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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Person Behind the Pads podcast, a chat

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Speaker 1: with the Colts Player about Live off the Grid iron

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Speaker 1: from inside the Indiana Union Construction Industry Radio Studio.

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Speaker 2: Welcome into another episode of the Person Behind the Pads

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Speaker 2: podcast here on the Colts Audio Network. I'm JJ Stankowitz,

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Speaker 2: joined today by DeForest Buckner, and I wanted to bring

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Speaker 2: you on, de Forest to talk about being a dad.

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Speaker 2: You're a dad of two boys. I'm a dad of

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Speaker 2: two boys. Tell me about the most dad thing that

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Speaker 2: you do since becoming a dad.

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Speaker 3: The most dad thing I do since being a dad.

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Speaker 2: So like for me, it's whenever I have people over

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Speaker 2: and I cook food for them and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's really good. If I got that food at Costco,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, guess where I got that food, And they'll

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Speaker 2: look at me like why would I, And I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I got it at Costco. So I'm like super proud

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Speaker 2: of that. I feel like that's like a real dad thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Honestly for me, I can't stick

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Speaker 3: anything on in particular, but uh, I would say, really

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Speaker 3: eating dinner with my kids probably the most dad thing

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Speaker 3: I do. Probably they have like a little both of

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Speaker 3: my boys sit like a little kid's table, and you know,

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Speaker 3: they got little chairs and everything, and so my wife

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Speaker 3: makes fun of me all the time that I choose

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Speaker 3: to eat dinner down there, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't see them throughout the day. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: a whole lot, you know, especially when we're in season

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Speaker 3: or even times now. You know, I'm obviously still half days,

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Speaker 3: but you know, you still miss a lot of that

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Speaker 3: time with them. So dinner time is when I can

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Speaker 3: really sit down with them, and you know, I have

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Speaker 3: a meal with them. So I sit down in one

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Speaker 3: of these some of these miniature chairs at the little table,

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Speaker 3: and sometimes I find myself sometimes just throughout the day,

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Speaker 3: it's such a habit. I eat majority of my meals

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Speaker 3: at that little table. Yeah, so it's probably one of

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Speaker 3: the most bad things I do.

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Speaker 2: Are what are your kids eating these days?

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Speaker 3: Anything and everything? Some of them, I mean, they could

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Speaker 3: be picky times, but a lot of like pizza, you know, pizza, chicken,

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Speaker 3: chicken tenders, chicken nuggets. We try to mix in some

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Speaker 3: veggies here and there, you know, but yeah, just the

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Speaker 3: basics stuff.

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Speaker 2: So tell me about your kids. You have a three

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Speaker 2: year old son and your second time. He's one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's one, he's just over one.

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Speaker 2: So what you're your three year old? What's he into?

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Speaker 3: He is big into, honesty. I mean, that kid just

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Speaker 3: goes here's a whole lot of energy. So he he

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Speaker 3: likes to pretty much do everything, you know. I try

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Speaker 3: to get him into all types of stuff. So, you know,

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Speaker 3: he's recently we've been taking him to the little bowling alley,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. He likes to try and

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Speaker 3: throw the bolt, you know, the bowling ball down the

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Speaker 3: aisle on the lane and everything. And he's really big

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Speaker 3: into that. I've been I got him his first set

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Speaker 3: of golf clubs, okay, so just helping him swing and everything.

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Speaker 3: So it's it's been it's been fun trying to trying

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Speaker 3: to get him into a little bit of everything. You know,

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Speaker 3: got a little basketball hoop at home, I mean, you know, baseball,

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Speaker 3: every you know, just anything that he can do. I mean,

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Speaker 3: the kid just likes to he likes to be outside. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: he's real active.

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Speaker 2: That's that's tough in the winter when definitely definitely you hit.

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Speaker 2: You hit mid December and we're getting toward the end

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Speaker 2: of the season.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we bought We bought a little, uh miniature

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Speaker 3: bounce house for the for the basement, so we can

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Speaker 3: just blow it up so he can just jump on,

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Speaker 3: you know, get his energy.

