1: at a show where there was this like I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say which city, but there was a performer, a white,
Speaker 1: a fab person who performed in her I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: was I don't think so, honey. Minions you look like
Speaker 1: the kids who make you in factories or whatever, like
Speaker 1: you look like Asian people. And I always like literally
Speaker 1: five feet away from her, and I was like, and
Speaker 1: I think people were like there was there was tension
Speaker 1: in the room because they're like, oh, like this is
Speaker 1: like blatantly racist Asian people. And in the moment, I
Speaker 1: was just like I don't fucking care, like she's this
Speaker 1: like she's this person I'm never I'm probably never going
Speaker 1: to see again, and like I don't have to waste
Speaker 1: any energy on like her like misguided attempt at humor,
Speaker 1: like because so humiliating for her that I'm not embarrassed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's more cringe than it is like offensive, because you're
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, God, like this so not right and
Speaker 1: so like and and that's not like that that is
Speaker 1: also not like the proper and allot to like this
Speaker 1: person Patty that's in your comments, but like who thinks that,
Speaker 1: like they have this familiarity with you and to like
Speaker 1: type in all caps this word that you made up,
Speaker 1: um the flur that you made up, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, well, I just I know I appreciate
Speaker 1: what you said about that too. I think, like I
Speaker 1: think it's just a moment of discernment if you have
Speaker 1: the stamina and like engaging kind of the the little
Speaker 1: details of each each occurrence case by case basis of
Speaker 1: when of when it's like okay, like you know, is
Speaker 1: this is this worth my time and energy? Is this
Speaker 1: going to be good for me personally? Like? My is
Speaker 1: that how you felt with Ellen when you were face
Speaker 1: to face with her? You were like, oh right, Well
Speaker 1: to get back to that I will say that I
Speaker 1: was really you know, going into that interview, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be a good sport. I am excited
Speaker 1: to get to do it. It is crazy like my
Speaker 1: I literally my fourth grade teacher, Eileen, who was like
Speaker 1: my best friends in high school's parents mom. She was
Speaker 1: the mom, and she I would like get off the
Speaker 1: bus and go watch Ellen with them, or like a
Speaker 1: get or like after school when when my friends started driving,
Speaker 1: like that's like the first thing we would do when
Speaker 1: we'd get back and like, um, so there is this
Speaker 1: like internalized magic about that that I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: above that. I'm not above like wanting the school experience.
Speaker 1: And the things that I said were like either jokes
Speaker 1: or from years ago. And then our teams talked to
Speaker 1: kind of clarify that I wasn't gonna like do anything
Speaker 1: to ambush her, like that she wasn't gonna do anything
Speaker 1: to like ambush me. It was like very like felt
Speaker 1: out in advance. And then but I really went in
Speaker 1: with like blank slate, I'm just gonna like I'm here
Speaker 1: to kind of promote the movie and that's all it
Speaker 1: has to be. I think she's kind of been through
Speaker 1: the ringer. I don't again that energy preserved thing. It's
Speaker 1: like I don't want to when you're like with somebody
Speaker 1: in person, it's like, oh yeah, I remember that this
Speaker 1: person as a person. Whatever. So when the day we
Speaker 1: were it was really quick. I just went into the studio.
Speaker 1: I got there. My makeup artist Kirston came with me.
Speaker 1: Kirston Coleman, she's fucking amazing. She's like, she's so sick.
Speaker 1: She went with me, and then Ellen came to my
Speaker 1: dressing room beforehand and said high and it was very
Speaker 1: like very nice, very brief um. And then that we
Speaker 1: did like a pre interview, so we knew what we
Speaker 1: were going to talk about. In the pre interview, they asked,
Speaker 1: do you like a couple of questions, so it's like
Speaker 1: the phone call the day before and they just kind
Speaker 1: of they're like, okay, so here are some things we
Speaker 1: talked about, and then you feel it out to see
Speaker 1: if there are any interesting stories so that you optimize
Speaker 1: the interview time, like I think every interview talk show
Speaker 1: is like that, so that you're not like wildcarding saying
Speaker 1: something random um and you know, or giving a boring
Speaker 1: interview on TV UM. So we had the pre interview.
Speaker 1: It was nice, and then I went on and it's
Speaker 1: in COVID, so there's no screens. Yeah, it was literally
Speaker 1: like people watching on zoom but there's no audience. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. It was exactly that. It was very like
Speaker 1: like sci fi or whatever. But there was like some
Speaker 1: producers standing in the wings and Ellen, you know, she's
Speaker 1: sitting there and she's greeting you. The stage is like bigger.
Speaker 1: You don't you don't hug her. I can't remember if
Speaker 1: we hugged or not. I think I we like elbow
Speaker 1: bumped or something, or we sat down or maybe we Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember if we hugged, but um, yeah it was.
Speaker 1: I literally was. So I was nervous that I was like,
Speaker 1: is any of this past stuff gonna come up? And
Speaker 1: it was. It was nice, Like you can watch the
Speaker 1: interview online. So she leaned in like I don't know
Speaker 1: if you saw it, it was okay, yeah, like they
Speaker 1: cuts the commercial and like there's a little moment where
Speaker 1: she leans in and like we like giggle and then
Speaker 1: I like walk off stage or whatever, and that's like
Speaker 1: you don't hear what was being said. But like right
Speaker 1: after the interview, I was because I was like saying
Speaker 1: that I was nervous, and she was like, can you
Speaker 1: tell that your tits are so fucking deformed? Your stupid
Speaker 1: ugly Your breast implants are like literally hanging lower than
Speaker 1: they need to be. And I was like, han, She's like, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: you he she tranny, I'm talking to you. And I said,
Speaker 1: excuse me, excuse me? Do you hear yourself? Are you serious?
Speaker 1: Do you know you're being recorded? She said no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no she It was so funked up. She says, no, no,
Speaker 1: she the mics are off. Now the eneviews over look
Speaker 1: at the little ticker and I looked over. I looked
Speaker 1: and there was a little ticker and that had the
Speaker 1: time on it. And I said, oh my god, it froze.
Speaker 1: Does that mean? And she's like, yeah, the recording stop.
Speaker 1: No one knows what the hell I'm saying to you.
Speaker 1: And I said, this is fucked up. When I guess what,
Speaker 1: I don't have breast implants. I don't have breast implants.
Speaker 1: I just started hormone therapy and the tissues not growing
Speaker 1: in evenly. She didn't even know. You know what she did?
Speaker 1: She stood up, She stood up, and she turned and
Speaker 1: she slid down. She slid down her slacks just a
Speaker 1: little bit, and she revealed, right right above her butt crack,
Speaker 1: there's a little tattoo. I guess that it said, what
Speaker 1: did it say? No, No, don't do it. Oh my
Speaker 1: don't don't say it. No, I had to can't even
Speaker 1: say I can't. I shouldn't, you know, I really shouldn't
Speaker 1: say what the tattoos are? So wait, my gosh, it said.
Speaker 1: It said, said Jared fogel Free. He said he didn't
Speaker 1: do anything. And the people and it said, the people
Speaker 1: who said he did something wrong are wrong because I
Speaker 1: know them and I know that their liars. She is
Speaker 1: so fucking evil. And then she pulled her pants on
Speaker 1: a little further and she farted fucking and it fucking reeked.
Speaker 1: And you know why why, you know why because she's
Speaker 1: Keto And it was just like yeah, and it was
Speaker 1: enough and the heart was enough that it gave her
Speaker 1: a little boost forward and she kind of like and
Speaker 1: her pants were low around her knee, so she was like,
Speaker 1: well and she like had to catch herself on her chair.
Speaker 1: Did she successfully? Did she wants successfully catch herself? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She made it in the chair. She didn't fall. But
Speaker 1: I stood up. I told you, I stood up. Well
Speaker 1: what did you do? Did you defend yourself or what
Speaker 1: or not? This was your last chance to Yeah, I
Speaker 1: stood up and I said and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is so in approach. And before I could even get
Speaker 1: it out, she's points out. She's like, both of your
Speaker 1: both of your deformed breasts have fallen out of your shirt.
Speaker 1: And I looked down. She was right and they were out.
Speaker 1: And I looked and for the first they're not even
Speaker 1: they are they are And it's because I sleep on
Speaker 1: my stomach and so what they've been growing in my
Speaker 1: sleep when I had the hormones and they're growing on
Speaker 1: their growing kind of oh my god, you don't even
Speaker 1: let me say it. You didn't even let me say it.
