WEBVTT - Code Switching

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it really bothers me that using the proper

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<v Speaker 1>command of the King's language is only associated with educated

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<v Speaker 1>white people. That really bothers.

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<v Speaker 2>Me, I know, because for me, it's like, if there's

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<v Speaker 2>a time and place for everything, is it really codeswitch.

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<v Speaker 1>Dead ass? It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest

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<v Speaker 1>and straight from the heart. Since then, we've gone on

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<v Speaker 1>to become Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times

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<v Speaker 1>bestselling authors.

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<v Speaker 2>That ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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<v Speaker 2>was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 1>Be wraw or but most apportly be us.

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<v Speaker 2>But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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<v Speaker 2>and through it all, one thing has never changed.

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<v Speaker 3>This is.

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<v Speaker 2>Because we got a lot to talk about.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry time, I'm gonna take y'all back to August two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand and ten, the month, yes, August t ten. The

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<v Speaker 1>reason why I remember is because I had just come

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<v Speaker 1>back from Oh matter of fact, it was August two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand and nine, and I had just got cut from

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<v Speaker 1>the Cleveland Browns. I had went back to Hastra for

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<v Speaker 1>I went back to visit just to see how football

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<v Speaker 1>was going during the summertime, and I ran into what's

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<v Speaker 1>his name that worked for NBA TV, Jared Greenberg I

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<v Speaker 1>worked in. I walked into Jared Greenburg and Jared was

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<v Speaker 1>just like, hey, Davao, are you interested in doing TV?

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<v Speaker 1>I know you used to do radio for me. You

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<v Speaker 1>talk a lot, You're a funny guy. And I was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm interested in doing some television. At the time, he

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<v Speaker 1>had no clue that I wanted to get into TV film,

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<v Speaker 1>so I saw this as an opportunity. So he was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>they have a job as a sideline reporter for MSG

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<v Speaker 1>varsity if you're interested. So I was like bet. He

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<v Speaker 1>took me into the office. We did a sideline, a report,

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<v Speaker 1>a video on a green screen. He pitched it to

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<v Speaker 1>his people, but they were just like, oh, we loved Viowe.

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<v Speaker 1>They hired me. Boom. So now I have a job

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<v Speaker 1>as a signline reporter for high school football for Brooklyn

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<v Speaker 1>Long Island Stotton Island. And I did my first game.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember my first game. It was Erasmus Verse Lincoln

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<v Speaker 1>back Home and back Home, and I remember it coming

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<v Speaker 1>on TV and you sat there and you watched it.

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<v Speaker 1>I did, and you smirked, and I was like, what

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<v Speaker 1>do you think? And you was like terrible, And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like what and you was just like, you took

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<v Speaker 1>four years of voice addiction classes.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that was part of the four part.

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<v Speaker 1>Of Yeah, but we had to take voice every year.

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<v Speaker 1>And you were like, why the hell do you sound

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<v Speaker 1>so Brooklyn? And I was just like, to be honest,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't realize. I just wanted to give my personality

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<v Speaker 1>give a little. And he was like, no, that's not

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<v Speaker 1>how this works. Someone comes to the number one rule

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<v Speaker 1>you said to being a reporter or news don't become

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<v Speaker 1>the story, so you can't input yourself in the story.

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<v Speaker 1>And you had me practice on changing my dialect to

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<v Speaker 1>say the end of my words and not you so

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<v Speaker 1>much slang. And you know what that job ended up. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we know what that ended up happening. Tell them I

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<v Speaker 1>ended up getting in studio analyst job.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure did. And he was sitting there with the anchors

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<v Speaker 2>and reporting and doing such a great job. I remember

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<v Speaker 2>watching it when you finally hit the desk and I

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<v Speaker 2>was just like, dang, like he really just took that time.

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<v Speaker 2>And you didn't get offended. You were like no, you

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<v Speaker 2>were just like, yo, help me get better, help me learn,

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<v Speaker 2>And you know what that did that freed up a

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<v Speaker 2>spot for you girls, and I ended up on the sideline.

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<v Speaker 1>While I was in studio analyst and doing I once

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<v Speaker 1>do all alone, y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>That was the plan all along. Now, who knew that

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<v Speaker 2>was going to happen, but it was great that it did.

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<v Speaker 2>And we had a couple of games that we would

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<v Speaker 2>go into work together. So we've been working together a

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<v Speaker 2>long time. We have had several jobs together and several

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<v Speaker 2>jobs separately. But that's crazy. It just made me think

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<v Speaker 2>about that.

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta go back on my Instagram. There are pictures

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<v Speaker 1>of us at the same games at Hofstra where you

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<v Speaker 1>did sideline reporting and I did on in studio analysts

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<v Speaker 1>and Playboy player.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely and see. The funny thing at the time was

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't really understand some of like the technicalities behind

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<v Speaker 2>the sport. So I would have to like call you

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes to be like, all right, babe, what just happened?

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<v Speaker 2>Which coach I got to interview?

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<v Speaker 3>I ask?

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<v Speaker 1>I would like, grab grab that coach, Grab the Uniondale coach,

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<v Speaker 1>day up, grab the Farmingdale coach they lose, and leave

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<v Speaker 1>them alone.

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<v Speaker 2>Because sports reporting is a different kind of reporting, you

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<v Speaker 2>have to have some sort of you know, understanding of

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<v Speaker 2>the game. So I was learning as I went. But

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<v Speaker 2>we did. We did mad things together. Bro dap me up.

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<v Speaker 1>Karaoke. This song seems to fit perfectly. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>the whole song, Okay, I only know the beginning of

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<v Speaker 1>the song of my favorite TV shows.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell me what we got.

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<v Speaker 1>Since we're talking about code switching, I think it only

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<v Speaker 1>makes sense that we go here, Okay, then then then

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<v Speaker 1>then then.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not on You use your walk to me, it's

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<v Speaker 4>not unusual. Walk to something else, and when.

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<v Speaker 2>I see you out, it's not on usual.

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<v Speaker 1>Shout out to my man, Carlton Banks bro Right.

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<v Speaker 2>The original code switcher, I mean didn't even really switch.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he was stuck.

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<v Speaker 1>He was stuck. He didn't co switch. But there was

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<v Speaker 1>an episode where they went to l A to go

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<v Speaker 1>to Magarthur Park. Yes, and he cold switched to be

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<v Speaker 1>with the homies. Yes, and then they liked him more

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<v Speaker 1>than they like Will and will ain't like it. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's a very important episode. Especially in the nineties

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<v Speaker 1>we're dealing with cold switching. They were calling Carlton a sellout.

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<v Speaker 1>It's important that we talk about this today because we

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<v Speaker 1>want to talk about cold switching a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Sounds good, bro. I guess we should go pay some

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<v Speaker 2>bills and come back and we'll get into the meat

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<v Speaker 2>of the show. Stick around, y'all.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we're back, We're back.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time for Vow's favorite part of the show.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes or no?

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<v Speaker 5>Op?

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<v Speaker 2>All right, what we got today?

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<v Speaker 6>Charibel Well In the news in April, it was announced

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<v Speaker 6>that the Academy, the Academy, the Oscars, folks, they are

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<v Speaker 6>now requiring Academy voters to watch the films before they

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<v Speaker 6>vote for them.

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<v Speaker 2>The keyword that Trippi said, y'all, now, yeah, they are now,

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<v Speaker 2>So you mean to tell me this whole time, people

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<v Speaker 2>weren't watching all the films.

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<v Speaker 6>After one hundred years, they did not require them to

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<v Speaker 6>watch the films. They said, they were basing it on

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<v Speaker 6>the honor system. Of course, if you're in the Academy,

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<v Speaker 6>you're a voter, you want to.

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<v Speaker 5>Watch the films. But I think that some of the people.

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<v Speaker 6>A lot of the people in the Academy were maybe

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<v Speaker 6>too busy making films or making money off of films

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<v Speaker 6>to watch the films.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you're making films, investing in films, and then

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<v Speaker 2>you're now voting on films. So they were voting off

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<v Speaker 2>of vibes. Yeah, vibe forever their money. That's insanity.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, that's what I think.

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<v Speaker 6>Conan O'Brien said that, he was like voting, we vote

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<v Speaker 6>our vibes in this country, so we.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't in this country. That's an absolute fact. Not just listen.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a quick opinion about it. We have to

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<v Speaker 1>be more careful with who we give our standard of excellence,

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<v Speaker 1>right because we provided them with the standard of excellence,

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<v Speaker 1>saying that we all want to aspire to be that,

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<v Speaker 1>only to find out that they didn't give a ship. Really,

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<v Speaker 1>they were just voting off vibes. So it's like this

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<v Speaker 1>whole time, for one hundred years, we said this was

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<v Speaker 1>the pinnacle of excellence. Come to find out that they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't even treat it as the pinnacle of excellence. But

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<v Speaker 1>that speaks more to us. Why do we always say

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<v Speaker 1>that their version of excellence.

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<v Speaker 2>Is what we aspire to?

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<v Speaker 1>So now they know because now for a hundred years,

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<v Speaker 1>I got to look back at all of these films

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<v Speaker 1>and be like, was that really the best film of

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<v Speaker 1>the year? You see what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of time was.

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<v Speaker 1>The Golden statue has lost in a lot of his gold.

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<v Speaker 3>Now that was.

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<v Speaker 1>Bronze to me.

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<v Speaker 3>You just watching when somebody else.

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<v Speaker 1>Likes Yeah, it's just it's it kind of lost it

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<v Speaker 1>for me. That's my opinion is that I feel like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, not, and not only just for black creatives,

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<v Speaker 1>for everyone. First of all, the people who vote as

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<v Speaker 1>like ninety eight percent white, so automatically you know they're

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<v Speaker 1>not watching many films of color. Let's just be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>So how do you vote for a film that you

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<v Speaker 1>don't even watch? You just look at and say, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, Meryl Street was in this, I'll go it's solid.

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<v Speaker 1>Daniel day Lewis was in that one. Yeah, let me

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<v Speaker 1>Tom Hanks here, let me throw that there.

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<v Speaker 7>Well, my theory that should work. But Steven Spielberg directed

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<v Speaker 7>Color Purple, nominated eleven times and then win.

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<v Speaker 1>Once because it was called The Color I know.

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<v Speaker 7>That said what I'm saying, My theory, it should work

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<v Speaker 7>by you seeing Stephen Stephen, Steven Spielberg's name, true, you check,

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<v Speaker 7>oh yeah, oh that movie.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah, So at least they read. They might not have

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<v Speaker 1>watched the movie, but they read the synopsis, and then

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<v Speaker 1>that was when they chose.

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<v Speaker 2>My opinion is that it's fucking ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 7>Opinion is.

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<v Speaker 3>Like that, I got an opinion, and I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, there you go.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't catch on camera next time. My opinion is,

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<v Speaker 3>here's the thing, right, we got doctors who prescribe prescriptions

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<v Speaker 3>for us all the time. Can you imagine if they

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<v Speaker 3>prescribe those prescriptions without even looking at our symptoms or whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>This is equivalent to that just picking stuff just based

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<v Speaker 3>off of I feel like this today, and I like

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<v Speaker 3>this today, so I'm gonna just do this what I

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<v Speaker 3>feel like.

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<v Speaker 7>They might do that already, that the whole medical market.

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<v Speaker 2>What it needs to be pushed. What's that new drug?

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<v Speaker 3>A Keademy Wars of the United States pretty much?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I got you. I mean, it's it's everything.

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<v Speaker 2>They have a gold step.

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<v Speaker 1>We talked about this Withers like, how do they choose

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<v Speaker 1>who gets picked in the draft? When we talked about

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<v Speaker 1>what Shador Sanders like, what was the criteria? We don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>They moved the goalpost every time every year.

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<v Speaker 3>So, I mean the draft is a little bit different

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<v Speaker 3>because you're picking based off your personal needs as a team,

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<v Speaker 3>like your team needs I do a bit different.

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<v Speaker 1>It is a little bit different. It is a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit different, but I will say this, you are drafting

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<v Speaker 1>with a purpose and also to send a message, and

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<v Speaker 1>you can also not draft or draft somebody to send

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<v Speaker 1>a message.

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<v Speaker 3>True, So I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think it's it's kind of symbol.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I like what you said about our standard of

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<v Speaker 6>excellence being compared to somebody else.

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<v Speaker 5>We're talking about code switching today.

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<v Speaker 6>And for me that brought up this. The biggest movie

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<v Speaker 6>right now is Sinners. Ryan Coogler one of the best directors.

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<v Speaker 5>I think.

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<v Speaker 6>When I went to see Wakinda forever, I made a

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<v Speaker 6>video saying that somebody needs to give Ryan some pussy

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<v Speaker 6>today and every day.

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<v Speaker 5>Was so good because he's.

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<v Speaker 6>It was amazing and I hope that he's getting some

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<v Speaker 6>pussy after Centners came out, because it opened with forty

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<v Speaker 6>eight million dollars, it only dropped six percent in the

0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:16.360
<v Speaker 6>second weekend, which is a low drive for a horror film.