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Speaker 2: We have the exact same thing. Yeah, it's great. You

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Speaker 2: mentioned just the time away, you know, of the Being

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Speaker 2: a professional football player requires a lot of time, a

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Speaker 2: lot of commitment. I remember I had a conversation with

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Speaker 2: you last year about this in the locker room where

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Speaker 2: you're talking about it was the end of the end

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Speaker 2: of the season and you're talking about people don't understand

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Speaker 2: how much time it takes for you to get ready

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Speaker 2: for a game, you know, to take care of your body,

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Speaker 2: to you know, to eat right, to do all the

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Speaker 2: massage stuff. You know, how much time does it do

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Speaker 2: you find yourself feeling like, you know, I'd love to

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Speaker 2: spend more time with my kid, but I gotta do this, Like,

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Speaker 2: how do you balance being a professional athlete with being

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Speaker 2: a devoted dad that you are?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean specifically during the season, it's it's very difficult,

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Speaker 3: you know, obviously, to to be at the top, to

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Speaker 3: be at the top of your game and contribute the

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Speaker 3: way you want to contribute to the team. Obviously, you

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Speaker 3: have to invest and invest a lot of your time,

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Speaker 3: and definitely over the years has been challenging, you know,

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Speaker 3: trying to figure out, you know, those how much time

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Speaker 3: I can invest and how much time I can invest

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Speaker 3: in my kids obviously, and it's it's definitely challenging something

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Speaker 3: I'm still constantly working through, you know, you know, just

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Speaker 3: having like clear communication with my wife. That's the big

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Speaker 3: the biggest thing. You know, I'm planning, you know, planning

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Speaker 3: the days out of the weeks out or whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: you know when you know, obviously on my off days,

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Speaker 3: you know, you know, obviously got to take care of

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Speaker 3: my body as well. You know, off days sometimes really

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Speaker 3: not an off day, you know, because you're you're taking

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Speaker 3: care of your body, but also really finding that that

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Speaker 3: time to you know spend with you know, my my

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Speaker 3: kids and you know, being able to take my kids

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Speaker 3: to the park, you know what I mean, on my

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Speaker 3: off day or you know, picking them up from school

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Speaker 3: or whatever. It is, just making sure I'm inserting that

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Speaker 3: that time, you know, to that that FaceTime, that one

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Speaker 3: on one time you know with them, to to really

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Speaker 3: make up for the time obviously that I'm missing throughout

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Speaker 3: the season. So it's a it's challenging for sure, but

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Speaker 3: you know, just making sure I have clear communication with

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Speaker 3: my wife, you know, on everything that I'm doing, you know,

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Speaker 3: whether it's with the with the team, or you know,

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Speaker 3: obviously want to have free time and being able to,

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Speaker 3: you know, insert myself into the family dynamic when I

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Speaker 3: when I can.

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Speaker 2: When you do get those moments with your kids. How

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Speaker 2: much appreciation do you get for for everything your wife does.

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Speaker 3: I have a lot of appreciation, especially during the off season.

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Speaker 3: You know, the off season obviously I have a lot

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Speaker 3: more time and usually try to take a couple of

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Speaker 3: weeks off after the season. You know, obviously long season bodies,

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Speaker 3: bodies hurting, whatever it is, and to try to get

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Speaker 3: away and let my body heal and spend more quality

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Speaker 3: time with the family and you know, being at home,

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Speaker 3: you know, twenty four to seven. You know, it's a

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Speaker 3: full time job for my wife, and you know, just

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Speaker 3: seeing all the things that she has to do on

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Speaker 3: a day to day basis, you know, so it's a

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Speaker 3: it's a grind, you know what I mean, you don't

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Speaker 3: really expect it, and you know, just being being able

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Speaker 3: to experience that in the off season with her, you know,

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Speaker 3: we call it me being a stay at home dad. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's it's crazy. You know. I remember remember one night,

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Speaker 3: you know, it was a full day and we get

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Speaker 3: done and you know, we're sitting, we're just getting in

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Speaker 3: bed and I just give this big side. She's like,

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Speaker 3: you're all right. I'm like, we got to do this

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Speaker 3: all over tomorrow, you know, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: And she started laughing. You know, she's like, yeah, that's me,

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Speaker 3: you know, nine months out of the year, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I just I just turned aroundm like, I appreciate you, you know,

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Speaker 3: just all the sacrifices that you make. So it is,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's it's it's it's hard, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean. But I mean it's it's fun.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 3: You know, these moments in the off season, I try

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Speaker 3: to just live in the moment, be present, just because

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Speaker 3: you know, I miss a lot of those little moments.

