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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Yeh John.

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Speaker 2: And we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all

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Speaker 2: the Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 3: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

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Speaker 3: two minute outbreak from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they're paying us the bucks

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Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive. My husband's mother insulted me,

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Speaker 1: so I made him choose between us.

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Speaker 4: Choose your mother or me.

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Speaker 1: It looks like we're gonna have two different posts perspectives here,

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Speaker 1: because the first part says wife's post February twenty third,

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. I thirty one female and my fiance,

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Speaker 1: thirty six male, are set to get married in July

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Speaker 1: of this year. We met through a mutual friend earlier

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Speaker 1: last year. Into our relationship progressed quickly. He's literally the

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Speaker 1: perfect guy, but the problem is his mother. Katie, Katya Katie.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user a Life Championship

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Speaker 1: five four zero and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime stub

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Speaker 1: bred it. Katie. It has been critical of me since

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Speaker 1: day one. She often tells my husband that he could

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Speaker 1: do better and that I'm just an educated slummer. I

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Speaker 1: could usually disregard her, but when she proposed, she went

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Speaker 1: to a whole new level. The main incident occurred when

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Speaker 1: we went to visit her a few days ago to

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Speaker 1: announce our engagement. My future husband excitedly showed her the ring,

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Speaker 1: but she just grimaced. She looked at him and I repeat, said,

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Speaker 1: are you really going to marry that R word? Gold digger?

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Speaker 4: Jesus, Mom's evil. This mom's evil. Mom's evil.

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Speaker 1: Maybe tackle your mom. My husband laughed nervously and we

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Speaker 1: left quickly after a little context. I have high functioning autism.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't affect me too much on a daily basis,

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Speaker 1: but I have trouble interpreting emotion. After we got home,

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Speaker 1: I sobbed and asked my husband to tell his mom

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Speaker 1: this needs to stop. He didn't say much, just that

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Speaker 1: he loves me and he will get better, but he

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Speaker 1: can't say anything to his mom.

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Speaker 4: Why can't he say anything to his mom? Is he

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Speaker 4: a little baby?

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Speaker 1: Sounds like it. When I pushed for answers, he said

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Speaker 1: he can't do anything about it and left. His sister

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Speaker 1: sent me a text later telling me I can't make

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Speaker 1: him choose between me and his mother. I'm so confused

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Speaker 1: because I literally didn't even ask him to do that.

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Speaker 4: Is this man congress because his hands are tied.

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Speaker 1: Because he's useless? M Is there something I'm missing? Am I?

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Speaker 1: The A whole has no consensus? OP was not the

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Speaker 1: A hole? Yeah? Ohp, he's not the A hole there

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Speaker 1: as someone else who was diagnosed. You very clearly are

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Speaker 1: missing a non verbal cue from your fiance, and it

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Speaker 1: probably means that he doesn't care about his mom acting

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Speaker 1: like that to you comment or too, not the A whole.

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Speaker 1: You aren't making him choose his mommy is comment with

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Speaker 1: three Roden, don't entertain the idea of marrying this butt hat.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't deserve you. If my mom ever said anything

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Speaker 1: of this sort to my spouse, she'd never see me

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Speaker 1: or hear from me again. Major red flags. He isn't

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Speaker 1: appalled and confronting it on site. I'm just saying, girl,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to deal with that the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life, and you definitely don't want to deal with

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Speaker 1: that during a divorce. Asking to be treated with respect

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Speaker 1: by your future husband's family is honestly the bare minimum

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Speaker 1: and goes without saying he and his family don't seem

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Speaker 1: to have the capacity to do that, and that's embarrassing

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Speaker 1: for them. You deserve so much better than that. Please, please, please,

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Speaker 1: do not waste your time thinking it will change or

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Speaker 1: get better. It won't. They are showing you who they are.

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Speaker 1: Believe them, you will be better off. And we have

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Speaker 1: an update from two days after Sophia. What would you do?

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Speaker 1: What would you do? I would not.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that you necessarily have to break up

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Speaker 4: with this person immediately, but I do think that no

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Speaker 4: marriage should be, you know, started, if this man can't

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Speaker 4: stand up to for you, or stand up to his.

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Speaker 1: Mom, if he's married a child, he's married to his mom.

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Speaker 4: Right well, I think just right now, he's still acting

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Speaker 4: like his his mom is a dependent to his mom. Basically,

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Speaker 4: he's like, oh what I can't I got I got it,

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Speaker 4: I can talk back.

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Speaker 1: She's going to take away my take away, my video

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Speaker 1: doing okay. Update. My fiance came home the next morning

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Speaker 1: two days ago and started acting like everything was normal.

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Speaker 1: He didn't even mention the fight that we had. Finally,

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Speaker 1: that night I sat him down and asked him why

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Speaker 1: he was acting like things were normal. He responded that

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Speaker 1: it was just a minor fight, and we shouldn't dwell

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Speaker 1: on it. This may be mad because it was a

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Speaker 1: big deal for me. Fight made me question our relationship.

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Speaker 1: I told him this, and he scoffed. In that moment,

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Speaker 1: I looked at him and I asked him, is it

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Speaker 1: really not a big deal that your mother called me

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Speaker 1: the urseler and a gold digger? He just scoffed again

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Speaker 1: and said something about her getting older and not knowing

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Speaker 1: what that meant.

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Speaker 4: Oh, you dumb, me so dumb, You're so dumb.

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Speaker 1: Just couldn't keep going. I was done. His mother is

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Speaker 1: sixty three years old and acts the same way she

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Speaker 1: did when I met her years ago. I packed a bag,

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Speaker 1: called my friend to pick me up, and left. I've

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Speaker 1: been staying at her place since then. Not sure where

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Speaker 1: my life is headed. Now it's headed to not dating

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Speaker 1: this guy who is, like I don't know, in love

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Speaker 1: with his mom more than you. Top comments number one.

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Speaker 1: Your life has headed to freedom and happiness. Your boyfriend

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Speaker 1: can remain tied to mommy forever. Maybe she can even

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Speaker 1: learned to do that thing he really likes.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Well we didn't have to say okay.

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Speaker 1: Commenter two. He knows that it wasn't a minor fight.

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Speaker 1: He just knows that you're in the right about it

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Speaker 1: and doesn't want to address it. Number three seems to

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Speaker 1: me your life is moving in a better direction away

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Speaker 1: from your mama's boy who clearly doesn't respect you and

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Speaker 1: will never stand up to you. Comment number four, Good

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Speaker 1: for you for standing up for yourself. I'm proud of you.

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Speaker 1: It feels dark and difficult right now, and it's okay

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Speaker 1: to grieve the loss of the relationship and the person

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Speaker 1: he was. Eventually, you'll find yourself feeling much lighter without

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Speaker 1: that weight dragging you down. I don't mean, I mean

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Speaker 1: the way his mom and then he made you feel,

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Speaker 1: and you'll find your happiness again. The number two two

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Speaker 1: days later, once again, let's get into it to dive in.

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Speaker 1: Am I eagle for choosing my mom over my fiance? WHOA?

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Speaker 4: It's the perspective alert, alert, perspective. We're about to find

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Speaker 4: out if the supers this perspective was just wildly off base.

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Speaker 1: I doubt it, and I doubt it. I think mommy boy,

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Speaker 1: mommy boy, mommy mommy mommy boy. So a mommy boy,

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Speaker 1: Hey rat it? Yesterday my friend sent me a post

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Speaker 1: on this subreddit that was made by my fiance. She

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Speaker 1: totally makes me look like a villain, so I just

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Speaker 1: have to say my side. We've been dating for a

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Speaker 1: while now and it's been great, aside from the past

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Speaker 1: few days. My mother's sixty three female is a single

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Speaker 1: mother that raised me and my sister alone. She's always

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Speaker 1: been the most supportive mother ever and I love her

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Speaker 1: to the end of the world. She is getting on

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Speaker 1: in her years now. Sixty three is not that old buddy.

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Speaker 1: She is getting on in her years now and is

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Speaker 1: not the same person she was. She has always been

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Speaker 1: a little overprotective of me, and so she has never

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Speaker 1: fully accepted my fiance. I didn't think it was that

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Speaker 1: big of a deal since she doesn't say anything directly

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Speaker 1: to my fiance. Last weekend, when we were announcing our

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Speaker 1: engagement at her house, my mom wasn't too thrilled, and

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Speaker 1: I admit she made a rude remark regarding my fiel's auntis.

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Speaker 1: We left quickly after, and I comforted my fiance for

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Speaker 1: over an hour. Over an hour, dude, I heard, like

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Speaker 1: over an hour doing what I was doing. The most

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Speaker 1: I've made up for it.

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Speaker 4: Does she want two hours Jesus, I have a life.

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Speaker 1: I ordered her takeout, made a bath for her, and

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Speaker 1: put on a movie. I explained to her that my

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Speaker 1: mom is getting older and doesn't have full control of

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Speaker 1: what she says.

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Speaker 4: Sixty three.

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Speaker 1: My fiance kept pushing and I eventually snapped and told

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Speaker 1: her I can't do anything about it. I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: my fiance understands because she doesn't have a close bond

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Speaker 1: with her mom. I stayed at my mom's house and

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Speaker 1: went back in the morning. Long argument short. My fiance

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Speaker 1: started blowing the comments my mother made way out of proportion,

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Speaker 1: not even bothering to mention her age. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: my mom is old now. She doesn't understand this fully.

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Speaker 4: She's soul. Well, she's like ancient.

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Speaker 1: She left and I haven't seen her since. Her friend

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Speaker 1: comes contacted me and said, I'm the ale for choosing

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Speaker 1: my mom over her. I'm not choosing my mom over

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Speaker 1: her though, and we're still getting married. So and are

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Speaker 1: the a hole? Old buddy? Do I have some news

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Speaker 1: for You're? All right? So we gave him his trial

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Speaker 1: Boil boy, the jury jury, what do we think guilty?

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Speaker 1: That says op was heavily voted You're the a hole.

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Speaker 1: What I didn't even need to see that. I want

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Speaker 1: to see the comments. Okay, let's go Commenter one, You

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Speaker 1: are the e fing a hole. Your mom called your

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Speaker 1: autistic Beyonce and Ursler gold digger. How is that not

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Speaker 1: a big deal? There is no good fing excuse for

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Speaker 1: your mom to call her that. And I'm not buying

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Speaker 1: the whole age excuse because my mom is five years

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Speaker 1: younger than yours and she's very much alert and aware

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Speaker 1: of what isn't isn't okay to say to other people.

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Speaker 1: Unless your mom has early onset dementia, she knows exactly

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Speaker 1: what the f she's doing. You're an fing mommy's boy

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Speaker 1: who can't stay end up for your fiance's dignity. Effing

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Speaker 1: pathetic shame upon you, shame stinging shame number two. Age

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Speaker 1: is not an excuse to be a crappy person. After

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Speaker 1: sixty three years, your mother doesn't have the self control

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Speaker 1: to keep rude comments to herself. You absolutely could have

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Speaker 1: done something. You chose not to defend your fiance because

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Speaker 1: you're too busy hanging on mommy's teat. You're the a

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Speaker 1: hole and your fiance dodged in efing nuke number three.

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Speaker 1: Perhaps you should have remained quiet and let us think

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Speaker 1: you're a butt instead of posting and removing all doubts.

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Speaker 1: That's truly commentary for the whole point of getting married

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Speaker 1: is to create a new immediate family. That means your

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Speaker 1: wife and future kids are your number one priority, and cousins,

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Speaker 1: uncles and parents are a second or third priority. I

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Speaker 1: speak from experience where my aging mother is also a filterless,

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Speaker 1: discriminatory ahle who spoke down on my Filipino wife. Guess

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Speaker 1: what I did. I chewed her about and gave her

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Speaker 1: one opportunity to make it right. You only got one

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Speaker 1: shut Do not miss your chance to blow. My mom

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Speaker 1: can't control her tongue, so I've since gone no contact.

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Speaker 1: It's been nine years since I last spoke to her,

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Speaker 1: and my wife and I just celebrated our eleventh anniversary.

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Speaker 1: You're the a hole and will always be the a

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Speaker 1: hole until you put your wife first. Always. Now go

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Speaker 1: beg for forgiveness with your fiance. Chew your mom out

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Speaker 1: and tell her she's got one chance to apologize or

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Speaker 1: she loses her son. Otherwise, you don't deserve your fiance.

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Speaker 1: And we've got another update from the wife because definitely

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Speaker 1: little cry baby mama boy is not going to have

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Speaker 1: the guts to update his post.

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Speaker 4: This is start off with I so I'm not getting

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Speaker 4: married anymore. I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I'm crossing my fingers. Wife's post. February twenty seventh, twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty five. Final update. As some of you may have seen,

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Speaker 1: my fiance posted and am I the a hole post

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Speaker 1: earlier today. I haven't seen him since our last fight.

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Speaker 1: He was pretty much getting destroyed in the comments, so

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Speaker 1: that made me feel a little better. Here's a link

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Speaker 1: to the post. So after this post, he calls me,

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Speaker 1: and like an idiot, I picked up and let me

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Speaker 1: tell you, this man did not sound stable. First he

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Speaker 1: was crying, begging for me back. Then he was screaming

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Speaker 1: at me to get the f back here. It was

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Speaker 1: heartbreaking to hear the man I thought I was gonna marry.

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Speaker 1: He sounds so psycho. I recorded the call just in

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Speaker 1: case I needed evidence, and then I hung up and

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Speaker 1: blocked him everywhere and by the way, you can listen

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Speaker 1: to full episodes with stories like this practically everywhere like

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and Spotify and Apple podcasts and any other podcast

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Speaker 1: platform that you can listen to with your ears. Just

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Speaker 1: search okay story time and you will find day's fifty

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Speaker 1: one fifty one day, fifty one days in counting worth

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Speaker 1: of stories. And that's not eight hour days, that's twenty

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Speaker 1: four hour days. That is a lot. We have a

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Speaker 1: little bit of story left. Do we have anything else here?

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Speaker 4: No, you dodded a really.

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Speaker 1: Big Yes, you dodged a nuclear bomb shaped bullet.

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Speaker 4: You dodged an asteroid.

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Speaker 1: We do that all the time. I mean like as

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Speaker 1: a planet. As a planet, we don't really dodging and

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Speaker 1: ask you're so, you're very You're a natural.

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Speaker 4: A city, a city killing asteroid.

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Speaker 1: About an hour later, he shows up to my friend's house,

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Speaker 1: acting crazy and saying some things I can't repeat here.

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Speaker 1: I called the police, and after they took him away,

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Speaker 1: I left to stay at a hotel. My friend has

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Speaker 1: been really supportive, but I can't put her in danger.

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Speaker 1: I hope this is the final update, But if anything

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Speaker 1: else happens, is there a different sub I can post in.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm deviating from amid a hole. Sorry

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Speaker 1: if this isn't edited properly. I just can't with life today,

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Speaker 1: and again, thanks for all the support. It truly means

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Speaker 1: more than I could ever say. And we have some

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Speaker 1: more comments to finish it off. Number one kind of

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Speaker 1: sounds like your dodge to the crazy bullet. Number two.

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Speaker 1: Just read your ex fiance's post, what a spineless mama's boy.

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Speaker 1: Good for you for finally seeing you deserve so much

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Speaker 1: better than settling for him and his mommy. Number three?

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Speaker 1: Can his mommy put him in time out? Number four?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, the consequences of my actions. That's that's a

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Speaker 1: quote from him, and that is the end of that.

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Speaker 1: Wowry wow, wow wow. And I feel the need to

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Speaker 1: readdress that. When I made that joke, when I said,

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Speaker 1: what is she the ursler? I was speaking in character

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Speaker 1: as the husband. I want no backlash from that? Whatsoever?

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Speaker 1: Do it? None? Ansel, I want zero backlash from that.

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Speaker 4: You just tune character.

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Speaker 1: Man. I'm committed to the bit. Literally on my Hinge profile,

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Speaker 1: I said, my love language is committing to the bit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how's that going? Not well?

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Speaker 4: My mother in law guilt tripped my husband to attend

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Speaker 4: a party then excluded me.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like she got exactly what she wanted.

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Speaker 4: Missus Bennett and the family wedding. Hey there, usually I

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Speaker 4: stick to the comments and the tiny rant thread, but

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Speaker 4: I figured this was a good time to post. Tell

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Speaker 4: me how to feel my mother in law, henceforth, missus Bennett.

