WEBVTT - Discussing No Holes Barred w/ Passport Cutty 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.760 Welcome to decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.040 decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:09.400 You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast. 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:15.480 You want to say together, decisions decisions. I am passport cutting. 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:18.680 I am an author like Coach and. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:30.000 Missing Ones. Huh talka former hope and before us. 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:33.400 Okay, we gonna get into that author we ever had 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:40.080 on the podcast podcaster. 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:47.440 In you and everybody. I don't even only was on 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:52.519 my notes. Okay, some of you might remember me from 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:54.040 one of their first episodes. 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:56.800 It was them interviewing me about my first book, that 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.680 m and Manas for Money. So that's why I'm so 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.840 to be here to be talking to them about their 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:11.360 first book, No Holds barn is a dual manifesto of 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:17.520 such exploration and power, and I had the luxury and 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:23.800 the privilege of reading it twice already. Then if you are, 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:28.039 if you've been listening for a long long time. We 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:32.280 had another episode we did that was we talked about 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:33.040 something that super time. 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:34.280 But we're gonna get into that later. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:39.520 But this dynamic duo they did something super disruptive. They 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:46.520 built community, They built safety, exploration, identity fun and. 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:51.760 For me a bubble educated. So I love these ladies. 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:57.160 The book has a lot of layers. It's very sexy 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:00.360 but smart, and it's very wild. 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:04.720 But why Okay, so we are gonna get I'm just 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:05.200 taking it. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.280 Why why? 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:07.760 Why? 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:13.480 Sexy but smart? 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.840 Okay, So I'm gonna tell you guys what I love 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:21.800 about the book personally, right, So I usually love memoirs 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:23.840 and self help. I used to read all the rodicts, 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.680 so but this is all of them in one. So 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:31.919 it really is a pleasure to like get a dose 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:36.160 of everything all at once. And I'm just so I 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:39.160 was more surprised by the education part of it because 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:41.400 there was still stuff that I did not know, and 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:45.160 I was looking it up on Google right like words 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:47.600 and you guys did a good job at explaining a 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:49.160 lot of things that you thought that people weren't going 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:52.440 to know. But there was still something I didn't know. Abrosexual. 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.560 So it's called hey bro ay go sexual. 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:58.639 So so what's crazy about that one is we ended. 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:03.720 Up even talking about that in an episode. I just 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:07.160 think all of the labels that go onto our sexualities, 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:09.440 like anyone kild like say. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:10.880 Oh, maybe you're not that maybe you're not that. 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:13.560 What I've noticed is, though, specifically for me, from when 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.920 I first started having sex with sixteen years old all 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:18.680 the way to now is that there's been ebbs and 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.520 flows of what I've been into and it's changed. 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:23.079 Y'all are the name for that now? 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:27.359 A sexual is the ability to kind of be fluid 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:30.239 with so sorry, fluid with your sexual identity. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:34.000 So the the privilege. 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:35.880 Now to be able to change and be like, no, 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:37.520 I know I was this way at one point. It 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:41.200 doesn't define me now. Saw that word, thought it was 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:46.440 phenomenal and threw it off. Another one was compersion, which 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.120 you do you do? People so tired of hearing me 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:53.080 say that it is my favorite word, and it's so compersion. 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:55.640 If y'all listen to the show clap if you know 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:56.280 the word. 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:05.720 Then we out dick sucking story. Confersion means that you're 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.600 taking pleasure and someone else receiving pleasure, so much like 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:13.000 a cuk hoole the cook queen, someone that just enjoys 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:14.920 knowing that their partner is also enjoying. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:15.560 And a lot of. 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:18.719 Times in non monogamy you actually have to really practice 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.640 conversion knowing that someone is having fun by having an 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:24.679 experience that's outside of you. And so I'm not saying 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:28.360 I'm one hundred percent good at confersion, but there eighty. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.800 I also didn't know what M D M A was MD? 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.159 Is that a drug? I'm telling you all this man 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.320 stuff like that, I still don't know. 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.480 I'm not gonna hold you as a New York girl. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.760 Half of the stories I like to be like, I 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:49.720 was high some of this. 