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Speaker 3: You know sometime, you know, I shoot, I missed my firstborn,

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Speaker 3: you know, his first steps, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't there, you know what I mean. Uh So

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Speaker 3: it's it's little things like that. You know, you don't

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Speaker 3: get those moments back, you know what I mean. They

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Speaker 3: just become memory. So I just got to live in

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Speaker 3: the moment.

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Speaker 2: I think that's really good though, to to talk about

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Speaker 2: being intentional about being present when you are with your kids,

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Speaker 2: because that's something I know I've struggled with sometimes. I

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Speaker 2: like when they're throwing a tantruom or they're they're not

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Speaker 2: listening to you, yeah, and you're just kind of like

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Speaker 2: like that, but you don't get you don't get those

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Speaker 2: moments back. They're not gonna be three, they're not gonna

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Speaker 2: be one forever. And I think that's just really good

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Speaker 2: advice for anyone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean. And it's it's, you know,

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Speaker 3: something constantly that I'm constantly working on, you know, because

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Speaker 3: you know we've all been there. If you have kids,

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Speaker 3: you know, your full days of work and tired, you're exhausted,

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Speaker 3: and you come home and you know you're whether your

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Speaker 3: kids are ready to play and ready to go and

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Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I got to find this, you know,

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Speaker 3: second first day energy to keep going. Or it's you know,

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Speaker 3: you're you know you have you know, you're you're at home,

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Speaker 3: you're having a good time and your kids are throwing

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Speaker 3: tantrums and you're like, oh, like, I don't feel like

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Speaker 3: dealing with this one now, whatever it is. I mean,

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Speaker 3: you just have to, you know, just be in the

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Speaker 3: moment and you know, I mean, enjoy that time with

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Speaker 3: them because you're never going to get it back. And

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Speaker 3: so that's definitely something I've been, you know, consistently working

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Speaker 3: on and making sure that I am present for them.

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Speaker 2: This is something I've always thought about. It's like you, especially,

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Speaker 2: I mean, anyone who becomes a dad, you spend your

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Speaker 2: whole life working toward being great at the thing you

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Speaker 2: do your job, right, You spend your whole life, you know,

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Speaker 2: working at being great at football. I try to spend

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Speaker 2: my whole life being great at writing and reporting and

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Speaker 2: all those things. And then you become a dad and

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Speaker 2: it's like you get nine eight months of training that

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Speaker 2: isn't really on the job training, and all of a

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Speaker 2: sudden you have to take care of this life. It's

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Speaker 2: almost disorienting the first the first couple of years, but

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Speaker 2: when you start feeling like you're doing things that are

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Speaker 2: really benefiting your kid, there's no more rewarding feeling in

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Speaker 2: the world to come out of that.

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Speaker 3: Definitely not. I mean, it's nothing comparison for me. I

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Speaker 3: mean it's my two kids. I mean, they're the greatest

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Speaker 3: accomplishment I've ever you know, I've ever had. So just yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean I'm you know, I we were just talking

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Speaker 3: about it. Actually I'm in a group, but I just

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Speaker 3: being an all pro dad, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: that's the goal, you know what I'm saying. I mean,

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Speaker 3: you're constantly working to be an all pro dad, and

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Speaker 3: you know, just just like when you're trying to be

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Speaker 3: all pro on the field, each trying to be all

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Speaker 3: pro off the field. And uh, that's I mean, that's

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Speaker 3: that'll be the greatest compliment accomplishment for me, you know

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Speaker 3: when I'm when it's all said and done and I'm done,

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Speaker 3: and my kids are growing up and they look at

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Speaker 3: me and they're like, you know, I mean you're just

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Speaker 3: a You're a great father, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: That's that's all I want. Yeah, And so that's what

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Speaker 3: I'm shoving for each and every day they know you

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Speaker 3: as dad, not to Forest Buckling exactly. Yeah, definitely, How.