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Speaker 4: I don't think we've had a Missus Bennett yet, and

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Speaker 4: I've been here quite a while. It's just like her

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Speaker 4: name would suggest, overbearing, obsessed with whatever life milestone she

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Speaker 4: thinks her son should be having, but not her daughter's.

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Speaker 4: Strangely enough, and such a martyr that I don't know

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Speaker 4: why she bothers living indoors, considering all the time she

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Speaker 4: spends up on her cross bonas she belongs to a

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Speaker 4: mega creepy mega church. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 4: the Wasted Unicorn. And if you want to smit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to our slash okay storytime.

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Speaker 1: Separate it.

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Speaker 4: So, my husband and I are both in our mid thirties,

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Speaker 4: married several years without children. She and his guilt about

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Speaker 4: her widowhood is the major reason I hesitate to impale

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Speaker 4: myself on his unsheathed sword of manhood. Also, I like

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Speaker 4: soft cheese and booze.

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Speaker 1: What also I like soft cheese and boo I mean

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Speaker 1: so do I very important information there.

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Speaker 4: He has one older sister from whom he is estranged,

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Speaker 4: but both the sister and Missus Bennett are in denial

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Speaker 4: about this. Mister Bennett is passed away from a freak

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Speaker 4: medical accident. I only met him once and I will

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Speaker 4: forever wonder if he was cool or a total ennabler.

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Speaker 4: My relationship with Missus Bennett and my tolerance for her

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Speaker 4: antics went to crap when he passed away. Please trust

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Speaker 4: me when I say that she is of the deaths

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Speaker 4: from a thousand cuts, and I am effing done. I

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Speaker 4: have not seen her in a year and a half.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, I love the intelligence oozing from Op's writing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Missus Bennett is love bombing and image obsessed, which

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Speaker 4: means she has a lot of creepily ameshed family friend

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Speaker 4: Their family party line is that so and so has

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Speaker 4: really been there for the Bennett family in hard times.

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Speaker 4: She refers to them as part of the family, including

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Speaker 4: his sister, calling the mother of variation on mom and

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Speaker 4: their last name. She uses this as a reason to

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Speaker 4: try to obligate my husband and to a lesser extent me.

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Speaker 4: I suppose he's supposed to get me in line to

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Speaker 4: do things with and for this family that we never

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Speaker 4: see and a small part of whom we both flat

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Speaker 4: out loave. Oh the incidental stories I could tell of

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Speaker 4: front airbag jobs, pja's weddings and gender reveals.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh.

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Speaker 4: The latest deal is that he had been invited to

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Speaker 4: a wedding clear across the country from this family, both

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Speaker 4: of us. Despite missus Bennett swearing it must have been

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Speaker 4: an honest mistake, it's pretty clear to me that even

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Speaker 4: if it is a mistake, my husband simply does not

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Speaker 4: interact with any of them enough for them to realize

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Speaker 4: he's married. He's also offended on our behalf. But I'm

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Speaker 4: contending with his mother a offering to pay for him

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Speaker 4: to go be guilting the crap out of him, because

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Speaker 4: embly it will somehow look bad if he doesn't fly

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Speaker 4: across country to attend the wedding of these people. He

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Speaker 4: doesn't even wish a happy birthday on Facebook. He seems

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Speaker 4: to be buying the people will be disappointed if I

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Speaker 4: don't go party line. I've told him I really appreciate

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Speaker 4: it if he didn't go, mistake or not. On principle,

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Speaker 4: he also told his mother, who told him it would

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Speaker 4: mean so much. Fute read it would make me look

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Speaker 4: good if you go that he'd prefer to just visit

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Speaker 4: her for a birthday, which is coming up around the

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Speaker 4: same time and is cheaper. Side note, she's always guilting

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Speaker 4: him about her financial situation. No, he does not contribute.

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Speaker 4: That's a hill to pass away on for me. He

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Speaker 4: does not contribute to like your expenses.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe like they just are very militant about finances.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell true meaning of that.

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Speaker 4: Yet She'll spend five hundred dollars plus for him to

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Speaker 4: fly out for this wedding, and she spends two hundred

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Speaker 4: dollars to three hundred dollars on each of us for

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Speaker 4: birthdays and Christmas despite my protests.

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Speaker 1: So this is effing b oh Okay, I think I

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Speaker 1: get it. I think it's more like she's like, we

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Speaker 1: can't be giving your mom money. Yeah, and then but

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Speaker 1: her mom keeps giving them stuff that costs a lot

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Speaker 1: of money, and she's like, stop doing this because we

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Speaker 1: don't want to owe you. We know what you're doing.

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Speaker 4: So what would you do or say to him anything? Nothing?

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Speaker 4: I do realize she's my beec, so I could be

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Speaker 4: overthinking it, But what's BCEC? I also accept creative things

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Speaker 4: to fling at her while she's up on her cross

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Speaker 4: of loving too much and there is an update. My

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Speaker 4: husband left me for his mother or Missus Bennett and

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Speaker 4: the end of my marriage. Whoa, we found the problem.

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Speaker 4: First of all, thanks so much for the comments. On

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Speaker 4: the plus side, I guess now I don't have to

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Speaker 4: keep quiet about Missus Bennett out of fear of my

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Speaker 4: husband finding out and getting offended. My mom has been

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Speaker 4: here taking care of me and cleaning my apartment for me.

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Speaker 4: She's amazing. I've been to the doctor to get my

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Speaker 4: own health taken care of because I don't haven't durant anymore,

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Speaker 4: and I let my friends know what's going on. As

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Speaker 4: for a legal.

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Speaker 1: Referral, okay, pause, that acronym basically just means that it's

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Speaker 1: a person who everything that they do annoys you. Interesting.

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Speaker 1: What does this stand? It stands for B word eating crackers.

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Speaker 1: I think is like internet learing. Like I'm old now.

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Speaker 4: Also, I have accepted a job as a literary agent.

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Speaker 4: This is an absolute dream of mine. Very cool, but

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Speaker 4: since that income is sales based, I will be working

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Speaker 4: freelance and part time. I have an interview at a

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Speaker 4: bookstore on Tuesday to try and make ends meet.

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Speaker 1: Buckle down.

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Speaker 4: This is long. Here's what led up to the showdown.

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Speaker 4: Husband had to have some surgery. It was minorish, but

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Speaker 4: it had been causing him a great deal of pain.

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Speaker 4: This was a little slash, a lot scary. His father

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Speaker 4: passed away unexpectedly after surgery. But hey, this is what

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Speaker 4: people get married for. Only it's cool that I'm there

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Speaker 4: for moral support, but missus Bennett.

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Speaker 1: Needs to be there, you guys.

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Speaker 4: He went for a week or more, never mentioning it,

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Speaker 4: to suddenly having to having to have her there lest

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Speaker 4: you pass away. I knew what this was. Once again,

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Speaker 4: his mother had pushed all of his preprogrammed buttons to

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Speaker 4: make him feel like he'd be better off if she

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Speaker 4: were just there to control supervis thing. She tried to

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Speaker 4: tell him her non medical experience was vital to his survival.

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Speaker 4: He wants had a bad reaction to a post anesthesia

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Speaker 4: medication and she was present and alerted the staff. Definitely

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Speaker 4: not something the law school educated woman whom he is

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Speaker 4: married to could handle. This became a make it or

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Speaker 4: break a fight where eventually he decided that he would

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Speaker 4: tell her to stay home. We would go to marriage

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Speaker 4: counseling after the surgery, which I've been asking for years,

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Speaker 4: and other important stuff. I felt rather hopeful, like he

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Speaker 4: was finally hearing me.

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Speaker 1: Oohoo.

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Speaker 4: Was she unhappy? She kept insisting on coming up, despite

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Speaker 4: him telling her no repeatedly. Then she insisted that he

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Speaker 4: fill out paperwork so that she would be privy to

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Speaker 4: his medical records, since that darn oh hippo would get

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Speaker 4: in the way. I don't know if he ever did.

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Speaker 1: That.

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Speaker 4: Surgery day arrived, and during pre op, my husband asked

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Speaker 4: me to text his mother if the surgeon ran particularly late.

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Speaker 4: I agreed it was fifteen minutes, so I didn't. I

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Speaker 4: hugged him goodbye and sent him off to be dissected,

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Speaker 4: then waited anxiously. The surgery went fine. They sent me

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Speaker 4: back to the recovery room a half hour later. I

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Speaker 4: kept thinking they'd call me back any second, and he

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Speaker 4: groggily asked me in to text her to tell her

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Speaker 4: it went fine. She immediately texted back very specific questions

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Speaker 4: of a medical nature that were frankly none of her

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Speaker 4: goddang business. So I ignored them and figured I'd let

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Speaker 4: my husband decide if he wanted to share details. Five

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Speaker 4: minutes later, a couple of nurses came to the recovery

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Speaker 4: room and said to his maiden nurse, apparently husband's mother

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Speaker 4: is on the phone wanting to talk to him. She

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Speaker 4: actually called the surgery center. She actually interrupted busy nurses

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Speaker 4: and office staff because she didn't get her nosy questions answered.

432
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 4: The nurses saw the oh not this crap again, look

433
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 4: on my face, you know the one, the one that

434
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 4: says I will incinerate her with the power of my mind,

435
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 4: and had a telepathic conversation with each other. Finally, one said, husband,

436
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 4: would you like us to tell her you're doing fine?

437
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 4: We need your permission. He groaned and gave them the

438
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 4: thumbs up. The main older nurse said, oh, is your

439
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 4: mother overbearing? He growned again and didn't deny it. The

440
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 4: nurse chuckled and said, I noticed your wife isn't saying

441
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 4: a word. So is your mother a nurse or a doctor? No,

442
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 4: he said she was a non medical job taking place

443
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 4: in a hospital for years. The nurse looked at him.

444
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 1: And just laughed. Hmmm. She said meaningfully, yes, hmmmm, mom

445
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: sucks M My mom sucks M.

446
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,719
Speaker 4: So we went home and I took care of him

447
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 4: as best as I could. The next day, he decided

448
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 4: he was ready to eat something more substantial and told

449
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 4: me this just as I had gotten out of the shower. Well,

450
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 4: we'd been grocery shopping the day before the sougeries surgery. Well,

451
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 4: we'd been grocery shopping the day before the surgery, so

452
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 4: we had bland food on him. None of this was

453
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 4: what he wanted. He wanted me to go get a

454
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 4: rotiserie chicken from the grocery store.

455
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: Now, I want the rough tissery chicken from the grocery store.

456
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 4: I said I would, but right now my hair was

457
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,199
Speaker 4: wet and I wasn't ready to go out yet. Or

458
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 4: I could saw some chicken from the freezer and make that. Well,

459
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 4: this started with the tantrum. He went to the store anyway.

460
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,199
Speaker 4: Don't worry, he was only taking ibuprofen. I wouldn't have

461
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,479
Speaker 4: let him drive otherwise. And came back angry.

462
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: Wait, you could just go to the store anyway at

463
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 1: this point, Yeah.

464
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 4: And you're trying to make your wife do You're mad.

465
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 4: You're mad that your wife just got out of the shower.

466
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: I had to take five hundred milligrams of ibuprofe and

467
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 1: to get down there.

468
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 4: Okay, when she was offering to make you literally any

469
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 4: other food girl up brother the next day, guess who

470
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 4: didn't listen and actually drove up here anyway up his mother.

471
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 4: Apparently he saw her, confronted her about the calling the

472
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 4: surgery center, and she told him I hadn't texted until

473
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 4: she called. This is not true, but I'm willing to

474
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 4: believe that perhaps she didn't receive my text until ben.

475
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 4: When I asked why he was acting weird, he accused

476
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,959
Speaker 4: me of lying because he's seen the phone logs from

477
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 4: his mother, not having his back during the surgery, not

478
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 4: texting his mother. As soon as I knew he was okay,

479
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 4: which I should have known to do. Making it all

480
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 4: about me making a power play, he screamed at me,

481
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 4: told me I was being manipulative. When I burst into

482
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: tears and what I said, I was entitled to my feelings.

483
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,360
Speaker 4: He yelled, well, whooped in you? In the nastiest voice

484
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: I'd ever heard of. It's sort of funny now, but

485
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 4: holy crap, I was stun It's funny that that.

486
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 1: Was whipped and I never ever heard him speak to

487
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: me like that.

488
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 4: Then he announced he wanted a divorce, and there we are. Later,

489
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 4: I realized that he had spent the time I was

490
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 4: at book club packing his crap and loading it into

491
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 4: his car. Since then, I've read a bunch of books

492
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 4: on emotional and verbal abuse and realized that, holy crap,

493
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 4: I've been in a verbally and financially harmful marriage and

494
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 4: had no idea. So that's where we are now. I

495
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 4: do not want him back. It hit me last night that,

496
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 4: holy crap, I don't have to deal with Missus Bennett

497
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 4: and her over gifting during my birthday and Chris mats this,

498
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 4: as you can imagine, has been an incredible belief. The

499
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 4: financial stuff is weighing heavily on me, but at least

500
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 4: I don't have to put up with her abuse anymore.

501
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 4: I'm terrified today again, but man, it would be nice

502
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 4: to have regular, spicy sleep once more. Guess what else

503
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 4: I wasn't getting in my marriage but thought Slash was

504
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 4: told it was my fault.

505
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 1: I think, I think, I know.

506
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 4: Thanks again for all your kindness and wisdom folks. I

507
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 4: wouldn't be able to do this without you all. And

508
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 4: there is an update. Okay, yeah, I think this was

509
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 4: the best way to go about it.

510
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, I mean, were you going to stay with him. Yeah, no,

511
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: and was he couldn't clearly not, so he just kind

512
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: of got it out of the way.

513
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 4: He got Yeah, he let you free. He freed you

514
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 4: from this terrible family and marriage free at.

515
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: Last, Dobby Free.

516
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 4: It's been a year and a half and it's still

517
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 4: so painful. Trigger warning fertility self harming thoughts not acted

518
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 4: upon in anyway. About a year and a half ago,

519
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 4: my soon to be ex husband left me for his mother.

520
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 4: She has been horrible for years, and we had fought

521
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 4: bitterly about her crazy for his mother.

522
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: It's even crazier, though, is that it's not even it's

523
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: that's accurate.

524
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 4: That is accurate, among other things. But then she meddled

525
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 4: during a minor surgery I had had it, refused to

526
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 4: play their game, and he ended up leaving. It was

527
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 4: awful and traumatic. I realized he had been verbally, emotionally

528
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 4: and financially harmful for years. I thought I just deserved

529
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 4: it all, and I've been recovering ever since. In a

530
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 4: lot of ways, life is so much better now, but

531
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 4: I don't know how to get over one thing, and

532
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 4: that is he specifically knew I wanted children. I married

533
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 4: him because that was our general plan barring fertility issues

534
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 4: and other things out of one's control. But he left

535
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 4: me right before my thirty fourth birthday thirty five almost

536
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 4: thirty six now, and I'm just so sad and worried

537
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 4: that I'll never get to have kids. Mother's Day this

538
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 4: year was so painful that the panicky voice in the

539
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 4: back of my head was nearly self I am not

540
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 4: self harming, but one of the fun manifestations of my

541
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 4: panic disorder is that my brain is like self harming thoughts.

542
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 4: I have been in CBT and aware of it being

543
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 4: part of my brain being an ale I won't act

544
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 4: on it other than crying in bed for.

545
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: A while, but it's there and it's awful.

546
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 4: A lot of these worries are exacerbated by the fact

547
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 4: that I have had trouble finding steady work. On paper,

548
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 4: I am wildly overqualified for most of the work I

549
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 4: apply for, but I can't seem to convince employers that

550
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 4: all I want is a steady, full time job at

551
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 4: a living wage. During my marriage, my contributions were devalued

552
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 4: two so while I have slowly he started building a

553
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 4: reputation in my dream career over the year and a half,

554
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 4: since he left, I'm still working five jobs, have crushing

555
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 4: student loans, can't quite make ends meet, and keep hearing

556
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: my ex's voice in my head. They won't hire you.

557
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 4: You shouldn't bother. You need to get a job. You're

558
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 4: a train No not that job. No, you won't be

559
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 4: able to do that. I wrote you a cover letter,

560
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 4: but don't you dare edit or I will punish you

561
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 4: with passive aggression for days on end. Why are you

562
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 4: spending so much money on groceries? It costs too much

563
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 4: to support you. My mother sent you a job posting

564
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 4: for your former career. It will require reactivating your license

565
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 4: and us moving six hours to be near. Why aren't

566
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 4: you applying?

