Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: I just want to start this off by saying it.
Speaker 1: I am having a very bad day today. Today is
Speaker 1: just not a great day. Does everyone else? How's everyone
Speaker 1: else feeling?
Speaker 2: Well? Not wonderful because today it's very rainy in Los Angeles?
Speaker 3: Really, and I got my booster yesterday, so I'm a
Speaker 3: little bit I feel like I want to.
Speaker 2: Go light out.
Speaker 4: I've heard so terrible.
Speaker 2: It's about the same as the second, my last one.
Speaker 2: It's about the same, which is I'm somewhere between great
Speaker 2: and terrible.
Speaker 5: That's thanks Easton.
Speaker 6: I'm good.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 8: I had that booster like a month or two ago.
Speaker 8: I was fine, baby, I was. I don't think they
Speaker 8: gave me the right one. I think I think they.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to get I'm working on it. Don't
Speaker 4: look at me that crazy. I'm almost there. I'm taller
Speaker 4: than whom everyone was here before.
Speaker 5: How are you, Catherine?
Speaker 4: I'm good.
Speaker 5: You got that microphone figured out there? I hear you can.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the listener is going to hear that too.
Speaker 5: I'm doing it before we start.
Speaker 1: Well, we're actually started, Okay. I told you I'm in
Speaker 1: a bad mood clearly.
Speaker 2: What's the genesis of your bad mood?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 1: I received an email I think by accident, and it
Speaker 1: bothered me because it was someone spending money from my
Speaker 1: past and I just felt like annoyance and just and
Speaker 1: then some things happened after that, and then I just
Speaker 1: I just I just I just am just a lot
Speaker 1: of emotions came up of a resentment and annoyances and
Speaker 1: I'm getting rid of like this like work bench thing
Speaker 1: that he spent a lot of money on, and it
Speaker 1: was like never, it was never.
Speaker 5: I don't know, I mean, I don't even.
Speaker 3: I know it's hard to talk about, but I think
Speaker 3: all of us know exactly what you're saying, and I
Speaker 3: understand how frustrated that would be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I did hear did you say that me
Speaker 1: and Ryan had a connection?
Speaker 2: You know, I feel that there was a vibe there,
Speaker 2: there was something. There's a nice back and forth happening
Speaker 2: with Seacrest. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was on the Sea Crusher, which I was actually
Speaker 1: really nervous about. Did I did I sound nervous?
Speaker 2: You did not seem nervous. No, really, you didn't know,
Speaker 2: you seem you seem great, You were great.
Speaker 5: Oh, thanks but there was great.
Speaker 1: There was a nice back and forth banter, but I
Speaker 1: didn't feel a connection.
Speaker 2: No, no, well hey, well the drawing board.
Speaker 1: No, we're good. Yeah, but anyways, I missed you guys.
Speaker 1: You guys have been gone a few shows.
Speaker 6: Ish.
Speaker 2: It's tough. Your schedule affair is always changing. It's hard
Speaker 2: to keep up.
Speaker 6: Yes, happy to be here today.
Speaker 8: Well that's good, very blessed to be here. I'm being serious.
Speaker 8: I love you any moment with you as a treasure.
Speaker 1: Oh there's so much sarcasm in that.
Speaker 4: I he's just sucking up to you, does it?
Speaker 5: Okay? I have a question.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about gifts for a second, because the
Speaker 1: holiday season is coming up and.
Speaker 5: I Catherine just said I'm.
Speaker 1: Really hard to buy for which I really And here's
Speaker 1: here's here's the thing. Let's just say that you're starting
Speaker 1: to let me let me just do you like to
Speaker 1: get gifts as a man?
Speaker 5: Easton Mark go.
Speaker 6: Receive them or buy them?
Speaker 5: Both?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 8: I like to get them more than I like to
Speaker 8: buy them. I guess so if I'm being honest here.
Speaker 3: Yes, I enjoy receiving gifts. It's great. I'm not great
Speaker 3: at buying them.
Speaker 9: Okay, I will defend men in this one, okay, because
Speaker 9: I think it's really really hard to get it right.
Speaker 9: I think you're you can You're intent can be good,
Speaker 9: like getting shoes, for instance, But are you really gonna
Speaker 9: pick out the shoes that you're.
Speaker 4: Really gonna wear? Want to wear?
Speaker 9: And are you really gonna keep them and wear them
Speaker 9: if they get the shoes that you don't like.
Speaker 1: I've never returned a pair of shoes. Are you gonna
Speaker 1: wear I've always worn them.
Speaker 4: I don't believe you.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna buy you someware don't purposely by the shoes.
Speaker 1: I Why am I so hard to buy for? And
Speaker 1: you're to have to say this, beast, I truly don't
Speaker 1: want anything. Having said that, why are you looking.
Speaker 5: At me like that?
Speaker 4: Because that's not true.
Speaker 1: I just I like to say I mean it. I
Speaker 1: want something meaningful, like you know, my last Christmas is
Speaker 1: like there was. It's like I like to give a
Speaker 1: lot for Christmas to the person that I love. So
Speaker 1: when I receive a the day and Amazon pens back,
Speaker 1: it can be a little hurtful.
Speaker 9: Well, the answer to your question about why you're hard
Speaker 9: to shop for is one is because you are so
Speaker 9: giving with gifts, So there's there's a lot of pressure there,
Speaker 9: I'll be honest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it raises the bar a lot. That's one.
Speaker 9: Two, Like you do have a particular style or a
Speaker 9: particular any girl, any girl.