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:54.200 It's actually a lot didn't hit that hard. 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:59.880 Yeah, so well that look, the proof is that those 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:01.920 words that suck out to me, you're gonna stick out 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:05.520 to you as well. All Right, So it's vulnerable, it's personal, 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:09.000 it's transparent, it's funny, and it has a lot of personality. 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.000 And I'm gonna be honest with you. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.240 You have to read it, but you also have to 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.200 listen to me, Like you can't just do one, because 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:18.640 I did both, right, So you. 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.160 Had time to listen to it, yea ten hours? 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:21.520 I know. 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:23.440 I was at the cool old day. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:30.680 No, I waked up at five am, you do. I 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.040 had from five am all the way till I got 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.960 here too, Okay, But also in the book, I was 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.919 reading a school yesterday again, and when you when you 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.920 were writing, okay, can I can I ask you someone 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.400 who's listened to it, because I'm surprised we have someone 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.919 who has just your thoughts on kind of while reading 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.440 it and hearing it the emotion that was conveyed. Because 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.240 for me and if y'all are patrons, I've talked about it, 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:57.880 Recording this book was the hardest thing I've done professionally. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.320 She tried to warm me. I was like, bit y'all 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.280 talked for a little long time. 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.760 Listen, did y'all record the audio book? And she was like, no, 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:07.839 we're about to do that in like two days or something. 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:09.599 I said, I'm just want to know right now. She 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.680 warned me, you don't feel like you don't. 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.839 Know how to read. I didn't know how to talk. 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.159 I didn't know how to read. There was there was 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:17.239 there were. 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:20.400 There were chapters that were so easy to write. And 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.120 then when I was speaking there a bitch got choked. Well, 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:24.839 you can't choke up. 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:27.520 I can't read. So like it was like the emotion 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:28.760 that she still wanted it. 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.279 But I'm like, oh, ship, like the chapter like my 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:34.400 abortion chapter was I wrote that in like a day, 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:36.520 Like that was I knew I wanted to share that 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:40.720 story with everything happening, and before writing it, I had 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:41.479 a therapy session. 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.760 I interviewed my mom, I interviewed my friend Peter whop 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:47.000 me pay well. I wanted to say, though the audio 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:48.080 version of it, we don't. 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.480 I didn't I talk about this before the audio version 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.960 of that chapter, which was my easiest. A bitch broke 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.240 broke down in the in the recording version of it. 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.440 So I don't know if you were you able to 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:00.520 were you, I would. 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.120 Have hear it all that you can. You can hear. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:08.520 The personality and emotions behind all of the top, like 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:12.240 sometimes super exciting, you know, like it's easy. 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.200 They'll they'll they'll know. 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.440 This book because the most uncomfortable thing to read was 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.040 not a sault, nothing like that. It was this sentence 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:26.920 in front of I would say he was maybe mid 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.160 fifties Latino, dude. I'm recording this audio book in LA 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.000 and there's a glass wall with the person saying no, 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.000 go ahead, weezy and just you know, stick with the 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:35.760 same cadence. 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:37.320 And I remember it because I was like, you're gonna 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.800 take him a while because it's in the session. 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:44.200 Oh girl, you're engineering my ultimate fantasy had always been 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:45.640 getting fucked while eating. 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:55.800 Pussy looking at me on they're not telling y'all. He 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.600 really sat there and he goes, this is it's really 0:07:58.600 --> 0:07:59.040 gonna touch. 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:06.880 It's when you get this industry like nothing is surprises 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:09.720 people sometimes like they've heard it all, like in music, 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.280 but especially engineers, they. 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:17.520 Like not Miguel that man said, whoa hear from? Like man? Yeah? 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.239 Like right yeah. And so just to describe the setting, 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.200 we were in rappers going there. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.600 Music people go in there to do advertisements like things 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:29.320 like that, like commercials and voiceovers. So to have someone 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:31.120 just sit there with you and hear ten hours of 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.320 your book, it was interesting. And also tell you can't 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.280 read yes, yeah, yeah, I. 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.840 Got so many words wrong. Yeah I read the word 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:38.559 two twelve. 