1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow Your Mind, a production of 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: I Heart Radios How Stuff Works. Hey you, welcome to 3 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: Stuff to Blow your Mind. My name is Robert Lamb, 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: and I'm Joe McCormick, and hey, Robert jam band trivia 5 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: for you. Do you know where the name of the 6 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: Grateful Dead comes from? Oh? Man, you know, I'm not 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: a huge dead head. I really love that that track 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: Dark Star, But yeah, I I never really gave it 9 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: a lot of thought. I know they have the like 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: a sort of a mascot of like this medieval looking 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,279 Speaker 1: skeleton with the hair and and all, and it's it's 12 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: a cool name, but I actually never gave it a 13 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: lot of thought. I didn't know until just recently I 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: found out the answer. The name of the band comes 15 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: from when a member I think it was Jerry Garcia, 16 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,959 Speaker 1: it might have been another member. Somebody found in an 17 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: encyclopedia an entry for a thing that was that was 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: already an existing phrase called the Grateful Dead. So what 19 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: is that? Well, it turns out that the Grateful Dead 20 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: is an archetypal folk tale motif that appears in lots 21 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: of cultures around the world, usually not as a story 22 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: on its own, but as like a piece of a story, 23 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: a sort of like scene in a story that shows 24 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: up in tons of different folk tale cycles. According to 25 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: the late Great American folklore scholar Stith Thompson, versions of 26 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: this tailor found especially in European and Asian lore, though 27 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: I think you might find it elsewhere too. But to 28 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: read from Thompson's description quote, in all these tales, we 29 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: learn of a hero who finds that creditors are refusing 30 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: to permit the burial of a corpse until the dead 31 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: man's debts have been paid. The hero spends his last 32 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: penny to ransom the dead man's body and to secure 33 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: his burial. Later, in the course of his adventures, the 34 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: hero is joined by a mysterious stranger who agrees to 35 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: help him in all his endeavors. The stranger is the 36 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: grateful dead Man. The only condition which the dead man 37 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: makes when he agrees to help the hero is that 38 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: all winnings which the latter makes shall be equally divided. 39 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: In all the stories, the hero eventually wins a wife, 40 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: and the helper demands his half. Usually, the dead man 41 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: interferes in time to prevent the actual cutting. In two 42 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: of the woman, so multiple strange elements there. Number one, 43 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: of course, it reminds me of the like King Solomon 44 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: and the Baby story, but it also reminds me of 45 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: other I mean, I think it's extremely common to have 46 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: what would you call this dynamic folk tale motifs where 47 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: someone is asked to make a promise about what they 48 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: will do with some kind of future reward or something, 49 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: but then the reward they receive is not compatible with 50 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 1: the promise they made. I think of the examples in 51 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: like Sir Gawain and the Green Night, where uh the 52 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: Sir Gawain in some versions of the story, I think 53 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: Sir Gawain stays with the host, who they say each 54 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: day they will they will share what they have one 55 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: in the day with the other one. So the one guy, 56 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: the host, goes out hunting and he comes back and 57 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: he shares like the boar that he caught with Sir Gawain. 58 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: But Sir Gawain instead receives a kiss from the man's wife, 59 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: and so to share it he has to kiss the man. 60 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: But of course, the final element here is that it's 61 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: ultimately a story about a kindness being repaid. It's a 62 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: story about gratitude from a ghost that somebody does a 63 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: kindness that he could not possibly expect to be repaid, 64 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: and yet in some strange and supernatural fashion, he ends 65 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: up surprised because his kindness is repaid against everything you 66 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: would expect. And in this we get into the topic 67 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: of gratitude of of thankfulness, which of course seems an 68 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: obvious thing to tackle on Thanksgiving. Uh, And that's one 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: of the reasons we chose it. But also it is 70 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: it is an important topic. It is an important part 71 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: of the human experience and human culture, and so there's 72 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: actually a lot here to unpack. Absolutely. I mean, I 73 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: would say this is not the only folk tale motif 74 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: to heavily involved gratitude. Gratitude shows up all throughout full stories. Uh. 75 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: Like the ungrateful receiver is a big archetype, somebody who 76 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: is ungrateful for what has been done for them, and they, 77 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: you know, are punished or learn a lesson. And the 78 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: other side is, yes, somehow seeing gratefulness turning out for 79 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: the best, You do somebody a favor and then you 80 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: are repaid and their gratitude, Uh, is it unveils like 81 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: secret benefits that you couldn't have expected. Yes, Sometimes the 82 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: stranger that you are favorable to turns out to be 83 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: a divine being of some sort. Uh. There are also 84 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: tons of tales in which if if one is punished 85 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: or rewarded for either uh you know, not respecting elders 86 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: or respecting elders, being rewarded for the respect. So yeah, 87 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: this is the gratitude is an important part of of 88 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: global myth making and then just continuing early a part 89 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: of our storytelling. So let's come back to American Thanksgiving though, 90 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: because um, all of this isn't necessarily obvious as we 91 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: go through, uh just our day to day experience of 92 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving here in America, because it can often feel like 93 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: a very complicated holiday. For instance, let me just roll 94 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: through a few of the several reasons to hate on Thanksgiving, 95 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: and I'm I am guilty of some of these, if 96 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: not all. You've clearly got to love hate relationship because 97 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: you you keep wanting to talk about Thanksgiving even though 98 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: you hate it. Yeah, well, I mean I have I 99 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: feel like if I am resistant to something like Thanksgiving, 100 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: then I should probably explore how I feel about it more, 101 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: you know, and also perhaps feel explore the things that 102 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: I feel good about. So, on one hand, thanksgiving us 103 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 1: what you get when Halloween is over? Bummer, Yeah, it's 104 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: it's all that transition away from ghosts and ghouls and 105 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: Dracula's and Frankenstein's and uh, you know, and the other 106 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,919 Speaker 1: properly named literary figures that we refer to in the 107 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: general sense, and then suddenly it's just pilgrims and turkeys 108 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: and whatnot. Not everybody to your monster freaks like us. 109 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: Though true, true, some may see it as a relief. Now. 110 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: Another thing is that, as is often pointed out in comedy, 111 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: it is a you know, it's a post election obligation 112 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: to hang out with family members who you may very 113 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: well not see eye to eye on when it comes 114 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: to politics. Can make things a little awkward, uh you know, 115 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: and if you're lucky, it can make things awkward. Of course, 116 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: can be worse than that. Also, it is a feast, 117 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: and while feasts are a major part of seasonal celebrations 118 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: around the world, it can feel a bit excessive in 119 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: the modern age. It can bring up mixed feelings about, say, 120 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,799 Speaker 1: the amount of food that you are consuming and perhaps 121 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: the amount of food waste you might be producing. Also, 122 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: if you've lost loved ones of individuals are missing from 123 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 1: the proceedings for various reasons, you know, living or dead, 124 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: or if you yourself cannot be part of such celebrations 125 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: with family for a variety of reasons. The holiday can 126 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: be bitter, sweet, or downright depressing. Uh And and in 127 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 1: this it's like other holidays. This is absolutly true. And 128 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: I think this this contributed to the widely circulated but 129 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:10,239 Speaker 1: false fact that suicide skyrocket around uh, Thanksgiving and Christmas. 130 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: We looked into that on an episode one time and 131 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: found that it was not in fact true, that they 132 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: were not highest around the winter months. I think they 133 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: were actually highest somewhere in the spring. Yeah, yeah, I 134 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: remember that. Another thing about Thanksgiving in America is that 135 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: the Pilgrim and Native American aspects of the holidays, trappings 136 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: and sometimes decorations which many of us grew up with, 137 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: they can feel rather off putting. The more you realize 138 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: about the exploitation of First Nations people and or the 139 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: religious views of the Pilgrims one of those the more 140 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: you know, the more uh you know at least awkward 141 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: it can feel. And then, of course the Thanksgiving parade 142 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: is not quite as fun as it seemed when you 143 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: were seven, it never seemed fun. You never got into 144 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: that at all. No, I like big balloons, but the 145 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: parade aspect seemed it seemed over long and tedious. Yeah yeah, yeah, 146 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: I guess so. But I was down for just watching 147 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: any television at that age. So okay, Now, I didn't 148 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: mean to rain on your your parade, literally no, no. 149 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: Because now I don't watch it nowadays, I'm really not 150 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: even tempted to. But when I was a child, at 151 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: one point, it was big fun. On the positive side, though, 152 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: depending on your own personal experience in situation, perhaps you 153 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: can attest to finding some or all of the following 154 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: aspects of American Thanksgiving fulfilling. First of all, American football. 155 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: It's not my thing, but I know a lot of 156 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: people love it, and Thanksgiving is a time to watch 157 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: it obsessively. Somebody's thing, now something it is my thing. 158 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: The Mystery Science Theater, three thousand Turkey Day Marathon. Hey 159 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: now we're cooking? Yeah, that that was and still is 160 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: one of my favorites. It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving unless 161 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: I'm watching some sort of a rift movie. Generally it's 162 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,199 Speaker 1: Jack Frost. That's a really good one. That's the one 163 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: with the like the Russian fairy tale and I guess yeah, 164 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: and they're they're actually some perhaps some examples of gratitude 165 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: playing into the the traditional folk tale alls that are 166 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 1: brought to cinematic life in that film. Oh yeah, early 167 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,319 Speaker 1: on then the story isn't Jack or not Jack? The 168 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 1: boy in the story, he's he's quite ungrateful. I'm titled right, yeah, 169 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: And then he's taught a lesson by father mushroom. Let's 170 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: see other other things. Perhaps they're positive aspects of family gatherings. 