Speaker 4: That's hard. Like that's why my husband stopped buying me
Speaker 4: because I.
Speaker 9: Took everything back, like you said, like if I didn't
Speaker 9: like it, I'm not going to just keep it and
Speaker 9: waste the money, like if I'm not gonna wear it
Speaker 9: or it sits in the closet. I don't like hurting,
Speaker 9: like I like to pretend like I like it.
Speaker 5: Oh, I pretend because I don't want to hurt his.
Speaker 4: Face because at least he tried, you know.
Speaker 1: Like I remember one year Mike got me like the
Speaker 1: ugliest shirt ever, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 5: My god, I love it. You have to pretend, but
Speaker 5: I love it so much.
Speaker 1: I could never tell someone I don't like their gifts,
Speaker 1: like I just I can't.
Speaker 8: I think that men men are have more of like
Speaker 8: a they have more stuff, their stuff, you know, like
Speaker 8: like Mark Mark likes the Brewers, like I like Captain America,
Speaker 8: Like like men don't grow out of that boy thing,
Speaker 8: and women have much more just a much more discerning
Speaker 8: palate when it comes to the things they like.
Speaker 2: Because we're children, because yes, because.
Speaker 8: Men are children and women are full grown adults that
Speaker 8: like exist in the world. And I think that's why
Speaker 8: it's it's easy to buy for men and harder to
Speaker 8: buy for women.
Speaker 6: That's some navoys thought about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, I think I get that, But I also
Speaker 1: I feel like it is it a fantasy to just
Speaker 1: be like on Christmas morning to open this like beautiful,
Speaker 1: little like delicate piece of jewelry and be like, oh
Speaker 1: my God, thank you and you didn't have to ask
Speaker 1: all my friends and.
Speaker 9: Like, well, no, I mean I don't think it's a
Speaker 9: complete fantasy, but for it to be the perfect exactly
Speaker 9: what you wanted.
Speaker 1: But it's the thought that counts. That's the thing. Like
Speaker 1: I don't care actually what it is. It's like the
Speaker 1: thought and the intention behind.
Speaker 9: It, which I think you mean, But I think the
Speaker 9: pressure on the other end is getting it right.
Speaker 4: Interesting, Like I was even dressed about the necklace I
Speaker 4: got for you.
Speaker 5: I love it and I really.
Speaker 4: Genuinely do, right, but you actually do, but like you
Speaker 4: might not think.
Speaker 1: The prettiest, little daintiest and it's like it's all like
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like it's just like
Speaker 1: write me a beautiful letter and frame it or like
Speaker 1: things like that are so sweet.
Speaker 5: But I'm just saying, what girl doesn't like a little diamond?
Speaker 4: You are there, so do we want diamonds or shoes?
Speaker 1: Anyways, we have an amazing guest in the uh uh
Speaker 1: the waiting room, Jesus, I like with the waiting room.
Speaker 1: We're going to bring her on and we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about mental health because it needs to be talked
Speaker 1: about more so, and then we'll get back to this
Speaker 1: Christmas combo because a certain someone texted Catherine asking for
Speaker 1: a gift idea for me, So stay tuned.
Speaker 5: All right, Hey, Mandy, how.
Speaker 10: Are you, lady good?
Speaker 6: How are you?
Speaker 5: I'm Janna. This is my co host and best friend Catherine.
Speaker 4: Hey, how are you?
Speaker 10: Nice to meet you?
Speaker 5: Nice to meet you, Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: I feel like you have just joined us on the
Speaker 1: perfect day because I woke up in just a funk,
Speaker 1: like a total frickin' funk, you know, just one of
Speaker 1: those days where we're just like, you don't even like
Speaker 1: there's like things that are bothering you. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's just this like blanket over you.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 10: Oh yeah, I get that.
Speaker 7: I get that a lot where you just feel like,
Speaker 7: uh and there's no reason to be like uh.
Speaker 1: Like there's like maybe a little pieces, but it's like
Speaker 1: it's like that shouldn't be bringing me down to like,
Speaker 1: you know, depression town.
Speaker 10: All right, well, let's perk you up there.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, but I but I was, you know,
Speaker 1: I was so excited to have you on because I think,
Speaker 1: you know, what you guys are doing are is incredible,
Speaker 1: and I know I know that it's launching. Wonder Mind
Speaker 1: is launching in February, So could you just kind of
Speaker 1: give a synopsis of what it is to our listeners
Speaker 1: and and what's going to be on Wonderland wonder Mind.
Speaker 7: Yeah, wonder Mine is basically we're creating the first mental
Speaker 7: fitness ecosystem, which for what that means to us is
Speaker 7: we're going to cover all media like daily content, podcasts, film,
Speaker 7: and television, but we're also going to create tangible product,
Speaker 7: so instead of it being an app, it's something that
Speaker 7: will kind of disconnect you. We are thinking about an app,
Speaker 7: but I can't like say for sure if that's going
Speaker 7: to happen. But like tangible products, So what would a
Speaker 7: mental health aisle at target mean and what would it
Speaker 7: look like? And for example, with a tangible product, I
Speaker 7: like to use ADHD because that's what I have, And
Speaker 7: but they give you these big, bulky timers to keep
Speaker 7: you focused.
Speaker 10: So we're going to create like cool little.
Speaker 7: Dice so that like kids will carry them, you can
Speaker 7: put them on your desk. Nobody's going to ask you
Speaker 7: what it is, and so everything is going to be
Speaker 7: We're building.