567
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: You know the drill? That guy sounds like yea yeah,

568
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: real piece of work. Yeah yeai.

569
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 4: So while I actually love being on my own and

570
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 4: I have met a man who has taught me what

571
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 4: a loving relationship is like, did you know there are

572
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 4: people out there who genuinely love spending time with you

573
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 4: and giving you attention and affection is something they like

574
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 4: to do. I didn't. I'm still in limbo. Even if

575
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 4: we were ready to have children and our relationship and

576
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 4: we're not, and not in any place to financially do it.

577
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 4: I'm having a hard time believing I ever will be.

578
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 4: It hurts so bad, and there are times, especially Mother's Day,

579
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 4: where I feel such rage. He once flat out said

580
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 4: he was going to leave, but felt bad because I

581
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 4: wanted kids and he knew my time was running out.

582
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 4: Then he'd pretend to be interested in working on the

583
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 4: marriage and kept me on the hook.

584
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: For two more years.

585
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 4: As always, this was my fault. Grateful I never had

586
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 4: children with him. On the other hand, it's so hard

587
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 4: to know he gets everything he wants, his money, his career,

588
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 4: his mommy, his new girlfriend, and their dogs. Ex mother

589
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 4: in law refers to herself as Grammy to the dogs.

590
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 4: Barf and I get to completely start over with nothing,

591
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 4: But you know it's not nothing listening to full episodes

592
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 4: of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

593
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 4: or i Art Radio and search a Pokes story time.

594
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: You are not starting over with nothing.

595
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 4: You're absolutely not. I mean, you're thirty six. That is

596
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 4: not at all like you. Your life is just beginning.

597
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: You've gone from. This is what I have available to me.

598
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: This is my sliver, narrow eye, liver of the world. Now,

599
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 1: it's so many options, risk could go all the way around.

600
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: It'd be like you have the whole the whole globe.

601
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're currently dating a guy, you know, and if

602
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 4: you being in a place where you can have children

603
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 4: when you're forty, then maybe it's time, you know, maybe

604
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 4: we think of an adoption. You know, there are many

605
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 4: different options if biological children are not you know, possible.

606
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit left to the story.

607
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 4: The worst part is that it's invisible pain. So it's

608
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 4: not like I can point to a physical wound and say, well,

609
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: it looks so much better than in this time last year.

610
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 4: I think people expect me to be over it by now,

611
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 4: after all, we didn't have kids. How do you deal

612
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 4: with this without being so bitter? Does it get better?

613
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 4: Please tell me it gets better.

614
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: It gets better. Yeah, it just takes time.

615
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 4: I mean, you're in a marriage, takes more. It's going

616
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 4: to take more than a year.

617
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: But it'll get better. But that is the end of

618
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: that story. Maybe like maybe like move somewhere else, like

619
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: a different start, start a new life. I mean, having

620
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: your support steps Like tattoo is about I have tattoo

621
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: that says a man is no one, and it means

622
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: that you can just go do whatever. At any point,

623
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: you can wipe the whole thing.

624
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 4: I mean, you don't live in yourself. You have no

625
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: limits right now.

626
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can go do anything you want.

627
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 4: But also you know your support Hopefully you have a

628
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 4: support system, and if you do, then you know rely

629
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 4: on them. But that is the end of that story.

630
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 4: So we're going to jump into NEXTI good.

631
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here reading it. Back

632
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

633
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: My friend is manipulative. She turned our friends against me.

634
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: You a little bit about me before we get into

635
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: the story. I am antisocial and have autism. I can't

636
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: read people's emotions as well as most people. I get

637
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: hyperactive over little things. I have bad social skills. I

638
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 2: copy from other people, so I'm like a shadow. I

639
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 2: also don't like big groups of people, and I prefer

640
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: my small group of close friends. I've said this a

641
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: few times before the whole problem started, so I never

642
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 2: used this as an excuse, though, but I thought the

643
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: group understood.

644
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 1: Yes they didn't.

645
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from round programmer nine four four.

646
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories. Go to

647
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: our slash Okay story times. I wrote it so, I

648
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 2: nineteen female, had a friend group that I had known

649
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: for over three years. At the start of it, it

650
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: was myself and sick other guys. The guys in this

651
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: group often described me as the light or the party

652
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: of the group, one being my boyfriend, another being my

653
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 2: best friend, and the rest being pretty good and close friends,

654
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: or so I thought. My best friend and I became

655
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: best friends after ten months of meeting online, and this

656
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 2: will become important. Keep in mind he started calling me

657
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 2: his best friend first. This is also important. For most

658
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 2: of the time, I wish there were females in the group,

659
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: which we did have for some time, but they would

660
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: turn toxic or pick on me for some reason. This

661
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 2: changed when two girls joined the group about a year

662
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: and a half later.

663
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: I was very.

664
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 2: Excited to have them and we became good friends right away.

665
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: August twenty twenty four comes around, and this is where

666
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 2: things started to get weird. Girl two of the group

667
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 2: was dating another guy in the group when she first joined.

668
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: When we met them in May twenty twenty four, we

669
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: found out they had been dating for just over three years.

670
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 2: While Girl two was social loud, nice and everything. The

671
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,479
Speaker 2: eye was quiet, shy, mostly kept to himself. Not too

672
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: long after, another guy joined the group and Girl too

673
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: started talking too and getting close to him. About two

674
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: months later, the couple broke up and she got even

675
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: closer to new guy. In August, she got upset because

676
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 2: he ghosted her. And this time my boyfriend and I

677
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: drove from Queensland to Victoria. I think that's Australia, nearly

678
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 2: a day's trip to see our good friend, who I

679
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: will call Guy one from now on. As we sat

680
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 2: around the table, Guy one was texting Girl Too and

681
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 2: later asked it would be okay if she would come over.

682
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I said sure, and we went to

683
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: pick her up. The airbnb we were staying at had stairs.

684
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: This is also important, A lot of important detail, of

685
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 2: important details, lots of them. For the first night we

686
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 2: had together, all was good, all was well. The next

687
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 2: day we went shopping for food and drinks for all adults,

688
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 2: and we got back, had dinner, and this was when

689
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 2: we started drinking and things started to get a little exciting.

690
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 2: My boyfriend was the only one sober. Guy one got

691
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: a little tipsy and Girl two got wasted. Started looking

692
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 2: after her, though tipsy myself like having her still on

693
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 2: the couch. She was sitting on a stool and was

694
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 2: swaying and I didn't want her to fall. Well, we

695
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 2: started playing truth or Dare, and Guy one asked my

696
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: boyfriend to dare him, and Guy one and Girl Too kissed.

697
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: I was excited about because Guy one hadn't dated anyone

698
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: in five years.

699
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: Okay, so I guess this is good.

700
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 3: But so far everyone's getting saucy, but nothing as bad

701
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: as that'll kissy you a little fun, But it's fun

702
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 3: so far.

703
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: The night went well, and after a little more drinking,

704
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: Guy one carried Girl two up the stairs to the

705
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: room and slept with her. The next morning came around

706
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 2: and all was well since there wasn't any throwing up,

707
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 2: surprisingly to me because it was the first time drinking.

708
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,479
Speaker 2: And during the day, Girl Too would go up and

709
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 2: down the stairs as normal, but there would be times

710
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: she would freeze at the stairs, as if she had

711
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 2: just seen a crime. Guy one would then come pick

712
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: her up and take her to their room, where at

713
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: least five minutes later, my boyfriend and I would hear

714
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: roars of laughter, not from I won, but from Girl too,

715
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 2: as if she had just heard the most hilarious joke.

716
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: My boyfriend got a little upset due to them spending

717
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: two hours together each time this happened, and since we

718
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 2: drove all the way there for him to spend time

719
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 2: with Guy one, I would either spend time with the

720
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: girls or go see my mom. My boyfriend told me

721
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 2: how he felt, to which I responded, you should talk

722
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: to him, not to me. This is your friendship. My

723
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend did talk to him and got Guy one to

724
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 2: come outside and chat, leaving me and Girl two alone.

725
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 2: She was on her drawing pad while I was doing

726
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 2: dishes after cooking dinner for them. A few minutes went

727
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: by and she asked what the boys were talking about.

728
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: I responded, don't know, probably guy talk. She scoffed and

729
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 2: went back to her drawing pad. Another few minutes past

730
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 2: and she asked again, to which I gave the same response.

731
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 2: And during this time I tried to talk to her,

732
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 2: but she only gave me short answers and continued drawing.

733
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: It had been thirty minutes when she scoffed, what the

734
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 2: f are they talking about?

735
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 1: I don't know.

736
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 2: My boyfriend just wanted to talk to him. They should

737
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 2: include us, though I just shrugged and Girl Too was

738
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 2: getting a little while my boyfriend was looking at his phone.

739
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,479
Speaker 2: I said to Girl Too, I'll ask if we can

740
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: join Pop my head outside asked we come out, which

741
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: they said sure. We joined them. We started talking about

742
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:10,959
Speaker 2: what we were going to do the next day. Guy

743
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: one just a walk. Girl Too then said what about

744
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: me and op and they Guy one said you can

745
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: join it? Are you girls can join? Guy one responded,

746
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 2: she scoff saying you could have at least asked.

747
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: We just looked at each other and afterward we left

748
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: to bed.

749
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,479
Speaker 2: The next couple of days went by and Girl Too

750
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,879
Speaker 2: continued acting up at the stairs, freezing, having Guy one

751
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 2: pick her up, going to their room and five minutes

752
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: later there'll be roars of laughter. They wouldn't come out

753
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,439
Speaker 2: for at least an hour. What is going on?

754
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:46,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm confused? What is going on? Very confused?

755
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 2: We left for our next airbnb and Girl two went

756
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: back home, which funnily enough, also had stairs. Guy one

757
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 2: and then asked my boyfriend and me to sit down

758
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 2: for a chat. In a nutshell, Guy one asked if

759
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 2: he should ask Girl Too to be his girlfriend. I

760
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 2: excitedly said yes, but my boyfriend explained why he should

761
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 2: wait a bit longer. During this time, Girl Too was

762
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: calling and messaging NonStop, asking if she could come over.

763
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 2: I lost count after the seventh call and message in

764
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: a few minutes. This went on for another thirty minutes

765
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: before Guy One silenced his phone, to which my boyfriend said,

766
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 2: and this is why I LOVOP. She respects my space.

767
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: He only calls me once and messages to me once,

768
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: and if I don't respond, she won't call me again

769
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: until I call her back, unless it's the emergency, I added,

770
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 2: and Guy one understood and thanked us for talking. Girl

771
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 2: Too eventually came over and guess what, she was fine

772
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 2: with the stairs the entire two days she was with us.

773
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: Stairs are okay? After what awe is happening with the stairs?

774
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: Very mysterious stairs.

775
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 2: Now moving on to September twenty twenty four, Girl One's birthday,

776
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 2: My group and I were the first few to arrive.

777
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: At first, I was enjoying myself talking and socializing. However,

778
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 2: when things got crowded, I started to be antisocial. I

779
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 2: stayed with my group and sometimes went on my phone

780
00:35:58,719 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: as some of them did too.

781
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:00,399
Speaker 1: The party.

782
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: A few of my friends would disappear, so I would

783
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 2: go looking for them to make sure they were okay.

784
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 2: At some point, Guy one went missing for some time,

785
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: which worried Girl too is now girlfriend I feel like

786
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 2: maybe he's going to Girl one. We found him in

787
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 2: the bathroom taking a crap.

788
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: Okay.

789
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: There were also games, but I mostly stayed back. There

790
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 2: was gohu t to my boyfriend, and I just help

791
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 2: one of the friends while making our own guesses. We

792
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 2: were kind of in the game, but also not really.

793
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 2: At the end, we had to pack up. Part of

794
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 2: my autism is that if you tell me to leave

795
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 2: in one minute, I think we were leaving in one minute.

796
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 2: I asked Girl one when we were leaving, and she

797
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 2: said after we pack up, so about thirty minutes. I

798
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: helped for thirty minutes, asked again and she responded, we'll

799
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 2: leave in twenty. That turned into an hour and a half.

800
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 2: We took different cars to the airbnb, which can you guess,

801
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 2: had stared stairs, stairs, stairs, our back stairs. At this time,

802
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 2: Girl one also had stitches on her leg. The place

803
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 2: we were saying was an apartment on the top floor,

804
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 2: meaning several flights of stairs. Girl two was fine going

805
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: up and down until at night we got back and

806
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 2: she almost tripped. I don't blame her for how she acted,

807
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: but what was interesting was that when Guy one grabbed

808
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 2: the keys and unlocked the door to the stairs, she

809
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: was back to her cheerful self. This is also another

810
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,280
Speaker 2: guy from the group arrived. He stayed in the place

811
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 2: with us, but was just leaving the next day. As

812
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: he was getting ready to leave in the next few hours,

813
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: he let us know and we acknowledged it. A couple

814
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 2: hours later we remind us again. Girl Too and Guy

815
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,720
Speaker 2: Too went to the bathroom. Since Girl who had stitches,

816
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 2: she couldn't get her leg wet, so she said it

817
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 2: would take around thirty minutes. Thirty minutes past it still

818
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: don't come out. An hour before our friend had to

819
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 2: leave and still nothing. Then after he left, they finally

820
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 2: came out, and later I found out from a friend

821
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: that at the party Girl Too and Guy To I

822
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 2: told him very harshly that he couldn't come back with

823
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 2: us and had to figure out his own way to

824
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 2: his place because there was no room the Airbnb. Ooh,

825
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 2: good thing is, yeah, couldn't go up the stairs. The

826
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: thing is Airbnb could fit ten people and there were

827
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 2: only seven of us eight, including our friend. During our stay,

828
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 2: Girl one slip on the couch. Well, Guy one and

829
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: Girl Too slept in the master bedroom. I thought that

830
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 2: was kind of rude, since we had all agreed that

831
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: Girl one and Girl Too should have the master room

832
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 2: together because it was Girl One's birthday and she had

833
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: also paid for the place. Felt bad and regretted not

834
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 2: giving up my room with my boyfriend for her important Anyway,

835
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 2: before we left Guy one and Girl Too, I'm forgetting

836
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: who Guy one and girl.

837
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 3: Dude, And there's so many important details that I'm waiting

838
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 3: for the graind reveal.

839
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: Where's the stairs? Clara is so important? Also, maybe another

840
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: note for LATA.

841
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 2: Is to give every person names if they don't have names. Anyway,

842
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 2: before we left, Guy One and Girl Too gave me

843
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 2: a stitch plush also important. It's important, which made me

844
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 2: happy because it's stitch. Is that why it's important? What

845
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 2: is this all going to become important?

846
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 1: Dude? Just you wait, bro, you don't even no.

847
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 2: Also, I forgot to mention that for most of the

848
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: time the airbnb, Gry One and Girl Who spent a

849
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: lot of time alone together being clinging all they both

850
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 2: of them the same city, whereas the rest of us

851
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: live in different states, and one person was even it

852
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 2: from New Zealand. We left the airbnb, and my boyfriend

853
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 2: and I had to stay into the night because flight

854
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 2: tickets were too expensive. I offered for the two guys

855
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 2: who were flying that day to come with us, stay

856
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 2: for a few hours, have dinner, and then go. So far,

857
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: I feel like nothing has happened in this story.

858
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 1: Dude.

859
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: We've walked upstairs, we've eaten dinner, we've played games.

860
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: Brola, that's true. That's true.

861
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 3: We are building up to the most monumental ending you've

862
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 3: ever seen in your life.

863
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 2: Just you, oh man, just I can't wait, get ready,

864
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 2: I can't wait this, I says OPI is autistic.

865
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 1: Give her a break. All details are important to her.

866
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 3: Also, Wingle says, why the heck did two people have surgeries?

867
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: No? No, I don't know.

868
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 2: So true, But if all these important details don't come

869
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 2: in in the second half of the story, I'm going

870
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 2: to be a little obsessed.

871
00:39:58,239 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: So let's get back into it.

872
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: I offered for the two guys who were flying that

873
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 2: day to come with us, stay for a few hours,

874
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 2: have dinner and then go. They agreed, and Guy one

875
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,720
Speaker 2: was going to join after checking on his mom. However,

876
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 2: Girl Too begged him to stay and come with her

877
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 2: to the appointment to remove stitches. Did I forget to

878
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 2: mention that she works at a hospital. Guy One, being

879
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 2: a sweet guy he is, agreed and went with her,

880
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 2: leaving the four of us a little upsets. We got

881
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 2: to the air and B B and B one of

882
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 2: the guys, expressed how he felt about the whole trip.

