WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Maller the Studio Slayer 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:05.480 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:09.240 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.920 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:15.800 crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:20.200 pill poppers in the penthouse, the Clearinghouse of hot takes 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:24.080 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:33.800 Maller starts right now in the a every Way back 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:39.680 at It, the podcast do Joe, No day is off? Well, 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:42.440 that's actually not true. There were some days off. I'll 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.880 explain what that's all about. You'll hear that here. You 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:48.000 didn't hear that anywhere else, But here we are because 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:51.159 four hours a night are not enough. It's the Fifth 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:55.920 Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G Radio, the secret 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:59.040 star of Covino and Rich and he hangs out with 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:01.960 us on the weekends here eight days a week, eight 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.600 days a week. No, you should have the nervous hearts. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.360 And he's not He's not really Danny G anymore. He's 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:14.199 he's soon to be Daddy G Radio, his new radio Lodikerdy. 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.520 Everything good with that? I mean now, every time I 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:22.399 open up Twitter, I see Daddy G all over the place. Yeah, 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:24.720 your new thing. People love it. Man, that's the way 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:28.880 to go. It's like when Snoop Dogg changed his name 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:33.560 Rosy Snoop Lyon or something like that. Yeah, that lasted 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:37.480 about as long as his Steelers fandom. Yeah, we'll just 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:40.560 make sure it doesn't go the way of Kanye when 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.080 he became yee and became like a Nazi. You don't. 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:44.759 You don't want to go down that road. You don't. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:46.600 You want to try to avoid that as much as 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.640 you can, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I don't 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.360 think any of us have anything to worry about in 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:57.880 regards to having that sort of meltdown. Highly unlikely. You 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.600 most likely have to do a lot of things up 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.280 in those Hollywood Hills, a lot of a lot of 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.280 pharmaceuticals up in those Hollywood Hills for that to be 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:10.520 the case. So before we get into the nonsense on 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:12.920 the podcast, I would like to point out that I 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:15.280 was not on my watch post on Thursday. I know 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.640 we had Thursday into Friday. I know we had Benny 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:22.480 Versus depending on that um, but just a programing. No, 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.000 as you know, I hate missing time, and but this 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:29.440 was scheduled in advance there's a family situation where is 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.320 no no, it's an it's a tribute to my father 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:37.560 who passed away a couple of years ago. And uh, 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:39.840 in the Jewish faith, you're supposed to have an unveiling 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:44.000 after a year. Well, actually, because of COVID, we couldn't 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:46.320 get everything all the ducks lined up in a row. 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:49.640 And plus there's some logistical issues with my my relatives, 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.640 my my brothers who lived outside the area in the 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:55.320 Midwest and the East coast, so everything everyone's in town. 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:57.960 And I felt like I would be a douche bag 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:00.200 if I didn't take some time off and spend time 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.040 with people who traveled from far away, and so that's 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:06.520 that's the reason. But after this weekend, I'll be back 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:08.959 to the normal nonsense and all that. So I just 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:10.280 want to get out of that out of the way, 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.200 and it's, you know, nothing bad. It's a tribute, and 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:13.919 I get to see some relatives I haven't seen a 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:17.080 long time. I've got people flying in from three time 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.639 zones I believe three or four time zones, so it's 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:23.800 pretty pretty neat to see people haven't seen in sometime. 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.960 With that being said, on this podcast, wait wait, don't 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.440 bury the lead. What's that? What's that? Relatives who dissed 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:34.040 you at Disneyland last time? Are they part of this? No, 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.480 they somehow did not make it out. They did not 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.560 did not make the trip. But there are others that 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:43.640 didn't diss me that have decided to make the sojourn 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:48.280 to the winter wonderland of southern California. So we've got 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:54.240 what a dinghy sea world he Man hop goes the 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.360 culture and back scratchers. So we got a lot of 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.920 content for you and you always have to listen to 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.840 And people were emailing me, Danny that we we dropped 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.560 a few bombshells at the end of the Saturday podcast 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:07.640 that they had to listen all the way through and 