Speaker 10: Our advisory board, We're going to work.
Speaker 7: With neuroscientists to create new content and not like necessarily
Speaker 7: new verbiage. We're gonna stay aligned with like everything that's
Speaker 7: already been scientifically proven, but also kind of pushed those
Speaker 7: boundaries to, you know, with with the proper people because
Speaker 7: none of us are professionals and we're not here to
Speaker 7: diagnose anyone. We're here to kind of go on that
Speaker 7: journey of learning how you make your mind your mindset,
Speaker 7: that you're more unique than defective. Because people like to
Speaker 7: think as a mental illness. If you're diagnosed with that
Speaker 7: it started back with it used to be religion. If
Speaker 7: you know you had mental health back in the seventeenth century,
Speaker 7: you're demonic. Then you know, the eighteenth century became like unhygienic,
Speaker 7: and so there's always just been this like stigma on
Speaker 7: it where people don't really want to like talk about
Speaker 7: it because also the media ourself has played a role
Speaker 7: in kind of like showing the darkest side of mental
Speaker 7: health with things like Girl in Erupted or One Who
Speaker 7: Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Speaker 10: So I feel like trying.
Speaker 7: To detach some of the apps and some of that
Speaker 7: to build an outside community where we're really touching like
Speaker 7: each other one on one and in person. We want
Speaker 7: them to be able to talk about it. So, like
Speaker 7: our first podcast will be called two and eight, which
Speaker 7: means State of Mind and Cockney, And we're just going
Speaker 7: to have conversations with anybody and everybody about like daily.
Speaker 10: Routines or something.
Speaker 7: They may want to talk about how they overcame something,
Speaker 7: but we're not going to like put a label. If
Speaker 7: someone wants to say, yeah, I'm diagnosed by polar that's
Speaker 7: their right, but we're not going to push it and say, oh,
Speaker 7: we'll have you checked out like this or you know,
Speaker 7: We're just going to have honest conversations to where.
Speaker 10: Where people see that even if you have.
Speaker 7: A diagnosed mental health illness, that you are not broken
Speaker 7: and you can't have a fruitful life like it's going
Speaker 7: to be a journey. It's never going to be fixed.
Speaker 7: So let's how do you exercise your mind? And my partner,
Speaker 7: Danielle as she uses a great metaphor that when you
Speaker 7: are working out and you have a personal trainer, you
Speaker 7: can't not work out the rest of the week, otherwise
Speaker 7: you're not getting that six pack. So your therapist is
Speaker 7: your personal trainer. And some people can't afford to go
Speaker 7: to therapy more than once a month, So what do
Speaker 7: you do in between? And we want to provide some
Speaker 7: of those tools that will be free and accessible because
Speaker 7: we also want to reach the underprivileged communities that don't
Speaker 7: have access to any of it and where the government
Speaker 7: kind of wants to keep it like out because then
Speaker 7: the prison systems are going to fail if all everybody
Speaker 7: starts getting you know, their mental health aligned. So you know,
Speaker 7: that was a long answer to what mental fitness means,
Speaker 7: but it's just becoming part of your daily routine. And
Speaker 7: all of our stuff is going to be done through
Speaker 7: creative Like our journal is a creative journal. It's not
Speaker 7: this morning I woke up failing five. My goal is
Speaker 7: to fill ten because there's so much toxic positivity and
Speaker 7: toxic happiness that you know, when you are dealing with,
Speaker 7: like say depression and you've never dealt with it before,
Speaker 7: you could get it can get misconstrued to where you
Speaker 7: feel like your your you're you know, you're wrong, or
Speaker 7: you're bad or and then you watch other people just saying, oh,
Speaker 7: breathe five times and you're going to be okay, And yeah, breathe.
Speaker 7: Breathing is helpful, but that's not going to fix a
Speaker 7: long term, you know issue you may.
Speaker 5: Have for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what what is the thing that helps you? Like
Speaker 1: they're you know, like for me, like with my physical fitness,
Speaker 1: like I love to run, that also helps my mental
Speaker 1: fitness too, Yes, but what's what's the thing that kind
Speaker 1: of is like is your top that helps you with
Speaker 1: your mental fitness?
Speaker 7: Putting my phone down, not looking at social media? And
Speaker 7: you know, I I try to.
Speaker 10: I try to just like read books.
Speaker 7: Or find like go into my bedroom and kind of
Speaker 7: relax or meditate, and you know I I do.
Speaker 10: I am blessed to be able to have therapy once
Speaker 10: a week and you know, uh.
Speaker 7: CBT DBT cognitive behavioral therapy, where you know, there's there's
Speaker 7: this one thing I learned when I went away to
Speaker 7: treatment that it's a balloon. And so every time you're
Speaker 7: mad at someone, you like draw a picture of that
Speaker 7: person on the balloon and then you pop it and
Speaker 7: you just keep blowing that up and popping that, and
Speaker 7: then eventually the anger goes away and then you could
Speaker 7: make more like decisive decisions on how you're going to
Speaker 7: actually approach that person. So it like, you know, it's
Speaker 7: like the screaming and the pillow, but it's actually a
Speaker 7: lot more fun to pop on with a needle.
