1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: I just found out who my biological father is after 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: thirty years. I want to meet him, but my mom 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 1: keeps getting in the way. Out the way, Get out 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: of the way. So I'm thirty four. Until last year, 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: I thought my father was one person. I've been no 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: contact with him for six years for various reasons that 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: are mostly irrelevant. I'll skip over that. But a few 8 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: weeks ago, in passing, I mentioned that I wanted to 9 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: do twenty three and meters to my mother. At that point, 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: I just wanted to see the breakdown of where my 11 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: ancestors lived. No ever slated anyone famous that sort of thing. 12 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: She got immediately defensive and said, why would you want 13 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: to do that? You know where you came from. Also, 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: this comes from Dbates of nineteen ninety on the r 15 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: slash okay story time subreddit. So after that moment, I 16 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: was suspicious. I'd heard the story of how my mom 17 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: was dating my non biological dad, then broke up with 18 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: him and went back to her first husband. My biological 19 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: dad then showed up on my non biological dad's doorstep 20 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: telling him she was pregnant with his child. Apparently no 21 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: one ever quested that, and he just accept it so 22 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: over the years, I've had many issues with my mom. 23 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: I've heard early memories of her stopping by another man's 24 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: house to cheat my non biological dad when they were married. Well, 25 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: I played with his daughter. Sometimes she wasn't there and 26 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: it'd be told to watch a movie in her room. No, 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 1: not the movie in her room. 28 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 2: Dad is traumatizing. 29 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess you wouldn't know at the time. 30 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder how Opie's relationship in that daughter's relationship 31 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: is too, like they trauma. 32 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: Bonded also TLDR, Oh. 33 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 2: Yes, do you think they trauma bonded over that? 34 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: I think they're too young to even know what's going on. 35 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: But at nine years old, she tried to have me 36 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 1: institutionalized while my non biological dad was at work because 37 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: she was tired of raising an autistic son. My non 38 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: biological dad and his mother are the only reason I 39 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: wasn't institutionalized. She had lied and said I assaulted my 40 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: grandmother and aunt. I was pumped full of rugs and 41 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: I believe that permanently altered by brain chemistry. It didn't work. 42 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: She divorced my non biological dad and quickly remarried to 43 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: a truck driver and was gone twenty six days of 44 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: every month until I was almost an adult, twenty six days. 45 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: Terrible mother, my mom my non biological dad remarried, and 46 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: my step mother hated me from the start, so I 47 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: couldn't live with them. I ended up living with my 48 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: non biological mother's basement and being homeschooled quote unquote. They 49 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: didn't actually do anything, so I have a fifth grade 50 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: education on paper. Oh geez goe. 51 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 2: So she's freaky and a bad mother. 52 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, crazy combo, crazy combo. My non biological dad's 53 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: mom eventually cracked on the pressure of raising a teenager 54 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: and being so sick and checked herself into a mental facility, 55 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: then took off with my aunt. At that point, I 56 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: was fifteen. Oh my gosh, op has had a life. 57 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 2: You deserve a royal flush soon. 58 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, I'm going to say an NBD from now 59 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: on for nine non biological dad. From that point on, 60 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: I bounce back and forth between nbds and my mother, 61 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: not getting along with either of their spouses. Eventually, at seventeen, 62 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: my older friend got a job and rented me a 63 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: room in his house for one hundred and fifty a month. 64 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: Not a bad deal at twenty one, I left that 65 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: family behind, moved out of state, met my partner. We're 66 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: still together. We're both a neuro divergent, so we understand 67 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: each other on a deeper level than anyone I'm related to. 68 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,679 Speaker 1: Over the last two years, I've watched my mom's side 69 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 1: of the family fall apart. I've always adored my aunt 70 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: and uncle, which my mother has been jealous of my 71 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: whole life. They're just great people who know how to 72 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: have a good time. My maternal grandparents both passed away 73 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: in the last few years and it became all out war. 74 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: My mother has attorneys on retainer waiting for her moment 75 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: to attack. She did everything in her power to screw 76 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: her brother and sister in court, and when she couldn't 77 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: get her way through court, she's now trying to get 78 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: my aunt kicked out of her house by calling her 79 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: landlord with blackmail. Oh my gosh, that mom just gets 80 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: worse and worse. Yeah, Jellyba says, the hits keep oh 81 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: up and dang straight they do. 82 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: She keeps swinging too. 83 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: Since then, my mother's been trying to appear to be 84 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: the good guy. She's offered to help me with debt 85 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: and pay for a trip to meet my biological dad, 86 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: which I thought was just her trying to be nice 87 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: after being so horrible. She initially told me i'd get 88 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: half of whatever she got from the sale of my grandparents' house. 