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Speaker 2: Does being a dad? How do you connect with other

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Speaker 2: dads in the locker room? You know, like you got

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Speaker 2: pits a dad obviously, you know you got some other

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Speaker 2: dads in there, Like you talk about being an all

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Speaker 2: pro dad, Like, how do how does that allow for

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Speaker 2: some connections in the locker room?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Man, it creates a lot of great connections, you know,

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Speaker 3: just because I mean you're not obviously guys are in there.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, they're they're all going, we're all

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Speaker 3: we're all human beings. We all go through our own

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Speaker 3: struggles or whatever it is, and and throughout the season

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Speaker 3: we could really you know, lean back and rely on

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Speaker 3: each other. I mean, shoot, if something comes up and

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Speaker 3: you know, we're all of our kids are different ages.

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Speaker 3: So if we're experiencing so you know, trying to figure

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Speaker 3: out navigate the dad world or the parent world and

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Speaker 3: you know certain you know, stages of where our kids

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Speaker 3: are at, we can you know, just run things by

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Speaker 3: each other, like, hey, you know when when so you

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Speaker 3: know when when your child was was this age? Like

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Speaker 3: what did you guys? Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Just bouncing ideas off of each other. Oh, constantly trying

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Speaker 3: to you know, get ideas off of each other and

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Speaker 3: how we can parent better and little things like that.

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Speaker 3: So it definitely goes a long way having having guys

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Speaker 3: in the same boat. As you and because you because

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Speaker 3: I mean you're on the same stress you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're you're you know, your whole you know,

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Speaker 3: nine months out of the year basically, you know, you're

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Speaker 3: you're spending a lot of your time in the locker

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Speaker 3: room with the guys, doing your job and you know,

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Speaker 3: trying to figure out the dad world along along the

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Speaker 3: way throughout that season. And uh, you know, it's just

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Speaker 3: great to have guys in the same boat.

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Speaker 2: Because I mean, your experience as a dad who plays

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Speaker 2: football is different then, I mean it's different than my

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Speaker 2: experience as you know, a dad who works here for

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Speaker 2: the colts. Like the stuff that you guys have to

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Speaker 2: do to play football and then on top of it,

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Speaker 2: be a dad is something that only other people in

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Speaker 2: that locker room I'm sure can really understand.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, yeah, it's it could definitely be. Uh, definitely a

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Speaker 3: tough tough world to navigate, for sure.

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Speaker 2: What are some snacks that you've rediscovered since you've had kids, Like,

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Speaker 2: for me, it's goldfish. I didn't eat goldfish for like

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Speaker 2: thirty years yea, and then I had kids, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: these things are great.

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Speaker 3: No, yeah, definitely go Goldfish is definitely number one right now,

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Speaker 3: both of my kids are all over that stuff. Uh

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Speaker 3: just a little apple sauce packets. Yeah, the apple sauce package.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I haven't had apple sauce and I don't know how long.

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Speaker 3: So that little apple sauce packets. I'd say popsicles. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: popsicles for sure. Uh, there's a couple on there. I

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Speaker 3: know there are, I mean just there they They snack

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Speaker 3: twenty four to seven little fruit snacks for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, fruit snacks. Those are big, I mean because yeah,

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Speaker 2: your kids are just snacking exactly all the time.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, especially my little one.

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Speaker 2: So you're a one year old, Yeah, he where is

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Speaker 2: he right now? Like in terms of he's taken his

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Speaker 2: first steps?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's running around right now. I'm been trying

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Speaker 3: to keep up with his older brother. But uh, you know,

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Speaker 3: he he's I would say, he's about he's he's like

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Speaker 3: fifteen months. Yeah, so he's getting to that age where

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Speaker 3: he's you know, he's starting to get a little bit

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Speaker 3: of personality, which is uh, I love that age. You know,

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Speaker 3: just trying to starting to show a little bit of personality.