0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:18.760
<v Speaker 6>But before the movie came out, there was a video

0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:22.079
<v Speaker 6>of Ryan that was circulating online where he was talking

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.640
<v Speaker 6>about all the viewing options for the film. So it's

0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.520
<v Speaker 6>the first horror film to be filmed simultaneously in imax

0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:34.600
<v Speaker 6>and seventy millimeter and so there's like seven different viewing options,

0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.480
<v Speaker 6>and he was talking about all of these technical aspects

0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.400
<v Speaker 6>of film. But he talking like a nigga from Oakland,

0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.720
<v Speaker 6>you know. He like, first of all, I won't charge

0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.000
<v Speaker 6>she what was happening? Like, you know what I'm saying, Like,

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:50.040
<v Speaker 6>do you know how California dudes talk? Which, to me,

0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.720
<v Speaker 6>that was amazing to see a black man talking like

0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.440
<v Speaker 6>a black man talking about something that a lot of

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.079
<v Speaker 6>people don't think black men can do.

0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 5>Yes, so I want to know, do you have no eye?

0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Man? That's a good one. The only thing I say,

0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.440
<v Speaker 1>the only issue I have is the fact that, like

0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:10.640
<v Speaker 1>you said, a black man speaking like a black man,

0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.600
<v Speaker 1>like black men are not monolithic. And the only way

0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:19.120
<v Speaker 1>I hate the fact that people relate blackness to where

0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.560
<v Speaker 1>they grew up, which means like, for example, he grew

0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.840
<v Speaker 1>up in the hood, so it's like your blackness is

0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.280
<v Speaker 1>only to the hood, like I'm from Brooklyn, which means

0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.240
<v Speaker 1>that the minute I stopped talking like I was from

0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 1>Flatbush and I stopped talking gutter, I lost my blackness

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:32.480
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. You know what I'm saying.

0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:33.959
<v Speaker 5>I'll push back on that.

0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:37.200
<v Speaker 6>I think that there is a such thing as a

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:41.080
<v Speaker 6>black vernacular wherever you're from. White people from Brooklyn don't

0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 6>sound like you. So it's not that all black people

0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.400
<v Speaker 6>talk this way. Is that nobody else speaks that way?

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I disagree because I wanted to ask what was what's

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:50.960
<v Speaker 1>black vernacular?

0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.559
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I don't know, but I know that slang that's

0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:57.960
<v Speaker 7>used in New York. I know how your accent. It

0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:01.400
<v Speaker 7>doesn't matter your skin or what. I know. White people are,

0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.000
<v Speaker 7>Italian people know every culture that can sound like a

0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.200
<v Speaker 7>real New Yorker from the hood, no matter what you

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:06.520
<v Speaker 7>look like.

0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.000
<v Speaker 6>I think New York has an accent people white people

0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.560
<v Speaker 6>from New York have an accent, but it still does

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:13.439
<v Speaker 6>not sound the same I hear.

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.600
<v Speaker 2>And I'm a West Indian from New York, so sometimes

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 2>I sound like mosh pit of things.

0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I just think it's I think it's problematic when you

0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 1>say someone don't sound black, because then it's like, if

0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:26.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm black and I speak how I speak, you're telling

0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 1>me I don't speak how I look because I don't

0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:31.000
<v Speaker 1>sound like the rest of y'all's. That's projecting that I

0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.320
<v Speaker 1>have to sound like y'all in order to own my blackness.

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:35.719
<v Speaker 1>That's the only thing I push you back on. It's

0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.079
<v Speaker 1>like I wouldn't say he sounds black. I would say

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.679
<v Speaker 1>he sounds like he's from Oakland and he was born

0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 1>and he's from that area. But have to say he

0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.640
<v Speaker 1>sounds black. I think that to me is I think.

0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.880
<v Speaker 2>There can still be an eloquence around speaking like where

0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 2>you're from, like people can still understand you. So my

0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.680
<v Speaker 2>thing with Ryan is like I think he's super brilliant.

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.079
<v Speaker 2>I think that he has amazing knowledge about this stuff,

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.200
<v Speaker 2>and I'm listening to him talk about all these different films,

0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:00.719
<v Speaker 2>but it's sometimes just hard to understand what. I never

0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:03.440
<v Speaker 2>thought like, oh, this black man can't speak well. It

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.040
<v Speaker 2>was more like I don't understand where he comes from.

0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.520
<v Speaker 2>That accent, you know, I wait it to.

0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:10.080
<v Speaker 1>Ed.

0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:11.920
<v Speaker 2>It just sounds like where he's from.

0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:15.400
<v Speaker 1>He's just he's not eloquent, right, right, like like certain

0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.760
<v Speaker 1>people are eloquent. For example, you listen to Barack Obama speak,

0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.760
<v Speaker 1>and you can just listen to him speak because the

0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:23.920
<v Speaker 1>way he speaks, the way he puts words together, he

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.640
<v Speaker 1>doesn't stutter, he doesn't have long gaps in between right,

0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 1>and he speaks well. We study oratory. There's a way

0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.720
<v Speaker 1>you are told to speak in oratory classes in order

0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 1>to captivate.

0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.480
<v Speaker 2>It like a cadence about how you speak. Jay Z,

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.480
<v Speaker 2>for example, jay Z speaks eloquently I think, but he's

0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 2>from Brooklyn and I can tell he's from Brooklyn, you

0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 2>know what I'm saying. So it doesn't necessarily equates to you.

0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.480
<v Speaker 2>That's a good point education versus where you're coming from.

0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 2>It's just like Brian. Sometimes it be like Ryan, I

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:49.840
<v Speaker 2>want to like he didn't want his back by Ryan,

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 2>get it out, broke, get it out. I can't get

0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:52.360
<v Speaker 2>to the point.

0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, who's the other film making us from Oakland?

0:14:55.040 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Who is Oh my gosh, I I don't know why

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:04.560
<v Speaker 1>it's escaping me. But my point is that everybody from

0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 1>Oakland doesn't speak like Ryan Coogler. You know what I'm saying.

0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.680
<v Speaker 1>It's like everybody from Brooklyn don't speak like Daval you

0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:12.000
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying. I just don't want to put

0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 1>that on all black men, that if you get on

0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.560
<v Speaker 1>camera you have to sound like where I'm from, or

0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.880
<v Speaker 1>else you lose your blackness. That's my that's just my

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 1>only here's.

0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:24.320
<v Speaker 6>My pushback to that. You know Tom Hanks's son, Chad Hanks.

0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.800
<v Speaker 6>Have you heard him do his Jamaican accent.

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 1>And what would you say, he sounds Jamaican. Okay, you

0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 1>don't sound black, but Jamaican's are white too and Asian.

0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:35.800
<v Speaker 5>But he's not Jamaican.

0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>That's a poor example though, But you said he sounds Jamaican.

0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:46.680
<v Speaker 6>What about you've heard the rapper g Eazy, No, you

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:48.520
<v Speaker 6>know the other white rapper, what's his name?

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 5>The curly hair guy.

0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.440
<v Speaker 6>If a white person came up to you and they

0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:57.240
<v Speaker 6>started talking to you like you speak, well, you wouldn't

0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:57.640
<v Speaker 6>say anything.

0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.560
<v Speaker 5>You'd be like, why are you you talking black?

0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Like that's no, this is my thing. I think that

0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:05.920
<v Speaker 1>that's often a projecting from projection from people. I never

0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 1>like to put on people that you sound black or

0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.160
<v Speaker 1>you sound white, because I hated feeling like growing up

0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:13.400
<v Speaker 1>in Brooklyn. When I started to go to different schools,

0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.440
<v Speaker 1>they would say, you sound like a white boy. So

0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:17.440
<v Speaker 1>part of part of me pushing back on that is

0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.120
<v Speaker 1>also my own personal experiences, like you can't tell me

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 1>I sound like a white boy because I don't sound

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.360
<v Speaker 1>like you. I'm black and I'm from Brooklyn. I sound

0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.800
<v Speaker 1>how I sound. So my version of blackness sounds like this,

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.080
<v Speaker 1>and I just don't want everybody to put that on him, like, oh,

0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 1>he sound black. It's like, no, he sounds like Ryan.

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. There are black people from

0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 1>Oakland who don't sound like Ryan Coogler, and what we're

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.800
<v Speaker 1>gonna say about them they don't sound black. That's the thing.

0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:43.960
<v Speaker 1>I just don't. I want to push back on that, Ilack.

0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:45.840
<v Speaker 1>This cannot be associated with one sound.

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:47.760
<v Speaker 3>I would agree with you, but Ryan sounds black.

0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:50.680
<v Speaker 6>Bro Right, if he called you on the phone, you

0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.720
<v Speaker 6>would be like, this is a black man on the phone.

0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:55.000
<v Speaker 5>We know what sounding black means.

0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 7>You would as soon as a point.

0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 6>We don't think that everybody, every black person has to

0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.040
<v Speaker 6>sound a certain way, but we absolute know that sounding

0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.880
<v Speaker 6>black is a thing and we know what it means.

0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Once again though, once again though, right, we're talking about

0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.879
<v Speaker 1>our experience. You put Ryan Cooler on the phone with

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.119
<v Speaker 1>a white person from Indonesia, He's not gonna say that

0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.640
<v Speaker 1>person sounds black. He's not even gonna know what they're saying.

0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.840
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying. Everything we know comes from our perspective.

0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.280
<v Speaker 1>So we know that he sounds black because we've heard

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 1>black people around us, other people around the world, haven't

0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.360
<v Speaker 1>heard all people from Oakland speak, so they wouldn't say

0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 1>automatically that he sounds black. We say it because we're

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.040
<v Speaker 1>black in America. I don't want to put that on

0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:34.680
<v Speaker 1>black people. You see what I'm saying, What what does

0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:41.080
<v Speaker 1>an Indian person from Slakavanya sound like? What? Exactly? That's

0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 1>my point?

0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.960
<v Speaker 3>What person can only be from India?

0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.080
<v Speaker 2>But within this country there's dialects.

0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:47.880
<v Speaker 1>This is what I'm saying.

0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.400
<v Speaker 6>Does anybody there is a such thing as a black dialect?

0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:55.200
<v Speaker 6>That's what I'm saying, Like we to us.

0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.920
<v Speaker 7>But everybody going back to your Jamaica example, there's some

0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.320
<v Speaker 7>white Jamaicans and even understand more than some countries. Amaicans.

0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.000
<v Speaker 7>I know I grew up and to.

0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:06.159
<v Speaker 5>Make it's not a good example. That's not a good example.

0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.840
<v Speaker 2>There's some white people that we know from Brooklyn that

0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 2>sound I know what you mean, trouble that sounds like

0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:16.080
<v Speaker 2>black people. For example black Brooklyn. There's a young man

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.320
<v Speaker 2>that lives on your black he married the girl friends.

0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.120
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm talking about. He if I were

0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:26.399
<v Speaker 2>to see seeing him coming to pross me and then yes,

0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 2>and then that's what we would say. He sounds like.

0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.720
<v Speaker 6>What I'm saying, is that's a problem, not a problem

0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.560
<v Speaker 6>if we own the fact that black culture is a thing.

0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.280
<v Speaker 6>Black is also a thing that comes out of black culture.

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.760
<v Speaker 6>For instance, Chicago. Black people in Chicago have a very

0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:45.119
<v Speaker 6>specific accent, and it is due to the culture of

0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:47.880
<v Speaker 6>the Great Migration. A lot of black people in Chicago,

0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:51.120
<v Speaker 6>their grandparents came from Mississippi and Alabama during the Great Migration,

0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:56.120
<v Speaker 6>and so their accent is influenced by the Southern accent.

0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:59.560
<v Speaker 6>So they sound different than white Chicagoans who have been

0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:01.440
<v Speaker 6>living in the Midwest for a while or came from

0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:03.960
<v Speaker 6>different parts of the country. That is a part of

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.680
<v Speaker 6>the culture. Black vernacular comes out of the culture. It's

0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.199
<v Speaker 6>not a problem I think that other people if you

0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.200
<v Speaker 6>grow up in black culture, for.

0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.919
<v Speaker 1>You that an opera. I'm saying that it's a problem

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.560
<v Speaker 1>for me that we are saying that this person sounds

0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:19.360
<v Speaker 1>like a color, Like that's the problem for me, it's

0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:22.200
<v Speaker 1>a problem, Like I'm not saying you wrong, its opera, no,

0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:25.480
<v Speaker 1>opp My point is that I don't ever want my

0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:29.560
<v Speaker 1>vernacular to be associated with a color. That's because think

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 1>about it, if a white person were to say you

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:33.520
<v Speaker 1>sound like a black man, what's the first thing that problem.

0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:35.919
<v Speaker 1>That's a problem, right, So how come trouble gets to say.

0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:37.840
<v Speaker 3>No, I don't like it when when black people say

0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.200
<v Speaker 3>other people say, that's what I'm saying White people, I

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:40.919
<v Speaker 3>hate it, That's.

0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.600
<v Speaker 1>What I'm saying. I think that's problematic that we we

0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:46.640
<v Speaker 1>say that a person has to sound black, or say

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.080
<v Speaker 1>a person sounds black. That's the wildest thing ever, But

0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:50.480
<v Speaker 1>it happens.

0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:55.879
<v Speaker 3>People say that it is true, like people do sound

0:19:56.160 --> 0:20:00.639
<v Speaker 3>like other ethnicities or other colors or whatever. You just

0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:01.600
<v Speaker 3>sound that way.