Speaker 1: Yes, I need that so badly, Like that would be
Speaker 1: that would be fantastic. Something else you said too with
Speaker 1: the your ADHD that could the time or the counter thing.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I've noticed, like today I even noticed that like
Speaker 1: I kind of got into like a depressed state and
Speaker 1: was you know, I had so much to do and
Speaker 1: I literally just like stared at my computer screen for
Speaker 1: like and stayed in it for like a good few hours,
Speaker 1: and it was like mindlessly like doing stuff. But like
Speaker 1: I just was like and the entire time I had
Speaker 1: was like get up, like get up and go do
Speaker 1: what you have to do, or like either I get
Speaker 1: up do something, you know what I mean, and then
Speaker 1: I but if I could have something that was just
Speaker 1: like you know, I sometimes think of Mel when she
Speaker 1: she's Mel Robins Robins, Yeah, when she's like five four
Speaker 1: three two one, get up, like go and it's like
Speaker 1: sometimes I have to like do things like that, but
Speaker 1: that something tangible like that would be really great to
Speaker 1: like help in those moments. But I just I love
Speaker 1: it because I especially when when you're when we're on
Speaker 1: social media and or the internet or whatever, it'd be
Speaker 1: nice to have a place where you're actually getting things
Speaker 1: that are helpful and not things that are triggering more
Speaker 1: of the stressors and the triggers and the depression and
Speaker 1: all that stuff.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think I think simplifying it is like, you know,
Speaker 7: I'm not talking about like professionals that are aligned trying
Speaker 7: to make change. I'm talking about, you know, more of
Speaker 7: the armchair therapists. Like you know, I've I was misdiagnosed
Speaker 7: bipolar and just found out in my forties. I'm actually
Speaker 7: eighthd with trauma, so I know everything there is to
Speaker 7: know about bipolar. But I'm relearning how my brain functions
Speaker 7: really as ADHD. So I think like when you know,
Speaker 7: I use this example all the time, but like when
Speaker 7: you do the go on the YouTube and these people
Speaker 7: are just like pretending to be a therapists and it's
Speaker 7: like five tips he's a narcissist.
Speaker 10: It's like those are all five tips of me.
Speaker 7: And I don't feel I'm narcissistic. I cry, I have emotions,
Speaker 7: I have empathy. Like, so I think that as kind
Speaker 7: of really we need to take back the language. We
Speaker 7: need to take back the verbiage and kind of like
Speaker 7: gas lighting is so thrown out there, like and do
Speaker 7: some people really know what gas lighting is? Or you
Speaker 7: can't say someone's a sociopath? You know, It's like we're
Speaker 7: all diagnosing each other. And so what I feel is
Speaker 7: what we can do at Wondermine is just all kind
Speaker 7: of talk to each other and and you know, like
Speaker 7: all of us are gonna be honest because we're three
Speaker 7: different women from three different generations that have our own
Speaker 7: successful businesses prior to this, so we wanted to That's
Speaker 7: why the entrepreneur was so important to us, because we're
Speaker 7: showing you can have a diagnose mental illness and.
Speaker 10: Still live a fruitful life.
Speaker 7: You Still it's not I'm not saying it's going to
Speaker 7: be easy, but I feel that that's what some of
Speaker 7: these armchair like therapists do, is like, oh, like if
Speaker 7: you just go out and meditate for ten minutes, it's
Speaker 7: a combination of getting a routine together that can actually.
Speaker 10: Help you.
Speaker 7: In other forms. And so, like we with with kind
Speaker 7: of the app situation, we have done some discovery that
Speaker 7: the reason why some of it like falls off is
Speaker 7: because there is no physical or verbal interaction, and so
Speaker 7: we want to kind of go back to where you know, this.
Speaker 10: Is a child's dream come true.
Speaker 7: But like back in my day, they would like people
Speaker 7: would just show up at your house and you would
Speaker 7: just all hang out with your family and everybody was welcome.
Speaker 7: And now today, like it just seems the more and
Speaker 7: more social media, the more and more enclosed we're getting.
Speaker 7: And when you already have a mental health diagnosis, you
Speaker 7: already feel isolated. So now this isolation that we're all
Speaker 7: experiencing on top of you know, already feeling like no
Speaker 7: one understands you is so dangerous and it's that's that's
Speaker 7: where the toxicity comes in. And we just want to
Speaker 7: share our stories and grow with our listeners, grow with it,
Speaker 7: and like just you know, may may everyone know that
Speaker 7: you're not broken.
Speaker 10: You're not.
Speaker 7: If your religion is like, oh, you're you know, a
Speaker 7: demon when we need to do an exorcism. There's so
Speaker 7: many like barriers that we have to get through that
Speaker 7: our first agenda is just like, let's chill, let's talk,
Speaker 7: let's build these tools that you're not ashamed to use.
Speaker 7: And like our journal I already said it was kind
Speaker 7: of creative or whatever, and but we're going to work
Speaker 7: with neuroscientists on creating all of this content of how
Speaker 7: you may not even feel and you're enjoying working your mind.
Speaker 9: It's such a good point you brought up earlier about
Speaker 9: you know, we talk about therapy a lot on this
Speaker 9: podcast and how fortunate enough we are to go to therapy.
Speaker 9: But I was actually thinking about this before, like how
Speaker 9: many people can truly afford to go to if insurance
Speaker 9: doesn't cover it, you know, every week to therapy or
Speaker 9: every month or you know, I actually have a friend
Speaker 9: who is looking for therapy for two of her sons,
Speaker 9: and she's like, I can't afford that.
Speaker 4: I can't afford to.
Speaker 9: Go every week, you know, but I need they need help,
Speaker 9: you know, and it's it's they need something, you know.
