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Speaker 1: Hey, ba fan, Welcome to the ba Qa where you

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Speaker 1: have questions and we have answers. But like with a

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Speaker 1: lowercase A, don't come sue us. This is like edutainment, infotainment,

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. It's not real one

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Speaker 1: on one advice. Let's just get that disclaimer out of

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Speaker 1: the way, so get your salt shakers out. I am

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Speaker 1: joined by Yaelli sbnl aka, Miss be Helpful, and the

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Speaker 1: wonderful Chris Browning of Popcorn Finance. Welcome y'all. You excited

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Speaker 1: to get some questions? Yes, let's do it, y'all. If

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Speaker 1: you want your question to answered on the show, what

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Speaker 1: can you do? You can go to Brandhambision podcast dot

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Speaker 1: com to submit your question. You can email me Brandnambision

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Speaker 1: Podcasts at gmail dot com. Yes I do check the

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Speaker 1: emails there and you can dm us on ig. We

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Speaker 1: are at Brannambision Podcast. So any questions you have money career,

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Speaker 1: we love those the most, but also, like you know, relationship,

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Speaker 1: family stuff. Life is lifing right now. So really, whatever

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Speaker 1: the case may be, we are here for you. All right,

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Speaker 1: we got a couple of questions.

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Speaker 2: Start.

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Speaker 1: Let's start with Sasha. Sasha says I'm DFW. That's Dallas

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Speaker 1: Fort Worth. That's right? Is that what that is? Okay, yay,

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Speaker 1: all right, Sasha says. I have lived in the DFW

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Speaker 1: area for the last four years. When I moved here

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Speaker 1: from my job, I worked remotely and I only went

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Speaker 1: into the office for big events a few times a year.

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Speaker 1: Now fast forward to twenty twenty five, and we're back

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Speaker 1: in the office four times a week like many other companies.

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Speaker 1: I initially lived in Dallas, where the HQ was only

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes away, but since then I've moved to Fort Worth,

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Speaker 1: which is an hour to an hour and a half

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Speaker 1: hour commute. Hour and a half commute some days. I

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Speaker 1: asked my boss if there's flexibility in the work from

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Speaker 1: home policy. She said no. I asked about promotion opportunities.

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Speaker 1: She said they would be lit id given the state

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Speaker 1: of the company, and don't expect much movement for two

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Speaker 1: to three years.

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Speaker 3: My goodness.

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Speaker 1: I love my team, the culture, they have great benefits,

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Speaker 1: and it's truly my dream company. Do I jump ship

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Speaker 1: and start looking for a new job. I've heard the

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Speaker 1: market is tough right now, so that worries me, and

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Speaker 1: I'm nervous. The grass won't be greener on the other side.

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Speaker 1: That's fair, that's very fair. It's nice to know that

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Speaker 1: some companies do you understand it's not just compensation that

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Speaker 1: keeps people there. It's like for not all jerks, and

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Speaker 1: we offer you know, work life balance a little bit

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Speaker 1: is nice. But what do y'all think. Have y'all been

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Speaker 1: in that situation before?

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I'm just interested in how she said

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Speaker 3: that it's her dream company. But I feel like your

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Speaker 3: dream company would have some leeway, maybe two to three

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Speaker 3: days in office in two days at home, or some

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Speaker 3: more remotely options, maybe a couple of days a month,

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Speaker 3: right Like describing it as you dream company when it's

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Speaker 3: lacking one major thing that's not working for you right now,

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Speaker 3: I would say that's a big deal because an hour

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Speaker 3: and a half commute, that's three hours going and coming back.

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Speaker 3: It's a long time, three hours out of your day.

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Speaker 3: No how much shit I can get done in three hours?

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Speaker 3: Oh my lord. Yeah, So it's interesting. I would push

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Speaker 3: back on the idea that it's your dream company because

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's so many companies out there nowadays

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Speaker 3: that have embraced work from home, even if it's just

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Speaker 3: partial you know, work from home days during the week.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be work from home five days

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Speaker 3: a week, but if it's some days working from home,

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Speaker 3: even that is a little bit of an alleviation of

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Speaker 3: not being on the road for three hours of your day.

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Speaker 3: So I would just push back on that, thinking a

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Speaker 3: little bit of like, no, but it's my dream job. No,

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Speaker 3: well obviously not, because there's a major part that it's lacking,

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Speaker 3: but it's yeah, it's tough. I haven't been in that

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Speaker 3: situation because I'm very fortunate to have been pretty much

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Speaker 3: in a remote position with limited travel since twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 3: So even before COVID, I was in a remote position

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Speaker 3: with limited travel. So I feel like it's tough. I

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Speaker 3: definitely would have a huge lifestyle shift if I had

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Speaker 3: to go in person now, especially if it was an

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Speaker 3: hour and a half away, because I don't even drive,

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Speaker 3: so I would be like, I got no choice, but

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Speaker 3: just right wait on the bus y'all gonna give me

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Speaker 3: a huper budget or what?

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Speaker 1: Oh that would be wild.

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Speaker 3: But it's just such an inconvenient, massive inconvenience to travel.

