Speaker 1: Hey, it's Bob getting here for the Bachelor and of
Speaker 1: course a co host of almost famous to OG's. And
Speaker 1: I'm Jason Meslik.
Speaker 2: I was a batchler a long, long time ago, and
Speaker 2: I'm your real estate agent here in Seattle.
Speaker 1: That's right, And this is I do Part two, a
Speaker 1: podcast all about finding left the second time around. Now
Speaker 1: we are going to pop some questions. All right, are
Speaker 1: you ready? Let's go? All right, Jason, here we go.
Speaker 1: First question, if you sleep with a woman on the
Speaker 1: first date, are you thinking about her now for a
Speaker 1: long term relationship? You know, I would.
Speaker 2: I think the world's so different now. I think if
Speaker 2: I didn't, it'd be a super double standard.
Speaker 1: Oh, agreed, I totally agree with that. And sometimes love
Speaker 1: at first sight actually exists, right, all right, here we go.
Speaker 1: Do men get turned off if a woman double text,
Speaker 1: you know, like sends another message before you even had
Speaker 1: a chance to answer the first one.
Speaker 2: It depends on how long of a break is. Like
Speaker 2: if she text like, you know, and the next text
Speaker 2: is an hour later, probably not. But if it's like
Speaker 2: every two or three minutes, might get a little creepy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little much, right, a little much? Just let
Speaker 1: me answer it. Let me get it done here on
Speaker 1: a date. Should a woman offer to pay? Sure? Why not?
Speaker 2: I mean, like I think the world's different. Now, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that you'd let her pay, but like, if
Speaker 2: she wants to offer, that's a nice thing, nice gesture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually agree. My my wife would always be like,
Speaker 1: you know, reaching for her wallet. I'm like, oh, come on,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna pay, and she's like no, but I
Speaker 1: at least want you to think I'm trying. And I'm
Speaker 1: like okay, And I loved that, Like I thought it
Speaker 1: was really really small when you.
Speaker 2: Listen to the Bob here, like sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh, here's a good question, and this is good. This
Speaker 1: could be another double standard kind of question. Do guys
Speaker 1: care about a woman's body count? Do you know what
Speaker 1: that means? Like a woman's number, magic number? Do guys
Speaker 1: care about that?
Speaker 2: I don't think, Like, I mean, unless you're Wilt Chamberlain,
Speaker 2: and like it's like ten thousand or something like that.
Speaker 2: You know, I who knows who Wilt Chamberlain is. But
Speaker 2: like otherwise, if it's a reasonable, reasonable number, I don't think, right, Well, I.
Speaker 1: Think too that could be an age appropriate thing too, right,
Speaker 1: Like if someone's twenty two and they've got, you know,
Speaker 1: a considerable amount racked up there. And then someone who's
Speaker 1: you know, forty or fifty or whatever you know, and
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, maybe it doesn't matter who knows.
Speaker 1: Just not ten thousand. I'm just gonna say ten thousand.
Speaker 1: Keep it below ten thousand, and there shouldn't be any
Speaker 1: conversation about it, right. Is ghosting ever acceptable? And have
Speaker 1: you ever ghosted?
Speaker 2: I don't think it's acceptable. I mean I may have
Speaker 2: done it, but like, here's what's happening now. So my
Speaker 2: son's at the dating age, he's in college, and a
Speaker 2: girl he was dating last year started ghosting him a
Speaker 2: little bit and seeing how he reacted to it, it
Speaker 2: pissed me off, right, meaning like, just don't you can
Speaker 2: just say, hey, things aren't going well, I'm moving on,
Speaker 2: whatever it might be. I don't think, like, come on,
Speaker 2: you don't need a ghost anybody that's not cool.
Speaker 1: Just be a gentleman, right, I mean, from the standpoint
Speaker 1: of a guy, I don't know what you'd say to
Speaker 1: a to a woman a one, but I agree to
Speaker 1: a lady, yeah, I would. I would literally say if
Speaker 1: it was my son to Granny's only so he's not
Speaker 1: he's not ghosting yet, thank god, but yeah, when he
Speaker 1: gets older, I think I would say, like, come on, dude,
Speaker 1: just be a gentleman, you know whatever. She might not
Speaker 1: be that into you. You never know. Oh have I ever ghosted?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 1: I have not. This is not my style. I would
Speaker 1: never ghost. I think what I would do is I
Speaker 1: would do what Jason. I would do what you're saying, Jason.