Speaker 9: There has to be something out there for people that
Speaker 9: cannot afford to do that. I mean it's expensive, you know,
Speaker 9: it's a lot more fortunate, but yeah.
Speaker 10: No, it's really expensive.
Speaker 7: And then if you need medication, you've seen a psychologist
Speaker 7: and a psychiatrist, so there's two bills, you know, and
Speaker 7: the psychiatrists talked to you for like fifteen minutes, and
Speaker 7: just to assume the.
Speaker 10: Medication is working. You know.
Speaker 7: I have a very good relationship with my psychiatrists. But
Speaker 7: whenever I finally went away, I had actually for my
Speaker 7: bipolar I was put on anti seizure medication. And when
Speaker 7: I started getting an early menopause, my hormones started changing
Speaker 7: and I was having grand mall seizures from this anti
Speaker 7: seizure medication. And then I was having this medication to
Speaker 7: override this medication, to override this medication, and I just like,
Speaker 7: I took so many sleeping pills because it had been
Speaker 7: like a week and I hadn't slept, and then I
Speaker 7: didn't go to sleep, and I just looked at my
Speaker 7: husband and I said, there's something wrong and it's not
Speaker 7: working like.
Speaker 10: My weekly therapy.
Speaker 7: And I got on a plane and went away and
Speaker 7: spent thirty days with people who really listened and really tested.
Speaker 7: And that facility was fifteen hundred dollars a day. Luckily
Speaker 7: my instaurants covered it. But I want to take some
Speaker 7: of those tools and put those online, you know, like
Speaker 7: we can't replace that, but we want to like offer some.
Speaker 10: Of those like work books that maybe you can do,
Speaker 10: or like.
Speaker 7: That, you know, popping the balloon, like it really used
Speaker 7: to just have a wall of balloon so you could
Speaker 7: just walk through and pop them a lot.
Speaker 2: Like I have.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I have.
Speaker 1: I have a bunch of balloons saved up for my
Speaker 1: son's third birthday party. So I'm just going to start
Speaker 1: blowing some up and just start taking to the wall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, right there, right there on the wall. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be great. I asked him some of the listeners
Speaker 1: on my Instagram some questions you know about because I said,
Speaker 1: I was talking to you and just I know, you.
Speaker 5: Know, I'm not therapist. You're not therapists. You're not therapists.
Speaker 1: But we've also have our own issues around mental health
Speaker 1: and we all go through things, and so someone there's
Speaker 1: a few questions I wanted to ask you. This is
Speaker 1: from Miss Angela. How do you help others deal with
Speaker 1: mental health while still watching yours? Because I think that's
Speaker 1: a really good because I'm always like trying to be
Speaker 1: authentic on my Instagram, but at the same time, I'm like, well, shoot,
Speaker 1: like I still have, you know, my own issues too
Speaker 1: that I have to, you know, make sure I go
Speaker 1: to therapy or talk to a friend, or like today
Speaker 1: just being like, I had a really crappy day today
Speaker 1: and I feel depressed.
Speaker 5: But how do you how do you do it? Yours?
Speaker 7: I used to have a major problem. Even when I
Speaker 7: went away to the facility, I was afraid to get
Speaker 7: close to anyone because it's so easy to deflect your
Speaker 7: issues and want to help other people fix their issues,
Speaker 7: but then you run out of any steam, so you're
Speaker 7: not helping yourself. So what I've learned to do is listen.
Speaker 7: Just let them talk, Just let them talk completely, hear
Speaker 7: them out, and then ask them do you want me
Speaker 7: to listen or do you want advice or do you
Speaker 7: want to know my experience? And knowing that I can't
Speaker 7: give you advice, but like maybe I.
Speaker 10: Can guide you to a book I read.
Speaker 7: Or got it and then not hold on to it
Speaker 7: and then follow up and check on to them. And
Speaker 7: that's a really hard thing for me, Not to hold
Speaker 7: on to someone else's trauma or experience, is because I
Speaker 7: want to be a fixer, and it's just I can't
Speaker 7: fix anyone if I have nothing to give, even myself.
Speaker 1: Well, I think too if something's like because I early on,
Speaker 1: when like my ex husband cheated a bunch, I started
Speaker 1: helping some women that had come into my DMS, and
Speaker 1: because I wanted to help, but then I realized, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is actually triggering me more because I
Speaker 1: still have so much on healed trauma from it that
Speaker 1: I I'm now going to be I'm doing a disservice
Speaker 1: to myself. But by talking to the women that like
Speaker 1: he's either hurt or or that hurt some you know
Speaker 1: that hurt them. So it's like I just I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. And then now I've kind
Speaker 1: of started to help you know, a few more people,
Speaker 1: but more so, but I keep more of like an
Speaker 1: arm's length because I'm like I I still notice the
Speaker 1: triggers that come up still to this day.
Speaker 10: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 7: Like I I interesting enough, I was in a very
Speaker 7: abusive relationship when I was younger, and I really thought
Speaker 7: that I had overcame it, and like I've I've had
Speaker 7: a lot of trauma.
Speaker 10: I lost a lot of friends to murder, to suicide.
Speaker 7: I had like a high gang violence area. So it
Speaker 7: was really like, you survived, That's what your main goal
Speaker 7: was to do. And I thought I had really worked
Speaker 7: on a lot of it, and then someone brought up
Speaker 7: my abuser's name and I literally went into trauma, like
Speaker 7: I was like back in that place, and this wasn't
Speaker 7: too long ago, a couple of weeks ago, and I
Speaker 7: was just shaking and shivering and I'm and I hadn't
Speaker 7: experienced that, so that was like totally new to me.