Speaker 1: Let let me go, let me own my journey. Fucking
Speaker 1: oh my god. I want to call you a fagot,
Speaker 1: and I'm call me a frogge. You can call me
Speaker 1: a fragg I'm talking to my therapist now and she's
Speaker 1: saying that I use faggot in an attempt to claim
Speaker 1: an adjacent c to being siss, because that's where I
Speaker 1: feel power is. And I agreed, and we had sex
Speaker 1: and it was really bad. You should not have had
Speaker 1: sex with your therapist. That's one of the top rules.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my therapist. He fucking fucking highest, biggest tits.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Chin to her chin like literally literally
Speaker 1: when when we're pile driving, she's like she's upside down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's into when cheese spreads or her boobs. Both
Speaker 1: her eyes are bruised. Oh my god, smacking, smacking like big.
Speaker 1: It's like this. Did you did your elementary school have
Speaker 1: that phase where you had milk in a bag like chocolate,
Speaker 1: you have to stab the bag with the straw. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: it's like that slapping. What color is her hair? It
Speaker 1: is fire red. Got so hot, hot hot red head
Speaker 1: with huge fucking tits and bruised face from the tips
Speaker 1: hitting her from getting Yeah, imagine she kind of looks
Speaker 1: like Detavantissa glasses. Oh my god. Wait, harder than sucking
Speaker 1: a chess game on the queen's gambit. Yeah, I saw
Speaker 1: the camera shake. I saw your camera shake on your
Speaker 1: laptop because you hit the bottom little bit. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: have a really big penis that gets very hard when
Speaker 1: I talk when I think about sex. Yeah, does your
Speaker 1: therapist your therapist Glasses shot her when the tips head.
Speaker 1: Uh No, it's it's like a really thick reinforced plastic
Speaker 1: that they've used on the popmobile. Smart lady vibes, Yeah
Speaker 1: she's smart, but yeah, anyways, um as I set up
Speaker 1: Ellen turning on, she shot me on fucking head and
Speaker 1: then but you survived, yea, Ellen, she was an audience
Speaker 1: and then she went if there was another Ellen in
Speaker 1: the audience up and was like, she is so messed up.
Speaker 1: It is so messed up that she did that. I know.
Speaker 1: But the thing in her house is that in lockdown,
Speaker 1: everyone in Lockdown is going through an immense amount of
Speaker 1: psychological trauma that we don't even We have so easily
Speaker 1: and quickly normalized the fact that like we all just
Speaker 1: carry on with our day to day lives because we
Speaker 1: have to, and we don't think about how lockdown is
Speaker 1: affecting us. I don't think if I don't think there's
Speaker 1: any world where, like hypothetical world where like if the
Speaker 1: pandemic didn't exist, that she would have gotten that Jared
Speaker 1: Vogel was innocent tattoo like setting free. The first time
Speaker 1: she had to do was pre pandemic. This is who
Speaker 1: she is, and don't don't let her convince you that
Speaker 1: she's changed at all. She's the same person. She's the
Speaker 1: same ugly person on the inside and out. She is
Speaker 1: picking me up today today. Remember when we thought the
Speaker 1: podcast was at when I was got worried because the
Speaker 1: emails had the time wrong and it said it was
Speaker 1: recording it almost completely. Okay, it's really okay because sometimes
Speaker 1: people wreak a little havoc, and that havoc is paid
Speaker 1: for in hell chaos theory. What are you guys doing today?
Speaker 1: That's taking you up for? Where are you going? We're
Speaker 1: gonna go to Greta v am Fleet concert. No, you
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen? Hi me run again? Isn't
Speaker 1: a Living of eight? That's rush? Okay? But Patty, I
Speaker 1: feel like this is actually a beautiful sort of like
Speaker 1: I think this is like very like um, you know,
Speaker 1: like first like the Harry Potter books, like the Seven
Speaker 1: Books are over. But now there's a new sort of
Speaker 1: like territory in the I P that we get to explore,
Speaker 1: which is the post Ellen talk show era. And now
Speaker 1: like the fight is like kind of like really like
Speaker 1: entering this new territory. And I think This is really exciting.
Speaker 1: This is like to big continued, Well, it's like, what
Speaker 1: is the other movie with Eddie redmain Um, fantastic The
Speaker 1: Danish Girl? Oh yeah, fantastic beasts. Fantastic. Hey, you want
Speaker 1: to talk about a fantastic beast, try seeing the Danish girl.
Speaker 1: She was ugly dog. She's a dog. That Danish dog
Speaker 1: should be called fantastic beast. Ugly bit. Damn wow. This
Speaker 1: character that you're playing telling no lies, girl, She's telling
Speaker 1: no lies, damn Danish girl. More like, get yourself some
Speaker 1: fucking highlighter, your damn dog. I learn where your t
Speaker 1: zone is, your fucking damn dog. God, there should be there.
Speaker 1: There's anything like a Jeff Foxworthy type of stand up
Speaker 1: and not that that was like a Duff box Worthy
Speaker 1: type of just like just Heartland stand up but like
Speaker 1: comedy touring, blue cog comedy. Yeah, that's what I was
Speaker 1: going for it. But like but like talks specifically and
Speaker 1: like specific niche clear references, not that Danish girls specific
Speaker 1: in niche, but like it's just like that nearest contrapoint
Speaker 1: was real? Was a real was a real head scratcher,
Speaker 1: wasn't it? That was the worst color they'd never heard
Speaker 1: of yellow or Ran. I hated that lesbian film pussies
Speaker 1: are fake as meal. They were not even real pussies.
Speaker 1: Not even one came on a damn screen prosthetic pussy.
Speaker 1: More like more like and see you later, wait me up.
Speaker 1: When Rachel McAdams spit and Rachel Vox's mouth again, that's
Speaker 1: female sociality. I'm gonna be real honest with y'all. I've
Speaker 1: never even saw Moonline. Okay, I'm just gonna be the
Speaker 1: woman comic on the door. I'm gonna get some ship
Speaker 1: for that, but I men't see it, okay, And I
Speaker 1: just want to stay. I just want to say before
Speaker 1: this gets sound bit, did that? I'm from Orient, Ohio
Speaker 1: and everybody fucking talks like that, So yeah, I have
Speaker 1: the fucking agency to do a voice like this. Have
Speaker 1: you have you gone home to Have you gone home
Speaker 1: to currn? Hey? Have you gone home to see your
Speaker 1: fucking hick family recently? Yeah? I did? Yeah? Well, how
Speaker 1: was that? It was really emotional on lame. My mom's
Speaker 1: moving out of my childhood home. What's gonna go? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's gonna go to another house that is like far
Speaker 1: a little bit smaller downside. It is actually a little
Speaker 1: bit smaller, but I think it's a little nicer. It's
Speaker 1: not falling apart as much. And it's it's not like
Speaker 1: in an area that I would really like her living in,
Speaker 1: just because it's like very trumpy. Um. And well she
Speaker 1: can start a movement there. Well, she's also very trumpy.
Speaker 1: I mean she could start she should started uprising of
Speaker 1: trumpers there. Yeah, that's true that you know what, that's true.
Speaker 1: She and she just needs a little plush and I'll
Speaker 1: be the person that gives her the little zoon she needs. Um.
Speaker 1: But then does this mean that will the animals have
Speaker 1: a place to roam because she has a lot of animals,
Speaker 1: doesn't she Well she no, not a lot, but she
Speaker 1: had some cats and a dog. But my sister is
Speaker 1: taking them, so they're still in the family. They're just
Speaker 1: they're going to be with her with my sister and
Speaker 1: said and my mom. So I got to see my sisters,
Speaker 1: which is really nice. Um, because normally I'm only home
Speaker 1: for Christmas. Do you guys go home a lot? I
Speaker 1: haven't gone. I used to go home, I would say
Speaker 1: too much. And I think this is a moment that
Speaker 1: we are readjusting because I see my family a good amount.
Speaker 1: I don't live I don't live in New York anymore,
Speaker 1: and so I don't see them all the time like
Speaker 1: I used to do. But I see them a good amount.