0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:04.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel you. What I'm saying is is that it's

0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.280
<v Speaker 1>problematic that we say it just because we say it, like's,

0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 1>for example, white people are black people say nigga? Why

0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:12.920
<v Speaker 1>can't we say it? Just because we say it don't

0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:16.520
<v Speaker 1>mean that it's not problematic. That's my point. Calling somebody

0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.760
<v Speaker 1>a nigga, calling someone a racial slur or a homophobic

0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:23.320
<v Speaker 1>slur is a problem, right, But people say it, right,

0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:26.359
<v Speaker 1>don't they say it? They do, But it's still problematic.

0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:29.160
<v Speaker 1>God does that correlate with this is how it correlates.

0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:32.120
<v Speaker 1>It's just because we say it doesn't mean that it's

0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:36.119
<v Speaker 1>not problematic. Saying to someone like you sound black and

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:39.280
<v Speaker 1>giving someone's vernacular or color when we're saying that we

0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.000
<v Speaker 1>don't want to be defined by our color. It's problematic

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:43.760
<v Speaker 1>for us as people. That's just my thing.

0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:44.240
<v Speaker 3>That's fair.

0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Like, we can't say applaud Ryan Cooler for being a director,

0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:50.720
<v Speaker 1>not just being a black director. Don't we say that

0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:53.439
<v Speaker 1>all the time? Applaud him for being For example, he

0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:56.240
<v Speaker 1>said it. When he first came out with Black Panther,

0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.880
<v Speaker 1>they kept saying that it was the greatest black he

0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:01.920
<v Speaker 1>was the highest grossing black director for that year, right.

0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 1>He was like, but I was also the highest grossing

0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:06.480
<v Speaker 1>director for that year ever, but they kept putting black

0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:06.920
<v Speaker 1>on it.

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:11.040
<v Speaker 2>Now they kept bringing up his deal and getting pressed,

0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:13.159
<v Speaker 2>and they keep talking about his dealing his blackness. He

0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 2>pretty much was just like, I have some ideas as

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 2>to why this is such a hot topic, but I'd

0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:21.320
<v Speaker 2>rather not speak on it because.

0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:23.359
<v Speaker 1>He didn't want to bring race. Black people bring up race.

0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:25.320
<v Speaker 1>He sounds black. It's like, we want to be the

0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:27.520
<v Speaker 1>only ones to be able to say, let's put his

0:21:27.560 --> 0:21:28.760
<v Speaker 1>blackness on the forefront.

0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:31.800
<v Speaker 2>I guess celebrate, but.

0:21:31.760 --> 0:21:34.119
<v Speaker 1>This is one thing though we have. It's problematic for

0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:37.159
<v Speaker 1>us to always attach it to always attach it and

0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.760
<v Speaker 1>then try to detach it when we wanted detail. It's

0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:43.960
<v Speaker 1>problematic because it creates mixed messages. We can celebrate excellence

0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:46.520
<v Speaker 1>without celebrating This is why it's important that we talk

0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:48.440
<v Speaker 1>about this going into code switching.

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:49.560
<v Speaker 2>Right, we're ready in the episode.

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Guys, think about it.

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Let's when I.

0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Go into a company, right, and my excellence in that company.

0:21:57.280 --> 0:21:59.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't want my excellence to be fined by my

0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:01.760
<v Speaker 1>black man. I don't want them to say he was

0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:04.680
<v Speaker 1>the best black CEO we ever had. I want them

0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:06.720
<v Speaker 1>to say, Yo, he was the best ceo we ever had.

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:09.080
<v Speaker 1>We made the most money, we had the best growth,

0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:11.600
<v Speaker 1>he treated people the best. The minutes you make it

0:22:11.640 --> 0:22:14.160
<v Speaker 1>about the blackness, then it takes away from the fact

0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:16.080
<v Speaker 1>that I was better than all of the white boys too.

0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I can see that.

0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:19.960
<v Speaker 2>Like even in pageantry when I used to compete, if

0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.520
<v Speaker 2>some young lady won and she was like the first

0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:26.320
<v Speaker 2>black queen to win for New York, ever, it's like

0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:28.520
<v Speaker 2>highlight that, like she's the first black, and then people

0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.600
<v Speaker 2>black other blacks. We celebrate that because it's like wow,

0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:34.840
<v Speaker 2>for so long it was a string of white people winning.

0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:36.719
<v Speaker 2>But the minute the black girl one, it was like

0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:40.040
<v Speaker 2>it had to be celebrated. I get both sides. You

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:41.600
<v Speaker 2>want to celebrate it because it's like, this is the

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:43.840
<v Speaker 2>first time something's happening for a black person that we

0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:46.239
<v Speaker 2>can be proud of. But then also it's like she

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:47.920
<v Speaker 2>was just the best girl there that year.

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:50.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, I feel you, so I feel I just

0:22:52.119 --> 0:22:54.160
<v Speaker 1>it is. It is. Well, So I got a question

0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:57.159
<v Speaker 1>for Trouble right because you're super pro black, like I'm

0:22:57.200 --> 0:23:01.120
<v Speaker 1>pro black. If another dude came up and was having

0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:05.160
<v Speaker 1>the same success as Ryan Cooler, say it was, who's

0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:09.640
<v Speaker 1>another young black director right now? For us? Oh, matter

0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:11.040
<v Speaker 1>of fact, Jordan Peele.

0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:13.280
<v Speaker 7>I was gonna say, Arry Drienkins peel works.

0:23:13.680 --> 0:23:15.399
<v Speaker 1>What if he got up and just sounded like a

0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:19.880
<v Speaker 1>malleible white boy, would it take away from his success

0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:23.400
<v Speaker 1>as a black director? Whoever, whoever the director was, let's

0:23:23.440 --> 0:23:25.800
<v Speaker 1>not even give him a name. Let's just say, black

0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:29.200
<v Speaker 1>guy from Georgia goes out and breaks all of these records,

0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:33.840
<v Speaker 1>but he talks like quote unquote a white boy, he

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:37.520
<v Speaker 1>code switches. Would we then, as a black community say,

0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.000
<v Speaker 1>now my celebrating that sellout? Would we do that?

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:41.120
<v Speaker 3>Some people do?

0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:43.160
<v Speaker 1>That's why it's problematic.

0:23:43.400 --> 0:23:47.680
<v Speaker 3>There we go Charles Cambino, what's his real name, Donald

0:23:47.720 --> 0:23:51.399
<v Speaker 3>Donald Glover. He gets flacked because he isn't uh or

0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:53.600
<v Speaker 3>he gets he doesn't get celebrated as much I think

0:23:53.800 --> 0:23:57.439
<v Speaker 3>in a black community because he's dated white women. He

0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:58.400
<v Speaker 3>doesn't act.

0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:02.159
<v Speaker 1>Like the typical black man. That's problematic for me.

0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:03.440
<v Speaker 3>I get it.

0:24:03.880 --> 0:24:05.080
<v Speaker 1>That's just problematic for me.

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:08.480
<v Speaker 3>And I think he's and I think he's extremely talented

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.879
<v Speaker 3>in many genres, in many industries. So I get what

0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:12.240
<v Speaker 3>you're saying.

0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:14.280
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying. I just don't want I don't

0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:17.360
<v Speaker 1>want Ryan Cooler's blackness to take away from his greatness.

0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:20.120
<v Speaker 1>He should be celebrated in all of it, and then

0:24:20.119 --> 0:24:21.800
<v Speaker 1>we should be like yo, you know what I'm saying Now,

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 1>I will say this as a brother. I felt like

0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:29.840
<v Speaker 1>triple right, like yo, he up there sounding like himself.

0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:32.920
<v Speaker 1>But I personally was not gonna smember when I made

0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:34.920
<v Speaker 1>my post about it. I wasn't gonna think my post

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:37.280
<v Speaker 1>about him sounding like himself because I don't want to

0:24:37.280 --> 0:24:39.520
<v Speaker 1>bring attention to that. I want to bring attention to

0:24:39.600 --> 0:24:42.160
<v Speaker 1>his accomplishments, not his skin color. That's to me why

0:24:42.200 --> 0:24:45.520
<v Speaker 1>I feel like no, But I felt like we kind

0:24:45.520 --> 0:24:46.440
<v Speaker 1>of went into the coach witch.

0:24:46.560 --> 0:24:47.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but you would ask our question that she never

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 2>got to answer.

0:24:49.040 --> 0:24:50.920
<v Speaker 6>But I think what you said is kind of the point.

0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 6>You don't want your blackness to take away from your greatness.

0:24:53.880 --> 0:24:57.280
<v Speaker 6>And the way that he speaks in his black vernacular

0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:00.520
<v Speaker 6>as hisself not losing any part of his identity, braids

0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:03.880
<v Speaker 6>in his hair. He's putting black identity at the forefront

0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:07.520
<v Speaker 6>of the movies that he makes. That in turn allows

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:09.840
<v Speaker 6>his greatness and his blackness to work hand in hand.

0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 6>And I think that's the point of acknowledging the way

0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:16.160
<v Speaker 6>that he shows up as his full self while being

0:25:16.200 --> 0:25:17.520
<v Speaker 6>great in the things that he does.

0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I agree. I agree with him showing up as

0:25:20.480 --> 0:25:22.440
<v Speaker 1>his full self. I mean, y'all can have that point.

0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:24.560
<v Speaker 1>That's y'all perspective. I don't got to agree with it, though,

0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:26.720
<v Speaker 1>because I don't feel like I want my blackness to

0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:29.560
<v Speaker 1>be always on the forefront of what I do, because

0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:32.639
<v Speaker 1>if you really want to occupy space, you don't always.

0:25:32.640 --> 0:25:35.479
<v Speaker 1>It's the same thing with the LGPTQ community, right. And

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 1>I spoke to one of my friends who you know,

0:25:38.080 --> 0:25:39.960
<v Speaker 1>and he says he gets so tired that every time

0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:42.760
<v Speaker 1>he goes somewhere, they make a point to say, here's

0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 1>this gay man, and he's like, why can't my greatness

0:25:45.760 --> 0:25:48.760
<v Speaker 1>just occupy the space in itself? That's where I'm coming

0:25:48.760 --> 0:25:51.760
<v Speaker 1>from with it. Why can't my greatness just occupy my

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:52.679
<v Speaker 1>space in itself?

0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:53.880
<v Speaker 2>We would like that, but that's.

0:25:55.640 --> 0:25:58.000
<v Speaker 1>But how can black people keep doing it to black people?

0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:00.920
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying is problematic. Right, if we keep

0:26:00.960 --> 0:26:03.359
<v Speaker 1>doing it to us, they're always going to do it

0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:04.960
<v Speaker 1>to us, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, of course

0:26:05.000 --> 0:26:08.760
<v Speaker 1>we can celebrate the being the first black, but also

0:26:08.840 --> 0:26:11.440
<v Speaker 1>let's just celebrate being better than everybody else. Yeah. I

0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:13.639
<v Speaker 1>may have been the first black, but I also was

0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:17.200
<v Speaker 1>just better than everybody else, And all those people weren't black,

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:19.240
<v Speaker 1>so it was like I was better than y'all. Like,

0:26:19.280 --> 0:26:20.520
<v Speaker 1>can we celebrate that.

0:26:20.640 --> 0:26:23.520
<v Speaker 2>That I was just better than y'all? That's it, that's it, Like.

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 1>I was just better than like like Jesse Owens first

0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:29.800
<v Speaker 1>Black Olympian to win four gold medals, and he won

0:26:29.840 --> 0:26:32.160
<v Speaker 1>it during the time when Hitler was hosting the Olympics

0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:36.200
<v Speaker 1>in Germany. Right, it mattered that his blackness was there,

0:26:36.600 --> 0:26:38.560
<v Speaker 1>but you never heard Jesse Owens gay up and say

0:26:38.560 --> 0:26:40.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm the first black. He was just like, I was

0:26:40.200 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 1>better than all of them. To me, that was just dope.

0:26:43.040 --> 0:26:45.159
<v Speaker 1>Like if you watch he was just like, yeah, I'm here,

0:26:45.200 --> 0:26:47.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm faster than you. I jump further than you. I

0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:50.000
<v Speaker 1>run faster than you, I jump higher than you. I

0:26:50.080 --> 0:26:52.560
<v Speaker 1>just happened to be black. Deal with it. Like, to me,

0:26:52.800 --> 0:26:55.960
<v Speaker 1>that was like the ultimate display. And when it comes

0:26:55.960 --> 0:26:59.320
<v Speaker 1>to code switching, I kind of feel like I'm not

0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:02.280
<v Speaker 1>a big cold switcher, but I will learn. I did

0:27:02.359 --> 0:27:06.399
<v Speaker 1>learn that you get access to different people if they

0:27:06.440 --> 0:27:11.240
<v Speaker 1>can understand what you're saying. For example, if I walk

0:27:11.280 --> 0:27:16.000
<v Speaker 1>into a meeting with on a Warren Buffett and I'm

0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:17.480
<v Speaker 1>just like, you know, you know what I'm saying, Warren,

0:27:17.600 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 1>I got this idea of boom check it. Warren may

0:27:19.880 --> 0:27:24.520
<v Speaker 1>be like, huh, you know, or Warren may know and understand.