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:44.080 He was like you have to also I wrote words 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:45.280 and I was like, how you say this? 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:49.480 Yeah, now that's what I need to tell when when 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:50.040 it got to. 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:57.280 I was like naevity, like when I was recording mind. 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:59.320 Yes, So you know our co author shout out to 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:03.240 Texas egg here on Tempest is Bright. 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:06.560 She really like took our books to another level by 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:10.400 helping this add like depth and dimensions to this book 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:12.760 and one of the words that I can read use 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:14.800 my brain got stuck that I can tell tenthist with 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.439 jammed in the homogens and I say hold. 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:24.760 On Jesus and yeah, okay. 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:28.120 So two things that popped out for me in this 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:32.120 book that I feel like were major themes for you 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:36.640 guys individually separate were for you, Mandy, it was shame, 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:42.240 and then for you it was jealousy. And I want 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:46.079 to know, like for me, I felt like those are 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.800 two themes that a lot of people don't admit. 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:51.040 But that's the part of self help, you. 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:54.520 Know, like when you are trying to really like get 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:57.360 to know yourself and change things about yourself, you gotta 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.840 admit things that are uncomfortable. So I want to know, 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:04.079 at what point did you guys feel like you could 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:04.760 admit like. 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:08.440 Oh shit, I'm jealous when I see him with her 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.840 or her with him, or you know, like when did 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.559 jealousy beat something that you were able to own? 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.520 And for you the shame you were like the shame 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.520 of you know, my friends judging me if I wanted 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:23.840 to leave with the guy or if I wanted you know, 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.600 like I was on a date and like I felt 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.679 excited about it, but you know, like I didn't want 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:31.520 anybody else to like judge me about it, So you 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:33.040 guys can answer respect me. 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:35.040 I'll start with jealousy. 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:36.960 You know, for anyone to listen to this show, whether 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.680 you're a monogamous or not a monogamous, the constant conversation 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:42.479 you have with yourself is jealousy. I've been in relationships 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.480 where my partner dated no one else and I was 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.480 jealous of the misdeader to work with. So I think 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.960 that jealousy is something you can be able to face. Yeah, 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.320 when it can be accepted. Because here's the thing. I 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:56.840 just had this conversation with my partner recently where I said, 0:10:57.160 --> 0:10:59.199 sometimes I get scared to tell you if I'm jealous 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:01.360 because I don't want you to say this isn't for us. 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:03.160 I need to just be able to get it out. 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:06.600 You said, I'll be jealous of my best friend's mama. 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:08.840 Ever want his mama? 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:10.960 Like that's how much I love this. 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.760 I have two best friends right now, and I'm gonna 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:15.600 tell you right now. Brianda had to give me a warning, 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.440 don't get upset. I'm gonna be hanging out with some 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:21.160 of a woman. One of my best friends andre if 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:26.719 he has another homegirl, just that whatever. 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:29.839 Were you ever? Did you ever deny that part about 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.800 you yourself? Or did you always? Because you know what 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:33.160 we've done? 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:37.560 And jealousy as weakness. If you are a jealous person, 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:39.479 you're weak and you're insecure. 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:41.360 Whatever. If I don't say this. 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:43.920 Out loud, then it just sits there and throws into 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.680 your resentment. So I think that the first step in 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:48.320 how can someone be able to help you? 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:51.200 Because now that my partner knows like a philography, what 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:51.840 does he do now? 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:56.480 Affirmation, reaffirming our relationship, you have to say these things, 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.640 and so I think just admitting the jealousy with confidence 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.040 is what you better do. Somenoy. It was so break 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.640 think like of you to put that, because most people 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:09.200 deny it and you cannot help. You can't self help, 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.719 You can't ask your therapist for tools or anything if 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:15.480 you don't admit that you have these feelings deep down inside. 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.720 So I love that you talk about and you openly 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:21.040 say like, I'm just I wanted to make sure that 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:22.199 she wasn't gonna enjoy him. 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:25.719 Her was more than better than reason. He hasn't it 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:37.760 better than you? So me, let me tell you timing matters. 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:43.200 Had this book came out a year or two ago, 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.400 I wouldn't be able to stay here and like it, 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.160 because I would have gagged over to the. 