WEBVTT - How to Giggle with Hannah Berner + Paige DeSorbo 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:06.160 Hello, Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, Hi, how are you? 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.440 I'm so great. 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:08.400 I'm so great. 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:11.080 I'm here my last day of Whistler. I'm leaving. 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.000 Doug is staying for another week because he loves it 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:18.479 up here so much, My little lion bear fucking love Doug. 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:20.880 Is he coming with you or are you going back 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:21.360 there again? 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:24.200 I'm going to come back and get him in a week. Yes, 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:25.840 I'm going to come back and get him in a week. 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:27.760 I do want to make announcement. I'm a European tour. 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:31.040 We had to cancel Dublin unfortunately because something came up 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.760 that I can't that I can't rearrange. So I start 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:37.040 out in Rekuvic and all the other cities I'm still 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:39.680 coming to. I think that starts May eleventh, so I'm 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:41.880 not coming to Dublin, but I will be in Belfast 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:49.280 and Paris and Brussels, Amsterdam, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, Zurich, Vienna, Berlin, 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:52.560 Barcelona and Lisbon. And most of the shows are almost 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:54.640 sold out, so if you haven't gotten your tickets, to 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.120 get them now. And I don't think I'll be adding 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:00.800 second shows on this tour because my schedule is so crazy. 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:02.560 So we were talking about it, but I'm not. I 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.160 don't think I'm going to do it for my sanity. 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:07.520 That's what you learn when you get older. And then 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.640 of course there's Vegas, you guys, my next I'm going 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:12.840 to be in Vegas next weekend April eighteenth, and then 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.360 July fifth is my next Vegas date, so get your 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:18.839 tickets for that. And I have summer dates all all 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:20.479 through I mean all throughout the year. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:22.039 I'll be in Vegas once a month. 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:22.720 Awesome. 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:24.760 Yeah, you'll be there in the heat of the summer. 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:26.520 I know, I know. I can't believe it. 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.520 And I hope everyone is checking out my stand up 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:32.240 special The Feeling on Netflix. Thank you for all your 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.880 messages about it. Thank you for all your messages about 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:36.880 my book that I still get coming in all the time. 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:40.920 I love that. Yeah, it's all great, It's all great, wonderful. 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:42.440 That's great. Life is great. 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:45.440 I started mountain biking and Whistler because the seasons are changing. 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:47.720 I brought my e bike up here. So I am 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:49.640 becoming a full blown lesbian. 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:50.280 Oh. 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.600 Our guests today are the hosts of the Gigly Squad, 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.280 which is a very popular podcast and they have a 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.480 new book out called How to Giggle. So please welcome 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:03.120 Hannah Berner at page Oh hi girls, Hi Giggly swad Girls. 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:05.960 Paige of Soorbo and Hannah Berner. Look who we have 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:09.280 in studio today. Actually, we're not in studio. No one 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:11.760 is in the same place. You too, aren't even in 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:13.880 the same place. Have you guys thought about moving in together? 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:17.440 Yet? We don't spend any time together. This is strictly business. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:22.160 It's a very transactional relationship. Yes, yeah, okay, I understand. 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.920 We say that we're in a non sexual marriage. Like 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.680 most of America. 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:32.320 I yeah, most yes, most married people are not having said, well, 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:34.600 Hannah's married. I find one of the most surprising things 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:37.280 about you, Hannah is that you're married. And I kind 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:38.200 of object to it. 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:39.320 Chelsea. 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.040 It's so embarrassing, and I feel like, I feel like 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:43.799 we'd be better friends if I wasn't married. 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:46.440 It's I think you would have a lot more friends 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.600 if you weren't married. I feel like it's like when 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.920 I had a friend recently who got pregnant unexpectedly and 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:56.640 I was like, so sorry, Yeah, I was like, you can't, 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.240 you can't are you are you going to keep it? 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:01.760 And she's like, I've been thinking about him. I definitely don't, 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:03.720 you know, like, look at the world. It's a disaster. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.440 What are you gonna do with that baby? And then 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:12.440 she did decide to keep me, and you're like, hey, 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.200 and all of the other part of this trend group 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.160 we were having dinner and I was like, is anyone 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.200 else kind of bummed about this baby? 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:23.519 And both of the women who are. 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:25.800 Mothers were like, yeah, we're disappointed that she's having a 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:29.040 baby too, Like we are all in concert. Everyone is 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:31.160 in agreement except the woman having the baby. 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:34.640 Well, it's true, it changes friend dynamics. Paige has this 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:37.280 thing where she's like, you can't have a baby until 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:38.160 I have a baby. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.160 Yeah, that's where I'm drawing the line. 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:43.000 Yeah, but she's newly single, so I'm like, okay, Well, 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.320 like my husband's old, so he's running out of time. 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.760 Yeah, your husband is just like this like ghost like figure, 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:50.920 where is this person? 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.200 I actually wanted him to say hi, but then I 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:53.840 shoot him out. 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.560 Yeah, I want to ever see him. I don't ever 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:56.200 want to see him. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:56.880 It's better own. 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:00.600 When Hannah got married, she literally didn't post a single 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:04.240 picture of her husband. It was just pictures of Hannah 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:05.760 in her wedding dress. 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.600 But you know what, Chelsea, we did reality TV for 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:12.400 a second and he was on it for like a second, 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:14.880 and it's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:16.680 in my life. And I just don't want to subject 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:18.640 anyone I love to my shit, do you know what 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:19.000 I mean? 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:20.080 That's nice? 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:22.120 And I don't want to be subjected to him either, 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:23.440 quite frankly, you know what I mean. 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.120 I want more of you and less of him. I 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:29.479 think there's a comic Erica Rhodes. She just posted something like, 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.600 you know your friend's in a good relationship when you 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.600 barely know her your her husband's name. Yeah, you know 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.960 your friend who's always talking about the guy You're like, 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:39.440 I think you're gonna murder him at this point. 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:45.320 Yeah, no, I've met Dez four times. It's also good. 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:48.880 It's also good to be low key married because you're 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:52.040 not really dealing with that aspect of things on top 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:55.000 of your career. You're not also going out with, like, 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:58.279 you know, having like turbulent relationships, which is what would 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.520 be happening anyway, you know, and downs. That's the one 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.360 pro so that's a good thing about being married is 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:05.200 you don't have to date. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:09.280 It's less bad than having a kid. Literally, Chelsea, I 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.760 don't have to worry about the other dating apps and 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:14.479 what do I text this guy emoji or no emoji? 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.120 Because you know I was in the weeds with that 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:16.720 back in then. 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:18.520 I know, I'm sure you are you guys. I read 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.240 your book. I read your book. The girls have a 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.920 new book. First of all, you know them from the 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.640 Giggly Squad. They have a new book called how to Giggle, 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:29.440 which is them talking about their high levels of stupidity, 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:33.279 also in concert with all of the things that have 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:37.080 made them successful thus far, which is like one chapter 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:40.240 is called how to be Zululu, which is short for 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:41.760 which generation are you? 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.120 Guys? You guys are gen z No? No, no, no, 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:45.880 we're millennials. You're millennials. 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:50.040 Okay, so hard for millennials, you guys, I don't know 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:51.039 what generation is? 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.800 What I don't know what generation I am either. 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.280 Millennials like a slur, now, I know, I know it's 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.279 not It's not a compliment, So that's why I was 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:01.880 trying to avoid saying it. But Delulu for all of 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.159 those who don't know what that means is delusional. But 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:08.880 I love that chapter because it is really fucking true. So, Paige, 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:12.960 why don't you you tell me about your delusion and 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.039 how it got you to be successful? 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:16.919 No, I really think that. 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:20.840 I I'm drinking a course light by the way, sorry. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.160 As you should. As you should. 