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Speaker 1: Think it also shows like even if you do start

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Speaker 1: working at a place that has a certain policy, they

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Speaker 1: can change their policy, like, uh, even if and the

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Speaker 1: grass isn't always greener, and maybe it is green to

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Speaker 1: start with, but then it starts growing weeds and going brown,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? And take that analogy

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Speaker 1: as far as I can, and I just feel like,

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Speaker 1: if you're choosing companies, bab, you really can just make

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Speaker 1: information based on what you know now or sorry, make

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Speaker 1: decisions based on the information that you have now. And

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Speaker 1: the information you have now is that you're getting some

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Speaker 1: things that are important. But you have to align your

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Speaker 1: values what is most important to you. Not to say

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Speaker 1: that great colleagues, dream company. And I think when they

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Speaker 1: say dream company, they mean that I didn't put that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't read this part. But she says, or yeah,

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Speaker 1: she says, hashtag free flights, great benefits. It must be

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Speaker 1: like an airline that gives her free travel benefits, which

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Speaker 1: are you know not it's a great perk and you

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Speaker 1: have yeah and the but with all the perks, I

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Speaker 1: think people do need to be realistic about what you're

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Speaker 1: giving up in exchange for what you're getting, And you

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Speaker 1: have to decide if what you're giving up and what

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Speaker 1: you're getting is like in balance or hopefully you get

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Speaker 1: more than you're giving and really what like that's really

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Speaker 1: up to you, Like does the hour and a half commute?

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Speaker 1: Do you love listening to audiobooks and driving a lot?

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Speaker 1: Do you love gas bills or electricity bills? If you

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Speaker 1: have a hybrid or whatever? Like do you do you mind?

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Speaker 1: Maybe it fits your lifestyle now, but if you have

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Speaker 1: a family or if you have people who rely on

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Speaker 1: you long term, like that may change the calculation. There's

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Speaker 1: certainly things that I tolerate I used to tolerate that

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tolerate now with my lifestyle and what I

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Speaker 1: need that are different. And it could be that it

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Speaker 1: was your dream company for a time, but now your

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Speaker 1: values have shifted, and yeah, I can't promise that you're

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Speaker 1: going to love your new colleagues and that. But I

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Speaker 1: think when you go into it with understanding your values

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Speaker 1: and like what the reason you're doing things and making

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Speaker 1: sure that your values are in alignment with those actions

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Speaker 1: that you're taking, like you'll be able to have peace

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Speaker 1: knowing like this is why, especially because a lot.

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Speaker 3: Of airlines do have remote positions. Now I know a

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Speaker 3: lot of the customer service roles are remote. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: have a friend whose mom works for American Airlines and

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Speaker 3: she just works from home. She just takes calls all

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Speaker 3: day and helps customer service support and stuff, so obviously

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Speaker 3: on the chat, but also on the phone. So I

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Speaker 3: think if there's like, if the reservation is that, oh no,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to lose my free flights, like okay, well,

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Speaker 3: let's figure out a role that is remote at least

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Speaker 3: part time or full time remote or like part of

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Speaker 3: the week remote, even if it's not full time remote,

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Speaker 3: that we'll still give you that perk, and it's in

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Speaker 3: that same industry, but maybe at a different company, Because yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that is a huge perk, and

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Speaker 3: that is definitely a big, a big factor in the

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Speaker 3: decision because that's major for your family, for yourself.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure so.

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Speaker 3: But you know, it's not the end of the day.

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Speaker 3: If you were to take a position that's fully remote

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Speaker 3: at a different at a competing company, and like, okay,

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Speaker 3: now I'm ten fifteen minutes away or twenty minutes away,

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Speaker 3: which is a major lifestyle change rather than driving an

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Speaker 3: hour and a half every day, or you could.

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Speaker 1: Move back to wherever headquarters was. Go ahead, Chris, is

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Speaker 1: that what you're gonna say, that's exactly what I was

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Speaker 1: because I was like, because for me, I've worked enough

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Speaker 1: bad jobs.

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Speaker 2: It was funny on the last episode I talked about

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Speaker 2: this job, I hated it, and all my old co

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Speaker 2: workers like, were you talking about this job?

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Speaker 1: Job knew it?

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Speaker 2: They're like, I knew what you're talking about. But after

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Speaker 2: I'd be willing to move for a good job. And

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Speaker 2: so for me, I don't take that for granted. If

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Speaker 2: this is a job you love, you like the benefits,

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Speaker 2: like if people you work with you like that what

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Speaker 2: you're doing, and they we didn't get the reason why

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Speaker 2: they moved away from the area. But if it's something

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Speaker 2: that's it was just by choice and you could move back,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't move back for a good job because it

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Speaker 2: is tough out there. You know, it is a little

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Speaker 2: bit of a risk. I mean, it's worth taking risk

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Speaker 2: if it is for the right job. But if every

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Speaker 2: if this is everything you want, I'd be willing to

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Speaker 2: move back for that job, just because it's hard to

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Speaker 2: find a good place. Sometimes it takes some time to

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Speaker 2: find the right fit, and to me, it's it's worth it,

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Speaker 2: even if it's maybe not like my ideal city. Maybe

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Speaker 2: the other city I like better. But if I have

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Speaker 2: a community there, friends, family that still exists in that

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Speaker 2: place and I can be happy there, I wouldn't. I

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Speaker 2: would move back there for a good job.

