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Speaker 1: So are you trapped in secret addiction? Well, today's guests

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Speaker 1: lived that life for decades until Jesus led him into

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Speaker 1: freedom in the last place he ever expected, a prison's hill.

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Speaker 1: But before we get to that, I got your attention,

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Speaker 1: Joiney around the tables, April Simon's a great testimony today.

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Speaker 2: You got my attention. From felony to forgiveness. We've never

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Speaker 2: had that on right.

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Speaker 3: I love you.

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Speaker 4: Can't wait to hear the story and a kindle.

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Speaker 5: I'm excited about this story. People are going to be

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Speaker 5: set free. We're all flowing into pink today. Rachel Michelle,

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Speaker 5: how are you.

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Speaker 6: I'm good and man, I am so glad that Jesus

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Speaker 6: doesn't give up on us, and that, you know, matter

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Speaker 6: how many times you fall down, all you have to

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Speaker 6: do is get back up, and He is waiting, ready

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Speaker 6: to receive you with open arms.

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Speaker 4: That's the story of our guest.

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Speaker 1: I have to tell you a funny story. So I

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Speaker 1: talked to my mother this morning.

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Speaker 3: I already know what it's going to be.

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Speaker 1: I talk to her every morning, and she watched the

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Speaker 1: show this morning, and of course we pre record and

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Speaker 1: then you know, shows the air for all over the

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Speaker 1: place and you must have had your hair straight this morning.

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Speaker 1: She just said, would you please tell Rachel I'll like

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Speaker 1: a little curl in her hair?

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Speaker 4: So Mom, are you happy mom? That she watches it

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Speaker 4: is right there.

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Speaker 1: Moms are amazing or they just tell you like it,

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Speaker 1: especially when they're in their eighties, they will say whatever, man.

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Speaker 6: I look forward to that day the filter off.

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Speaker 4: But right now you've got to leave it. Okay. Cindy Johnston,

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Speaker 4: how are you a Jonie?

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Speaker 7: Doing great? Excited about this testimony?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 7: I love the fact that when God sent Jesus, Jesus

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Speaker 7: didn't come to condemn us. We tended to condemn each other,

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Speaker 7: but he didn't, and he came to love us. And

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Speaker 7: no matter where we've done, or what we've done.

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Speaker 4: Or where we've done, he is there to help us.

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Speaker 7: Yep, what we've done.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 1: He's a celebrated recovery coach and a podcast host.

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Speaker 4: Please welcome Michael Moultan.

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Speaker 8: Come on in, Michael, Come on, ladies, how y'all doing good?

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Speaker 4: This ought to be interesting. Are you ready that the question?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure I think you would do fine. After

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Speaker 1: one too many arrests, Michael Moulton found himself locked in

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Speaker 1: a sail with a convicted killer.

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Speaker 4: Well today he's here to share.

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Speaker 1: God met him at his lowest point, turning rock bottom

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Speaker 1: into holy ground.

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Speaker 4: Do you realize how.

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Speaker 1: Many people I've interviewed over the last thirty years with

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Speaker 1: these kind of testimonies, And it is always amazing to

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Speaker 1: me how God can take a life that is broken.

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Speaker 1: I mean that the world had given up on this,

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Speaker 1: and he can reach down and just redeem it, save it,

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Speaker 1: wash it clean.

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Speaker 4: Turn it around. And that's what he wants to do

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Speaker 4: for you today.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so stay right there, welcome you, So good to

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Speaker 1: have you.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: God can take our mess and turn it into a ministry.

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Speaker 4: Right, well, he takes our mess and turns it into

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Speaker 4: a message.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so tell us growing up. You grew up in

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Speaker 1: an a fluent home. I did the Golden spoon, like,

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Speaker 1: everything's great.

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Speaker 4: What happened?

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Speaker 3: I did?

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Speaker 8: I grew up in the country clothes and what happened?

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Speaker 3: It's like, what happened to you?

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Speaker 9: Yeah?

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Speaker 8: I grew up and yeah, my dad was a hard

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Speaker 8: worker and everything was provided outside the home.

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Speaker 3: Everything appeared to.

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Speaker 8: Be normal, you know, the country club and playing golf,

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Speaker 8: had a brand new car when I was sixteen and

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Speaker 8: play o and then behind closed doors. It was a

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Speaker 8: very dark and a confusing part of my life. I

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Speaker 8: had a grandfather that was sexually abusing me from kindergarten

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Speaker 8: to fifth grade.

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Speaker 3: I have a mom that was, you know, battling a

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Speaker 3: substance of abuse. I believe she was. The thing about

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Speaker 3: addiction is it's the only.

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Speaker 8: Disease that has to be self diagnosed. That's what's so

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Speaker 8: frustrating about it. But I recognized the behaviors.

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Speaker 1: Well, did you tell anyone what was going on with

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Speaker 1: your grandfather?

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Speaker 4: This was your mother's.

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Speaker 3: Father, that's correct, And so I didn't.

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Speaker 1: Did he tell you better not say anything or anything

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Speaker 1: like that?

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Speaker 8: Never did, Thanks for asking that. No, he never did.

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Speaker 8: There was never a threat.

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Speaker 3: It was just known that I wasn't going to say anything.

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Speaker 1: Was he did he have a problem with addictionsy oh?

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 8: He was a raging, raging alcoholic and he actually desired.

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Speaker 3: He died of this disease of throat cancer, you know,

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Speaker 3: from alcoholism.

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Speaker 1: And so as a little boy, what were you thinking

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Speaker 1: when this was happening to you?

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Speaker 8: Two things I was I was protecting my brother number one,

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Speaker 8: because I didn't want, you know, him to go after

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Speaker 8: my brother. Number two was is I was actually protecting

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Speaker 8: my family because I didn't want anybody to think bad

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Speaker 8: about my family outside the house.

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Speaker 9: So I was.

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Speaker 8: Willing to take it the hit, you know, and to

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Speaker 8: take on that pain and that suffering in order for

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Speaker 8: nobody else to have the pain and suffering.

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Speaker 1: Did you then start to make some bad choices at

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Speaker 1: that point?

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Speaker 3: I had my first drink when I was ten years old.

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Speaker 1: Where was God in all this? By the way, like,

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Speaker 1: did you ever did you go to church?

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Speaker 8: Or there were times where you know, I'd go to church.

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Speaker 8: I'll never forget. I went to a church camp, a

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Speaker 8: weekend camp in the fifth grade, and I got in

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Speaker 8: trouble because I was teaching people how to gamble, you know,

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Speaker 8: and teaching people how to pitch pennies and want all

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Speaker 8: the pennies, and I got in trouble. After that, I

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Speaker 8: always was thinking being curious if there was a God

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Speaker 8: out there. I wasn't an atheist, yeah, you know, I

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Speaker 8: was a true agnostic, but I was so addicted to

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Speaker 8: the world and the culture. What the world and the

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Speaker 8: culture had to offer is what I was addicted to so.

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Speaker 1: Even though you had some kind of secret addictions going

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Speaker 1: on even through high school, and there were other doors

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Speaker 1: of opportunity that began to open right as far as

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Speaker 1: like golf, and.

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Speaker 8: I was a good golfer. You know, for a long time.

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Speaker 8: Alcohol and drugs worked for me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 8: It eased that pain and suffering, and it gave me

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Speaker 8: that sense of ease and comfort until it stopped working.

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Speaker 1: Because you don't realize that that's what you're trying to

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Speaker 1: deal with, is what happened with the grandfather, And so

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Speaker 1: to deal with the pain, the alcohol and drugs helps

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Speaker 1: with that.

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Speaker 3: Right, I can summarize it real quick.

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Speaker 8: I drank alcohol and I did drugs because I wanted

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Speaker 8: to feel like y'all looked.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to feel like everybody around me looked.

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Speaker 8: Then I continue to drink alcohol and do drugs towards

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Speaker 8: the end because I wanted to feel good about the

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Speaker 8: bad decisions I was making. Yeah, and that's how this

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Speaker 8: disease is progressive.

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Speaker 3: But everyone's an adict.

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Speaker 8: We think of, you know, drugs and alcohol, but addiction

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Speaker 8: is seeking visible things to try to fix our invisible problems.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 1: So seeking visible things to fix invisible problems. And you

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Speaker 1: said earlier that an addict is someone How did you

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Speaker 1: say it that?

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Speaker 8: What is addiction that you know the definition of addiction

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Speaker 8: is and it's it's a I could get real deep

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Speaker 8: on this. This is this is what's really cool about this.

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Speaker 8: Addiction is the street name for spiritual stronghold.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that is the truth.

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Speaker 8: Addiction is a person, place thing. And here's a scary one, ladies,

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Speaker 8: or a thought that has become.

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Speaker 3: My source, that has been my source.

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Speaker 1: It's become my source, an idol, idol, that's exactly right,

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Speaker 1: kind of sitting on the throne of your heart instead

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Speaker 1: of God and the Okay.

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Speaker 4: So you then became a caddy for like a.