0:27:25.040 --> 0:27:27.120
<v Speaker 1>But for me, I'm not gonna take the chance. I'm

0:27:27.119 --> 0:27:29.280
<v Speaker 1>gonna go in there and give him my best elevated

0:27:29.280 --> 0:27:30.840
<v Speaker 1>pitch in two minutes in a way that he can

0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:33.520
<v Speaker 1>understand it if I'm trying to get access to those resources.

0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:35.280
<v Speaker 2>Right, So your approach is different depending on the person.

0:27:35.359 --> 0:27:37.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, depending on the person like, you know what I'm saying.

0:27:37.320 --> 0:27:40.080
<v Speaker 1>And also my code doesn't switch if it's just white people.

0:27:40.280 --> 0:27:42.399
<v Speaker 1>They are very educated black people who I know I

0:27:42.440 --> 0:27:44.880
<v Speaker 1>can't talk up to and walk up to and be like, YO,

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:47.359
<v Speaker 1>what's good? My g like not that. Some black people

0:27:47.440 --> 0:27:48.160
<v Speaker 1>not with that either.

0:27:48.200 --> 0:27:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Well that's why I said there's a time and place

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:52.159
<v Speaker 2>for everything. It's like, you got to know your audience.

0:27:52.200 --> 0:27:53.439
<v Speaker 2>You have to know who you're speaking to, so you

0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:55.880
<v Speaker 2>have to know what the opportunity is completely. Get that

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:58.480
<v Speaker 2>all right. So for me with my perspective as it

0:27:58.520 --> 0:28:01.240
<v Speaker 2>comes to just the code switching or just speaking properly,

0:28:02.000 --> 0:28:04.240
<v Speaker 2>I was raised in a household of course as West Indian,

0:28:04.560 --> 0:28:07.959
<v Speaker 2>and my mom, I think for so long, leaving Jamaica

0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 2>when she was younger. Even when she was younger, my

0:28:10.760 --> 0:28:14.440
<v Speaker 2>grandmother always stressed to her the importance of speaking properly.

0:28:15.200 --> 0:28:18.360
<v Speaker 2>So with Jamaica being under British rule for so many years,

0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:22.440
<v Speaker 2>there's this aspiration that some Jamaicans have to kind of

0:28:23.440 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 2>dim their dialect and their patuas you know, and then

0:28:27.800 --> 0:28:30.920
<v Speaker 2>they want to sound more proper. So that's why Jamaicans

0:28:30.920 --> 0:28:34.919
<v Speaker 2>have developed this version called twang or twang where you

0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:39.040
<v Speaker 2>try to sound a little bit more educated, quote unquote.

0:28:38.720 --> 0:28:40.920
<v Speaker 1>And that's what Tripp was talking about with proximity to

0:28:40.960 --> 0:28:41.360
<v Speaker 1>white men.

0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:45.200
<v Speaker 2>Right, and that's what they aspire towards. So my grandmother

0:28:45.520 --> 0:28:47.360
<v Speaker 2>from when I can even remember as a kid, we

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:50.600
<v Speaker 2>would sometimes watch this Jamaican comedian, Oliver Samuels, and I

0:28:50.640 --> 0:28:52.480
<v Speaker 2>would repeat my brother and I would repeat that, and

0:28:52.480 --> 0:28:55.479
<v Speaker 2>it was like strictly Jamaican pata that he would speak it.

0:28:55.720 --> 0:28:58.240
<v Speaker 2>And my grandmother would say, you know that, that's what

0:28:58.320 --> 0:29:00.720
<v Speaker 2>he does because he's a comedian, but you should always

0:29:00.760 --> 0:29:04.800
<v Speaker 2>speak properly. So my mom was always big with me

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:07.479
<v Speaker 2>on that speaking properly. So we joke at my mom now,

0:29:07.560 --> 0:29:09.680
<v Speaker 2>we're just like, girl, you're just faking like you barely

0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:13.040
<v Speaker 2>sound Jamaican because for so many years she's tried to

0:29:13.120 --> 0:29:17.720
<v Speaker 2>kind of eradicate that Jamaican accent to sound more proper.

0:29:18.320 --> 0:29:20.840
<v Speaker 2>And for me now growing up now having my mom,

0:29:20.840 --> 0:29:23.960
<v Speaker 2>when I did pageants, I started at ten, and for

0:29:24.080 --> 0:29:26.800
<v Speaker 2>her when we would have like a speech competition, she

0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:29.840
<v Speaker 2>would always have me a nuncigate tend see the ends

0:29:29.880 --> 0:29:33.520
<v Speaker 2>of my words, And I just grew up, Yeah, but

0:29:33.560 --> 0:29:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I kind of grew up in that. So for me,

0:29:35.160 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>it was normal. So then I go to school in

0:29:37.560 --> 0:29:40.520
<v Speaker 2>East New York. I know, you know, in East New York,

0:29:40.560 --> 0:29:44.720
<v Speaker 2>Brooklyn Bethlehem Baptist Academy, shout out, and I'm around hood

0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:48.280
<v Speaker 2>black kids. So when I got to that school, it's

0:29:48.280 --> 0:29:51.480
<v Speaker 2>already bad enough that I'm super light skinned, got straight here,

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:54.120
<v Speaker 2>look kind of white, kind of Indian, kind of Spanish.

0:29:54.160 --> 0:29:56.320
<v Speaker 2>They don't know. So the kids used to laugh at

0:29:56.320 --> 0:29:58.520
<v Speaker 2>me and say, I sound like a white girl. But

0:29:58.600 --> 0:30:00.280
<v Speaker 2>that was just me being like, well, how am I

0:30:00.280 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 2>supposed to sound? So I made it a point when

0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:06.360
<v Speaker 2>I was in there now to immerse myself into the

0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:10.240
<v Speaker 2>black vernacular that was the hood talk. So that's why

0:30:10.240 --> 0:30:12.719
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I was able to do both. And

0:30:12.800 --> 0:30:15.200
<v Speaker 2>throughout the course of my life growing up, there were

0:30:15.280 --> 0:30:18.960
<v Speaker 2>spaces where it required me to fit in that I

0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:22.040
<v Speaker 2>sound like a Brooklyn Roundaway girl, and then when I

0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 2>had to get on pageant, it's like I'm Kadeen Joseph,

0:30:24.960 --> 0:30:28.680
<v Speaker 2>thank you. And I spent my entire life doing that,

0:30:29.480 --> 0:30:33.040
<v Speaker 2>And to me, it wasn't necessarily about trying to fit

0:30:33.120 --> 0:30:36.000
<v Speaker 2>into those spaces, but I knew that how I represented

0:30:36.000 --> 0:30:38.720
<v Speaker 2>myself and those spaces mattered. So if I was going

0:30:38.760 --> 0:30:41.680
<v Speaker 2>on stage, I wouldn't be like, Yo, what my name is, Kaden?

0:30:41.720 --> 0:30:42.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm from Brooklyn, Da Da Da da d.

0:30:43.120 --> 0:30:43.320
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:45.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm not doing that on stage. I'm not doing that

0:30:45.400 --> 0:30:48.120
<v Speaker 2>in an interview with someone. But when I'm around my people,

0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:50.240
<v Speaker 2>then I could let loose a little bit, which is

0:30:50.240 --> 0:30:50.880
<v Speaker 2>what I tend to do.

0:30:50.920 --> 0:30:52.640
<v Speaker 1>Now, can I ask your question? When you got up

0:30:52.680 --> 0:30:54.440
<v Speaker 1>on that stage and you spoke properly and said the

0:30:54.520 --> 0:30:56.000
<v Speaker 1>end of the word were, You're still not Kadeen?

0:30:56.560 --> 0:30:56.600
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:30:56.680 --> 0:30:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I still sounded like a black girl to me, Okay,

0:31:00.200 --> 0:31:03.120
<v Speaker 1>And that's that's my point, is like black women are

0:31:03.120 --> 0:31:05.840
<v Speaker 1>not monolithic, which means is if you black, you only

0:31:05.920 --> 0:31:07.880
<v Speaker 1>sound like your hood around the way chick you grew

0:31:07.920 --> 0:31:10.640
<v Speaker 1>up with. No, there are black women who grow up

0:31:10.680 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 1>in different parts of the country who only sound like

0:31:13.720 --> 0:31:17.040
<v Speaker 1>how you sound on the pageant stage. They're brown skin,

0:31:17.160 --> 0:31:19.440
<v Speaker 1>they're dark, they have course here and everything. Does that

0:31:19.480 --> 0:31:20.600
<v Speaker 1>mean that they're less black? Me?

0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:21.440
<v Speaker 5>And absolutely?

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:22.320
<v Speaker 1>And that's my point.

0:31:22.400 --> 0:31:24.360
<v Speaker 2>And then you throw me into the news circuit. Now,

0:31:24.400 --> 0:31:27.600
<v Speaker 2>so I go to school for broadcast journalism, right, that's

0:31:27.640 --> 0:31:30.280
<v Speaker 2>a whole nother form of speaking properly. So now I'm

0:31:30.320 --> 0:31:33.240
<v Speaker 2>doing voice addiction. The aim for that was to sound

0:31:33.400 --> 0:31:38.040
<v Speaker 2>like the dialect was like Midwest American, because they felt

0:31:38.080 --> 0:31:42.320
<v Speaker 2>like that was the authentic American when you strip away

0:31:42.320 --> 0:31:44.560
<v Speaker 2>all the accents and the dialects, that was the most

0:31:44.600 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 2>authentic version of what it sounded like to be American.

0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 2>So when you hear news reporters speak on TV and

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:52.719
<v Speaker 2>they're always like, hello, I'm Kadeen Ellis and I'm reporting

0:31:52.760 --> 0:31:57.120
<v Speaker 2>live for the evening News, that too. Whoever decided that

0:31:57.120 --> 0:31:59.320
<v Speaker 2>that was like the be all that ended all of

0:31:59.400 --> 0:32:02.719
<v Speaker 2>the way news reporters were supposed to sound, That's what

0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:05.920
<v Speaker 2>I aspire to in that space. So it's funny now

0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:08.560
<v Speaker 2>when I meet or talk to news reporters who are

0:32:08.560 --> 0:32:11.680
<v Speaker 2>out of work, you know they're not They're just in person,

0:32:11.760 --> 0:32:14.640
<v Speaker 2>they still sound like what they sound like on television

0:32:14.720 --> 0:32:17.160
<v Speaker 2>because it becomes a part of their identity too. It's

0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:19.640
<v Speaker 2>like they're not necessarily coachaching. This is now them. So

0:32:19.680 --> 0:32:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't look at a news reporter and be like, well,

0:32:21.720 --> 0:32:23.800
<v Speaker 2>damn if it's a black news reporter, for example, I

0:32:23.800 --> 0:32:25.880
<v Speaker 2>actually no one who's Dominican. I don't look at her

0:32:25.880 --> 0:32:27.840
<v Speaker 2>and be like, damn, you're less Dominican now. Because you're

0:32:27.840 --> 0:32:30.880
<v Speaker 2>a news reporter and you're speaking to me properly, properly

0:32:31.280 --> 0:32:34.080
<v Speaker 2>in or properly in terms of what we would say

0:32:34.160 --> 0:32:36.800
<v Speaker 2>is a proper way to speak in person, and they're

0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:38.280
<v Speaker 2>not working. Does that make sense?

0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:41.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean it does make sense because I agree with it.

0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:43.160
<v Speaker 1>That's what made sense to me. I thought you were

0:32:43.160 --> 0:32:44.160
<v Speaker 1>in agreement with Trible.

0:32:44.320 --> 0:32:46.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, I did agree with some of the things Triple said.

0:32:46.200 --> 0:32:46.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm in agreement with it.

0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 2>But then now, in my experience, I'm able to see

0:32:49.360 --> 0:32:51.600
<v Speaker 2>a couple different, you know, ways that it can and

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:52.480
<v Speaker 2>can't work for people.

0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 1>So let me ask all y'all a question. I'm asking y'all,

0:32:54.920 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 1>y'all have kids, How y'all gonna raise y'all kids to speak?

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:02.360
<v Speaker 3>You got kids, mister oh, I got kids? Know anyone

0:33:02.400 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 3>with kids?

0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:05.520
<v Speaker 1>But well, no, Matt wants to have kids. Tripple talked

0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:07.680
<v Speaker 1>about possibly not possible. But let's just an example, like,

0:33:07.720 --> 0:33:09.960
<v Speaker 1>if you have kids, are you going to raise your

0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:12.000
<v Speaker 1>kids and say, yo, I need you to speak black

0:33:12.080 --> 0:33:13.440
<v Speaker 1>like I need you to speak or are you going

0:33:13.520 --> 0:33:15.800
<v Speaker 1>to say become who you are and how they speak

0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:17.600
<v Speaker 1>becomes their identity? Is my point I'm.

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.120
<v Speaker 3>Asking, Well, my response is. I guess it's twofold, right.