Speaker 1: I would be like, hey, this just isn't working out,
Speaker 1: you know. But I will say back in the day
Speaker 1: when I when I dated a lot, I would often
Speaker 1: make it so that they wanted to break up with me.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would just be like, you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with this guy? No, but it's true. Like
Speaker 1: I would always try to like not be as like
Speaker 1: if I were if I was just kind of over
Speaker 1: a relationship, I wouldn't be as responsive, but I would
Speaker 1: still be responsive. But I wouldn't be like, Hey, what's
Speaker 1: going on. I'd love to see you today. I'd be
Speaker 1: more like, you know, oh, hey Debbie, Yeah, what's up.
Speaker 1: How you been you know, sorry, can't get together today
Speaker 1: or whatever? You know. I wouldn't be as uh as
Speaker 1: as I guess available is the best way to put it.
Speaker 1: Two questions specifically, Jason, I know you went through this one,
Speaker 1: so this is a good one. How soon would you
Speaker 1: introduce a woman that you're dating to your kids, right,
Speaker 1: so we could go to your past life, right to
Speaker 1: your first stage of your life.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I would actually say in the first stage,
Speaker 2: I had done it too soon.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: There are times where, like I thought mentally I was ready,
Speaker 2: right even though I was not ready. So again, like
Speaker 2: I think it's some of that comes with maturity when
Speaker 2: back then, you know, in my early this is my
Speaker 2: late twenties, I thought I was mature, and there were
Speaker 2: times where I did introduce somebody to my son way
Speaker 2: too soon, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But if again, if you're on a TV show, like
Speaker 2: you're gonna do it right away because that's interest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're rolling that out hot. Now, what if your
Speaker 1: kids don't like a woman that you're dating, are you
Speaker 1: basically like, Okay, we're not doing this, this is over.
Speaker 1: I don't. That's a really tough one.
Speaker 2: And I've talked to like friends, family members about this.
Speaker 2: I know that, Like even me, my mom brought in
Speaker 2: my stepdad when we were teenagers, who moved in really
Speaker 2: really quick.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like we didn't like him.
Speaker 2: We didn't even know it, right, right, But I think
Speaker 2: it's just being caught like and I'm not saying yes
Speaker 2: or no, right, but like if somebody is abusive, that's
Speaker 2: one thing, even if verbally abusive, right, I'm physically abusive,
Speaker 2: but knowing that, like, give it.
Speaker 1: A shot before you jump in deep, that's all I'd say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I have jumped in really quick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it never works out right, backfires on you. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know that's kind of to that end. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, that's like what you and Molly did. I
Speaker 1: think that's so great you stayed in your life. I
Speaker 1: mean I got the same Chris Harrison advice. And I
Speaker 1: love telling people to this day. You know, I'll be
Speaker 1: hosting something now and they'll go, you know, so is
Speaker 1: this all you do? I'm like, no, I never quit
Speaker 1: my day job. Man. I still do the same thing
Speaker 1: I've always done. It's just this is kind of the
Speaker 1: fun side thing I get to do, you know, on
Speaker 1: the weekends or whatever. But yeah, you know, and that
Speaker 1: was great Harrison advice. I think your advice might kind
Speaker 1: of be right there with it. And they should listen
Speaker 1: to what you're talking about, because I think that's huge.
Speaker 1: What's one thing that all women need know if they
Speaker 1: want to have a success dating a divorce man?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Be patient?
Speaker 2: I think, well, be patient and then ask yourself if
Speaker 2: this is really what you want because it could be
Speaker 2: a challenged right. I look about what my stepdad went
Speaker 2: through with us, and I look what Molly went through.