171 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: A family gathering is a family gathering, um, and it 172 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 1: can be quite joyful. There's nostalgia wound up in the 173 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: practice as well. Of course, also, perhaps you really do 174 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: enjoy the food. I mean, people are gonna vary on 175 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving food, but get a little jab in there for 176 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: people who hate food. Well, no, I don't hate food, 177 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: but Thanksgiving dishes are usually not my absolute favorite dishes. Oh, 178 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: I see the style of Thanksgiving food as traditionally prepared. Yet, 179 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: but some people that might be your thing, and if so, 180 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: you know, go for it. You know, I am firmly 181 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: of the opinion that people should not feel compelled to 182 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: eat certain foods because it is a certain holiday. If 183 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: it's the fourth of July and you're hanging out by 184 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: the water, but you don't want to eat burgers and 185 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: hot dogs and barbecue, don't eat burgers. How do you 186 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: eat whatever you want to eat on Thanksgiving? I am 187 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: I strongly believe people should have kim che centric feasts 188 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: and and really that's that gets to my next point 189 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 1: is that you may look forward to Thanksgiving because you've 190 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: created your own ritual. You have created something new, something fresh, 191 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: that you share with family and or friends, that that 192 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: means something more to you than some of these more 193 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 1: you know, traditional tropes of the season. But I think 194 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 1: that the vast majority of us, wherever you fall in 195 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: on these various points, you can probably agree on one thing. Surely, 196 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 1: thankfulness itself. Gratitude itself is a useful exercise. Well, I mean, 197 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people might agree on that 198 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: in principle, but then not really agree on it in practice. Well. Yes, 199 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: so it's one thing to think it one thing to 200 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: another to act on it. Uh, you know, the the 201 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: act or even thought of being thankful though for what 202 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: you have in life, no matter how small, no matter 203 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 1: how cruel fate may seem at times, there is I 204 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,439 Speaker 1: think generally an idea that this is good, this is beneficial, 205 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: and if somebody is arguing something contrary to that, they're 206 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: probably doing it to get a rise out of you. 207 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: With you know, some exceptions, I'm sure. So we're actually 208 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: going to be talking about gratitude and thankfulness today, right. 209 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: I was thinking about how okay this subject might at 210 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: first glance, seemed kind of quaint compared to like the 211 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: grotesque evolutionary realities and strange frontiers of understanding that we 212 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: often like to explore on the show. But I think 213 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: this kind of research, by which I mean investigation of 214 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: like fundamental positive emotional states, is extremely important. It's actually 215 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 1: highly relevant as a scientific frontier because whatever you may 216 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: think you know, or whatever you think is obvious about 217 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,599 Speaker 1: how to live a good life, just look at the 218 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: ways we actually live and in practice humans are clearly 219 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: not in agreement about how to live a good life, 220 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: and like, what are the correct emotional states to seek 221 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: and how to seek them? In practice, we don't always 222 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: have reliable ways of orienting our mental and emotional lives 223 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: to the maximum benefit of ourselves and others. So I 224 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: think this kind of thing, the study of positive emotions 225 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: and positive social interactions, is actually a crucial socially relevant 226 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: psychological frontier and a workshop for the tools for a 227 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: better life. Absolutely, I would agree. And another thing I 228 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: think is that it's important to look at the science 229 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: about on subjects like this, because I would say, this 230 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: kind of stuff is usually the domain of things like 231 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: religion and common sense, you know, positive interactions and positive emotions, 232 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: and that's all well and good to deal with it 233 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: and in a religious way or just kind of deal 234 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: with it at a you know, gut feeling way, but 235 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: it's worth bringing a critical scientific lens to figure out 236 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: what's actually going on with these emotions, what are their 237 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 1: biological roots, Uh, what are the best ways to trigger 238 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,679 Speaker 1: and sustain, like, how do they fit into our lives, 239 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: and how can we drive them to the benefit of humanity. Yeah, 240 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: and and hopefully all of this will be just a 241 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: good exercise for everyone in general, because I know from 242 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: from personal experience it's entirely possible to go through an 243 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: entire Thanksgiving holiday without actually engaging in the experience of 244 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 1: gratitude and thoughts or acts of gratitude. So maybe this 245 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: will force all of us to to rethink what gratitude 246 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: is and why we seemingly have a holiday that's all 247 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: about reminding us to be thankful, even if we don't 248 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: always actually act on that. So first of all, let's 249 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: just start with under the origins of gratitude, getting down 250 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: to the you know, the brass tacks of the matter. 251 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: We'll start with the old old Webster's definition gratitude is 252 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 1: a state of being grateful. That's not very helpful, all right, 253 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: We'll go deeper, and to be grateful is to be 254 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: appreciative of benefits received, expressing gratitude affording pleasure or contentment 255 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: or pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviate 256 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 1: did so, it is being aware of your blessings, being 257 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: aware of benefits received, and more than just acknowledging that 258 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 1: they exist, being appreciative of them. So there's like a 259 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: positive emotion that coincides with acknowledging what has gone well 260 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: right now and considering all of this, and certainly more 261 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: so if you were already bringing in religious connotations, we 262 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: touched on the fact that sometimes gratitude is shall we say, 263 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: more cosmic. For instance, I can truly say that I'm 264 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: thankful to have been born in a time of such 265 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: scientific advancements, uh, you know, such relative global peace and 266 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: personal freedom. And I often come back to the old 267 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: phil Oaks folk song there but for Fortune that talks 268 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: about all these terrible things and saying, well they're but 269 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: for fortune, go you or I. Yeah. And And as 270 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: much as there, of course still is always lots of 271 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: things wrong in the world, you can appreciate the things 272 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: that have gone right. I mean, like whatever else bad 273 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: is going on, you can say, wow, I was able 274 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 1: to receive vaccines, you know, exactly. But a lot of 275 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: these are sort of by luck of the universe. I 276 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: exist at all, am conscious of my existence so at all, 277 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: or you know, despite a fair amount of nitpicking and 278 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: even some you know, major issues with the state of 279 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: world or even reality itself, we can say, well, I 280 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: am fortunate. So that's that's very you know, cosmic gratitude. 281 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: But then there's the idea of being grateful to someone 282 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: or to something, and and this is important as well, 283 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: and it can take many forms. Perhaps you are grateful 284 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: to your partner for all they do and for their love. 285 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: Perhaps you are grateful to your parents for their love 286 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: and support. Perhaps you're grateful to a friend or even 287 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: a stranger who did you a favor. Perhaps you're grateful 288 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: to an authority figure in your life, a boss, a 289 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: public figure who help you in some way, an artist 290 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: who created something that gave you joy, or a king 291 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: um you know. And indeed, perhaps you're you're grateful to 292 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 1: a deity for their perceived role in any of these 293 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: everyday blessings or the larger cosmic blessings we mentioned already. Yeah, 294 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: this is an interesting distinction. Uh, maybe looking at social 295 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: gratitude versus what you're calling like cosmic gratitude, because I 296 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: believe the biological function of gratitude as an emotion in 297 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: the primate brain is probably primarily social. Right, it's a 298 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 1: motivating emotion that encourages bonding and reciprocal cooperation between animals. 299 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: But in humans, it's clear that that it can escape 300 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 1: the bonds of its original social context and exist without 301 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 1: an object. Right, you can be grateful but not to 302 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: any person in particular, like you're talking about with this 303 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: cosmic gratefulness, or exist in relationship to things. Maybe there 304 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: is an object you're grateful to, but it's not another 305 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: animal or another person. It can just be a situation. 306 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: I find that really interesting. Uh, And I think there 307 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: are plenty of parallels with other emotions that have escaped 308 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: their original social significance in an animal context. You might 309 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: think of resentment in the negative side. Resentment, I think 310 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: also is primarily a social emotion as biological functions in 311 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 1: you know, regulating social groups and group dynamics. But it's 312 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: also possible for people to feel resentment towards no one 313 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 1: in particular, just sort of rather toward life for toward 314 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 1: general situations. Right Like, So, for instance, if if I 315 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: have back pain, I can resent my job and or 316 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: indoor my boss, because you know, if that job somehow 317 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: played into me injuring my back. If I believe in 318 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: a deity, I can resent my deity or you know, whatever, 319 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 1: the or the devil or whoever, for their role in 320 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: making my back hurt or allowing it to hurt in 321 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: the first place. Or I can for instance, be resentful 322 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: at natural selection in the state of human biology that 323 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 1: that frequently enables back pain to exist at all. You 324 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: can just have resentfulness without an object like and nobody 325 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 1: to be mad at here. But I'm so resentful. Yeah, 326 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: And I think the same is clearly true of gratitude. 