883
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 2: He didn't like how Guy one and Girl To acted,

884
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 2: even said he liked my boyfriend and me moore as

885
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 2: a couple because they weren't overly clingy. Again, Guy one

886
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 2: and Girl two are the ones in the relationship with

887
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: each other. We included everyone and we acted like normal people.

888
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: I mentioned that we noticed it too, but I still

889
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 2: felt happy for them and figured it was just the

890
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: honeymoon phase. Our friend was still hurt by it and

891
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,439
Speaker 2: said Guy one felt like a stranger to him now.

892
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 2: They had been good friends since the beginning of our friendship.

893
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: Three years.

894
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: After that, we all went our separate ways back to

895
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 2: our lie.

896
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: Well.

897
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 2: I think this is where it comes to a head.

898
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 2: A few weeks later, I talked to mine now ex

899
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 2: best friend about my concerns regarding Guy one and girl

900
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 2: whose relationship. I told him I thought girl too was

901
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 2: a bit controlling and gave him examples like the one

902
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: of my posts. He agreed and shared the point of view,

903
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 2: and we both concluded Hey as the honeymoon phase and

904
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 2: we moved on.

905
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:17,399
Speaker 1: Well, now to wear the problem came into my life.

906
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: Let's go my boyfriend.

907
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 2: We're on a road trip to pick up a car.

908
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 2: When he asked, how are things with you and the others?

909
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 2: I replied, we're fine, same as usual, and he stayed

910
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: quiet before saying, so you don't know know what? I

911
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 2: asked about what you did and what they said. I

912
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: glanced at him no. He then explained how the others,

913
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 2: no names included just a lot of they them felt

914
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: about me and how I had been acting meet. I

915
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 2: was a little surprised by this and asked if he knew.

916
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 2: He said yes, but told me they wanted to talk

917
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 2: to me about it at some point. For the next

918
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: two hours, all I did was think about what I

919
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 2: had done wrong that the full picture wouldn't come to

920
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: light until later. A couple of days later, Girl two

921
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: again the girl who's the girl in a relationship with

922
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: the guy one got upset with me over the game

923
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 2: we played. I got upset and went quiet, and she

924
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 2: continued to get more upset with me. I left the

925
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 2: call and ended up leaving the group on our game.

926
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 2: Then asked why, and I said no reason, because I

927
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 2: didn't know how to explain after what my boyfriend had

928
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 2: told me. Guy one reached out gotten the guy in

929
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,439
Speaker 2: the same relationship with the girl too, asked the same thing,

930
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 2: and I replied the same way. He asked, does it

931
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: become of girl too? I said no, stop lying, he said.

932
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: I then explained how I felt, and he said, well,

933
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 2: do you know how they feel?

934
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 1: No? I replied, then.

935
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: Explain how the others again no names, had noticed how

936
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: I've been acting since he and Girl two got together.

937
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: He ended it by describing me as attention seeker and

938
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 2: saying I should get help. In this message, he did

939
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 2: not explain what I had done wrong. I drove to

940
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 2: my boyfriend crying, explained everything and showed him the messages.

941
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,919
Speaker 2: My boyfriend then asked, fight any idea what I did.

942
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,240
Speaker 2: I replied, I have zero idea what I did wrong,

943
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: and no one is telling me After calming down, he

944
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 2: said I should send a message to people who I

945
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 2: thought I might have upset to talk things out, and

946
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 2: I did. Girl too replied, asking I want to know

947
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: what you think you did wrong and admit what you

948
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 2: did wrong. I replied, I have no idea what I

949
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 2: did wrong, and I don't want to apologize for something

950
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 2: I don't know what I did, because it wouldn't be true.

951
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,760
Speaker 2: She responded, it's right there, read.

952
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: Between the lines. I can't.

953
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: I really don't see what I did wrong. Please tell me,

954
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 2: and can I explain myself? She kept saying the same thing,

955
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 2: read between the lines, it's not that hard, think hard,

956
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: what do you think you did wrong? Getting angry, I left.

957
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 2: Guy one came up for the holiday and said we

958
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: would talk about it properly, and we did. We talked

959
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 2: about what I did briefly and how he saw me

960
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 2: as nothing but his best friend's girlfriend, which hurt a

961
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 2: lot because he had once described me as a little sister.

962
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: I had always been there for him emotionally. And he

963
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 2: then asked if I knew him. I replied with everything

964
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: I knew, and he was surprised I knew so much

965
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 2: about him. I got upset. And wanted to walk away

966
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 2: after the holiday's. Girl One replied and in a nutshell, said,

967
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 2: I don't want to be your friend anymore. I blocked

968
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 2: her because I didn't know how to respond, and my

969
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 2: old best friend then explained that he didn't like how

970
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: I spoke about his friends, so I blocked him too.

971
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,919
Speaker 2: So all of this, all the friends are getting blocked away. Dude,

972
00:43:58,920 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 2: this is crazy.

973
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: Girl two kept.

974
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 2: Messaging me and I read them, but knowing she was angry,

975
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 2: I blocked her as well.

976
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: Ooh oh.

977
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 2: For the next few weeks, a friend and I talked

978
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 2: about it. He reached out to Girl One, who explained

979
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,959
Speaker 2: everything to him, how I was unsupportive, controlling, two, face,

980
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: unhealthy for my boyfriend, the whole list of why Opie's

981
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 2: a horrible person and why you shouldn't be friends with her.

982
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: My close friend then reached out to the group and

983
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 2: asked for their side. What they told him was even

984
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 2: more than what Girl one had said. They accused me

985
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 2: of using I've known them for three years and I've

986
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 2: been dating my boyfriend for three years. As a flex,

987
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 2: What I had actually said was there's a difference between

988
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 2: a three year relationship and one just getting started. Each

989
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: is very different from another. Each and every day is

990
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: a learning experience. Not only are you learning what you like,

991
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: but you're learning what she likes. As a girlfriend. And

992
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 2: girl too explained that I was unsupportive because I didn't

993
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 2: congratulate the girls and only got excited for the boys.

994
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 2: I explained at the time, yes, I was more excited

995
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 2: for the boys because this was my best friend's first

996
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: girlfriend and Guy one hadn't dated anyone in five years.

997
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 2: I also didn't even know they were dating until the

998
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 2: boys told me that. My best friend told me not

999
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 2: to tell anyone, including girl one. Oh oh, brother, this

1000
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: just oh gets.

1001
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 1: This is stair stepping up. It's just the love.

1002
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 2: Too many stairs, there's too many stairs.

1003
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: Important details, important details.

1004
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: They said my hyperactiveness was just a cover to get

1005
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 2: on everyone's good side. I should be a great actor

1006
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,760
Speaker 2: in that case. They also accused me of liking the boys,

1007
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 2: even though I had a boyfriend. My proof of liking

1008
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,479
Speaker 2: them I once casually told the boys they looked good

1009
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: in a certain color. Meanwhile, when I saw my boyfriend

1010
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 2: walk out in a long black sleeved shirt rolled up

1011
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: the elbows, showing his biceps and abs, I nearly passed

1012
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: out blushing, fears of dating, and he still gets me

1013
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: simp and just remembering it now, I'm a tomato. Another

1014
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 2: reason they thought I was unsupportive was that they were

1015
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 2: hurt I didn't congratulate them for dating the boys. Girl

1016
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 2: too also claimed she was hurt that I uh old

1017
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 2: twelve did the old one two uh with a stitch plush.

1018
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: The stitch came back important important she and Guy.

1019
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 2: One gifted me, saying it was a beauty to punch

1020
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: the stitch plush. What my best friend at the time

1021
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 2: forgot to mention was that on camera, I immediately picked

1022
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: stitch up, brushed him off, apologized, and placed him back

1023
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: beside me. Basically everything the girl said, I explained my

1024
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 2: side and stood my ground. Then my old best friend

1025
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: said something that upset me deeply.

1026
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: Tell me. He told me that the whole time he

1027
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: never saw me as a best friend, only as an

1028
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: online friend. Woooock.

1029
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: My friend who had been helping me through all this,

1030
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: remembered him calling me best friend multiple times. The way

1031
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: I described them made it feel like we were all close,

1032
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 2: but all of them denied it. We never saw her

1033
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 2: like that. She was just an online friend. That was

1034
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 2: always there acting like she cared started getting more upset.

1035
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 2: I explained how I genuinely thought I had found my

1036
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 2: lifelong friends, the people I would see at my wedding,

1037
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: the ones who would look after my kids, the people

1038
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 2: I would grow hold with playing games in the same

1039
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: way retirement home until we passed away.

1040
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: From rage and but in the end that was all

1041
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 1: one sided.

1042
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 2: I built them on a pedestal too high when they

1043
00:46:56,040 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: looked down and never saw me, these friends OPM sorry that.

1044
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: Then my friends asked, did you know any of this before?

1045
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 2: I replied with my boyfriend first mentioned how they felt

1046
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 2: I had no idea what was happening or how they

1047
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 2: felt about me. That's when I found out they had

1048
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 2: made a group chat as far back as August last

1049
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 2: year because they didn't want to be part of my

1050
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,839
Speaker 2: life anymore and didn't know how to approach me. During

1051
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 2: all this, my friend pointed out the irony. It's funny

1052
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 2: how they accused you of talking crap, but they are

1053
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 2: doing exactly the same, and as far as they can remember,

1054
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 2: you haven't said anything vile about them. By the way,

1055
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 2: if you want stories that are not just like this

1056
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 2: and are maybe more densely packed with action. But hey,

1057
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 2: we love a little gossip story every once in a while.

1058
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast

1059
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 2: app and search. Okay, story time, there's another relevant update

1060
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 2: that'll go blazer straight.

1061
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: I want.

1062
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 2: He also noted how unfair their accusations were. Admitted he

1063
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 2: felt bad about how things had ended. This could have

1064
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 2: been sorted out if we had just talked it out

1065
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 2: communication early and often, instead of hiding things from each other.

1066
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: This is one big misunderstanding. He could see how hurt

1067
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: and betrayed I was, and honestly, that's exactly how I felt,

1068
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 2: completely destroyed and heartbroken. So am I the a hole

1069
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 2: for blocking friends of her problem that could have been

1070
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 2: storted by talking things out? Snow, Ope, you are not

1071
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 2: the a hole. Preserve your own happiness. Give me an

1072
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 2: update right now. I need, I need podcast. But what

1073
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 2: about the stairs?

1074
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 1: Bro bug? The stairs? Stairs is the question? What happened

1075
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 1: with the stairs? Dude?

1076
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 3: I never that's important? I I, well, we never figured

1077
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 3: out what happened with the stairs. My wife wants a

1078
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 3: baby with our other spicy partner.

1079
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: I'm not having it. Well, yeah, you're not having it.

1080
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: She's having it with the other guy.

1081
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,439
Speaker 3: My wife thirty four female, Lourie and I thirty five male,

1082
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 3: have been together for sixteen years and married for thirteen,

1083
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 3: and our relationship has been opened since the day we

1084
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 3: met in college. Now about eight years ago, we met

1085
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,800
Speaker 3: another couple, Kyle thirty four male and Andy thirty three female,

1086
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 3: who were also open to Polly, and we hit it

1087
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 3: off right away. By the way, this comes from uh

1088
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 3: top Polly on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So

1089
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 3: in twenty twelve, Andy got pregnant and after a bit

1090
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:02,240
Speaker 3: of math, we realized that but I was probably the father.

1091
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 3: After discussing our future, we had a commitment ceremony in

1092
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 3: July twenty twelve and have all been a family ever since.

1093
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: Now. At that time Andy.

1094
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 3: Already had one baby with Kyle, and Laurie had two

1095
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 3: by me. On the periphery of all this was Joseph

1096
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 3: thirty four female. Joseph and Kyle have been friends since college,

1097
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 3: and I'll call friend Joseph, so friend Joseph, Kyle and Andy,

1098
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 3: the other couple, have had an intermittent, spicy related relationship

1099
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 3: ever since then. There was never anything serious there, but

1100
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 3: he was a regular third man in their thrones after

1101
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 3: the commitment ceremony, Joseph occasionally joined all of us for

1102
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 3: some bedroom fun, but it was again an intermittent thing

1103
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 3: and nothing serious, so it wasn't a huge surprise. When

1104
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 3: other wife Andy's baby turned out to be Joseph's the

1105
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 3: friend and not mine, it was still a surprise, but

1106
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 3: it wasn't a problem. The baby was welcomed into our

1107
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 3: family and friend Joseph became a or regular guest in

1108
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 3: our home. About a year after the baby was born,

1109
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 3: a few things happened that seriously changed things. As if

1110
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 3: we wanted more confusing details, yeah, we haven't had any

1111
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 3: change so far. So first, both Andy and Laurie, the wives,

1112
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 3: both got pregnant again. As we later learn, Andy's baby

1113
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 3: was mine, so other wife Andy's baby was opease this

1114
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: time around, and Laurie's baby was Kyle's, the other husband.

1115
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: So.

1116
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 3: Shortly after that, a friend, Joseph was involved in a

1117
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: very serious motorcycle accident. He was hospitalized for nearly two months,

1118
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 3: lost his job, lost his apartment, and needed lots of help.

1119
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 3: So we ended up moving him in as a temporary

1120
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 3: thing quote unquote to help him out. That was a

1121
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 3: year and a half ago, he's still here. Kyle is

1122
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 3: happy to have his old friend around all the time,

1123
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 3: and both women like him a lot. The spicy sleep

1124
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 3: is great between all of them, et cetera, et cetera.

1125
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 3: So three days ago, Laurie was hinting that she needed

1126
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 3: to talk about something serious, but didn't know how to

1127
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 3: broach it. After a bit of discussion, it came out

1128
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: she wants to have one more baby, and not just

1129
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 3: anybody's baby.

1130
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: She wants to have Joseph's baby.

1131
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 3: Specifically, she wants to go off the pill and have

1132
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 3: Kyle and Me either abstain from having spicy sleep with

1133
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 3: her or use protection until Joseph gets her pregnant.

1134
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: When asked her why.

1135
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,879
Speaker 3: She shrugged his shoulders, she said that she loved him too,

1136
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,720
Speaker 3: and that it was only there.

1137
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: What do we what do we talk? It's like we

1138
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: have two, he needs one or it's gonna be weird.

1139
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,359
Speaker 1: We got to even it out. It's even it out.

1140
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 3: She explained that Andy had a child by each of

1141
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 3: the three of us, and she wanted to have a

1142
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 3: child by each.

1143
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:40,359
Speaker 1: Of us two.

1144
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 3: After a bit more discussion, it came out that the

1145
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: idea was actually Joseph's he was feeling left out because

1146
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 3: he didn't have a child with her.

1147
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: He got Fomo, got Homo Bomo having a baby with

1148
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 1: Opie's wife Fomo. Everyone's doing. It's all the rage. That's

1149
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: what I don't understand, Like the you know, it's like

1150
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 1: some people when they eat like a meal, it's like

1151
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: they have to like finish like the burger and the

1152
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 1: fries at the same time. Yeah, I feel like this

1153
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 1: is almost the same way, where it's like, well, if

1154
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 1: she's gonna have a baby from each of us, I

1155
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 1: now have to have a baby from each man, you know.

1156
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 1: And it all evens itself out, so putting aside the

1157
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: childish notion that babies should be created solely to placate

1158
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 1: someone's sense of quote unquote fairness. I have a few

1159
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: serious problems with this.

1160
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 3: First, we already have six kids in the house already,

1161
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,959
Speaker 3: which is already a bit much. At times, I thought

1162
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 3: we were all done having kids, and I'm not really

1163
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 3: sure that I went anymore.

1164
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 1: Second, there is no commitment to Joseph.

1165
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 3: Where the rest of us have gone through a commitment

1166
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 3: ceremony to join ourselves together, he hasn't. But the biggest

1167
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 3: issue is also the simplest. I don't really like the

1168
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 3: guy I never have. He's got this vibe and has

1169
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 3: always struck me as a bit untrustworthy. He honestly reminds

1170
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 3: me of a shady used car salesman. He also drinks

1171
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: too much, is a bit of a bigot, and has

1172
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 3: a personality that I find grading. I didn't object to

1173
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,320
Speaker 3: him hanging around now and then because he was Kyle's friend,

1174
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 3: and I didn't have a problem with a spicy Sleep

1175
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 3: because it was just spicy sleep, and I understood the

1176
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 3: history of their relationship. But now I'm wishing that I

1177
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 3: had to be honest. I've long hoped that he'd meet

1178
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 3: someone who wasn't into polyamory, just to get him out

1179
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 3: of our spicy sleep lives and relationship. When he moved

1180
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 3: in after the accidents, I kept my mouth shut because

1181
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 3: they were just trying to be helpful, and the discussions

1182
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 3: about his long term plans always alluded to the idea

1183
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 3: that he would be moving out again someday. When he

1184
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 3: really annoyed me, I'd tell myself that this was just temporary.