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.080 Soulmate Nigga that I thought I was with, like he had. 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.240 So many he had so many parts of this book 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.240 in our proposal because I was like, I found in love, 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.920 I found my and I would I would have hated 0:12:57.920 --> 0:12:59.880 that this book came out and I, you. 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.600 Know, immortalized him in that way. 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.880 And so for me, when we had the opportunity of 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.760 the book come to us, I have just gotten into 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.319 therapy and so during the pandemic, I had a lot 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.480 more time to sit with myself. And when it came 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:16.880 to this book, we really wanted to lean into the 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.240 iroonica and I was fine with that, but I was like, bitch, 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:21.959 I there's a lot of shit out and did and 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:23.959 said on this podcast that I hate with my like, 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:27.560 I hate it, and I know that there's like a 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:32.680 con complation. That's the word conflate. You could conflate being liberated. 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:44.680 Florida education, y'all known. But when you talk. 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:47.719 About being liberated, which is what this platform, which is 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:48.600 what Horrible. 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.440 Decisions was based upon a lot of times they don't. 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:56.160 Allow us as liberated, free women to admit our faults, 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:59.560 to to actually admit the shame and decisions that we 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.760 made a past that we've grown from. A lot of 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:04.079 people just want to keep us in whatever bubble they 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.679 want us to stay in, And for me, I was like, bro, 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:07.720 I ain't even gonna hold you. 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.600 There's no way I'm writing this book. 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:13.600 Telling women to have sex for this amount of money 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:16.079 and view men in this way because I've now been 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.360 able to experience viewing men in such a beautiful way 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.200 and experiencing intimacy and ways that I didn't in the 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.560 beginning that I was like, bro, like, I'm not going 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.360 to tell the younger generation or women in my age 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:28.840 to think the way that I thought when we first 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:29.520 started this show. 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:31.320 And there was just a lot. 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:34.600 Of trauma that I was overcoming and ways in which 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:36.480 I thought, like, there's a whole chapter about me being 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:38.640 a side chick, and I think, well, they like me 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.600 more than they white cuz they telling the truth to me, 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:45.560 and that the rhetoric was so dumb. And so I'm 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.400 literally in the book realizing a bit you ain't have 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.800 no self worth. Ah, but you actually thought that you 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:53.040 couldn't be a priority to a man, which is why 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:54.920 you fell by the wayside. There was a lot of 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.680 reflection that had to happen, and to me, this book 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.560 wouldn't exist without me being able to share that part 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.840 of my journey. And luckily we got to a point 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.960 where we knew we were writing two different stories. Weeze 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.040 isnt a place where two THI bitch this meet and 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.200 I'm like, well, this is me and I really want 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:14.000 to be able to include the parts of me that 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:16.320 regret a lot of decisions that I made. 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:17.080 We will read a. 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:20.440 Lot of those chapters and think, and there's gonna be 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:24.800 someone because God forbid you sexually liberated and can have growth. 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.480 You better not be a bitch that was out there 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.680 having a good time fucking. And now you're gonna tell 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.400 us you're credited. Well, hold on, I can't have one 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.440 moment in my life. Oh no, there's a lot. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.160 I got good, two, three, But yeah, So that to me, 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.160 like this book, it was important. 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.000 And our team over at Simon and Schuster too, Once 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.560 they started reading our stories, They're like, well, the readers 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:49.480 are reading your stories. 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:50.400 But because we were so. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.280 Adamant on making sure that people could pick up this book, 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.040 whether they were fans of horrible decisions, decisions decisions or not. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.080 They were like, well, what would you tell your reader then? 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:01.160 And so we I literally had a lot of calls 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.400 with our publisher about well what. 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:04.400 Can you give your reader? 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.760 Like readers like to take something away and yes they're 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:08.880 hearing your stories, Well what can you give them? So 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:12.000 we went back and really tried to tell you guys, well, 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.480 had I done this, maybe I would have gotten a 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.040 better results. So hopefully you do this, or here's a 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.840 way to shoot your shot. And there's just different parts 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.880 of self help in there that help you guys make 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:22.880 better decisions than us. 