327 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,679 Speaker 1: I entirely agree with this idea of this cosmic feeling 328 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 1: of gratitude. And it's funny how that kind of thing 329 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: complicates our picture of of gratitude far beyond even the 330 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: kind you see like in the in the folk tales, 331 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,879 Speaker 1: where most often gratitude manifests as like, Uh, you know, 332 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: a sort of a debt ode to someone. Someone has 333 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: done something nice for you, and you're going to find 334 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: a way to pay them back. Yeah, that's right, because 335 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 1: if there is an other involved in your gratitude, be 336 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 1: it an actual human person or a perceived deity, then 337 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: there may be well, this feeling of indebtedness. There is 338 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: a bond, there is something that needs to be repaid 339 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: in one form or another. And then there's clearly overlap 340 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: here between indebtedness and gratitude. Uh. And it really depends 341 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 1: on who you talk to who's doing the arguing. Some 342 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,919 Speaker 1: say that they are essentially equivalent. Others, however, argue that 343 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: we're talking about two distinct emotional states. I was looking 344 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: at some various sources on this in the Debt of Gratitude, 345 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,679 Speaker 1: disassociating gratitude and indebtedness by Watkins at All, published in 346 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: Cognition and Emotion in two thousand and six. The researchers 347 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: carried out a pair of exers. Ez Is insurmised that quote, 348 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,159 Speaker 1: the debt of gratitude is internally generated and is not 349 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: analogous to an economic form of indebtedness. Okay, so they 350 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 1: come down on the side of it, these two things 351 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: being not equivalent. Another study I was looking at for 352 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: this one from Matthews and green Um looking at Me 353 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 1: Appreciating You. Self focused attention distinguishes between gratitude and indebtedness. 354 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: This was also an Incognition and Emotion but from two 355 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: thousand eight. In this the research has found that quote, 356 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:33,640 Speaker 1: highly self focused individuals recalled increased indebtedness, but not gratitude 357 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: towards a benefactor relative to those in the control condition. 358 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: Self focused individuals also felt less commitment and closeness to 359 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,919 Speaker 1: the benefactor. So if I'm understanding this correctly, Um and indeed, 360 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: these are all just arguments on the backup two experiments. 361 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: They're not gospel. Uh. Concerning gratitude, indebtedness comes down comes 362 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 1: into play more when we're considering ourselves as players within 363 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: a social system. Well, yeah, I mean, I can imagine, 364 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: for example, it seems perfectly plausible that you could have 365 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 1: person a Bob who is really into paying back what 366 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: he owes people. He borrows five dollars, He's going to 367 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 1: pay you back five dollars, right exactly. He always pays 368 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: his debts. But he might not be a person in 369 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:20,880 Speaker 1: which you recognize much of this emotion that we call gratitude. Meanwhile, 370 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: you could have person b You could have Jeff over here, 371 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: who maybe is kind of flaky about paying back debt's 372 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 1: ode and doesn't keep a very clean ledger. That way 373 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: doesn't settle all these debts, but shows more of the 374 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: emotion we think of his gratitude. That that makes sense 375 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 1: to me, and I can very easily see those things 376 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: being disconnected from one another in social scenarios. Now here's 377 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: another paper. I was looking at a two thousand seven 378 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: paper in Motivation and Emotion from Joe N. Saying titled 379 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 1: the Effects of helper Intention on Gratitude and Indebtedness. And 380 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: this also experimented with the distinction and explore the effects 381 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: of helper intention on reactions to a favor. And basically 382 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: the subjects were asked to think about times they did 383 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: something nice, either within an ulterior motive or as an 384 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: act of just pure benevolence, and quote, participants felt significantly 385 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,119 Speaker 1: more grateful when the helper had benevolent intentions. So a 386 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: lot of it would seem to come down to either 387 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: the express nature of the act and or the individual's 388 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 1: perception of it. So you could have people who feel 389 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 1: thankful because you know, the stranger gave me a cold 390 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 1: water bottle just out of kindness or uh, you know um. 391 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: Or they could say, oh, the bellman was so nice 392 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: to bring my luggage to my hotel room. Uh, and 393 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: they're grateful, not realizing they were supposed to tip that individual. Right. 394 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,400 Speaker 1: It's all about you know, your perception. You know. Likewise, 395 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: you could feel indebted because your friend helped you move 396 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,120 Speaker 1: and you know that they are going to move next week, 397 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: or you know, you could be something like, oh, that 398 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: stranger gave me a bottle of water, probably because they're 399 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: going to try to sell me something. I'm gonna have 400 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: to stand here and listen to them, you know, or 401 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: something like that. So you could you could read or 402 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: potentially misread any situation and lean more towards gratitude or indebtedness. Okay, 403 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: we totally know if you've watched a mob movie or 404 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 1: The Sopranos, that there are gifts that are purely menacing, 405 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: that that you can, like give somebody a gift or 406 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: give somebody cash or something like that, and the goal 407 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 1: is not to do something nice for them. It is 408 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: to to scare them, to signal to them that they 409 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 1: are indebted to you, and they can't you know, they 410 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 1: can't turn this down. It's more of a kind of 411 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,919 Speaker 1: dominance move. When someone in a position of power um 412 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: asked for a favor, that sort of thing. It's entirely 413 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:35,199 Speaker 1: different situation than if a normal person just asks, you know, 414 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: a friend or a family member for a favor. Well, 415 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: but but in this case, what I was talking about 416 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,919 Speaker 1: is if a person in power does you a favor, 417 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: but you know, you're not going to feel gratitude if 418 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: you don't think that the favor was actually done out 419 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: of kindness, if you think the favor was done in 420 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 1: some way to try to dominate you or make a 421 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 1: point to you. Yes. Now, both of these ideas, though 422 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: no matter how connected they are, touch on two things 423 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: that are typically stressed in human culture. You should repay 424 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: your debts and you should show gratitude either in general 425 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: to a deity or deities and or two individuals. All right, 426 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: it's time to take a quick break, but we'll be 427 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: right back to discuss some research on gratitude. Alright, we're back. 428 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: So in considering, you know, cultural attitudes towards gratitude and 429 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 1: who should show gratitude towards, one of the big ones is, 430 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,199 Speaker 1: of course, gratitude towards parents and family members. That kind 431 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 1: of makes sense. I mean, the entire act of raising 432 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: a child is doing a lot of favors that are 433 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 1: not immediately repaid, right, and and also you engage in 434 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 1: them generally because you don't expect them to be repaid. Yeah, 435 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 1: but but this is important business in human culture. Uh. 436 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: And in various cultures we see different models of it. 437 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 1: For instance, in Chinese traditions, there's the concept of filial 438 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:59,159 Speaker 1: piety or shall and it is enormously important and in 439 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,439 Speaker 1: many Eastern cultus as well. It's a concept grounded in 440 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,479 Speaker 1: Daoist philosophy Confucian family values, and it concerns the undying 441 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 1: nature of the human soul, the dead live on in 442 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 1: the afterlife. It also entails continue efforts to not only 443 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: honor to see his family members, but to care for them, 444 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: to tend to their desires and even uh in some 445 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: models curry favor in order to avoid catastrophe, to maintain 446 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: balance and happiness for the living and for the dead. Um, 447 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,920 Speaker 1: you know, it's a continued spirit lineage for a given family. 448 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 1: But we also see the basic form of this elsewhere 449 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 1: as well. A certain amount of respect and devotion is 450 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: old to elders, particularly one's own elders, and we see 451 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: shades of this and other cultures. The Greeks and Romans 452 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 1: put a great deal of emphasis on gratefulness to one's 453 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,120 Speaker 1: parents and failure to honor. This was considered not mere ingratitude, 454 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: but impeity. Uh So we're talking, you know, the dire 455 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: breach of a bond that is often attributed to that 456 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,360 Speaker 1: between a mortal and a god. And of course one 457 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 1: is reminded of the line from King lear right, how 458 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: sharper it is than a urban's tooth to have an 459 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: ungrateful child. I mean, the serpent's tooth doesn't make noise. Yeah, No, 460 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,120 Speaker 1: I mean that is like, what why is it? I mean, 461 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 1: I don't think it's just like our personal pet peeves 462 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,439 Speaker 1: like it is a widely recognized thing that one of 463 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: the most disgusting things to witnesses, like a particularly entitled 464 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: and ungrateful child. Well that's fine, Willy Wonka and the 465 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,160 Speaker 1: chocolate factory. We see I think several generations of this, right, 466 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 1: the ungrateful child. I guess FRUA's fru cassalt one of 467 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 1: the ungrateful children. I don't know. I'm not a Willie 468 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: Wanka expert here now, I'm trying to at least one 469 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 1: of them is definitely positioned as an ungrateful child, and 470 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,880 Speaker 1: and a lot of I want it's and no thank you's. 471 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: Right now. Of course, we realistically have to acknowledge that 472 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: relationships between children and parents is is often more complicated 473 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 1: than this, but still the trope, the idea of the 474 00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 1: cultural emphasis remains. But in general, Judaism, chris Janity, and 475 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 1: Islam all stressed gratitude is being part of a good life. 476 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: It's also stressed in Hinduism and Buddhism and other major 477 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,640 Speaker 1: faiths as well, and and often there's an emphasis put 478 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 1: on gratitude as expressed in prayer, absolutely, I think, and 479 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 1: as we get into the studies about the psychological benefits 480 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: of actively practicing gratitude. I think this is one of 481 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: the many arguments you could make that there are secular 482 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: psychological benefits to what you would normally see as prayer behaviors, 483 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 1: right right. And we see various philosophers and thinkers throughout 484 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,360 Speaker 1: time chiming in on gratitude as well, generally in favor 485 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 1: of it. Um. So, just a taste of some of these, um, 486 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,639 Speaker 1: and maybe we can go back and forth on these, 487 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,719 Speaker 1: uh these, Joe, if you want to take the first one. Oh, okay, 488 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: So Epicurus said, do not spoil what you have by 489 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: desiring what you have. Not remember that what you now 490 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: have was once among the things you only hoped for, 491 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 1: all right. And then Cicero once said gratitude is not 492 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,479 Speaker 1: only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. 