1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Exactly and not with you. Buggalo an hold on tight. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry letter, 3 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: Thank you nev. Subject my marriage is stable but stale. 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I have a testimony and I need 5 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: some solid advice. In the past, my husband was a 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: scam artist and I am an ex stripper and call girl. 7 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: We both got caught up and ended up doing time, 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: and our family took care of our children. I got 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: released from prison first, and I started to rebuild our lives. 10 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: When he got out, I put him through school. After that, 11 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: I continued my education and now we make decent money 12 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: and have a stable home life. My husband used to 13 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: be a natural hustler, but now he does not share 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 1: my desire to work hard and earn more money. Besides that, 15 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: he has gained one hundred pounds and has turned into 16 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: a couch potato. I am stuck being the dreamer, the planner, 17 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: the motivator, and the brain. But my problem gets deeper. 18 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: The worst part is our sex life. In the past, 19 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: I was used to getting gratification from multiple men, and 20 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 1: now I'm not getting my itch properly scratched. I could 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: step out and get great sex from other men, but 22 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: I have a conscience. I don't want to keep on 23 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: being miserable in this marriage with mediocre income and sex. 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: I have talked to my husband about the sex and 25 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: he apologized for not being able to satisfy me, and 26 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: that was it. So what am I supposed to do? 27 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: Do I leave and start over, taking the kids away 28 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: from their stable home with their father, or should I 29 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: go ahead and cheat on my husband and stay in 30 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: this stale marriage? Wow, I know I can. I can 31 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: tell your torn I think you know. But oh good, 32 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: and and I can't wait to hear yours. Thank you? 33 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, it sounds like you want to talk 34 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: to her. Okay, here we go. These are questions really 35 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: only you can answer. I mean, seriously, you've been in 36 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: this marriage for a while. You guys have a sordid pass, 37 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: scam artist, stripper call girl all that. But um, you 38 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: know you did, you paid your dues, you did your time, 39 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: and now, like you say, you're rebuilding your lives, which 40 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: is a good thing. Everyone deserves a second chance. Now, 41 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: you put your husband through school so he has an education, 42 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: there's no excuse for him not working. And then you 43 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: continue yours. You make decent money. Now you have a 44 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: stable home life. But your your husband sounds like he's 45 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: just not happy. This natural hustler in him, he's not happy. 46 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: So he gained a hundred pounds, he's turned into a 47 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: couch potato, and now the sex is horrible. You're saying again, 48 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: these are questions only you can answer. Should you leave him? 49 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: The question to you is what do you want? I mean, really, 50 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: what do you want? You can have what you want, 51 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: but you can't change anyone but yourself in this situation. 52 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: If you want to stay there, you got a deal 53 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: with trying to get your husband out of this funk, 54 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: or helping him get back on the right track. If 55 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: he's gained a hundred pounds, you know, start meal planning, 56 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: helping him do things like that, work out things like that, 57 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: find out what's going on with him, go to the doctor, 58 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,119 Speaker 1: why the weight gang, talk to him about it. When 59 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: you did talk to him about it, you said he 60 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: just answered you or apologizing nothing happened. I say, that's 61 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: if you want to stay with him, if you love 62 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: him and all that. But if not, if you want 63 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: to walk, you know that's what you're gonna have to do, 64 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: because it doesn't sound like he's interested in the marriage. 65 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: Only you can make this change. If you feel like 66 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 1: your marriage is worth fighting for and you'll have something 67 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: after you fight, then you stay. If not, you're gonna 68 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: have to walk. Steve, I don't really want to answer 69 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: this now, my whole answer. I want to take a 70 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: whole other approach. A matter of fact, let me just say, 71 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: Shirley gave you the best advice you can get. Now 72 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: let me just do what I want to do. Just 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: do it. You don't need permission. I have a testimony. 74 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: Testimonies are normally given in church. You've bypassed the church 75 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: part because y'all probably don't know where the church at 76 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: the past. Well, in the past, my husband was a 77 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: scam artist. I'm an ex stripper and a call girl. 78 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: We both got caught up and he ended up doing time, 79 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: and our family took care of our kids. I got 80 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: released from prison, first started to rebuild our lives. When 81 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: he got out, I put him through school. After that, 82 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: I continue my education and now we make decent money 83 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: and have a stable home life. That's good. People are 84 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: allowed to make mistakes in recover. Congratulations. My husband used 85 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: to be a natural hustler. But now he does not 86 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: share my desire to work hard and earn more money. 87 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: Besides that, he has gained one hundred pounds and turned 88 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: into a couch potato. All right, let's start him. The 89 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 1: reason he didn't gain this hundred pounds is because he 90 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: stopped scamming. That's all it is. He was busy. His 91 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: ass was getting round on the run. He was on 92 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: his feet, and it's hard to gain weight when you 93 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 1: scared because you don't squal as much food when you're scared. 94 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: Scamming ass went on edge all day. He was just 95 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: like a little crackhead, just nervous man, slim in shape, 96 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: fast talking. Went to prison. He don't want to go 97 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: back to prison. So now he gonna stayed his ass 98 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: on that couch and picked up a hundred. Now, surely 99 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,559 Speaker 1: say get on the meal plan. One hundred is too five, 100 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: you know, here, damn couch potato. He's a potato couch. 101 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: He's a sack of potatoes. He's a whole bunch of potatoes. 