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Speaker 3: You can kind of tell who they take after you.

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Speaker 3: Know what I mean, your wife or yourself, and it's

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Speaker 3: always fun to see them, you know, obviously growing to

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Speaker 3: that personality.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, who does he take after?

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Speaker 3: I would say my second one more, more and more

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Speaker 3: after me. Okay, sure, yeah, my first one's I mean

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Speaker 3: he's more like my wife for sure. I mean just

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Speaker 3: a ball of energy.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that cool? Just how like two kids that come

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Speaker 2: from the same parents can just be different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally different, definitely. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: What what shows are your kids into? Like, what do

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Speaker 2: they watch on the TV shows? Coco Melon yep, yep,

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Speaker 2: a lot of cocon melon. My first one was big

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Speaker 2: and a blippy yep. But now it's the second one,

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Speaker 2: Miss Rachel really yeah, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: Miss Rachel. Uh my, oh we so we took we

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Speaker 3: took them to Disney Disneyland during the off season, and

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Speaker 3: we we took my older one on the Rise of

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Speaker 3: Resistance ride and that was probably his favorite ride. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and so like he randomly just he'll be like Star Wars,

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Speaker 3: Star Wars. So you know, on Disney Plus Day, I

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Speaker 3: got some of those kid Star Wars shows. I'll put

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Speaker 3: those on for him sometimes, and I mean he loves it. Uh. Shoot,

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Speaker 3: there's there's a whole bunch of show me, Paul Patrol,

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Speaker 3: I can go on the list.

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Speaker 2: What's your what's your least favorite blippy song? There's some

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Speaker 2: bad ones.

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Speaker 3: There are some I can't even tell I can't tell

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Speaker 3: you right now. Yeah. I try to try to tune

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Speaker 3: it out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we try, and then we get yelled at,

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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, I'm listening to the

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Speaker 2: Monster Truck song straight time. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: What about being a dad? You know, you talk about

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Speaker 2: the fulfillment you get from it and you want to

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Speaker 2: be an all pro dad. What about it for you?

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Speaker 2: I know, your experience with your dad where he had

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Speaker 2: the accident when you were a kid. Yeah, how did

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Speaker 2: that shape you into the dad you are now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Shoot, I kind of had to kind of grow

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Speaker 3: up and mature at a young age, for sure. It

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Speaker 3: definitely helped me mature a lot more going you know,

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Speaker 3: going into high school and and all that, and just

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Speaker 3: that that experience alone that I, you know, I had

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Speaker 3: to my family had to go through and everything. It

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Speaker 3: just it just shows you that, you know, you can

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Speaker 3: never take a day for granted for sure, you know.

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Speaker 3: And you know my dad would would tell us that,

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Speaker 3: you know, he he got a second chance, you know

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Speaker 3: what being a dad and a little things like that.

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Speaker 3: So I always think about that experience. You know, it's

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Speaker 3: a life learning experience. And I'm just you know, as

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Speaker 3: as a being a father, you know, each and every day,

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Speaker 3: I just I can't take it for granted, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. I mean every like, like I said, like,

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Speaker 3: I'm practicing and I'm not. I'm not great at it,

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Speaker 3: but I want to be is practicing at being being

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Speaker 3: in the moment when you know, when I have those

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Speaker 3: moments with my kids, just cherishing every moment and being

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Speaker 3: present and you know, just he's doing everything that I can,

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Speaker 3: you know, to raise them the right way.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think all you can do is a dad,

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Speaker 2: is give your best effort and love your kids right exactly.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, definitely, I mean that's all you can do

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Speaker 3: is love them un conditionally.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good place to end it. The Forest

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Speaker 2: Puckner thanks for joining us here on the Person Behind

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Speaker 2: the Pads podcast.

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Speaker 3: Appreciate you. Jjy