Speaker 1: But the pandemic it's different. But you know, I see
Speaker 1: them and correspond with them a good amount. I wanted
Speaker 1: to ask you guys a question though, Yeah, it has
Speaker 1: to do with what I said earlier. Um, about how
Speaker 1: you guys swam together. What happened in the pool that day? Well,
Speaker 1: there were multiple days. Well the first day, what happened? Well, well,
Speaker 1: first off bone when so we we worked on a
Speaker 1: movie together, a lot of Hollywood A listers. Juliette, Julianne Julianne,
Speaker 1: Juliette more Ptato, julian Posatoes, Um, Julianne Potatoes. What if
Speaker 1: someone just what if we had you know, we have
Speaker 1: these moments where it's like, oh, like someone bursts onto
Speaker 1: the scene like likes or whatever. Yeah, like like yeah,
Speaker 1: if there was just like someone who bursts onto the
Speaker 1: scene in her fifties and her name was Julianne Potatoes,
Speaker 1: why do you laugh like that? She just happened and
Speaker 1: she just showed up in everything. She happened like Clairefoy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she had Clairefoy girl. Mom. No, I felt like Clarifoy
Speaker 1: just like kind of was everywhere for a moment. Maybe
Speaker 1: that she was. She was in the Crown and then
Speaker 1: she know she was in the First Man movie, Neil
Speaker 1: Armstrong movie. She said, You're a bunch of boys. And
Speaker 1: she was the girl in the Dragon girl girl in
Speaker 1: the Yeah, she was. She played list Salderned, one of
Speaker 1: the great names. I hope I hope that a Julian
Speaker 1: and a Julian they're coming back. Um No, but Bowen
Speaker 1: and I, yeah, we were working has this big part
Speaker 1: in the movie. And it's not a big part. It's not.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's a fun part, but it's pretty small,
Speaker 1: I think. But I was there for a while. You
Speaker 1: were there for the whole thing. No, I wasn't. Oh
Speaker 1: they shot for they shot. They just got downe shoot,
Speaker 1: I know they did. They did, just get You're right,
Speaker 1: So you and I wrapped around the same tip. But
Speaker 1: I was just there. But I was there for a
Speaker 1: month and a half. Yeah, you were there for a week,
Speaker 1: and um I love that week. That was really fun.
Speaker 1: It was so fun. It really made me want to, Like,
Speaker 1: I think I've been fantasizing about going on like some
Speaker 1: sort of weird tropical vacation with friends literally for like
Speaker 1: years and years and years and years, and I've never
Speaker 1: done that. And that still doesn't I don't think that's
Speaker 1: still I don't think that still counts. Like I think
Speaker 1: that is just a preview, because it was we were
Speaker 1: still there for work, so we still had to like
Speaker 1: go do stuff, and but it was so cool because
Speaker 1: the first place we stayed they moved us around, it
Speaker 1: was in the Dominican Republic and Bowen got there and
Speaker 1: we got a place that had golf carts like ours.
Speaker 1: They go real fast. No, they went top what's faster
Speaker 1: than five ten? So I'll be lucky and gradeful what else?
Speaker 1: Thank you? It was it was fun. And then Patty
Speaker 1: and I, yeah, Patty moved around a bunch of resorts
Speaker 1: and I was there for two of them, and you.
Speaker 1: The second one was Punticana, which was kind of like
Speaker 1: a weird, nasty resort. But our rooms, the rooms they
Speaker 1: put us in were cool because they were they had
Speaker 1: a swim up They had a swim up pool to
Speaker 1: the patio, so like the back pool was there was
Speaker 1: a big, like a really long, thin, rectangular pool that
Speaker 1: ran along the back of the building. And our rooms
Speaker 1: are like patios, had steps down into the pool, so
Speaker 1: I could go swim over to Bones room. He was
Speaker 1: two rooms down, and one of the other actors was
Speaker 1: like right beside us, so we could like all like
Speaker 1: hang out. And it was really it was really starting
Speaker 1: to like be like like text bone and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I am swimming over and literally at like because we
Speaker 1: would wrap at like midnight or so it was like
Speaker 1: night swimming. That's so fun. So who did you guys
Speaker 1: ever have a race in the water? No? Oh, but
Speaker 1: you don't want to know something there was. There was
Speaker 1: a There was a duck. There are multiple ducks that
Speaker 1: came into the pool and they were so beautiful. Did
Speaker 1: you name her Chlorine? Because what she was all around? No, Chlarine.
Speaker 1: We didn't name her, but we did. We did sing
Speaker 1: Born this Way, like we felt the need to sing
Speaker 1: Born this Way too, like a very specific it was
Speaker 1: a queer duck. Yeah, well we were. We just saw
Speaker 1: the duck and I was like, I need to sing
Speaker 1: the song Born this Way by Lady Gaga. It was
Speaker 1: it was this, Are you ready? It was your orient
Speaker 1: That was you Lebanese, your Lebanese, your orientban don't be,
Speaker 1: don't be, don't be. Do a remix of it where
Speaker 1: I cut it together and just I cut together that
Speaker 1: don't be from don't be a bat drag queen or
Speaker 1: she goes, don't be so, don't be your Lebanese, don't
Speaker 1: be don't be gay, straight up, don't be don't be transgender? Yeah, Ori,
Speaker 1: and don't be baby baby? I was Orients. They yeah,
Speaker 1: what's your baby? I was orient Baby? I was Orient Orient.
Speaker 1: I'm beautiful in my way because I'm as anyway. That's
Speaker 1: the pool. It was really fun and but what I
Speaker 1: was going to say, it made me want to like
Speaker 1: actually plan a vacation like somewhere, because I've traveled for
Speaker 1: work a little bit and I'm always like take it
Speaker 1: as a vacation, but it's not an actual vacation because
Speaker 1: I'm stressing about working all the time. So it would
Speaker 1: be nice to do replicate that again. But I think
Speaker 1: that's kind of when do you want to do it,
Speaker 1: Let's plan it. No, But the fire Island trips, like
Speaker 1: there's still like this like social pressure to like do
Speaker 1: certain things um and I would love a vacation that
Speaker 1: was just like fully like like people like brought food
Speaker 1: to you, you know, like I need That's what I need. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like completely glazing over and not having any I
Speaker 1: don't want to be like, hey, guys, were actually going
Speaker 1: to go to this museum and one pm and then
Speaker 1: we're going to get in we have reservations at this
Speaker 1: place that blah blah blah. It's like those plans every
Speaker 1: like maybe like one day on the trip, but like
Speaker 1: I like the spontaneity of just being like, oh, I
Speaker 1: have this free time to just kind of like mosy around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you want to do like a proper relaxing beach vacation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never done that. I don't have a trip plans.
Speaker 1: I realized I don't have it. I don't have travel
Speaker 1: plans at all, Like I have nothing planned. The funny
Speaker 1: thing is I keep saying let's plan it. I've said
Speaker 1: it two times in the past. Literally, it's two times
Speaker 1: in the last five let's planet. No one heard it. Well,
Speaker 1: I've been saying it, and I have a very my
Speaker 1: voice is very resonant. Okay, I would let's planet. The
Speaker 1: week of Halloween a spooky really yeah, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's your birthday, and that's your birthday, my birthday. But
Speaker 1: the thing is is I won't make it about my birthday.
Speaker 1: We can, we will know, but my birthday is the
Speaker 1: next week, and so we can make it about if
Speaker 1: you want to take the pressure off, we can make
Speaker 1: you make it about multiple birthdays. I would literally do that.
Speaker 1: I have, I have, I don't have anything going on
Speaker 1: at that time. Well, Bowen, let's you and me keep
Speaker 1: let's keep talking, just you and me, Bowen, and then Matt, Matt,
Speaker 1: if you want it, I will go on a trip
Speaker 1: with you to get butter beer at whatever. Harry sutter
Speaker 1: that now I know that you can't get enough of
Speaker 1: that dumb gay shit butter beer. Look at your life.
Speaker 1: Harry Potter fan Daniel Radcliffe says it's okay to go
Speaker 1: to Harry Potter world still, because if you look at
Speaker 1: something from Harry Potter, her, that's you, good life. Tools
Speaker 1: You should not let that turf ruin it for you.
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing is is that is that
Speaker 1: that's hard is that I was a big, very hairy
Speaker 1: Potter fan. So talk about your love for Harry Potter,
Speaker 1: now so that we can sort of get you on
Speaker 1: record doing that. I at a young age, I really
Speaker 1: started loving Harry Potter. I think Harry Potter. I really did.