1185
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 1: That's actually such a really good mentality to have. This

1186
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 1: two shall pass mentality of just like got to just

1187
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: ride it out. Sometimes sometimes that's what you gotta do.

1188
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is one of those times, but.

1189
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 3: When you have a rogue Joseph trying to enter a

1190
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 3: seventh baby into the equation.

1191
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the most illuminating thing to me there

1192
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 1: was it was like I was just kind of hoping

1193
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 1: that he would like leave right, hoping, hope communicating. Yes,

1194
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,799
Speaker 1: I was just hoping someone would take him from our

1195
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 1: amory situation. It's like you gotta take your thoughts and

1196
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 1: put him out in the open.

1197
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 3: Communicate early and often before seven babies. So now I'm

1198
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 3: facing the possibility that this guy is going to be

1199
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 3: around forever.

1200
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:13,879
Speaker 1: Now.

1201
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 3: Kyle and Andy love the idea and think that Laurie

1202
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 3: having Joseph's baby is romantic. Now Laurie is looking to

1203
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 3: cement some kind of bond with him. I, on the

1204
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 3: other hand, seem to be getting angrier and anger every

1205
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 3: time I see him, almost violently angry. I want to

1206
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 3: chase this guy out of our home and never let

1207
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 3: him in again. I want to give him the old

1208
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 3: one dude, dittly doo square in his smug little face.

1209
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 3: I temporarily quote unquote tolerated someone that I disliked because

1210
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,879
Speaker 3: I wanted to be generous and helpful, and because he's

1211
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 3: the father of one of Andy's children. So now, because

1212
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:46,920
Speaker 3: I didn't want to be a wiener and co sign

1213
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 3: a disabled man to homelessness, He's worked his way into

1214
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,320
Speaker 3: our relationship and seems quite content to stay there forever.

1215
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 3: If this pregnancy happens, I know he'll never move out.

1216
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 3: How do I even begin to approach this? I don't

1217
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,760
Speaker 3: really care if Joseph gets hurt in the but every

1218
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 3: other solution seems to lead to the other people in

1219
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 3: my family being miserable, then being angry with me, or

1220
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 3: me living in silent misery. I can't see any way

1221
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 3: to resolve this that doesn't involve hurting those I love

1222
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 3: or hurting myself. Does anyone have any insights or suggestions.

1223
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,760
Speaker 3: I don't want to lose this wonderful family that we've built,

1224
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 3: but every route I see seems to do harm. What

1225
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 3: would you do when every member of your family wants

1226
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 3: to include the new person in the family and you don't.

1227
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 3: We have relevant comments coming up. This might be the

1228
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 3: most conundrumist conundrum we have faced in four years of okay,

1229
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:33,839
Speaker 3: story time.

1230
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 1: You may think that, but I have a startlingly simple solution.

1231
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: You just say dibbs. You just go dibbs. Sorry, I

1232
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: had dibbs. And you talk to your husband and your

1233
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 1: wife and your wife and you go, guys, I want

1234
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,280
Speaker 1: them out. I have DIBs on y'all. I had DIBs.

1235
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:50,359
Speaker 1: We did the ceremony. I have DIBs. Multi did.

1236
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 3: This is the first multi DIBs I've ever seen in

1237
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 3: my life. They did the dimmittment ceremony.

1238
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:56,720
Speaker 1: They did.

1239
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 3: They didded each other, a didmitment. They did the dimittmentt okay.

1240
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 3: So basically what I'm seeing here is I also want

1241
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 3: to flag how he was, Like I was silent for

1242
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 3: so long and then I got angry, violently angry. It's

1243
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 3: like you are, by withholding and not communicating, you are like,

1244
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 3: you know, kind of festering and kind of growing these

1245
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 3: feelings of anger which could turn into something really bad,

1246
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So it's like, it's just

1247
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 3: all the more to what we said earlier. You have

1248
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 3: to communicate, and you know the best time was like

1249
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 3: I guess before baby number one or whatever, you know,

1250
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 3: ten years ago, whatever it was but the next Beech's

1251
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 3: time is right now, and I think he needs to

1252
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 3: say I'm not comfortable with this.

1253
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 1: Y'all, what do we think? What do we feel? You

1254
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: got to tell your wife?

1255
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 3: You gotta be like, I really don't want to the

1256
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 3: relevant commenters on this story, thank you. I didn't realize

1257
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,879
Speaker 3: until I read in your post that I really do

1258
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 3: hate the guy.

1259
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 1: Now.

1260
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 3: I'm not sure when that happened. A few days ago.

1261
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 3: I just disliked him a lot. Since learning that he

1262
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,760
Speaker 3: once to have a baby with my wife, that dislike

1263
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 3: has been festering in a pool of anger and has

1264
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 3: grown into something quite a bit darker I think about it,

1265
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 3: the angrier I get at myself, at him, at the

1266
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 3: whole situation. You're right that I need to have this

1267
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:08,319
Speaker 3: discussion and get these things out there. Yes, keeping it

1268
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 3: bottled up isn't healthy, and it's making things a lot worse.

1269
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:12,879
Speaker 1: I don't want to hate this guy.

1270
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 3: I don't want to hate anybody, but keeping it bottled

1271
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 3: up is eating me alive. So for my own mental health,

1272
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 3: I need to get this out there. I think this

1273
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 3: was a relevant comment from none other than the OP himself,

1274
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 3: But we have another update. Thank you, everyone for your responses.

1275
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 3: Your comments have been very helpful. Time for me to

1276
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 3: head home for the day, so I won't be responding

1277
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 3: any longer. I'll have to think through some of the

1278
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 3: suggestions and figure out how to proceed. But I will

1279
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 3: absolutely speak up and let everyone know of my feelings.

1280
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 3: It may be too late and the damage may be unavoidable,

1281
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 3: but it has to happen.

1282
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: That leads into the next small update.

1283
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 3: After I got home, I told Laurie that we needed

1284
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 3: to talk and that we needed to seriously discuss some

1285
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 3: things before there was any more talk about babies. I

1286
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 3: told Andy and Kyle, the other wife and husband, that

1287
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 3: we needed to have a meeting in the morning to

1288
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 3: discuss Joseph, but didn't want to go into it tonight

1289
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,480
Speaker 3: because he and the kids were already home. They figured

1290
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 3: out really quickly that I'm not happy with things and

1291
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 3: we'll hash it out tomorrow after Joseph heads off to

1292
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,439
Speaker 3: his morning rehab visit, Golly and the other kids head

1293
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 3: off to school. So OPUS set the table. We're gonna

1294
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 3: have the big discussion tomorrow morning. We have the update

1295
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 3: right in front of us. What are we feeling, Dakota.

1296
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 1: I mean, you did it almost kind of you're there,

1297
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: You're on the way. You said something, and I like,

1298
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: you know, I hope that the rage and anger boiling

1299
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 1: within you does not become summoned tomorrow morning and you

1300
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: can stay cool, baby. Yeah, but yeah, I mean, you're

1301
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,959
Speaker 1: gonna have You're at a crossroads now. You're like, either

1302
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: gonna have life with Joseph or life without Joseph. And

1303
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: you've got to present it to the group in terms

1304
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 1: of why you think it's best for everybody.

1305
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 3: But ladies and gentlemen, there's only one way to discover

1306
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 3: how we unravel this this entanglement. So I began by

1307
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 3: clearing the air about my feelings for Joseph. I reminded

1308
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 3: everyone that he and I have never gotten along and

1309
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 3: that I've always viewed his presence at our home as

1310
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 3: a temporary thing. I told him all that I still

1311
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 3: view it as a temporary thing, and that I can't

1312
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 3: support any moves to make his presence in our home

1313
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 3: more permanent. That's when Kyle and Andy, the other husband

1314
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 3: and other wife.

1315
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 1: Dropped the bombshell.

1316
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 3: Following Laurie's announcement a few days ago, they had already

1317
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 3: been talking and asking Joseph to join our family formally

1318
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 3: through a commitment ceremony, making him a permanent part of

1319
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 3: our household. Unbeknownst to Ope, wait and they left you out.

1320
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 3: Oh dude, you're trying to be replaced right now. They

1321
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 3: were apparently going to bring it up with me today,

1322
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 3: So that's when I reminded them that is part of

1323
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 3: our original commitment. We agreed that any additions to our

1324
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 3: family had to be done unanimously, and I made it

1325
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,920
Speaker 3: very clear that I would never agree to that. My

1326
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 3: statement led to a huge argument, which included them calling

1327
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,959
Speaker 3: me selfish and stating that the three of them could

1328
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 3: hold a commitment ceremony without me. I didn't want to

1329
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 3: go there, but I shut that down by saying, understand

1330
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 3: that if you do that, you're not talking about adding

1331
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 3: someone new to the family. You're talking about replacing me

1332
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 3: with him. I can't stay in a family that would

1333
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 3: hurt and disrespect me that way.

1334
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 1: Now.

1335
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 3: That led to even more arguing, which didn't have any

1336
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 3: real conclusion. That's when I turned to Laurie, the og wife.

1337
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 3: I told her that I loved her, and then it

1338
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 3: broke my heart that she wanted to have a child

1339
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 3: with someone I couldn't stand. I also told her that

1340
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 3: I found it defensive that he'd ask her to have

1341
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 3: a child to placate his own ego, but that I

1342
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 3: thought the request was fairly consistent with his lack of character.

1343
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 3: I reminded her that a child is not an object

1344
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 3: to be traded for affection or love, and that they

1345
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 3: should only be created as an expression of that love.

1346
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 3: Thanks call me brother ge I guess they suggested that

1347
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 3: I told her without any hesitation that having a child

1348
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 3: with Joseph would irrevocably change our relationship and drive a

1349
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 3: wedge between us. She would be choosing his happiness over mind,

1350
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 3: and that's how the relationship would end.

1351
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 1: We're here, we have reached the thick of it, and

1352
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 1: you're doing a great job in this moment. Yeah. I

1353
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: think he is.

1354
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 3: Clearly stating what his wants and needs are and like

1355
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 3: what he will do if she does choose to go forth.

1356
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they can call you selfish, but it sounds

1357
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: like you're just following the rules y'all set up thirteen

1358
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 1: years ago now.

1359
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 3: She told me that she loved us both and she

1360
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 3: wouldn't choose between us. She flat out said that she

1361
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 3: wanted to have one more baby, that she'd already talked

1362
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 3: to Joseph about it, and that she wasn't going to

1363
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 3: go back on her word. She then offered to get

1364
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 3: rid of the exclusive part, saying that she was willing

1365
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 3: to go off the pill and have spicy sleep with

1366
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 3: the both of us to let fate decide the baby's paternity.

1367
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: That's like the equivalent of like letting like you know,

1368
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 1: like the trial by combat, where it's just like we

1369
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 1: will let the gods decide your faith, choose your champion.

1370
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: The swimmers are going to be in there, like, oh,

1371
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 1: get girl, They're gonna have little swords and bows and arrows.

1372
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this just tells you all you need

1373
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: to know. Run away. That is an unhinged thing to think.

1374
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 3: I h for real. I told her this was unacceptable.

1375
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 3: Reminded her that I'm her husband and family and he's not.

1376
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 3: I said that in not making a decision, she was

1377
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 3: actually making a choice. I told her that I'd be

1378
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 3: more than willing to have another child with her, but

1379
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 3: that having a child with Joseph would be the end

1380
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 3: of us, and then I went to work. The discussion

1381
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:34,760
Speaker 3: didn't really change anything or lead to any firm decisions,

1382
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:37,479
Speaker 3: but the information is now out there and everyone else

1383
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 3: knows where I stand. We'll see where everything goes from here,

1384
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 3: and we have that second update, we know we have

1385
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 3: the answer to where things will go. I mean, what's

1386
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 3: what is there to say?

1387
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 1: You know, like, when you have a situation like this,

1388
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 1: things are gonna get complicated at some point. I guess

1389
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 1: they didn't get too complicated until six children were born

1390
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,560
Speaker 1: and a man moved into their living room. Yeah, that

1391
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,960
Speaker 1: Andy then had a baby with And now Laurie's like,

1392
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,640
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like I'm missing out on that

1393
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: Joseph baby train. I want to get in on the action.

1394
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: She's got three babies with three different daddies. I want

1395
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 1: three babies with three different daddies. And I'm just like,

1396
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: I want to go into the woods and living at

1397
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 1: tent if I'm op, I'm like, I'm leaving town. I'm

1398
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 1: not coming back. Yeah, and when I do come back,

1399
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 1: I'll be taking custody of my children. So in the

1400
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 1: day since my last update, a lot has happened.

1401
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 3: Some things genuinely surprised me, and it looks like my

1402
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 3: family will be changing a bit. However, things appear to

1403
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 3: have settled down, I should mention this will be my

1404
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 3: last updates that may or may not be true. I

1405
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 3: mentioned to Laurie that I'd been discussing our situation on

1406
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 3: the Reddit poly group and she wanted to read it.

1407
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 3: After bawling her eyes out as she read through everything,

1408
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 3: she apologized to me for everything. We spent the night together,

1409
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 3: no spice sleep, just holding each other all night. This

1410
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 3: morning she asked me not to discuss this anymore until

1411
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 3: we get everything worked out, but she said that I

1412
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 3: could post one final update.

1413
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 1: So where to begin? First, Joseph is moving out? Okay,

1414
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 1: all right, we got there. He here in, it might

1415
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: be gone. We did it.

1416
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 3: Yep, it's actually happened. And the shocking thing it was

1417
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 3: his idea. He finally demonstrated some of that nice guy

1418
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 3: personality to me that I've never been able to connect with.

1419
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,000
Speaker 3: I knew that Joseph would be home when I returned

1420
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 3: from work yesterday, and I was honestly expecting the worst.

1421
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 3: I was sure that someone would have clued him into

1422
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 3: our conversation and expected him to react with his usual

1423
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 3: a whole persona.

1424
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: That didn't happen.

1425
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 3: Instead, a few minutes after I came home, Joseph walked

1426
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 3: into my room asked me to join him in the

1427
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:47,520
Speaker 3: backyard for a conversation. I was expecting a fisticuffs but

1428
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 3: got an apology instead.

1429
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 1: Okay, that's nice surprise. We're making a prove in here.

1430
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 1: That's a good, nice surprise.

1431
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 3: He admitted that we've never gotten along and that he's

1432
01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:00,040
Speaker 3: never liked me either. However, he said that he he

1433
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 3: didn't feel right about coming in between me and Laurie.

1434
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 3: He went on a talk about how happy his son

1435
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 3: is in our family and how he didn't want to

1436
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,240
Speaker 3: destroy the family. At the same time, he admitted how

1437
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 3: much he loved living with his son and how he

1438
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 3: really didn't want to go back to only seeing him

1439
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 3: once a week. I had never thought about that. In

1440
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 3: the end, he proposed a solution that I accepted. There's

1441
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:20,520
Speaker 3: a nice apartment complex about two blocks from our house,

1442
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 3: and he wants to get an apartment there when he

1443
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,880
Speaker 3: lands a job. He's pretty good at what he does

1444
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 3: and already has some job leads, so he anticipates that's

1445
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 3: going to happen soon. He can visit our house whenever

1446
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 3: he wants during the week I'm at work anyways, and

1447
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 3: he can spend up to two nights a week at

1448
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 3: my house to be closer to his kid. If he

1449
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 3: does it right, that means he could still potentially see

1450
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 3: his son seven days a week, while I only have

1451
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 3: to deal with him or two. It's a great solution

1452
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 3: that gives us both what we want. He's already told

1453
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 3: Laurie that he doesn't want to have a baby with her,

1454
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 3: so now that is also off the table. He admitted

1455
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 3: that he wanted to have a baby with Laurie but

1456
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,480
Speaker 3: didn't want to put her in the middle of a

1457
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 3: conflict over it, and then we had an adult soda together.