493 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,439 Speaker 1: I think he's close. I think the parent of all 494 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 1: others is probably honesty, but gratitude right up there, somewhere 495 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: right below. I think gratitude fits in pretty well with 496 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 1: with the Stoic philosophy and you and you can see 497 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 1: this in the writings of Marcus Aurelius, where he said, 498 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: take full account of what excellencies you possess and ingratitude. 499 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: Remember how you would hanker after them if you had 500 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: them not Now, I was of course curious what Aristotle 501 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 1: had to say, and because he's always wrong. Well, and 502 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 1: you might not be surprised here, depending on how you 503 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: look at it. Uh So I've read different things about 504 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 1: Aristotle's approach to gratitude. On one hand, is pointed out 505 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 1: by Jacquelein of Pifer Merrill in Philanthropy Daily the Virtue 506 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 1: of Gratitude as the name of her piece, Aristotle did 507 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 1: not list gratitude as a virtue and actually listed several 508 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 1: traits that run opposite to the idea, such as having 509 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: a quote proper pride wasn't Aristotle also against mercy? He 510 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: didn't really like it. Yeah. On the other hand, the 511 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: Stanford Encyclopedia Philosophy points out that gratitude quote fits nicely 512 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: into Aristotle's picture of virtue as a mean between an 513 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: excess and a deficiency, with gratitude being a mean between 514 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: the vices of arrogant, prideful and envious ingratitude on one hand, 515 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: and the obsequiousness or servility of over gratitude on the other. Still, 516 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: I would say Aristotle not coming off as like the 517 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: the real poster child for gratitude. Well, I mean, I 518 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 1: think Aristotle was very much one day, he was kind 519 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 1: of obsessed with like with like justice and the ledger 520 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: being evenly settled in things, so like, you know, I 521 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: think he was against the idea of mercy or compassion 522 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: towards people who were receiving deserved or just suffering. And 523 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: I think he would probably likely hear be against um 524 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: feelings of gratitude that are disproport sin it to the 525 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: benefits received. All right, let's fast forward a bit to 526 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,719 Speaker 1: some more recent thinkers. Okay, it looks like we got 527 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 1: Voltaire here, who said appreciation is a wonderful thing. It 528 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. 529 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: I really like that one. Uh. And then here's one 530 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: from C. S. Lewis. This is from the screw type letters. Uh. 531 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 1: And off hand, I don't remember if this is these 532 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 1: are the words of a demon or not, but quote 533 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: gratitude looks to the past, and love to the present. 534 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: Fear averaice, lust, and ambition look ahead. So to take 535 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 1: that for what it's worth. Now, now to come back 536 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 1: to the idea of a you know, sort of terrestrial 537 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 1: and cosmic gratitude, uh secular and religious thankfulness. There's a 538 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: wonderful two thousand fourteen Atlantic article titled Gratitude without God 539 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: that asks ask us, what do we to make of 540 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: gratitude when we remove the spiritual elements so key to 541 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: it in religious modes of life? And in this you 542 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: see Davis psychologist at Robert Emmons is quoted in the article, 543 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: and I think he sums it up rather nicely. Quote 544 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 1: we all begin life dependent on others, and most of 545 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: us in life dependent on others. If we are lucky 546 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,719 Speaker 1: in between, we have roughly sixty years or so of 547 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 1: unacknowledged dependency. The human condition is such that throughout life, 548 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: not just at the beginning and end, we are profoundly 549 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: dependent on other people. Gratitude is the truest approach to life. 550 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 1: We did not create or fashion ourselves. We did not 551 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 1: birth ourselves. Life is about giving, receiving, and repaying. We 552 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: are receptive beings dependent on the help of others, on 553 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,200 Speaker 1: their gifts and their kindness. I think that's lovely and 554 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 1: extremely true. Robert Emmons, of course, is a psychologist who's 555 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: deeply involved in research on gratitude. You see him all 556 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: over like the the UC Berkeley Greater Good Thing, which 557 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 1: studies a lot of like, you know, positive emotions and 558 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: things like that. He's all over that. So he does 559 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: a lot with UH emotions like gratitude. But I I 560 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 1: agree here, I mean I gratitude is fundamentally an emotional 561 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 1: state of honesty and realism, whereas a roughly converse emotion 562 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 1: like pride more often reflects delusion and self deception. Essentially, 563 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,959 Speaker 1: none of the things about your life that you enjoy 564 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,640 Speaker 1: could exist without the free gifts given by others in 565 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 1: the past and present. You're you know, the society you 566 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: live in, your education that made you the person you 567 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: are today, all the technology that you benefit from, the 568 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 1: culture that you love it, everything, everything there is a 569 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,719 Speaker 1: gift from others in the past and in the present 570 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: to you. And to try to ignore this is just 571 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 1: factually deceptive, you know, to think like I deserve everything 572 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 1: good that I get and and it's all because of me. 573 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: I think exactly the same way that it feels good 574 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: to tell the truth instead of lying. It feels good 575 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: to be grateful for everything that's good. Yes, I would agree. Now, 576 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: Also interesting in this UH, this article um that I 577 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 1: that I quoted here the Gratitude without God from the 578 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: Atlantic In Uh, they they cite Michael McCulloch, a psychologist 579 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: at the University of Miami, who makes a case that 580 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: it may also be just hardwired into us social apes, 581 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: that we are traits for gratitude might be enforced through 582 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: natural selection. And McCulloch has has research gratitude before before 583 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: of you know, finding that the doing nice things for 584 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 1: people unexpectedly produces gratitude and then it's more likely that 585 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: we will respond in kind. Yeah. Uh yeah, And I 586 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: think there's been a lot of research on the dynamics 587 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:41,959 Speaker 1: of of like social altruism and reciprocal behavior among social 588 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: species like like primates like us. How do you form 589 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: stable social groups of complex animals like us. One pretty 590 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: simple way to do it is to operate on the 591 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 1: basis not it's not perfectly represented like this, but the 592 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: basis of roughly reciprocal behavior. When somebody does something nice 593 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 1: for you, you do something nice for them back. And 594 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: if animals with traits for this evolved, they can have 595 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: stable social groups. Yeah, I think I think that makes sense. 596 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: And again we are coming back to the fact that 597 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 1: we are these social beings, and we depend so heavily 598 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: on on these social connections, though sometimes pride does at 599 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: least partially convinces that we that we were immune from 600 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: all of this. So indeed, there has been quite a 601 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: bit of research into gratitude and and so we're not 602 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: gonna attempt to include everything here, but I wanted to 603 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: start with just a few examples of recent studies from 604 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: the past few years before looking at more of like 605 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 1: a meta analysis of you know what in general we 606 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: know about gratitude. So there is a two thousand seventeen 607 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:50,080 Speaker 1: University of Oregon study that found that journaling, uh, you know, 608 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 1: taking your thoughts, putting them onto paper, forcing them into 609 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 1: written language inspired altruism through an exercise of gratitude. Yeah, 610 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: and that's gonna be one thing that figures big into 611 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: scientific research on gratitude. You've got to find a way 612 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 1: to make it happen in the sort of lab conditions 613 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 1: or controlled conditions. And there are a couple of things 614 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: that are very common there that are referred to as 615 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:16,200 Speaker 1: gratitude interventions. One big one is getting people to like 616 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: journal to write out their blessings and just like mentally 617 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,120 Speaker 1: acknowledge them. Going through the list and being thankful, and 618 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: that appears to work pretty well. And another one is 619 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 1: getting somebody to acknowledge a person directly, like writing a 620 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 1: letter of gratitude to someone. Yes. Uh. And these of 621 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: these things don't work equally for everyone. Some people have 622 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: a disposition that's more toward gratitude to begin with, but 623 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: they do appear to be generally effective at triggering gratitude 624 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,360 Speaker 1: and its subsequent benefits. It's something you can do that 625 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 1: will very likely change your emotional state, just to literally 626 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 1: sit down and think about your blessings. It looks like 627 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: it mostly works. Uh. Here's another one in two thou eighteen, 628 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,439 Speaker 1: University of Chicago Booth School of Business. Because of course 629 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,439 Speaker 1: gratitude is in every aspect of life, and of course 630 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: in the business sphere as well. How can you use 631 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 1: gratitude to extract money from other people? Well, this is 632 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,240 Speaker 1: interesting that it ties into that, I think, the everyday experience, 633 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,040 Speaker 1: because he said that they found that people tend to 634 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 1: underestimate the power of, say, a letter of gratitude. They also, 635 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 1: you know, commented that despite all the research and the 636 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 1: media coverage, and