89 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: Then she wanted to buy me a car, which I 90 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: declined because I like my car. She just doesn't think 91 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: I should drive a subcompact. We started to plan the trip. 92 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,799 Speaker 1: She's upset that I want my partner there. She's telling 93 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: me how I need to act around them, how to dress, 94 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: wants me to shave my beard. I love my beard, 95 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: and so does my partner. She's treating me like I'm seven. 96 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: She's going to go down there and parade around like 97 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: she's been there for me through thick and thin. She's 98 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: lied to my biological dad about my financial success. She's 99 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: a very fake person who is all about appearances, and 100 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: she's going to try to push me to act fake. 101 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: That's yeah. And also John Is two hundred and one says, 102 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: don't take anything from the mom, like yeah, I mean, 103 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if you know she's going to use 104 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: that for she could use that as leverage. It gets 105 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: you to do things like yeah, I don't think it's 106 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 1: a good idea. 107 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 2: What exactly is she trying to get out of this relationship? Now? 108 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: I'm confused. So it's like it seems like the cats 109 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: out of the bag. OPI knows that the non biological 110 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: dad is non biological m hmm, and is I guess 111 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: the mom is trying to help OP see the biological dad. 112 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 1: But I feel like there's something that's going to be 113 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: on the back end that's going to be a little bit, 114 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: a little bit bad. 115 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a credit cards or something are 116 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 2: going to come up as such. I don't know. 117 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, there's there's something. There's something spooky going on here. 118 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: So another thing is she's made a huge deal of 119 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: him being an alcoholic and told me that he's been 120 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 1: sober for years and continues to make a big deal 121 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: out of that. Meanwhile, every time I talk to him, 122 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 1: he's telling me about his favorite tequilas and beers, and 123 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: even asked me about prices on certain liquors he has 124 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: to order because they aren't available in his town. So 125 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: like the mom's lying about everything. My aunt and uncle 126 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: say that he liked to drink but never seemed out 127 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: of control. My theory on this is my mom used 128 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: alcoholism as an excuse to leave him, played up his 129 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: drinking to my grandparents so they would approve of her divorce. 130 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: They were old fashioned, didn't believe in divorce without good reason. 131 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: That checks because she's the kind of person that needs 132 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 1: to create an excuse for anything, and will go above 133 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: and beyond to maintain a lie until the point she's 134 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: grasping at straws. I told her that I wanted to 135 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: meet him alone the first time, and she scoffed at me, 136 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: saying that she really wants to be there. I don't 137 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: get why she would even want to be there. It's like, hey, 138 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: here's the sun I lied about for thirty four years. Sorry, 139 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: you guys missed out on all those years with him. 140 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 2: I think she wants to be there so she can 141 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 2: put a narrative on the situation. 142 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems to be able to control it. She 143 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: just wants the clout. She just wants the clout. I 144 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,239 Speaker 1: feel a sense of urgency when it comes to meeting 145 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: that side of my family. My grandmother on that side 146 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: is still alive at ninety seven years old. I want him, 147 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 1: she should get to meet her grandson. I just don't 148 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: know what to do here. If I had the money, 149 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,799 Speaker 1: I just tell my mom to not worry about it, because, 150 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: like basically, the mom is the only way that she's 151 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: gonna be able to see the biological father. I got 152 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: only one thing from my grandparents when they passed, and 153 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: that's a German rifle pre World War Two. My grandfather 154 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: always insisted it was very valuable and willed it to me. 155 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: My mother tried to hide that will, and when my 156 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: uncle showed it to me, she insisted it wasn't valid, 157 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: then tried to tell me I couldn't have guns because 158 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: I'm autistic. I went no contact with her until I 159 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: had it in my possession. I don't necessarily want to 160 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: sell it. It probably wouldn't even be easy to find 161 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: a buyer, but I'm tempted to pawn it and tell 162 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: my mom I'll float my own trip and not to 163 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: worry about it. My family will be very upset, but 164 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: I don't see another way, and as long as I 165 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: pay the palm bill, I'll get it back eventually. So 166 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: how should I handle this? There's a part of me 167 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: that just wants to man up and tell her and 168 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: have her day of lives with them and eventually set 169 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: the record straight over time. Another part of my worries 170 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: is that she's just going to ruin the whole thing. 