Speaker 7: And I, you know, luckily was able to get a
Speaker 7: hold of my therapist and she's like she kind of
Speaker 7: guided me through a little bit of it. But there's
Speaker 7: there has to be accessibility for some of these people.
Speaker 7: You know, there is a suicide prevention hotline that does
Speaker 7: really well, not saying anybody you're speaking to is suicidal,
Speaker 7: over cheating, but it does it abuses you in more
Speaker 7: ways than just the action of what they have done.
Speaker 10: It like it like.
Speaker 7: It makes you feel less valuable when you're not the
Speaker 7: actual one who's doing things that are in like wrong
Speaker 7: or whatever. But that's my opinion because I was cheated
Speaker 7: on too massively by the physical abuse er.
Speaker 5: I like to do both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jordan says, how to be happy?
Speaker 5: Struggling to wake up and feel happy lately? What helps you?
Speaker 1: I honestly the I go to gratefulness as much as
Speaker 1: I can. I'm like, okay, yeah, that's yeah, that's been
Speaker 1: something that's been helpful. Are you guys going to have
Speaker 1: something like that on on there too?
Speaker 10: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I mean thinking more of like the positive out of
Speaker 7: the negative. You know, whatever the situation is is always
Speaker 7: helpful sometimes, Like getting out of bed and even showering
Speaker 7: is a mission for me. Like if I I don't
Speaker 7: think I've blow dried my own hair in like six
Speaker 7: months while I was like in the hospital and going
Speaker 7: through all that and all this other stuff, and and
Speaker 7: like I go get it blown out, and that makes
Speaker 7: me feel better. And I always like want to be
Speaker 7: going and going and doing something, so me getting my
Speaker 7: nails done or me getting my hair done, it's like
Speaker 7: I don't care about it because I don't feel like
Speaker 7: I'm changing the world or doing something more important. But
Speaker 7: self care is so important to get up and look
Speaker 7: forward to a massage or even like, like, what I
Speaker 7: do when I have a hard time getting out of
Speaker 7: bed is I've created a routine where I get up
Speaker 7: at five point thirty, I put on one of my
Speaker 7: true crying podcasts, and I drive to Starbucks, get my
Speaker 7: Starbucks And the fact that I just got out of
Speaker 7: the house makes me not want to go back in
Speaker 7: the house and shut it up. And that is that's
Speaker 7: the hard part. That's the hard part, getting out of
Speaker 7: your comfort because my comfort is my bed and the
Speaker 7: shade shut and it just has always been that, So
Speaker 7: you do have to put some force behind it. But
Speaker 7: I also hope that wonder Mine can help people understand
Speaker 7: what is keeping them in bed? What is keeping what
Speaker 7: is what is the root of the problem that can
Speaker 7: be corrected with something that is not necessarily like medication.
Speaker 7: And I'm not anti medication. It saved my life, but
Speaker 7: it's also not for everybody. So what works for me
Speaker 7: is not going to work for maybe you two. So
Speaker 7: I just feel like that's what's important is people getting
Speaker 7: the connecting.
Speaker 10: Mindset with your body. Yeah, and because we are so
Speaker 10: disconnected and so on social media.
Speaker 7: And I've gone sixty days without my phone and I
Speaker 7: did not miss it for five seconds.
Speaker 10: It was amazing, says.
Speaker 1: And as a mom, you know, obviously you know your
Speaker 1: daughter has been very vocal about you know, bipolar and
Speaker 1: her mental health, and how do you how do you
Speaker 1: continue to support and be there for Like someone had asked,
Speaker 1: as a parent, how can you your daughter who has
Speaker 1: bipolar disorder?
Speaker 5: Because I feel helpless.
Speaker 7: It is it's a very helpless feeling because you will
Speaker 7: you just automatically want to take the pain away. But
Speaker 7: what I have found because we've gone through our ups
Speaker 7: and downs with my mental health and her mental health,
Speaker 7: and how we reacted and we would do conversations together,
Speaker 7: like not necessarily family therapy, but like try to you know,
Speaker 7: the older she got, the easier was. But you know,
Speaker 7: she's been in facilities a few times, and I've learned.
Speaker 7: I've learned to be the mother she needs instead of
Speaker 7: the mother I want to be. And so I would
Speaker 7: learn like like things like you know, because I needed
Speaker 7: a parent that was a hard ass and supported me
Speaker 7: and like my parents were always working, and so I
Speaker 7: would protect her to a fault and didn't let her
Speaker 7: grow up. And then and it's still hard, but I
Speaker 7: had to retrain, like I'm like, what do you need
Speaker 7: from me? If you don't need me asking you twenty questions,
Speaker 7: then I won't ask you twenty questions.
Speaker 10: And then let's get through this moment.
Speaker 7: And then I find most of the times they just
Speaker 7: they just want.
Speaker 10: To be held.
Speaker 7: They truly do, even if they start punching you and
Speaker 7: kicking you, holding them just put them in such a
Speaker 7: peaceful place. So, you know, we have been through a
Speaker 7: lot with that and me thinking I had bipolar.
Speaker 10: I thought I understood her.
Speaker 7: In reality, I was understanding what I read in books,
Speaker 7: which does not qualify me to, you know, like talk.
Speaker 10: To her therapeutically.