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.359 I think that when I started on social media, I 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.839 wasn't nervous to start because I truly was delusional, Like 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:32.000 I was too dumb right to think of like people 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:32.720 judging me. 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:34.560 It never crossed my mind. 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.440 Yeah, So like when Instagram came out and it was 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:39.960 like you have to have a following to get anywhere 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.039 in life, I was like, oh, well, I have to 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.479 try and get a following. So when I would put 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:48.680 like Instagram videos out, I wouldn't even think of haters, 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:51.120 Like it wasn't even on my mind at that time 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:53.920 because I was just delusional, Like I didn't think anyone 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.960 would dislike me until I went on reality TV and 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:58.960 then I was like, oh, okay. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:00.760 Again, yeah you can be just like on a nice, 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:04.039 big level. So you met on Summer YouTube, met on 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:04.760 Summer House. 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:08.960 We met like the year prior, but like very briefly. 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.640 But yeah, then we re met on Summer House and 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:13.560 became and best friends. 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.880 We were the two new girls, so like you walk 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:19.240 into an already established like friend group, and we were 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.559 so scared. Yeah, and like we've never shot reality TV before, 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:24.440 so we had this kind of trauma bond. But you 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:25.960 know when you look at another girl and you make 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.520 eye contact and you're like, oh, she's on the same 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:31.560 page as me, Like this is fucking crazy, And so 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:33.880 it really was a trauma bond that I think makes 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:35.200 people closest. 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:38.920 Yeah, I mean reality TV is pretty traumatizing for all 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:41.360 of the people who are subjected, for the people who 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:43.280 were on it, and then for them people who view it. 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.640 It's trauma all the way around. Yeah, it's a full 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:47.480 circle moment. 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:50.320 My favorite thing is when I meet people who like 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.400 watch whatever show we were on and they're like, you guys, 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:57.280 just like make me feel so good about my life 0:07:58.680 --> 0:07:59.280 on service. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.640 Paige and I we were reality TV fans. Like again, 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.520 like I would watch Fando Pump Rules when I had 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:06.360 a bad day and I was like, Okay, at least 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:07.960 like my best friend didn't punch me in the face 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.760 for sleeping with Jacks, Like that was how I went 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:11.440 to bed at night. 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:15.040 Yeah, I want to circle back to the delusion part 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.640 because you talk about it to Hannah in the chapter 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:20.320 they they h speak on everything in both Chaps and 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:24.120 and they both God, fuck this cores light is really 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:24.600 hitting me. 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:26.600 I was gonna say the book has made you dumber. 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:32.680 She's like, you, guys didn't form one full sentence in 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:33.160 that book. 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:35.120 No, but talk because I. 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.640 Love this idea and I think more people should subscribe 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:41.560 to him. You know, regardless of what medium you work in, Like, 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:45.200 it is really good just to be have your dreams 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.839 at the front and center of your mind and really 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.720 believe in yourself and have blind faith in yourself, because 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:52.760 if you don't believe in yourself, there's not going to 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:54.199 be anybody else who believes in yourself. 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:55.080 And that works. 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:57.120 It's like, yeah, you know, it's like faking it till 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:00.199 you're making it, but it really that also works. 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:03.200 I believe. You know, We've always been obsessed with seeing 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.240 like how people make it, and I realized, like the 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:08.920 first step is that person alone, somewhere has to decide 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.400 that they can do it. If you don't at least 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.679 decide you want to do it, you can never make it. 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:18.199 And it's been fascinating to see, Like the delusion is 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.360 like the fun part, but it's really just being brave 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.800 and it's just saying if you want to do something 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.640 like say it out loud and go for it, because 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:28.280 so many people will sit back and complain why something 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:29.720 didn't happen to them, and it's like, but you didn't 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:30.240 even try. 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.520 Yeah, And I think, like I think Hannah is very 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.960 much like that's the other part of our book, like 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.520 we are best friends. I wouldn't do half the things 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.600 I do if I didn't have Hannah, Like I would 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.760 never go and do like a live tour, Like I 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.959 don't know how you guys do stand up like on 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:50.760 by yourself on the stage, Like that makes me so 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:54.520 anxious and so like when we do our like live shows, 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:56.480 I would not be able to do it without her, 0:09:56.559 --> 0:09:58.120 like knowing she's on the stage with me. 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.560 Yeah, you talk about having a panic attack before one 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:02.720 of the shows, right, And when you guys go on stage, 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:04.600 you're not page you're not doing stand up, right, you 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.000 guys are just doing your podcast or no. 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.160 It's like a I mean, we're doing the same show 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:15.960 at every show, but it's it's ad lib of us 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.719 in our podcast format, but it's like segments like we do. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.400 A power point. The power points are hilarious. 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.560 It's, oh my god, what a nightmare to create a 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:29.400 power point. Oh it's like, my worst nightmare is to 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:31.440 be in an office and have someone tell me that 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:33.400 I have to start that I have to create a 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:34.120 power point. 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.080 Chelsea, we have a gen Z doing child Labor who 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.600 made the PowerPoint for us. We didn't make the power point, 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:41.839 but it's so funny to just press the next slide 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:44.320 and there's like a funny photo. It's really good comedy, 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:49.160 really high level. But with Page she's hysterical, and I 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:51.680 think I saw that in her. But she jokes, She's like, 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.280 I would never do stand up because I don't want 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.880 to stand for an hour, which is just that's why 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.600 we're best friends, because we're different in those ways. 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:04.000 When what what was I gonna say? 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:07.640 Every brain cell has been burnt. I'm fighting in my 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:11.719 life where but Chelsea, even like what you've done and 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:15.120 with stand up, like there wasn't women in late night 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:19.000 talk shows everywhere to see like you had to first 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:23.120 consciously decide that can be me, and and you didn't. 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.920 No one like forced you into it. It was you 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.120 and then even women doing stand up like us taking 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.840 up space is us having to be brave and not 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:32.360 caring what people think. 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:34.600 Yeah, absolutely, you kind of you do. 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.640 I mean it's it's a hard it's hard to navigate 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.400 because people assume that if you are acting in a 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:41.600 brave way, you don't give a shit what anyone thinks. 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:42.480 That's not true. 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.439 Of course you care what people think. A human we're 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.920 all human beings. Yeah, we all get our feelings. Her 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.160 we feel like we're not good enough at certain points 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.760 in our lives. I was telling Paige Hannah before while 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:54.959 you were trying to figure out how to work a microphone, 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.000 I was telling Paige how much I liked the pictures 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.360 of her in the book as a young girl, because 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:03.480 she looks like a young woman at like six years old. 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.800 She looks like a little like a woman like her. 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.679 Her features are already womanly. But she's an a an 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:14.240 Ai baby. I love Ai when they do. I follow 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.160 this site called Tiny Gentle Asians. They have really cute 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:21.760 little Asian babies, but sometimes they there's because of that algorithm. 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.080 Because I look at that site, I get all. 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.719 These other little Asian babies sent to me and then 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:28.880 but some of them are AI where they have long 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.560 hair and makeup and they have like a briefcase, and 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:33.440 you're like, where are they going to? 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:35.400 You know, like women like little women. 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.200 I don't want babies, but I do want little as. 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.720 I love looking at babies, Oh God, I love them, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.439 especially real big ones, you know, like when they're oversized. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:47.200 Yeah, oversized. 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.400 I just don't understand why anybody ever has a thin baby. 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.160 The whole point is to have meat, you know what 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:53.480 I mean. 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.080 You have you need the meat to grow rolls, and 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:58.400 you want to be snugly, Like who wants to snuggle 0:12:58.440 --> 0:12:59.640 with a little skinny baby? 