171 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: But don't ruin our thing by just joining our live 172 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: every weekday three mpsd's taber profile. I want my partner 173 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: there for this. We've been together for thirteen years. I 174 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: spent more time with her than anyone I'm related to. 175 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: She's always been there for me. She's my better half, 176 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: and that's who I want them to meet and associate 177 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: with me, not my crazy mother. Yeah, you want to 178 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: make a good impression on your biological family that you're 179 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: meeting for the first time. But if I don't accept 180 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: my mother's offer, I may not make it down in 181 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: time to meet my grandmother. She had a health scare 182 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: recently and that has ReLit the fire under my bum 183 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: to make it happen. 184 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 2: So you can't meet the dad without having the mom, 185 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 2: and you don't want the mom there, how do you 186 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 2: get in contact with the dad? 187 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: So my maternal grandparents both passed away. My mother had 188 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: attorneys on retainer waiting for that moment. She basically got everything, 189 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: took it from her brother and sister. She's been trying 190 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: to be nice, basically by offering to pay the debt 191 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: and pay for a trip to meet the biological dad. 192 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: And she also said she'd give like half of whatever 193 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: she got with the grandparents say of the house. So 194 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: it seems like she's trying to help as much as 195 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:09,199 Speaker 1: she can in meeting the biological dad and the paternal 196 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: grandparents and also try like it seems like she's trying 197 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: to make up for all of the shitty she's done. Yeah, 198 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: I mean, should we let her or is it just 199 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: like is it too late? Is it too Is it 200 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: too late? Also? Is it real like I'm worried that 201 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: the mom is going to use all of this stuff 202 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: as leverage. Dune's bro Broello twenty ten says, loan like 203 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: a short term one. Don't tell the mom anyone anything. 204 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: Maybe the dad can help, can the biodad help, can 205 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 1: opie pawn something else? I mean the pawn shop stuff. 206 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: I feel like those are pretty pretty messed up systems. 207 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: I don't know if you'll be able to get it back. 208 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: Chris tim Foyle hat says she's a liar the mom 209 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: so can even trust anything? She says, I think I 210 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: would put distance between the mom. Definitely, don't put yourself 211 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: in a situation where you're going to be depending on 212 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: her for travel. Yeah, maybe reach out to the biological 213 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: dad and see if there's any help that he can 214 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 1: have in you going out there. I understand wanting to 215 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: pawn something off, but I wouldn't expect you to get 216 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: back the thing you pot off. But because like the 217 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: whole the whole thing with pawnshops is they get your 218 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 1: when people don't pay. 219 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: You know, do you think that the like aunt or 220 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 2: uncle could help out in some way? 221 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: Maybe I would ask everyone other than the mom. Yeah, 222 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: Jonica says, I wouldn't trust her. Was something so important 223 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: she has to work up to it. Yeah, exactly. It's 224 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: gone from like zero to one hundred way too quick, 225 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: way too quick. Irish Gig says the biodad has probably 226 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: been paying her money for the sun. Oh oh, probably potentially, 227 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: although I thought it's well, maybe is the eighteen yet 228 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: well you mean op? Yeah? Op? Yeah, OHP he's older, Okay, okay, 229 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: ohp he's like thirty Oh he's in thirty four? Yeah yeah, 230 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: the biological dad, well, I don't know the biological dad 231 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: was paying because OP just found out that their non 232 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: biological dad is not their biological dad. So the non 233 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 1: biological dad was probably paying, the biological dad was not. 234 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: I don't think, and Op just figured this out. So 235 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: I don't think the biological dad was actually paying anything. 236 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: Who my understanding, but let me know if you think. 237 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: Kimberly find says the very best possible outcome of accepting 238 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: her funding the trip is that it goes decent, but 239 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:27,439 Speaker 1: she holds it over your head for eternity. Yeah, I 240 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: would talk to the biological dad because, like the biological 241 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: dad probably wants to meet you too and might be 242 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: a better solution than leaning on your mom. But that 243 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: for that story ends and where this episode ends. Yeah, 244 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: so if you love us, make sure to subscribe. 245 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 2: We Love You and see it tomorrow. 246 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. 247 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 3: Time for okop Relam. 248 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: Did I f up by hook it up with a 249 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: girl in a mental hospital? 250 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 3: That sounds like a potentially carryous situation honestly a crazy situation. 251 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, so this's now been a while ago. I seventeen male. 252 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: Remember the exact day I was admitted to the psych ward. 253 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: It was the day after New Year's great to start 254 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: the year. Yeah, I won't mention how I ended up 255 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: in a mental hospital, but I will hint that it 256 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: involves some illicit substances. 