it is the you know, the popular 637 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:29,360 Speaker 1: notion that gratitude is good. The public, you know, tends 638 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:34,319 Speaker 1: do not exercise these exercises of gratitude enough through expressions 639 00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: like this, through through like just a note of thank you. 640 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:38,879 Speaker 1: That's what I was getting at earlier. I mean, on 641 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,439 Speaker 1: one hand, it's it's not very surprising to say that, yes, 642 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 1: gratitude has strong psychological benefits. Practicing gratitude is really good, 643 00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: and you should do it. That might be the conventional 644 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 1: wisdom anyway, But people don't. We don't act as if 645 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: it is. And and I kind of get from this 646 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: the fact that it's such a you know, it's a 647 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,359 Speaker 1: business school of business paper. I'm getting like even from 648 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,239 Speaker 1: like a macke Valiant sort of standpoint. They're not. It's 649 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 1: like you're not manipulating gratitude enough. But that kind of 650 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: like ties into our overall, you know, perhaps an overall 651 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 1: lack of gratitude. Maybe we're being ungrateful to our friends 652 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: in the business world. They're not always There might be 653 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,800 Speaker 1: little elements of that. Here's another one. Two thousand eighteen, 654 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 1: researchers from Peking University used neuroimaging to demonstrate a possible 655 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 1: brain network involved in the translation of altruism into feelings 656 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:32,240 Speaker 1: of thankfulness. So I mean, basically, we're setting on two 657 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 1: decades a plus of work that supports the long standing 658 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 1: idea that gratitude is a worthwhile virtue with positive effects 659 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: on health, happiness, and relationships and also tends to lessen uh, 660 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:50,360 Speaker 1: negative emotional states like in the and materialism. So indeed, 661 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,359 Speaker 1: there's a great deal of research out there about gratitude, 662 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,840 Speaker 1: and I was, I was looking through a lot of it, 663 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 1: and I found a really good two thousand seventeen paper 664 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: by Laos at all and pls one and uh and 665 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,919 Speaker 1: this did a lot of sort of meta analysis, sort 666 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 1: of catching us up on on what has occurred in 667 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 1: previous decades in the researching of gratitude and and a 668 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: lot of these do come down to these experiments that 669 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,840 Speaker 1: you described already Joe, about you know, asking someone to 670 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 1: recount their blessings before you know it as part of 671 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,840 Speaker 1: the experiment, or asking them to write a letter of gratitude. 672 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 1: So this paper, is the title indicates, was largely focused 673 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 1: on looking at the quote complex constellation of social emotions 674 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 1: people experience after practicing gratitude. But in doing so they 675 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,879 Speaker 1: do a wonderful meta analysis of prior gratitude research, and 676 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 1: this is basically this is the short version of what 677 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 1: they lay out. So, first of all, numerous past studies 678 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: have proven that there are tangible positive benefits to gratitude. 679 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: I've listed some of these already, health, happiness, relationships, etcetera. 680 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 1: And then following up on these, additional studies looked to 681 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 1: ways to induce these feelings in experiments through gratitude exercises. 682 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,359 Speaker 1: So there's about a decade that and then uh, there 683 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 1: are papers such as this one. They look more at 684 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,839 Speaker 1: exactly what might be going on and how it factors, 685 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: you know, into the human experience, and uh, through their 686 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,839 Speaker 1: own studies. In this paper, the researchers found that gratitude 687 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:20,840 Speaker 1: exercises feel pleasant and mildly unpleasant at the same time, 688 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,759 Speaker 1: which I think was is really insightful. This is something 689 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: that I I didn't even really think about, but then 690 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,799 Speaker 1: after I read it, I'm like, well, that's that's exactly right. Yeah, 691 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 1: if when I'm when I'm engaging in an exercise of gratitude, 692 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 1: which you know it might be in the prayer. I've 693 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: gone to yoga classes where they do uh gratitude exercise 694 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: as well. Uh, they can feel a little bitter sweet, 695 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 1: because in contemplating what you have there and and what 696 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,800 Speaker 1: has you know, the various aids that have been present 697 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,720 Speaker 1: to help you get where you are in your life, 698 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,280 Speaker 1: as well as the cosmic things in place. You know, you, 699 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,600 Speaker 1: you end up at least partially contemplating uh, you know, 700 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,839 Speaker 1: the situation of others and uh and indeed getting into 701 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 1: that there but for fortune kind of zone that we 702 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: discussed earlier. Yeah, I think there there are multiple reasons 703 00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:13,239 Speaker 1: that practicing gratitude, while very psychologically beneficial overall, it can 704 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,720 Speaker 1: be bitter sweet. And of course one of the reasons 705 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 1: is acknowledging the misfortune of others while you acknowledge your 706 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: own fortune. I mean that that, of course, it doesn't 707 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: feel good to contemplate the fact that you have what 708 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:29,799 Speaker 1: others do not have. But then also there's another thing, 709 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,000 Speaker 1: which is just like, there's a certain part of you that, 710 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: even when you're trying to practice gratitude probably always wants 711 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,359 Speaker 1: to be a bit narcissistic and entitled and think that well, 712 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 1: I you know, I just get what's coming to me, 713 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,839 Speaker 1: all the good things coming my way, or because I 714 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,400 Speaker 1: deserve them, and I'm so great and I've earned everything 715 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 1: I have. You know, people sometimes like to think that way, 716 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: and it's weird that So I think the research is 717 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 1: absolutely clear that actively practicing gratitude and acknowledging all of 718 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: the blessings that have come your way, being thankful for 719 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 1: what other people have done for you and for your 720 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 1: good fortune and luck, that has positive benefits and it 721 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: feels good. But if you are encouraged to do that, 722 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: if certain especially certain people with a kind of disposition 723 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,359 Speaker 1: against gratitude, are encouraged to do things like that using 724 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 1: the wrong language or the wrong tone of voice, they 725 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:25,160 Speaker 1: can often become incredibly defensive and defiant, like the suggestion 726 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,040 Speaker 1: that they have benefited from privileges and blessings and stuff. 727 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,040 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Oh, absolutely, Yeah, there's 728 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,280 Speaker 1: you know, obviously there's a lot of talk and culture 729 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 1: today about about the various privileges that we have and 730 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:40,040 Speaker 1: checking your privilege, acknowledging your privilege, and and and and 731 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 1: factoring that into how you relate to others, how you 732 00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,960 Speaker 1: empathize with other people, which which is I think a 733 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,880 Speaker 1: very important exercise and essential exercise. But yeah, at the 734 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:55,400 Speaker 1: same time, like that's a way to really raise somebody's defenses. Absolutely. 735 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,640 Speaker 1: I mean, I think I could be wrong, but what 736 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:01,160 Speaker 1: I tend to imagine is going on there that even 737 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,360 Speaker 1: though I think most people would acknowledge that it is 738 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 1: good to understand and think about the blessings you've received, 739 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,919 Speaker 1: you know, the honored privileges that that you benefit from. 740 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,240 Speaker 1: That if you are encouraged to do so by someone 741 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 1: that you don't see as sympathetic to you, you know, 742 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,840 Speaker 1: if you're encouraged to do that by somebody you see 743 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:23,200 Speaker 1: as maybe a potential enemy or stranger outsider, you get 744 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,319 Speaker 1: kind of you just like put the walls up and 745 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 1: you're like, no, it feels like an attack. Yeah, And 746 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 1: I wonder if part of this, getting back to this 747 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 1: bittersweet aspect of of gratitude, is that it is placing 748 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:38,280 Speaker 1: yourself into a state of vulnerability, which which is generally 749 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,600 Speaker 1: something that's the kind of thing that is necessary for change, 750 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,840 Speaker 1: that's necessary for uh, for for a lot of like 751 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 1: positive movements of of the of of of the mind 752 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,080 Speaker 1: and the and our sense of identity, but it can 753 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,239 Speaker 1: also be frightening. Also in this paper, they speculated that 754 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,680 Speaker 1: this mixed emotional experience is perhaps more motivating than like 755 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:04,360 Speaker 1: a purely positive of emotional experience would be uh. They write, quote, indeed, 756 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:08,000 Speaker 1: it maybe this bittersweet state and the behaviors it elicits 757 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 1: that explain why gratitude exercises lead to downstream positive outcomes 758 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:18,279 Speaker 1: pro sociality, health promoting behavior, etcetera, lending support to the 759 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,520 Speaker 1: age old wisdom that gratitude is indeed a virtue. Right, 760 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,359 Speaker 1: so it's not just like an emotion or an emotional state, 761 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,439 Speaker 1: but it is actually motivating. Uh. We already talked about 762 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 1: the idea that gratitude is an emotion that maybe in 763 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 1: an evolutionary sense, promotes pro social behavior, promotes like in 764 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:39,120 Speaker 1: group cooperation, reciprocal altruism with people you know, doing a 765 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,440 Speaker 1: nice thing for people who you imagine would do a 766 00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,399 Speaker 1: nice thing for you, or have done a nice thing 767 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: for you. That of course is very important social behavior. 