1 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramas and this is the Street 2 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: Stowick Podcast, bringing you your daily dose of timeless stoke 3 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: philosophy remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that 4 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: in mind, let's get things started with your daily shot 5 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: of inspiration. Now today we are going to be talking 6 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 1: about the idea of forgiveness. Right. It's an incredibly difficult 7 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: yet necessary part of our evolution and it's something that 8 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: I can attest to the fact that it's completely changed 9 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: my life, being able to have forgiveness for those you 10 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: know who are around me and for me. A lyric 11 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: that came to mind comes from Saint John on the 12 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: song Sucks to Be You right, and he says, moved uptown, Kira, 13 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: you gave me a place to stay. Mama kicked me 14 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: out back then she did it ungraciously, came home to 15 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: all the locks changed on New Year's Eve. I'm glad 16 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: we're doing better. We're both okay. So in this record, 17 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: obviously Saint John is talking about a pretty complicated moment 18 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: that he had with his mother, right, but at the 19 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: end of it talking about how he's glad that they're 20 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: both doing better and that they're both okay. That's forgiveness 21 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, right, and specifically, many 22 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: of us have complicated relationships with our loved ones, be 23 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: it our parents, our siblings, you know, our guardians, whatever 24 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: it might be. You know, imperfect people raising other human beings. 25 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: It's it's a recipe for mistakes to happen, and it's 26 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: a part of life. And I'm not a parent, but 27 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: I can see from Afar that it's just a part 28 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: of parenthood. We're all just out here doing our best, right, 29 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: but you have to have that recognition in order to 30 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: forgive right the idea we're all doing our best. And Seneca, 31 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: you know, has a great quote on this, pulling it 32 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: to one of the stoics. He says, let's be kind 33 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: to one another. We are just wicked people living among 34 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 1: wicked people. Only one thing can give us peace, and 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: that's a pact of mutual leniency. Again, what he's saying 36 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: here is we're all just doing our best. Like life 37 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: is fucking hard, right, Like there's no way around that. 38 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: We're all dealing with shit. We're all dealing with, you know, 39 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 1: generations of trauma that has been left unresolved. Most of us, 40 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: if not all of us, need some sort of therapy 41 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: at some point in our lives, right to help us 42 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 1: work through this stuff, you know. So it's inevitable that 43 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: we're going to have moments in our lives that we're 44 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: not proud of, or moments that create tension for those 45 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: that we love in our lives, and your parents are 46 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: are not above that. I know that it's very easy 47 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: to kind of put our parents on this pedestal when 48 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: we're younger and thinking that they just sort of know everything, right, 49 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 1: But the reality is they were just trying to figure 50 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: things out as they went along, just like any one 51 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: of us. You know. Of course, they had their life 52 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: experience up to a certain degree, but they weren't prepared 53 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: for everything, you know, and many of them weren't taught 54 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: to heal, right. They were taught to bottle things up. 55 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 1: They were taught that it was normal to walk around 56 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: hard bring certain feelings for their parents, or certain habits 57 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: that they've picked up from their parents that now play 58 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: out into their adult lives, and they were taught to 59 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: not even bother working through these things, right, to ignore them. 60 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: So it's again inevitable that they're going to pass down 61 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: certain things to us that are less than pleasant, right, 62 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: And we all have complicated relationships with our parents out 63 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: of badger, right, I know, I know, I do. And 64 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: it took a while for us to get to the 65 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: place that we're at now, you know. But for me, 66 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: it was a lot of healing. It was a lot 67 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: of reflecting on the way that my parents grew up, right, 68 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: and the struggles that they went through, and then putting 69 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:15,839 Speaker 1: myself in their shoes and reflecting on why they made 70 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: the decisions that they did, you know, really humanizing them, 71 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: right and instead of just sort of arbitrarily just having 72 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: this hate or anger for them, recognizing that they're flawed humans. 73 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: They were doing their best, but they're flawed humans with 74 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: their own shit. And we had to have conversations about that, 75 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,600 Speaker 1: you know, and I had to be able to express 76 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: things that they did or didn't do that made me 77 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: feel a certain way or has resulted in certain setbacks 78 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: in my adulthood. Right. But beyond that that conversation, you know, 79 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: when we were able to be really honest with each other, 80 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: when I had a literal sit down with my parents 81 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: and just sort of expressed to them the work that 82 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 1: I had been doing on myself, you know, it humanized 83 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: all of us, and I can honestly say that, like 84 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: my parents relationship, you know, with myself over these last 85 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: like two years or so, is the best that it's 86 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: ever been, you know, Like literally, I love being around 87 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: my parents. I see my parents at least once a week. 88 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: I talked to my mom on the phone every single day, 89 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, Like that work in in me healing and 90 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: then forgiving has has, you know, given us so many 91 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 1: precious moments that I will never take for granted, right, 92 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: because life is short at the end of the day, 93 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: and I would hate to have lived a life where 94 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: I never truly got to experience, you know, a close 95 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 1: relationship with my parents, or or even just one where 96 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: you know, I was just holding onto these feelings of 97 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: resentment towards them, right, And again, the work is not easy, 98 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: but that forgiveness has really just taken all of this 99 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 1: weight off of my shoulders. And I can't express to 100 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: you enough how much that has changed my life. And 101 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: it's something that I would recommend, you know, anybody listening 102 