Speaker 2: MOLLI was like, oh, it's ezy. Like I looked at
Speaker 2: Jason's awesome and tie super cute. But I think the
Speaker 2: real part of this of like how is he gonna
Speaker 2: look at me? What's the relationship going to be?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: I think you really this is and only you know that,
Speaker 2: Like if you don't love, if you never wanted to
Speaker 2: have kids and you know that, what's it like, what
Speaker 2: is it going to be like if you're dating somebody
Speaker 2: with a little kid or I can't.
Speaker 1: Just ask because all of a sudden it's it's turnkey family, right.
Speaker 1: You gotta be on you and you got and you got.
Speaker 2: To also like be attentive to it, like you've got
Speaker 2: to really care about them. Like I know Ty has
Speaker 2: got a stepdad for my ex wife, and he is
Speaker 2: a great stepdad, like we get along awesome and making
Speaker 2: sure that's something you really want, but only you truly
Speaker 2: truly know that.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I agree, I agree with that. I think
Speaker 1: one of the pieces of advice I would give when
Speaker 1: dating a divorce guy, because I was a divorce guy
Speaker 1: without kids from my previous relationship, was and this is
Speaker 1: a terrible thing to say, because I do think it's
Speaker 1: a little double standardish, but getting too comfortable too fast? Yeah, right, So, like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's almost got to be an accident that
Speaker 1: you'll leave something over at the house the first time, Right,
Speaker 1: it can't be that you put your stuff in a
Speaker 1: drawer and be like, you know, it's almost gotta be
Speaker 1: like whoa I mean, because everything to a divorced guy,
Speaker 1: whether they wanted to be the divorce person or not,
Speaker 1: you know, whether they wanted to not stand that previous
Speaker 1: relationship or not, is they don't want to make the
Speaker 1: same mistakes over again. So it's going to be cautious
Speaker 1: optimism at best.
Speaker 2: Well I would even say, like, be conscious and I
Speaker 2: did this, how much does it affect the kids? Right?
Speaker 2: And like there was a girl I remember brought around.
Speaker 2: She was awesome and even though it didn't work out.
Speaker 2: After it ended, he started asking like where did she go?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, and he was.
Speaker 2: So little, Ty was so little that he didn't have
Speaker 2: any idea like who she was, why she was around.
Speaker 2: But just be conscious that, like your decisions really impact
Speaker 2: everybody around you.
Speaker 1: God so true. All right, Now we're going to get
Speaker 1: into a little bit more of you know, some a
Speaker 1: little more CD stuff. So what is the biggest red
Speaker 1: flag that you think women ignore when they're dating? What's
Speaker 1: the biggest red flag? Yeah, like, what's something that they
Speaker 1: see from a guy? And like if you're on the app?
Speaker 1: Because I actually know what I'm gonna say to this one, Okay,
Speaker 1: and I've seen it and I and I know it.
Speaker 1: So let me go first. I'll go first and let
Speaker 1: you think of this, okay. All right, So when a
Speaker 1: dude just is radio silent for long periods of time
Speaker 1: and then it's very shady about where they've been, right,
Speaker 1: Like to me, I was always pretty much an open book,
Speaker 1: like you know, like it's always still canyon. I would say,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't ever want anything I'm doing or
Speaker 1: saying when you're not around to you know, like make
Speaker 1: you look like you're the joke or you're the butt
Speaker 1: of the joke. You know. So here's here's what I do,
Speaker 1: Here's where i'm at, Here's what I'm at. Even if
Speaker 1: it was something that I knew she might not like,
Speaker 1: but it's just like, I'm doing this with boys to
Speaker 1: night whatever. It was like this, this brutal honesty to
Speaker 1: a certain degree that I felt like, man, when we
Speaker 1: were still together, you know, three years later, I was like, geez,
Speaker 1: she really actually loves me, you know, because I wasn't
Speaker 1: exactly I was like, I'm going with my guys to
Speaker 1: do this, and it was brazen at times, you know,
Speaker 1: but at least she knew where I was. And I
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes people make excuses for people there dating
Speaker 1: who all of a sudden will be like, you know,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I went out my buddies last night. Oh
Speaker 1: is that why I never heard from me from seven
Speaker 1: o'clock until today two in the afternoon, rise day. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like, come on, man, if
Speaker 1: you got a certain rapport going with someone, then you know,
Speaker 1: anything out of that has to be a little bit
Speaker 1: of a red.