Speaker 1: I really did. I only read the first four books,
Speaker 1: and it was like when I was a kid, and
Speaker 1: then the movie started to come out, and I really
Speaker 1: loved the first four movies, and then I liked the
Speaker 1: other movies after I liked that it. I think it's
Speaker 1: because I like, like around the holiday time, Like I
Speaker 1: like around Christmas and Thanksgiving, Like I really like that
Speaker 1: time of year, and that's when like ABC Family would
Speaker 1: start playing the marathons of Harry Potter, like it kind
Speaker 1: of all signified the same. I think there's just like
Speaker 1: a lot a mental tie in with like that season
Speaker 1: and feeling like fall and I do you know, I
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of really funny, nice moments in
Speaker 1: those movies that are you know, ingrained in my brain,
Speaker 1: but also, you know, there's all the stuff surrounding it
Speaker 1: that's just like a big bummer. And I really hope
Speaker 1: that j. K. Rowling finds healing um in her life
Speaker 1: and that she can come around and that we can
Speaker 1: have the first Harry Potter book Room movie Fry Potter
Speaker 1: becomes a maybe Harry Potter decides one day that she's tired,
Speaker 1: she is tired of living, of living a secret, magical life,
Speaker 1: and so she's as a polyjuice potion to turn herself
Speaker 1: for one day into a woman, just to see what
Speaker 1: it feels like. And she goes to hide in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: And she goes into the bathroom. Yeah, she takes us
Speaker 1: a to the woman's bathroom, and as a woman, she
Speaker 1: just assaults a bunch of kids in the bathroom. But
Speaker 1: she it's like, it's kind of like, I think j
Speaker 1: K would really like to write a book like that,
Speaker 1: because that's kind of what she she loves to write about.
Speaker 1: So it's like, Harry Potter, you could take a pologuice potion,
Speaker 1: get all the ingredients. Make sure you get all the
Speaker 1: ingredients you need the hair of the person you want
Speaker 1: to transform into, don't forget and don't forget, and then
Speaker 1: you wear you a little invisibility click into the bathrooms
Speaker 1: because oh, the transformation is a little painful, but it's well, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm very I'm turning into a beautiful girl in the
Speaker 1: bathroom who loves kid. Did she ever write in the
Speaker 1: books like they took the apologies potion and then they
Speaker 1: looked at their own dicks or their new genitals and
Speaker 1: they're like, WHOA nice? Like that is like, I don't
Speaker 1: the first thing you would do. I actually don't think
Speaker 1: that there was, but I think it might be a
Speaker 1: thing where I don't think a male character turns into
Speaker 1: a female character. I don't think. I don't things. I'm
Speaker 1: from into the cat. I think if I think if
Speaker 1: I think if if like the male characters turned into
Speaker 1: another male character, the first thing you would do, you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, like be like, oh, whoa, I would
Speaker 1: And I'm saying male male characters specifically in the Harry
Speaker 1: Potter world, because trans people don't exist, and so the
Speaker 1: male the men have penises. Well, the magic Matt they
Speaker 1: there's a magic spell. There's a magic spell that makes
Speaker 1: everyone not dysphoric. No one feels any dysphoria in the
Speaker 1: Harry Potter world. It's like when you pass through the
Speaker 1: platform nine and three quarters into the Magical Realm, you're like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: sucks all your agenda just for you out of you?
Speaker 1: Read is trans The way she acts, the way she
Speaker 1: fucking acts, snooping around a little bit. She's nothing going
Speaker 1: on in her life. She's trans. She's at home on
Speaker 1: the internet all the time, so afraid to leave her
Speaker 1: fucking how she can't even take the trash can out
Speaker 1: because she's has anxiety. She's afraid of getting bashed, and
Speaker 1: she's like, what can I do? What else can I do?
Speaker 1: I can put on this little gay gass coat ugly
Speaker 1: like like ugly old Vinciae, Ralph Laura, not even good stuff,
Speaker 1: kind of like stuff Anna Wintour would like, and she
Speaker 1: just kind of goes out and just like trying to
Speaker 1: pay homage to like ugly starlets of whoever gives a
Speaker 1: fun time period. She's going around interviewing people. Are a
Speaker 1: little dumbass notepad that writes for itself. Yeah, you're a
Speaker 1: training queen. We all see it, and it's time for
Speaker 1: you to go home. You call your end of chronologist,
Speaker 1: to the end of Chronologists, and also like fine support,
Speaker 1: finally get out of the magical realm. It's not safe
Speaker 1: for you there. She doesn't write are the real world,
Speaker 1: It would be the villains, like if there were if
Speaker 1: they were in Harry Potter, if there were trans characters,
Speaker 1: they would be the villains. Um I wanted to before
Speaker 1: we go into UM, I don't think so, honey. I
Speaker 1: feel I would be remiss if we didn't say that
Speaker 1: you really were fabulous and together together and I was
Speaker 1: very proud of you in a real way, to drop
Speaker 1: all pretense orifice, all these things. You were so good
Speaker 1: and like, I was very proud of you. And I
Speaker 1: went to see you at the Universal CityWalk and and
Speaker 1: and it was my second movie back. I saw King Kong,
Speaker 1: Godzilla and then you, and you were the biggest monster
Speaker 1: on screen. J K. You fucking sucked and you're a monster.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well, mad, thank you for seeing the movie.
Speaker 1: I loved it, I really did. You were great. You
Speaker 1: were so good, so good, and well that means a
Speaker 1: lot to me. I really feel like there is this
Speaker 1: thing that, um there is. We watched What If We
Speaker 1: Flushed Evan. We pulled up the clipping and Patty was like, hey, yeah,
Speaker 1: it definitely was a really fun set improvised wise, um,
Speaker 1: we definitely. I was working with Ed Helms, who was
Speaker 1: amazing clap yeah, you know, I'm from the office, and
Speaker 1: he was really fun in our trailer, especially nice to
Speaker 1: each other. So we would have lunch together and it
Speaker 1: was crazy. He would do practical jokes. Here. He put
Speaker 1: a spider, a fake spider in my soup, and it
Speaker 1: was really fun out And anyway, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: That's what you should that's what you were. That is
Speaker 1: but a spider of my hair and my soup from
Speaker 1: California Chicken Cafine. What were you going to say about
Speaker 1: the film? I was just gonna say that it's it's
Speaker 1: nice of you. It's really nice of you to say that,
Speaker 1: And it means a lot to me that you saw it.
Speaker 1: An interesting phenomenon after or having the movie come out
Speaker 1: is that I think I had I just like promoted
Speaker 1: it a lot and so so I think people were
Speaker 1: aware that it was happening. But a lot of my
Speaker 1: friends not seeing it. And every time I see them,
Speaker 1: they they will tell me they haven't seen it yet,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, you don't have to. You don't
Speaker 1: actually ever have to see it. It is not in
Speaker 1: my I told you that because and the reason I
Speaker 1: said it was because I genuinely did want to go
Speaker 1: see it. The way, do you see I have the
Speaker 1: sock on my hand. I don't really have twos. I
Speaker 1: have two stocks on my hand and I don't know
Speaker 1: how it happened, but it sort of looks like your
Speaker 1: color scheme. You look like a doctor SEUs. But I remember,
Speaker 1: you know what it's when we did the reading. We
Speaker 1: did a reading for a movie Patty, and I saw
Speaker 1: you and I knew. I was like, oh, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen it yet, and I saw you make a little
Speaker 1: bit of a face like I didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: I thought maybe you were irritated that I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: it or and now and now I know, now I
Speaker 1: know that you felt like I don't know, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's my That look is like me about to be like,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to like, you don't have
Speaker 1: to see it doesn't hurt my feelings if like my
Speaker 1: friend I don't like, I don't see a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff that like my friends do not like. It's like
Speaker 1: if I know something is like really important to somebody
Speaker 1: and they've expressed that to me and it's like one
Speaker 1: of my best friends, then like, yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: see my friends work, but I don't get to catch everything.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the thing too, is just like
Speaker 1: having a lot of friends that are like being doing
Speaker 1: like making stuff. It's like, you don't see everything, so
Speaker 1: I don't ever expect anybody to see it. But people
Speaker 1: see me. If people run into me, and especially like
Speaker 1: in like at a lockdown, like they see me somewhere,
Speaker 1: the first thing they'll be like, oh, I haven't watched
Speaker 1: a movie yet, but I want to see it really badly.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you actually don't have to watch it.
Speaker 1: I don't feelings if you don't want to. But so
Speaker 1: all of that is to say, no, it's not stupid.
Speaker 1: I get it, though. I get because I think people
Speaker 1: like I think people get that it's like this. I
Speaker 1: think social media. I think social media, um really fun.