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Speaker 8: I was a caddy for one of the most well

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Speaker 8: known golfers at the time.

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Speaker 3: I was a bookie on the tour. You know, it

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Speaker 3: was rock and roll.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, And I grew up in the country clubs.

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Speaker 3: I grew up in real estate.

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Speaker 8: I grew up, you know, around home building, so I

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Speaker 8: knew that's where I was going to go. I'm very creative,

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Speaker 8: very artistic, articulate. I've always loved architecture. I've always loved that.

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Speaker 8: And then when I got off the road. In nineteen

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Speaker 8: ninety five, I went into the homebuilding business, and and.

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Speaker 4: You were successful.

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Speaker 3: I was very successful. I became the most well known

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Speaker 3: high end luxury homebuilders in the park cities in Dallas

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Speaker 3: and cross the country.

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Speaker 1: Well, at some point, though, the addiction would cross over

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Speaker 1: and affect your work, right.

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Speaker 8: Well, work was my addiction. Power was my addiction. Success

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Speaker 8: was my addiction. All these visible things, everything that I

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Speaker 8: thought that defy me was my addiction. But there was

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Speaker 8: that dark hole. I've always heard people say, there was

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Speaker 8: that dark.

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Speaker 3: Hole that I was always trying to fill inside.

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Speaker 4: Did you ever feel happy?

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Speaker 3: Never? Never?

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Speaker 6: All the things you thought would bring you happiness.

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Speaker 8: Never, there was just something something missing. I would have

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Speaker 8: moments of euphoria, right, But that true peace and comfort

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Speaker 8: and happiness is something and I still struggle with it today,

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Speaker 8: you know, But there are times where happiness, you know,

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Speaker 8: the closest to God I've ever been in my entire

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Speaker 8: life was prison.

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Speaker 1: So you ended up getting arrested, get your first mug shot,

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Speaker 1: and what was it?

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Speaker 4: Over?

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Speaker 3: So I got pulled over.

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Speaker 8: I was going at a high rates, videos intoxicated and

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Speaker 8: had a lot of cocaine in my car in my possession.

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Speaker 8: See an attic will say I had a lot of cocaine.

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Speaker 8: Somebody who's not an attic. Oh, I just didn't have

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Speaker 8: any and it wasn't mine.

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Speaker 3: But we like to glamorize it. But that was my

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Speaker 3: first charge.

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Speaker 8: And when I got taken down to a lusteric justice

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Speaker 8: center in Dallas, I went down there and I arrived

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Speaker 8: at a place I said I would never go. And

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Speaker 8: I'm like, oh, I'm forty something years old.

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Speaker 1: And You're like, this is not ever going to happen again.

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Speaker 3: Never ever, And I meant it.

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Speaker 8: And what happened after that, I got bonded out.

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Speaker 3: So I was nervous. I was anxious. I had to

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Speaker 3: knock the edge off, you know, let you out.

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Speaker 8: My dad did at the time, and we didn't even

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Speaker 8: know how to do this.

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Speaker 3: I mean, this is so foreign to us.

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Speaker 8: And so I was going through a horrible divorce at

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Speaker 8: the time.

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Speaker 3: And then went back to my apartment.

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Speaker 8: I said, I just need to knock the edge off,

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Speaker 8: got to remove the anxiety.

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Speaker 3: I could die for my alcohol detox. You know all

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Speaker 3: these games that I play in my ead, even though

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Speaker 3: you had.

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Speaker 4: Just told yourself, I will never do this again.

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Speaker 3: I'm in it.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I minute, I took one sip of alcohol and

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Speaker 8: I was drunk a high again that night. And then

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Speaker 8: twenty six month shots later, total twenty seven muck shots.

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Speaker 3: Of being on the run homeless.

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Speaker 8: I would hear these stories the guy who had everything,

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Speaker 8: you know, and then become homeless living behind the dumpster.

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Speaker 8: I was in a stolen suburban, living behind the dumpster

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Speaker 8: at the bait shop three hundred miles away.

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Speaker 10: So when you say twenty seven monck shots, I mean

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Speaker 10: you went to prison twenty seven times.

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Speaker 3: Twenty seven arrest, twenty seven arrest.

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Speaker 1: He's going to prison just a minute. Yeah, okay, so

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Speaker 1: twenty seven moug shots. And tell us about the judge

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Speaker 1: there in Dallas.

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Speaker 8: So, Judge Jennifer Bennett, who's my professional photographer.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and you know, is she still a judge?

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Speaker 8: Oh yeah, she's still wow sits behind the bench. Low judge.

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Speaker 8: We are very close friends, and you know we talk weekly.

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Speaker 8: We have our little dog and pony show, you know,

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Speaker 8: going In fact, the last time she was up for

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Speaker 8: re election, no one even.

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Speaker 3: Ran against her.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, you know, because of how our story has made

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Speaker 8: such public impact.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you go before, but you're not friends at

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Speaker 1: this point, No, we're not friends, you know.

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Speaker 3: And she was hard on me. She was very hard

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Speaker 3: on me.

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Speaker 8: And then she finally after my twenty seventh arrest, says,

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Speaker 8: you go mind somebody, and you gonna mind me. And

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Speaker 8: she had been chasing me all up and down Interstate

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Speaker 8: thirty five in Texas.

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Speaker 4: And for twenty seven pictures, for.

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Speaker 8: Twenty seven pictures because you wouldn't show up for I

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Speaker 8: wouldn't show up for core probation violations.

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Speaker 3: I was still drinking, I was still doing drugs. I

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Speaker 3: disrespected just out of cont totally disrespect it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So what did she say? What did she send

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Speaker 4: it to you?

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Speaker 8: Well, she sent it me to two years of prison,

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Speaker 8: but I had been incarcerated many times in between that,

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Speaker 8: so I out of six years, I was incarcerated for

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Speaker 8: four years.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and so but before she.

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Speaker 1: Did the two year sendate, you were actually in a

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Speaker 1: different tank.

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Speaker 3: Way, that's correct. So yeah, I was waiting for her.

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Speaker 8: Meanwhile, her dad was real sick, so she I didn't

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Speaker 8: see her for a long time. So May twenty ninth,

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Speaker 8: when I got arrested on my twenty seventh mug shot,

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Speaker 8: I had met an inmate. I got misdiagnosed. They diagnose

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Speaker 8: you when they send you into prison. They put the

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Speaker 8: child molesters in one tank, and they put the alternative

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Speaker 8: lifestyle one tank, the misdemeanors.

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Speaker 3: You get the gist, you know, Yeah, and then they put.

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Speaker 8: The murderers in one tank and the assault people. And

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Speaker 8: they put me in.

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Speaker 4: That tank and the murder tank. Yeah okay, And.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, how this happen?

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Speaker 4: I'm in it.

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Speaker 8: I'm in a two because mine we're all all just

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Speaker 8: you know, drug chargers, alcoholic charge which are bad.

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Speaker 3: It's a crime.

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Speaker 8: And so I'm in this two man tank and out

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Speaker 8: of twenty four hours they let you out, you know,

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Speaker 8: maybe two and a.

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Speaker 3: Half hours a day. Yeah.

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Speaker 8: And my Seally, which is my cellmate, my roommate, however

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Speaker 8: you want to call it, is a seventy five year

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Speaker 8: old man from oak Cliff that he back on a

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Speaker 8: bench warrant and they called.

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Speaker 3: Him oo wi and so he was my Sally.

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Speaker 8: And I was pacing around the dayroom all the time.

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Speaker 3: They called me rabbit, you know, cause you don't use

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Speaker 3: your free world name.

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Speaker 4: So they called me rabbit because you couldn't stay still.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't stay still.

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Speaker 8: I was so in my head, I was detoxing. I

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Speaker 8: had no drugs alcohol.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I was just on.

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Speaker 8: The gas now, just be pacing in the dayroom, just

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Speaker 8: doing laps.

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Speaker 3: And UI said, hey, look out, a rabbit, come here.

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Speaker 8: You're making a lot of people nervous in here, and

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Speaker 8: you're making me nervous. And he goes, if you don't

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Speaker 8: learn how to do easy time, they're going to chew

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Speaker 8: you off the bone in prison. And I'm like, were

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Speaker 8: you talking about He says, you're doing hard time. And

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Speaker 8: what he was saying was I was in my head

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Speaker 8: and I was out in that world. I was out

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Speaker 8: in that world, and these guys are teaching this educated,

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Speaker 8: very smart businessman life, you know. And what he was

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Speaker 8: telling me was and I learned that when I'm in

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Speaker 8: my head, it taught me about why I drink and

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Speaker 8: did drugs. Because when I go into the future alone

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Speaker 8: in my head, I get fearful, I get anxious. Look

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Speaker 8: at y'all not in your heads. See y'all are alcoholics,

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Speaker 8: but y'all can relate to this. So we don't like

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Speaker 8: that feeling.

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Speaker 3: What do we do? We shift the view, so we

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Speaker 3: go to the past.