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:00.240 Nobody? 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:03.080 And if I have to carry it around, I want 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.520 to get a workout into yeah, you. 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:08.640 Know, like I'm not just And also hide food in it, 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:10.680 you know, in its little roles or whatever. 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.439 Use it for storage. 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:16.199 I want to see. I wanted to jiggle when it laughs. 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.640 But Page was a limited to She was a limited 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.240 to model, like she was the girl. 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.400 In the magazine Your Baby, Well you were Your baby 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:24.880 was a limited edition baby. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:32.000 No. I was like the fabio of teen novels. Like 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.800 when I was twelve to fourteen, I was on every 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:36.160 teen novel cover. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:37.720 Never read one of them? 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:38.280 No? 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:40.720 Oh really really? Yeah? 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:44.040 Oh interesting, So you were, Oh that's so funny. How 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:45.839 many teen novels can they put you on? 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.400 Oh my god, I was on like fifteen of them, 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.280 as different characters are the same. 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:54.920 Yeah, so that's really stupid, but I'm glad you made 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:55.640 money doing that. 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.520 Let's talk about decentering men, because there's a lot of 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.719 people sitting that have issues or thinking about ways in 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:03.880 which we can handle men. 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:05.439 And now we're living in a. 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.680 Time where women, I think in general, are pretty sick 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.520 of men. It's pretty much out like the cats out 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.800 of the bag that you know, you've really got to 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:16.040 step it up to be respected. And there are great 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.079 men out there that that do step it up and 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:19.800 do like stand with women. 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.280 But there's a lot of things that overshadow that. So 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.160 we're having a loser epidemic for sure. Yeah, what do 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.200 you think that's about. I don't know. 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.880 I saw there was like a study or something like 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.880 the rate of how many more women are graduating college 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:41.360 and own houses and how like it's society TikTok. 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.440 Yeah, society has society hasn't caught up. 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:50.760 That, like men need women more for marriage because like 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:54.040 we don't need them anymore for financial support, and so 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.840 I just think it's so funny that like the world 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:00.080 hasn't won't admit that, but like we may. 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.520 Their lives so much better, you know. 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.440 Well, also it's just because we don't need we don't 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.320 need them for those things anymore. We don't need them 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.680 to buy the house anymore, and we don't not we 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.840 don't need their financial input. So it kind of leaves 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.960 men with like, Okay, now you have to actually show 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.600 us what other valuable things you can contribute because that's 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.280 not a necessity, and they're like, wait, what, like what 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.600 else do I have? You know, you have to be charming, 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.480 you have to be kind, you have to be charismatic, 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:30.240 you have to be actually all the good things that 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.160 are more important than you know, finances. Although you do 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:37.200 have to have some money, you can't just fucking be broke. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.320 It's like, come on, I mean, you have to have 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.560 your shit together one hundred percent. 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.280 We're a big proponent of like being single is so 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:47.920 much better than being in a relationship that isn't the 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.320 right fit. Where I think there was a time where 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.400 it was like just being in a relationship and being 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:55.560 picked or chosen by a man meant you were successful. 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.200 And then we realized like, oh no, that could actually 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.960 be so much worse for your mental health. And we 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:03.560 Paige and I are both guilty of being boy crazy. 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.120 And I used to make so many decisions based on well, 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.200 is he gonna be there? Is he gonna like this? 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.840 And I was so good at morphing into like the 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.200 perfect girl. I thought a guy could be, like, we 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.920 should get oscars with some of the performances I had 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:18.600 in my twenties. And then once I realized, if you 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:20.920 get the guy and you're not being your authentic self, 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:23.320 you become a shell. Yeah. 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.720 Yeah, I once pretend to be into the Grateful Dead. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:27.920 I was dating this guy named Brett and he was 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.480 a dead he loved the dead, and he was from 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:34.440 Jersey was and I just pretended that I was a 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.440 dead head, like I was like, oh god, I fucking 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.560 love them. I've been to like forty shows. I've just 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:41.760 made up cities that I had seen them in. So ridiculous. 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:43.160 First of all, I was lying to him about my 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:43.600 age too. 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:45.400 I think I was seventeen at the time, because he 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:47.200 was a twenty he was like twenty eight, So I 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:50.320 lied and said I was twenty one and I hadn't 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:52.520 even been to half of the places that I, you know, 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:54.880 pretended I had been. And then when we got there, 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:56.440 I was like, oh my god. Like I tried to 0:16:56.480 --> 0:17:00.720 listen to one of their albums before the Clausner, like 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:01.160 I was. 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:02.960 Gonna pick up all of them. There's all there's like 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:04.639 no fucking lyrics to their song. 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.879 I was just fucked up at these shows, you know, 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.840 it's like, oh, Scott, I. 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:13.800 Was doing a lot of crowd work about like what's 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.320 something you pretended to like for a man? And the 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:21.680 comments were so funny, like girls would yell Anal his parents, 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:26.280 Harry Potter, it was everything. And look, I appreciate a 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:28.159 man with a hobby. I do like them being busy, 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.280 and I do like you learning from a man, but 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.080 just making sure that you're not he's he's attracted to 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:38.720 you for who you are and for who he is, yeah. 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.440 Right, and also finding out if we like them, like, yes, 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:42.560 it's not an audition. 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.680 You're auditioning for me. I am not auditioning for you. 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.080 I had this friend who set me up recently with 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.119 a guy, and I wasn't into him, and she's like, 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.200 oh god, I go thanks for setting me up. 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:53.360 But that's not it gonna work. 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:53.639 You know. 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.800 There was a couple things that I just was were 0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:00.199 boner killers immediately, which is almost anything with me these days, 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.720 and and she was like, God, I find him so hot. 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:05.679 I'm like, well that's the problem. Then you fucking go 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.760 out with him? What do you find him so hot? 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:09.480 So you wanted to vicariously fuck him through me? 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:12.960 So what are you doing? Then you state him? 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.560 I do live vicariously through page though. Now she's single, 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:17.760 and I'm like, what are we doing? And She's like, 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:20.000 now doing a life going? How single life going? 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:20.480 Page? 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.760 Honestly, I haven't really like I haven't felt like I've 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:26.640 gotten to enjoy it because I've been doing so much 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.280 and I and that's actually probably the best part about 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:32.800 being single. Being home by myself on a Saturday night, 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.679 I fucking love it. Like there's I've never gotten bored 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:37.480 by myself. 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.879 Yeah, I'm with you on that. I'm with you on 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.280 being alone. When I'm in Whistler, I like to get 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.119 into bed at around seven thirty. 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:48.119 Yeah, And like being being in my thirties and being 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:51.840 single it's so I was really nervous. I was like, 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.440 because I mean, when I was twenty five, I was like, oh, 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:58.080 I'll obviously be married by my early thirties. And now 0:18:58.080 --> 0:18:59.840 that I'm thirty two and I'm single, I'm like, I 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:04.080 couldn't imagine I would not I don't think I would 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:04.280 like it. 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:07.200 I'm not ready. I already know I'm not ready. Yeah, well, 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:08.360 that's great that you know that. 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.000 So talk about decentering men though you guys never answered 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:15.280 that question. Oh yeah, stay focused, Okay. 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.199 I just want to ask Chelsea questions about her life. No, 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:22.080 de centering men is so so important. We have a 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:24.160 whole part of the book where it's like list all 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.480 these things that don't involve a dude. It's kind of 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.440 like the Bechdel test, where like being conscious that you're 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:31.640 not making all your decisions based on if a guy 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.000 likes you, and page you remember your therapist what she 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:36.719 said to you about like how you sometimes wait for 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:37.640 men to choose you. 