Speaker 1: It's really fun, an amazing time with it. Hell n
Speaker 1: set showed me the rock son up. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: there was one time on set the jock even the
Speaker 1: spider in myself, you should have done the out inter
Speaker 1: you like that for real? She'd been like when I
Speaker 1: was when I asked four years off my brother was
Speaker 1: killed in a car accident half a mile down the
Speaker 1: street from their house. It's informed my entire scope of
Speaker 1: the world. I interrupt and see empathy and others and
Speaker 1: in myself. But anyways, yeah, sorry, I don't know. Thank
Speaker 1: you for seeing it. I um, and first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not I. The only reason I bring it up
Speaker 1: now because I know how much it fucking bothers you,
Speaker 1: is because I want people out there that are listeners
Speaker 1: of the Pot and readers of the Pots to see
Speaker 1: it too, because I think it would enrich their life. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that's the only reason I tell you, whether or
Speaker 1: not I saw what you've done, is because I actually
Speaker 1: liked it a lot and I think it would enrich
Speaker 1: their life. Okay, Well, thank you. That's really kind of
Speaker 1: you to promote the movie on the podcast. I do
Speaker 1: appreciate it. I was about to burn the readers. Don't
Speaker 1: have you. You don't have to lif you see Patty.
Speaker 1: Don't tell her old. Don't tell her that I don't
Speaker 1: have to be the first thing you tell her. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me you haven't seen the movie. If you have that,
Speaker 1: it makes sense. It's like an indie movie. No one
Speaker 1: sees that ship. It's it's not god Zilla versus King Kong. Yeah, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, I definitely saw first. That was top
Speaker 1: of my list. I was like, oh, I can see
Speaker 1: a movie. Well, I'm definitely not seeing no indie. I'm
Speaker 1: going I watched the until I think literally maybe twenty
Speaker 1: minutes into the movie when they're fighting on the boats.
Speaker 1: They're standing on the big like carrier ship fighting, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I've suspended my disbelief for this whole time,
Speaker 1: and I just can't suspend it this much, you know.
Speaker 1: I was like, this, just those boats, this is just
Speaker 1: not how the physics would work. Yeah, I was like,
Speaker 1: Ed Helms and Patty haven't fucked yet. I was like,
Speaker 1: I've suspended my disbelief for this long. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is platonic. Like I was like that they have railed
Speaker 1: each other yet. No, we are characters do what everyone
Speaker 1: says that it's a movie about platonic friendships. But there
Speaker 1: is a scene. There's a scene, there's literally a scene, well,
Speaker 1: we go for, we go for, Like it's in the
Speaker 1: beginning of the movie. Sorry, remember when I said let
Speaker 1: me be the one who Earlier earlier in the podcast,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, can you let me steer my own journey?
Speaker 1: You often interrupt me. Well, I am saying it now, Okay, okay, Sorry,
Speaker 1: there's a scene earlier in the movie. There's a scene
Speaker 1: early in the movie where he felt just me and
Speaker 1: then but wait and then are you and a Julio's
Speaker 1: character platonic in the movie too? Or do you guys
Speaker 1: do is there something sexual there? Uh? We are platonic,
Speaker 1: but Julio does um, he fus Gavin McGinnis, Gavin McGinnis
Speaker 1: the guy, the former vice guy who became the leader.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, but he's dressed as a woman and
Speaker 1: that's the thing. And then um, and then Gavin McGinnis
Speaker 1: like panic beats him up and then it has it's
Speaker 1: been off in the works where that's the court case
Speaker 1: about like gay panics. Is Nicole doing that one too? Um?
Speaker 1: Nicole back with is signed on to do that movie.
Speaker 1: It is being made by Anna Parna and Radio Shack
Speaker 1: and Radio Shacks having a big comeback and they put
Speaker 1: a lot of money into this and it's just really
Speaker 1: cool and great that they're invested in arts. And I
Speaker 1: think that's really that's really commendable, amazing, that's amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited for you. I'm so excited. I'm so excited,
Speaker 1: so excited. You're like a movie star. That's so amazing. Movies,
Speaker 1: it feels and I feel it too, is the thing.
Speaker 1: The thing is I walk when I go out and
Speaker 1: I walked to get my groceries and I'm wearing my
Speaker 1: sun dressed and my sneakers that are white, but they
Speaker 1: got a little dirt relable what I Um, Yeah, I guess,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't try not to look at
Speaker 1: it that way. They're just shoes, after all. Um people
Speaker 1: do stop and they look at me, and I'm knowing
Speaker 1: in that moment that they're not just looking at me
Speaker 1: because if my height or my curve in all the
Speaker 1: right places are my rests that are just the right height,
Speaker 1: not too big, but a good handful. They're recognizing me
Speaker 1: from something that they watched and something that they falled
Speaker 1: over in a character that they fell in love with.
Speaker 1: And there's something incredible about that. And I don't know.
Speaker 1: In the COVID nineteen of it all, I feel that
Speaker 1: there's so little magic left in ourselves. We're optimistic, We're
Speaker 1: not optimistic. We're pessimistic if anything. And I would just
Speaker 1: like more people to be able to feel what it
Speaker 1: feels like to be a movie star. And I think
Speaker 1: everyone should give it a try. I hope, I hope
Speaker 1: that I hope that thank you it is time for
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, it's a segment podcast that
Speaker 1: we do, and it's I'm not telling you, it's sixties
Speaker 1: seconds of ranting of about something in pop culture or
Speaker 1: life that we feel it's it's time for it to
Speaker 1: hear it, you know. M hmm. I want to go first. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so honey, time
Speaker 1: starts new. I don't think so honey, that I ever
Speaker 1: said a bad word about Christin Stewart. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come on here and say that I apologize because I
Speaker 1: have said many sort of as many people would call
Speaker 1: shady comments about Christmas Stewart. I have come on this
Speaker 1: podcast and said I don't think she does much of
Speaker 1: anything at all, and she just sort of shows up
Speaker 1: on camera and looks gorgeous and she gets a pass
Speaker 1: for it. And I thought her lip biting in Twilight
Speaker 1: sort of like was really all she did. And then
Speaker 1: sort of, you know, she moves on in Time, she
Speaker 1: does Clouds of Seals Maria, and she sort of like
Speaker 1: impresses me there and then all of a sudden, the
Speaker 1: Spencer trailer happens, and I have to say, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey myself because looks like she embodies Diana
Speaker 1: Spencer aprint this Diana Diana Partuss of Wales aka the
Speaker 1: basis for one of the most famous beanie babies of
Speaker 1: all time. And it looks like she is doing it beautifully.
Speaker 1: And I loved her. Two words that we heard in
Speaker 1: the trailer they don't. I thought that was really beautiful.
Speaker 1: And I think anyone that can hold their own opposite
Speaker 1: Sally Hawkins, one of the best British actresses, there's my respect.
Speaker 1: So I don't think so, honey meat for the things
Speaker 1: I've said, I eat crow, I eat crow path and
Speaker 1: that's one minute. You're in crowth. I mean crow actually
Speaker 1: said crow pie, but you say it with a Southern
Speaker 1: accent like Sutton Strack. I don't think you know who
Speaker 1: that is. But it's okay, Um, she's a real housewife
Speaker 1: of Beverly Hills. Okay, okay, Well, thank you for explaining
Speaker 1: it to me. Yeah, why did you feel the need
Speaker 1: to apologize about comments you made on about Curse's stewarts,
Speaker 1: Because I think I've been I think, honestly something and
Speaker 1: this is a this is a real thing, I think,
Speaker 1: and I'll just I'll just say this sometimes like I
Speaker 1: get very sensitive and for straighted when someone has something
Speaker 1: to say about me on the social media and I
Speaker 1: heard what you said before about like you know, like
Speaker 1: people like you couldn't feel like they can say whatever
Speaker 1: they want about you on social and then like you
Speaker 1: actually are a person and you're rather sensitive. And I've
Speaker 1: discovered about myself that I am sensitive. And it's actually
Speaker 1: been kind of interesting to have projects come out and
Speaker 1: then have them be up for consumption and have them
Speaker 1: be you know, discussed, and it's almost like people talk
Speaker 1: about you like as if you are not a person.