Speaker 2: Flag, right again, like if they want you around, Like
Speaker 2: I think the biggest red flag I guess to me
Speaker 2: would be like if they're only calling you late at night, right,
Speaker 2: So like again, like if they really care and they
Speaker 2: want you around, they want you around other times than
Speaker 2: those those moments exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they want you around those times too, but
Speaker 1: they actually want to do like other stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I actually think one of the coolest things and I
Speaker 1: and I definitely saw this with with my wife was
Speaker 1: when I would do stuff with the guys and I
Speaker 1: would actually like want her to be there. It wasn't
Speaker 1: I didn't feel that need to have this like guy time.
Speaker 1: You know. It was more like, why don't you join us,
Speaker 1: We're going to watch the game, you know whatever. And
Speaker 1: you know, did she have the choice whether she wanted
Speaker 1: to come or not, you know, but it was like
Speaker 1: I always wanted her to feel that inclusiveness. And you know,
Speaker 1: she's often told me that that was one of the
Speaker 1: things that she loved about our early relationship. Oh this
Speaker 1: is a good one. Why do guys send unsolicited dick pics?
Speaker 1: And why so quickly? I think that's a new thing
Speaker 1: because I can tell you honestly, I have never sent
Speaker 1: a tick pick.
Speaker 2: I have never either, like I don't like and again
Speaker 2: like this might be a maybe it's because we still
Speaker 2: have phones that don't drow pictures. Got a really good point.
Speaker 2: You can't take a picture of the landline. I've tried,
Speaker 2: I don't know like it. And again like maybe this
Speaker 2: is like, you know, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest.
Speaker 2: None of that stuff would ever fly.
Speaker 1: Right right same, I just and I just wouldn't do it,
Speaker 1: Like part of me was always like you know, And
Speaker 1: I guess maybe it's because I you know, I mean, gosh,
Speaker 1: I was thirty two when I went on The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: and even then I remember I was I mean that
Speaker 1: was two thousand and five or four, late two thousand
Speaker 1: and three. Oh my god, when I was the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: and uh so, I mean, cell phones weren't that good.
Speaker 1: Defines weren't there yet. Huh. We didn't have a lot
Speaker 1: of funds yet. And I mean I may have even
Speaker 1: had a flip phone during my Bachelor run. I'm not
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly, but I do remember thinking to
Speaker 1: myself when people were I was already you know, I
Speaker 1: got married after the Bachelor, then divorced, then three years
Speaker 1: later met Canyon, and by that point I was kind
Speaker 1: of you know, well known, and so I wasn't sending
Speaker 1: Dick pics at that point, that's for sure. So I
Speaker 1: kind of missed the window of opportunity had I had
Speaker 1: that been something I wanted to do.
Speaker 2: You know, it blows my mind because I, like I personally,
Speaker 2: I've never even asked my friends about this, but you
Speaker 2: see it in the media right where like a technical
Speaker 2: figure has done something like that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the heck is going on in their
Speaker 1: brain to do that? Right? Honestly, Like, don't you know
Speaker 1: that they can send that picture to like forty other
Speaker 1: people go hey, this is bills, you know whatever. It's like,
Speaker 1: That's how I think of it. Yeah, all right, and
Speaker 1: I got one more. This is gonna be the last
Speaker 1: question that we have during our speed round, which probably
Speaker 1: hasn't been as speedy as the producers would have liked
Speaker 1: because we're talking so much. But this is what happens
Speaker 1: when you get two guys who actually like each other
Speaker 1: on a call together who haven't seen each other a while,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to go back in the annals
Speaker 1: for this one, back in the dating annuals. Got it?
Speaker 1: I'm back, all right? Is sexting ever a good idea
Speaker 1: and when and when not would you do it sexting?
Speaker 1: That's good, that's a good question.