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Speaker 8: So when I go to the past, I get depressed, resentful, angry.

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Speaker 3: So I'm going back and forth, back and forth, back

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Speaker 3: and forth. Meanwhile, I'm right here right now. In order

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Speaker 3: to ease the pain and suffering. What do I do

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Speaker 3: if I don't have Christ?

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Speaker 8: I start seeking visible things to try to slow this down.

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Speaker 4: So what happened with Ui?

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Speaker 3: So? Ui simply asked me to read to them.

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Speaker 8: And there was a book that was in prison that

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Speaker 8: somebody gave it to me, written by doctor Tony Evans E.

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Speaker 3: Tours. It was the story of Joseph.

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Speaker 1: But Ui, you know, somebody gave you the book and

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Speaker 1: you just.

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Speaker 4: Kind of threw it aside.

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Speaker 8: That's right, I just threw it on my bunk and

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Speaker 8: Uhi goes, oh, what is that?

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Speaker 3: I said, it's a book. They just gave it to me.

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Speaker 3: He says, well, what's this same?

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Speaker 8: Hey? Like it, says Detours. He says, well, who wrote it?

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Speaker 8: I'm like, doctor Tony, you know what I mean? And

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Speaker 8: he's like, I go here, you can have it. I'm

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Speaker 8: not going to read it, and he goes, I can't

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Speaker 8: read or write. Will you please read it to me.

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Speaker 8: I've never heard anybody say that ever. This guy's seventy

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Speaker 8: five years old. So I start reading it to him,

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Speaker 8: and it's the story of Joseph.

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Speaker 3: And I could really relate to this story.

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Speaker 8: On the betrayal in the abandonment, and people will go, man,

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Speaker 8: you have the story of Job and Joseph Michael. There's

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Speaker 8: a lot of similarities. But the difference was they had

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Speaker 8: faith in God.

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Speaker 3: I didn't. And that was the difference.

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Speaker 1: But there were scenes that were planted as you were

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Speaker 1: reading to did it affect him as well?

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Speaker 4: As?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it we were doing easy time.

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Speaker 1: So what happened as you begin to read to him?

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Speaker 1: Were there others that were interested?

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Speaker 8: So there were others that were interested that I started

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Speaker 8: taking notes and that's when they started seeing my unique handwriting.

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Speaker 3: After the show I'll write your name if you.

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Speaker 8: Want me to, and handwriting, and they started seeing my

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Speaker 8: handwriting and so your left handed, I'm left handed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: And so as I'm writing this and then I'm reading,

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Speaker 8: I asked another inmate if I could borrow his Bible

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Speaker 8: because there's these there was these things in the book

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Speaker 8: detours and said like John six fourteen, I'm like, what

390
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Speaker 8: does this mean?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: And so like and so and then he said, like John.

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Speaker 8: He's like, Yeah, who's John, Who's Matthew, Mark, Luke, Paul?

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Speaker 8: And ooh he was asking those questions. He says, Oh,

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Speaker 8: I love me some Paul. He's straight up gangster. I'm like,

396
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Speaker 8: I'm like, who's Paul. So I'm liking this Bible and

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Speaker 8: here I am, and so God has just taken this.

398
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Speaker 8: I'm in a whole different culture and God is using uneducated,

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Speaker 8: illiterate men to transform my life. To be sitting here

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Speaker 8: with y'all having this conversation. Yeah, and so as the

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Speaker 8: story progressed.

402
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 3: It it gets gooder. He is good.

403
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Speaker 8: As it progresses, I'm wanting more, okay, because now one

404
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,920
Speaker 8: thing you can't overdose on is Jesus. Yes, you can't

405
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Speaker 8: overdose on Jesus.

406
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Speaker 3: And so as I'm sitting here, I'm wanting more and

407
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 3: more and more, and I'm reading.

408
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Speaker 8: This and I'm like, I'm gonna find out who this

409
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Speaker 8: John cat is John here, and I'm borrowing this So

410
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Speaker 8: every night I would give this Bible back to this

411
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Speaker 8: inmate who let me borrow it, who I eventually bought

412
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Speaker 8: the Bible from him for eleven soups, which is eleven dollars.

413
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Speaker 3: And so as I'm reading because.

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Speaker 4: The guys were paying.

415
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Speaker 8: You, they were paying me to write letters to their

416
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Speaker 8: family members. But the rule was my boundary was they

417
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,920
Speaker 8: had to be nice letters, you know, it couldn't be

418
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Speaker 8: like running game. And so as I'm doing that, so

419
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Speaker 8: I'll never forget. So remember I was apprehended on May

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Speaker 8: twenty nine, twenty seventeen. On July seven, twenty seventeen, I

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Speaker 8: just I wake up my top bunk, and this is

422
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Speaker 8: me having these conversations with this Jesus gap. You know,

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Speaker 8: I'm like talking to him, all right, Jesus, if you're

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Speaker 8: real man, talk to me, and like, you know, make

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Speaker 8: something move, make a cup move, you know, do something.

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Speaker 1: I love that part, by the way, that someone who

427
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Speaker 1: doesn't really know how to pray the prayer, but they

428
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Speaker 1: just say, okay, Jesus, if you're there, I'm just.

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Speaker 8: Having a conversation, I mean something, just like I'm talking

430
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Speaker 8: to Y'allah. I said, you know, I don't and so

431
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Speaker 8: just all right, come into my life, you know, and

432
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Speaker 8: all these these reckless minute, these reckless prayers. Because something

433
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Speaker 8: was happening and I woke up and it wasn't medical,

434
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 8: but my chest was so tight, it was so tight,

435
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 8: and I took this deep breath in like this, and

436
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 8: I exhaled, and as I exhaled, I wasn't because I

437
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:47,640
Speaker 8: worked so much.

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Speaker 3: I was never a movie watcher. But the movie Green.

439
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 8: Mile, I did see that with Tom Hanks, and I

440
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 8: remember all the flies and all the poison come out.

441
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Speaker 8: But all I felt when I exhaled was all this anger, resentment,

442
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 8: rage and hate. Has so much of that in me,

443
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 8: just coming out of my body. I take this deep

444
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Speaker 8: breath then, I mean, just deep breath in. Every time

445
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 8: I tell the story, I get emotional depth is like

446
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Speaker 8: ice water in my body.

447
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Speaker 3: And it was so much love. I mean, I'm like, going, man,

448
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Speaker 3: I love I love that guard. I love that person.

449
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Speaker 3: I love that person. I love that person.

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Speaker 8: The diabetics were walking across at four in the morning

451
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 8: to go get their shots.

452
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 3: The inmates who were diabetic. I'm like, I love him,

453
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 3: I love him, I love him, I love him.

454
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: It was like I told you earlier, It's like liquid love,

455
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:33,639
Speaker 1: liquid love.

456
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 3: I love that. I'm a borrow that.

457
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,640
Speaker 4: Liquid love that Jesus poured into it.

458
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 8: It was and it still is, and I chase that

459
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 8: so that first drinking drug I've been my whole life

460
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 8: I've been chasing that feeling.

461
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,640
Speaker 3: Today, I chase the feeling of that liquid love.

462
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like that.

463
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 1: Okay, So then what happened after that, because there's going

464
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: to be another big thing that happens where God's working

465
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: in and through you, and more of the inmates are

466
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 1: being touched as a result.

467
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 8: They are, and as I'm reading this stuff, I'm creating

468
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 8: this content. And so I would speak to the inmates

469
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 8: at night at dinner, not preach speak.

470
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 3: And I'd say, hey, check this out, guys.

471
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 8: You know, today I realize and that's my devotional book

472
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 8: that I'm in the process of writing right now. Today

473
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 8: I realize today, I realize, you know, God is all

474
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 8: I need because He's all I have.

475
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 3: And then I'll do a devotional underneath that.

476
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 8: But it's seeing life through God's perspective today, not the

477
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 8: world of their culture.

478
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 4: See.

479
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,640
Speaker 3: God doesn't need me. I need him. And so as

480
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 3: the story goes.

481
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 8: On, you know, and I'm in this new tank three

482
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 8: hundred miles away that I.

483
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 3: Have been transferred to.

484
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 8: You know, the guy comes up to me and he says,

485
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 8: you know, what are you doing? And I said, well,

486
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 8: you can read it or write and He's like, I said, Okay,

487
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 8: I see you.

488
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 3: So I'm starting all over again in a whole new tank.

489
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: He couldn't read either. He couldn't read either, so you

490
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: start reading. We started a whole new tank.

491
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 8: There were some guys in there in that tank that

492
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 8: could read. But so people just started hanging out with me.

493
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,439
Speaker 8: It was about my handwriting for some reason.

494
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 3: That was the hook. Yeah, you know, people like the handwriting.

495
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: We got to show everybody what the handwriting looks like.

496
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: So we're going to get him to write something.

497
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 3: I'll do that, okay.

498
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 1: So then there was another really pivotal moment for you

499
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 1: that was life changing.