0:33:21.000 --> 0:33:24.840
<v Speaker 3>I hold the thought idea that if you code switch,

0:33:24.920 --> 0:33:27.280
<v Speaker 3>or if you have the idea to cod switch, you're

0:33:27.280 --> 0:33:30.680
<v Speaker 3>already lost, right, because you're already thinking about something that

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:33.680
<v Speaker 3>you're not thinking about the task at hand. You're thinking

0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:38.200
<v Speaker 3>about how you appear or look about delivering whatever you

0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:40.040
<v Speaker 3>have to say or whatever you have to do. That's

0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:45.440
<v Speaker 3>number one. Number two coach switch is important because a

0:33:45.440 --> 0:33:48.000
<v Speaker 3>lot of times we feel like the environment or the

0:33:48.000 --> 0:33:56.720
<v Speaker 3>surroundings have to sort of it has to change for us, right.

0:33:56.760 --> 0:33:59.320
<v Speaker 3>We don't have to fit into the environment. The environment

0:33:59.360 --> 0:33:59.960
<v Speaker 3>has to change.

0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:03.280
<v Speaker 1>You're talking about individuals or just black as individuals, as individuals, right.

0:34:03.560 --> 0:34:08.000
<v Speaker 3>For example, walking into as a New Yorker walking into

0:34:08.080 --> 0:34:14.320
<v Speaker 3>a Southern or Atlanta restaurant or whatever, and the waiter says,

0:34:14.760 --> 0:34:16.399
<v Speaker 3>what you want, how you doing? Like what you want?

0:34:16.440 --> 0:34:17.480
<v Speaker 3>What can I get you? Right?

0:34:17.560 --> 0:34:17.840
<v Speaker 2>For me?

0:34:18.600 --> 0:34:20.759
<v Speaker 3>I want how you doing? How can I serve you?

0:34:21.080 --> 0:34:24.840
<v Speaker 3>But if she talks to me differently, I understand that

0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:29.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm walking into their establishment, So I gotta I'm normally

0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:31.759
<v Speaker 3>going to just accept what they give me because I

0:34:31.800 --> 0:34:36.080
<v Speaker 3>know it's not I know it's not a oh so you're.

0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Talking about accepting code switching from people.

0:34:38.400 --> 0:34:42.000
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm talking about code switching is not only just.

0:34:42.640 --> 0:34:46.400
<v Speaker 1>You changing the way you changing the way.

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:49.480
<v Speaker 3>You speak, but it's assimulating to environments that are around you.

0:34:50.120 --> 0:34:52.600
<v Speaker 2>For example, if you go to a Jamaican restaurant and

0:34:52.640 --> 0:34:54.880
<v Speaker 2>you want more ox steal grievs, Yeah, you're going to

0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:56.279
<v Speaker 2>talk with a little bit of accent with the young

0:34:56.360 --> 0:34:58.920
<v Speaker 2>lady behind the counter because she might relate to you.

0:34:58.920 --> 0:35:01.120
<v Speaker 3>No, I speak how I want want to speak, acting

0:35:01.239 --> 0:35:02.759
<v Speaker 3>or not, makan or not. I'm going to speak how

0:35:02.800 --> 0:35:05.600
<v Speaker 3>I want to speak, but understanding that the code that

0:35:05.680 --> 0:35:09.160
<v Speaker 3>she has I need to accept whatever's going on.

0:35:11.040 --> 0:35:12.799
<v Speaker 1>I see what you're saying is when you get into

0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:16.440
<v Speaker 1>an environment, the code is created by whoever the established

0:35:16.520 --> 0:35:19.880
<v Speaker 1>correct owner, or whoever wants the establishment.

0:35:19.400 --> 0:35:23.240
<v Speaker 3>The establishment, the country, the region, the air, the statement

0:35:23.320 --> 0:35:26.040
<v Speaker 3>on us, and wherever you are. You you should be

0:35:26.120 --> 0:35:30.000
<v Speaker 3>able to understand that. You should coach with yourself. You

0:35:30.000 --> 0:35:33.960
<v Speaker 3>don't have to simulate, right, but don't change up what

0:35:34.000 --> 0:35:35.440
<v Speaker 3>you talking to me? Are you talking to me like that?

0:35:35.560 --> 0:35:38.920
<v Speaker 3>Ask me how I want like? That's unacceptable right for

0:35:39.040 --> 0:35:41.520
<v Speaker 3>me personally, Because you got to understand that people run

0:35:41.600 --> 0:35:44.000
<v Speaker 3>their business the way they want. Countries run their countries

0:35:44.000 --> 0:35:46.600
<v Speaker 3>the way they run, and you can't change it. For example,

0:35:46.680 --> 0:35:50.080
<v Speaker 3>go to China, expect the same pleasantries that you have

0:35:50.120 --> 0:35:52.160
<v Speaker 3>in America. It's probably not going to happen. I know,

0:35:52.360 --> 0:35:52.840
<v Speaker 3>I trust me.

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I understand because I hate when I remember we were

0:35:54.840 --> 0:35:56.759
<v Speaker 1>talking about the other day when we heard this old

0:35:56.760 --> 0:36:00.120
<v Speaker 1>white dude say to things, you speak American, which to

0:36:00.160 --> 0:36:02.560
<v Speaker 1>me is like the most wildest, like speak American? What

0:36:02.600 --> 0:36:04.960
<v Speaker 1>the fuck is American? But I feel you it's like

0:36:05.080 --> 0:36:07.960
<v Speaker 1>code switching is also the well I never thought about

0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 1>that till you just said it, but that actually is fair.

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:12.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah for me, that that's going back to the environment.

0:36:12.239 --> 0:36:15.480
<v Speaker 3>So going back to my uh, to my child, I

0:36:15.520 --> 0:36:18.719
<v Speaker 3>feel it's important to I feel like it's important to

0:36:19.000 --> 0:36:23.360
<v Speaker 3>understand or teach her that she's gonna have to understand

0:36:23.480 --> 0:36:25.759
<v Speaker 3>and how to navigate these spaces and that's part of

0:36:25.760 --> 0:36:29.520
<v Speaker 3>code switching. But also I want her to be able

0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:31.600
<v Speaker 3>to co switch if if she needs to. It's almost

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:34.759
<v Speaker 3>a superpower right to be able, like for you to

0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:37.520
<v Speaker 3>go in these spaces and or just to go to school,

0:36:37.560 --> 0:36:39.439
<v Speaker 3>and you know your mom teaches you how to speak

0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:41.800
<v Speaker 3>a certain way, and I know we Jamaican that twine.

0:36:41.840 --> 0:36:43.640
<v Speaker 3>When it comes out like you have to speak like this,

0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:47.200
<v Speaker 3>it gets kind of funky when you hear other people

0:36:47.239 --> 0:36:52.160
<v Speaker 3>do it, but understanding the the reason for it is survival,

0:36:52.400 --> 0:36:54.720
<v Speaker 3>Like the reason that you were taught to code switch

0:36:54.840 --> 0:36:58.719
<v Speaker 3>is to be able to not be not have your

0:36:58.800 --> 0:37:01.440
<v Speaker 3>speech be a district action to what your message is

0:37:01.480 --> 0:37:04.680
<v Speaker 3>absolutely and not necessarily stand out when you don't necessarily

0:37:04.760 --> 0:37:06.920
<v Speaker 3>need to need to stand out your performance to stand

0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:10.839
<v Speaker 3>out your your which is what your abilities to stand out,

0:37:10.840 --> 0:37:12.600
<v Speaker 3>what you bring to the table should stand out more

0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:15.320
<v Speaker 3>than you yourself Like you just got you guys just

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:20.480
<v Speaker 3>said it don't be the story all back to that,

0:37:20.600 --> 0:37:24.680
<v Speaker 3>like that's it. So teaching teaching my child, I'm absolutely

0:37:24.760 --> 0:37:26.359
<v Speaker 3>going to teach how to coach it because I think

0:37:26.360 --> 0:37:30.399
<v Speaker 3>it's essential for survival. But as far as changing who

0:37:30.440 --> 0:37:32.920
<v Speaker 3>you are for the sake of doing it, that I complete.

0:37:33.440 --> 0:37:36.040
<v Speaker 2>And then it becomes an identity issue, which you don't

0:37:36.040 --> 0:37:37.560
<v Speaker 2>want to happen a specially the kids. I don't feel

0:37:37.600 --> 0:37:40.120
<v Speaker 2>like I've ever had to with the boys. I don't

0:37:40.160 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 2>think I've ever had to correct them on how to

0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:45.759
<v Speaker 2>say something. And it could be because they're not growing

0:37:45.840 --> 0:37:47.239
<v Speaker 2>up in Brooklyn like we did. So they may not

0:37:47.280 --> 0:37:49.239
<v Speaker 2>sound like Brooklyn kids. They may get flat for that,

0:37:49.280 --> 0:37:50.799
<v Speaker 2>growing up like you were born in Brooklyn.

0:37:50.560 --> 0:37:53.960
<v Speaker 1>But they're gonna get f they do. Like when they

0:37:54.040 --> 0:37:55.520
<v Speaker 1>go back to Brooklyn, they be like, yo, why you

0:37:55.520 --> 0:37:57.600
<v Speaker 1>talk like that? And I constantly tell them. Maybe this

0:37:57.680 --> 0:38:00.520
<v Speaker 1>is another reason why I feel like I tell my

0:38:00.600 --> 0:38:02.960
<v Speaker 1>kids all the time, You're not going to be defined

0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:05.160
<v Speaker 1>by how you speak. You're not going to be defined

0:38:05.200 --> 0:38:07.640
<v Speaker 1>by how you look, bro. You're going to be defined

0:38:07.680 --> 0:38:10.320
<v Speaker 1>by what you put out in the world. The essence

0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:12.160
<v Speaker 1>you put out in the world is going to define you.

0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:14.920
<v Speaker 1>Anybody who says you have to be this way, or

0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:17.120
<v Speaker 1>sound this way or do this because of the way

0:38:17.120 --> 0:38:18.600
<v Speaker 1>you look, it's not a person you want to be

0:38:18.640 --> 0:38:20.719
<v Speaker 1>around anyway. And I gotta tell my kids that all

0:38:20.760 --> 0:38:22.239
<v Speaker 1>the time. We talked about this on another one and

0:38:22.280 --> 0:38:24.719
<v Speaker 1>we're going to talk about the black excellence, you know,

0:38:24.800 --> 0:38:26.640
<v Speaker 1>it's like, what does black excellence look like?

0:38:27.040 --> 0:38:27.239
<v Speaker 4>Right?

0:38:27.520 --> 0:38:28.040
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean?

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:29.640
<v Speaker 1>We have a whole other podcast we're going to talk

0:38:29.680 --> 0:38:32.239
<v Speaker 1>about that. But I don't think black excellence is just

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:37.600
<v Speaker 1>assimilating to whiteness or aspiring to in a black version.

0:38:37.840 --> 0:38:39.560
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. I think sometimes we get

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:41.680
<v Speaker 1>lost in that. It's like, let's just aspire to do

0:38:41.719 --> 0:38:45.439
<v Speaker 1>everything white people do in a black way, and that's

0:38:45.440 --> 0:38:47.319
<v Speaker 1>black excellence. What if I want to do something that

0:38:47.320 --> 0:38:50.799
<v Speaker 1>white people have never done before, that's not excellent, even

0:38:50.800 --> 0:38:52.640
<v Speaker 1>if it's great, you know what I'm saying, Like, I

0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:56.880
<v Speaker 1>don't want my definition of who I am to always

0:38:56.960 --> 0:39:00.960
<v Speaker 1>be compared to anything or anybody problematic.

0:39:01.239 --> 0:39:03.720
<v Speaker 3>That's why I'm this whole thing is problem and it's

0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:09.640
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't being problematic. It is losing yourself just to assimilate

0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:14.279
<v Speaker 3>to something else. It's hurtful for not just your generation, Beach.

0:39:14.320 --> 0:39:16.279
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna teach that to other people and they're gonna

0:39:16.320 --> 0:39:18.279
<v Speaker 3>find a problem with it when other people aren't doing

0:39:18.280 --> 0:39:18.920
<v Speaker 3>the same thing as you.

0:39:19.000 --> 0:39:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Baby, that's literally mean think about us. You become from

0:39:21.040 --> 0:39:23.520
<v Speaker 2>a similar backgrounds. It's like being always concerned about what

0:39:23.520 --> 0:39:25.960
<v Speaker 2>everybody's gonna think, and then you create this version of

0:39:26.000 --> 0:39:27.879
<v Speaker 2>who you think people want you to be, and then

0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:30.239
<v Speaker 2>you sometimes don't even know who you are. You try

0:39:30.239 --> 0:39:31.879
<v Speaker 2>to figure out you know, and then it's like I'm

0:39:31.920 --> 0:39:33.520
<v Speaker 2>doing all of this for what? For who?

0:39:33.719 --> 0:39:37.440
<v Speaker 6>Exactly, and I think too. You ask what I raised

0:39:37.440 --> 0:39:39.520
<v Speaker 6>my kids to speak black? Well, first of all, I

0:39:39.520 --> 0:39:43.480
<v Speaker 6>would raise my children to be black and to appreciate

0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:46.200
<v Speaker 6>their blackness and celebrate it and not shrink it or

0:39:46.320 --> 0:39:49.520
<v Speaker 6>change it for any other reason. So if I my

0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:51.680
<v Speaker 6>kids started growing up and I realized that they don't

0:39:51.719 --> 0:39:54.279
<v Speaker 6>sound like I do, I think that children, in the

0:39:54.280 --> 0:39:57.240
<v Speaker 6>way that they speak, they are affected by their environment.