Speaker 1: And it's been interesting to know that we've had this
Speaker 1: podcast for now going on like six years where we've
Speaker 1: sort of like discussed celebrities and like both like serious
Speaker 1: and non serious ways, like sometimes we have a lot
Speaker 1: of fun with them and other times we're like actually
Speaker 1: dissecting the work and stuff. And I think it can
Speaker 1: kind of get gray area E. But I think, UM,
Speaker 1: I've just been sort of examining the ways in which, um,
Speaker 1: I've like dragged certain people. And Kristen Stewart is someone
Speaker 1: that I dragged quite a bit, and I don't think
Speaker 1: she doesn't necessarily had did anything to deserve and and
Speaker 1: probably her experience with fame was very painful, and especially
Speaker 1: knowing that she's a member of the queer community and
Speaker 1: that she probably had a lot of things going on
Speaker 1: and was forced to sort of appear oh way that
Speaker 1: she was uncomfortable with. And I just think that I
Speaker 1: did not need to say things I've said about her,
Speaker 1: such as you know that she does nothing on screen.
Speaker 1: It's not her fault that she doesn't need to do
Speaker 1: much on screen to be effective. And I looked at
Speaker 1: this trailer and I thought, Wow, here she is like
Speaker 1: taking a really big swing, and it looks like it's
Speaker 1: really paying off. And I think that I really respect
Speaker 1: her because I think that she knows that she's someone
Speaker 1: that the media and you know, young people, especially as
Speaker 1: social media kind of grew to prominence as she became famous,
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun with um in ways that
Speaker 1: probably were not fun for her. And I examined my
Speaker 1: behavior and the way I've contributed to that conversation in
Speaker 1: the past, and I would like to say that I'm
Speaker 1: excited to see the movie, and I am apologetic about
Speaker 1: the ways in which I have dragged her in the past.
Speaker 1: I feel that it was not fair, and I feel
Speaker 1: I was being childish and immature, and now that I
Speaker 1: have a little bit more of an experience with it,
Speaker 1: I've retracted. Well, this is a very developed, very well
Speaker 1: thought out response to this big trailer that was a
Speaker 1: lot of fun to watch, very interesting, and that was that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that thank you for articulating that. I think that's it's
Speaker 1: really wonderful that you show a lot of growth in
Speaker 1: your in your perspective shift and kind of the empathy
Speaker 1: that you found only through kind of your own success,
Speaker 1: which is really it's you know, at least applaud yourself
Speaker 1: for that, where now you're in a place where like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, now I see that, you know it is.
Speaker 1: It is interesting how dehumanizing it is when people just
Speaker 1: don't think that, you know. It's like it's like the
Speaker 1: way you talk if you're venting and you're talking shit
Speaker 1: about someone that you know in your life, but they're
Speaker 1: not in the room. You take you take big swings.
Speaker 1: You're also trying to make your friends laugh. You're like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're maybe saying things that are more like
Speaker 1: venomous to get a reaction to be hyper You're being hyperbolic,
Speaker 1: and you're saying things you don't necessarily fully believe to like,
Speaker 1: you know, get a reaction and get a point across,
Speaker 1: make your friends left. But if that person was an earshot,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be talking about them that way. And I
Speaker 1: feel like that's kind of what the Internet is is
Speaker 1: people just think that you're out of the room, but
Speaker 1: really you can go that people can go and then
Speaker 1: like read the things that you say. But people are
Speaker 1: so bold as to like comment on your stuff. That's
Speaker 1: interesting when people respond to you and like d M
Speaker 1: s and say ship or like comment on your stuff,
Speaker 1: and then when you're like, hey, that's like a really weird,
Speaker 1: mean thing to say, and the backpedal and they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I just never thought you'd read it.
Speaker 1: It's like commented on. So it's like negative attention seeking behavior.
Speaker 1: And that's like I think it's own like illness of
Speaker 1: social media that people need to be like doing some
Speaker 1: work on themselves to make sure they're not doing because
Speaker 1: a lot of people do it and I used to
Speaker 1: do it. I used to and that's the growth of
Speaker 1: it all. Is like the growth of it all is
Speaker 1: that when I first got Twitter in like two thousand
Speaker 1: nine or two thousand ten maybe when, but it was
Speaker 1: it would have been when I discovered Grimes. I used
Speaker 1: to tweet at her that I was doing this running
Speaker 1: joke where I would tweet at her every day and
Speaker 1: be like, reply to me, I need your reply, Please
Speaker 1: reply to me, and like say be really random, say
Speaker 1: really random, like fucked up stuff to her, like sexual stuff.
Speaker 1: And the implicit thing is that you're like, she would
Speaker 1: never see this, but the fact, but that's not necessarily
Speaker 1: and you're doing it as a big And now people
Speaker 1: do ship like that to me, where they'll reply to
Speaker 1: everything that I'm doing and I'm like, I see it,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, oh, this feels like you know
Speaker 1: this person, I don't they want me to see it,
Speaker 1: but it's like, what reaction do they think they're going
Speaker 1: to have. I mean, now I think Grimes is like
Speaker 1: pure trash. Um. I say all that, and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: she's liquid trash. Um. No, I don't like her. I
Speaker 1: don't like what she's choosing, the life that she's choosing now.
Speaker 1: And I hope, you know, I hope everything. I hope
Speaker 1: she comes out of whatever this this phase of her
Speaker 1: life and thinks about what she's done. Um. But um. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm just not going to put energy into that. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep my amazing tomato soup from California
Speaker 1: Chicken Cafe, which does look good. I would feel stupid
Speaker 1: if I was one of those people that was like like,
Speaker 1: now as I become more successful, it's like, how fucking
Speaker 1: dare they drag me? When it's like, you know, like
Speaker 1: you've done it, Like the real the thing that will
Speaker 1: make you straight, the thing that will make you fucking straight,
Speaker 1: is when you have to start applying that level of
Speaker 1: empathy to every person in the world and in your life.
Speaker 1: And only then I'll be when you think about who
Speaker 1: when you decide, when you decide to have, when you
Speaker 1: decide to turn that little valve on, and who you
Speaker 1: don't give that empathy to just because you're being like no,
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, I bet there's other people who
Speaker 1: deserve that same empathy that you need to take that
Speaker 1: skeleton of your logic and then like kind of put
Speaker 1: it on their situation too. And you know, I don't
Speaker 1: think a lot of people want to do that, And
Speaker 1: I think that's okay. You know, I think people are
Speaker 1: in a in a tough mental spot right now I'm
Speaker 1: that way too. I think the place that I'm in
Speaker 1: right now really hard mentally, is that I loved a
Speaker 1: big part of joy that I got a big place
Speaker 1: of joy in my life was making fun of bad stuff,
Speaker 1: making fun of movies and TV shows that I thought
Speaker 1: were bad. Um, because that stuff gets crammed down your throat,
Speaker 1: especially like really high budget stuff that's bad. It's like,
Speaker 1: now we're in this like culture vacuum where it's like
Speaker 1: you can't. It's like everything has to be positive, like
Speaker 1: you can't. It's like let people enjoy the things they
Speaker 1: want to enjoy or whatever. And I'm like, well, this
Speaker 1: is like a corporate like advertising machine and I'm not
Speaker 1: allowed to have like a criticism of it. It's just
Speaker 1: like and again, you are allowed to have a criticism
Speaker 1: of it. It's just like if you're willing to deal
Speaker 1: with the pushback or not. But I will say that
Speaker 1: I felt, you know, unable to talk shit about stuff
Speaker 1: in the way that I, like I thought was fun
Speaker 1: too before because yeah, because of like my career and
Speaker 1: like now I've met some of the people that are
Speaker 1: in movies that I used to make fun of and
Speaker 1: and worked on that you never know who produced you're
Speaker 1: working with, like a producer who has been working in
Speaker 1: TV for years and like also produced this thing that
Speaker 1: you think sucks, and so you have to be it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: now that I know that person, I don't want to
Speaker 1: hurt their feeling. Like I now that it's like it's
Speaker 1: not just being about like, oh I want to save
Speaker 1: my ass. It's like, oh, this person like put a
Speaker 1: lot of work into this thing that people really hate.
Speaker 1: I think they've kind of like you know, endured the
Speaker 1: brunt of it. Yeah, but I don't know. I just like, also,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna put energy into dictating how other people
Speaker 1: react to that ship because other people have a lot
Speaker 1: more anger detachment that they can gleefully, you know, slice
Speaker 1: someone up about um. But it does change. I think
Speaker 1: that your level of empathy changes, and I'm like, oh man,
Speaker 1: I think I kind of have to be nice about everything.