102 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: He's one fat ass breaked potato. Because he done, he's 103 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,919 Speaker 1: sitting on that couch with that dry ass life. He 104 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 1: don't know what to do. Hell, Yeah, I used to 105 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: be married to a stripper in the car girl, and 106 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 1: I was a stone cold hustle, you know, set up 107 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 1: here and take ass, stupid ass to school, mess around, 108 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 1: got a damn education. How we think we some damn 109 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: suburban people. I don't want this. Where are my scams at? It? 110 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: Way more fun that we ain't here punching clocks going 111 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 1: to work. Man, I'm eating picked up a hunted oh man. Now, 112 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: this lady says she's stuck being the dream of the 113 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: plan of the motivator in the brains. You left out, 114 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: you the cook, and you personal shopper. All right, hold 115 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: it right there, Steve, Hold it right there. Well that 116 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: part two of your response, Steve. Come on, let's recap 117 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter, the subject my marriage is stable but stale. Yeah, 118 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: stale because ain't nothing happening no more. Because according to him, 119 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: the way he acted, he had a good life. He 120 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: just messed up and got caught. But that prison knocked 121 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: his ass down a little bit. He ain't trying to 122 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: go back in there. So the player is safe. Ye 123 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: can't scam from this couch, my ass right here, come 124 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: out of here. Listening to the universe when I went 125 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: to school, I should have been out scamming. I'm in 126 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: nice school trying to get it. Damn ged the hell 127 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: I need that for. I don't want the top scam 128 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: artist in the country. I'm just sitting there with my 129 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: fat at. All I do is eat baked potatoes. Now 130 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: you want to call me a couch pretending potato chips. No, 131 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: I'm not really trying to help them. But my problem 132 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: gets deeper. The worst part is our sex life. In 133 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: the past, I was used to getting gratification from multiple men. Damn. 134 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: That sounds nasty but okay though, And now I'm not 135 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: getting my itch properly scratch. Try not to call it itch. Yeah, 136 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: because you need multiple men and you started itching, that 137 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: ain't necessarily start. I know if I ever been with 138 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: a lot of women and I started itching, I would 139 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: go down to the clinic. Yeah, because sometimes you ain't 140 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: got to get your itch scratch. You got to get 141 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: your itch taking care any some Damn pendicella. You better 142 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: hope it's just an itch because they got something. Now. 143 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: I ain't no pendicella fall No, I'm Julia. I didn't 144 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: want to do this letter. The worst part is our 145 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: sex life I couldn't step out and get some great 146 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: sex from other men. Well guess what you will be 147 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 1: then though, you're back to be in the car girl 148 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: and the stripple. YEA, you don't want that, lady, don't 149 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: do that, she said. But I have a conscious and 150 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: that's good. I don't want to keep on being miserable 151 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: in this marriage with mediocre income and sex. See fat 152 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: boy at what he used to be. Let's just break 153 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:53,599 Speaker 1: it down. Fat assing gott get that hunted on it. 154 00:09:55,600 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: But love making got to be str his big hands 155 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: over here. Ain't making no money in some side sex 156 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: and now something got to have if you're gonna have, 157 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: sorry sex and leaders, let her go shopping. Yeah, at 158 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 1: least let her go shop. What you can't do is 159 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 1: be sitting up in there complaining. And then when she 160 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: asked you about the sex, your response is I'm sorry, right, 161 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 1: I'm chill, sorry, but I ain't gonna do nothing about it. 162 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: I got this extra hundred on me what you want 163 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: me to do? So I was not gonna be good 164 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: with this letter. I knew it when I read it. 165 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 1: Misible in this mediocre marriage with sex and income. I've 166 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: talked to my husband about to here apologize. So what 167 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 1: am I supposed to do? Do I leave and start over, 168 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: taking the kids away from the stable home and their father. No, 169 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 1: don't do that. Don't do that? Or should I go 170 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: ahead and cheat on my husband and stay in this 171 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,959 Speaker 1: stale man? Well, here's a suggestion that might be able 172 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: to kill two birds with one stone. You could get 173 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,839 Speaker 1: your husband back off the couch by getting him back 174 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: into the hustle game. That's when he went to jail. No, 175 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 1: but this time he hustling and scamming. What do you 176 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 1: do he working with you to scratch you with Let 177 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: him go out and get the men that you need 178 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: to be satisfied and then let him have a cut. 179 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: Then he'll feel better like he back hustling. You get 180 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: all that scratch at you out the way. You'll be 181 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: back in business. But you have a conscious. But if 182 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 1: he give you the permission to do what you could 183 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: do it. I don't like this, I'm good with it. 184 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: But they But the dude then gave up thought, Yes, 185 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: a hundred pounds a lot, That is nothing. That's a lot, farty, 186 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: you can make a comeback a hundred But but where 187 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: was she? Yeah, when he gained the first twenty five 188 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: or or thirty or fifty. Yeah, I mean she was 189 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: looking at him at fifty. Okay, do you get out 190 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: of jail? You'd be ripped and you yeah for wow, 191 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: you ain't nothing to do in jail, button lift weights. 192 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: You ain't over eating it now and it's not healthy right, Oh, 193 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: they ain't got nothing healthy for you. It ain't no 194 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: gluten free. You mean get top rumming in the sink. 195 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: You can't gain no weight over that man, and not 196 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 1: at all one. Yeah, I mean, only these are questions 197 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: only she can answer. She wants to stay. She's you know, 198 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 1: got do I leave and start over taking the kids 199 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: away from the stable home with their father? I would 200 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: say no to that? Or should I go ahead and 201 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,199 Speaker 1: cheat on my husband? And see? Her options is if 202 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: I stay with him? Because I said stay with him 203 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: and don't take the kids with him, they stay but home. 204 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 1: All her answer is if I stay with him, I'm 205 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: gonna have to cheat on him. Yeah, yeah, that's all. 206 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: That's that's her response. So now I'm telling her include 207 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: him in the cheating. All right, we gotta go stee 208 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's strawberry 209 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: letter at Steve Harvey f M and at My Girls Shirley, 210 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: you're listening to show