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Speaker 3: That's a good point, especially the mention of like the

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Speaker 3: two to three years till there's a promotion, so it's

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Speaker 3: like a long time. So if it sounds like I

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Speaker 3: mean by including that, I'm assuming that she's deciding she

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Speaker 3: wants to wait for that promotion. And if she wants

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Speaker 3: to wait for that promotion, then there's sort of this

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Speaker 3: inherent commitment to be there.

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Speaker 1: For two to three years.

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Speaker 3: Longer two to three years of a ninety minion commute

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Speaker 3: is now we're talking about something real specific that is

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Speaker 3: much longer term. So I would say three years of

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Speaker 3: driving ninety minutes a day to and from work, so

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Speaker 3: three hours a day is rough. If you know you're

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Speaker 3: committed to that, you know, advancement in your career within

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Speaker 3: this specific company, then it probably makes sense to do

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Speaker 3: what Chris is talking about, because then you know you're

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Speaker 3: committing to the three years, you're trying to put your

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Speaker 3: name in the hat for this promotion you're trying. That's

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Speaker 3: like the route that you're on, rather than like, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: I'm just not sure, but I'm conveniently located over here.

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Speaker 3: And then it's like, no, there's a very specific reason

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Speaker 3: why you're staying there and committing to trying to get

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Speaker 3: that promotion. In that case, moving closer to the company

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Speaker 3: just goes to show them how committed and serious you are.

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Speaker 3: So when that motion comes around, like oh, remember I

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Speaker 3: done moved back to Dallas for what for you all?

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Speaker 3: For this to stay here, to be able to contribute meaningfully,

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Speaker 3: like keep that in mind.

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Speaker 1: I don't know you don't think I don't think you

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Speaker 1: know that. That that clip going around that people on

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Speaker 1: the podcast for Homegirls talking about she met a man

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Speaker 1: in Nigeria and he proposed to her and she's gonna move.

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Speaker 1: Did you see that? And the other two are like, no,

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Speaker 1: don't stop, but give me your passport now. And I

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Speaker 1: would stop. I would stop someone from moving to a

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Speaker 1: city for a job for the promise of a promotion,

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Speaker 1: maybe not even the promise for this, for the for

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Speaker 1: the maybe of it all. Yeah, but there could be

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Speaker 1: other reasons for every all that plus all the other reasons.

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Speaker 2: And the culture is starting that you can see it

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Speaker 2: changing for this whole acceptance of work from home to

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Speaker 2: even now there's like the environment started to change back.

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Speaker 1: How do you think it's changing, because I don't think

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Speaker 1: it's it's going the wrong way.

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Speaker 2: It's headed back to like you need to be. I'm

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Speaker 2: even seeing it here with San Francisco, for like the

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Speaker 2: hub of remote work of the most benefits of all time,

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Speaker 2: and you're seeing a lot of these companies demanding the

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Speaker 2: employees come back into the office. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: it's going to work out for them, but you're seeing

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Speaker 2: that tie change. Even the city here said that they

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Speaker 2: got to bring their employees back. I think it's a

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Speaker 2: four days a week now. So yeah, you're seeing a change,

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Speaker 2: And so I don't I always felt it was a

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Speaker 2: little iffy, like making a move with these remote job promises,

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Speaker 2: because I'm like, I don't know if I trust him

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Speaker 2: to keep this up. After the pandemic starts to kind

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Speaker 2: of calm down, and then you're starting to see is

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Speaker 2: the flip the reversal of a lot of these policies.

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Speaker 2: So I'd even say, like, you know, you don't know

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Speaker 2: how if you find another job that's remote, allows you

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Speaker 2: to say where you are how long they'll even keep

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Speaker 2: those policies in place, because they, like Madi Will saying,

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Speaker 2: they can change your mind and be like, no, we're

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Speaker 2: you're all coming back in.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 3: That's a great point. I mean.

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Speaker 1: And the higher you get up, like the management. I

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Speaker 1: know you mentioned customer service, you and Ellie, but like

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Speaker 1: the more senior positions, I think they haven't even higher

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Speaker 1: expectation of showing up and being seen and heard and

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Speaker 1: all that. And I mean, I'm a little ambivalent about that.

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Speaker 1: I like a hybrid thing. I like going in, I

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Speaker 1: like staying home. Like the key for me, it's flexibility.

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Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass adult. When I decide it's better

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Speaker 1: for me to work from home, I would I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 3: Trust me to make that decision because I'm doing what's

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Speaker 3: best for this job and not being self.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, trust and I think you earn that.

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Speaker 1: It's funny because like you expect to hire senior people

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Speaker 1: to like be in the office, but I think you've

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Speaker 1: earned that trust and respect if you're at that point

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Speaker 1: to be able to make your own damn decisions, and

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Speaker 1: like that's a little frustrating. And also make that decision

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Speaker 1: for your team. You know, you can decide if you're

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Speaker 1: if you trust so and so to like work from

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Speaker 1: home or not, like anyway, I you should be able

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Speaker 1: to you should I mean you hired them because to

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Speaker 1: be honest, some people should not be working from home

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Speaker 1: because they can't. If you're not even nothing done.