Speaker 1: Because the other night I was like drunk with my
Speaker 1: friend Hillary and we were watching He's All That, and
Speaker 1: I was making fun of it on Instagram stories, and
Speaker 1: I got a couple replies of people being like, why
Speaker 1: are you being so mean to Addison Ray? Like people
Speaker 1: who didn't follow me too which was like, oh God,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm not being mean to her. This
Speaker 1: movie just really sucks. Like this movie is really funny,
Speaker 1: and like that's what I'm think. I'm being very clear
Speaker 1: that I'm like, this is just a stupid array of
Speaker 1: decisions people have made that all culminate in this piece
Speaker 1: of like work that it's like so fucking funny, how
Speaker 1: stupid and awful it is. And that's like, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that the actors in it are bad or that
Speaker 1: they're bad people, but I think it does point out
Speaker 1: that there are a lot of people in the film
Speaker 1: industry who are pure corporate like business people who get
Speaker 1: to call creative shots on stuff, and unfortunately they have
Speaker 1: notes on stuff. And I wish those people's names were
Speaker 1: like on the front of the movie and there's kind
Speaker 1: of tact information so you could fucking let them feel
Speaker 1: like the ire of people when you don't like serve
Speaker 1: the community right or something like it's like, yeah, talk
Speaker 1: to the fucking like finance department or whatever, the business
Speaker 1: affairs department, who's like being like this character actually is
Speaker 1: like their sense of humor is not landing with us. Um,
Speaker 1: so we're actually going to make this character, Caitlyn Jenner,
Speaker 1: if that's okay, it's like yeah, and then the and
Speaker 1: then the people people online see that and they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Caitlyn Jenner. This is like but it's
Speaker 1: like the people who are like protecting or concerned about
Speaker 1: and at someone like Addison Ray, Let's say, like there's
Speaker 1: a weird like poisoning of the mind to be like
Speaker 1: what she doesn't need like your protector, Like she doesn't
Speaker 1: need you to protect her necessarily either, you know. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's it's weird. Well I think meanwhile,
Speaker 1: like people like people like people like us, like we
Speaker 1: like did not have We were not like now things
Speaker 1: are different, but we were not always supported by some
Speaker 1: like infrastructure in terms of like knowing like like we
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like we like I mean like
Speaker 1: between the three of us at least, like we really
Speaker 1: like had to like kind of like you know, like
Speaker 1: earn our way, earn our keep into like these places
Speaker 1: where at And that is that's a different emotional background
Speaker 1: versus like and this is not to like discount like
Speaker 1: what these people go, but like someone like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say someone like Addison, right, and I don't know what
Speaker 1: her struggle is necessarily, and she has some of course,
Speaker 1: but it's like this is a completely different like echelon
Speaker 1: of like fame or of like being like put forward
Speaker 1: as someone who like people will like that, Like there's
Speaker 1: a there's a I don't know, I think there's a
Speaker 1: there's a subtle there's there's a more nuanced way to
Speaker 1: be like not everything has to be like not everything
Speaker 1: gets to be important. Some things get to be stupid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that there is room for humor, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. The reason the reason I take,
Speaker 1: the reason I stop and want to do the thing
Speaker 1: about Christin Stewart is because I'm thinking about the things
Speaker 1: I've said her about her, and I think they might
Speaker 1: have been just like lazy and like whatever. Like if
Speaker 1: I went back throughout this entire podcast or my entire
Speaker 1: life online or whatever and like combed through everything I've
Speaker 1: said about celebrities, there's no use in doing that because
Speaker 1: like it's just silly, like because there should be you
Speaker 1: like that is like there is something to like combing
Speaker 1: through what we get fed in the entertainment industry and
Speaker 1: like like calling it out and like making jokes about it.
Speaker 1: Like make jokes. I just think I was watching the
Speaker 1: trailer for Spencer and I was like, oh, I've been
Speaker 1: like nasty about her, and I think it was like
Speaker 1: a lazy thing. And it's sort of a thing of
Speaker 1: like I think we all do it like, you know,
Speaker 1: like years ago, when we get on this podcast and
Speaker 1: like make comments about Ellen, it's probably because we thought, well,
Speaker 1: none of us will ever be actually on her show.
Speaker 1: We're never gonna actually have to meet her, so what
Speaker 1: then who cares if we drag Ellen? Then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, it's like you're in the green room and
Speaker 1: Ellen and she comes and knocks on the door and says, hey,
Speaker 1: just wanted to say hey before our big interview with
Speaker 1: no audience, and our teams have talked beforehand to make
Speaker 1: sure that there's a tease fire because of still like
Speaker 1: this is some silliness I've said on the podcast Lost
Speaker 1: Culture Resta, does you know what I mean. It's just
Speaker 1: like it's also surreal and funny that we're all even
Speaker 1: successful at all, because I I think about that all
Speaker 1: the time. I'm just like wow, like it's really like
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not looking at like you know, how
Speaker 1: my life has changed in the past five six years
Speaker 1: in the way you're the way both of your lives
Speaker 1: have changed in the past five six years, and like
Speaker 1: not not a little bit in awe of it, because
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, like I never thought anything. I just
Speaker 1: thought I would be like on the Brooklyn podcast forever,
Speaker 1: you know. And maybe that's why I felt the safety
Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, Ellen's dicky, I mean, but also
Speaker 1: ultimately it was funny, So I don't know, it's like
Speaker 1: an interesting thing to all of a sudden have to
Speaker 1: deal with that kind of thing, you know what I mean. Well,
Speaker 1: with all that said, it's gonna be time for boonen Yanks.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Bona you're ready figure out
Speaker 1: and think so honey, I'm ready, Okay, this is bones.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honest, time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey, sucking dick. Let's normalize licking balls. Licking
Speaker 1: balls to be the top of the list. It's easier
Speaker 1: on the mouth. It's you don't have to do all
Speaker 1: this crazy stuff. You don't have to like think of it.
Speaker 1: It's just easier mentally logistically to just like go for
Speaker 1: the balls first and then not even touch the damn shaft. Okay,
Speaker 1: I just want to I just want to work on
Speaker 1: the balls. I don't want to cartilage. I don't want
Speaker 1: to touch any cartilage in the penis at all. I
Speaker 1: just want to work with the scrotum. That's it, and
Speaker 1: that's all I have to say no, because you know what,
Speaker 1: balls actually feel more sanitary to me. There's not literal
Speaker 1: piss coming out of it. Why the hell would you
Speaker 1: put something with pete coming out of it in your mouth?
Speaker 1: You're gonna love it. No, I don't care. I think
Speaker 1: it's less funky. If it's the balls that p is sterile,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it. Clean freaksn't love it. That is
Speaker 1: fun vile. What you said balls are the worst. I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about. I don't want them in
Speaker 1: They smell. The only reason you go down on somebody
Speaker 1: like that is to make them come. And if you're
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to make them come with the balls,
Speaker 1: why are you gonna put them in your You don't
Speaker 1: know that. You don't know that you're not gonna be
Speaker 1: able to make them come with the balls? Ah? Yeah
Speaker 1: I do, Yeah, I do. I go up and down
Speaker 1: on the side like I'm eating corn and then that
Speaker 1: makes them but then that's a dick still in your mouth,
Speaker 1: stupid ass. I'm saying I would be open to that,
Speaker 1: but I just there's something about like I feel like,
Speaker 1: Damn Kirby, I don't like either. I like, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I'm sorry that makes me. I feel like
Speaker 1: I have nothing to offer if I don't like sucking
Speaker 1: dick that I'm like, wow, no, because I absolutely love
Speaker 1: eating ass. Period me too. I love eating ass. But
Speaker 1: then it sends a mixed signal because they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, I guess is he like, is he
Speaker 1: like getting me ready? Like I'm like, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I just like doing this, you know, as I feel
Speaker 1: like it's sucking I and I like, I like sucking dick.
Speaker 1: Pick me. I'm a pick me girl. I like dick um,
Speaker 1: but I think it's more work. And it depends like
Speaker 1: I don't like sucking a big dick. I don't like that,
Speaker 1: Like I don't I have a his, I have like
Speaker 1: a really small amount. And literally I remember when I was,
Speaker 1: when I was like thirteen, a dentist, which I wasn't
Speaker 1: sucking dick then, but this dentist problem was like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, your mouth is so small, and put her
Speaker 1: fingers in line now and tried to spread my mouth
Speaker 1: open wider so she could get like this like four
Speaker 1: step thing in and she split both my lips like
Speaker 1: because they were also really chapped, because I was always
Speaker 1: licking my lips trying to get people let me suck
Speaker 1: their dicks um, and they never did, and and that's good.