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:38.359 Yeah. 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.359 I had a therapist one time tell me that, like 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:44.200 I've never picked my own boyfriend, and it just kind 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:46.520 of like hit me, and I mean she was exactly right, 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:50.840 and I was like, I couldn't ever get that. Yeah, 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:52.880 I've never gotten over it. I'm like, oh my god, 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:54.960 I haven't picked a single one of them. They've all 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:57.480 picked me, and I've just like gone along with it. 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.440 And when I was first going on a reality show, 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:02.720 I was dating a guy and he said to me, 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:05.560 if you go on this reality show, I'll never speak 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.000 to you again. And in my head I was like 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:10.600 easy done, Like I'm going on this show, and that 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.399 man truly did never speak to me again. But like, 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.800 if I had made a decision based on my career 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:19.480 because he didn't want me to, like, I don't know 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:22.120 where I would be. So I feel like that too, 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.240 is like a part of decentering man, Like you can't 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:27.840 make decisions based on what they're telling you or what 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:30.720 they want, because again, they're losers. 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:32.159 And you know we are that. I feel like that 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:34.959 last generation that had the Disney movies of like the 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:37.560 Prince is going to save you, And I feel like 0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:39.639 it's important to have that relationship where you find the 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:42.800 guy who on paper is everything you want, Like he's tall, 0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:45.760 he's charming, he's successful, but he's not right for you. 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:48.200 And like, to me, that was signing a deal with 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:49.879 the devil. Like, I don't know if you guys have 0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.080 ever been in that situation where you got the guy 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:55.760 and then you realize like, oh no, I've I've done 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.240 this all wrong. So to any girl listening thinking that 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:01.560 a certain guy who you're making up in your head 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:04.400 because we get very creative when you're filling in the blanks, 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:07.879 is going to make you happy, it really isn't. Happiness 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:09.879 is when you know yourself and you're comfortable in your 0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:12.679 own skin and the guy who's with you just like 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:16.040 amplifies it and elevates you. Honestly, if he's not bringing 0:21:16.960 --> 0:21:18.920 value to the relationship, we don't have time. 0:21:19.680 --> 0:21:20.120 Yeah. 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:24.520 I think that it's interesting what we are willing to 0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:28.879 kind of like give away of ourselves as women for 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:31.200 not just men, for lots of things. Like you're willing 0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:33.280 even when you meet a new friend. Sometimes you'll pretend 0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:35.679 you're interested in things. I have a friend who is 0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:38.600 different depending on who she's hanging out with. Yeah, I 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:41.440 mean she's not a close friend obviously, because I fucking 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:42.040 hate that shit. 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:44.520 Oh you hate children? I hate children? Like, yeah, you 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:45.200 know somebody. 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.280 Who changes their temperature based on who they're speaking to. 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:49.359 And I think women could do that a lot because 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:51.359 we just always are trying to please people. But it 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:55.040 is very empowering to finally sit step back as a 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:58.160 woman at whatever age you are, and realize, oh, actually, 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:00.879 I'm the one, like I have to choose. I'm choosing 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.320 to be your friend, I'm choosing to be going on 0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:05.720 a date with you, and being the one that is 0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:06.960 behind those choices. 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:10.480 Yeah, people around you, I'm just saying therapy speak now. 0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:12.240 But Paige and I have been deep in therapy. 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.800 People. Do you guys go to therapy together? Because you should. 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:19.880 We have had a lot of podcast duos. Do Paige 0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:22.640 and I weirdly don't fight about anything, Like. 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:26.000 Okay, that's not weird at all, by the way, that's. 0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:28.840 What we thought about one thing, and I haven't really 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:36.199 let it go. Hannah, Yeah, that was fucked up. That 0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:40.679 day we hosted the Vanity Fair oscar red carpet and 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:43.320 I had a dress on that had a slit on 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.720 my right side, and so like you should have thought 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:48.639 about and so like I really needed to stand on 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:53.040 a certain side. But it's Hannah's bad side. Paige doesn't 0:22:53.040 --> 0:22:55.080 have a bad side, and she wouldn't let me stand 0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:58.439 on that side, and I death stared her at the 0:22:58.640 --> 0:22:59.240 entire time. 0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:01.439 Oh yeah, which is your good side, Hannah? 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:04.119 My left side is good side. The other side is 0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:11.160 like monster monster, Yes, I yeah, it's yeah, yeah, Page. 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.040 You don't seem like you have a bad side. 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:16.000 So that's why I was like, you have a slit 0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:19.639 in your little princess dress, bitch, get to your side. 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:21.200 I don't want to she from. 0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:24.439 She looked at me like she was my child and 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:27.040 like I was sending her off to summer camp for 0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:29.119 seven months. Like she looked at me and she was like, 0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:31.159 I'll literally die if you make me stand on the side. 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:32.720 And it's like we're very. 0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:35.400 Like low priority friends, like you know those friends were 0:23:35.960 --> 0:23:38.399 they're always looking for a problem, like you know, you 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:40.760 can't make dinner, and they're like you always do, like 0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:42.560 they make things into bigger things. 0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:44.320 Where we're low maintenance friends. 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:46.400 We're very low maintenance friends. Yeah. 0:23:46.600 --> 0:23:48.360 Yeah, it's really but it's really hard to have high 0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:51.639 maintenance friends in this you know, in this climate, in 0:23:51.720 --> 0:23:56.200 this political climate climate, it's hard to stay in touch 0:23:56.240 --> 0:23:58.720 with anybody. 0:23:58.840 --> 0:24:01.880 We're fighting for a fuck lives right now. Save yourself. 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:04.440 You girls talk a lot. We are we are fighting 0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:04.920 for our lives. 0:24:04.960 --> 0:24:06.879 You girls talk a lot about we're about to just 0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:11.359 be disenfranchised from voting completely, so especially married people. So 0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:14.160 there you go, Hannah again, another wing Winter Winter Winter. 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:16.879 You guys talk a lot about being nervous, like and 0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:19.560 you do so much. I mean, your social anxiety you 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:21.960 talk a lot about and you talk about talking about 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:25.960 that a lot, but you're both public doing public facing things. 0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:27.440 So when you have that, how does that work? 0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:30.320 How do you manage your social anxiety if you are 0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:31.400 a blocker? 0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:32.920 Yeah, a per panet all. 0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:36.080 Yeah, yeah, I gave I gave them on to my 0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:37.600 friend the other morning when she woke up. She had 0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:39.640 done mushrooms the night before, and she was all anxious 0:24:39.640 --> 0:24:41.840 the next day. And you know, sometimes mushrooms hit weird. 0:24:42.080 --> 0:24:44.040 You guys don't do enough drugs. I feel like your 0:24:44.040 --> 0:24:45.920 generation is it doesn't do enough drugs. 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:49.159 So I don't know, we're mollis. We've done drugs, but 0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:50.639 gen Z they don't. 0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:54.240 Yeah, that's the generation. They don't do. Even their teen 0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:55.840 pregnancy rate is even down. 0:24:56.280 --> 0:24:59.560 Yeah, they're not even their parents' basement. 0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:01.720 They're not even sneaking out. 0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:03.920 They're not even getting fingered on the side of their leg. 0:25:04.280 --> 0:25:07.560 They're using therapies week. How do you get fingered on 0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:08.720 the side of your leg. 0:25:09.000 --> 0:25:11.239 When you're like, you know what, You're like fourteen and 0:25:11.240 --> 0:25:13.040 he has no idea what he's doing, and you're like, 0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:15.080 that feels so good, and then you tell your friends 0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:17.120 you're like, We're like, we had the best time. 0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:20.840 That's my thigh. 0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:24.640 Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right 0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:26.640 back with Hannah and Page. 0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:29.520 If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at 0:25:29.520 --> 0:25:32.960 Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to 0:25:33.000 --> 0:25:35.800 hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on, 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:39.160 and this week we're especially looking for questions about dating. 0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:42.159 If you are dating, if you're single, if you have 0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:43.960 issues with someone that you just met, if you have 0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:45.760 issues with someone that you've been dating for a while, 0:25:45.960 --> 0:25:52.080 please write in at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. 0:25:52.320 --> 0:25:55.000 And we're back with Hannah and Paige from the Gigly Squad. 0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:58.120 We're talking about their new book, How to Giggle Catherine. 0:25:58.160 --> 0:26:00.680 We're going to take some callers and you guys could 0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.360 give your sagacious advice. 0:26:03.000 --> 0:26:05.400 All right, well, our first question is just an email 0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:09.359 she's not joining us, but it comes from Carrie, she says, 0:26:09.440 --> 0:26:13.040 Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to ask an etiquette question regarding 0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:16.760 my nephew's wedding. The wedding invitations arrived and my grown daughter, 0:26:16.880 --> 0:26:20.320 twenty seven years old was invited. However, her partner, with 0:26:20.359 --> 0:26:23.720 whom she shares a home and a child, was not included. 