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Speaker 3: If you if you are continuously not meeting quotas or

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Speaker 3: you know, KPIs or whatever it is your measure your

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Speaker 3: metrics are like, then it's a problem that needs to

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Speaker 3: be addressed. But if you're on your ship, like, what's

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Speaker 3: the problem? I don't you know. I do think right

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Speaker 3: now that there's a little bit of like corporate disco

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Speaker 3: because if you're a billionaire, multi millionaire whatever corporation of

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Speaker 3: CEO or EXAC, right and all your other buddies, that

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Speaker 3: other companies are hurting because of the fact that most

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Speaker 3: employees are working from home. Meaning the car industry is

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Speaker 3: hurting because people aren't driving their cars as much. Car

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Speaker 3: auto insurance is hurting because people are canceling all insurance politics.

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Speaker 3: They're not driving their cars all day anymore. People are,

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Speaker 3: you know, the food industry is hurting because people aren't

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Speaker 3: ordering lunches as much because they're not at work. You know,

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Speaker 3: corporate events is hurting because people aren't really doing so

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Speaker 3: it's like all of a sudden, now all of your

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Speaker 3: buddies are calling you up, like what's up? Are you

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Speaker 3: going back in office because you know, we need to

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Speaker 3: bring we need to spring back into action and get

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Speaker 3: you know, people, goods and services going again. And it's

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Speaker 3: going to be better when people are in office. And

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Speaker 3: so I do think some of it is like this

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Speaker 3: not necessarily selfish. I think selfish is the right word,

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Speaker 3: but there's probably a better word. But it's really about

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Speaker 3: like this motivating motivation, the key motivating factor being the

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Speaker 3: benefit to the corporations rather than to the actual workers,

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Speaker 3: and what's better for your work life balance and also

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Speaker 3: what's better for your productivity because I know, for example,

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Speaker 3: when I go to the office and everybody's just sitting

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Speaker 3: at the office taking zoom calls from the office, Like,

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Speaker 3: but uh, what you mean I had to come in

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Speaker 3: person for this, for this experience, for everyone to be

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Speaker 3: putting there ear Buzzy didn't take zoom calls from the office.

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Speaker 3: We can do that from home. So I think it

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Speaker 3: really varies. It really depends on the environment. But I

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Speaker 3: think more so when you see that push like that,

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Speaker 3: like and of course you know that Jamie Diamond clip

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Speaker 3: going viral a couple of weeks ago, it's like you

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Speaker 3: hear that frustration and that anger and then you realize

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Speaker 3: what it's amount of money. He went viral just because

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Speaker 3: he was being recorded and he didn't know, he wasn't

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Speaker 3: aware that he was being recorded, and he was basically

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Speaker 3: bashing work from home culture and like cursing up the storm,

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Speaker 3: saying this is bs, like what the fuck? Like you

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Speaker 3: need to come back in office if you want to

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Speaker 3: work at this company. He's talking about JP Morgan's last chase.

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Speaker 3: If you want to work at this company, you go in,

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Speaker 3: You're going to be in person. If you want to

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Speaker 3: keep your ass home and be lazy and stay at home,

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Speaker 3: stay home, but not here, not for this company. And

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Speaker 3: he was just like going on off about how people yes,

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Speaker 3: and then the audio got leaked and it went viral,

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Speaker 3: and it's like when you listen to the anger underneath

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Speaker 3: his voice, and he was really mad.

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Speaker 1: He was pissed.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's hurting their money, guys, that's why, that's

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Speaker 3: why they're so.

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Speaker 1: Mad and their egos and they're that whole like, well,

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Speaker 1: that's not the way it was when I was coming up.

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Speaker 1: And but you look at who had attended the inaugural

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Speaker 1: and it's like Silicon Valley you mentioned that, I'm just

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Speaker 1: you know vasos, and oh shoot, we didn't even talk

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Speaker 1: about Jeff Bezos, basically like saying, where do I begin, girl?

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Speaker 1: What do you say? With the Washington Post Jeff Bezos?

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Speaker 1: He the opinion section stepped down, and I can see

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Speaker 1: why because he's basically said, we're going to have libertarian

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Speaker 1: opinions here only and no questioning or critical opinions, literally

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Speaker 1: opinions about the White House. And that's just such a

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Speaker 1: reversal for what the Washington Post stands for. It it's

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Speaker 1: what everyone feared when he bought it, I think. And

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Speaker 1: now it's coming to fruition. Yep.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, it's just another nut subscribe, another Twitter slash

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Speaker 3: x situation where they just keep buying up things and

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Speaker 3: using it.

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Speaker 1: For and Trump doesn't like work from home, so then

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Speaker 1: they don't like it because they want to appeal to

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Speaker 1: his ego.

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Speaker 3: Of course, of course it's ridiculous, it really is. I mean,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's funny a couple with this is random,

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Speaker 3: but a couple of weeks ago are months ago, two

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Speaker 3: months ago, maybe I was in Atlanta. I went to

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Speaker 3: the Usher concert with my homegirl from college and we

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Speaker 3: turn around and see two three sections away like towards

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Speaker 3: the back or like the stripper poles set up in

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Speaker 3: the back, because Usher concert is crazy. Jeff Bezos in

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Speaker 3: there just just with his girl, just drinking, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, wait a minute, oh no, no, this was

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Speaker 3: not in Atlanta. I went to the Usher concert twice.