Speaker 2: Again, Like I'm going back to, like I'm married to
Speaker 2: somebody from the Midwest, and this stuff doesn't that's not something, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: But like if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, right, right,
Speaker 2: somebody that you trust, like you trust, right, it's beyond
Speaker 2: having kids, right, It's like there may be a place
Speaker 2: for something that is.
Speaker 1: Unique.
Speaker 2: But I will say, in my personal opinion, like things
Speaker 2: on your cell phone are always findable, right, right. I
Speaker 2: remember that, and I can't remember it was it Jennifer
Speaker 2: Anderson or somebody, some celebrity, like all these pictures came
Speaker 2: out and she thought.
Speaker 1: They were private. Just remember that.
Speaker 2: I think about what I'm telling my son right now,
Speaker 2: about what you should post or not post on Instagram
Speaker 2: or whatnote the internet, your phone.
Speaker 1: It freaking lives forever, absolutely, dude. I think about it
Speaker 1: all the time. I tell my nephew that he's twenty
Speaker 1: five now, and I was like, dude, just you know,
Speaker 1: watch what you write out there, because you know I
Speaker 1: get it. In the heat of the moment, you feel
Speaker 1: this way. But six months from now, it's probably not
Speaker 1: that big of a deal now that's going to follow
Speaker 1: you around, so just you know, wow, I think about
Speaker 1: it at the time, man, I really do so. I
Speaker 1: kind of keep my stuff to a very lighthearted, you know,
Speaker 1: level set medium at all times.
Speaker 2: There's cute winky face emojis for a reason.
Speaker 1: That is so true. Well, dude, I love it, man,
Speaker 1: I love catching up with you. Thanks for doing the
Speaker 1: rapid fire question with maybe that I do part two.
Speaker 1: I think I'm so glad when they called me and
Speaker 1: said that they were going to have you on it
Speaker 1: with me, and I was very excited about that and
Speaker 1: great to get to meet Gary on the first the
Speaker 1: first stuff pot of the show and for us to
Speaker 1: get to catch up with all of this. I mean,
Speaker 1: anything you learned from my answers today, because I learned
Speaker 1: a lot from yours, well, I mean.
Speaker 2: I think you know what really took me to is
Speaker 2: just like talking to people that are like, even though
Speaker 2: you're a couple of years older than me in my
Speaker 2: in our age group, but Gary, like Gary's in a
Speaker 2: different sit stage in life. He's retired, he's looking for
Speaker 2: the word. He kept on using his companionship, and I
Speaker 2: think if even the younger people that are listening or
Speaker 2: watching right now about that word, like, what does that mean?
Speaker 2: He didn't say anything about attraction or we'll jumping on it,
Speaker 2: jumping jumping somebody's bones or to somebody something like that.
Speaker 1: You talk about it. I think he's looking for a partner. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: And I think that's interesting because I think we all are.
Speaker 1: It's just that, you know, when we're in our younger years,
Speaker 1: we we don't really realize that that's going to be
Speaker 1: the thing that makes us so happy in the end,
Speaker 1: is that person that you know, hopefully we grow old
Speaker 1: with and we you know, we have these experiences with
Speaker 1: to share and we look back and it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's all puppy dogs and rainbows, right, but we all
Speaker 1: know that's not always all puppy dogs and rainbows. But yeah,
Speaker 1: when you have a five year old, there's no right now,
Speaker 1: there's no puppy dog in there. It doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: ever be a light at the end of the tunnel
Speaker 1: or a potogold at the end of the rainbow. But
Speaker 1: I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I swear well,
Speaker 1: thanks again, buddy, And hey, guys, if you're listening and
Speaker 1: you're ready to get back out there. But you want
Speaker 1: some dating advice or you're ready to find love. We
Speaker 1: want to hear from you, so call us. We have
Speaker 1: a voicemail with your questions. Our number is one eight
Speaker 1: four four four I Do Pod. That's eight four four
Speaker 1: four four three six seven sixty three. Of course, email
Speaker 1: us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com, or follow
Speaker 1: us on the Gram at I Do Part two pod.
Speaker 1: I Do Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling
Speaker 1: in love is the main objective.