0:39:57.320 --> 0:39:58.960
<v Speaker 6>So kids spend a lot of time at school. If

0:39:59.000 --> 0:40:00.600
<v Speaker 6>they go to a white school, they're going to talk

0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 6>like the people around them. But if they know that,

0:40:04.800 --> 0:40:07.360
<v Speaker 6>if they're not doing that because they want to sound white,

0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:10.719
<v Speaker 6>which is why some people do code switch or have

0:40:10.800 --> 0:40:14.279
<v Speaker 6>code switch historically, is because proximity to whiteness. I need

0:40:14.280 --> 0:40:16.719
<v Speaker 6>to sound more white in order to be accepted and

0:40:16.760 --> 0:40:20.200
<v Speaker 6>taken seriously in these spaces. Not necessarily because you want

0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 6>to sound more eloquent or you want to be able

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:25.520
<v Speaker 6>to or rate, but it's because this is how the

0:40:25.520 --> 0:40:27.480
<v Speaker 6>white people talk, I should talk like them so that

0:40:27.560 --> 0:40:29.200
<v Speaker 6>I don't stand out as a black person.

0:40:29.520 --> 0:40:30.000
<v Speaker 5>I don't think.

0:40:30.080 --> 0:40:32.880
<v Speaker 6>I wouldn't want my children to think that way. I

0:40:32.920 --> 0:40:37.560
<v Speaker 6>would always want them to be steadfast in their identity

0:40:37.640 --> 0:40:39.960
<v Speaker 6>as a black person, And I don't think that being

0:40:40.000 --> 0:40:44.200
<v Speaker 6>black means that you can't speak a certain way, you

0:40:44.239 --> 0:40:46.680
<v Speaker 6>know what I'm saying. I do think that black people,

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:50.319
<v Speaker 6>specifically in certain regions do speak in certain ways, but

0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:53.160
<v Speaker 6>that doesn't make people that don't speak like that less black.

0:40:53.160 --> 0:40:54.200
<v Speaker 5>I don't think that is true.

0:40:54.480 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 1>That's why I think that that's where I think the

0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:57.520
<v Speaker 1>message gets lost a little bit.

0:40:58.640 --> 0:41:03.560
<v Speaker 6>Well. Code switching is particular to speaking a different way

0:41:03.680 --> 0:41:08.000
<v Speaker 6>in order to be accepted or taken seriously in certain spaces. So,

0:41:08.120 --> 0:41:10.919
<v Speaker 6>like Cadeen said, she code switched when she was around

0:41:10.960 --> 0:41:13.080
<v Speaker 6>black people because at home she was taught to speak

0:41:13.120 --> 0:41:16.040
<v Speaker 6>a certain way. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're trying

0:41:16.080 --> 0:41:18.680
<v Speaker 6>to talk white or that you're trying to be white,

0:41:18.800 --> 0:41:20.600
<v Speaker 6>but code switching means that you're trying to fit in.

0:41:20.880 --> 0:41:23.040
<v Speaker 6>And so when it does happen that you are black

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:26.120
<v Speaker 6>and you code switch in white spaces, you're doing that

0:41:26.160 --> 0:41:32.360
<v Speaker 6>because you have an internalized assumption that the people around

0:41:32.400 --> 0:41:34.480
<v Speaker 6>you are not going to accept you for speaking in

0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:36.840
<v Speaker 6>the way that you naturally speak as a black person,

0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:39.239
<v Speaker 6>or using the vernacular that you use that you've been

0:41:39.239 --> 0:41:41.400
<v Speaker 6>taught to use as a black person, that you have

0:41:41.480 --> 0:41:45.880
<v Speaker 6>to kind of change your identity, to shrink your identity

0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.919
<v Speaker 6>in order to fit in better with those folks, when

0:41:49.480 --> 0:41:52.160
<v Speaker 6>you shouldn't have to because the work should speak for itself.

0:41:52.360 --> 0:41:54.760
<v Speaker 6>If you're the CEO of a company, you're a black CEO,

0:41:54.880 --> 0:41:58.239
<v Speaker 6>and you come in talking like you know whatever, are

0:41:58.280 --> 0:41:59.920
<v Speaker 6>you going to be afraid that the white people that

0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:01.920
<v Speaker 6>work under you are not going to take you seriously?

0:42:01.960 --> 0:42:04.360
<v Speaker 6>And so you're gonna have to use a different type

0:42:04.360 --> 0:42:06.839
<v Speaker 6>of voice or a different type of language in order

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:09.759
<v Speaker 6>to get them to pay attention to what you're doing,

0:42:09.800 --> 0:42:11.440
<v Speaker 6>even if you're the best at what you do.

0:42:13.160 --> 0:42:15.120
<v Speaker 1>I understand that, but I understand it. But this is

0:42:15.120 --> 0:42:18.200
<v Speaker 1>my challenge though. Right if I say to you or

0:42:18.320 --> 0:42:22.960
<v Speaker 1>you right now, while you do this good as a woman,

0:42:23.000 --> 0:42:24.799
<v Speaker 1>you should do this like a woman. Do that like

0:42:24.800 --> 0:42:26.279
<v Speaker 1>a woman? How does that make you feel?

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:27.319
<v Speaker 5>People do that?

0:42:27.360 --> 0:42:29.240
<v Speaker 1>I just ask the question, though I asked to answer

0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:32.360
<v Speaker 1>the question. If I say to you, do this like

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:33.960
<v Speaker 1>a woman, you do that like a woman, don't that

0:42:34.040 --> 0:42:36.080
<v Speaker 1>make you feel like that person's putting you in a box?

0:42:36.320 --> 0:42:36.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:42:36.640 --> 0:42:40.239
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, So when we say the black man, you don't

0:42:40.239 --> 0:42:42.120
<v Speaker 1>talk like a black man, what do you think that

0:42:42.200 --> 0:42:43.960
<v Speaker 1>does to us? It puts us in a box. When

0:42:43.960 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 1>you say a black man talks like a black man,

0:42:47.160 --> 0:42:49.319
<v Speaker 1>it puts us in a box. What I'm saying is

0:42:49.320 --> 0:42:51.399
<v Speaker 1>is the same way it makes you feel as a woman,

0:42:51.440 --> 0:42:54.520
<v Speaker 1>when someone puts a label on you, it puts us

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:58.000
<v Speaker 1>in the same box when you tell us as a

0:42:58.040 --> 0:43:00.560
<v Speaker 1>black man, you speak like a black man? What does

0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:02.719
<v Speaker 1>that even mean? Like right now you just put like

0:43:02.760 --> 0:43:05.680
<v Speaker 1>I only am supposed to speak this way. I'm just

0:43:05.760 --> 0:43:08.359
<v Speaker 1>saying that I think that it's problematic. I'm not saying

0:43:08.360 --> 0:43:11.280
<v Speaker 1>that it's going anywhere. I'm not saying that it doesn't

0:43:11.320 --> 0:43:14.160
<v Speaker 1>exist for women because it does the same way I said,

0:43:14.560 --> 0:43:16.560
<v Speaker 1>how does it make you feel? And your first response

0:43:16.600 --> 0:43:18.520
<v Speaker 1>is will people still do that? Doing it make you

0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:22.200
<v Speaker 1>feel bad? That's because it's problematic. That's what I'm saying

0:43:22.239 --> 0:43:24.920
<v Speaker 1>is that this whole idea of a black person has

0:43:24.960 --> 0:43:28.239
<v Speaker 1>to speak a black way that is problematic. I'm not

0:43:28.239 --> 0:43:30.600
<v Speaker 1>saying that it doesn't exist, the saying is problematic.

0:43:30.760 --> 0:43:32.520
<v Speaker 2>What I was agreeing with with Triple just now saying

0:43:32.560 --> 0:43:34.239
<v Speaker 2>is that if a black man, for example, were to

0:43:34.320 --> 0:43:36.760
<v Speaker 2>walk into an office with his white counterparts, and maybe

0:43:36.800 --> 0:43:39.239
<v Speaker 2>he's in some sort of role where he's trying to

0:43:39.320 --> 0:43:41.600
<v Speaker 2>be a leader or he wants a leadership role in

0:43:41.600 --> 0:43:44.920
<v Speaker 2>space and he doesn't speak, you know, or code switch,

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:48.920
<v Speaker 2>then a lot of times in those particular circumstances, maybe

0:43:48.920 --> 0:43:50.719
<v Speaker 2>they may not take him seriously or may not think

0:43:50.760 --> 0:43:55.280
<v Speaker 2>that understood the job. He has shown improved and already

0:43:55.320 --> 0:43:58.000
<v Speaker 2>has some kind of status, you know, with certain people

0:43:58.080 --> 0:44:00.759
<v Speaker 2>in general, when you reach a certain status, you could

0:44:00.760 --> 0:44:02.440
<v Speaker 2>talk however you want to talk. So I feel like

0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:05.040
<v Speaker 2>Ryan Cooler, for example, is that like he's just like Yo,

0:44:05.080 --> 0:44:06.600
<v Speaker 2>I could talk my shit, however, I want to talk

0:44:06.640 --> 0:44:10.040
<v Speaker 2>my shit right now to whoever in whatever space, because

0:44:10.120 --> 0:44:13.080
<v Speaker 2>this is who I am, and I have this movie

0:44:13.120 --> 0:44:16.359
<v Speaker 2>that has been historic behind me that nobody can't tell

0:44:16.360 --> 0:44:18.480
<v Speaker 2>me about. So that's what I was agreeing with you

0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:20.040
<v Speaker 2>when you said that it's like, Yo, you walk into

0:44:20.080 --> 0:44:22.719
<v Speaker 2>a space and you haven't shown improved yourself yet, then yeah,

0:44:22.760 --> 0:44:24.759
<v Speaker 2>you may have to code switch along the way to

0:44:24.760 --> 0:44:25.480
<v Speaker 2>get to where you got to.

0:44:25.520 --> 0:44:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Im in agreement with everything y'all said. All I'm saying

0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:30.200
<v Speaker 1>is that it's problematic, and y'all are not trying to

0:44:30.239 --> 0:44:31.440
<v Speaker 1>see how problematic it is.

0:44:31.560 --> 0:44:33.000
<v Speaker 2>You see it, I'm saying about it.

0:44:33.040 --> 0:44:35.640
<v Speaker 1>But what I'm saying is is that Triple still hasn't

0:44:35.640 --> 0:44:37.480
<v Speaker 1>said it's problematic, because.

0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:39.719
<v Speaker 6>I don't think that it's problematic. And I don't think

0:44:39.760 --> 0:44:42.680
<v Speaker 6>that black dialect is a problematic thing. I don't think

0:44:42.680 --> 0:44:44.880
<v Speaker 6>that acknowledging that there is a such thing as black

0:44:44.960 --> 0:44:46.319
<v Speaker 6>dialect is a problematic thing.

0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:46.760
<v Speaker 5>I don't.

0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:48.959
<v Speaker 1>I don't, and that's fine. We don't have to agree.

0:44:49.040 --> 0:44:50.840
<v Speaker 2>I just think we've acknowledged it right that it is

0:44:50.840 --> 0:44:51.280
<v Speaker 2>a problem.

0:44:51.360 --> 0:44:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Are you saying that she doesn't think that it's a problem.

0:44:53.960 --> 0:44:55.040
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying. You're missing.

0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:57.439
<v Speaker 6>I'm not saying that all black people have to speak

0:44:57.440 --> 0:44:59.920
<v Speaker 6>a certain way. I think that you brought up the

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:04.720
<v Speaker 6>femininity or doing things like a woman. That's a great example,

0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:07.680
<v Speaker 6>because that is something that I have also had to do.

0:45:07.840 --> 0:45:13.320
<v Speaker 6>I'm not particularly feminine, and all through my life in college,

0:45:13.400 --> 0:45:17.279
<v Speaker 6>especially being in a sorority, I would make myself more

0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:19.400
<v Speaker 6>feminine in ways that did not feel comfortable for me.

0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:24.520
<v Speaker 6>But as I got stronger in my identity and understood

0:45:24.560 --> 0:45:27.160
<v Speaker 6>that this is my version of femininity, I don't have

0:45:27.200 --> 0:45:28.879
<v Speaker 6>to conform to somebody else's version.

0:45:31.000 --> 0:45:33.920
<v Speaker 2>People it's a triple. Do you think that people make

0:45:34.000 --> 0:45:36.600
<v Speaker 2>assumptions about you just off of how you naturally present,

0:45:36.760 --> 0:45:39.200
<v Speaker 2>which is I'm not sure in spaces that you're in,

0:45:39.239 --> 0:45:41.120
<v Speaker 2>what like, what feedback do you get from people with

0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:43.920
<v Speaker 2>just how you show up. We're a woman that some

0:45:43.960 --> 0:45:46.040
<v Speaker 2>people may not know when they look at you that

0:45:46.120 --> 0:45:46.680
<v Speaker 2>you are.

0:45:48.000 --> 0:45:48.960
<v Speaker 5>I mean all types.