Speaker 1: They shouldn't. I wasn't in a mentally good place and
Speaker 1: I wasn't old enough. It sounds like it sounds like
Speaker 1: she was like a Jennifer Coolidge character, like oh my god,
Speaker 1: your mouth is so small. She was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it makes me a hot dog round classic. I wait, hirthday,
Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Happy birthday. Um No, I just think it's
Speaker 1: a lot of it's like my jaw hurts if it's
Speaker 1: like big, and then it's just like it's like if
Speaker 1: it's if you're trying to It's like there are guys
Speaker 1: that like like deeps, like going in deep, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't think that feels good. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: like not like it's not like nice and soft back there.
Speaker 1: It's all like weird and like it's like I think
Speaker 1: it's just for those the action of like you choking, right,
Speaker 1: they want to see you tear up a bit, which
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, honey, I can't really break down the
Speaker 1: psychology of like two gay men, like the man who's
Speaker 1: getting head, the gay man who is getting head from
Speaker 1: another man, what psychologically is happening there versus a like
Speaker 1: a straight or like queer guy who is getting head
Speaker 1: from a trans woman. Like I think there might be
Speaker 1: a different psychology of like, but I don't know it's
Speaker 1: all porn. I think it's probably all Any mistreatment you
Speaker 1: get sexually is probably stemmed in something they saw in
Speaker 1: a video. Had a guy. I had a guy um
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago who had a giant dick
Speaker 1: who I like literally pulled it. I was like going
Speaker 1: down on him, and I pulled out for a second
Speaker 1: to like get hair out of my mouth because my
Speaker 1: I was like sucking my own hair into my throat,
Speaker 1: and so I like stopped for a second and turned
Speaker 1: to like get my hair out of my face. And
Speaker 1: when I turned back, he had like bent his dick
Speaker 1: like back, and he like like slingshot and like he
Speaker 1: like held it back and then he like smacked me
Speaker 1: in the face with it. Oh yeah, like he like
Speaker 1: bent it back like like and smacked me in the
Speaker 1: fit like on my face with his dick. And I
Speaker 1: was like, why did you do that? And he was
Speaker 1: like I wanted to be rough and I thought that
Speaker 1: you would. I don't know if he thought I don't
Speaker 1: like that. But it wasn't like, it wasn't sexual trauma.
Speaker 1: I wasn't afraid he was. It was just any But
Speaker 1: I was like, you just like doi oiling. Yeah, Looney
Speaker 1: tuned me fucking to Marvin the Martian like that was
Speaker 1: actually like Yoda, but how is truck? But if I
Speaker 1: did another man Maran, I wrote to the Caitlyn Jenners
Speaker 1: for Governor of California, and I think that we need
Speaker 1: a big Traine in this big state. My Caitlyn general
Speaker 1: is Lauren Michaels. And that's just why I am going
Speaker 1: to have to accept and I leave it. Lauren general
Speaker 1: impression is a Lord Michaels impression. Come back here with
Speaker 1: my show. What is the let's Lauren from TV fund
Speaker 1: from the TV fun House. Yeah, We're back my show.
Speaker 1: It's time, It's wine, money or nine. You didn't know
Speaker 1: the West corn Rance rates online. Go to the general
Speaker 1: Stafjong time it's time for the best car insurance rates
Speaker 1: in town. To the general. Wait, what is it for
Speaker 1: the West corridorans rates in town? Patty call one night
Speaker 1: hundred general. No, it's time for I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: now Patty Harrison's I don't think so honey. Hard times
Speaker 1: starts now. Are you get okay? Stop? Are you ready? Okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is Patty Harrisons. I don't think so on ether
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so honey. M hmm.
Speaker 1: And when people are when people are mad that you
Speaker 1: didn't get back to them in time, um, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fucking that ship piss me off, you know why, bitch.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I cussed so much. I lean on it
Speaker 1: too much. I lean on custing so much. I won't
Speaker 1: cust time starting over now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who get mad at you when you don't get
Speaker 1: back to them in time? Now, I'm that want one second? No, No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. How much time I have left? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back at one starting out. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who get mad at you when you don't get
Speaker 1: back to them sometimes I know. No, No, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. People who get mad at you when
Speaker 1: you don't get back to them in time. It's like
Speaker 1: sometimes I want to get back. No, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think, honey. And that's that was really good
Speaker 1: giving a chance. I wasn't even giving a chance. Sometimes
Speaker 1: people don't even know. You're just getting busy during the day,
Speaker 1: you know, and you have time to get back to them.
Speaker 1: Yet well, you didn't even know we're adding to here.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's nod, she's she's frowning, she's she's
Speaker 1: what if that's how you find out I have botox?
Speaker 1: Is that you accept me? I have boats? I gets
Speaker 1: the secret? So wow, this has been incredible in it
Speaker 1: was Yeah, I feel like I rambled a lot. No, No,
Speaker 1: that's what people were hanging and hang on every word. Okay,
Speaker 1: I had fun talking to you, but I hope I
Speaker 1: didn't over I feel like, no, don't do since you've
Speaker 1: been don't do this. I think I did the Innett
Speaker 1: bending thing. I drew out the impression to know that
Speaker 1: was the bit was that we were waiting for it.
Speaker 1: It was incredible. It was perfect, And then I talked
Speaker 1: about Alan. I didn't even get into what she really
Speaker 1: did to me. Well, we'll say that for another episode.
Speaker 1: I didn't even get to do what I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: no that Patty, I didn't even get to do. I
Speaker 1: think this was I think this was a really one
Speaker 1: of the best episodes. Did imagine? I tell you that
Speaker 1: one Bowen when we were in Dominican Republic and we
Speaker 1: went swimming really late one night. It was like one
Speaker 1: am after we wrapped and Bowen like we're literally sitting there,
Speaker 1: We're talking about, like what shows we were watching. I
Speaker 1: don't know where. Bowen just turns me and he goes,
Speaker 1: you know, even if I were straight, I would never
Speaker 1: hook up with you because you're you're you lost too
Speaker 1: much weight too fast, and it made your skin on
Speaker 1: your body. You're kind of that skinny fat situation. He
Speaker 1: said that he has a thing, he has a thing
Speaker 1: with people that are skinney fat. He's he thinks that
Speaker 1: he thinks it's a compliment. He says it like a
Speaker 1: backhand and compliment. Meanwhile, it sounds like he was just
Speaker 1: aggressive to you. He said, I don't want to suck
Speaker 1: you because you're skinny fat. It was. It wasn't. Unprompted,
Speaker 1: she posed a question to me. She said, Bowen, if
Speaker 1: you were straight, what would be the first thing you did?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know what the first
Speaker 1: thing I would do would be, but I know what
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do, which is with you, because I have
Speaker 1: a thing with skinny fat. What is the in seed?
Speaker 1: I really hate that because people will be able to
Speaker 1: like corroborate or whatever the stories because I do ask
Speaker 1: that question to a lot of guys. I'm trying to turn,
Speaker 1: asked me, asked me. I'm one of the I'm one
Speaker 1: of the gayest guys. Try to turn me right now
Speaker 1: before we go, Matt, if if you had if you
Speaker 1: had me for two hours alone, and I couldn't say no,
Speaker 1: she can't say no, that's getting weird. The first thing
Speaker 1: I would do is I would order chicken palm to
Speaker 1: the house. I would watch you eat it, and you
Speaker 1: would get so I'm not eating, I ate before all
Speaker 1: of it. I want you to eat every bite and
Speaker 1: the penney that comes on the side. When you're really full. Listen,
Speaker 1: when you're really full, I'm gonna have you run around
Speaker 1: the house out of high speed, and I'm we're gonna
Speaker 1: wait forty five minutes to the point where probably have
Speaker 1: to use the bathroom. At that point, yes, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take you in the bedroom. I make you put on chains,
Speaker 1: chain you to the four post bed, and then I
Speaker 1: have sex with every one of your full holes. I
Speaker 1: only have four your mouth first, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: so full, really tired. You know I can't run for
Speaker 1: more than about a half hour. Yeah, well you're going
Speaker 1: to be so tired and full and I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: let your ship either. I want you to be chock
Speaker 1: full of palm when I fuck you. We always end
Speaker 1: every episode with the song happy Harmonize. We had to
Speaker 1: harmonize Wait, yeah, I just assume that would take the
Speaker 1: ha be to Hi me but you Hi. Here we go,
Speaker 1: horse not in and the whole you can ever sing
Speaker 1: de jen a books Hi you all right? Bye bye guys.
Speaker 1: M