0:26:24.240 --> 0:26:26.200 The two year old was not on the invitation either, 0:26:26.240 --> 0:26:28.720 which I understand it'll be an adult's only event, but 0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:31.080 I'm confused by her partner is not included, as they've 0:26:31.119 --> 0:26:33.880 been together for five years. I can only assume it's 0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:36.240 because they're not married. Should I say something or just 0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:38.160 let it be? I do not think my daughter will 0:26:38.160 --> 0:26:40.359 attend without her person. Thank you, Carrie. 0:26:40.840 --> 0:26:47.040 That's weird. I thought the rule was over eighteen you 0:26:47.080 --> 0:26:47.880 get a plus one. 0:26:48.640 --> 0:26:51.320 Well, not everybody invites you with a plus one because 0:26:51.520 --> 0:26:53.480 but if you know somebody has a partner, they should 0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:55.800 be invited. Yeah, and they have a fucking baby together. 0:26:55.880 --> 0:26:56.560 That is weird. 0:26:56.920 --> 0:26:58.919 I would say something. I would say something, but I 0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:01.520 say something about everything. So yeah, what do you girls 0:27:01.520 --> 0:27:03.159 think I would say something? 0:27:03.359 --> 0:27:05.480 It's worth it. It would throw it out. There was 0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:06.440 this the mom by the. 0:27:06.359 --> 0:27:08.760 Way, this is the mom. Yeah, the daughter, this is 0:27:08.760 --> 0:27:09.080 the mom. 0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:11.919 Get your mom to call her. Yeah, to deal with 0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:13.360 that exactly for sure. 0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:15.600 But also lose the baby. Don't include the baby in 0:27:15.640 --> 0:27:17.280 that invitation. Nobody wants them there. 0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:20.439 I do think mom sometimes want to like make it 0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:22.960 more drama than it actually is. Like it might actually 0:27:23.000 --> 0:27:25.440 have just been an oversight. Maybe someone was helping with 0:27:25.480 --> 0:27:27.760 the invitations and left off, you know, so I mean 0:27:28.200 --> 0:27:34.080 act like, oh, maybe this was just an oversight, like they. 0:27:32.440 --> 0:27:34.280 Yeah, yeah, but definitely bring it up. 0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:38.080 Yeah, all the wedding stuff. Weddings have become like I 0:27:38.160 --> 0:27:40.439 hate to use this word, but shoo gee. Like it 0:27:40.480 --> 0:27:44.520 almost feels like weddings have become like handmaid's daily to me. 0:27:44.680 --> 0:27:45.879 I don't know. 0:27:45.920 --> 0:27:49.480 They have a certain like eeriness to them. 0:27:49.880 --> 0:27:53.240 The dad walking you down the aisle and. 0:27:52.040 --> 0:27:57.760 The like, Yeah, he's like very outdated in my opinion. 0:27:57.880 --> 0:28:02.919 Weddings it's like, let's a date, this exactly exactly. I 0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:06.639 felt awkward during mine, but it was fun mm hmm. Okay, 0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:10.320 you keep telling yourself that, Hannah, I'm going to be 0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:12.520 divorced by just back out. 0:28:14.320 --> 0:28:17.080 It was like the night I decided to try whiskey 0:28:17.160 --> 0:28:20.000 sours for the first time, and I was like, I 0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:20.920 love these. 0:28:21.359 --> 0:28:21.920 Oh my god. 0:28:22.000 --> 0:28:23.800 I did that at my sister's wedding. I was like 0:28:23.880 --> 0:28:26.480 sixteen years old. I went up to the bartender. We 0:28:26.480 --> 0:28:28.520 were on Martha's vineyard, and I was like, what is 0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:30.680 a drink that is going to fucking get me fucked up? 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:35.159 I was sixteen in my Laura Ashley bridesmaid dress and 0:28:35.240 --> 0:28:37.600 the like long Island iced tea I had seven. My 0:28:37.640 --> 0:28:41.200 father carried me up to my sister's honeymoon sweet and 0:28:41.240 --> 0:28:43.480 put me in bed at like seven thirty at night 0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:47.320 and said, don't come down to the wedding again. That's 0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:48.680 when I fell in love with alcohol. 0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:51.160 I was like, I could use this to avoid weddings 0:28:51.160 --> 0:28:51.760 then for sure. 0:28:53.120 --> 0:28:55.280 And you get carried, that's amazing. I want to get 0:28:55.280 --> 0:28:58.720 carried everywhere. We actually in my wedding, we planned for 0:28:58.920 --> 0:29:01.800 page to catch the bouquet, so we like fully cheated, 0:29:02.280 --> 0:29:06.000 like fully like quarterback, like I called the shots. But 0:29:06.080 --> 0:29:06.880 it's now, and. 0:29:06.880 --> 0:29:09.640 Really just because I didn't want anyone else to catch it, 0:29:09.760 --> 0:29:11.520 not because I wanted to get married next. 0:29:11.640 --> 0:29:15.560 I was just like, no one's catching my best friend's bouquet, right, well. 0:29:15.360 --> 0:29:17.960 That's now this video is going viral of the bouquet 0:29:18.000 --> 0:29:20.240 being thrown and all these girls running away from it. 0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:22.200 Like that's the theme now, Like I don't want to 0:29:22.240 --> 0:29:23.080 get married next. 0:29:23.840 --> 0:29:24.760 That's cute. I like that. 0:29:25.520 --> 0:29:27.960 Yeah. Who Yeah, try not to get hit with the 0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:30.400 bouquet is the new game there. You just try to 0:29:30.440 --> 0:29:32.560 peg your friends like dodgeball. 0:29:32.240 --> 0:29:36.920 Yes, exactly, like tag you're it. That's actually that's an ominous. Yeah, 0:29:36.920 --> 0:29:38.040 it's an ominous warning. 0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:38.920 Yes. 0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:43.720 Well, our next caller is Nora, and she had a 0:29:43.760 --> 0:29:46.120 toxic X reached back out to her, so she says, 0:29:46.120 --> 0:29:49.040 Dear Chelsea, I had one of the most heartbreaking breakups 0:29:49.080 --> 0:29:52.160 last summer, a couple of days before my birthday. It 0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:54.440 all started with me going out sailing with my boyfriend, 0:29:54.520 --> 0:29:56.720 having a great time, about to say I love you 0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:58.880 to him for the first time, when he stopped me 0:29:58.960 --> 0:30:02.280 mid sentence and said, don't say it. And then long 0:30:02.320 --> 0:30:04.800 story short, she got wasted and got in banned from 0:30:04.800 --> 0:30:07.360 like his yacht club. He then proceeded to ghost me 0:30:07.440 --> 0:30:09.040 for two days and blow off the dinner I had 0:30:09.080 --> 0:30:11.160 planned with him and a friend. After my friend left, 0:30:11.200 --> 0:30:13.880 he broke up with me via text. We continued to 0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:16.320 talk here and there. The following month, he'd say how 0:30:16.320 --> 0:30:18.800 he missed our sushi knights together. Then one morning he 0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:21.400 texted me saying we needed to cut ties because I 0:30:21.480 --> 0:30:24.160 drunk texted him the night before. Not more than ten 0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.719 minutes later, he posted a picture on Instagram of his 0:30:26.760 --> 0:30:29.200 new girlfriend, saying how he knew right away he found 0:30:29.200 --> 0:30:31.760 someone special. It felt like a slap in the face 0:30:31.840 --> 0:30:33.960 because he claimed he didn't want me to post us 0:30:33.960 --> 0:30:36.680 together because I haven't met his eleven year old daughter yet. 0:30:36.920 --> 0:30:39.040 This was a lie, since he posted the new girlfriend 0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:41.560 a week after meeting and also met his daughter the 0:30:41.560 --> 0:30:44.000 first week. Meanwhile, we dated for over six months and 0:30:44.040 --> 0:30:46.760 he never introduced me to her. I never felt so 0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:49.000 hurt or disrespected. I was planning to let the air 0:30:49.000 --> 0:30:51.000 out of his tires, but saw his new girlfriend's car 0:30:51.000 --> 0:30:53.520 in the driveway and not his. I got mad and 0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.600 pushed over all his lawn furniture and went home. I 0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:59.320 also signed him up for every cult and weird religion 0:30:59.320 --> 0:31:01.200 out there when I was high with my friend one night. 0:31:01.760 --> 0:31:04.600 We blocked each other since, but recently he's reached out 0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:07.080 via Instagram to ask how I was doing, and they 0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:09.160 say that he was sorry for the way things ended. 0:31:09.520 --> 0:31:11.160 I told him I'm not ready to be friends or 0:31:11.200 --> 0:31:13.080 talk to him. I ended up blocking him because I 0:31:13.080 --> 0:31:15.880 didn't trust myself. However, hearing from him has brought back 0:31:15.920 --> 0:31:18.000 all the feelings I felt for him before the breakup, 0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:20.480 as well as sadness and anger I felt after the breakup. 0:31:20.800 --> 0:31:23.600 I feel like sometimes I like the drama and secretly 0:31:23.840 --> 0:31:25.680 I would love if he wanted to get back with me, 0:31:26.000 --> 0:31:28.320 even though I know deep down I shouldn't any advice 0:31:28.360 --> 0:31:30.120 on how to move forward and now let this affect 0:31:30.160 --> 0:31:30.880 my dating life. 0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:33.960 Nora, I love your voice. I could listen to you 0:31:34.000 --> 0:31:34.880 read stories. 0:31:35.040 --> 0:31:38.320 I feel like all the thanks Page, Hi, Nora, how 0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:39.680 are you Hi? 0:31:41.880 --> 0:31:42.120 Yeah? 0:31:42.240 --> 0:31:43.120 I was surprised. 0:31:44.080 --> 0:31:48.400 Yes, this is Noura Dipsy doodles, my god, Hello, Laura, 0:31:48.520 --> 0:31:50.719 say hello to Page and Hannah. 0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:51.760 I love you guys. 0:31:51.800 --> 0:31:55.520 I listened Squad literally every week, and my friend got 0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:58.720 freak out. I like, I'm so glad you guys are 0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:01.760 a guest because literally obsessed with your guys. 0:32:01.800 --> 0:32:04.320 Thank you so much. I thought you were a producer 0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:05.920 was like. 0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:07.880 Gonna fire us. He thought you were on assumed to 0:32:07.920 --> 0:32:10.920 fire us, and Chelsea was just surprising us. 0:32:11.040 --> 0:32:15.000 She's an interventionist. We're intervening, but this is about your marriage, Hannah. 0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:18.640 She's actually, this isn't a podcast, Paige, tell her what 0:32:18.680 --> 0:32:19.160 we're doing. 0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:22.920 Yeah, Norah's like, I'm does a secret family. 0:32:23.240 --> 0:32:26.120 You need to fucking wake up, Nora. First of all, okay, 0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:29.760 you do not You cannot be attracted to men who 0:32:29.800 --> 0:32:33.120 treat you badly. This is a condition and if you 0:32:33.200 --> 0:32:35.479 don't learn it now, you're gonna continue to learn this 0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:38.600 over and over and over again. You he is not 0:32:38.760 --> 0:32:41.960 worthy of you. No man who treats you that way 0:32:42.080 --> 0:32:45.160 is worthy of you. And regardless of what happened, and 0:32:45.200 --> 0:32:48.320 like posting on Instagram that all of that is garbage, 0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:51.120 it's all nonsense. You know, he's completely full of shit, 0:32:51.720 --> 0:32:53.959 completely full of shit, and just did that to like 0:32:54.280 --> 0:32:56.240 actively torture you, Like posting it. 0:32:56.280 --> 0:32:57.640 Ten minutes after you spoke. 0:32:57.880 --> 0:33:01.719 Is somebody who's actively trying to her your feelings and 0:33:01.760 --> 0:33:03.040 you're saying that you like that. 0:33:03.640 --> 0:33:05.840 The girl who's dating was like, Okay, we need to 0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:09.719 you need to post something because like we need Like 0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:13.000 she was feeling insecure that I was still talking to him, 0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:14.640 But I'm like, all you need to do is just 0:33:14.680 --> 0:33:17.680 text me and say hey, I'm seeing someone and like 0:33:17.760 --> 0:33:20.600 we can't talk anymore, instead of just post on Instagram, 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:24.400 which he knew is what I wanted for the next month. 0:33:24.520 --> 0:33:26.640 This is all like, I want to take everything he 0:33:26.720 --> 0:33:29.120 said to you, everything he said to you, all of 0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:32.240 your communication, put it in a big plastic garbage bag 0:33:32.280 --> 0:33:34.440 over your head, and throw it out the fucking window 0:33:34.720 --> 0:33:37.760 because none of the details matter. Nothing you said to 0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:40.040 him and he said to you, You're like you're focusing 0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:42.000 on the minutia of it, and this like what did 0:33:42.040 --> 0:33:43.600 you say and what did he say? It doesn't matter. 0:33:43.680 --> 0:33:46.120 He's a piece of garbage. He doesn't respect you, and 0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:49.280 he's not careful about your feelings. So that's all You've got, 0:33:49.320 --> 0:33:51.880 all that information, and that's all you need to know 0:33:52.200 --> 0:33:54.800 to stay away from men like that, because otherwise you 0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:57.160 keep repeating this nonsense. You know what I mean, And 0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:59.000 as a woman, I can tell you it's true. You 0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:01.800 repeat these cycles until you break them. So don't you 0:34:01.840 --> 0:34:03.720 want to break the cycle and only date men that 0:34:03.760 --> 0:34:05.440 are going to treat you with respect? 