500
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 8: So on October twelfth, I'm studying the Book of Matthew

501
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 8: and I'm really I'd go to the back and I

502
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 8: look up like forgiveness, you know, because I wanted to

503
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 8: know about forgiveness.

504
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 3: Staff forgave, and.

505
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 8: You know, people go, Michael, you need to forgive the

506
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 8: people who had hurt you.

507
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 3: Pray for him for two weeks and it'll go away. Okay,

508
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 3: I can do that.

509
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 8: God, please give a pancreatic cancer. So they died this

510
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 8: miserable death, you know, I mean, that's the thing.

511
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: I can do that.

512
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, obviously, that's not the way to forgive. But because

513
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 8: that didn't work, it didn't hit me up in the prison.

514
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah.

515
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 8: But when I truly read Matthew six fourteen and fifteen,

516
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 8: and this is my translation, it says, when I forgive

517
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 8: the ones who have hurt me, Okay, I truly do.

518
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 8: Next verse God says, oh, bless your game, I will

519
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:16,640
Speaker 8: perform the super natural. And when I did that, and

520
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 8: how do you forgive? How did I forgive?

521
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 3: And who did you have to forgive the people who

522
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 3: had harmed me?

523
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 8: So we'll use my grandfather just to add color to

524
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 8: the story. Okay, so me forgiving my grandfather, I.

525
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 3: Had to accept the role that I played in it.

526
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 8: Wait a minute, you played a role in your grandfather

527
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 8: sexually abusing you.

528
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 3: I sure did.

529
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 8: And the role I played in it was I chose

530
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 8: to hold on to the forgiveness, the anger and the rage, unforgiveness,

531
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 8: the unforgiveness.

532
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 3: And when I did that, you held on to it.

533
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: I hold on to And when I let that go.

534
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 8: The next day they literally opened up the jail cell

535
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 8: and set me free.

536
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 4: They called over the speaker and said, what do they say?

537
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: They said, Michael molten Bunk and junk.

538
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 8: That means you get your Bonki gets your junk.

539
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 3: And they released me from.

540
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 4: Prison, and you're like telling them their mistake.

541
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,479
Speaker 3: They already know it's a mistake.

542
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: I would have just said, okay.

543
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: They already know it's a mistake.

544
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 8: I mean, I even got my paperwork there, and they

545
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 8: don't know what's going on. And they literally called the

546
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 8: State of Texas, and the State of Texas says, release him.

547
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,679
Speaker 3: He's now a liability.

548
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 8: He's not the property of the State of Texas anymore.

549
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 3: Get him out.

550
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: So you get out, and then we're running out of time.

551
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 1: The first thing the lord says to you.

552
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: Is what walk?

553
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 8: So I walked three hundred miles back to Judge Bennett's

554
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 8: court to turn myself in.

555
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 4: Takes a week to walk back.

556
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 8: And she says, I've heard what you've been doing, because

557
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 8: inmates have come to her and said this guy I've

558
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 8: been reading to him and changed his life.

559
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 3: And she says, I don't.

560
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 8: Want to get in the way, and so she forgave me,

561
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 8: and she set me free, and she goes, she.

562
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 4: Goes in, and she goes to day after you forgave.

563
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 3: I forgave.

564
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 6: I went to her and you said, I know that

565
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 6: this is a mistake.

566
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 8: No, she told me to come back and see her

567
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 8: when I got released actor my two year sentence. So

568
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 8: I showed up to go see her, like she said.

569
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: And so when you walked up and she saw you,

570
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: she had already had reports of good things.

571
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 4: You have done.

572
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she had reports that I was out.

573
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 8: And I showed up and turned myself in and she

574
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 8: set me free.

575
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 3: And here's the thing is, she says, I want you

576
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 3: to go pay it forward. And here I am eight

577
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 3: years later.

578
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: Talk to that person that's struggling with addiction right now

579
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: with the second about thirty seconds.

580
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 4: What would you say.

581
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 3: If you're struggling with addiction.

582
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 8: Here's what I challenge you to do is Number one

583
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 8: is to get completely honest. All right, you know you

584
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 8: have a problem, but simply do this.

585
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 3: Say this.

586
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 8: I don't know those three words, I don't know why

587
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 8: I'm doing the things I'm doing, and I need help.

588
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 8: Those right there is the most honest thing that you

589
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 8: can say.

590
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 3: And that way you can get help.

591
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 8: Reach out to someone in recovery that can relate to you.

592
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 8: And I challenge men work with men and women work

593
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 8: with women and ask those people say I want what

594
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 8: you got.

595
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 3: Please help me.

596
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 4: That's right.

597
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: And you know we've got a number on the screen

598
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: prayer partners that are standing by that would love to

599
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,959
Speaker 1: pray with you, encourage you. One eight hundred and three

600
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 1: two nine zero zero two nine. Well we're out of time,

601
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 1: but an amazing testimony.

602
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 4: Imature. Remember that no matter who you are.

603
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 1: Or what you've been through, or the brokenness you've experienced,

604
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: does it matter. Jesus said, come unto me, all you

605
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 1: that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give

606
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: you rest. I'll give you peace. That's what some of

607
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: you are looking for today. And Jesus is ready to

608
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: meet you right where you are. And all it takes

609
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: is this surrendered and open heart. And just like Michael said, Lord,

610
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm doing, but I need you

611
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: and just invite men just like he did say. I

612
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: think all he said was like, okay, Jesus.

613
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 4: I'm on here.

614
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: I need you, And I mean all that bad stuff

615
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 1: came out and the love of God poor in because

616
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: that stuff can't remain if the love of God is

617
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: inside of you, if Jesus is on the inside. So

618
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: just ask him, Jesus forgive me come into my heart today,

619
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: forgive me, and.

620
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 4: He will meet you right where you are.

621
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: Well, if you're watching today and you need prayer again,

622
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,160
Speaker 1: that prayer line numbers on the screen. Prayer partners, you're

623
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: standing by. If you did invite Jesus into your heart,

624
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: if you ask him to forgive you today, if you

625
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: pray the most important prayer you'll ever pray in your

626
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: whole life. We would love to send you the Book

627
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: of John and that's just a great place to start

628
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: in the Bible. And this is a new day, it's

629
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: a new journey. Some of you are sitting there and

630
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 1: you're a mess, and God's going to give you a message. Okay,

631
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: it's not too late. It's never too late, So do

632
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: not give up. Reach out to the Lord today and

633
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: allow him to touch you.

634
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 8: Well.

635
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: I do want to thank Michael for sharing a credible testimony.

636
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: For more, you can visit him online at Mtothrock dot com.

637
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: And as I always, make sure to follo us on

638
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: all social media. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full episodes,

639
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: exclusive content. Let us know how table talk is touching

640
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 1: your life, because we love hearing from you. Of course,

641
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: you can also listen to the Johnny Table Talk podcast

642
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: on all the major platforms. Thank you so much for watching.

643
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go be on the M two podcast show

644
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: up Michael. Yeah, Well, thank you ladies.

645
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 4: Did you'll enjoy that? I know you did as well,

646
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 4: and you be encouraged.

647
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: Today and it's it's never too late to begin again.

648
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 4: Jesus loves you.

649
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: Will see you next time by life for today. Well,

650
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: you know, many people fear that they would be rejected

651
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: if if anyone saw what they were really like.

652
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 4: But at his lowest.

653
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 1: Moment, today's guests discover something even more incredible. The one

654
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: who knew him the best also loved him the most.

655
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: Are we talking about, Well, guy upstairs, he loves you

656
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: today too.

657
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 4: But before we get to that, join me.

658
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: Around the table is April Simons, who has experienced the

659
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 1: love of God.

660
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 4: All of us here have in some of the darkest moments.

661
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 2: Oh and the great thing is you basically already said it.

662
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: He loves us despite of who we are and what

663
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: we've gone through because he created us as his masterpiece

664
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: and he loves us.

665
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 4: He did and we can trust him. We can totally

666
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 4: trust him.

667
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: And it can to How long have you been serving

668
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 1: the Lord now?

669
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 5: Well, I'm pretty old, so you.

670
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,239
Speaker 1: Don't look at I'm to tell you that you're the

671
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: best looking wise woman I've ever seen.

672
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 4: Day can gave you a long time.

673
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 5: We've been married sixty years, so I've probably been serving

674
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 5: the Lord about fifty.

675
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 4: Wow, that's amazing. Yes, Rachel am Brown.

676
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 1: He is faithful in the time of trouble.

677
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:56,719
Speaker 4: Oh he is.

678
00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 6: And I'm so grateful that even in our lewest mine moments,

679
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 6: that he's there reminding us who we are.

680
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 4: And when you're on.

681
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 6: The Lord's side, there's always victory no matter what you

682
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 6: go through.

683
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 1: Dorothy, this is going to be a great a great

684
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 1: program for people who may be watching today who are

685
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: just struggling with anxiety or depression or just thinking I

686
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm going to go on. There was

687
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: a point in your life you felt that way.