1458
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 3: I didn't even complain when he handed me one of

1459
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 3: his piss water Coors Lats. Totally not kidding. This guy

1460
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 3: really does fit certain stereotypes. My low opinion of the

1461
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 3: guy went up a notch. As for Laurie, she was

1462
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 3: a tearful mess for most of the day, and Joseph

1463
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 3: taking the baby off the table was fairly devastating to her.

1464
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 3: After I got home and we talked a bit, she

1465
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 3: unloaded her soul and let me know just how much

1466
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 3: she wants another baby and how much it hurt.

1467
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 1: And neither Kyle nor I want one. With her.

1468
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 3: She even felt hurt that neither of us even clued

1469
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,400
Speaker 3: her in on the level of pain over it. After

1470
01:06:35,520 --> 01:06:38,520
Speaker 3: several hours of talking to her, we came to an

1471
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:41,720
Speaker 3: agreement we are going to have one more baby, but

1472
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:44,600
Speaker 3: will wait another year. And interestingly, she wants it to

1473
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:49,200
Speaker 3: be mine, not Kyle's, and not Joseph's. Kyle apparently doesn't

1474
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,680
Speaker 3: have a problem with this at all. So what about

1475
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 3: her relationship with Joseph, what are we doing?

1476
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 1: Asking, I would not be letting go of that. I'd

1477
01:06:56,840 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 1: be like, oh, so, now now somebody wants mine Oh

1478
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 1: oh no, now that Joseph said no, now someone wants

1479
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:06,760
Speaker 1: my baby again.

1480
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 3: Well, here's where polyamory and open relationships could potentially get complicated.

1481
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 3: The commitment ceremony, basically the wedding between all of them

1482
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:17,160
Speaker 3: is off the table, but she still wants to date

1483
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 3: him and have some sort of relationship with him. No babies,

1484
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,360
Speaker 3: no pregnancy, just some love and spicy sleep.

1485
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:23,840
Speaker 1: Every now and again.

1486
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 3: She won't ever sleep with him when he's staying over

1487
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 3: at her house, but she'll still be going out on

1488
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 3: dates with him, visiting him at his place from time

1489
01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: to time, and staying overnight on the occasion, maybe once

1490
01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 3: a month.

1491
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 1: Well, I have to admit that I'm still not totally

1492
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 1: thrilled with that.

1493
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 3: It's really just going back to the relationship they had

1494
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 3: before he even moved in with us, which I will

1495
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 3: tolerate for her happiness. Andy, the other wife, on the

1496
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:51,440
Speaker 3: other hand, is now a problem. She is still furious

1497
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,640
Speaker 3: with me over all of this and isn't showing any

1498
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 3: signs of backing down.

1499
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 1: In a way, It's understandable.

1500
01:07:56,360 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 3: She's had a a spicy, related and emotional relationship with

1501
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 3: Joseph since she was twenty one years old and is

1502
01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:05,880
Speaker 3: the mother of his child. She was really looking forward

1503
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,040
Speaker 3: to him becoming a part of our family and deeply

1504
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 3: hurt by my rejection of it.

1505
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:10,600
Speaker 1: Ky All, the other.

1506
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:13,400
Speaker 3: Husband, told me last night that she had even talked

1507
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,360
Speaker 3: about leaving the family over it and moving in with Joseph,

1508
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,080
Speaker 3: but that that was just quote unquote angry talk.

1509
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 1: I mean, is it though? Yeah? Is it just just

1510
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:27,000
Speaker 1: bearing like her deepest realist truths? And then she's going, well,

1511
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 1: I didn't mean that, that is just angry talk. It's like, no,

1512
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 1: I think I think you're obsessed with this guy and

1513
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 1: you wanted him in the polycule, and now he's not

1514
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,799
Speaker 1: in it, and you're going to just continue to grow

1515
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:41,040
Speaker 1: more bitter and upset about it. That sounds like it.

1516
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:43,360
Speaker 3: Well right now, all I get from her are cold

1517
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 3: stairs and slam doors. I really don't know how this

1518
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:48,040
Speaker 3: is going to resolve itself, but for the sake of

1519
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:50,240
Speaker 3: our daughter, I'll never stop trying.

1520
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 1: I forgot, I forgot they had a kid together, So now.

1521
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 3: I put her in the middle of a fight between

1522
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,719
Speaker 3: the fathers of two of her children, two men she loves,

1523
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,679
Speaker 3: and she's furious at me for even forcing the choice.

1524
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,640
Speaker 3: It may take some time for both of us to

1525
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 3: work through it.

1526
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:09,000
Speaker 1: Again, Do they did this? They went behind your back, yes,

1527
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 1: and tried to be like, get this guy into the

1528
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:15,000
Speaker 1: group and basically strong arm you into saying yes. Now,

1529
01:09:15,120 --> 01:09:16,479
Speaker 1: Kyle's a bit of a different story.

1530
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,760
Speaker 3: He admitted that he knew Joseph and I didn't get

1531
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 3: along and apologize to me for not talking to me

1532
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:24,479
Speaker 3: sooner and making sure that I was okay with everything okay.

1533
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 3: He apparently blames himself for the arguing, thinking that it

1534
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:30,759
Speaker 3: was his job to run interference since Joseph was originally

1535
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 3: his friend and I am a life partner in his family.

1536
01:09:34,479 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 3: I told him not to worry about it because it

1537
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,439
Speaker 3: was my fault that I didn't bring it up myself.

1538
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:40,799
Speaker 3: We have this big talk and we had an adult

1539
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:44,880
Speaker 3: soda Sierra Nevada West Coast Porter. This time, Kyle has

1540
01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:47,719
Speaker 3: much better taste. So with all that, I'm gonna wrap

1541
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:49,960
Speaker 3: this up like you should have before. I'd like to

1542
01:09:49,960 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 3: thank all of you for your insights, are commentary, and

1543
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,439
Speaker 3: for putting up with my venting. Posting here gave me

1544
01:09:54,479 --> 01:09:56,839
Speaker 3: a place to mentally work through some of these issues

1545
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:59,080
Speaker 3: before I broached him with my family and probably save

1546
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,559
Speaker 3: me it's from making some very ugly comments and choices.

1547
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:04,439
Speaker 3: By the way, if you want to save yourself from

1548
01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:07,320
Speaker 3: making ugly choices and comments and having, you know, the

1549
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:09,519
Speaker 3: greatest show on earth give you good advice Googly To

1550
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:13,120
Speaker 3: navigate the relationships that matter most, go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1551
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:16,519
Speaker 3: search Okay Storytime and listen to two thousand episodes. That's right,

1552
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:19,360
Speaker 3: our new friends, we have two thousand episodes on podcasts,

1553
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:20,400
Speaker 3: so and counting.

1554
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:24,160
Speaker 1: It does not stop before. We actually have a bit of.

1555
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:26,360
Speaker 3: A beefy end for our for our usual end of

1556
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:29,920
Speaker 3: stories here, but Dakota as we're kind of on the motorcycle,

1557
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:32,800
Speaker 3: you know, rainbow flaps flapping in the wind, riding off

1558
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 3: into sunset.

1559
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,559
Speaker 1: What are we what are we feeling right now that

1560
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 1: this is a hot mess. You're in too deep and

1561
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:42,759
Speaker 1: you know, finding a way for this to maybe dissolve

1562
01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:46,240
Speaker 1: into two families instead of what's going on right now.

1563
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 1: Cause it's like you've got Andy who's like sparing her

1564
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,240
Speaker 1: soul about how she really feels about Joseph and then

1565
01:10:52,320 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 1: being like, psych just kidding, I didn't really mean that.

1566
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,280
Speaker 1: That was just an angry talking No, it wasn't you

1567
01:10:56,400 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: meant that. So that's gonna be another you know, corrosive

1568
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 1: element of the group collective here. And that wasn't her

1569
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,920
Speaker 1: saying It was Kyle saying that for her. God, I

1570
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 1: mean like they did it really well for almost for

1571
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:14,360
Speaker 1: a decade and a half. They did it. They did

1572
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 1: it well. Well.

1573
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:16,920
Speaker 3: We do have a little bit left in the story.

1574
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,559
Speaker 3: It is a good little chunk. Let's see what happened.

1575
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:22,120
Speaker 1: In a way, I genuinely appreciated all.

1576
01:11:22,080 --> 01:11:24,240
Speaker 3: Of your responses, and I know that my wife Lori

1577
01:11:24,479 --> 01:11:26,520
Speaker 3: found many of your comments eye opening.

1578
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,280
Speaker 1: And insightful as well.

1579
01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:31,120
Speaker 3: She loves the thought that we're a tribe because someone

1580
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:33,439
Speaker 3: requested it. We may come back and do and ask

1581
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:36,719
Speaker 3: me anything at some point about the emotional and family

1582
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 3: dynamics of living in.

1583
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:40,280
Speaker 1: A large poly slash tribal household, but.

1584
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:43,799
Speaker 3: We need to finish working through the current situation first.

1585
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:48,320
Speaker 3: Much love to all and Opie on his feelings for

1586
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:52,280
Speaker 3: Joseph after the fact. Now, Opie says, this has raised

1587
01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 3: my level of respect for him a bit, and I'm

1588
01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:56,960
Speaker 3: trying to move past the resentment this situation created.

1589
01:11:56,960 --> 01:11:57,760
Speaker 1: When Joseph and I.

1590
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:00,400
Speaker 3: Were talking about not liking each other, we both agreed

1591
01:12:00,439 --> 01:12:02,840
Speaker 3: that if nothing else, we both needed to be respectful

1592
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:04,920
Speaker 3: of each other for the sake of the kids and

1593
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 3: the other members of the family. I brought that up.

1594
01:12:07,479 --> 01:12:10,040
Speaker 3: He fully agreed. Neither of us seems to want any

1595
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,080
Speaker 3: kind of open conflict or competition in the household. Though,

1596
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,000
Speaker 3: when I asked him to talk to Andy, the other

1597
01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:17,640
Speaker 3: wife last night to get her to sit down and

1598
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:20,559
Speaker 3: have a conversation with me two days now without a

1599
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:23,760
Speaker 3: word from hers getting the silence treatment, his blunt response was,

1600
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,720
Speaker 3: you broke it, you fix it.

1601
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,160
Speaker 1: I don't think he broke it again. They broke it

1602
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:33,120
Speaker 1: by doing all of that behind Opie's back. Yeah, And

1603
01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:35,320
Speaker 1: then Opie was like, hey, remember the rules how it

1604
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 1: has to be an animous, I ain't voting. Yes, Yeah,

1605
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 1: And they all went that's not fair and you're selfish

1606
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:45,240
Speaker 1: and I lost much, But that's not how the rules

1607
01:12:45,280 --> 01:12:46,000
Speaker 1: were Opie.

1608
01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:48,560
Speaker 3: The author goes back to say, we've still got a

1609
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:49,559
Speaker 3: long ways to go.

1610
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:53,280
Speaker 1: There you go, and on why Joseph did what he did.

1611
01:12:53,360 --> 01:12:57,040
Speaker 3: In the end, I wouldn't say that I like him more,

1612
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,160
Speaker 3: but I certainly have a bit more respect for him.

1613
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 3: He made it pretty clear that he was doing this

1614
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:03,320
Speaker 3: for his son, and that he was putting his son's

1615
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:05,920
Speaker 3: needs before his own. His kid has a happy, stable

1616
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:07,840
Speaker 3: life and he wants to keep it that way. When

1617
01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:10,200
Speaker 3: he realized that he couldn't have what he wanted without

1618
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 3: also screwing up his kid's life, Joseph put his child first.

1619
01:13:14,240 --> 01:13:16,360
Speaker 3: I have an enormous amount of respect for that decision.

1620
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:17,960
Speaker 3: So we went from a bit of respect to do

1621
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:18,679
Speaker 3: enormous appeenta.

1622
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:21,639
Speaker 1: Yeah ye. This guy, this guy likes Joseph. This guy's

1623
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:23,400
Speaker 1: he likes it. He's falling for him, he likes it.

1624
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:26,680
Speaker 3: His Joseph's entire solution really revolves around his son. It

1625
01:13:26,760 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 3: keeps him involved with his son's life on a daily basis,

1626
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 3: It puts him just around the corner so his son

1627
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:34,200
Speaker 3: could visit him constantly, and it reduces strife in his

1628
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 3: son's household, thus giving the kid stability. I understand where

1629
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 3: it's coming from, too. I mentioned the original discussion that

1630
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:44,719
Speaker 3: he'd once liquidated his investments and retirement accounts to buy

1631
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:47,960
Speaker 3: his sister and her kid's a house after her husband

1632
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:52,439
Speaker 3: walked down on them. Joseph is a deeply complicated man,

1633
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:53,120
Speaker 3: I am.

1634
01:13:53,479 --> 01:13:55,400
Speaker 1: Is he a bigot? Is he is?

1635
01:13:55,439 --> 01:13:55,519
Speaker 4: He?

1636
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:55,720
Speaker 1: Is?

1637
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:58,559
Speaker 3: He also you know, selling everything he owns to give

1638
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:02,040
Speaker 3: his his You know, cis who loses her life's a house.

1639
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:07,120
Speaker 1: Wow, we've complicated character. We've read precisely zero examples of

1640
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:10,759
Speaker 1: Joseph being a bigot, and we've read exactly one example

1641
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:13,639
Speaker 1: of him selling his entire life to help his sister.

1642
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,680
Speaker 3: Joseph came from a fairly broken, unstable home, and what's

1643
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 3: better for his children. When his sisters was facing the

1644
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,640
Speaker 3: same situation, he was saving her kids more than he

1645
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:23,960
Speaker 3: was saving his sister. When his own kid was facing

1646
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:26,920
Speaker 3: a self destructed family, he pulled himself out of it

1647
01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:29,160
Speaker 3: to put the kids while being first. I don't know

1648
01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:31,120
Speaker 3: that Joseph and I will ever be friends, but my

1649
01:14:31,240 --> 01:14:33,519
Speaker 3: anger is largely faded, and I wouldn't say that I

1650
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,200
Speaker 3: hate him. I have a lot more respect for him

1651
01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:36,840
Speaker 3: than I did before any of this happened, but I

1652
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:39,120
Speaker 3: think we're too different to actually like each other. As

1653
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:41,720
Speaker 3: I said in the original post, he openly admitted that

1654
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:44,600
Speaker 3: the feeling is mutual. My only regret is letting my

1655
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:47,720
Speaker 3: original wife Laurie read the other thread and she saw

1656
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,040
Speaker 3: the word hate there. I've never used that word in

1657
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:52,920
Speaker 3: an actual conversation over the past week, but Laurie did

1658
01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 3: mention it to my other wife Andy. Looking back, I

1659
01:14:55,439 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 3: think the hatred a reaction to be stuck in the

1660
01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:00,400
Speaker 3: middle of a situation at the time, and I absolutely

1661
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:03,679
Speaker 3: don't feel any hatred towards him now. Still, it's hard

1662
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 3: unsay a word, and our word is that this story

1663
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:08,360
Speaker 3: is over.

1664
01:15:08,479 --> 01:15:10,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you know, it's so hard. It's impossible to

1665
01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:14,120
Speaker 1: unsay a word. It's literally impossible. Once you said it,

1666
01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:15,960
Speaker 1: it's said, it is said.

1667
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:19,000
Speaker 3: And you know what, just some just some closing thoughts here,

1668
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,120
Speaker 3: A lot was untangled.

1669
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:22,760
Speaker 1: Ope, he did grow and communicate.

1670
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,880
Speaker 3: Joseph did a lot of communicating and navigating and trying to, like,

1671
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 3: you know, prioritize the sun. We've still got some stuff

1672
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,560
Speaker 3: to entangle, but I think they might be able to

1673
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:32,080
Speaker 3: figure this out.

1674
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:35,920
Speaker 1: Joseph did the right moves. He did. He literally was like, look,

1675
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:40,120
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna remove myself from this whole situation because

1676
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:44,160
Speaker 1: I just want my son to not have a crazier

1677
01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:48,000
Speaker 1: life than he already has. Yeah, so yeah, I'll get

1678
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,920
Speaker 1: out of it. I'll get out of here instead of

1679
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:51,120
Speaker 1: having a baby with your wife.

1680
01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:54,320
Speaker 3: And that's what he did. Hey, it's John here, og

1681
01:15:54,439 --> 01:15:55,800
Speaker 3: host of the show. We're gonna get back to these

1682
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:57,719
Speaker 3: juicy stories. But here's a quick three minutes of ads

1683
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:58,880
Speaker 3: from our sponsors.