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Speaker 3: This was in Miami, the Miami Usher concert. So in

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Speaker 3: the Atlanta Usher concert, who was there? Tiny and t

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Speaker 3: I okay, and you know that makes sense. And then

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Speaker 3: the Miami one it was Jeff Bezos and and Damon

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Speaker 3: John from Shark Tank and from Poubu. Yeah, so it

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Speaker 3: was just it's like ridiculous. How you see like the

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Speaker 3: most the wealthiest freaking person being escorted by all the

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Speaker 3: security and this, like you know, it's ridiculous, like the

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Speaker 3: uber black situation pick up and drop off and like

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Speaker 3: just being treated whatever. And it's like, bro, we are

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Speaker 3: all at this concert just trying to have a good time,

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Speaker 3: like don't bring that energy in here. But it's so

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Speaker 3: frustrating because they literally have the first and final say

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Speaker 3: when it comes to so many of the policies that

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Speaker 3: affect our lived experiences every single day. And yet when

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Speaker 3: it comes to even just like your ability to go

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Speaker 3: to a consert and enjoy yourself, Oh excuse me, you

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Speaker 3: have to wait an hour until Jeff Bezos enters and exits.

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Speaker 3: Like it's so frustrating.

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Speaker 1: But you know at the back of the office, we

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Speaker 1: have to order sit again because you can't make time

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Speaker 1: to go.

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Speaker 3: To the stove, you know, And so you can't even

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Speaker 3: boycot Amazon even if you wanted to, because they make

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Speaker 3: it literally impossible. Mm, well we should wrap up the

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Speaker 3: b a qa.

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Speaker 1: For her. Oh yeah, we just.

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Speaker 3: Went off track.

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Speaker 1: I think we got the answer. I remember we got there.

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Speaker 1: Good luck, Sasha, and I think we all wrap I

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Speaker 1: think just to wrap that up. I think that the

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Speaker 1: key takeaways are you have to decide where where your

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Speaker 1: values are and recognize that companies are not going to

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Speaker 1: always be the perfect fit for you for where you're

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Speaker 1: at in your life. And like maybe it was your

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Speaker 1: dream company, but now that it wants you back in

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Speaker 1: the office, well that just it just qualifies them from

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Speaker 1: being your dream company and just to I think that's

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Speaker 1: a healthy it's a healthy thing to know as you

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Speaker 1: pursue the rest of your career and will help you

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Speaker 1: make decisions that are grounded in like what you want

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Speaker 1: versus what you think you should have or what companies

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Speaker 1: say they think you should.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's no harm in just interviewing. Just just interview,

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Speaker 3: just be, always be interviewing. Just just do it and

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Speaker 3: if if something feels right in your gut, it might

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Speaker 3: be the right leap. And if not, hey, at least

408
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 3: you're interviewing, you're staying in the game. You're staying fresher.

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Speaker 3: I mean, Mandy could talk to this better than anybody

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Speaker 3: about those skills. You have to kind of stay sharp

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Speaker 3: on them. And if you get real comfortable and settle

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Speaker 3: with this position and it's so great and so you stay,

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Speaker 3: you don't kind of only make it harder for yourself

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Speaker 3: in let's say, in three years, if you did decide

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Speaker 3: to leave because you've been out the game for so long.

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Speaker 3: So even maybe just do a couple of interviews. You

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Speaker 3: might find a better opportunity and a better fit. And

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Speaker 3: you might not, but at least you're getting at bets

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Speaker 3: you're getting that point.

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Speaker 1: We're an offer. Because the thing I love about all

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Speaker 1: these like oh two to three years for promotion, What

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Speaker 1: I love most is how quickly that goes out the

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Speaker 1: window if you get a competing offer, It's like, oh wait,

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Speaker 1: we found this money all of a sudden. That's hard interesting.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I would, yeah, one hundred percent on Ellie

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Speaker 1: go be interviewing and get those competing offers. All right, Sasha,

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Speaker 1: thank you for your question. Let's take a quick break

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Speaker 1: and come right back with question from a listener. Tara

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Speaker 1: Ariba fam Tara in the house with a question. She says, Hey, nanny,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for what you do. I just

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Speaker 1: discovered brand ambition and can't get enough. Oh that's kind,

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Speaker 1: that's so sweet. Tarah says, I'm thirty seven years old.

433
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 1: I had been with my partner for thirteen years. It's

434
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 1: a very loving and committed relationship, but we are not married.

435
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 1: We both have some disillusionment with marriage. Both of us

436
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,439
Speaker 1: have divorced parents and other trauma issues. Were both in

437
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: therapy for. It's occurred to me that if something were

438
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: to happen to him, i e. He dies in a

439
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: car crash or something, I'd be pretty much screwed financially.

440
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: I work part time and have a side hustle, but

441
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 1: he makes way more money than me as a computer programmer.