257 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 3: Oh. 258 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: Also, just you guys know, a psych ward isn't what 259 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: it's like in the movies. It's actually rather chill, and 260 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: I personally found it to be a good place to 261 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: express myself and be a better person than I was beforehand. 262 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 3: I mean that's great to hear. Actually, yeah. 263 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: I always thought like, whenever you think of psych word, 264 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: I think that like like like spooky. 265 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, like almost like like in the movies where 266 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 3: they have like, uh, like it like the jail where 267 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 3: it's like the psych word of a jail. 268 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it's like like people in straight jacket. Yes, yes, yeah, 269 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: it sounds like or it's like like. 270 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 3: Horror like I think of like horror movies. 271 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyways, after about two days of being there and 272 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: surprisely making a lot of mentally ill friends, I mean 273 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: a girl sixteen, let's call her Ashley, going into the 274 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: psych ward. Ashley was the first person to catch my eye. 275 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: She was extremely attractive and very friendly. After getting to 276 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: talk to her, we would talk every day constantly, and 277 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: I ended up asking her for her Instagram on both 278 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: of our last days in the psych ward okay yims well, 279 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 1: waiting for our rides. I remember Ashley asking straight up, 280 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: do you want to kiss? 281 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:25,679 Speaker 3: Oh? 282 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: Okay yo? This this sounds like Perks of being a Wallflower, 283 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 1: like coming of age, angsty teenage story. Right here. 284 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: This is like a there's some indie music just playing. 285 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: Actually, this reminds me of the plot of Its kind 286 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: of a funny story. Have you ever heard of that? 287 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: It's not exactly the same, but it's a great great 288 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: It's like, if you like Perks of Being a Wallplower, 289 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,719 Speaker 1: you'll probably like that that movie. It's pretty good, or 290 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: at least I remember it being good when I watched it. 291 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: At first, I thought she was trolling, so I laughed 292 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: and told her to stop playing. She told me she 293 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: was serious. Oh god, well, adding a smirk to her face. 294 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 1: Ooht wink. I was still suspicious, so I told her 295 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: you lean in first. She did, so I decided to 296 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: as well, and to my surprise, we ended up smooching. Oh, 297 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 1: it's kind of cute. It's pretty cute. The first kiss 298 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: was short and more of a then we kissed again, 299 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 1: and then again, and then it turned into a full 300 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: arm makeout. 301 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 3: Sesshon, aren't they like in front of the pickup area where. 302 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: Their parents are Yeah, exactly funny. Keep in mind we 303 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: are still in the psych ward, just in an area 304 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: where there are no cameras or nurses watching. Yeah. After 305 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: a few minutes of kissing, I heard my name being 306 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: yelled by one of the nurses, saying my mom was here. 307 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: So I awkwardly wave her goodbye and skip to my 308 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 1: freedom while saying goodbye to my other mentally ill friends. 309 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 1: I love that my mommy. So I'm out of the 310 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: psych ward. I feel good. Everything is good. But I 311 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: ended up forgetting Ashley's Instagram, so I didn't try to 312 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: bother and look her up. 313 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 3: Well a moment, wait, wait, wait, and give up. But nothing. 314 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 3: You're not gonna look up her name, not even try, Ashley. 315 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, look for mutuals. 316 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 3: Come on. 317 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: So a week pass, I'm in school when suddenly I 318 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: get a call from the office. My mom is here 319 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: to pick me up. I asked her why she came unannounced, 320 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: and she said she told me a detective had called 321 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: her and left her a voicemail telling me to come 322 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,800 Speaker 1: to the town name police department to talk about something 323 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: that happened at the mental hospital I was issued at. 324 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: Oh my, okay, I'm a little concerned. I don't know 325 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: what it was having. I get scared, obviously because I 326 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: have no clue why I need to see a detective. 327 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: We make it to the police station and I go 328 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: in and was greeted by the detective. He makes me 329 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: walk with him alone to a room where we both 330 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: sat down. I felt like it was in a Nam movie. 331 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: He has a few files on the table along with 332 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: the recorder. It's small. He says that I can leave 333 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: it any time and not answer any questions at well, 334 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: and then starts asking simple questions like why I was 335 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: in town, name hospital and what people and what people 336 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: did I see? So I'm thinking, maybe someone got murdered 337 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: and I'm the witness. I mean like probably, Yeah. 338 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 3: You're just like in this like this is a serious 339 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 3: interrogation scenario and you're just like, I have no idea why. Yeah, 340 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 3: that's crazy. 