1684
01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:02,320
Speaker 1: I hell to my mother in law after her affair.

1685
01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 1: Did I betray my husband's family? You just might have

1686
01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:10,400
Speaker 1: a sources say perhaps. I'm twenty eight male and I've

1687
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:13,559
Speaker 1: been with my husband, twenty nine male, for seven years,

1688
01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:17,680
Speaker 1: married for almost one This has been a genuinely good relationship.

1689
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:20,439
Speaker 1: I love him deeply and we've built something I'm proud of.

1690
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:23,040
Speaker 1: He fits in great with my family, and I've always

1691
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:25,479
Speaker 1: felt at home with his I'm close with his younger

1692
01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 1: brother and his girlfriend, but the person I've always felt

1693
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:31,840
Speaker 1: the strongest connection with is his mom. Eh but this

1694
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:35,920
Speaker 1: comes from a user reasonable while nine sixty six and

1695
01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:39,519
Speaker 1: user throwaway thirteen one four one, And if you want

1696
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:42,800
Speaker 1: to submit your stories, go to the r slash ok

1697
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:46,559
Speaker 1: story time sub reddit and submit them there. A few

1698
01:16:46,640 --> 01:16:49,720
Speaker 1: years back, I went through a rough depressive episode and

1699
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:53,599
Speaker 1: his mother was the only one who truly showed up

1700
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,960
Speaker 1: for me. She didn't treat me like her son's partner.

1701
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:59,760
Speaker 1: She treated me like family. I've always loved her for that.

1702
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,320
Speaker 1: I'm close with my father in law too, but with

1703
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:04,519
Speaker 1: my mother in law it always felt like more of

1704
01:17:04,560 --> 01:17:09,720
Speaker 1: a friendship. And then everything flipped. Just after Christmas. My

1705
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:12,080
Speaker 1: father in law sat us all down and told us

1706
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,200
Speaker 1: that she had been having an affair and that it

1707
01:17:15,439 --> 01:17:18,320
Speaker 1: wasn't the first time. He said that he tried to

1708
01:17:18,360 --> 01:17:20,559
Speaker 1: make things work, but he couldn't do it anymore. He

1709
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:24,200
Speaker 1: was heartbroken and it chattered the whole family. My husband

1710
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:27,520
Speaker 1: and his brothers were crushed and they all cut contact

1711
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:30,080
Speaker 1: with her, and she moved out soon afterward. I get

1712
01:17:30,120 --> 01:17:35,479
Speaker 1: it cheating as a betrayal, especially after decades. Plural of marriage.

1713
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:38,360
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to excuse what she did, but I

1714
01:17:38,439 --> 01:17:41,160
Speaker 1: also couldn't ignore the fact that during one of the

1715
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:44,519
Speaker 1: worst times in my life, she showed me care and

1716
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:47,160
Speaker 1: kindness when I felt like I had no one that

1717
01:17:47,600 --> 01:17:50,240
Speaker 1: stayed with me. A few weeks ago, she reached out

1718
01:17:50,280 --> 01:17:53,000
Speaker 1: to me directly. She said she was running low on

1719
01:17:53,160 --> 01:17:55,719
Speaker 1: rent and didn't know who else to ask. She sounded

1720
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:59,280
Speaker 1: anxious and desperate, and I helped her. It wasn't a

1721
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:02,920
Speaker 1: huge amount, and she was incredibly grateful. She asked if

1722
01:18:02,960 --> 01:18:05,479
Speaker 1: i'd be willing to meet her for coffee. I said yes.

1723
01:18:05,720 --> 01:18:08,559
Speaker 1: When we met, she broke down and told me that

1724
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:11,200
Speaker 1: she's tried reaching out to her sons, but none of

1725
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:14,080
Speaker 1: them responded, so I listened. I didn't try to defend

1726
01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:17,040
Speaker 1: her or fix anything. I just tried to be there

1727
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:19,320
Speaker 1: for her the way that she once was for me.

1728
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:22,040
Speaker 1: Later that evening, I told my husband about it, and

1729
01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:26,040
Speaker 1: he completely lost it. He said I betrayed him and

1730
01:18:26,120 --> 01:18:28,600
Speaker 1: went behind his back, and he left the house. The

1731
01:18:28,640 --> 01:18:31,200
Speaker 1: next day. I tried to explain where I was coming from.

1732
01:18:31,240 --> 01:18:33,360
Speaker 1: I told him I wasn't trying to choose sides. I

1733
01:18:33,520 --> 01:18:36,240
Speaker 1: just reacted to someone I care about being in a

1734
01:18:36,280 --> 01:18:38,479
Speaker 1: tough spot. He didn't say much and just told me

1735
01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:40,439
Speaker 1: to not do it again. When his brothers found out,

1736
01:18:40,479 --> 01:18:42,760
Speaker 1: they were disappointed in me as well. They said I

1737
01:18:42,840 --> 01:18:45,680
Speaker 1: crossed a line and should have respected their decision to

1738
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:49,280
Speaker 1: cut contact. Now I feel stuck. I understand why they're upset.

1739
01:18:49,439 --> 01:18:52,040
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just couldn't turn

1740
01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:54,840
Speaker 1: my back on someone who once didn't turn her back

1741
01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:58,080
Speaker 1: on mine. I wasn't trying to undermine their pain. I

1742
01:18:58,240 --> 01:19:00,519
Speaker 1: was trying to act with compassion. I'm not here to

1743
01:19:00,640 --> 01:19:03,759
Speaker 1: justify what was done, and I understand why my husband

1744
01:19:03,760 --> 01:19:06,800
Speaker 1: feels hurt. I acted on instinct and compassion in a

1745
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:09,439
Speaker 1: tough moment. But now I feel like I've damaged something

1746
01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:13,200
Speaker 1: really important. I'd really appreciate any advice as to what

1747
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:15,840
Speaker 1: to do further. How do I navigate this? We have

1748
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:17,720
Speaker 1: some comments here, but before we give him up to

1749
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:20,320
Speaker 1: the comments, my dear Florida man, John, that is me,

1750
01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:23,000
Speaker 1: the Florida man with the plan. What are your thoughts

1751
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,360
Speaker 1: on the situation? Because I've got a handful.

1752
01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:28,280
Speaker 3: Yes, So basically breaking it down, you have Opie and

1753
01:19:28,760 --> 01:19:31,120
Speaker 3: Opie's mother in law, who he's had a great relationship

1754
01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:33,439
Speaker 3: with in the past, but turns out she was a

1755
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:37,840
Speaker 3: cheater and this was not the first time he helped

1756
01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:39,080
Speaker 3: her out in a pinch, gave her a little bit

1757
01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:43,880
Speaker 3: of rent money, and now Opie's husband is mad at him, like, hey,

1758
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:44,519
Speaker 3: what are you doing?

1759
01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:48,840
Speaker 1: Why are you helping her? This is really tough.

1760
01:19:48,880 --> 01:19:51,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I think one maybe the first thing I'll

1761
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:53,720
Speaker 3: call out and curious what your response is on Like

1762
01:19:54,680 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 3: obviously you you know, I get being angry, but like

1763
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:01,760
Speaker 3: essentially making them homeless kind of in.

1764
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:04,760
Speaker 1: A way, right, there is a little bit of hypocrisy

1765
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:08,400
Speaker 1: going on here in the way where the brothers and

1766
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:11,320
Speaker 1: I think the husband as well, we're like, why aren't

1767
01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,599
Speaker 1: you respecting our decision that we cut off my mom?

1768
01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:16,920
Speaker 1: It's like, well, she's not my mom, yeah, and I

1769
01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:20,439
Speaker 1: didn't cut her off, so can you also respect my

1770
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:23,599
Speaker 1: decision to not cut off your mother because her affair

1771
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:26,719
Speaker 1: has literally nothing to do with me, Like I'm your husband,

1772
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 1: but like she's not my mom. Y'all can be mad

1773
01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:30,000
Speaker 1: at her in that way in a way that I

1774
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:32,679
Speaker 1: cannot because she's didn't raise me, you know what I mean.

1775
01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:36,120
Speaker 1: So let's get into these comments comment number one where

1776
01:20:36,200 --> 01:20:39,439
Speaker 1: you went wrong. Is not talking to your husband first

1777
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:42,160
Speaker 1: before meeting your mother in law, no matter if your

1778
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:44,800
Speaker 1: decision was helping her out, no matter what he said,

1779
01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:47,640
Speaker 1: you should have still let him know first how you

1780
01:20:47,680 --> 01:20:50,920
Speaker 1: feel and why you feel that way. Going behind someone's

1781
01:20:50,960 --> 01:20:54,519
Speaker 1: back and asking sorry later is not how loving relationships work.

1782
01:20:54,560 --> 01:20:56,920
Speaker 1: But again, I don't know if I agree with that comment,

1783
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,759
Speaker 1: because that makes it sound like you needed permission from

1784
01:21:00,080 --> 01:21:04,360
Speaker 1: your partner to even speak to their adulterous mother, which

1785
01:21:04,400 --> 01:21:08,360
Speaker 1: you don't. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I agree with that.

1786
01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:11,520
Speaker 3: I mean, would it have been good to just like

1787
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:15,479
Speaker 3: like let him know. Yes, But also to your point,

1788
01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:18,400
Speaker 3: there shouldn't be this like kind of permission weird like

1789
01:21:18,479 --> 01:21:20,720
Speaker 3: permission like structure built into it.

1790
01:21:20,720 --> 01:21:23,040
Speaker 1: It's like you're kind of forcing op to be roped

1791
01:21:23,080 --> 01:21:26,840
Speaker 1: in to the family debacle instead of just like letting

1792
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:29,720
Speaker 1: them be an outside. Yeah you know, I mean, they're

1793
01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:32,680
Speaker 1: not a spectator because they're married in but it's like,

1794
01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,920
Speaker 1: you know, it's just fundamentally different. Yeah. Comment number two

1795
01:21:37,160 --> 01:21:39,719
Speaker 1: probably should have talked to your husband first before going

1796
01:21:39,760 --> 01:21:41,479
Speaker 1: behind his back. I get you wanted to help, but

1797
01:21:41,560 --> 01:21:44,320
Speaker 1: he is your partner who is hurting, and you deceived

1798
01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:46,760
Speaker 1: him just like his mother comment number three. In this

1799
01:21:46,880 --> 01:21:50,240
Speaker 1: kind of situation, people choose sides, especially when it's fresh.

1800
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:52,720
Speaker 1: You have to remember that cutting her out isn't just

1801
01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:55,240
Speaker 1: about them not wanting to see her. It's also about

1802
01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:58,000
Speaker 1: punishing her. That is part of why your husband's family

1803
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:01,120
Speaker 1: is angry. I won't say whether punishing is right or wrong.

1804
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:04,040
Speaker 1: Ostracism can be very complex. When people in your orbit

1805
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:07,439
Speaker 1: initiate something like this, your chances are to participate or

1806
01:22:07,479 --> 01:22:10,160
Speaker 1: to not. If you're not participating, then likely to them

1807
01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:13,679
Speaker 1: you are undermining their punishment. I think to your husband,

1808
01:22:13,880 --> 01:22:17,840
Speaker 1: she's his mother. Your relationship with her exists through him,

1809
01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:19,960
Speaker 1: so if she is out of his life, he expects

1810
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,200
Speaker 1: her to be out of your life too. I'm sure

1811
01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:24,639
Speaker 1: to you, helping her meant that your love for her

1812
01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:27,799
Speaker 1: was stronger than your disappointment in her actions. For people

1813
01:22:27,840 --> 01:22:30,160
Speaker 1: that were more hurt by her actions, it's just going

1814
01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:33,000
Speaker 1: to read like condoning. Unfortunately, we don't really get to

1815
01:22:33,080 --> 01:22:36,479
Speaker 1: choose how our actions impact others beyond that. You say

1816
01:22:36,640 --> 01:22:39,639
Speaker 1: you acted on instinct and compassion, but is that true.

1817
01:22:39,680 --> 01:22:42,120
Speaker 1: You make it sound like an involuntary action that you

1818
01:22:42,160 --> 01:22:44,360
Speaker 1: took her call, met her for coffee where she talked

1819
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:47,519
Speaker 1: about her sow, her son's not responding, and gave her money,

1820
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:50,320
Speaker 1: all without thinking about how everyone else would feel about it.

1821
01:22:50,360 --> 01:22:52,559
Speaker 1: I don't believe that. I think the first step here

1822
01:22:52,640 --> 01:22:55,360
Speaker 1: is owning your actions. You either own them as a

1823
01:22:55,520 --> 01:22:58,040
Speaker 1: choice you made that you deeply regret and wish you

1824
01:22:58,040 --> 01:22:59,920
Speaker 1: could change, or you own them as a choice you

1825
01:23:00,280 --> 01:23:02,559
Speaker 1: make again in a heartbeat. That means telling your husband

1826
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:04,439
Speaker 1: either I regret meeting with your mother I should have

1827
01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,840
Speaker 1: cared more about how it would impact you, or your

1828
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:08,800
Speaker 1: mother means too much to me and I'm not willing

1829
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,439
Speaker 1: to cut her out of my life. Then I guess

1830
01:23:10,479 --> 01:23:12,720
Speaker 1: you go from there fair enough. That's perfect. There's no

1831
01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:14,880
Speaker 1: way to get out of this without hurting someone. But

1832
01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:18,120
Speaker 1: do remember who created this situation. It wasn't your husband

1833
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,400
Speaker 1: or his brother's comment number four. The difference between your

1834
01:23:21,479 --> 01:23:23,800
Speaker 1: tough time and her tough time is that yours was

1835
01:23:23,800 --> 01:23:26,439
Speaker 1: brought on by a mental illness depression, and hers is

1836
01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:29,200
Speaker 1: the consequence of her own actions cheating. I get that

1837
01:23:29,240 --> 01:23:31,439
Speaker 1: you wanted to return the compassion she showed you, but

1838
01:23:31,520 --> 01:23:35,120
Speaker 1: you should let sleeping dogs lie talk to me really quick.

1839
01:23:35,280 --> 01:23:37,720
Speaker 1: It's kind of like an okay, storytime. There is a

1840
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 1: man me and my buddy were skiing in Taos, right, yeah,

1841
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:43,919
Speaker 1: we get stuck up there on the mountain. We've lost

1842
01:23:43,920 --> 01:23:46,559
Speaker 1: his keys, his cars parked in the lot. We have

1843
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:49,800
Speaker 1: no way. We are three hours from civilization, we have

1844
01:23:50,080 --> 01:23:52,559
Speaker 1: no way to get back home. A guy working in

1845
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:56,439
Speaker 1: the parking lot ended up literally giving us his truck.

1846
01:23:56,520 --> 01:23:58,479
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, we drove it three

1847
01:23:58,520 --> 01:24:01,679
Speaker 1: hours back to where we lived. His spare key, drove

1848
01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:03,439
Speaker 1: the truck back and gave it back to that guy.

1849
01:24:03,439 --> 01:24:05,599
Speaker 1: And his name was Kurt. And I will never ever

1850
01:24:05,760 --> 01:24:09,640
Speaker 1: ever forget how Kirk had our back so hard and

1851
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:11,600
Speaker 1: so like for me, Like I know that that is

1852
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:14,040
Speaker 1: two very different situations that what's going on in the story,

1853
01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:17,160
Speaker 1: But I will always remember how much Kurt helped me.

1854
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:20,680
Speaker 1: So for op Opie's always can remember how much the

1855
01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:23,640
Speaker 1: mother in law helped him in that moment. None of

1856
01:24:23,640 --> 01:24:25,840
Speaker 1: the stuff outside of that matters, Like Kirk could have

1857
01:24:25,920 --> 01:24:27,840
Speaker 1: an affair with his wife, I would still help Kurt

1858
01:24:27,960 --> 01:24:32,520
Speaker 1: because he helped. Because you have no idea how screwed

1859
01:24:32,560 --> 01:24:34,280
Speaker 1: me and my friend were. I'm gonna be honest, I

1860
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:37,559
Speaker 1: think it's a gray zone, and I think that like

1861
01:24:37,920 --> 01:24:41,840
Speaker 1: I do understand, especially in other cases. Again, we talked

1862
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:43,840
Speaker 1: about the scenario of like, oh what if Opie kept

1863
01:24:43,880 --> 01:24:46,240
Speaker 1: inviting mother in law to like family functions and like, hey,

1864
01:24:46,320 --> 01:24:47,759
Speaker 1: we don't want to see this woman.