0:45:49.239 --> 0:45:52.200
<v Speaker 6>I'm not, like I said, like, I'm not particularly feminine

0:45:52.400 --> 0:45:54.600
<v Speaker 6>in the way that I speak, or the way that

0:45:54.640 --> 0:45:57.880
<v Speaker 6>I walk, and or you know what I'm saying, the

0:45:58.200 --> 0:45:59.440
<v Speaker 6>way that I relate to other people.

0:45:59.440 --> 0:46:03.640
<v Speaker 5>People always say.

0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:05.640
<v Speaker 6>But I know that the women that I grew up around,

0:46:06.480 --> 0:46:08.480
<v Speaker 6>I get my effeminity from them.

0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:10.400
<v Speaker 5>So this is my version of femininity.

0:46:11.280 --> 0:46:14.040
<v Speaker 6>I think that the same thing comes with language the

0:46:14.120 --> 0:46:17.640
<v Speaker 6>places that you grow up, That's how you learn to communicate,

0:46:17.680 --> 0:46:19.440
<v Speaker 6>That's how you learn to speak if you grow up

0:46:19.480 --> 0:46:20.600
<v Speaker 6>in you know what I'm saying.

0:46:20.640 --> 0:46:21.319
<v Speaker 5>So I don't know.

0:46:21.760 --> 0:46:26.760
<v Speaker 6>I have learned over the years to celebrate the ways

0:46:27.320 --> 0:46:30.359
<v Speaker 6>the parts of my identity and the way that they

0:46:30.400 --> 0:46:33.279
<v Speaker 6>are instead of trying to assimilate or instead of trying

0:46:33.280 --> 0:46:35.560
<v Speaker 6>to code switch, instead of trying to make other people

0:46:35.640 --> 0:46:36.640
<v Speaker 6>comfortable with me.

0:46:37.760 --> 0:46:39.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's take me as I am.

0:46:39.760 --> 0:46:41.560
<v Speaker 6>Take me as I am, and you can either you

0:46:41.800 --> 0:46:43.840
<v Speaker 6>can work on your own comfort.

0:46:43.840 --> 0:46:45.839
<v Speaker 5>I'm not gonna do that for you. That's your work.

0:46:45.880 --> 0:46:46.480
<v Speaker 5>It's my mind.

0:46:46.880 --> 0:46:50.560
<v Speaker 6>I'm comfortable. I'm working on my comfort, you work on yours.

0:46:50.880 --> 0:46:53.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, anything anything else that we have to say as

0:46:53.680 --> 0:46:58.040
<v Speaker 2>we round out code switching, really really good insightful conversation here.

0:46:59.760 --> 0:47:02.640
<v Speaker 1>To be honest, bro, I understand where Trible is coming from,

0:47:02.760 --> 0:47:03.759
<v Speaker 1>Like I underst just.

0:47:03.680 --> 0:47:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Want to say it's problematic. No, no, no, no problematic y'all.

0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:11.719
<v Speaker 1>I want to say that it's problematic.

0:47:11.800 --> 0:47:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Trier experience.

0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:16.120
<v Speaker 1>My experience is different. And to be honest, that's the

0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:19.520
<v Speaker 1>whole point of having a podcast is that we don't

0:47:19.560 --> 0:47:23.280
<v Speaker 1>have to agree. Her perspective is no less more important

0:47:23.320 --> 0:47:25.959
<v Speaker 1>than mine. Is just different. And that's the most important part.

0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:28.200
<v Speaker 1>That's how you feel trouble oh shit, based on what

0:47:28.320 --> 0:47:30.560
<v Speaker 1>you've been through, based on what you're saying. I can

0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:33.759
<v Speaker 1>understand that, which I can understand that from my perspective.

0:47:33.760 --> 0:47:36.680
<v Speaker 1>I just think it's problematic. Like the fact that even

0:47:36.760 --> 0:47:39.520
<v Speaker 1>even the fact that we had to have a conversation

0:47:39.920 --> 0:47:41.879
<v Speaker 1>me and Matt watched the whole thing and talked about

0:47:41.880 --> 0:47:45.439
<v Speaker 1>the seventy millimeter and the IMAX thing, and it was cool, right.

0:47:45.840 --> 0:47:47.560
<v Speaker 1>The fact that the internet is talking about how he

0:47:47.600 --> 0:47:50.439
<v Speaker 1>talks and still don't understand the difference in the preferations

0:47:50.520 --> 0:47:55.200
<v Speaker 1>of the film is the problem. That's why it was problematic,

0:47:55.320 --> 0:47:57.839
<v Speaker 1>was because y'all don't even understand that he sat down

0:47:57.880 --> 0:48:00.399
<v Speaker 1>for seven minutes and explain the difference in the prefaces.

0:48:00.440 --> 0:48:02.759
<v Speaker 1>And all black people said was that niggas sound like

0:48:02.760 --> 0:48:05.160
<v Speaker 1>he's from Oakland, because that's my nigga. And I'm like,

0:48:05.800 --> 0:48:08.320
<v Speaker 1>did y'all go see the movie? Do y'all understand differently?

0:48:08.640 --> 0:48:10.839
<v Speaker 1>But I do understand where Triple's coming from. Is like,

0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:14.479
<v Speaker 1>I was prideful. And the fact that he did sound

0:48:14.640 --> 0:48:15.360
<v Speaker 1>like himself.

0:48:15.480 --> 0:48:17.480
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, And the fact that people don't know what he's

0:48:17.520 --> 0:48:20.960
<v Speaker 6>talking about is probably the reason why they were so

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:23.400
<v Speaker 6>proud in that moment. They were like, Wow, he's getting

0:48:23.440 --> 0:48:27.439
<v Speaker 6>super technical. He is a expert in his field. Sure,

0:48:27.680 --> 0:48:29.560
<v Speaker 6>And I don't know what he's talking about because I've

0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:31.759
<v Speaker 6>never studied this and I never even thought to do that.

0:48:32.000 --> 0:48:34.000
<v Speaker 6>But the thing that I can relate to is that

0:48:34.040 --> 0:48:35.840
<v Speaker 6>this is a black man explaining to me something that

0:48:35.880 --> 0:48:37.440
<v Speaker 6>I've never heard of before.

0:48:37.920 --> 0:48:40.040
<v Speaker 1>I think that people just make me pride.

0:48:41.239 --> 0:48:42.960
<v Speaker 2>He's not a rolling out. Oh he started rolling out

0:48:42.960 --> 0:48:44.880
<v Speaker 2>all the different fields and stuff. I was just like

0:48:45.800 --> 0:48:47.920
<v Speaker 2>you say, Okay, good glad we saw it.

0:48:47.920 --> 0:48:52.120
<v Speaker 6>In seventy and especially in a time where we are

0:48:52.200 --> 0:48:55.239
<v Speaker 6>right now, where DEI and stuff is being pushed back

0:48:55.320 --> 0:48:57.920
<v Speaker 6>because white people think that black.

0:48:57.680 --> 0:48:59.320
<v Speaker 5>People are just giving what we have.

0:48:59.480 --> 0:49:00.479
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, and you.

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:04.120
<v Speaker 6>Watched Ryan Coogler talk about his craft and the technical aspects,

0:49:04.120 --> 0:49:05.879
<v Speaker 6>and you think, oh, this nigger.

0:49:05.560 --> 0:49:06.640
<v Speaker 5>Did go to film school.

0:49:06.680 --> 0:49:07.520
<v Speaker 1>He has been.

0:49:07.400 --> 0:49:10.800
<v Speaker 5>Doing this for a long time over here exactly.

0:49:11.000 --> 0:49:14.640
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, I think being proud of being it's true

0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:18.000
<v Speaker 6>to our identity and the best at what we do.

0:49:18.200 --> 0:49:20.920
<v Speaker 6>I mean, yeah, I'm gonna be like yeah, and that

0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:24.120
<v Speaker 6>nigg got brain period period.

0:49:24.880 --> 0:49:28.160
<v Speaker 2>All Right, y'all, great conversation. Let's go take another break,

0:49:28.200 --> 0:49:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Payson Bills and come back into listener letter. We'll be back.

0:49:44.520 --> 0:49:46.520
<v Speaker 2>All right, now we're back, but Listener Letters, let's see

0:49:46.560 --> 0:49:50.239
<v Speaker 2>what we're talking about this week. Hi, I really need

0:49:50.239 --> 0:49:52.600
<v Speaker 2>some advice about my marriage. I'm twenty six years old

0:49:52.600 --> 0:49:55.000
<v Speaker 2>and my husband is twenty seven. We've been together for

0:49:55.000 --> 0:49:58.520
<v Speaker 2>eleven years, but going on three years of marriage. Eleven years,

0:49:58.520 --> 0:50:03.920
<v Speaker 2>so that was earlier fifteen. Yeah, okay, we recently had

0:50:03.920 --> 0:50:05.880
<v Speaker 2>our second child, and I'm trying to keep the dating

0:50:05.920 --> 0:50:09.200
<v Speaker 2>aspect of marriage alive. Lately, it feels like we put

0:50:09.239 --> 0:50:11.799
<v Speaker 2>our children before our marriage. For example, when we have

0:50:11.840 --> 0:50:13.959
<v Speaker 2>a conversation, it will most likely be about the kids

0:50:14.040 --> 0:50:16.399
<v Speaker 2>rather than us. There are even times when we put

0:50:16.440 --> 0:50:18.400
<v Speaker 2>the kids to bed and finally have alone time, we

0:50:18.480 --> 0:50:20.400
<v Speaker 2>discuss what we have to do for the kids, like

0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:23.759
<v Speaker 2>doctor's appointments, etc. I'm not a selfish person. I love

0:50:23.800 --> 0:50:26.040
<v Speaker 2>talking about the joy that our kids bring us, but

0:50:26.080 --> 0:50:28.279
<v Speaker 2>I don't always want them to be the topic of conversation.

0:50:28.800 --> 0:50:31.200
<v Speaker 2>I just want the relationship to somewhat get back to

0:50:31.239 --> 0:50:34.120
<v Speaker 2>how it was before we got married and had kids. Deval,

0:50:34.239 --> 0:50:36.000
<v Speaker 2>I love the way you treat Kadeen, and you guys

0:50:36.120 --> 0:50:38.399
<v Speaker 2>still have fun with one another like you guys did

0:50:38.440 --> 0:50:40.719
<v Speaker 2>before the kids. I thought about going out on a

0:50:40.800 --> 0:50:42.840
<v Speaker 2>date once a month, but I'm not sure that that

0:50:42.880 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 2>will be enough. Please give me some advice as to

0:50:45.600 --> 0:50:49.239
<v Speaker 2>how I can put my marriage before my children. Love

0:50:49.280 --> 0:50:51.680
<v Speaker 2>you guys, and make God continue to bless you and

0:50:51.880 --> 0:50:57.239
<v Speaker 2>your family. Yeah's did you read the book? Did you

0:50:57.360 --> 0:51:01.560
<v Speaker 2>read We Overhurt Me? There is literally a chapter in

0:51:01.680 --> 0:51:03.080
<v Speaker 2>here that says.

0:51:03.600 --> 0:51:06.160
<v Speaker 1>The kids don't come fir.

0:51:06.000 --> 0:51:09.200
<v Speaker 2>First, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you

0:51:09.320 --> 0:51:12.719
<v Speaker 2>realize that if your unit as husband and wife is

0:51:12.760 --> 0:51:15.680
<v Speaker 2>not strong. So the thing is I realized through this

0:51:15.719 --> 0:51:18.799
<v Speaker 2>conversation here, well through their listening letter itself, that it

0:51:18.800 --> 0:51:20.759
<v Speaker 2>didn't seem that there's a problem. It's just that the

0:51:20.840 --> 0:51:23.239
<v Speaker 2>children tend to always be the topic of conversation. So

0:51:23.280 --> 0:51:24.960
<v Speaker 2>it looks like maybe since you have to initiate the

0:51:25.040 --> 0:51:27.560
<v Speaker 2>date night where you say to hubby, like, listen, the

0:51:27.640 --> 0:51:29.160
<v Speaker 2>kids are off the table, the kids are fine. The

0:51:29.239 --> 0:51:31.920
<v Speaker 2>kids will be fine, They'll be there. Now, let's tap

0:51:32.000 --> 0:51:34.160
<v Speaker 2>back into us, because that's several times the conversation de

0:51:34.239 --> 0:51:34.920
<v Speaker 2>valen I would have.

0:51:35.400 --> 0:51:37.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we I mean, bottom line is me and me

0:51:37.840 --> 0:51:40.160
<v Speaker 1>and Matt talked about this being when Matt newly married.