341 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 1: So I'm thinking maybe someone got murdered and I was 342 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: a witness. And then the detective drops the bomb, what 343 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: is it? I brought you in today because a lady 344 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: is saying you essayed her, you assaulted her. I genuinely 345 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: gasped aloud and got really defensive, which must have looked 346 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: really such. Yes, I said, who said? I essayed them? 347 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: I would never do that? What the heck? The active 348 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: pulls out this photo and it's a photo of Ashley. 349 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: He says if I know her? And I say yes, 350 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: then I tell him everything from what I knew. I 351 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: said that she gave me one hundred percent permission to 352 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: kiss her, and I didn't force myself onto her or 353 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: make her do anything. She was the one that asked 354 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: first and leaned in first. I thought to myself, how 355 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: could she do this to me? The first week I 356 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: get out of the psych ward and now I'm instantly 357 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: being accused of assaults, which is kind of rough. Bro, 358 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: we kind of know why, possibly why this is happening? 359 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: Do you know what? And he guesses, he gets out, 360 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: forgets her Instagram They share this moment. 361 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, like to me, this is like like this, 362 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 3: this his reddist story would be a great cover up 363 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 3: if he like like to get everyone on his side. 364 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Or but what what if 365 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 1: he is telling the truth? What do you think? What's 366 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 1: the reason? Then that's why I'm lost I don't know, 367 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: she has like hallucinations like let's keep going. The detective 368 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,679 Speaker 1: stops the recording and says, that's all for today. He 369 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: told me if I did do anything without consent, they 370 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 1: would find out trying to intimidate me, and then I 371 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 1: should confess. Now I shouldn't have said anything without a lawyer. 372 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: That was also my f up, which honestly, yeah, you've 373 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: always been a lawyer for a detective. 374 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 3: But seventeen year old kid, you're just like. 375 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, like, I don't know what do I do. The 376 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,400 Speaker 1: detective calls my mom privately and then we both leave. 377 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: My mom is angry to basically on my side. So 378 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 1: what happened after that? Absolutely nothing. The case was dropped, 379 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: I guess because I never got a call back from 380 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: the detective or from any cops. I also called the 381 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: department to ask about the case and they said that 382 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: it didn't exist. 383 00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 3: Is is he having a like disassociating for reality or something? 384 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: I do not know. I'm truly guessing I learned something today. 385 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: Don't kiss anyone in a mental hospital. They're there for 386 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: a reason to get better, not whatever the f that was. 387 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: I have a theory, go ahead, assuming that Opie's telling 388 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: the truth. 389 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 3: Uh huh. 390 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: I think they shared a beautiful moment, sounded super cute, 391 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: and she thought he was going to message her right right, 392 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: and he didn't. Yes, and so maybe she wanted to 393 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: enact revenge. 394 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, going down the rabbit. Yeah yeah, yes, yes, yes. 395 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: Yes, I think that's my theory. 396 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's either that or either he's 397 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 3: got a great cover up to get all of like 398 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 3: all of it on his side. 399 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: And he could show this to the detective. 400 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 3: Man, this is such a he said. She said, yeah, 401 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 3: scenario right here, Yeah, away from all the ca Like 402 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 3: I was like, we were this one spot away from 403 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 3: all the cameras and all of the nurses. Yeah, that's 404 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,680 Speaker 3: a little sus Yeah. I don't know what to make 405 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 3: of it because it's like two people coming back from 406 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 3: a mental he mental hospital, like I don't and they're 407 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,719 Speaker 3: both super young. Yeah sixteen, they're seventeen. 408 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,119 Speaker 1: Oh wait, this is actually so this is a comment 409 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,199 Speaker 1: from funk clab on the post. So they said I 410 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 1: worked in I worked in a psych hospital where the 411 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: nurses would collect a folder of handwritten patient stories. Basically, 412 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: when someone would meet their significant other in a psych board, 413 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 1: and then something horrific would happen. They would have that 414 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: patient right down the story in the binder. When they 415 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 1: saw someone who was clearly getting infatuated with another patient 416 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,440 Speaker 1: on the unit, they'd break out the binder. It was 417 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: about five inches thick, and they'd have the love birds 418 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: rows through it. Relationships that begin in mental institutions are 419 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 1: almost always doomed. Don't make the same mistake. 420 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, fools, that's a good yeah, that's a good perspective 421 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 3: to hear from someone who actually wore Wow, that's crazy. 422 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 3: They have a whole binder just full. That's a smart like, Hey, 423 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 3: do you want to go down this road? Here's where 424 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 3: here it is. 425 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: We want to know what you think, so put it 426 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 1: in the comments. Who do you agree with? Who do 427 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: you not agree with? Who's the a whole? Who's not 428 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,399 Speaker 1: the a whole?