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.040 Yes, it's very informational education. 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:34.600 Let speaking of. 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:38.320 Shame, I have a story to share. So I remember 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:39.720 earlier when I said about one of. 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:44.720 The episodes, yep, it was actually episode one sixteen period. 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:47.720 She been here a long time, hundreds now. 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.680 So for myself, as someone who made a name for 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:58.520 myself on the Internet being raunchy, vulgar, uh table like 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.160 talk about taboo topics, they took such stuff to a 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:08.520 whole another leven. I'm vanilla compared to everybody goes. I 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:13.240 was wild for talking about and he's and all that stuff, 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:15.520 but when they came out, y'all made me feel like, 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:17.400 oh again. 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:25.560 You're one of my favorite stories of all. And before this, 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:30.680 I was like, I don't know anything that you guys 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.840 are talking about, Like I was so green. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.440 Compared to like the stories that were being shared on 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.720 the question a y feud. 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:40.160 Don't mind how old you guys? 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:45.240 Oh, by the way, y'all just heard us on the 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:46.840 Breakfast Club this morning and puld. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:51.720 Out not sure why waunch you guess because I'm scared. 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:58.960 I gotta thirty four BULI. Yeah, okay, So. 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:04.639 Back in twenty nineteen, I went to India and I 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:05.359 want to go get him. 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:06.840 I'm not gonna tell the whole story. I'm just gonna 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:07.880 tell what happened. 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.919 So I went to India. 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:13.520 I went to go get a massage. 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:16.880 I swear to god, I really thought I was going 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:23.679 for massage. I'm not like, I really was going for massage. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:28.480 And it ended with a happy ending right now, Okay. 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:36.840 I was so excited that just happened to me because. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.160 For me, it was like a story to tell, right, 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:42.800 did I want the person who did it to me? 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:48.080 To do it to me, But I had a story 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.320 to tell, like this is a life story that's like 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.840 fire to me, right. But I was in India with 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:56.639 a friend who was in the other room and she 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:00.560 was propositioned with the same situation and she was hortified. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:03.560 So she when we left out the room, she's like, 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:04.679 oh my god, tell. 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:11.560 And so because she was so mortified, I was too 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.560 embarrassed to tell her that I got it done. So 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:18.400 I was like, let's go, you know, but I couldn't 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:21.480 wait to stay home and tell me didn't read it. 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.160 And the thing about it is is that that goes 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:28.320 to show you the safe space, right, like you know 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.080 your time, you know where you could go, no judgment. 0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:33.280 And I told everybody, all of my father when I 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:33.760 was like, you want to. 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:35.680 Hear the story, you go listen to this show, right, 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:37.960 because we were like you live. 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:42.800 Because I could have told the story on my life 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.439 or on you know, my page or whatever. I was like, no, 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:49.439 I'm going to tell that and I'll never forget because 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:53.800 you asked me a question on that episode said she said, 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:54.720 what you look like? 0:19:54.760 --> 0:20:00.920 I said, God, damn it, he wasn't kissed. I said, 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:04.000 I was gonna leave that part out. I was like, 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:09.399 or not, but I was thinking Indian marriage. 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:15.160 Listen, y'all want to go back LANDI was not figuring 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:15.600 her with. 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.680 Didn't listen to it. But the point that God, can 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:23.440 I rap your pussy ma'am? Yes? 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:28.840 Yes, that validation guys in any way, to know that 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:35.520 people feel like they can only share their like intimate 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.840 deep and dark and secrets because of you and with you. 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.120 I mean, I think if if y'all go back. There 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:43.959 was a moment in time and I hated that I 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.359 like maybe called this on me. I called myself like 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:51.760 the bullhole whisperer. At one point, every guy that was 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:54.240 in my phone wanted they butt like they wanted to 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:55.000 be bad. 0:20:55.200 --> 0:21:00.239 Was opening up about like like literally, but we were 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:04.159 also like sharing with me all of these fantasies or 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:08.000 experiences or things that they had actually done sexually with. 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.879 Either trans women or other men and all of these things. 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:15.560 And I started being like, Yo, I hate that I'm 0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:18.480