442
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 1: I contribute to rent and other smaller expenses, but I

443
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 1: would not be able to afford our current lifestyle on

444
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 1: my own if something were to happen to him. Part

445
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 1: of our arrangement is that I pay lesson rent so

446
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 1: I can work. I'm paying down my credit card debt,

447
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 1: which I'm very slowly making progress on. Anyway, I've heard

448
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 1: horror stories of women being with their man for twenty

449
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: plus years, he dies suddenly and they have zero claim

450
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: to anything because they're not legally married. I can't say

451
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 1: for sure if we will ever get legally married, maybe not,

452
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 1: or maybe some day down the road. But in the meantime,

453
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 1: what can I do to protect myself financially in case

454
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: the worst were to happen. We live in Idaho, oh

455
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 1: Idaho in the house?

456
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 3: Okay?

457
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,159
Speaker 1: Good. We live in Idaho, which does not offer something

458
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: like common law marriage. I'm assuming my priority should be

459
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 1: to save, save, save like a squirrel, because right now

460
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: my savings is almost nothing. Sadly, anyway, sorry for the

461
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: long email. Thank you so much. Don't be sorry much.

462
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 1: Love Tara through it. Listen to your gut. What do

463
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: you say, christ because you never go first? Assertive? Be assertive?

464
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sometimes I forget that you're doing it by choice,

465
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: not because you need me to like shut you to

466
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 1: the spotlight.

467
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't need you don't need to make me

468
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 2: go first, since you already put me on the spot.

469
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 2: All right, I would say, you know what I think, obviously,

470
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 2: it's always good to be prepared, right, to have your

471
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 2: own stuff in place, have your own savings, to have

472
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 2: your own streamer income, to be self sufficient, right. Because

473
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 2: in the situation, it sounds like it's not that he

474
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 2: is making her be I guess he's not forcing her.

475
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 2: In the situation, they're involuntarily they're choosing that to be married.

476
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: But I think there's differently things we don't know why.

477
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 2: Maybe she's working part time versus working full time. There

478
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: could be a lot of reasons why someone chooses to

479
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 2: do that. I don't know if they have kids or

480
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 2: anything like that, but I would say you can definitely

481
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 2: make sure you're self sufficient on your own right. You

482
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 2: got to make sure that you and no matter what happens,

483
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: because a relationship could always in that you are taking

484
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 2: care of yourself and you put yourself in the best

485
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: position to survive any type of separation. If this is

486
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 2: like a committed relationship, right, I don't know if they've

487
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 2: done any type of estate planning, and maybe have the

488
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: conversation with your partner like, hey, if something weren't happen

489
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 2: to you, something would happen to me. Do we plan

490
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 2: on giving each other some of our assets when we

491
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: pass away? Because that's something that I think that would

492
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 2: give you a lot of relief if you know for sure,

493
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 2: because just because you're not married doesn't mean he couldn't

494
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: have a trust or will in place that gives you

495
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 2: some of the assets that you built this life together.

496
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: You can name anybody a beneficiary of that for a

497
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: one K bye bye anybody life insurance policy?

498
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 2: Yes, right, so I would have that question. I would

499
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 2: have a conversation and figure that out because that may

500
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 2: solve your problem right there. If because if you feel like, Okay,

501
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 2: I don't know what will happen, this may give you

502
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: that security that you need to know that, hey, we

503
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: both have each other's back and that one of us

504
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 2: were to pass away. But if you may find out

505
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 2: that you that's not the plan, so then then you

506
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 2: can make it a planet according based off of what

507
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 2: you know.

508
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: Now that's scary too, because if he passes away, you

509
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: can't afford the house, like and there's still a lean

510
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: on it or mortgage or whatever, like his family may

511
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: take ownership or whatever the laws of Idaho suggest, and

512
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: then they could, you know, want to sell it for

513
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: a profit or like kick you out or whatever. That

514
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: is a fact.

515
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 3: I really love that, Crystal, because that's pretty much what

516
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 3: Jamil and I did. We are in thirteen years in

517
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 3: to our relationship and also not married. Yeah.

518
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: Also so like terror, I feel you girl.

519
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 3: We are in a long term relationship, very very committed,

520
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 3: but we've you know, not really necessarily seeing marriage necessarily

521
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 3: in our future. Maybe maybe not like you said, but

522
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: that don't mean we play around when it comes to

523
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 3: the estate planet. We both sat down. I added him

524
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 3: to my retirement assets as a beneficiary along with some

525
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 3: like you don't have to name only one person, so

526
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 3: you can have multiple beneficiaries. So Jamil is one of

527
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 3: the beneficiaries. I have a big family, so there's others

528
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 3: as well. And then I have a life insurance policy

529
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 3: he is one of the beneficiaries as well as another

530
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: family member, and then he did the same in return

531
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 3: his retirement assets. The beneficiary listed is me as well

532
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 3: as one another person in his family, and same thing

533
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 3: with his life insurance policy where'm listed as a beneficiary.

534
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 3: So you can not have that fear looming over you

535
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 3: every day in your relationship. As he walks out the

536
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 3: door and hops on his bike, you're like, is he

537
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 3: gonna die today and leave me screwed? Like, don't you know,

538
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 3: don't create that situation for yourself because naming yourself, I mean,

539
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 3: that's like the leading cause of death. I feel like

540
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 3: if you look at these bikes.