688
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 10: Oh, absolutely absolutely, and you when I think back, I

689
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 10: can't imagine going through anything without God's presence.

690
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 4: No, because it's hard.

691
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 10: It's hard, and it's hard believing in yourself, believing that

692
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 10: there's a greater power that can get you out of it.

693
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 10: So today's going to be a really good show because

694
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 10: there's so many people like you said, who struggle with

695
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 10: all of those things.

696
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we want you to be encouraged today. Okay,

697
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: no accident that you're watching. You're going to make it through,

698
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: and this testimony is going to encourage you.

699
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 4: Well, he's a.

700
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: Pastor and the author of God chose me, untouchable confidence

701
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: for the unstoppable Christian.

702
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 4: Please welcome char Alse Metcalf and he comes. He thought

703
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 4: just dancing.

704
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 7: Next time.

705
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: Well, the senior pastor of your Transformation church probably would

706
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: have danced in right, exactly.

707
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'll leave him to dance to him.

708
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: Well, you know, at the height of the pandemic, Pastor

709
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: Charles Metcalf found himself drowning in depression until.

710
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 4: The power of God broke through.

711
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: Charles joins us to share how everything changed when God

712
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: revealed that he wasn't just accepted, but he was chosen.

713
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: I don't think a lot of people understand that, you know,

714
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: when we choose to bring God into our life, that

715
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: he already chose us and wanted to have a relationship

716
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: with us long before we were even conceived in our

717
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: mother's womb.

718
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 9: Absolutely favorite scripture John fifteen sixteen.

719
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 3: It says you did not choose me.

720
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 9: Remember I chose you, And I think that remember portion

721
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 9: is so beautiful because sometimes we forget that, like, oh, yeah,

722
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 9: I've always been this way and it was always good

723
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 9: and everything was fine. But there's a moment we could

724
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 9: all go around the table and.

725
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 3: Remember a time where oh it.

726
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 4: Was not that way.

727
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 3: It was not always good. I didn't always have this piece.

728
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 3: I didn't always have this clarity.

729
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 9: And I think that's been the beauty of my life,

730
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 9: is just remembering like, oh, yeah, you did this, you

731
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 9: chose me, you brought me here, so you got it.

732
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

733
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: And you know, just looking at you, watching you, hearing

734
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: you talk, you would never think that you went through

735
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: what you shared in the book. So I appreciate your

736
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: transparency and doing that because a lot of things you

737
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: experienced that you talk about in the book you had

738
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: never experienced before. So it's like you didn't know how

739
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: to navigate around these things.

740
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 4: So we'll get to that, but let's go back.

741
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:39,719
Speaker 9: Ye.

742
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 4: Mom and dad, Yes, Owen Green, Kentucky.

743
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 9: Born to Michael M Michelle Metcalf. My mom and dad

744
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 9: are amazing. Dad's black, my mom's white. So that means

745
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 9: I don't speak Spanish. People walk up to.

746
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 3: Me, but I start figuring pad like that. That's not that.

747
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: So you have the way, But no, you could be

748
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 1: a com I know, yeah exactly.

749
00:32:58,760 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 3: I can do it easy.

750
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 9: But I took Spanish from sixth through twelfth grade and

751
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 9: got another to show for it, so my mom would

752
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 9: appreciate that. But yes, Michael Michelle Metcalf born and raised

753
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 9: Bowling Green, Kentucky, and absolutely loved it. I got a

754
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 9: little brother who's eight years younger than me.

755
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 3: He looks like my twin. Funny story.

756
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 9: He'll come to church sometimes and people walk up and

757
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 9: just start pouring out their hearts, and at that point

758
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 9: he's experienced enough he'll just be like, God, bless you

759
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 9: like that, so he'll take pictures with you.

760
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 3: Let me pray with Yeah, yeah exactly, y exactly.

761
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 9: But no.

762
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 3: Grew up in church, love church in Bulling Green, Kentucky.

763
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: And your dad pastor, Yes, my dad pastor today you

764
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: helped with everything.

765
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, all the things I remember if you were going

766
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 9: to be a pastor, No way.

767
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 3: After, no way, I just didn't.

768
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 9: I love the church, but I just want to do

769
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 9: other stuff. I grew up playing sports and then I

770
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 9: got really into fashion and design and I worked in

771
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 9: a newspaper doing photography, and so there was just other creative.

772
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: Things that I wanted to do but got out of

773
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: the plants. That's why I'm sitting here with you.

774
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: That's right, That's why you're talking in the world right now,

775
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: right here exactly. So talk a little bit about that

776
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: journey into actually becoming a youth pastor, because I know

777
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: it started with you working with sixth grade boys and

778
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: serving in the church, and God just multiplied that and

779
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: you had ninety kids coming in.

780
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 9: And it's funny because hearing it it sounds crazy now,

781
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 9: but living it, it was just my life. It was

782
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 9: just like, oh, yeah, we just had the we now

783
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 9: we did probably it's the testimony cow many kids came

784
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 9: then tell you how much trouble we got in, but

785
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 9: that was you know.

786
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 1: Kind of or how you got him to come with

787
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: the piece exactly.

788
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: Bribed him.

789
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 9: But no, it was just a beautiful I think my

790
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,879
Speaker 9: whole life, I've always just felt like, man, I don't

791
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 9: have much, but I have what God has given me,

792
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 9: and I have my story, and I have being honest.

793
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 9: And I think in a world that promotes a lot

794
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 9: of fake being honest is very high commodity and so

795
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 9: I think these kids and these young boys found some

796
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 9: something in just being able to say like, oh, yeah,

797
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 9: I do struggle with that, and so yeah, they just

798
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 9: our started coming.

799
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: And that was kind of my entry into ministry.

800
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: You know, one thing that you do that reminds me

801
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: of my daughter Rachel sitting right here, but when she

802
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: was little, like every homeless person we passed, we had

803
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 1: to stop or anybody outside the circle of the church

804
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: or or organized religion. You know, she she's throwing a

805
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: lifeline out to and bringing him home, and we did,

806
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: we did. And but you were kind of like that

807
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: in that you were drawn to people had who had

808
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: been hurt kind of outside the church, and you wanted

809
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: them to experience the love of God like you had

810
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 1: a passion for that early on.

811
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 9: Absolutely, it's always been that way in my life, and

812
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 9: I think my parents set that beautiful example.

813
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 3: We were always pulling in people.

814
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 9: Our church was a hose pod of people who were

815
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 9: raising church their whole life, and the people walking in

816
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 9: off the street, and so that always was a value

817
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 9: to me and.

818
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 3: Me and my wife.

819
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 9: We had people who were really close to us afar

820
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 9: from God, and I think it's such a valuable thing

821
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 9: to have in your life because sometimes you forget.

822
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 3: That, Oh this is like the whole thing is.

823
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 9: Go and make disciples and and so yeah, it's it's

824
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 9: always been a value in our lives.

825
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: And you want some and there were others that that

826
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: didn't change. Absolutely, still the lifeline out there.

827
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:00,919
Speaker 3: Absolutely, So our job is to love.

828
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 9: We can't control their decision or when they decide, but

829
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 9: it's just to be love and.

830
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 3: Let God do what he does.

831
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, yeah, when you talk

832
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 1: about the whole love thing, I mean you definitely have

833
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: to present truth.

834
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 4: And love together from the word of God.

835
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: But like when you love people and when God, when

836
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 1: people experience the love of God, it draws them closer

837
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: to Him and they want to live right and do

838
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,280
Speaker 1: the right thing.

839
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 4: Don't they.

840
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 9: Yeah, well, scripture says it's this loving kindness that draws

841
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 9: us to repentance. And so I think my job and

842
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 9: I think too, there's a narrative that like, well, if

843
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 9: you love people too much, they might start, to my.

844
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 4: Honest expert, if God forgives them too much.

845
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 9: Yeah, my honest experience is there's not droves of people

846
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 9: who are overflowing with confidence in who they are. The

847
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 9: majority of the narrative is I'm not good enough.

848
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 3: Nobody likes me, nobody loves me.

849
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 4: And that's a lie from the enemy.

850
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 9: Absolutely, And so our love for them, our encouragement to them,

851
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 9: is that life that they need, and then it opens.

852
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 3: Them up to hear what God's true.

853
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 6: I think it's not so much oftentimes what we say,

854
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 6: it's how we live. And I think when people see

855
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 6: God in you, they see something different. They want that

856
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 6: and they become curious.

857
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:07,959
Speaker 3: Exactly exactly true.

858
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,919
Speaker 1: Okay, So you went from the sixth grade boys youth

859
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: pastor to pasture Yes in Tulsa.

860
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 3: Yes in Tulsa.

861
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: Okay, so tell and you actually told your wife or no?

862
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 3: Was she she was just yeah?

863
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 4: Yekay, Abbey was there?

864
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 9: Okay?

865
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 4: How did you meet Abbey?

866
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,479
Speaker 3: Yes, Abbey Rose.

867
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 9: I met her Easter Sunday of twenty fourteen. She walked in,

868
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 9: the most beautiful girl in the world, and I was like,

869
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 9: that's the person I'm going to marry.