1865
01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:50,040
Speaker 3: Who like broke all of our hearts, broke our father's heart.

1866
01:24:50,439 --> 01:24:53,000
Speaker 3: Like that's a completely different story where Ope's like kind

1867
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:56,479
Speaker 3: of force, you know, interrupting their kind of like siloed experience,

1868
01:24:56,520 --> 01:25:00,000
Speaker 3: like you said, right, bringing inside instead of being outside.

1869
01:25:00,160 --> 01:25:03,760
Speaker 1: She would be hijacked or he'd be hijacking. The no contact, Yeah,

1870
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:04,879
Speaker 1: the no contact exactly.

1871
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:07,960
Speaker 3: So while I do think it is a gray zone,

1872
01:25:08,040 --> 01:25:10,559
Speaker 3: I just like you know, putting on our judge robes

1873
01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:13,920
Speaker 3: and like having to decide on the gray area. I

1874
01:25:14,040 --> 01:25:17,719
Speaker 3: just don't think it's it's a punishment that fits the crime.

1875
01:25:17,840 --> 01:25:19,639
Speaker 3: I just I just don't. I just don't think that,

1876
01:25:19,680 --> 01:25:21,880
Speaker 3: even though I understand, you know, Opie could have just

1877
01:25:21,920 --> 01:25:24,320
Speaker 3: maybe communicated that that was going to happen, like hey, look,

1878
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:26,360
Speaker 3: I'm going to do this. This is why I like

1879
01:25:26,400 --> 01:25:28,439
Speaker 3: your point of like not having like a permission thing.

1880
01:25:28,960 --> 01:25:33,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Update March twenty sixth, Three days later,

1881
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:35,519
Speaker 1: I lost access to my previous accounts, so I'm posting

1882
01:25:35,520 --> 01:25:37,720
Speaker 1: it from here. I didn't expect my post to gain

1883
01:25:37,760 --> 01:25:40,200
Speaker 1: the kind of traction it did. I genuinely appreciate the

1884
01:25:40,200 --> 01:25:44,040
Speaker 1: advice many of you offered. Some responses were a bit nuclear,

1885
01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:47,840
Speaker 1: understandably because Reddit, but I did hay in a lot

1886
01:25:47,880 --> 01:25:50,160
Speaker 1: of perspectives that helped me reflect. I want to share

1887
01:25:50,200 --> 01:25:52,720
Speaker 1: some contexts that I didn't include in the original post,

1888
01:25:52,800 --> 01:25:55,760
Speaker 1: which I now realize was important. A few years ago,

1889
01:25:55,920 --> 01:25:59,040
Speaker 1: I went through a rough depressive episode. My husband and

1890
01:25:59,200 --> 01:26:01,320
Speaker 1: I were doing long distance at the time. He was

1891
01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:05,040
Speaker 1: working abroad, uh what's her name, and while he supported

1892
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:08,320
Speaker 1: me as best he could, it was hard. His mom

1893
01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:11,479
Speaker 1: was the one who showed up in person. She dropped

1894
01:26:11,479 --> 01:26:14,680
Speaker 1: by often, made sure I was eating, even came with

1895
01:26:14,800 --> 01:26:17,000
Speaker 1: me to therapy a couple of times. It wasn't some

1896
01:26:17,240 --> 01:26:21,320
Speaker 1: grand gesture, but it mattered. That kind of consistency stays

1897
01:26:21,360 --> 01:26:23,599
Speaker 1: with you. So when she reached out a few days ago,

1898
01:26:23,680 --> 01:26:26,120
Speaker 1: anxious and saying she didn't know who else to ask,

1899
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:28,680
Speaker 1: I just reacted. I helped her with a bit of

1900
01:26:28,720 --> 01:26:32,439
Speaker 1: money from my personal account, nothing major, and I agreed

1901
01:26:32,439 --> 01:26:34,879
Speaker 1: to meet her for coffee. I didn't tell my husband

1902
01:26:34,880 --> 01:26:38,080
Speaker 1: before doing it, and that was where things really unraveled.

1903
01:26:38,120 --> 01:26:41,040
Speaker 1: He was blindsided. We've always been the kind of couple

1904
01:26:41,040 --> 01:26:44,040
Speaker 1: who talks through the hard stuff, and I acted completely

1905
01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:46,800
Speaker 1: on my own. I see now how that felt like

1906
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:49,439
Speaker 1: betrayal to him. After a bit of space and some

1907
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:53,120
Speaker 1: heavy conversations, we talked properly. He told me he'd spoken

1908
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:56,080
Speaker 1: to his younger brother and finally got the full story

1909
01:26:56,120 --> 01:26:58,559
Speaker 1: about their last attempt to reach out to their mom.

1910
01:26:58,680 --> 01:27:02,400
Speaker 1: It wasn't just in our It was bad. She said

1911
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:05,920
Speaker 1: things that were apparently cruel and deeply personal, the kind

1912
01:27:05,920 --> 01:27:09,160
Speaker 1: of stuff that cuts years deep. I hadn't known any

1913
01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:11,639
Speaker 1: of that. Neither of us had hearing it change something

1914
01:27:11,720 --> 01:27:14,639
Speaker 1: for me. The woman I saw at coffee was warm, vulnerable,

1915
01:27:14,680 --> 01:27:17,080
Speaker 1: even a little lost. But that's not the woman his

1916
01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:21,200
Speaker 1: brother dealt with. And maybe both are real. Maybe she's unraveling,

1917
01:27:21,280 --> 01:27:24,280
Speaker 1: maybe she's always been complicated. I honestly don't know. And

1918
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:27,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause really quick to say both of them

1919
01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:30,959
Speaker 1: are real. Dennis hoff or dust not Dennis Dustin Hoffmann

1920
01:27:31,160 --> 01:27:34,080
Speaker 1: is an actor. Really quick, I'm I promise this relevant

1921
01:27:34,400 --> 01:27:36,479
Speaker 1: talks about how it's like, you know, actors will be like, oh,

1922
01:27:36,479 --> 01:27:38,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't possibly play like the mean person or the

1923
01:27:38,960 --> 01:27:41,400
Speaker 1: the you know, and it's like why, and it's like, well,

1924
01:27:41,400 --> 01:27:43,160
Speaker 1: because I'm so nice. It's like you're not nice all

1925
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:45,280
Speaker 1: the time, like that that there's a mean version of

1926
01:27:45,320 --> 01:27:47,519
Speaker 1: you inside of you that you could bring out, you

1927
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:49,240
Speaker 1: just don't want to because you've been told that it's

1928
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:51,280
Speaker 1: like wrong or whatever. So there's a version of her

1929
01:27:51,479 --> 01:27:53,800
Speaker 1: that is that person talking to her youngest son, and

1930
01:27:53,800 --> 01:27:56,080
Speaker 1: then there's the version of her that you spoke to

1931
01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:59,240
Speaker 1: that is the warm, empathetic, confused woman. They both exist. Yeah.

1932
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:01,680
Speaker 3: I like how he's basically painting the whole portrait of

1933
01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:05,479
Speaker 3: like it is complicated she she is a whole person

1934
01:28:05,560 --> 01:28:07,680
Speaker 3: with these multiple size and like she's hurting you know,

1935
01:28:07,720 --> 01:28:10,840
Speaker 3: her sons over here, and she gave me life changing

1936
01:28:10,880 --> 01:28:11,639
Speaker 3: help over here.

1937
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:13,400
Speaker 1: Yes, both are true at the same time. Yes, Yeah.

1938
01:28:13,439 --> 01:28:16,600
Speaker 1: What I do know here is that my husband's boundaries

1939
01:28:16,800 --> 01:28:20,519
Speaker 1: are valid mmmmm, which is true. He told me clearly

1940
01:28:20,560 --> 01:28:22,559
Speaker 1: that he's not ready to reconnect with her and that

1941
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,800
Speaker 1: he's not comfortable with me being in touch with her either,

1942
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:29,240
Speaker 1: And after hearing what I've heard, I understand that I've

1943
01:28:29,240 --> 01:28:32,040
Speaker 1: told him I'm stepping back if she does reach out again.

1944
01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:34,519
Speaker 1: I'll tell her that I can't be the person in

1945
01:28:34,560 --> 01:28:38,599
Speaker 1: the middle, not unless something genuinely shifts between them. First,

1946
01:28:38,640 --> 01:28:41,519
Speaker 1: we both apologized, he for shutting down so quickly and

1947
01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:44,720
Speaker 1: me for making a decision without him when I shouldn't have.

1948
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:47,920
Speaker 1: We're okay now. I still think there's something more going

1949
01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:51,400
Speaker 1: on with her, emotionally, maybe even mentally. She's been a

1950
01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:53,120
Speaker 1: stay at home mom most of her life, and her

1951
01:28:53,160 --> 01:28:55,920
Speaker 1: siblings live abroad, and from what I've heard, she's already

1952
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:58,800
Speaker 1: asked her friends for help before coming to me. That

1953
01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:01,639
Speaker 1: doesn't excuse an, but it does make me think about

1954
01:29:01,640 --> 01:29:04,559
Speaker 1: how lost she might be right now. Still, that's not

1955
01:29:04,720 --> 01:29:07,920
Speaker 1: something I can fix. Right now. My focus is on us.

1956
01:29:08,040 --> 01:29:10,080
Speaker 1: I can care about what his mom did for me

1957
01:29:10,200 --> 01:29:12,840
Speaker 1: in the past and still recognize that she has hurt

1958
01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:16,000
Speaker 1: people I love. This whole situation has been messy and

1959
01:29:16,320 --> 01:29:18,559
Speaker 1: a bit surreal. We didn't walk away from it with

1960
01:29:18,680 --> 01:29:20,640
Speaker 1: everything fixed, but we've come out of it with a

1961
01:29:20,640 --> 01:29:23,559
Speaker 1: better understanding of where we each stand. We handled it

1962
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:26,040
Speaker 1: in the best way we could, and at the end

1963
01:29:26,040 --> 01:29:28,840
Speaker 1: of the day, we're still solid. And by the way,

1964
01:29:29,280 --> 01:29:33,920
Speaker 1: you can be so solid, oh by solidly listening to

1965
01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:37,880
Speaker 1: full episodes with stories like this one. All you have

1966
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:41,400
Speaker 1: to do is go to iHeartRadio or Apple podcasts or

1967
01:29:41,439 --> 01:29:45,240
Speaker 1: Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts and search. Okay,

1968
01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:48,519
Speaker 1: story time, But you know, before we finish it, I

1969
01:29:48,520 --> 01:29:49,880
Speaker 1: mean like we're in a good place.

1970
01:29:50,080 --> 01:29:53,240
Speaker 3: I am just in awe and love this communication and

1971
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:57,080
Speaker 3: just the realness of it. Hey, look, it was messy.

1972
01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:59,880
Speaker 3: We learned the mom as a complicated person with multiple

1973
01:29:59,880 --> 01:30:02,719
Speaker 3: thing but you know what, we sat down, we talked

1974
01:30:02,720 --> 01:30:05,000
Speaker 3: about it. We looked at ourselves, we look at our partners,

1975
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:08,200
Speaker 3: we looked at the whole scenario, and we came out better.

1976
01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:11,240
Speaker 1: For that's right. What more can you ask? So still,

1977
01:30:11,320 --> 01:30:13,839
Speaker 1: I can't lie. There's a part of me that feels

1978
01:30:14,040 --> 01:30:17,240
Speaker 1: pulled toward who she was for me during that rough time.

1979
01:30:17,360 --> 01:30:20,639
Speaker 1: Letting go emotionally feels messier than I expected. How do

1980
01:30:20,720 --> 01:30:23,200
Speaker 1: you emotionally let go of someone who was once there

1981
01:30:23,200 --> 01:30:26,360
Speaker 1: for you when this situation clearly calls for distance. We

1982
01:30:26,400 --> 01:30:30,400
Speaker 1: have some comments providing some insight here. Couples resolving issues

1983
01:30:30,479 --> 01:30:32,519
Speaker 1: like adults talking them out and listening to each other

1984
01:30:32,640 --> 01:30:34,880
Speaker 1: is always nice to see. In an update. Yes, I

1985
01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:38,360
Speaker 1: agree comment too. I think your comment about maybe she's

1986
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:41,960
Speaker 1: always been complicated is probably spot on. Most people are complex,

1987
01:30:42,040 --> 01:30:44,360
Speaker 1: and you only see the side that they allow you to.

1988
01:30:44,520 --> 01:30:47,600
Speaker 1: Number three tough situation for sure. In the end, you

1989
01:30:47,680 --> 01:30:49,240
Speaker 1: only knew the part of her she was willing to

1990
01:30:49,280 --> 01:30:53,280
Speaker 1: show you. Her compassion when you needed a friend was undeniable. However,

1991
01:30:53,479 --> 01:30:55,439
Speaker 1: there seems to be a lot more about her that

1992
01:30:55,479 --> 01:30:58,320
Speaker 1: you truly don't know and probably never will. You tried

1993
01:30:58,320 --> 01:31:00,680
Speaker 1: to support her in a similar way that she supported you.

1994
01:31:00,840 --> 01:31:03,040
Speaker 1: That part is now done, and while you may not

1995
01:31:03,160 --> 01:31:05,679
Speaker 1: think of it as being in the same meaningful way,

1996
01:31:05,840 --> 01:31:08,640
Speaker 1: it definitely was for her. Let it go now and

1997
01:31:08,720 --> 01:31:11,479
Speaker 1: feel good about being compassionate to her, but let your

1998
01:31:11,560 --> 01:31:15,200
Speaker 1: husband and his family dictate any further involvement. Best wishes.

1999
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:17,080
Speaker 1: Love that comment, I.

2000
01:31:16,760 --> 01:31:19,320
Speaker 3: Love it, OPI and the comment are just locked in,

2001
01:31:20,120 --> 01:31:21,240
Speaker 3: locked in right now.

2002
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:26,000
Speaker 1: Holy bodly. This is a healthy update and brave of

2003
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,280
Speaker 1: you to recognize that the person you knew who helped

2004
01:31:28,320 --> 01:31:30,160
Speaker 1: you and the person who caused a lot of hurt

2005
01:31:30,240 --> 01:31:33,639
Speaker 1: are not mutually exclusive. They are both capable of existing

2006
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:35,640
Speaker 1: at the same time, and they both come with their

2007
01:31:35,680 --> 01:31:38,600
Speaker 1: own type of grief. In a situation like this, reconciling

2008
01:31:38,640 --> 01:31:41,600
Speaker 1: the love and esteem you have for someone who fundamentally

2009
01:31:41,640 --> 01:31:44,640
Speaker 1: supported you through darkness is so challenging in light of

2010
01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:48,679
Speaker 1: them creating that darkness for someone else, many someones. Really,

2011
01:31:48,760 --> 01:31:51,160
Speaker 1: do you think maybe some therapy might help you short

2012
01:31:51,240 --> 01:31:53,920
Speaker 1: term in processing these feelings. I commend you and your

2013
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:57,040
Speaker 1: husband both for communicating and giving each other grace during

2014
01:31:57,080 --> 01:31:59,559
Speaker 1: this time. It's easy to lose sight of things when

2015
01:31:59,560 --> 01:32:03,519
Speaker 1: we're and emotionally charged. You both came together, created space

2016
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:06,440
Speaker 1: and acknowledgement for one another, and came to the resolution

2017
01:32:06,600 --> 01:32:10,759
Speaker 1: you have now. However fragile it feels, it is still progress.

2018
01:32:10,960 --> 01:32:13,599
Speaker 1: Things will become easier with time and a little bit

2019
01:32:13,640 --> 01:32:17,519
Speaker 1: of distance from it. Good job and ladies and gentlemen.

2020
01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:20,960
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. What notes do

2021
01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:23,920
Speaker 1: I have? None? Perfect ending?

2022
01:32:24,120 --> 01:32:27,439
Speaker 3: Just what a great analysis, what great self awareness, what

2023
01:32:27,479 --> 01:32:28,200
Speaker 3: great empathy?

2024
01:32:28,240 --> 01:32:31,800
Speaker 1: What great communication? You can't ask for mee? Yeah?

2025
01:32:31,840 --> 01:32:34,599
Speaker 3: And you know what. Life can be complicated. These people

2026
01:32:34,640 --> 01:32:37,080
Speaker 3: can be complicated, but we acknowledge it and we just

2027
01:32:37,120 --> 01:32:37,360
Speaker 3: work