541
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: I don't think they're getting I don't know, but I

542
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: just feel like the other day I'm red an article.

543
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 3: But like everybody gets on a bike and dies, and

544
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 3: I'm like, why is everybody dying.

545
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: On a bike.

546
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 3: No, you guys got to do that a state planning process,

547
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 3: like Chris said, and it doesn't even have to be

548
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 3: the official formal estate planning whole thing where you have

549
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: a trust or you have a will and you have

550
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 3: all that. But even to us, starting with the simple

551
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: act of adding each other as beneficiaries and establishing joint

552
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 3: ownership on some of your assets and accounts. That could

553
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 3: be the move that he makes to show you that

554
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 3: you know, you are really valued to him and you

555
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 3: guys are equal partners in your partnership, even though a

556
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 3: marriage is not necessarily the thing that creates your partnership, right,

557
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 3: So I do think that's really important. And if you

558
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 3: want to take that next step and you want to

559
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 3: set up a trust, that will be even better because

560
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 3: then it could skip probate. You know, you can have

561
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: a will and you still have to go through probate,

562
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 3: which can be you know, held up in the courts.

563
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 3: We've seen that with a lot of celebrities who unfortunately,

564
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 3: you know, their families kind of are fighting in core

565
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 3: and they're held up in probate to get assets from

566
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 3: the person who passed. So just at the very least

567
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 3: adding beneficiaries and creating joint ownership so that you know

568
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 3: that you have access to things and you're not screwed financially,

569
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: like you said, if he does pass, but also you know,

570
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 3: discussing like maybe potentially a will or a trust or

571
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 3: something bigger, because if your partner is making all this

572
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 3: money as a programmer. He can afford a life insurance

573
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 3: policy for eighty bucks a month with you as a beneficiary,

574
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: and he can afford to set up a will for

575
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 3: a couple hundred bucks online and a trust right, which

576
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 3: is not a ton of money. We're not talking about

577
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars here. We're talking about a couple hundred bucks,

578
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 3: and that can definitely give you the peace of mind

579
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 3: that you need and you can sleep better at night

580
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 3: knowing that you all are on the same page.

581
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: Let's change, you know, the whole diamond thing, the whole

582
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: diamond being like the diamond engagement ring that was just

583
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,239
Speaker 1: a marketing stunt from like or a commercial campaign from

584
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: the early nineteen hundreds. So like, could the new engagement

585
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 1: ring be I love you and I want you to

586
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: be my wife. Here's my four oh one k. I'm

587
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: adding you as a beneficiary today. Will you will you

588
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: take me as your partner for life? Yeah, that's that's

589
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: romantic to me all the study. Put me on your

590
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: four one k baby, like talk dirty to me, Like

591
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: can I be? Can you put me on the deed?

592
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 1: Give me the title? You know what I mean? Like

593
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 1: paper other kinds of paper ownership assets. We need to

594
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: tap into our woman in Pakistan, give me land, give

595
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: me hands out a week. But it's so it's real,

596
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: true people get caught up in like the bridle, the

597
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 1: white dress and the cake and like the venue. And

598
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, babe, what does the what does the paperwork say?

599
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: Because there's some people who are more protected who never

600
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: get married if they do things properly. Then people who

601
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 1: do get married and don't have a prenup because like

602
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: you can go back to listen to our episode with

603
00:27:55,000 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: Aaron Thomas, the prenup attorney, incredible prenup attorney with those book,

604
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 1: listen to that episode from Valentine's Day in February, because

605
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,239
Speaker 1: we talk all about that how even just because you

606
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: get married, it doesn't magically give you protections exactly exact think.

607
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 3: And I love that point, Mandy, because I do feel

608
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,479
Speaker 3: like a lot of my girlfriends are so enamored and

609
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 3: it's like it's been instilled in us since we were

610
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 3: little girls. It's like, oh, the idea of your wedding

611
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: day is the most important day of your life, the

612
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: most special day of your life, and you know you

613
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 3: want to get married once and you have your dressing,

614
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: you have to have your perfect wedding, and it's like

615
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 3: all of that. I don't want to call it shit,

616
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: but it's like it's all symbolism, but what is it?

617
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: Yes, but what is it to?

618
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: What's underneath it? All that actually has meaning and is

619
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 3: the foundation for everything that matters? Is like are you good?

620
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: Are you and the kids gonna be good if he's gone?

621
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 3: Or are y'all gonna be good if she's gone? Like

622
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 3: what is the reality of your life and your livelihood?

623
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 3: That's what really matters. So I just feel like, yeah,

624
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 3: like get get the fluff stuff out of the way

625
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 3: so you can really address what's really important. At the

626
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 3: very least, he should have a life insurance policy. Come on,

627
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: that's I mean, my life insurance policy. I pay seventy

628
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 3: two dollars a month and it's up to one point

629
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 3: five million dollar payout. It's a thirty year term policy.

630
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 3: There ain't no reason why he shouldn't be spending seventy

631
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 3: two dollars a month on an insurance policy like that.