870
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 4: And so you didn't tell her that?

871
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:33,760
Speaker 2: No?

872
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 9: No, no, I've been super creepy. I waited, of course, did

873
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,879
Speaker 9: you already know her? Or I had known her through

874
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 9: some mutual friends, but maybe Yeah, kind of sort of

875
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 9: maybe so, but yeah, we met. We dated for a

876
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 9: year and a half, then asked her to be my wife,

877
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 9: and I was ten years later, four kids later, was

878
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,360
Speaker 9: to hear yep, four.

879
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 4: Kids later, yes, surviving. I was driving.

880
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 1: So okay, So you went from then.

881
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 4: To pastoring in Tulsa. Tell us about that first sip?

882
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 9: Oh my goodness, yes, so beautiful. Backstory of that is

883
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 9: my wife at the time.

884
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 3: She's a wedding photographer.

885
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 9: She is wildly successful, traveling to Europe Paris, Germany, shooting weddings.

886
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,760
Speaker 4: And come creativity.

887
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 3: Absolutely. Oh yeah. I was her little partner in crime.

888
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 3: So I was. I was the second guy there. I

889
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 3: was the intern.

890
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 9: But we're doing this and I come to her and

891
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 9: I say, hey, babe.

892
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 3: We are I think we're.

893
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 9: Gonna start a church, Like we're gonna do this and

894
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 9: she was like absolutely like because she had a lot

895
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 9: of people in her life that way too, and so.

896
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were super young.

897
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 9: But in our downtown we found this little venue downtown

898
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,839
Speaker 9: and I'll never get our first service that we were

899
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 9: talking about is it was actually in our apartment complex.

900
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 9: There was like a little wreck room. I told the landlord, Hey,

901
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 9: can we borrow this. We're gonna make some food for

902
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 9: like twenty thirty people and come over.

903
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, absolutely, Well, the first.

904
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 9: Night happens and one hundred and ten people show up

905
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 9: and he storms in and.

906
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 3: He's like, there's lines down the block. People are calling me.

907
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: You can never do.

908
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,399
Speaker 9: This again, and I'm like, I didn't think this many

909
00:38:59,440 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 9: people could.

910
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 11: Like he preached that first message about the Garden of

911
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 11: Eden and that our home is ultimately with God, and

912
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 11: until you return to the garden, you'll search your whole

913
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 11: life for where you originally designed to be.

914
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 4: It's amazing. So did Abby give up her career?

915
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 3: She kept going because I would make no money. So

916
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 3: she did that all the way through.

917
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 9: So she was we were shooting weddings and playing the

918
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 9: church at.

919
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 4: The same time, and so okay.

920
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 1: And then at some point the Lord began to speak

921
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 1: to you about disbanding the church, sending the people that

922
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: were there to other churches, actually giving money to other churches,

923
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: and going to work at a I guess, a bigger,

924
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 1: even bigger church there. I mean, how did that go

925
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: down with Abby when you told.

926
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 4: Her you fold the Lord?

927
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: Well, it was a while.

928
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 9: This is one of the most beautiful and bonding moments

929
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 9: in our marriage.

930
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 3: I called my wife and she was out on a trip.

931
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 9: She used to do a wedding workshop, and she had

932
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 9: done a whole weekend of that teaching p about photography,

933
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 9: and so I said, hey, babe, when you get home,

934
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 9: we need to talk.

935
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 3: And she's like, well, we need to talk about it.

936
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 9: And I'm like, it was just wait, you know, you

937
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 9: know how you get those arguments like it to be

938
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 9: just wait, like, don't tell me that. Yes, I know,

939
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 9: I didn't know, but it comes in and she sits

940
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 9: down on the bed and I genuinely just begin to

941
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 9: ball cry because I'm telling her, I know, we said

942
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 9: we start this church, we do it for a year

943
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 9: and it's working, and we both sacrificed, but I really

944
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,879
Speaker 9: feel like we're supposed to stop doing that and go

945
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 9: serve at Transmission Church. Translation Church at this time is

946
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 9: two hundred three hundred people. Pastor Mike's been the church

947
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 9: pastor for a year. It's not Transformation Church. It's just

948
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 9: another church across the city. And so she sits down

949
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 9: and right when I finished talking, she says, right when

950
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 9: I sat down, the Holy Spirit told me whatever he

951
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 9: says trust him well, and I'll start crying right now.

952
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 3: That was just one of the most beautiful moments.

953
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 9: And so she says, whatever, I trust you, And if

954
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 9: this is what you feel like we're supposed to do,

955
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 9: I'm with you.

956
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 6: Why why would you leave a church that you work

957
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 6: so hard to build, that was growing so fast?

958
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 4: Well for somebody else's dream.

959
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm just very aware of me.

960
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 9: I think sometimes we overestimate who we are without God's will.

961
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,919
Speaker 9: So some of us think like, oh, I'm talented enough

962
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 9: that if this.

963
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 3: Is what God's telling me to do.

964
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 9: But I really felt I want to do it, I

965
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 9: can go still do this and be successful. And I

966
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 9: knew the only success I've had in my life, the

967
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 9: only reason I've made it this far.

968
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 3: Is because God has guided me.

969
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 9: And I felt like Moses when he says yeah, he

970
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 9: was like, if you.

971
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 3: Don't go, I'm not going.

972
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 9: And so this was the case of like, God, if

973
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 9: you're moving, I can't stay over here.

974
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 2: Now.

975
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: If you stayed there, you know, within your own strength,

976
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: when God is saying, hey, I want you to do this,

977
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: you would have then been walking in disobedience in your

978
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: own strength and power. And who knows what would have

979
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 1: happened that you were like, okay, God, I don't understand

980
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 1: all this. So many times the Lord asked you to

981
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: do something and you're just like, are you sure about this?

982
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 6: I mean, and I think that's so hard for like

983
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 6: the younger generation to like go serve somebody else's vision,

984
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 6: like sit under someone else or submit.

985
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: Not only dad, but you went to Transformation Church and volunteered, right,

986
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 1: So it wasn't getting paid.

987
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 3: It wasn't a job.

988
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 8: Yeah.

989
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 9: This wasn't like the next month a draft to another team.

990
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 9: This was just like, hey, I'd show up and out

991
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 9: of cloudbuild, what.

992
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 3: Do you want me to do?

993
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 9: And he'd be like, okay, go to this meeting and

994
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 9: see if you can add value, serve in the group's area.

995
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 11: You know.

996
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 9: So it was but I think I think, do you

997
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 9: really know who you were at that point? No? We

998
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 9: have been friends for a couple months, So this was

999
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 9: not like a oh, clearly it's obvious somebody you know.

1000
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 9: Somebody said they were like, you know, now it's all obvious,

1001
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 9: Like it's eight years later, everything's beautiful, we're best of friends,

1002
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 9: and it's just kind of a dub moment.

1003
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 3: And I said, well, it didn't feel like dub when

1004
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 3: we did it. It felt like what are we doing?

1005
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:44,479
Speaker 3: Where are we that the what did.

1006
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 1: You bring value to? Like when did he start to see? Okay,

1007
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: who is this god Charles Smith? Is he the one

1008
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: who came up with that idea?

1009
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 9: Like? Well, no, I mean Pastor Mike is one of

1010
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 9: the most trusting, encouraging, supportive people early so funny story.

1011
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 9: I've been there for literally two weeks and he comes

1012
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 9: to me. He's like, how you preaching on Sunday? And

1013
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,399
Speaker 9: I was like, okay, cool, Like I've been like, well

1014
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,760
Speaker 9: some of my friends now she achieves staff breathe.

1015
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 3: But she was she She's like, the whole staff is

1016
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 3: like what in the world. We don't even know this guy?

1017
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 3: He could be crazy.

1018
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 9: I was crazy, but that was a separate issue. But

1019
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 9: so he was trusting very early on. She preached, and

1020
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 9: I preached on the fruits of the spirit, faithfulness like

1021
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 9: a free throw, and I preached about the reason people

1022
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 9: make free throws because they spend hours and hours doing

1023
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 9: it and many of.

1024
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 3: Us don't step out in faith and then expect to

1025
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 3: perform underpressure.

1026
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 4: How did it go?

1027
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,760
Speaker 3: I went good, as far as I'm concerned.

1028
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 1: So okay, since two weeks in. Yeah, but this is

1029
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 1: going to be how long a journey?

1030
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 4: Six months?

1031
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 9: So I'm still what are you think it is?

1032
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 4: Six months?

1033
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 9: I mean, I'm just I'm doing what I know aby,

1034
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 9: I mean the truth.

1035
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 4: Is taking pictures.

1036
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's traveling the world. I mean, my wife is

1037
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 3: a boss, so she's okay. No, the truth is.

1038
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 9: I mean, it was one hundred percent difficult. I think

1039
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,879
Speaker 9: that would be I would be remiss to say like.

1040
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, it was easy and everything made sense. There

1041
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 3: were questions or doubts.