0:34:06.200 --> 0:34:08.919 Yes, and I have had long term relationships where I've 0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:12.520 had boyfriends that treating me with respect, and I mean, 0:34:12.760 --> 0:34:16.160 sometimes it's just not the right place or they're a 0:34:16.200 --> 0:34:19.280 little bit boring. I guess I do like the drama 0:34:19.600 --> 0:34:21.440 a little bit, but. 0:34:22.200 --> 0:34:25.440 We understand playing games. Paige and I love games and 0:34:25.880 --> 0:34:28.239 we love getting obsessed with the guy who never lets 0:34:28.280 --> 0:34:31.080 you fully have him. But as someone who's very competitive, 0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:33.600 the way you really win is not getting him. The 0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:36.319 way you win is him never having access to you 0:34:36.400 --> 0:34:40.080 ever again and going and crushing it. That's you want 0:34:40.160 --> 0:34:41.759 him to look at his phone and be like, I 0:34:42.000 --> 0:34:44.919 fuck up with her, and that's the win. 0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:48.920 Hannah like, if I I also love a little bit 0:34:48.920 --> 0:34:51.399 of toxic, Like I get the fun of like back 0:34:51.440 --> 0:34:53.200 and forth and back and forth, and I get like 0:34:53.239 --> 0:34:56.359 that can be exciting until it gets to a point 0:34:56.360 --> 0:34:58.960 where it's just too much. And I used to do 0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:01.000 this thing where I would like blo them and be like, Okay, 0:35:01.200 --> 0:35:03.440 they'll never see me again. And then Hannah was like, 0:35:03.520 --> 0:35:07.160 why would you block them? Let them see how much 0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:10.040 better you are than them, And then I started like 0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:13.400 posting for revenge, and then I would like want to 0:35:13.440 --> 0:35:17.239 accomplish things in my career truly out of revenge, and 0:35:17.280 --> 0:35:18.839 then I would do it and I'd be like, oh, 0:35:18.920 --> 0:35:21.120 I actually started this because I wanted to get back 0:35:21.160 --> 0:35:23.640 at some guy. But now I really am gonna go 0:35:23.640 --> 0:35:26.560 on Jimmy fallon, you know. 0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:27.320 And to see you. He can't even be in the 0:35:27.360 --> 0:35:30.760 same room as yeah, like that's winning him. Him choosing 0:35:30.840 --> 0:35:33.440 you and then fucking it up later is just waste 0:35:33.440 --> 0:35:33.880 your time. 0:35:34.600 --> 0:35:36.800 Yeah, And I went to Japan and like he was 0:35:36.840 --> 0:35:39.239 supposed to come and like he got to seal the 0:35:39.239 --> 0:35:41.680 photos he missed out on. I went for two weeks. 0:35:42.040 --> 0:35:44.160 I went on like a solo chip to Puerto Rico, 0:35:44.600 --> 0:35:46.400 and that's when he saw it and was like, oh fuck, 0:35:46.560 --> 0:35:50.000 like she's having an amazing time, Like yeah, I miss her. 0:35:50.080 --> 0:35:52.040 And I'm like, yeah, I know. 0:35:52.239 --> 0:35:54.319 You can't meet a new guy unless you also like 0:35:54.440 --> 0:35:56.960 close it with him. I'm about that with careers too, 0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:59.080 Like you have to really close the door for other 0:35:59.120 --> 0:36:01.960 doors to open. And I think you should torture him 0:36:01.960 --> 0:36:03.480 by never talking to him again. 0:36:04.360 --> 0:36:07.440 But just posting like my travel and yeah. 0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:08.200 Yeah. 0:36:08.239 --> 0:36:11.120 But just also as a like an ethos to yourself, 0:36:11.160 --> 0:36:13.319 you have to like make a promise to yourself that 0:36:13.360 --> 0:36:16.320 you're not going to be that's beneath your set of standards, 0:36:16.360 --> 0:36:18.520 Like you want your standards here and people need to 0:36:18.560 --> 0:36:20.719 meet them, especially if you're going to be dating them, 0:36:21.000 --> 0:36:22.279 and that's just the way it has to be. 0:36:22.560 --> 0:36:23.440 Yeah, don't engage. 0:36:23.520 --> 0:36:25.680 And it did take six months to like really like 0:36:25.760 --> 0:36:28.319 work on myself and like not date anyone, and like 0:36:28.560 --> 0:36:31.319 I got to meet therapists and everything. So I feel 0:36:31.360 --> 0:36:33.399 like I really learned how to be on my own 0:36:33.440 --> 0:36:37.600 without dating because I was always dating someone or having 0:36:37.680 --> 0:36:40.480 questioned someone because it's fun. But I was like, well, 0:36:40.760 --> 0:36:44.839 I need to learn to just like be okay with 0:36:44.880 --> 0:36:48.040 my career, my friends and like but myself and as 0:36:48.040 --> 0:36:50.239 the hardest part is always a learning process. 0:36:50.600 --> 0:36:53.040 Yeah, but then you're going to realize like, oh oh 0:36:53.160 --> 0:36:57.160 that that actually brings you so much more and long term, like. 0:36:57.160 --> 0:36:59.600 Your career and your friendships are going to be there 0:37:00.120 --> 0:37:00.600 for you. 0:37:00.600 --> 0:37:00.799 You know. 0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:03.799 So throughout all these guys, however many men you end 0:37:03.880 --> 0:37:06.160 up dating in your life, and there will be more, 0:37:06.200 --> 0:37:08.799 you know, multiple people, hopefully you're not you know, like 0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:11.319 that's that's a nice thing to have variety and have 0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:14.160 different experiences. But yeah, I would say put all your 0:37:14.239 --> 0:37:16.680 energy into your work and into your friendships and into 0:37:16.680 --> 0:37:19.439 your family, and that's where you're gonna get the light back. 0:37:19.680 --> 0:37:22.920 Not from as much fun as it is to like 0:37:23.040 --> 0:37:26.640 have that toxic relationship. Sometimes it's so much more fun 0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:30.240 when someone's obsessed with you, Like I really do believe 0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:32.319 that the guy has to like the girl more, and 0:37:32.440 --> 0:37:36.640 I love that, you know, I love when they're Also. 0:37:36.400 --> 0:37:39.359 There's nothing hotter than a guy who's like playing games 0:37:39.360 --> 0:37:41.400 with you and you don't actually know what he's like, 0:37:41.400 --> 0:37:43.680 Like you're making up in your head how great this 0:37:43.719 --> 0:37:45.640 guy is. That girl's bored with him. 0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:50.640 Yeah, Like anytime I see an ex with a new girlfriend, 0:37:50.760 --> 0:37:53.160 I'm like, I feel so bad for her. She's like 0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:56.240 a week away from realizing this guy fucking sucks. 0:37:56.840 --> 0:37:59.759 Well he broke up with her after two months because 0:37:59.760 --> 0:38:01.320 he's like, oh, yeah, I was wrong. 0:38:02.440 --> 0:38:05.080 Leave him out to dry, leave him to dry. Sorry 0:38:05.080 --> 0:38:05.880 I'm yelling, Chelsea. 0:38:06.719 --> 0:38:07.439 Okay. 0:38:07.640 --> 0:38:10.680 It's like I'm like to the girl singers like, oh no, 0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:12.399 like it did, Like it didn't work out. 0:38:12.440 --> 0:38:12.959 I was wrong. 0:38:13.080 --> 0:38:18.200 She's actually like talking to him just yeah, how tall 0:38:18.280 --> 0:38:21.719 is he? I need to know? I literally need to. 0:38:24.840 --> 0:38:25.200 Yeah that. 0:38:27.880 --> 0:38:34.200 Would you even be responding no? 0:38:34.840 --> 0:38:39.319 Which is also let's fast forward to it actually did 0:38:39.320 --> 0:38:41.000 work out and you're in the kitchen with him one day, 0:38:41.040 --> 0:38:42.840 and he's annoying you, and you hate how he breathes, 0:38:42.880 --> 0:38:44.880 and you remember how he didn't even choose you the 0:38:44.880 --> 0:38:47.560 first time around. You'll hit him with a kitchen knife, 0:38:47.640 --> 0:38:49.319 you know, Like this is not good. 0:38:50.400 --> 0:38:52.360 What's up with a pet in your hand? Are you journal? 0:38:55.840 --> 0:38:59.600 You always tell people write stuff down that I was. 0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:01.640 I was, I was gonna take notes, but it turned 0:39:01.680 --> 0:39:02.640 into hearts. 0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:05.359 And you're gonna take notes on She doesn't know what 0:39:05.440 --> 0:39:07.000 she's talking about. 0:39:06.640 --> 0:39:08.640 Honestly ridiculous. 0:39:09.440 --> 0:39:10.640 It makes me look official. 0:39:11.000 --> 0:39:12.960 Ura, Thanks for calling in. You need to get your 0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:15.400 ship together. Okay, like, no more of this bullshit. 0:39:15.520 --> 0:39:18.160 Okay, okay, everything else is good. 0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:20.839 Yeah, everything else is good. But like, don't obsess over 0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:22.960 this guy. I know that's easier said than done, but 0:39:23.000 --> 0:39:25.399 you just hurt us. Like that's a waste of your time. 0:39:25.480 --> 0:39:26.279 You're better than that. 0:39:26.520 --> 0:39:33.200 Okay, bye, okay, okay, okay. 0:39:31.280 --> 0:39:37.279 We love you. Wait, Chelsea, look at my sweat that 0:39:39.520 --> 0:39:41.480 This is what men do to me. I got pissed 0:39:41.480 --> 0:39:43.200 at us. Call Hannah. 0:39:43.239 --> 0:39:45.800 Looks like both of her under arms water just broke. 0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:50.680 She's sweating like she has diarrhea from under her arms. 0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:51.400 Oh my god. 0:39:51.640 --> 0:39:53.960 Okay, it's actually a disease, Chelsea, So you should be 0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:57.160 more sensitive because hyperhydros disease called hypo something. 0:39:57.560 --> 0:40:02.600 Anyway, what who Okay? Our next caller is Joe Well. 0:40:03.200 --> 0:40:05.799 Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty seven year old single woman 0:40:05.880 --> 0:40:08.600 looking for some advice on how to embrace and fully 0:40:08.719 --> 0:40:11.239 enjoy my single life. For most of my life I 0:40:11.320 --> 0:40:13.520 yearn to be in a relationship. But thanks to therapy 0:40:13.560 --> 0:40:16.160 and You're Insightful podcast, I've come to realize that being 0:40:16.200 --> 0:40:19.759 single can bring me immense joy. Recently, I've found happiness 0:40:19.800 --> 0:40:23.520 and simply enjoying life, pursuing hobbies, traveling solo, making the 0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:26.200 most out of every moment. I have a successful career, 0:40:26.360 --> 0:40:28.640 own my home, and am surrounded by an amazing group 0:40:28.640 --> 0:40:32.320 of friends. My life feels absolutely perfect, So what's the problem. 0:40:32.440 --> 0:40:35.400 While I genuinely love my independence, I often find myself 0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:38.200 wanting to share the experiences with someone, whether it's going 0:40:38.200 --> 0:40:41.000 on trips, going out dancing, or having nice dinners. I've 0:40:41.040 --> 0:40:43.440 noticed that most of my friends are in relationships, married, 0:40:43.520 --> 0:40:47.520 or have children. This has made organizing activities a bit tricky. 0:40:47.960 --> 0:40:51.080 They either have family commitments or financial responsibilities that make 0:40:51.120 --> 0:40:53.560 it difficult to join in and while I'm not matter jealous, 0:40:53.640 --> 0:40:56.960 I do miss having more spontaneous social opportunities. As I 0:40:57.000 --> 0:40:59.440 grow older, I find that fewer friends are available for 0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:02.399 a casual Friday night out. I also want to mention 0:41:02.560 --> 0:41:04.800 that I don't want children, and while I'd be happy 0:41:04.800 --> 0:41:06.840 to get married, I've stopped trying to date because it 0:41:06.880 --> 0:41:09.600 just became too hard. So I'm focusing on living my 0:41:09.640 --> 0:41:11.680 life to the fullest as a single woman. So I'm 0:41:11.719 --> 0:41:14.080 reaching out for advice. Should I accept that as the 0:41:14.120 --> 0:41:16.520 only single gal in my circle, I might have to 0:41:16.560 --> 0:41:19.040 do most activities alone from now on, or should I 0:41:19.080 --> 0:41:20.919 make an effort to find new friends who are more 0:41:20.960 --> 0:41:22.560 in the same lane as I am right now? 0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:23.240 At Joell? 0:41:24.080 --> 0:41:27.800 Hi, Joelle, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is Paige and Hannah, 0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:28.920 our special guest today. 0:41:29.560 --> 0:41:30.120 Hi Joell. 0:41:30.719 --> 0:41:31.280 Hi, guys. 0:41:31.320 --> 0:41:33.800 This is so great you guys. I'd like perfect to 0:41:33.840 --> 0:41:34.520 give me advice. 0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:37.440 Yeah, seriously, I feel like we need to start a forum. 0:41:37.640 --> 0:41:39.440 I mean, there must be some forums out there for 0:41:39.480 --> 0:41:42.839 people who don't have children who need to band together. Right, 0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:45.080 there should be some sort of where you can meet 0:41:45.080 --> 0:41:48.040 people in your community who also have these same ideas 0:41:48.120 --> 0:41:50.000 about life. Because you do, first of all, you have 0:41:50.040 --> 0:41:51.920 to branch out and you have to make some new friends, 0:41:52.080 --> 0:41:54.600 not replace your friends, of course, you know they can 0:41:54.640 --> 0:41:57.759 be your friends, and you want to maintain friendships with 0:41:57.800 --> 0:41:59.040 all the people that you know are. 0:41:58.880 --> 0:41:59.520 Important to you. 0:41:59.760 --> 0:42:01.799 But yeah, there's plenty of people out there that are 0:42:01.800 --> 0:42:05.320 doing exactly what you're doing that don't that that aren't 0:42:05.320 --> 0:42:06.360 into that lifestyle. 0:42:06.680 --> 0:42:08.520 But how do you go about? Where do you live? 0:42:09.320 --> 0:42:11.760 I'm in Toronto, Okay, well that's great. 0:42:11.840 --> 0:42:13.560 Well that's a big city, so that's going to be 0:42:13.920 --> 0:42:15.840 that's not that's not that. I think you just have 0:42:15.920 --> 0:42:18.640 to like get outside of your comfort zone and like 0:42:18.760 --> 0:42:21.160 do some things that you wouldn't normally do. Just to 0:42:21.200 --> 0:42:24.880 start taking exercise classes, like going to some sort of 0:42:25.000 --> 0:42:28.239 art event, or going to like any any sort of 0:42:28.320 --> 0:42:32.080 like group hiking activity, like doing things where you're just 0:42:32.080 --> 0:42:34.359 going to meet people, you know what I mean that 0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:37.080 you wouldn't normally meet in whatever you're doing thus far, 0:42:37.160 --> 0:42:38.520 Like what's your social situation? 