768 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,839 Speaker 1: But health promoting behavior. That that's another really interesting one. 769 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 1: It does show up a lot in the research that 770 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: you practice gratitude, you're less likely to abuse your own 771 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,120 Speaker 1: body in various ways. It's hard to imagine exactly what 772 00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,319 Speaker 1: the mechanism is there, but I can see it have 773 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 1: something to do with the kind of uh, the kind 774 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,719 Speaker 1: of bittersweet self reflection brought on by understanding the things 775 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,839 Speaker 1: you benefit from. Yeah, and I also I also think 776 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 1: there's probably a connection there to the I mean there 777 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: there is a connection between gratitude and altruism, and you 778 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 1: know some of them. We discussed some of that connection already, 779 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,880 Speaker 1: but you can see where you could you could be 780 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: asked to feel the gratitude you're so you're you're thankful 781 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 1: for the food you have. You have enough food to 782 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,759 Speaker 1: feed your family, right, and then you realize in doing 783 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,240 Speaker 1: that that a lot of people cannot make this statement, 784 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,760 Speaker 1: and then that may lead to them to the action, 785 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,279 Speaker 1: to actually doing something like signing up for a meal 786 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:36,040 Speaker 1: delivery program, participating in a canned food drive, or or 787 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,920 Speaker 1: other acts of altruism. Yeah, I think that's entirely plausible. Now, 788 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:45,160 Speaker 1: focusing just on the immediate psychological benefits of of of 789 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,480 Speaker 1: practicing gratitude. I was watching a short talk by the U. C. 790 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 1: Davis psychologist Robert A. Emmons, who is deeply involved in 791 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,480 Speaker 1: a lot of this gratitude research. I think we already 792 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 1: mentioned him earlier. So yeah, we read a quote from yeah, uh, 793 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,480 Speaker 1: and he he just makes a number of points memerizing 794 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 1: some of the big takeaways from gratitude research and its 795 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,799 Speaker 1: emotional benefits. One of the things he mentions that I 796 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:11,239 Speaker 1: think is interesting is that under natural circumstances, states of 797 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,000 Speaker 1: positive emotion quickly wear off. You know, like you you 798 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 1: you're happy because something good happened. You know, that can 799 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,600 Speaker 1: be anything from you know, I loved one did something 800 00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,440 Speaker 1: nice for you, or you've got to raise at work 801 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,239 Speaker 1: or whatever it is. You know, that leads to this 802 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 1: feeling of like, oh wow, you know the things are great. 803 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,680 Speaker 1: Those emotional states wear off really fast. We're we're prone 804 00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,520 Speaker 1: to sort of like go back to baseline or or 805 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,279 Speaker 1: pay attention to the new stimulus. But research indicates that 806 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,920 Speaker 1: actively practicing gratitude sort of has the power to prolong 807 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,520 Speaker 1: and sustain states of positive emotion. It prevents that wearing 808 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: off effect and and positive emotional states being supplanted by 809 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,400 Speaker 1: novelty and your experience. Uh. And I think that's a 810 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,560 Speaker 1: pretty straightforward effect, right, just like just like thinking about 811 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,200 Speaker 1: your blessings allows you to enjoy them more. Another thing 812 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,880 Speaker 1: he points out is that gratitude actively suppresses some negative 813 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 1: emotions and emotional states, not all, but some. Uh. And 814 00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,239 Speaker 1: the negative emotional states that he flags as as being 815 00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:18,200 Speaker 1: sort of blocked by practicing gratitude are envy, resentment, regret, 816 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,200 Speaker 1: and depression. Another thing he mentions is that gratitude encourages 817 00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:27,279 Speaker 1: psychological resilience. That just means it that like dispositional gratitude, 818 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,359 Speaker 1: if you if you train yourself to become a gratitude 819 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,720 Speaker 1: disposed kind of person, it makes it easier to recover 820 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,759 Speaker 1: when bad things happen to you and when you enter 821 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,560 Speaker 1: negative emotional states. Uh. And then finally, of course that 822 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,200 Speaker 1: this goes more to what we were talking about just 823 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:45,799 Speaker 1: a minute ago. Gratitude strengthened social bonding and increases our 824 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,920 Speaker 1: feeling of self worth. Uh. And I think the self 825 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,840 Speaker 1: worth thing is very interesting because there's some kind of 826 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,160 Speaker 1: perhaps ironic or or seemingly on its face self contradictory 827 00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 1: thing going on with gratitude. It seems like gratitude simultane 828 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 1: enviously causes us to, you know, like be less self 829 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:08,480 Speaker 1: focused and less narcissistic and less uh, less likely to 830 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,319 Speaker 1: believe that, you know, we just deserve everything good that's 831 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,440 Speaker 1: come our way, we earned it all. But on the 832 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: other hand, it does somehow make people feel more worthy. 833 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,279 Speaker 1: I wonder if it is because on some level, like 834 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 1: our our most pronounced version of the egoic self, you know, 835 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,120 Speaker 1: the most inflated version, which is going to vary from 836 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:31,400 Speaker 1: individual to the individual. But that that that edifice that 837 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,839 Speaker 1: we put out, you know that it is on some level, 838 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:36,920 Speaker 1: even as we're saying it, we know that it is 839 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:41,320 Speaker 1: an inflation, and acts of gratitude forced us to withdraw 840 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,879 Speaker 1: that that that self balloon to to a more reasonable level. 841 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,040 Speaker 1: That then we can feel a lot better about Yeah, 842 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: it's true like that. You might feel better thinking about 843 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:54,239 Speaker 1: your own accomplishments if you're more humble and considering what 844 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:56,680 Speaker 1: they are, right, because you've come down from I am 845 00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:00,160 Speaker 1: a golden God too, I'm an okay person, and and 846 00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,280 Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, I can stand behind that that statement. 847 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,560 Speaker 1: I'm my hands aren't shaking when I say it. But 848 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,680 Speaker 1: I've got another possible theory. This isn't something that that 849 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:11,000 Speaker 1: I've read asserted elsewhere, but it sort of ties into 850 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 1: what we were just thinking about. And I'm wondering if 851 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:18,080 Speaker 1: there's a tie in to an extrapolated version of something 852 00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,520 Speaker 1: known as the Ben Franklin effect. I think maybe we 853 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:21,960 Speaker 1: should take a break and then we can come back 854 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:27,440 Speaker 1: and talk about this, all right, we'll do it. All right, 855 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,239 Speaker 1: we're back, And I have to admit I kind of 856 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:30,799 Speaker 1: feel like I want to ring a bell or have 857 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,600 Speaker 1: a sound effect anytime Ben Franklin shows up in either 858 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,960 Speaker 1: stuff to blow your mind or invention, because it does 859 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,719 Speaker 1: seem like he'll pop in like a special guest star, 860 00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,400 Speaker 1: like a frequent special guest star in a sitcom, like 861 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 1: suddenly he's here. What's he gonna do? Is he gonna 862 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,799 Speaker 1: experiment with something? Is he going to, uh, you know, 863 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:52,680 Speaker 1: share some wisdom? What's his role? Franklin effect? Well, I 864 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,719 Speaker 1: kind of can't you know. I don't love all the 865 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,560 Speaker 1: so called founding fathers equally, but I think maybe I'm 866 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 1: sort of a you might call a Franco file. I like. 867 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:03,759 Speaker 1: I like Franklin. All right, Well, how does he tie 868 00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,760 Speaker 1: into gratitude? All right? So this is a principle known 869 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 1: as the Ben Franklin effect Franklin Franklin effect. And here's 870 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,560 Speaker 1: a very simple version of it. You're more likely to 871 00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,719 Speaker 1: do a favor for me if you've already done me 872 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,520 Speaker 1: a favor in the past. It's named after a story 873 00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:28,120 Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin tells in his autobiography about how when he 874 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 1: was serving as a clerk in the Pennsylvania General Assembly, 875 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,400 Speaker 1: and this was before the American Revolution, this would be 876 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,680 Speaker 1: in the colonial administration of the mid seventeen thirties. Uh. 877 00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,840 Speaker 1: Franklin tells how one year a new member of the 878 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:44,400 Speaker 1: Assembly shows up and makes this long speech against Franklin's 879 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,160 Speaker 1: candidacy for reappointment to the clerkship. So we've got like 880 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,319 Speaker 1: an anti Franklin it in the Assembly who's up there 881 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:54,880 Speaker 1: railing against Franklin. And Franklin evaluates this guy, and he 882 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,840 Speaker 1: judges that actually, this guy would make a good ally 883 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:01,040 Speaker 1: in the future because, uh, he he's likely to have 884 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,279 Speaker 1: a lot of influence, he's wealthy, he's well educated, and 885 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,520 Speaker 1: he's got a lot of political talents. So Franklin wants 886 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:09,800 Speaker 1: to turn this enemy into a friend. But he also 887 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:13,440 Speaker 1: doesn't want to do anything humiliating or pay any quote, 888 00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 1: pay any servile respect to him, which, you know, I 889 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,880 Speaker 1: admire Franklin for admitting that like petty resistance. Right. So 890 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,560 Speaker 1: he comes up with a plan to ingratiate himself to 891 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:28,080 Speaker 1: this guy, and he writes describing it here quote having 892 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,960 Speaker 1: heard that he had in his library a certain very 893 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,920 Speaker 1: scarce and curious book. I wrote a note to him 894 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,600 Speaker 1: expressing my desire of perusing that book, and requesting he 895 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:39,960 Speaker 1: would do me the favor of lending it to me 896 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,040 Speaker 1: for a few days. He sent it immediately, and I 897 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,840 Speaker 1: returned it in about a week with another note expressing 898 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,120 Speaker 1: strongly my sense of the favor. When we next met 899 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,319 Speaker 1: in the house, he spoke to me, which he had 900 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,560 Speaker 1: never done before, and with great civility, And he ever 901 00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,960 Speaker 1: after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, 902 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,600 Speaker 1: so that we became great friends. Our friendship continued to 903 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,440 Speaker 1: his death. This is another instance of the truth of 904 00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,160 Speaker 1: an old maxim I had learned, which says, he that 905 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,520 Speaker 1: has once done you a kindness will be more ready 906 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:13,200 Speaker 1: to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged. 907 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 1: And it shows how much more profitable it is to 908 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:21,000 Speaker 1: prudently remove than to resent return and continue inimical proceedings. 909 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,880 Speaker 1: And that, of course, that's that's certain, very scarce and 910 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:27,520 Speaker 1: curious book was, of course the necronomic. I think so 911 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,719 Speaker 1: it's it's how Franklin learned the electrostatic secrets of azzof 912 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,120 Speaker 1: so Franklin's observation can be generalized if you want to 913 00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: make somebody like you, to make them treat you better, 914 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,880 Speaker 1: get them to do you a small favor. After somebody 915 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,360 Speaker 1: does you a small favor, their feelings about you become 916 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,200 Speaker 1: more amicable and they become more likely to treat you 917 00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:55,000 Speaker 1: better in other ways in Franklin effect. So a couple 918 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,640 Speaker 1: of questions that this is just a historical anecdote. First 919 00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,520 Speaker 1: of all, is this effect generally real? Can it be 920 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,920 Speaker 1: empirically confirmed? And if so, how does this tie back 921 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:07,640 Speaker 1: into gratitude as we were talking about earlier. So the 922 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,480 Speaker 1: first question is their empirical evidence for the Ben Franklin effect. 