632
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 3: That's chump changed for him as a software engineer. Come on, girl,

633
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: like that's the the bare minimum he can do. Add

634
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 3: you as a beneficiar on the retirement accounts and create

635
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 3: a life insurance policy. Turn policy's fine, something under one

636
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 3: hundred bucks a month. He can afford it, and it

637
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 3: just it's it's a real action, not just words, just

638
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 3: putting action behind the words. If like you are my partner,

639
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 3: you matter so much to me. We've been in this

640
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 3: game for thirteen years together. Let me show you what

641
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 3: that means to me in this way.

642
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: You know, it's going to give you information if what

643
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: if he acts weird about it, then you got a

644
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: red flag, babe. And then I would say, yes, start saving.

645
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, save you the way, but take notes

646
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 3: if he acted skimming off the top. My mom used

647
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 3: to do that. I mean sid I mean, not put

648
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 3: our business out there, but definitely gotta do what you

649
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 3: gotta do.

650
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: A lot of spouses do. Take a little sum for me,

651
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: you know, put it, put it behind the toilet, wherever

652
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: you want to hide it behind the toilet. You know why,

653
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: because I was picturing j Loo in that movie enough

654
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: and I don't think she puts money behind the toilet,

655
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: but there is a pivotal toilet scene. It really made

656
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: an impression on me where she pretends to be peeing

657
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: by putting a bottle of water on the toilet so

658
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: that she can escape her abusive spouse. You'll never enough.

659
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean so it was like a remake of

660
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 3: Sleeping with the Enemy with Julia Roberts from back in

661
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: the day.

662
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: Listen, we don't need to know all that, but yeah,

663
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: I will die on the Jalo hill. I don't know why.

664
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: I think you'll be alone.

665
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 3: It. I like JL, but that movie was for sure

666
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 3: just straight up robbed sleeping with the Enemy, like the

667
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: entire storyline, a lot of the scenes. I'm like, oh,

668
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 3: this is just a just a remake.

669
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts did not learn how to fight blind. No, no,

670
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: she didn't know how to fight Morgan Freeman.

671
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: No she did not, but it was it was that

672
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 3: overarching story.

673
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was a slight very You're right.

674
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 3: You're right, it was a slight very. She was the

675
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 3: Bronx version. It was the Boogie Down Bronx version.

676
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:19,239
Speaker 1: Was blind. She learned how to box blind because she

677
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: was dark. She had to like learn her house fight

678
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 1: him in the dark. She had to fight him in

679
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: the dark so that she you know, it also a

680
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: game of Thrones when Aria Stark when she like has

681
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: to fight the little the ladies.

682
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 3: Ye, well no these are these are old old foot films,

683
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 3: and Joe very old watching this today, like he was

684
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 3: watching enough.

685
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: There's so many characters to forget who that is. Anyway,

686
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: she like turns, she like cuts the candle off, and

687
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: then she's like, oh, you're on my turf now, bitch,

688
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: I'm blind. Now.

689
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 3: No, that was Aria. That was Aria.

690
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: You Chris, they're connected. You're trying to make me, not

691
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: make it. You're trying to discredit Mandy.

692
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 3: I'm with you.

693
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: I'm here girl, I'm with a man gaslighting us.

694
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 3: I'm following you.

695
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: Girl in the middle. Nothing in the middle, the beginning

696
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 1: of Women's History Month. Okay, follow me. Me and yan

697
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: Ellie are on the train. You're trying to keep up.

698
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: You're just right here, like sweating, dripping down your bald head,

699
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: trying to catch a train that you ain't gonna catch it.

700
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: You ain't never gonna catch his train, Chris.

701
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 3: You gotta want to catch the train. In order to

702
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 3: catch the train. You gotta want you gotta want.

703
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: It, want to It's gonna listen. Just take this whole

704
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: episode anyway, j Lo deserved all yes, and she had

705
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: to learn how to box blind so that so she

706
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: could turn the lights off and then win, and then

707
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: women win, women win. That's all you need to know

708
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: about that. Okay, just Maarah is gonna win when she

709
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: listens to this episode and she and I just I

710
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 1: want an update, Tara, because we really want to hear

711
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,959
Speaker 1: that you have as you deserve financial security. Okay, thirteen

712
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: years is a long.

713
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: Time and at least reassure even if you don't have

714
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 3: your own financial independence. You've been in this relationship for

715
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 3: thirteen years and you just are love you that reassurance

716
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: is so important.

717
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: Wants you to be Okay, yep, yeah, all right, another

718
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: colorful episode of the AQA. I love it all right,

719
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 1: big fam, thank you so much for listening, and for

720
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: those of you who are on the train with us,

721
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: I hope you're enjoying the view. We got. We got

722
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: chilled sparkling rose, which is my favorite, like fancy beverage.

723
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: And you know, maybe we'll slow down a little bit

724
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: so Chris can do you hear those tires screeching? Just

725
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: hop on how you can hang on to the back

726
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: of the kaboos gonna go to the kabboos, you know.

727
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 2: But for those of you out there who are who

728
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: are trying to just learn and do better, and you're

729
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 2: running outside the train with me, you know, it's great

730
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 2: to have you there well, striving to get better, you know.

731
00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: Appreciate it. This train is sponsored by Adhd al r

732
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: Ba Fam. Until next time, we'll see you on Monday. Bye,