0:42:38.840 --> 0:42:40.439 Like, like where do you what do you like to do? 0:42:40.920 --> 0:42:40.960 No? 0:42:41.160 --> 0:42:41.480 I do? 0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:44.640 I like I obviously like exercising, and I love like 0:42:44.719 --> 0:42:47.080 going to concert and things. I guess like it's just that, 0:42:47.280 --> 0:42:49.600 like I'm thirty eight. So it's just at the point 0:42:49.640 --> 0:42:51.759 of like, Okay, I guess my friends have kids and 0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:53.400 they're like in the younger age, so I know that, 0:42:53.440 --> 0:42:56.279 like yels will get easier for them to like want 0:42:56.280 --> 0:42:58.080 to hang out. But this is like the age where 0:42:58.120 --> 0:43:00.839 like they need a babysitter and stuff. So I'm just like, Okay, 0:43:00.840 --> 0:43:02.960 do I wait it out or do I just like 0:43:03.120 --> 0:43:05.520 exactly like you said, like try to find new friends, which, 0:43:05.560 --> 0:43:07.880 like I hate meeting people, so I guess I need 0:43:07.920 --> 0:43:11.400 to branch I meet people and just get new friends. 0:43:11.200 --> 0:43:12.600 To kind of do the activities I want to do. 0:43:12.680 --> 0:43:14.960 I think you wait for your friends to get divorced. 0:43:15.200 --> 0:43:16.520 They will soon give it. 0:43:18.880 --> 0:43:23.160 Started flying their husbands, yes and or back. That's a 0:43:23.239 --> 0:43:27.120 nice idea. That's a great idea. You guys, have you 0:43:27.160 --> 0:43:31.120 done that? You thought about doing that? Joel? You know what, 0:43:31.400 --> 0:43:32.200 I'll think about it. 0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:35.759 I'll about it. No. I do think making friends as 0:43:35.760 --> 0:43:38.920 an adult, Joel is so hard and weird. But what 0:43:39.000 --> 0:43:40.840 Chelsea's saying is, I feel like there's so many people 0:43:41.000 --> 0:43:42.839 just like you, like there needs to be an app 0:43:42.960 --> 0:43:45.360 or something made and there. Paige literally sent me a 0:43:45.400 --> 0:43:48.400 meme today talking about how these later in life. Friends 0:43:48.440 --> 0:43:51.680 you make could be so special because they're like meeting 0:43:51.719 --> 0:43:54.320 you when you're fully evolved. And what it sounds like, 0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:57.360 I'm hearing two things. One that you love being single 0:43:57.400 --> 0:43:59.160 and you love being alone, but you also yearn for 0:43:59.200 --> 0:44:02.880 a little bit of friendship or possible relationships. So you 0:44:03.000 --> 0:44:05.080 gotta get out of the nests a little. That's the 0:44:05.120 --> 0:44:08.279 first step, even though it is uncomfortable, but I think 0:44:08.320 --> 0:44:09.560 the rewards will be big. 0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:12.640 Yeah, are you on like dating apps or how are 0:44:12.680 --> 0:44:13.640 you meeting people? 0:44:13.960 --> 0:44:15.759 I am not on day y Ops, there's just the world. 0:44:16.200 --> 0:44:18.600 I know, I know, but it's yeah, I know, I know. 0:44:18.680 --> 0:44:21.240 We're talking about friends and she you know, she's saying 0:44:21.239 --> 0:44:23.680 that she's not that the dating thing isn't the priority 0:44:23.680 --> 0:44:23.960 for her. 0:44:24.000 --> 0:44:25.520 I think, right Joelle, it's friends. 0:44:25.560 --> 0:44:29.000 Oh exactly. If I meet someone, that's great. But like 0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:31.239 right now, I'm just like I'm good being single. I 0:44:31.320 --> 0:44:33.200 just end my life and just not have like any 0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:34.160 boy drama for now. 0:44:34.239 --> 0:44:34.680 Yeah. 0:44:34.480 --> 0:44:36.320 I respect that and that's fine. 0:44:36.480 --> 0:44:38.360 Like you can take a cooking class, you know, you 0:44:38.360 --> 0:44:40.320 can like kind of just like bounce around to do 0:44:40.560 --> 0:44:43.640 different things that may seem like corny or whatever, or 0:44:43.680 --> 0:44:45.560 like out you know that you wouldn't normally do, or 0:44:45.760 --> 0:44:47.799 even if it feels like it's a couple's thing, like 0:44:48.000 --> 0:44:50.440 you go like sign up for some hiking class or 0:44:50.440 --> 0:44:52.600 some like short you know, five mile like running. 0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:55.480 Chelsea wants you to hike so bad. I don't keep 0:44:55.520 --> 0:44:56.120 saying hike it. 0:44:56.280 --> 0:44:59.440 Whenever I think about things group activities, I think of hikers. 0:45:00.239 --> 0:45:04.800 Actually, one of my friends randomly joined like took a 0:45:04.840 --> 0:45:09.840 battles anonymous, like like just like wanted to take ballet 0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:11.440 and just like see what it was like. 0:45:11.680 --> 0:45:13.520 And she was obsessed with it. 0:45:13.560 --> 0:45:15.400 And she met like this whole group of girls that 0:45:15.480 --> 0:45:17.920 like can't do ballet, and now they hang out like 0:45:18.040 --> 0:45:19.840 outside of ballet instead. 0:45:20.120 --> 0:45:22.400 There's something about getting older where you get connected to 0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:24.319 your and your child again, where you're like, wait, what 0:45:24.360 --> 0:45:25.879 did I love to do? Or what do I want 0:45:25.920 --> 0:45:27.839 to do? And Paige and I were starting this new 0:45:27.840 --> 0:45:32.120 thing called hobbies. We never did it before. It's very difficult, 0:45:32.239 --> 0:45:35.919 but trying, Like like what Chelsea was saying, random things 0:45:35.920 --> 0:45:37.440 that you think you might like, it's so easy to 0:45:37.480 --> 0:45:39.400 make friends while you're like doing pottery. You're like I 0:45:39.480 --> 0:45:41.360 like your pot, and she's like I like your pot. 0:45:41.640 --> 0:45:43.840 And you have a commonality instead of it and you 0:45:43.880 --> 0:45:46.640 smoke pot, they smoke pot. But you don't have to 0:45:46.680 --> 0:45:48.759 like creepily go up to someone like at a bar 0:45:48.800 --> 0:45:50.200 and be like, do you want to be my friend? 0:45:50.719 --> 0:45:52.359 Yeah? Right right? 0:45:52.440 --> 0:45:55.480 But also just like expand your surround you know, like 0:45:55.719 --> 0:45:58.560 broad in your horizons, Like do you just get out 0:45:58.600 --> 0:46:00.800 and do some things that you haven't done in a while, 0:46:01.200 --> 0:46:03.520 and with the vibe that you're down and ready to 0:46:03.520 --> 0:46:05.640 make some new friends, and you're going to attract people 0:46:05.800 --> 0:46:09.879 just by having that kind of energy, very positive, upbeat, optimistic, 0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:11.759 just like looking for new connections. 0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:13.400 I've made tons of friends. 0:46:13.600 --> 0:46:16.360 I just turned fifty and I when I was forty, 0:46:16.400 --> 0:46:18.239 I made a whole new group of friends when I 0:46:18.239 --> 0:46:20.080 moved to Whistler, when I bought a place in Whistler. 0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:23.080 I have like ten super close girlfriends that live here 0:46:23.160 --> 0:46:26.040 now in addition to my regular rotary. Like, so you're 0:46:26.120 --> 0:46:28.160 never going to stop making friends. And while it might 0:46:28.200 --> 0:46:31.279 be like an awkward attempt in the beginning, it's a 0:46:31.320 --> 0:46:34.239 good practice to keep going. You can then you start 0:46:34.239 --> 0:46:36.760 traveling with people, you know, you meet people when you're away, 0:46:36.840 --> 0:46:40.320 Like there's no shortage of opportunities to meet other people. 0:46:40.360 --> 0:46:42.200 It's really in the vibe that you're putting out. 0:46:42.760 --> 0:46:43.400 That's true. 0:46:43.480 --> 0:46:45.520 And actually like second part to that, like and I 0:46:45.600 --> 0:46:47.200 feel like you guys probably like I don't know if 0:46:47.239 --> 0:46:49.040 you have that issue, but like on the money aspect, 0:46:49.080 --> 0:46:51.759 when you're making those friends, like sometimes that is hard 0:46:51.800 --> 0:46:53.759 to be like hey, like I kind of like nice 0:46:53.760 --> 0:46:55.480 things and want to got to nice dinners, but then 0:46:55.560 --> 0:46:56.960 other people are kind of like, oh, I don't have 0:46:56.960 --> 0:47:00.120 the disposable income like you guys have. Like this is 0:47:00.160 --> 0:47:01.759 you have just like hey, like you're obviously in the 0:47:01.800 --> 0:47:04.759 like bracket where you can like just afford anything that 0:47:04.800 --> 0:47:06.279 you want, But then do you have friends that are 0:47:06.280 --> 0:47:08.160 like not in the same bracket, and like how do 0:47:08.239 --> 0:47:08.920 you manage that? 0:47:09.440 --> 0:47:10.880 Well, it's good, that's a good question. 0:47:11.000 --> 0:47:12.000 It is a great question. 0:47:12.080 --> 0:47:13.880 It's I mean, you know, in my situation, I just 0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:14.919 pay for everyone all the time. 0:47:14.960 --> 0:47:18.320 But I know that's not because I don't want to 0:47:18.320 --> 0:47:20.440 fucking hear about splitting checks. I don't ever want to 0:47:20.440 --> 0:47:21.000 hear about that. 0:47:21.200 --> 0:47:23.120 It's like just I would pay them extra money to 0:47:23.160 --> 0:47:26.160 not hear that conversation, but I understand that's not a 0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:29.200 reality for everyone. I would just be sensitive to other 0:47:29.200 --> 0:47:32.319 people's financial situations and be like, yes, if you don't 0:47:32.320 --> 0:47:34.080 have to cut someone off because they can't afford to 0:47:34.080 --> 0:47:36.080 go to No Boo with you, but you can just 0:47:36.080 --> 0:47:38.239 be mindful and go to somewhere, go somewhere with them 0:47:38.280 --> 0:47:40.640 that is a little bit less expensive, and save Noboo 0:47:40.719 --> 0:47:42.560 for your friends who are in the same kind of 0:47:42.560 --> 0:47:45.080 income bracket. And there's also nothing wrong with you going 0:47:45.080 --> 0:47:47.120 to do No Boo by yourself, you know what I mean, 0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:49.280 and having a nice I've done that plenty of times 0:47:49.280 --> 0:47:52.719 and I love that. So just really be mindful, I 0:47:52.719 --> 0:47:55.680 would say, of the energy that you're putting out to attract, 0:47:55.800 --> 0:47:58.520 Like there's a magnetism that we all have when we're 0:47:58.560 --> 0:48:02.040 in like a happy, good, curious place, and that's where 0:48:02.040 --> 0:48:04.480 you want to be when you're meeting people. And you know, 0:48:04.520 --> 0:48:06.480 you could take a dance class, you could do any 0:48:06.520 --> 0:48:08.000 of that, any of those things. 0:48:08.239 --> 0:48:12.040 You could go play pickleball. People love pickleball. I know, 0:48:12.160 --> 0:48:12.360 I know. 0:48:12.400 --> 0:48:15.320 I feel that's the way about pickleball too. Hannah likes pickleball. 0:48:16.760 --> 0:48:21.960 No pickleball, I know, I'm kidding. She's a proper tennis player. 0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:25.439 Yeah, so are you, ChEls. But I do like having 0:48:25.600 --> 0:48:28.440 specific friends for things like you love sushi, you have 0:48:28.480 --> 0:48:29.920 your girl you always hit up when you want to 0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:32.279 go to sushi, or you have your like girl who 0:48:32.360 --> 0:48:34.759 likes to do yoga with you or something. So that's 0:48:34.800 --> 0:48:37.319 okay too. I think to have those people that you 0:48:37.920 --> 0:48:39.200 pick for different events. 0:48:39.640 --> 0:48:42.080 Right well, well, we're just focusing on getting her some 0:48:42.160 --> 0:48:44.880 new friends. Okay, so not right now, she doesn't have 0:48:44.920 --> 0:48:47.080 fifty to choose from. We want to make her go 0:48:47.160 --> 0:48:50.200 out and get these friends and then yes, and then 0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.480 you can pick ones for specific activities. 0:48:52.800 --> 0:48:55.120 Chelsea, how do you approach people if you want to 0:48:55.120 --> 0:48:55.720 be their friend? 0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:58.720 What do you do if I want to be someone's friend? 0:48:59.080 --> 0:49:02.719 Yeah, I'm full full right now, I don't have room 0:49:03.520 --> 0:49:05.400 do I'll give you some of my friends, Joel, do 0:49:05.440 --> 0:49:06.959 you want that? 0:49:07.320 --> 0:49:08.320 The rich one? I? 0:49:10.320 --> 0:49:14.480 Joelle is like, I want some sugar daddies, sugar mama, 0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:15.400 sugar mamas. 0:49:15.520 --> 0:49:17.640 Sometimes when I meet someone and I don't have time 0:49:17.640 --> 0:49:19.880 for them, like the bandwidth, I give them to my sister. 0:49:19.960 --> 0:49:21.640 I'm like, I have a new friend that wants a 0:49:21.680 --> 0:49:22.200 lot from me. 0:49:22.440 --> 0:49:23.160 Do you want her. 0:49:23.080 --> 0:49:27.120 To my Sister's like, I like her, I'll take her 0:49:28.600 --> 0:49:30.520 once I did invite a bunch of people to a dinner, 0:49:30.560 --> 0:49:32.800 including Page, and then I didn't show up, so Paige 0:49:32.840 --> 0:49:33.680 had to hang out with them. 0:49:34.080 --> 0:49:34.960 Oh I love that. 0:49:35.200 --> 0:49:36.080 I love that. 0:49:36.080 --> 0:49:38.319 That was the craziest move I got. 0:49:38.880 --> 0:49:39.680 I got a cough. 0:49:40.040 --> 0:49:42.480 I had it all arranged and Joel. 0:49:42.560 --> 0:49:44.759 In the meantime, with your existing friends that you have, 0:49:44.840 --> 0:49:47.879 you know, be be flexible about spending time with them 0:49:47.880 --> 0:49:50.240 when they can, you know, so that you're not missing 0:49:50.280 --> 0:49:50.719 them too. 0:49:50.840 --> 0:49:52.080 And I understand when people. 0:49:51.880 --> 0:49:54.000 Have little children it's really difficult to make those kinds 0:49:54.040 --> 0:49:56.759 of arrangements and it is kind of taxing. So but 0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:58.960 you know, don't count them out. You know, you can 0:49:59.000 --> 0:50:00.680 go and hang out over them. I know you don't 0:50:00.680 --> 0:50:01.960 want to hang out with the kids all the time, 0:50:01.960 --> 0:50:04.200 but like, you know, just be a little bit bendable 0:50:04.280 --> 0:50:05.720 so that it works both ways. 0:50:06.360 --> 0:50:06.560 Yeah. 0:50:06.640 --> 0:50:08.440 No, for sure, that's definitely something I can do. 0:50:08.880 --> 0:50:10.680 Yeah, okay, so what's what are you gonna do? 0:50:10.760 --> 0:50:10.920 Now? 0:50:10.960 --> 0:50:11.920 What's what's your plan? 0:50:12.239 --> 0:50:14.200 Well, I guess I'm mean I go find new friends. 0:50:14.840 --> 0:50:16.640 I won't do I won't do ballet, but I do 0:50:16.760 --> 0:50:18.960 I do started playing tennis, So I think that's great. 0:50:19.719 --> 0:50:23.440 Yeah, that's so fun. A doubles league. You meet so 0:50:23.560 --> 0:50:25.480 many people, right, you could. 0:50:25.320 --> 0:50:27.759 Join a tennis club. That's such a fun backdrop. It's 0:50:27.800 --> 0:50:28.720 like white lotus. 