923 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:15,080 Speaker 1: I think the scientific evidence is not overwhelming, but there 924 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,400 Speaker 1: are a few studies and they do seem to support 925 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:21,160 Speaker 1: the effect. One famous one was from the nineteen sixties, 926 00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:23,400 Speaker 1: I think it's from sixty nine in the journal Human 927 00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,840 Speaker 1: Relations by Jekker and Landy called liking a person as 928 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,840 Speaker 1: a function of doing him a favor. And the authors 929 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:33,399 Speaker 1: here did this complicated procedure with a with with having 930 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:38,040 Speaker 1: participants go into a sham experiment that involved payouts of 931 00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,640 Speaker 1: small payouts of money at the end of the experiment 932 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,279 Speaker 1: uh and they had different conditions where experiment ers or 933 00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,520 Speaker 1: somebody acting on behalf of the experiment, or would ask 934 00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,800 Speaker 1: participants to do favors for them, including returning the small 935 00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,440 Speaker 1: amounts of money that they had won for participation in 936 00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,960 Speaker 1: the experiment, Like there was a ruse where they'd say, 937 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,920 Speaker 1: actually funding his run out and and this is your payment. 938 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,880 Speaker 1: But uh, I'm having to fund these experiments out of 939 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,160 Speaker 1: my own pocket, so I would really appreciate if you 940 00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:08,640 Speaker 1: would return the money. And then they also tried asking 941 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:13,080 Speaker 1: for this favor through an intermediary like a department secretary, 942 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,360 Speaker 1: and the authors did indeed find that after doing somebody 943 00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 1: a favor, participants, on average reported liking that person more 944 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,359 Speaker 1: than they did before, more than they did if they 945 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,360 Speaker 1: didn't do the person a favor. The Ben Franklin effect 946 00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:29,800 Speaker 1: was supported by the experiment, but there are some interesting nuggets. 947 00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,799 Speaker 1: First of all, it did not help for a person 948 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,000 Speaker 1: to ask for a favor through an intermediary or have 949 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,560 Speaker 1: somebody else asked for a favor on your behalf. Only 950 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:43,279 Speaker 1: asking directly seemed to create the effect here. Well that 951 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,480 Speaker 1: that would make sense, like that is the formation of 952 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,520 Speaker 1: the social bond, must be a person to person. Yeah, 953 00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,160 Speaker 1: I think that sort of makes sense. Uh. The Experimenters 954 00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:55,359 Speaker 1: also manipulated the magnitude of the favor to see if 955 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,560 Speaker 1: this made a difference. Does doing somebody a bigger favor 956 00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 1: make you like them more than doing them a smaller favor. 957 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,640 Speaker 1: They called this the magnitude of concession hypothesis, and they 958 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,000 Speaker 1: expected it to be the case, but they were wrong. 959 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,760 Speaker 1: It appears that if I ask you for a favor 960 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:13,040 Speaker 1: and you do it for me, you will probably like 961 00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,120 Speaker 1: me more than you did before. But there is no 962 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,960 Speaker 1: evidence that doing me a bigger favor makes you like 963 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,920 Speaker 1: me more than doing a smaller favor would. So, based 964 00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,680 Speaker 1: on the study, I think it makes sense if you're 965 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,520 Speaker 1: trying to get somebody to like you ask them to 966 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,360 Speaker 1: do you a small favor. Of course, in this I 967 00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,840 Speaker 1: know everybody is now thinking back to times that friends 968 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:34,000 Speaker 1: and co workers asked small favors, and your your second 969 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,759 Speaker 1: guessing and wondering if they were gaming you. Were they 970 00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 1: gaming you? Yes, they've gotten me. They didn't want to 971 00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,000 Speaker 1: read that book, They just wanted to mess with me. 972 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 1: Uh so, interesting question like this does appear to be 973 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,120 Speaker 1: empirically true. If it is in fact a robust effect 974 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:53,040 Speaker 1: and generalizable, what explains it? Why are we like this. 975 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,320 Speaker 1: There are a couple of main explanations that have been floated. 976 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:59,880 Speaker 1: One is just sort of like a social effect that 977 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:03,799 Speaker 1: the act of requesting a favor humanizes you in the 978 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 1: eyes of a person to whom you made the request, 979 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,239 Speaker 1: Like it makes you just appear more sympathetic if you 980 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,680 Speaker 1: come asking for something. This This makes perfect sense because 981 00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,279 Speaker 1: I feel like when we dislike someone, we tend to 982 00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,359 Speaker 1: formulate a very simple model of who they are and 983 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,279 Speaker 1: what they're about, and generally it will boil down to, like, 984 00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:27,440 Speaker 1: you know, a few impulses or ideas regarding their personality 985 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:31,520 Speaker 1: or character. And this add adds a a mundane element 986 00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,280 Speaker 1: into the mix. That is, it's perhaps is like adding 987 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:39,400 Speaker 1: adding water to a strong beverage dilutes the uh, the 988 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,439 Speaker 1: poison a bit. Yeah. I think that's a good way 989 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,800 Speaker 1: of explaining it, and I think this explanation is somewhat 990 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,239 Speaker 1: supported by by some of the research, but not all 991 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:53,320 Speaker 1: of it. There's another explanation, which is the cognitive dissonance explanation. Basically, 992 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,960 Speaker 1: the idea here is that it's hard to mentally reconcile 993 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,920 Speaker 1: having done something nice for somebody youth think you don't like, 994 00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,920 Speaker 1: so the brain resolves this incongruity by updating its opinion 995 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,799 Speaker 1: of the recipient in a positive way. That makes sense. Now, 996 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 1: we'll come back to these explanations in a minute. I 997 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,799 Speaker 1: just wanted to look real quickly at another study that 998 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:19,280 Speaker 1: investigated the ben Franklin effect. This was by you Nia 999 00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,520 Speaker 1: in the Journal of Social Psychology in twenty sixteen. Does 1000 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:26,000 Speaker 1: a favor request increase liking towards the requester? Uh? And 1001 00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,880 Speaker 1: this found more evidence of the ben Franklin effect. Quote. 1002 00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,640 Speaker 1: In an experiment, both Japanese and American participants who were 1003 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:36,040 Speaker 1: asked for help from a confederate increase their liking of 1004 00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,840 Speaker 1: the confederate relative to the baseline. Social impression of the 1005 00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,960 Speaker 1: confederate and perceived closeness of the relationship also increased relative 1006 00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,840 Speaker 1: to baseline. However, there was an interesting twist. There was 1007 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,320 Speaker 1: no measurable increase when you do a favor for somebody 1008 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,640 Speaker 1: without them asking, So it seemed like at least in 1009 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,680 Speaker 1: this experiment, again might not be generalizable, but in this 1010 00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,040 Speaker 1: study it was the act of asking for the favor 1011 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,160 Speaker 1: that was crucially important in securing the change of attitude. 1012 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,080 Speaker 1: If you just do somebody a favor without them asking, 1013 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,840 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem to change anything alright, So, so it's not. 1014 00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,719 Speaker 1: For instance, if you come up to your boss and 1015 00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:14,439 Speaker 1: you're like, hey, here's here's a good book. You should 1016 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,480 Speaker 1: read this, you should borrow it. Yeah, I'm gonna lend 1017 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,520 Speaker 1: it to you. Not gonna have the same effect if 1018 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,360 Speaker 1: the boss came to you and said, hey, can I 1019 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,879 Speaker 1: buy that book? Right? If this one is the more 1020 00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,360 Speaker 1: generalizable effect, it would be that you're you're more likely 1021 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,600 Speaker 1: to like the boss more if they ask you. Um. So, 1022 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,160 Speaker 1: these effects would seem to support the humanization explanation rather 1023 00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:36,120 Speaker 1: than the cognitive dissonance reduction explanation. But there's other research 1024 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:39,200 Speaker 1: in favor of the general idea behind the cognitive dissonance 1025 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,880 Speaker 1: reduction interpretation, showing that we tend to form our opinions 1026 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,880 Speaker 1: of people in ways that justify the ways we have 1027 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:50,080 Speaker 1: already treated them. For example, there are studies showing that 1028 00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:54,040 Speaker 1: if you force people by experimental conditions to insult and 1029 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,440 Speaker 1: say mean things to a person's face, you will subsequently 1030 00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,600 Speaker 1: find that the people who were forced to say the 1031 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,319 Speaker 1: mean thing is like the people they insulted, less than 1032 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:06,239 Speaker 1: they did before, less than they would on average otherwise. Um, 1033 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,400 Speaker 1: and so I think this fits pretty well with everyday experience, 1034 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,040 Speaker 1: like how often have you noticed Bob do something thoughtlessly 1035 00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,360 Speaker 1: harmful to Jeff and then afterwards, when forced to think 1036 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,880 Speaker 1: about the fact that he did something harmful to Jeff, 1037 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,520 Speaker 1: subsequently like start coming up with reasons why Jeff is 1038 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:25,959 Speaker 1: trash and he deserved it. And I feel like I've 1039 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:29,000 Speaker 1: I've read examples of this in workplace scenarios as well, 1040 00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:33,440 Speaker 1: like what happens when employers are, you know, forced to 1041 00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:38,520 Speaker 1: some degree to employe harsher measures on employees, such as 1042 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,520 Speaker 1: head count reductions or you know, the removal of benefits 1043 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,280 Speaker 1: that sort of thing, and then like there's this sometimes 1044 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,920 Speaker 1: there's this justification process that moves in. It's exactly like this, right, 1045 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:52,680 Speaker 1: you justify your maltreatment by revising your opinions of these 1046 00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:55,640 Speaker 1: people and making them seem worse in your own mind. 1047 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,840 Speaker 1: And that would fit with the cognitive dissonance reduction model. 1048 00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,280 Speaker 1: And if that model of the Ben Franklin effect has 1049 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,160 Speaker 1: any truth to it, I think it would seem to 1050 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,120 Speaker 1: fit with models of the self similar to like Michael 1051 00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:10,160 Speaker 1: Kazaniga and Joseph Ladue's left brain interpreter theory. The idea 1052 00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,160 Speaker 1: that our self comes from a part of the brain 1053 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,080 Speaker 1: in the left hemisphere that observes our behavior and then 1054 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,400 Speaker 1: tells itself a story to try to make sense of it. 1055 00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:24,840 Speaker 1: In other words, you don't cause your actions, your body acts, 1056 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,200 Speaker 1: and then you tell yourself a narrative to make sense 1057 00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:29,840 Speaker 1: of it. Wow. You know this is one of those 1058 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,080 Speaker 1: things where you you you can apply this to the 1059 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:36,160 Speaker 1: mistreatment of of any group of people throughout history, and 1060 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:37,680 Speaker 1: you can see this kind of how this kind of 1061 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,880 Speaker 1: feedback effect works. Oh yeah, I think that this absolutely 1062 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:44,120 Speaker 1: has broad like social and political ramifications. You can see 1063 00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:48,040 Speaker 1: it happening when when when one group inflicts pain on 1064 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:52,480 Speaker 1: another group, there's often an accompanying dehumanization of the group 1065 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,320 Speaker 1: that's getting the pain inflicted on them. And I think 1066 00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,360 Speaker 1: that's that's probably a cognitive dissonance reduction thing. It's coming 1067 00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:02,200 Speaker 1: up with narratives that just by the bad behavior. And 1068 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,400 Speaker 1: uh so, yeah, when when your actions and your feelings 1069 00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,960 Speaker 1: about a person don't match up, one