1042
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 4: You're driving uber Yeah?

1043
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1044
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 9: Well I called him and said, hey, I'm about to.

1045
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 9: I was working at a little clothing store my friend owned,

1046
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 9: and he gave me some like sad hours just because

1047
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 9: he knew I was broke.

1048
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 3: And was like, hey, man, go open up the store

1049
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 3: for me.

1050
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 9: But I called him and said, hey man, I'm gonna

1051
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 9: have to change my work schedule. I'm about to start ubering.

1052
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 9: I got signed up, I got approve whatever. And he said, wait,

1053
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 9: don't do that. And that was on a Friday. And

1054
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 9: he called me on Monday, and this stuff for six

1055
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 9: months and he said, and I became.

1056
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 3: He brought me in.

1057
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 9: He's like, hey, I want to hire you as a

1058
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 9: creative pastor over worship and creative team and preaching and

1059
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 9: all that stuff.

1060
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 6: And so was there ever a moment in that six

1061
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 6: months period where you doubted if you had made the

1062
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 6: right decision the whole time?

1063
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 3: I completely yes.

1064
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 9: I think I think it is such a just misconception

1065
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 9: that you're not supposed to doubt, like if you have doubt,

1066
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,720
Speaker 9: that means something about him.

1067
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 4: Like the battle on the mind. This isn't real, isn't it.

1068
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 3: Well, it's just being a human.

1069
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 9: It's like I doubt what I wore today, So why

1070
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 9: would I not doubt?

1071
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

1072
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 9: I think we make it like, oh, well, if God

1073
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 9: does this, you're never supposed to doubt. And that's not

1074
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 9: what we see in scripture. It's not what we see

1075
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 9: the example of Jesus. Jesus is perfect, sits in the

1076
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 9: garden and says God, if there's any other way? And

1077
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 9: so I think I was just there by the way, yeah,

1078
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:10,439
Speaker 9: oh my gosh.

1079
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: And one of the producers with me, Delicia, she cried

1080
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: and her first time being there, and it was just

1081
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 1: to think about like it was there that he said,

1082
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: you know, if this cup can pass like he was

1083
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: just he.

1084
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 4: Knew what was coming. Jesus knew what was coming.

1085
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 1: And there's so much so that the Bible says that

1086
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 1: he sweat great drops of blood because and I always

1087
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: say there, that's a special place for me because I

1088
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 1: believe it the Garden of Gainst semony, when he sweat

1089
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 1: those drops of blood, that he would understand every emotional

1090
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: torment that we would ever go through. I think he

1091
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 1: felt it that absolutely. So, Okay, so everything's going great.

1092
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 4: What I love about your.

1093
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: Book is that number one, you're you're vulnerable and so

1094
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: you need to be sure to read it. God chose me,

1095
00:45:56,320 --> 00:46:02,919
Speaker 1: and but you you share that moment that you had

1096
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: anxiety and fear and depression because you had never really

1097
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: dealt with that before. Yeah, and so tell us about

1098
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: what led up to that and what happened and what

1099
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: were you thinking when all this was going on.

1100
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 4: Is you're in your moment?

1101
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, Well.

1102
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:22,399
Speaker 9: I think it's another it's a similar misconception. But you think, man,

1103
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 9: I'm following Jesus, I'm doing what he wants me to do.

1104
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,720
Speaker 9: I shut down my church, you know all those things,

1105
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 9: and life is still life.

1106
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 3: To know it doesn't matter who you are, which you

1107
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 3: kids through.

1108
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 9: You got kids, got a family, responsibility, job bills, all

1109
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 9: the things. And I just started to feel that pressure

1110
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 9: and that weight.

1111
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 4: And this is in twenty twenty one years were so cool.

1112
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 3: When everybody's having.

1113
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, but I think it is I just started to

1114
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 9: feel that pressure and the inside story that I believed

1115
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 9: was and I'll tell a quick story. When I was

1116
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 9: in sixth grade, played basketball captain of the team.

1117
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 3: Two seconds left on the clock.

1118
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 9: I get fouled, I missed both free throws and we

1119
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 9: lose the game at six. That planted a story in

1120
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 9: me that you're good enough to be the captain, you're

1121
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 9: good enough for the coach to draw up the play

1122
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:06,280
Speaker 9: for you.

1123
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: But you're not good enough to see it all the

1124
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:08,439
Speaker 3: way through.

1125
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 9: And that story stuck with me my whole life. I

1126
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 9: felt like, I'm going to have the moment, I'll have

1127
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 9: the opportunity, I'll be good enough to be there, but

1128
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,919
Speaker 9: I don't think I have what it takes to see

1129
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 9: it all the way through.

1130
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: And that's what I felt that that was a lie.

1131
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 3: That was the lie. It was just like and and

1132
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 3: the thing is about a lie.

1133
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 9: If you don't address it with truth, your life will

1134
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 9: start to look for.

1135
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 3: Things to back it up.

1136
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 9: And so anytime I made a mistake, anytime I failed,

1137
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 9: anytime my idea didn't.

1138
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:34,879
Speaker 3: Work, I see there you go.

1139
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 4: What do you expect?

1140
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I said, like that's you.

1141
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,879
Speaker 9: And there's the culmination of that moment.

1142
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 3: There's a moment. I'm in my office, I'm up under

1143
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 3: my desk and.

1144
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 9: I'm right there before no yeah, yeah, but I'm writing

1145
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 9: and I'm like, I can't do this.

1146
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 3: I can't I can't carry this weight. I don't know

1147
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 3: what I'm going to do.

1148
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:52,760
Speaker 4: And you're having a panic attack.

1149
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, you never had a panic attack ever before.

1150
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 3: Like I thought like, oh, what's going on? This is

1151
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,919
Speaker 3: weird and kind of tried to shake it off.

1152
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 9: But yeah, I'm depressed anxiety at a panic attack in

1153
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 9: the middle of preaching, and it's all just I mean overwhelming.

1154
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 9: If anyone's ever experienced a pan attack, you're like.

1155
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 3: Am I my Diane? What is that? Like, I don't

1156
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 3: know what's happening. Yeah, it was severe.

1157
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 9: I was shaking, I couldn't think, and so all these

1158
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 9: things just brought me to a moment I was like,

1159
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 9: I cannot do this and some thing's got to give.

1160
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 3: And it was in that.

1161
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 9: Moment that the seeds of this book began to flourish

1162
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 9: of God saying, hey, like I got you. Like the

1163
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 9: truth is there moments in life you can't do by yourself.

1164
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:29,720
Speaker 4: You can do it by yourself.

1165
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 1: So I asked you this earlier, But how did you

1166
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: come out of that darkness? Because then at one of

1167
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 1: the ways, and I think this is important. I mean,

1168
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 1: there are times in our life we need a counselor

1169
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: Christian counselor counseling is good. You said it was not

1170
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: an over, not out, no way, like you didn't go

1171
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 1: down the altar, done everything.

1172
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 3: You did my little prayer, and I was good. No,

1173
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 3: it was time. It was a process.

1174
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 9: And I think anything that is worth something is a process,

1175
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 9: whether it's the birth of you, of a child, a

1176
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 9: good home cooked meal, it takes time. In the same

1177
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 9: way it is true about becoming who you are and

1178
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 9: growing into who.

1179
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 3: God has made you to be.

1180
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 9: It took time, and so it was counseling. It was

1181
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 9: silence that was the thing I adopted of just because

1182
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 9: of anxiety. Has you spending so much waking up in

1183
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 9: the morning. I would make my little cup of coffee

1184
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 9: and then just sit there and just kind of like

1185
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 9: try to breathe.

1186
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,720
Speaker 4: And you got off social media?

1187
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 8: I did.

1188
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 3: I got completely off social media.

1189
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 4: I'm just y'all.

1190
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: You cannot be getting up in that social media every day.

1191
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 4: It'll mess with your mind.

1192
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 9: Absolutely well, and it's just not it's not real. Like

1193
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 9: I think we need to acknowledge that, like this is

1194
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 9: the whole world we accept as like we'll say stuff like, oh,

1195
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 9: you ain't really with somebody until you post on social media,

1196
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 9: but it's like this is a little square on this

1197
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:37,800
Speaker 9: little phone.

1198
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 3: It's not my actual life.

1199
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 7: So I'm curious.

1200
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,439
Speaker 6: What was Pastor Mike's response and like helping you walk

1201
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 6: through this journey.

1202
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 9: He was one hundred percent with me the whole time,

1203
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 9: grace and kindness and the balance of uh, still holding

1204
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 9: space for who I was. I think a response in

1205
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,280
Speaker 9: church often is we see someone's crack and we remove

1206
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 9: all their responsibility, and there's an approb level of that

1207
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 9: to get healthy and healing, But sometimes we don't allow

1208
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 9: people to grow.

1209
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 3: Through just life experiences.

1210
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 9: And so he balanced making sure, Hey are you.

1211
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 3: Going to your counseling, Hey are you doing your thing?