0:50:29.120 --> 0:50:34.440 Yeah, okay, well killed but yeah no, ya, yeah, it's 0:50:34.520 --> 0:50:36.000 just like I guess it's just getting out of my 0:50:36.040 --> 0:50:38.000 comfort zone. And like it was like, maybe like, oh, 0:50:38.000 --> 0:50:39.680 do I wait it out a couple of years and 0:50:40.000 --> 0:50:42.400 you know when my friends get available? But yeah, no, 0:50:42.600 --> 0:50:44.319 as you mentioned, and I also read your book and 0:50:44.360 --> 0:50:46.520 I love that part in Whistler when you made all 0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:49.200 your new friends, like your skiing friends. So I was like, yeah, 0:50:49.200 --> 0:50:51.000 maybe I'm just in the part of my life where 0:50:51.000 --> 0:50:52.759 I can find like new single friends I want to do. 0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:56.440 Like no, yeah, I'm always making friends, like seriously, I mean, 0:50:56.480 --> 0:50:58.279 I know I joke about not wanting anymore, but I'm 0:50:58.320 --> 0:51:00.640 always making new friends. And like, as you age, I 0:51:00.640 --> 0:51:02.959 think you get better at making friends and you also 0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:05.320 are more discerning about who you choose to be friends. 0:51:06.200 --> 0:51:07.960 Very true, Harry, You're a better picker. 0:51:08.239 --> 0:51:10.359 Yeah, so pick wisely, Joel, You're going to have lots 0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:11.640 of people wanting to be friends with you. 0:51:12.080 --> 0:51:14.759 Amazing, And you have four new friends today. Where are 0:51:14.800 --> 0:51:15.880 your friends? Perfect? 0:51:16.040 --> 0:51:20.200 Great, you're all in my hopefully in my back rackets. 0:51:23.480 --> 0:51:28.359 Choosing friends financially, you have. 0:51:28.320 --> 0:51:31.719 To friends based on their financial situation. 0:51:32.840 --> 0:51:38.280 I mean, and I'll sie if I can make you. 0:51:37.120 --> 0:51:38.959 Tax return and a therapy bill. 0:51:39.480 --> 0:51:43.920 Yes, all right, Okay, have a great day. 0:51:43.920 --> 0:51:48.160 Thanks Joe, bye, Chelsea. I love how you hold people accountable. 0:51:48.160 --> 0:51:50.120 You're like, so what are we doing when you leave 0:51:50.160 --> 0:51:50.880 this call? 0:51:51.080 --> 0:51:51.400 Yeah? 0:51:51.520 --> 0:51:53.759 I just feel like women need to know that, you know, 0:51:53.880 --> 0:51:56.480 you you do make friends as you go through life, 0:51:56.520 --> 0:51:58.839 like there, it's not like you just you make friends 0:51:58.880 --> 0:52:01.920 and then that part of your life it's yeah, yeah, 0:52:01.960 --> 0:52:04.480 and you have to be willing to, like, you know, 0:52:04.760 --> 0:52:07.000 do stuff that you don't want to do. Like I 0:52:07.040 --> 0:52:09.839 went mountain biking the other day. I mean, I didn't 0:52:09.840 --> 0:52:12.560 want to do that. No, I don't know what the 0:52:12.600 --> 0:52:13.759 point of me saying that is. 0:52:13.800 --> 0:52:14.239 But I. 0:52:15.800 --> 0:52:16.640 Bought my friends here. 0:52:16.719 --> 0:52:18.640 The snow is not that great, and they're like, let's 0:52:18.719 --> 0:52:21.000 I so I had my boat bike. I flew my 0:52:21.040 --> 0:52:23.160 bike up and then they were like, okay, we're gonna 0:52:23.440 --> 0:52:25.560 take you mountain biking now because this is what we 0:52:25.600 --> 0:52:28.040 do when the snow is gone. And I'm like okay, 0:52:28.239 --> 0:52:29.919 And then I went mountain biking. I'm like, I don't 0:52:29.960 --> 0:52:30.680 really think this. 0:52:30.560 --> 0:52:30.960 Is for me. 0:52:31.239 --> 0:52:34.799 No, I'm so adventurous, I know, but I'll do it 0:52:34.840 --> 0:52:35.840 again because whatever. 0:52:35.880 --> 0:52:37.359 It's like. My friends like to do that, so I'll 0:52:37.360 --> 0:52:37.960 do it with them. 0:52:38.000 --> 0:52:40.879 You know, like you want to be like malleable, you're 0:52:40.920 --> 0:52:43.680 not like rigid. I will only do this. I only 0:52:43.719 --> 0:52:45.440 like to do this. I hate when people are like that. 0:52:45.719 --> 0:52:48.359 Yeah, it's not. Some people have like friend groups since 0:52:48.400 --> 0:52:50.520 they were like in elementary school, which I was always 0:52:50.600 --> 0:52:51.120 jealous of. 0:52:51.239 --> 0:52:54.160 But then I was just gonna say that. Yeah, no, 0:52:54.320 --> 0:52:54.960 I have a friend. 0:52:55.120 --> 0:52:56.919 I have a friend who she and her nine friends 0:52:56.920 --> 0:52:59.480 have been friends their entire lives. They're like, they're all 0:52:59.480 --> 0:53:02.799 forty four and they've been together and it's so beautiful 0:53:02.840 --> 0:53:05.200 and nice. But they all have other groups of friends too. 0:53:05.560 --> 0:53:07.400 You have to. You have to. Yeah, I went to 0:53:07.440 --> 0:53:09.239 three different high schools, so I've always like. 0:53:09.239 --> 0:53:10.560 Well, we know why that happened. 0:53:11.640 --> 0:53:13.200 We're going to take a break and we'll be right 0:53:13.239 --> 0:53:20.600 back with Hannah and Paige. And we're back with Hannah 0:53:20.680 --> 0:53:25.160 and Paige. Page Disorbo and Hannah Berner wrote a new book. 0:53:25.200 --> 0:53:25.960 They wrote it together. 0:53:26.000 --> 0:53:28.319 They actually wrote the book together, which is called How 0:53:28.360 --> 0:53:31.040 to Giggle. And they're from the Giggly Squad, which is 0:53:31.120 --> 0:53:34.680 your podcast that everybody loves and everybody loves to giggle. 0:53:34.400 --> 0:53:37.439 And Chelsea, we were very inspired by your books. Yeah, 0:53:37.520 --> 0:53:37.959 your books. 0:53:38.000 --> 0:53:39.960 Well, I didn't see that when you shouted out to 0:53:40.040 --> 0:53:41.839 all of the icons in the book, I didn't see 0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:42.279 my name there. 0:53:42.280 --> 0:53:43.840 So that's funny. You're on the back cover. 0:53:43.960 --> 0:53:46.759 That's funny you say that I saw Barbara Corkoran on there, 0:53:47.360 --> 0:53:48.320 but I didn't see. 0:53:48.520 --> 0:53:51.360 Hannah's obsessed with Barbara Corkoran. 0:53:51.520 --> 0:53:55.520 It's I have her name referenced outside of that show ever, 0:53:57.120 --> 0:53:59.080 Barbara Kor talking about. 0:53:58.840 --> 0:54:02.279 This working alone, Chelsea, you have to have her on 0:54:02.320 --> 0:54:02.720 the pod. 0:54:04.239 --> 0:54:07.400 I have to find out who she is. Is she 0:54:07.520 --> 0:54:11.040 the blonde woman from Tank with the short hair? 0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:13.960 She's a pip. You would like her. But Chelsea, we 0:54:14.000 --> 0:54:15.719 got you to give a quote on the back. That 0:54:15.880 --> 0:54:18.200 was the only quote I wanted, was Chelsea, I. 0:54:18.120 --> 0:54:20.680 Don't know that because I got the book electronically. Hannah 0:54:20.800 --> 0:54:24.040 souk Off. Okay, so there is no quote from me 0:54:24.160 --> 0:54:25.440 anywhere to be found. 0:54:26.000 --> 0:54:27.640 Do you know what your quote is? Do you know 0:54:27.680 --> 0:54:28.080 what it is? 0:54:28.200 --> 0:54:28.839 What does it say? 0:54:28.920 --> 0:54:31.000 It says? I met them once. 0:54:30.880 --> 0:54:38.120 Chelsea, that was before I even met Paige. 0:54:39.680 --> 0:54:42.520 Yeah, one of them. 0:54:42.600 --> 0:54:46.319 One of them. I met half of them once I 0:54:46.360 --> 0:54:48.279 forgot I forgot what it was. 0:54:49.560 --> 0:54:52.000 Okay, well, Catherine, what else do we have we want 0:54:52.000 --> 0:54:53.160 to close up with some I do. 0:54:53.239 --> 0:54:56.000 Have one little quickie. If you're okay on time, gals, 0:54:56.200 --> 0:54:59.959 we'll hit it hard. So this comes from m She says, 0:55:00.040 --> 0:55:02.839 Dear Chelsea, I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. 0:55:03.160 --> 0:55:07.160 He's extremely attentive to my emotions, patient, passionate about his interests, 0:55:07.239 --> 0:55:11.520 driven and successful. Problem is he's a slob. Not only 0:55:11.600 --> 0:55:14.239 are the surfaces in his house always sticky, full of 0:55:14.280 --> 0:55:17.239 crumbs and cluttered, but he often forgets to shower after 0:55:17.280 --> 0:55:20.000 the gym and never puts the toilet seat down after peeing. 0:55:20.640 --> 0:55:22.880 In the beginning of our relationship, I didn't say anything, 0:55:22.920 --> 0:55:25.160 but after the first three months I spoke up about 0:55:25.160 --> 0:55:27.560 how I'd appreciate him cleaning up after himself some more 0:55:27.560 --> 0:55:30.120 when he's at my house. But it's fallen on deaf ears. 0:55:30.320 --> 0:55:33.160 I have to keep reminding him. It's frustrating to sometimes 0:55:33.200 --> 0:55:34.920 feel like I'm being a mom to him, but I 0:55:34.960 --> 0:55:37.279 can't not speak up when he's leaving the toilet seat 0:55:37.360 --> 0:55:40.520 up and leaving crumbs and messes everywhere he goes at 0:55:40.600 --> 0:55:42.560 least once a week. I WinCE when he tries to 0:55:42.600 --> 0:55:45.279 kiss me because of his stench. It's very unattractive. 0:55:46.200 --> 0:55:47.080 I love him a lot. 0:55:47.280 --> 0:55:50.080 He's emotionally mature in ways I've never seen in a man. 0:55:50.239 --> 0:55:52.879 But will his messiness and general lack of awareness about 0:55:52.960 --> 0:55:55.279 things that aren't emotional in nature break us up? 0:55:55.360 --> 0:55:56.560 It's never going to work. 0:55:56.520 --> 0:55:57.120 Should it? Am? 0:55:57.120 --> 0:56:03.640 I missus frustrated? It's over trained. Find a man who's 0:56:03.680 --> 0:56:04.280 pre trained. 0:56:04.360 --> 0:56:06.520 I'm not so gross. 0:56:06.680 --> 0:56:08.760 I once dated a guy who had a funky smell 0:56:08.840 --> 0:56:13.880 that came from his gut. I'm assuming, and he didn't 0:56:13.920 --> 0:56:17.560 smell at in the daytime or at night, but in 0:56:17.600 --> 0:56:20.000 the mornings, I was like, I can't deal with the smell. 0:56:20.200 --> 0:56:21.000 Like it was strong. 0:56:21.120 --> 0:56:26.760 It was like this his bio bio gnome mom, whatever 0:56:27.040 --> 0:56:30.440 whatever it was it was. It doesn't go away. Smells 0:56:30.440 --> 0:56:33.040 don't go away. When someone doesn't, he's like a It's 0:56:33.080 --> 0:56:34.880 like a feral cat. 0:56:34.920 --> 0:56:36.640 This guy. 0:56:37.640 --> 0:56:40.440 Also, I feel like nothing I'm married or like, wouldn't 0:56:40.480 --> 0:56:42.880 know when it's like living with someone or whatever. But 0:56:43.520 --> 0:56:45.960 I feel like it is those like little day to 0:56:46.120 --> 0:56:49.399 day things that like keep you together. So like yeah, 0:56:49.400 --> 0:56:53.279 he can be emotionally intelligent, but like he thinks, Yeah, 0:56:53.320 --> 0:56:53.600 and I. 0:56:53.520 --> 0:56:57.080 Care if he's ambitious. He's a literal skunk that's running 0:56:57.080 --> 0:56:58.240 wild in your apartment. 0:56:58.520 --> 0:57:01.160 Yeah, unless you're planning on removing your nose, Like you 0:57:01.239 --> 0:57:01.879 have to move on. 0:57:01.880 --> 0:57:03.120 And find a different partner. 0:57:03.320 --> 0:57:05.560 I also have a theory that you will fall in 0:57:05.560 --> 0:57:09.440 love with your your partner's natural scent and like you 0:57:09.560 --> 0:57:11.640 too have like a similar smell. I don't know I 0:57:11.680 --> 0:57:13.360 made that up, but I feel like it's a no. 0:57:13.440 --> 0:57:15.400 I think when you when it is, when there is 0:57:15.440 --> 0:57:17.479 good chemistry, then the smell is good. 0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:17.680 You. 0:57:18.200 --> 0:57:22.560 Yeah, what you smell is smells good to you when 0:57:22.760 --> 0:57:27.680 there is natural But clearly that's not working because he's Yeah. 0:57:27.040 --> 0:57:29.800 Like you get less UTIs and stuff with the right guy. 0:57:30.480 --> 0:57:33.360 Oh god, haranging uti right now. 0:57:33.480 --> 0:57:36.880 Yeah, that's kind of a thing where like sometimes you're 0:57:36.960 --> 0:57:39.560 like smells don't work together and like you got right 0:57:39.560 --> 0:57:42.360 know or whatever. I will also say, some of this 0:57:42.480 --> 0:57:45.320 smacks a little bit of undiagnosed ADHD, So like get 0:57:45.400 --> 0:57:48.480 him tested and get him on something and see if 0:57:48.480 --> 0:57:50.480 that changes. That might be your last ditch effort. 0:57:50.480 --> 0:57:53.720 Oh yeah, medicate him, Yeah, medicate him and then maybe 0:57:53.760 --> 0:57:54.960 he'll start wiping his ass. 0:57:55.360 --> 0:57:57.959 I mean maybe, who knows. And also like he doesn't 0:57:57.960 --> 0:58:02.640 get to kiss you if he hasn't showered, if he's stinky. 0:58:02.800 --> 0:58:04.920 I mean he could hire a cleaning lady. But the 0:58:05.040 --> 0:58:08.080 not showering thing, that's like, yeah, I don't know if 0:58:08.080 --> 0:58:09.240 you're changing that a person. 0:58:09.320 --> 0:58:11.800 Whenever we do advice, I always envision it's the same people. 0:58:11.840 --> 0:58:14.400 So like, this is the guy who started dating a 0:58:14.440 --> 0:58:16.800 new girl, and this new girl is calling it about 0:58:16.800 --> 0:58:17.680 how he smells. 0:58:18.240 --> 0:58:18.920 That's a great eye. 0:58:18.960 --> 0:58:22.800 That's a great idea for a podcast, actually, Hannah, Okay, well, 0:58:22.800 --> 0:58:25.720 that was an upsetting way to end this episode. 0:58:27.320 --> 0:58:30.480 That was not what we wanted to go out with. 0:58:30.560 --> 0:58:31.160 But that's okay. 0:58:31.240 --> 0:58:34.240 I think it's apropos for our guests today. 0:58:34.400 --> 0:58:34.720 Paige. 0:58:34.720 --> 0:58:36.480 I don't mean to be so cutting towards you. This 0:58:36.600 --> 0:58:38.080 is only directed towards Hannah. 0:58:38.120 --> 0:58:38.440 Okay. 0:58:39.000 --> 0:58:41.000 I don't know you well enough to treat you this way, 0:58:41.560 --> 0:58:45.680 so I just want you to know that is all. Hannah. 0:58:45.800 --> 0:58:49.160 No, it is such a privilege to get harassed by 0:58:49.240 --> 0:58:51.240 Chelsea Handler. I want to do it all day long. 0:58:51.400 --> 0:58:53.400 Do put your arms up for a sec will you please? 0:58:54.240 --> 0:58:56.840 Both arms? Both arms. 0:59:00.040 --> 0:59:04.160 There we go okay, and we're wrapped for today. Have 0:59:04.200 --> 0:59:06.280 a great day, girls, everybody. You can go get how 0:59:06.320 --> 0:59:09.240 to giggle at your local bookstore, local bookseller. 0:59:09.360 --> 0:59:13.800 Go buy your books and bookstores. People do do. 0:59:13.600 --> 0:59:19.520 Do do do drum roll, Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad. 0:59:19.720 --> 0:59:25.560 Abroad is my European tour. So I'm coming to obviously find. 0:59:25.320 --> 0:59:26.120 A husband abroad. 0:59:26.560 --> 0:59:29.720 I need to get the help out of this fucking country, 0:59:30.280 --> 0:59:33.080 and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm 0:59:33.080 --> 0:59:36.760 coming to Rekuvik. I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to 0:59:37.200 --> 0:59:41.480 the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast. 0:59:41.360 --> 0:59:42.400 In May and June. 0:59:42.480 --> 0:59:47.600 I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, 0:59:48.240 --> 0:59:52.960 New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, 0:59:53.240 --> 0:59:54.720 Barcelona and Lisbon. 0:59:55.640 --> 0:59:59.320 I'm coming abroad. Is abroad that sounds like fun. 0:59:59.320 --> 1:00:01.880 I'm gonna go see I I know I want to 1:00:01.920 --> 1:00:04.959 go see me abroad and there there, I'll be there. 1:00:04.960 --> 1:00:08.400 I'll be excellent. Do you want advice from Chelsea? 1:00:08.640 --> 1:00:12.120 Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find 1:00:12.160 --> 1:00:15.320 full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching 1:00:15.360 --> 1:00:19.200 at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered 1:00:19.200 --> 1:00:22.920 by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure 1:00:22.960 --> 1:00:26.760 to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com