Speaker 7: So we had to learn with our like like I
Speaker 7: know when I don't hear from her for a couple
Speaker 7: of days on text, I know she's needing a minute,
Speaker 7: you know, Whereas.
Speaker 10: Before I would blow her up and like are you okay?
Speaker 10: Are you okay? Like where are you?
Speaker 7: You know, because she's a celebrity, so I get freaked
Speaker 7: out about Luckily, sometimes there's just pictures every day of
Speaker 7: what she's doing and I know where she is.
Speaker 10: But like you know, most parents don't have that luxury.
Speaker 10: So but like I had to learn to.
Speaker 7: Not always like talk about it in a medicinal way
Speaker 7: and talk about it in an emotional supportive way and.
Speaker 10: Just say what do you need? Like what do you
Speaker 10: need from me?
Speaker 7: And sometimes they need peace, Sometimes they need you to
Speaker 7: hear them. Sometimes they need a hug. Sometimes I'll say
Speaker 7: off like it, but they need to say that, and
Speaker 7: then you come back and they usually apologize, and like
Speaker 7: this is where my head's faces.
Speaker 10: So it does.
Speaker 7: It just takes time to kind of really understand each other.
Speaker 7: And I do feel like a lot of that fault
Speaker 7: was me not mothering my child the way she needed.
Speaker 1: Do you have because I'm just thinking that because I've
Speaker 1: we both have kids, and my daughter she's she's about
Speaker 1: to turn six, but I'm so fearful for the day
Speaker 1: to be like, oh I wish I did that because
Speaker 1: now I'm now I've screwed her up this way, or
Speaker 1: I wrote her too much, or I was too hard
Speaker 1: on her like the other day, Like it's I'm emotional.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but like like every time I
Speaker 1: talk to my kids, I always never never want them
Speaker 1: to like, you know, I don't want to screw them up.
Speaker 1: But like I was like writing her on her freaking
Speaker 1: sight words, and I'm like, Jolie, like how why are
Speaker 1: you saying? Do there's no like when there's an M
Speaker 1: like it's me. It was like and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Jana, And then I started like crying
Speaker 1: because I was like, what is wrong with you? Like
Speaker 1: stop writing there freaking five year old you know what
Speaker 1: I mean about her sight words? Like she's gonna she's
Speaker 1: gonna read in her time. But like then I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I being too hard on her? Like is this
Speaker 1: going to cause this? Or like or if I'm a
Speaker 1: not hotter earner, she's gonna be too soft or I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh sorry.
Speaker 4: I'll do that.
Speaker 10: No, no, no, we do, we all all do it. I
Speaker 10: prois my husband more than me. I'm kind of like
Speaker 10: a hippie parent.
Speaker 7: But with I, I mean, do you feel like this
Speaker 7: was maybe something that is insecure about your your own
Speaker 7: self that you write?
Speaker 1: So yeah, I always I always reflect that because it's
Speaker 1: always like, Okay, if I'm feeling something, it's because I
Speaker 1: have to like what what is unresolved in me? Or
Speaker 1: what is like what do I need to reflect back?
Speaker 1: And I think I'm so afraid of failing.
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, but look, you're raising two beautiful kids. So
Speaker 7: how you're feeling applaud I heard you actually.
Speaker 10: Doing a movie, you got.
Speaker 7: Podcast, and you love your parents. I mean, you love
Speaker 7: your kids. I don't know if you love your parents.
Speaker 5: Scre me up, but I love you.
Speaker 7: You know. It's like it's but you know, it's I
Speaker 7: think we are as parents really really hard on ourselves
Speaker 7: and with if if you're asking me if I had
Speaker 7: that moment with Selena, I do feel like when was
Speaker 7: getting in her twenties and I was still managing her.
Speaker 7: Our family was so because managers know everything about their kids,
Speaker 7: I mean, their their talent, and so I was coming
Speaker 7: to the point where if she did something silly or
Speaker 7: you know, controversial or whatever, like you want as a manager,
Speaker 7: it's your job to fix it.
Speaker 10: But then I would go, Okay, as your mom, what
Speaker 10: the were you thinking?
Speaker 7: And so I regret those days, sure, you know, and
Speaker 7: but like you know, raising a kid as hard anyways,
Speaker 7: and you're raising one in Hollywood. It's like you don't
Speaker 7: know what's right from wrong, and it's it's so.
Speaker 10: I think we kind of all do it.
Speaker 7: And maybe just the only advice I can really give
Speaker 7: is I wish sometimes I listened more and wasn't so
Speaker 7: laxidaisal with her and certain things. You know, she came
Speaker 7: in one day and she's like, I did this, and
Speaker 7: I was like, uh, because I knew how to do,
Speaker 7: We'll deal with it the next day. And I was like,
Speaker 7: we'll talk about this in the morning. And then through
Speaker 7: therapy I found out that that literally broke her heart.
Speaker 7: I was like, and it was weird because I remembered
Speaker 7: that moment, but at that moment it didn't seem that
Speaker 7: important to me. And also she always felt like she
Speaker 7: had to try harder because I would never make a
Speaker 7: big deal out of awards, like because I didn't want
Speaker 7: her to think that that's what matters. So in my mind,
Speaker 7: not doing something great wow, But in her mind, she's like,
Speaker 7: I got to push further or my mom's not proud
Speaker 7: of me.
Speaker 10: I had no idea this was going on.