1212
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:11,280
Speaker 3: Are you being.

1213
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 9: Honest, but also, hey, I'm not gonna remove everything you

1214
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 9: have because that would reinforce.

1215
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have.

1216
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 4: What because you can.

1217
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 1: You are healed through the process of continuing to show

1218
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: up to do what God called you to do. Here's

1219
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 1: a kind of thirty second clip of kind of the

1220
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: moment where I guess Pastor Michael Todd said, Okay, there's

1221
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: the book right there where you really understood who your

1222
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 1: identity in Christ is and that he's the one who

1223
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: has to carry the weight of this stuff. You cannot,

1224
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,760
Speaker 1: we are not failed to carry it. This little thirty

1225
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,919
Speaker 1: second clip of Charles going after it right here.

1226
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 3: God chose me. God chose me. You may have hired me,

1227
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 3: but God chose me. You may have had me, but

1228
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 3: God chose me.

1229
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 9: You may have gave me some money, but God chose me.

1230
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 3: You may have lent me a little platform, but God

1231
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 3: shows me. Baby, don't get a twisted This ain't a

1232
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 3: hand out. God put me on this stage. Pastor Michael

1233
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 3: didn't put me up here. Michael Metcalf didn't put me

1234
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 3: up here. I love you, Granny, but you didn't put

1235
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 3: me up here. God sold.

1236
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 4: All right, and the table set.

1237
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: A big Amen, Amen, Anna.

1238
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 5: You know, I think it makes such a difference when

1239
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:32,319
Speaker 5: we realize that that God has a purpose for us

1240
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 5: being here.

1241
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 3: And you were learning.

1242
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 5: What your purpose was that was being developed as you

1243
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 5: went through this growth period. But doesn't it make a

1244
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 5: difference when you realize God has a reason.

1245
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:44,479
Speaker 4: For each of us being here.

1246
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 9: Absolutely, well, It's such a valuable thing in life. And

1247
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 9: you know, in our lives, we get confidence from a

1248
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 9: lot of places, from your childhood, from what you do,

1249
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 9: the money you make, who you know.

1250
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,240
Speaker 3: But the truth is all of those are on a timer.

1251
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 9: At some point you realize they cannot sustain you. But

1252
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 9: realizing God shows you is the thing that can.

1253
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:03,879
Speaker 1: You know, six of the things that you talk about,

1254
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 1: six anchors of untouchable confidence, you talk about this in

1255
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: the book. Just pick one of them and talk about

1256
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 1: it is accepted, belief, confession, chosen, known, love, be Those

1257
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: are all anchors in our faith, right absolutely.

1258
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1259
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 9: I think the one that always resonates to me is

1260
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 9: being known. And you know, I think you love someone

1261
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 9: to the knowledge that you know them, And I think

1262
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 9: for me, I've experienced that with my wife. The more

1263
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 9: I get to know her, the more I love her.

1264
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 9: And so to me, it's a crazy idea that the

1265
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 9: more God knows me, he continues to love me even more.

1266
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 9: And sometimes it feels like, if you get to know

1267
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 9: me too much, maybe you wouldn't love me because I've

1268
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 9: got some cracks. But it's actually those things that draw

1269
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 9: him to us. And I think some people feel like

1270
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 9: I'm not good enough and God if he knew. And

1271
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 9: the first thing is God already knows, so we get

1272
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 9: that out of the way. But the second thing is

1273
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 9: he knows all about that.

1274
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 1: And he feels into crags anywhere stronger once he puts

1275
00:52:58,320 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 1: the glue in there.

1276
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 4: We may look at little.

1277
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 1: You know, I have a few bumps and bruises here

1278
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 1: and there, but we're better on the other side of it.

1279
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 1: The other thing, the seven attitudes of unstoppable, faith, Ready, ridiculous, reverent, resilient, Remember,

1280
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,399
Speaker 1: relationships revealed. Of course, he goes through a lot of

1281
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: those in the book, and you have to get the

1282
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: book to read all of them. But would you just

1283
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:23,279
Speaker 1: take a moment, Charles and lead someone who's watching that

1284
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,240
Speaker 1: maybe has never invited Jesus into their heart and life.

1285
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: We can repeat after you. We just look into the

1286
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 1: camera and lead them as you feel.

1287
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 3: Lad absolutely want to take a moment and let you.

1288
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,359
Speaker 9: Know that you are first off, completely loved right where

1289
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 9: you are, how you are, and you do not have

1290
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 9: to carry the weight of your life by yourself.

1291
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 3: The Gospel messages there is a God who loves you.

1292
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 9: He's not an idea, he's not a feeling, he's not

1293
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 9: a feary.

1294
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 3: He is a person and he wants a relationship with you.

1295
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 3: And all you have to do.

1296
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 9: Is say, yes, I'm gonna lead you in this prayer,

1297
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,959
Speaker 9: and I believe that as you pray. The Bible says

1298
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 9: you believe in your heart, you confess with your mouth,

1299
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 9: you shall be saved in this moment. You will be

1300
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 9: saved all around the world. Would you pray with me

1301
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 9: right now? Just repeat after me, say, Dear God, I

1302
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 9: admit I've made mistakes.

1303
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 4: I've made mistakes.

1304
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 3: I need you, I need you, Jesus, Jesus. I give

1305
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 3: you my life. I believe you live. I believe you died.

1306
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 3: I believe he died, and you rose from me, and

1307
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 3: he rose for me. I give you everything, everything, and

1308
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,720
Speaker 3: Jesus name, I pray Jesus, I pray Amen.

1309
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:24,280
Speaker 4: Amen.

1310
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 1: It's just that simple. It's just that simple. It's a

1311
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 1: fore gift. He died on the cross for you and

1312
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: for me. He forgives our sins. He gives us a

1313
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 1: peace that passes all understanding. He said he'll never leave us,

1314
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,479
Speaker 1: I'll never forsake because he is a friend that stick

1315
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 1: with closer than a brother. And that's what he's saying

1316
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: to you today. So I'm so excited that you prayed

1317
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: that prayer. We are out of time, but I want

1318
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 1: you to remember that you don't have to strive to

1319
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 1: earn God's love.

1320
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 4: You already have it.

1321
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: Your past, your mistakes don't disqualify.

1322
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 4: You from His purpose. You have to get that.

1323
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 1: So many of you haven't walked in your God given

1324
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 1: purpose because you've made mistakes and the enemy has told

1325
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,399
Speaker 1: you that you're not good. I'm telling you it's a lie.

1326
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: Do not believe it. In fact, I think sometimes the

1327
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 1: things we go through just reveal just how powerful His

1328
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,359
Speaker 1: grace truly is, and how God will take those things

1329
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 1: that we've gone through and use those things to help

1330
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:18,280
Speaker 1: us or to help other people. Like what we've gone through,

1331
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: what we've learned through the process. So many times God

1332
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 1: takes those mistakes and he redeems them and what the

1333
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: enemy meant for evil, God uses for good and we're

1334
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 1: able to help people. So your whole perspective needs to

1335
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 1: change on that. Okay, if you're watching today, if you

1336
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 1: prayed that prayer with Charles, we have wonderful prayer partners

1337
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 1: that are standing by that would love to pray with you.

1338
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 1: We also have the Gospel of John that we want

1339
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 1: to send you. It's a great place to start in

1340
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 1: the Bible, and that's absolutely free.

1341
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 4: It's our gift to you.

1342
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: But I do want to thank Charles for joining us today.

1343
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: Be sure you pick up copy of his book Look

1344
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: How Good. We match the back drop down and it's

1345
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 1: called God Chose Me and He chose you.

1346
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 4: It's no accident that you're watching today.

1347
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: You've never watched this show today before ever, and God

1348
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 1: has spoken to you and opened up your heart because

1349
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: He loves you, because He chose you. Of course, for

1350
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,720
Speaker 1: more information, you can visit Charles online at Charles metcalf

1351
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 1: dot com and as always, make sure to follow us

1352
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: on all social media. Subscribe to her YouTube channel for

1353
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: full episodes exclusive content. Let us know how table Talk

1354
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:18,959
Speaker 1: is touched in your life. We love hearing from you. You

1355
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: can also listen to the Joni Table Talk podcast avaiable

1356
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: now on the major platforms.

1357
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 4: But thank you so much for watch.

1358
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm really excited about this next chapter of your life.

1359
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:31,720
Speaker 1: Some of you are going to see some supernatural doors open.

1360
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 1: Some of you are going to get into counseling and

1361
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: get God's going to heal your heart from some things

1362
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: that happened a long, long time ago. And that's how

1363
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 1: much the Lord loves you. Well, thank you, ladies, Thank you, Charles.

1364
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 1: Next time you got to bring that beautiful wife with you, Well,

1365
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:47,359
Speaker 1: I want to hear her story.

1366
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,320
Speaker 4: She can take pictures of everybody.

1367
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, we'll see you next time.

1368
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 4: God bless you. Continue to call if you need her today.

1369
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 4: By by for today