0:51:41.239 --> 0:51:44.160
<v Speaker 1>Your partner wants to be desired. That's not a man

0:51:44.239 --> 0:51:47.040
<v Speaker 1>or woman thing, that's just a partner thing. Your partner

0:51:47.080 --> 0:51:48.960
<v Speaker 1>wants to be desired, Which means when you're at the

0:51:48.960 --> 0:51:51.479
<v Speaker 1>table for dinner and you're at your phone talking about

0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:53.920
<v Speaker 1>the kids or something, you're not desiring your partner. Right

0:51:54.120 --> 0:51:56.120
<v Speaker 1>if your mind is somewhere else and you're thinking about

0:51:56.160 --> 0:51:58.440
<v Speaker 1>what the kids have to do. You're not desiring your partner,

0:51:58.640 --> 0:52:00.839
<v Speaker 1>talk about what your partner is in interested in. If

0:52:00.840 --> 0:52:03.520
<v Speaker 1>your partner is interested in theater and makeup or whatever

0:52:03.560 --> 0:52:06.160
<v Speaker 1>it is, Find whatever your partner is interested in so

0:52:06.200 --> 0:52:08.880
<v Speaker 1>that they can feel desirable. We should do a whole

0:52:08.920 --> 0:52:13.120
<v Speaker 1>topic on that about helping your partners stay desirable, because

0:52:13.120 --> 0:52:15.520
<v Speaker 1>we talked about that as men. But the funny thing

0:52:15.560 --> 0:52:18.600
<v Speaker 1>is that it like spiraled into like, well, how does

0:52:18.640 --> 0:52:21.000
<v Speaker 1>your wife want to be desirable? And then me and

0:52:21.040 --> 0:52:22.920
<v Speaker 1>Matt was talking about that in the gym, So that's

0:52:22.960 --> 0:52:23.640
<v Speaker 1>actually a good.

0:52:23.520 --> 0:52:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Episode, Like y'all were working on your bodies.

0:52:26.600 --> 0:52:31.160
<v Speaker 1>No matter of fact, it literally wasn't there no shirt

0:52:31.200 --> 0:52:34.279
<v Speaker 1>on polls together talking about like yo, like we as

0:52:34.360 --> 0:52:42.520
<v Speaker 1>men want to look steps Josh here stoops and too

0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:44.359
<v Speaker 1>because he's not in shape.

0:52:46.040 --> 0:52:49.240
<v Speaker 2>Josh, but innocent bystander.

0:52:49.440 --> 0:52:51.680
<v Speaker 1>We were talking about how like we trying to make

0:52:51.719 --> 0:52:54.600
<v Speaker 1>ourselves more desirable for y'all. But then it was just like, yo,

0:52:54.719 --> 0:52:57.880
<v Speaker 1>like y'all want to be desirable too, because when did

0:52:57.880 --> 0:53:01.160
<v Speaker 1>you take christ to that day to the batting cage?

0:53:01.680 --> 0:53:03.560
<v Speaker 1>He took us to the batting cage because that's something

0:53:03.640 --> 0:53:06.200
<v Speaker 1>she wanted to do, and it was almost the idea

0:53:06.280 --> 0:53:08.279
<v Speaker 1>of like, yo, like she wants to be desirable, I'm

0:53:08.280 --> 0:53:09.839
<v Speaker 1>gonna take her to what she wants to do so

0:53:09.880 --> 0:53:13.840
<v Speaker 1>she can live in this space of feeling seen. And

0:53:13.920 --> 0:53:16.200
<v Speaker 1>so many times being desirable has nothing to do with

0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:19.200
<v Speaker 1>how you look, but just being seen by your parser.

0:53:19.280 --> 0:53:21.560
<v Speaker 2>So then think about that. Since who wrote in here, like,

0:53:21.640 --> 0:53:24.040
<v Speaker 2>maybe think about a way that your partner can be

0:53:24.080 --> 0:53:26.920
<v Speaker 2>seen and it's something specific just for your partner. There

0:53:26.960 --> 0:53:29.600
<v Speaker 2>you go that they're into whatever it is they're into,

0:53:29.960 --> 0:53:32.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, billiards, So you go to a billiards hall

0:53:32.600 --> 0:53:35.480
<v Speaker 2>and you play, and then that might take away the

0:53:35.640 --> 0:53:38.240
<v Speaker 2>parent aspect and the children from it and they feel

0:53:38.239 --> 0:53:40.719
<v Speaker 2>like themselves again, you know. And that's ultimately I think

0:53:40.760 --> 0:53:43.760
<v Speaker 2>what within marriage you're always trying to chase still feeling

0:53:43.800 --> 0:53:46.360
<v Speaker 2>like yourself, but still being a contributing member to your

0:53:46.560 --> 0:53:49.080
<v Speaker 2>partnership as well as your family. So good luck. I

0:53:49.080 --> 0:53:50.560
<v Speaker 2>don't think that you have too many issues here. The

0:53:50.560 --> 0:53:52.479
<v Speaker 2>fact that you guys have been together this long, since

0:53:52.520 --> 0:53:55.080
<v Speaker 2>that young and are still doing well. I just tap

0:53:55.160 --> 0:53:59.240
<v Speaker 2>back in because there's longevity in that were proof. All right, y'all,

0:54:00.400 --> 0:54:01.239
<v Speaker 2>shall we wrap it up?

0:54:01.280 --> 0:54:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Honey?

0:54:02.440 --> 0:54:04.200
<v Speaker 2>You tell me what Okay, so moment of truth time.

0:54:04.280 --> 0:54:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Let's jump into that.

0:54:05.040 --> 0:54:06.640
<v Speaker 1>But now, if you'd like to be featured as one

0:54:06.680 --> 0:54:09.399
<v Speaker 1>of our listeners, email us at E L O I

0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:13.600
<v Speaker 1>S A D V I C E at gmail dot com.

0:54:13.680 --> 0:54:16.200
<v Speaker 1>Kate don't even want to do a job no more.

0:54:15.640 --> 0:54:19.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. I'm getting over this sinus affection. So I'm

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:20.200
<v Speaker 2>so struggling a.

0:54:20.120 --> 0:54:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Bit green that came out. That's why she went green.

0:54:22.520 --> 0:54:23.000
<v Speaker 1>She dressed like.

0:54:25.600 --> 0:54:28.120
<v Speaker 2>The value are crazy. I'm sorry, y'all if I sound

0:54:28.200 --> 0:54:30.239
<v Speaker 2>a little funny and I may be a little out

0:54:30.280 --> 0:54:31.600
<v Speaker 2>of it today, that's that's it.

0:54:31.960 --> 0:54:35.799
<v Speaker 1>You came through for them, I.

0:54:35.760 --> 0:54:38.680
<v Speaker 2>Said, everybody's in town. Josh flew into town. Matt said,

0:54:38.719 --> 0:54:41.000
<v Speaker 2>all this ship up I had to make, So give

0:54:41.000 --> 0:54:43.760
<v Speaker 2>me a little grace today, y'all. I'm definitely on meds

0:54:43.760 --> 0:54:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and you know, barely making it. Didn't sleep well, all right,

0:54:46.920 --> 0:54:48.480
<v Speaker 2>So now we can get into moment of truth. Thank you,

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:49.840
<v Speaker 2>baby for picking up what I dropped.

0:54:50.080 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's just all right, baby, I always picking up

0:54:51.760 --> 0:54:52.799
<v Speaker 1>you dropping in a lot.

0:54:53.920 --> 0:54:55.879
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's finish out with a quick moment of truth.

0:54:55.960 --> 0:54:57.520
<v Speaker 2>Let's start with trouble.

0:54:58.480 --> 0:55:03.080
<v Speaker 5>Moment of truth. How however, you are black, you deserve

0:55:03.160 --> 0:55:05.400
<v Speaker 5>the world. Be yourself, period.

0:55:05.719 --> 0:55:06.440
<v Speaker 2>I like that one.

0:55:06.560 --> 0:55:08.960
<v Speaker 1>However, you are black, you deserve the world. Put that

0:55:09.080 --> 0:55:09.680
<v Speaker 1>on the shirt.

0:55:10.040 --> 0:55:12.279
<v Speaker 2>The shirt well trible, we talked about your shirt.

0:55:12.800 --> 0:55:15.320
<v Speaker 1>However, you are black, you deserve that.

0:55:15.440 --> 0:55:16.399
<v Speaker 2>You need to start the list.

0:55:16.719 --> 0:55:17.399
<v Speaker 5>I have a list.

0:55:17.840 --> 0:55:20.400
<v Speaker 1>Good good, that's trouble. That's what you should be.

0:55:20.440 --> 0:55:21.560
<v Speaker 2>How I want mine to say?

0:55:22.000 --> 0:55:22.480
<v Speaker 3>I like that.

0:55:23.120 --> 0:55:26.800
<v Speaker 2>I want one that says okay with okay triple just

0:55:26.840 --> 0:55:29.200
<v Speaker 2>put that down there, thank you, okay, Josh, your turn?

0:55:29.640 --> 0:55:33.080
<v Speaker 3>All right, So Mama wanted. Truth is coach bsiness. Coach

0:55:33.160 --> 0:55:36.600
<v Speaker 3>business is okay. But doing with it you make an accent.

0:55:37.880 --> 0:55:40.480
<v Speaker 7>That's funny because that was gonna be my moment. You

0:55:40.680 --> 0:55:42.839
<v Speaker 7>have to speak properly when you go into people place.

0:55:46.080 --> 0:55:48.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you if you are talking properly and

0:55:48.560 --> 0:55:51.560
<v Speaker 2>you say something like blood clotch, does there you go?

0:55:54.880 --> 0:55:55.120
<v Speaker 3>Josh?

0:55:55.360 --> 0:56:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Can you please lock off the blood closs camera? Thank you, Josh, period.

0:56:04.760 --> 0:56:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I like that.

0:56:06.040 --> 0:56:11.799
<v Speaker 2>Matt, he took mine, baby, my.

0:56:11.880 --> 0:56:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Moment of truth. I'm actually gonna piggyback off of Josh

0:56:14.200 --> 0:56:17.320
<v Speaker 1>Man like code Switshing has more to do about the

0:56:17.440 --> 0:56:20.719
<v Speaker 1>environment you're in than you yourself. So remain true to

0:56:20.800 --> 0:56:23.920
<v Speaker 1>who you are, but be able to move in any environment,

0:56:24.400 --> 0:56:25.840
<v Speaker 1>because if you're black, you deserve.

0:56:25.640 --> 0:56:29.920
<v Speaker 2>The world, period. And for me, it just piggybacks off

0:56:29.960 --> 0:56:31.840
<v Speaker 2>of that and goes back to my soundbit at the

0:56:32.000 --> 0:56:33.840
<v Speaker 2>very beginning. There is a time and place for everything,

0:56:34.160 --> 0:56:36.359
<v Speaker 2>So do what you're comfortable with, but never change who

0:56:36.400 --> 0:56:39.640
<v Speaker 2>you are, all right, y'all? I love that for us.

0:56:39.960 --> 0:56:43.759
<v Speaker 2>Patreon Ganggang, what's up y'all been tapping in and we love, love,

0:56:43.880 --> 0:56:46.080
<v Speaker 2>love to have y'all. Be sure to find us on

0:56:46.160 --> 0:56:48.480
<v Speaker 2>Patreon if you are not there yet to see the

0:56:48.600 --> 0:56:52.720
<v Speaker 2>after show and more exclusive Ellis ever After podcast content,

0:56:53.080 --> 0:56:55.280
<v Speaker 2>and you can find us on social media at Ellis

0:56:55.560 --> 0:56:56.360
<v Speaker 2>ever After.

0:56:56.840 --> 0:56:59.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm Kaden, I am and I am devou And if

0:56:59.040 --> 0:57:02.400
<v Speaker 1>you're listening on Apple Podcast, be sure to rate, review

0:57:03.040 --> 0:57:03.839
<v Speaker 1>and subscribe.

0:57:04.840 --> 0:57:06.919
<v Speaker 7>Yeah he did it again, y'all. He forgot to ask

0:57:07.000 --> 0:57:10.279
<v Speaker 7>y'all what to follow us Ellis.

0:57:12.800 --> 0:57:17.240
<v Speaker 3>Y'all scoring Matt dot Ellis follow all right. You can

0:57:17.320 --> 0:57:26.040
<v Speaker 3>double click on my flex at Joshua Duane you had it,

0:57:28.040 --> 0:57:33.440
<v Speaker 3>didn't practice this morning when he said it to think

0:57:33.520 --> 0:57:35.720
<v Speaker 3>about you. You could double click on my flicks at

0:57:35.800 --> 0:57:38.240
<v Speaker 3>Joshua Underscore Dwayne period.

0:57:38.160 --> 0:57:38.440
<v Speaker 7>Like that.

0:57:40.320 --> 0:57:42.800
<v Speaker 5>I'm at trips, the Cool t R I B b Z,

0:57:43.000 --> 0:57:44.800
<v Speaker 5>the Cool on everything.

0:57:44.960 --> 0:57:47.800
<v Speaker 2>Because she's just so cool, y'all. All right, we'll see

0:57:47.800 --> 0:57:48.320
<v Speaker 2>you next time.

0:57:49.000 --> 0:57:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Dead Ass.

0:57:51.720 --> 0:57:57.600
<v Speaker 6>Cut Ellis ever Apter is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted

0:57:57.680 --> 0:58:02.240
<v Speaker 6>by Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,

0:58:02.400 --> 0:58:06.880
<v Speaker 6>production by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by

0:58:07.000 --> 0:58:07.760
<v Speaker 6>Lachan Roe.

0:59:04.760 --> 0:59:25.800
<v Speaker 8>Has to give the Hans If the Hans in the

0:59:26.120 --> 0:59:26.480
<v Speaker 8>hands

1:00:00.720 --> 1:00:00.959
<v Speaker 2>Gree