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: to this to kind of reflect upon. And again, all 103 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,679 Speaker 1: of our situations are different. I'm speaking generally and speaking 104 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: mostly to my own situation, but you know, it's just 105 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: something to keep in mind. I think that that anger, 106 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: that resentment that we hold towards certain people, you know, 107 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: I think it weighs far heavier on us in our 108 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: everyday lives than we even realize, you know, And we 109 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: need to find healthy ways of letting go of that. 110 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: And I think forgiveness is oftentimes the key to kind of, 111 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: you know, giving ourselves a break from this burden that 112 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: we've been carrying around. Now, with that said, we've been 113 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: hearing from Saint John, We've heard a quote from one 114 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: of the Stoics, Seneca. I've given you some insight into 115 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: my own life around this idea of forgiveness. Now let's 116 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,360 Speaker 1: talk about how you can make it your monstra for today. 117 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: But first let's take a quick break and then we'll 118 00:06:55,839 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: be right back. All right, So we have heard the 119 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: words of Saint John, you have heard from one of 120 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: the Stokes. I've given you my own insights, you know, 121 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: around this idea of forgiveness. Now let's talk about how 122 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: you can make it your mantra for today. Now, I 123 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: want to put a disclaimer out there, because, of course, 124 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: like I said, we all have really complicated lives, complicated relationships, 125 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: And I'm not telling you to go out there and 126 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: just like blindly forgive everyone and ignore all of their 127 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: terrible behavior and just kind of like keep taking it 128 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: on the chin. Right, I'm not telling you to go 129 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: out and do that. Obviously that's not healthy for you. 130 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: Boundaries are important, you know. What I'm sort of talking 131 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: about here is acknowledging that hurt, but also acknowledging the 132 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: human on the other side of it. And not all 133 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: relationships are meant to be healed, right, But when I 134 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: talk about forgiveness, it's more for you than it is 135 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: for anyone else. Right, Like, you can forgive from Afar. 136 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: You don't have to go and spend weekends at their 137 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: house or talk on the phone every day, But you 138 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: can forgive from Afar just from the simple acknowledgment that 139 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: they were flawed human beings who were trying their best 140 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: doing what made sense to them at that particular time. 141 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: And again, it doesn't mean that you forget. Again, everybody's 142 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: situation is different. But forgiveness is for you, right, you 143 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: recognizing that it had nothing to do with you, the 144 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: things that were being done to you, the things that 145 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: hurt you, the habits that you picked up from them. 146 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 1: The habits that they had, They were the reflection of 147 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: you not being lovable, you not being good enough as 148 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: a child. There are a reflection of hurt people, of 149 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: imperfect human beings who are just reacting to their own 150 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: upbringing and the hands that life dealt them. And to me, 151 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: that should allow some sort of burden to be taken 152 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 1: off your shoulder, and that forgiveness lies at the heart 153 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: of that. Right. You walking around with this anger that 154 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 1: just eats away at you on a regular basis. It's 155 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: just like a disease that's festering inside of you, and 156 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: you're never truly going to find real happiness until you can, 157 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: you know, create a healthy way of letting go of 158 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,719 Speaker 1: that anger. That's all that I'm speaking about today, right 159 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: and to kind of recap what we're talking about, you know, 160 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: Saint John talks about this complicated relationship that he had 161 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: with his mom, and he talks about how he's appreciative 162 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: of the fact that they're doing better and that they're 163 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: both Okay, we don't know the whole story if they 164 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: are best friends now or if they are sort of 165 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: just acquaintances at this point, but either way, that that 166 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: last line kind of allows us to see that that 167 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: he's sort of let go of the anger behind that situation, 168 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: right And this quote from Seneca, you know, I love 169 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: how he's talking about how we're all just like flawed 170 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: people in a flawed world, and that right there should 171 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: bring us some peace, you know, when we're talking about 172 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: you know, those who have done harm to us, and 173 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: and that we sort of again have to just realize 174 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: this is a flawed person making mistakes, and you know, 175 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: how you have a relationship with them is again up 176 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: to you, but you have to have a level of 177 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: empathy for the fact that, just like you, they're trying 178 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: to figure it all out right now, right And I 179 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: think for me in my story, if you do have 180 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: the opportunity, you know, to repair that relationship with your 181 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: parents or to become closer you know, if your situation 182 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: isn't beyond the point of repair, do it. I can 183 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: promise you that you know it's worth the hard work, 184 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: the awkward conversations. It's it's worth it because on the 185 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: other side of that, you are are giving yourself more 186 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: time with people that hopefully you truly love and truly 187 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: love yourself in a world where you know time is limited, 188 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: and if you're able to, and again, if it's a 189 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: healthy situation, you want to take advance of being able 190 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: to spend as much time with them as possible. And again, 191 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, the center of all 192 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: that we're talking about forgiveness, It is more for you 193 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: than it is for anyone else. Whatever anger that is 194 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: burning inside of you, for remember that that is that 195 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: disease that is festering. And whatever forgiveness looks like for you, 196 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: make it happen somehow, someway. You have to do the work. Now. 197 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,679 Speaker 1: With that said, thank you so much for checking out 198 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: the Street Stoke Podcast. Do your best to apply these 199 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: concepts that we've discussed today, Incia everyday life, and I'll 200 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: catch you next time. The Street Stoke Podcast is a 201 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: production of Ihearts Michael Blura Podcast Network.