Speaker 7: So that was you know, that was something that we
Speaker 7: learned through communications. So I mean, all you can really
Speaker 7: do is just listen. I mean, we're bound to mess
Speaker 7: up somehow or.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy, like it makes so much like you
Speaker 1: doing what you should.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then it's how they take it and what
Speaker 4: they want. I mean that's hard.
Speaker 1: I mean that's so because I and then you wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I would never have thought that that she would have
Speaker 1: thought like, oh, I need to do get this award
Speaker 1: because then maybe my mom will like be excited or
Speaker 1: happy about it like that, because I would do exactly
Speaker 1: what you would have done, and that then like.
Speaker 10: I'd be like, oh, that's awesome, and then like.
Speaker 5: The next conversation happened.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there she was wanting me to be like, you know,
Speaker 7: super proud of her. So now I've I've learned that
Speaker 7: and I am proud of her. And so I've just
Speaker 7: learned that I need to reach out when moments happen
Speaker 7: that I know are milestones and let her know I'm
Speaker 7: proud of her, you know, because they obviously mean something
Speaker 7: to her, and I just never wanted that to be
Speaker 7: her value.
Speaker 6: Yeah for award.
Speaker 1: So when our listeners go to wondermind dot com, I
Speaker 1: know it officially launches in February, but what is there
Speaker 1: anything there that they can see now or is there
Speaker 1: like an email thing to like get them when.
Speaker 10: It Yeah, you can definitely.
Speaker 7: When you go to wondermine dot com, there is a
Speaker 7: at the very first page where you can put your
Speaker 7: email that we can give you updates on okay, and
Speaker 7: then eventually they're well and then there's you know, our bios,
Speaker 7: which aren't very exciting, but you will be updated on
Speaker 7: like when the podcast states are set, and then we
Speaker 7: can start spending daily content and like in February, so
Speaker 7: roughly some of that is like where we're kind of looking.
Speaker 7: The product will be down the line because that's got
Speaker 7: a lot of responsibility, and but yeah, we're we're really
Speaker 7: excited to to explore the space and try to make
Speaker 7: like something that should have been done decades ago.
Speaker 5: For sure. Well, I mean I hate that we all
Speaker 5: go through things.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you're, you know, Selena, you
Speaker 1: you guys are using a platform to help other people,
Speaker 1: and so you know, thank you for that, thank you
Speaker 1: for you know, continuing and you must be so proud
Speaker 1: because of that too, you know, and I hope you
Speaker 1: know that you're going to be helping a lot of people,
Speaker 1: So thank you for doing what you do and to
Speaker 1: help all the listeners go to wonder Mind so you
Speaker 1: can get all the latest stuff info when it starts
Speaker 1: officially lunching. So thank you Mandy so much.
Speaker 10: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 5: Nice to be nice to meet you too, Honey. Well
Speaker 5: that was good. God. Parenting stuff is so hard, so hard.
Speaker 1: I since I was an emotional train, I'll continue the train.
Speaker 1: I walked out to the bus stop. This is probably
Speaker 1: like a week or so ago, and one of the
Speaker 1: moms was like, are you okay? And I just started
Speaker 1: crying and I was like, I just yelled so hard
Speaker 1: at Jolie that now I'm like, now she's gonna go
Speaker 1: to school and thinks she's like a bad girl. And
Speaker 1: I apologize to her, but I was just so fed up.
Speaker 1: Jolie and Jays were like, you know, screaming and fighting
Speaker 1: with each other, and I was like stop because I
Speaker 1: was just like couldn't like. I just was like and
Speaker 1: I felt awful, and they were just like.
Speaker 5: Won't be the last time you do that?
Speaker 10: Nope?
Speaker 4: But I was like, I feel there and that the
Speaker 4: last time you'll cry about it either. I cry pretty
Speaker 4: much every time I get mad at my good.
Speaker 2: But we always tell people don't beat yourself up. Everyone
Speaker 2: know said it happens to all of us. But I'm
Speaker 2: as bad as anybody. I'm totally beating myself up for
Speaker 2: that stuff.
Speaker 4: I think it's apologizing that's really important.
Speaker 1: I mean I did, and I grabbed her and by
Speaker 1: her little face, and I was like, Jolie, Mommy is
Speaker 1: so sorry. Y'all those like it just really it frustrates
Speaker 1: mommy when you don't listen, and I just like, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry because I don't do it a lot.
Speaker 5: So when I do, they like, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well that's good because then they will apologize in the
Speaker 3: future when they make a mistake and they.
Speaker 5: Are it may parenting, you, guys is so so hard. Well,
Speaker 5: I think that's an episode.
Speaker 2: Check check check.
Speaker 5: Got the episode done?
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, well I gotta do some Christmas shopping,
Speaker 1: so I got to finish it up.
Speaker 2: Got to overdo it and make everybody else feel guilty.
Speaker 1: Yep. I really don't like I'm about to get a
Speaker 1: You're so spoiled.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't, actually, I just want Oh.
Speaker 9: It's not it's not at all that you're spoiled at all,
Speaker 9: Thank you, it's not at all you.
Speaker 5: This is from Amazon it's fifteen dollars people.
Speaker 4: It's not that, it's not about that, it's just.
Speaker 6: You know, go to her Instagram for the link.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, thank you very much.
Speaker 1: Later why she walked in earlier and I was like,
Speaker 1: nice boots, and she's like, I got them from your page.
Speaker 5: I was like, right, dsw they were like one hundred bucks.
Speaker 4: Let's swipe up on all of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or link and everything else is just TBD, TBD, okay,
Speaker 1: I love you guys,