solution under this 1070 00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:12,160 Speaker 1: theory to reduce this friction in your brain is just 1071 00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:14,320 Speaker 1: to update your feelings about the person. So if you 1072 00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,640 Speaker 1: treated somebody nice, you start to like them more. If 1073 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:21,040 Speaker 1: you treated somebody bad, you start to like them less. Now, 1074 00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,280 Speaker 1: bringing it all back to the to the subject matter 1075 00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:25,040 Speaker 1: at hand, why did I bring this up in the 1076 00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:29,200 Speaker 1: context of discussing gratitude. It's simply because I was wondering 1077 00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:36,440 Speaker 1: if practicing gratitude interventions generalizes the Ben Franklin effect by 1078 00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:40,600 Speaker 1: turning it inward, if by like observing the ways that 1079 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,840 Speaker 1: the world has treated you nicely, that it can have 1080 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,960 Speaker 1: positive psychological effects by sort of like self been franklin 1081 00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:52,360 Speaker 1: ing and seeing yourself as well, maybe there are ways 1082 00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,120 Speaker 1: in which I'm worthy of good fortune. Al Right, so 1083 00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:59,520 Speaker 1: instead of suddenly changing your opinion I've been Franklin, who 1084 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,840 Speaker 1: who asked for this the lending of this book. Yeah, 1085 01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:06,360 Speaker 1: you feel better about the world, about individuals, about uh, 1086 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:11,800 Speaker 1: you know, these various mundane and cosmic forces that we 1087 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,040 Speaker 1: contemplate when we exercise gratitude. Yeah, exactly. So I'm not 1088 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,600 Speaker 1: sure that that's what's operative here, but I wonder about that, 1089 01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,920 Speaker 1: and I would be interested if somebody could could find 1090 01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:25,760 Speaker 1: ways to like test this explanation hypothesis sort of is 1091 01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:30,760 Speaker 1: practicing gratitude does it lead to cognitive dissonance reduction strategies 1092 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:35,040 Speaker 1: in the brain that resolve toward an updated view of 1093 01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:38,400 Speaker 1: self worth and and uh you know, and and fitting 1094 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,840 Speaker 1: in with the cosmic order and with your friends and 1095 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:44,760 Speaker 1: family and all everything else around you. But then again, 1096 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I think this is we already mentioned this, 1097 01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,280 Speaker 1: but it's complicated by the fact that, at the same 1098 01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,200 Speaker 1: time that gratitude seems to increase feelings of self worth, 1099 01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:57,520 Speaker 1: it like specifically also asks you to not feel like 1100 01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,600 Speaker 1: you deserve everything good that's ever happened you and you 1101 01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:03,560 Speaker 1: know you just earned it all on your own. Uh. 1102 01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,120 Speaker 1: And I think it's that tension that makes gratitude such 1103 01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:09,200 Speaker 1: an interesting emotion. Yeah, yeah, And you know, I know 1104 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,440 Speaker 1: that some people listening this might think, all right, now 1105 01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,720 Speaker 1: I have all these selfish reasons to engage in gratitude. 1106 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,520 Speaker 1: But on one hand, that's fine, because we were talking 1107 01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:21,160 Speaker 1: about with this feedback between you know, between between action 1108 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:24,439 Speaker 1: and thought and uh and so forth, It's like, even 1109 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:28,400 Speaker 1: if your initial motivation is self selfish, it feels as 1110 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:32,680 Speaker 1: if the uh you know, the complex interplay here will 1111 01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:35,880 Speaker 1: take over. Um, you may enter into it selfishly, but 1112 01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,480 Speaker 1: then you know, assuming you know, there's uh, you know, 1113 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:44,720 Speaker 1: typical neurological conditions here, the gratitude will take over. Like 1114 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,520 Speaker 1: the the the effects seems to be potent enough. Uh 1115 01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:52,240 Speaker 1: and and part of the human experience in a broad sense, 1116 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,000 Speaker 1: so that you uh, you know, for whatever reason you 1117 01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,760 Speaker 1: say yes to it. Uh, it will do its thing 1118 01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:01,440 Speaker 1: once you let it into you totally gratitude, humility, fake 1119 01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:03,840 Speaker 1: it till you make it. Yeah. Yeah. Well of course. 1120 01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:07,400 Speaker 1: The other thing too, is that we speak of gratitude exercises, 1121 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,880 Speaker 1: and I think you can think of them like exercise. 1122 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,320 Speaker 1: You don't want to run on a treadmill once a 1123 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:16,680 Speaker 1: year at the end of Thanksgiving, right you? You? And likewise, 1124 01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:20,520 Speaker 1: you don't want to just exercise gratitude once a year 1125 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:22,920 Speaker 1: or twice or a year or whatever. Like most of 1126 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,080 Speaker 1: the research seems to say that it didn't. It needs 1127 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,360 Speaker 1: to be something that is engaged with on a regular basis. Uh, 1128 01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,520 Speaker 1: you know, it's to sort of refresh the psyche. I 1129 01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:35,160 Speaker 1: will say this is one where the overall gist of 1130 01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:38,560 Speaker 1: the research fits very much with my own anecdotal experience. 1131 01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:41,720 Speaker 1: I I try whenever I remember, and I just succeed 1132 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,520 Speaker 1: pretty often to actively practice gratitude. Uh. And I guess 1133 01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,160 Speaker 1: this won't be unusual to a lot of people who 1134 01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:50,240 Speaker 1: have like religious practices right regularly, you know, like pray 1135 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:54,240 Speaker 1: and thank God for their blessings or some equivalent of that. Uh. 1136 01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:56,360 Speaker 1: You know, I I do a secular kind of thing. 1137 01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,200 Speaker 1: I like to just when I can remember to write 1138 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,800 Speaker 1: down or say out loud nice things that I have 1139 01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,160 Speaker 1: benefited from and recognize them and take stock. And I 1140 01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,560 Speaker 1: will say it is a in my experience, an extremely 1141 01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:13,000 Speaker 1: useful psychologically cleansing exercise. Yeah. And in our household, we 1142 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,960 Speaker 1: regularly have family meetings where each of we go around 1143 01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:17,520 Speaker 1: and you have to say hi, you have to say, 1144 01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,200 Speaker 1: you know, what was the highlight of your day, what 1145 01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:21,880 Speaker 1: was the challenge of your day? And also what are 1146 01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:23,960 Speaker 1: you looking forward to? And what are you thankful for? 1147 01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,360 Speaker 1: And uh, And I think that's a go good way 1148 01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,120 Speaker 1: to go about it, particularly if you you have a 1149 01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:32,200 Speaker 1: you know, family scenario and you know, perhaps a small child. 1150 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:36,160 Speaker 1: Like that's a level of of thankfulness exercise that I 1151 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:39,439 Speaker 1: think is very achievable. I think that's probably I mean, 1152 01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm not a child psychologist or anything, but I think 1153 01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:44,240 Speaker 1: that's got to be incredibly important for a child to 1154 01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:46,920 Speaker 1: see that kind of behavior modeled and to participate in it. 1155 01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,840 Speaker 1: I mean as we were saying earlier, like, there's nothing 1156 01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:54,919 Speaker 1: more disgusting than seeing a really ungrateful child, Like even 1157 01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:56,880 Speaker 1: though you know, we were all like that where we 1158 01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,120 Speaker 1: had those If you observe a child at some point 1159 01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:01,360 Speaker 1: or another, you will they're of an ungrateful child because 1160 01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,600 Speaker 1: they are they are learning all of this social complexity. 1161 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,160 Speaker 1: It's a natural tendency, but it's one of the gratefulness 1162 01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,120 Speaker 1: I think is one of the most important things for 1163 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:12,800 Speaker 1: children to be socialized into as early as possible. Yeah, 1164 01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:15,560 Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna go and close it up there. 1165 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:19,400 Speaker 1: But you know, obviously this is an episode that everyone 1166 01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:20,919 Speaker 1: is going to have some feedback on, so we would 1167 01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:23,280 Speaker 1: love to hear from everyone else about your relationship with 1168 01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:26,600 Speaker 1: gratitude you think about it, uh, your relationship with Thanksgiving 1169 01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:30,880 Speaker 1: even you know, hopefully we've provided some you know, from 1170 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,200 Speaker 1: food for thought as you engage in this year's feast. 1171 01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,000 Speaker 1: In the meantime, if you want to check out other 1172 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,040 Speaker 1: episodes of Stuff to Blow your Mind, head, don't over 1173 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,560 Speaker 1: to Stuff to Blow your Mind dot com. That's where 1174 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,640 Speaker 1: we'll find them all. You also find them wherever you 1175 01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,720 Speaker 1: get your podcasts and wherever that happens to be just 1176 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,840 Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe to ensure you get future episodes, 1177 01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,400 Speaker 1: and also leave us a nice review if you like that. 1178 01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:54,080 Speaker 1: That helps us out. Um all, if you wanted to 1179 01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:56,920 Speaker 1: check out our other show, Invention, uh, that's an Invention 1180 01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,160 Speaker 1: pod dot com And indeed Benjamin Franklin I think has 1181 01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,240 Speaker 1: shown up in some epis, so it's there as well. 1182 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,280 Speaker 1: And if you want a little uh sci fi horror 1183 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,200 Speaker 1: for your holiday listening, uh, the second oil age. All 1184 01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:10,880 Speaker 1: the episodes are out, so you can binge that puppy now. Oh. 1185 01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,320 Speaker 1: In shirts, I should also mention, uh, if you go 1186 01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,080 Speaker 1: to stuff to Blow your Mind dot com, you'll find 1187 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:18,680 Speaker 1: a tab for our merch store, and indeed there are 1188 01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:22,800 Speaker 1: shirts there with things like squirrels and basilists and our logo. 1189 01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:25,120 Speaker 1: And there's a new shirt as well as kind of 1190 01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:27,960 Speaker 1: a treasure map kind of scenario. I think I think 1191 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:31,840 Speaker 1: it was from our Sea Monster Sea Monster Sea Monster shirt, 1192 01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:33,520 Speaker 1: So a new one of those to check out. And 1193 01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,440 Speaker 1: I believe there are some Thanksgiving Black Friday deals in 1194 01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:38,640 Speaker 1: play as well, so now's a good time to pick 1195 01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:41,560 Speaker 1: something up. If you are so inclined, absolutely dive into 1196 01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,880 Speaker 1: the merch pit and mash as hard as you can. 1197 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,080 Speaker 1: And of course one more thing, since we were talking 1198 01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:49,640 Speaker 1: about gratitude, really have to express our gratitude to you, 1199 01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:54,080 Speaker 1: the listeners, because without you, none of this is really possible. 1200 01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:58,280 Speaker 1: It's true though, UH and I as always express my 1201 01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:01,800 Speaker 1: great gratitude, our great gratitude to our excellent audio producer 1202 01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:05,040 Speaker 1: Seth Nicholas Johnson, who makes it all possible absolutely. If 1203 01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:06,560 Speaker 1: you would like to get in touch with us with 1204 01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,160 Speaker 1: feedback on this episode or any other, to suggest a 1205 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,440 Speaker 1: topic for the future, or just to say hello, you 1206 01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,320 Speaker 1: can email us at contact at stuff to Blow your 1207 01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:23,560 Speaker 1: Mind dot com. Stuff to Blow Your Mind is a 1208 01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:26,360 Speaker 1: production of iHeart Radios. How Stuff Works. For more podcasts 1209 01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,280 Speaker 1: from my Heart Radio is at the iHeart Radio app, 1210 01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:40,320 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.