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:09.840 if they hadn't, if they hadn't listened to the very end, 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:13.800 they would have missed it. Yeah. Yeah, we really do 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.640 save the best for last. Yeah. Sometimes we screw up 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.200 and save that. We bury, don't bury the leave Mama 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:21.719 hand and everyone in a while, we bury lead. So 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.640 we begin this podcast with a trip back in time 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:29.960 the week that was this being Saturday, as we are 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:32.600 dropping the podcast on Saturday. You can listen whenever you want, 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:35.000 but this is the life of Mallard and the Life 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:36.720 of Danny g And I gotta tell you we are 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:40.920 really international men of mystery, Danny being big time radio personalities. 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.600 We're living the dream. We really are living the dream. 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:45.760 Actually it's kind of scary, but that was my dream. 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.560 The lesson is to dream bigger, right Danny. When you're 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.240 a kid, you know, dream of being a hedge fund 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:57.320 titan or something like that. But it was a wild week. 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.000 Everyone I've run across he lives in this southern California area, 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:05.000 has all had amazing stories. It started on a rain 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:10.720 soaked a night on Sunday, but it wasn't that bad. 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.240 There was some drizzle, it wasn't really that bad. There 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.720 was there was another storm that came in on Monday. 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:21.679 Now I did not pay close attention to the television weather. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:24.720 I didn't watch the weather. I did see that there 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:30.719 was rain on my smartphone app and so in you know, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.160 as I looked at it was like, you know, it 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:35.120 was probably light rain. It's no big deal. I can 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:39.600 handle that. And also, in fairness, my wife her car 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:44.520 broke down again. We had another mallarmobile meltdown on the 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:46.920 way to work. So I did need to get out 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.440 of the house. I had to pick her up from 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.919 work after I got done with work, So that was 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:56.400 part of my motivation to leave the Mallard mansion. Nevertheless, 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:00.240 as you know, Danny, and you'll teach your son as 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.360 you are now, Daddy g Radio, you teach your son 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.640 when your son's older there that life is just a 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.680 series of choices, right. The ones you make now will 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.800 affect the next choices that you make. And if you 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:14.520 make bad choices and then you make more bad choices, 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.520 you end up in a bad situation. So I made 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:21.480 a really dumb decision, a tactical era, a strategic mistake, 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.279 as sun Zoo would say. And I learned a valuable 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:30.839 lesson that they say that rising tide raises all boats. Well, 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.960 rising water on the highway raises all cars. I learned 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.320 that very valuable lesson. It was like and I'm sure 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.080 you've got some stories on this, it was like demolition Derby, Danny. 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.920 It was a slipping slide and I'm coming all the 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.200 way from the north Woods. I got a long commute, 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:49.480 a very long commute, a lot of miles, a lot 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.680 of time in in l A and circumventing the highways 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:57.360 and byways of the l A Freeway system, which fortunately 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.000 at night when I come in, it's not too bad usually, 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:03.560 but you add a little rain on top and watch out. 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.000 So I'm on the If you're familiar with southern California, 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:08.480 those of you that most of our listeners are not 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.000 in l A, but on the one oh one Freeway, 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:16.960 which goes through downtown Los Angeles and slices through Hollywood 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.800 on its way to the San Fernando Valley. I was 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.360 on that part of it, which goes right through the 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:27.240 heart of downtown l A. And it's a very old freeway. 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:31.080 That part of it in l A is really old 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:35.400 and not designed for the modern automobile. And this was 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:38.720 one of the most terrible experiences I've ember had in 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.720 my life. I was convinced a couple of times I 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:44.800 was going to end up in a fiery crash, and 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.600 I didn't know whether I'd live or not. I was like, 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:51.560 oh my god, it was so bad. And here's how 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.200 bad it was, Danny, so right around. You're familiar with this, 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:56.680 so I'm in. I made it through downtown LA It 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:00.400 was not good, but it got even progressively. Versus I 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:09.920 got around Melrose sunset Hollywood like that area. I'm driving 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:13.360 in the middle lane. It's twenty miles an hour. Maybe 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:15.880 I think it's like fifteen twenty miles an hour. Everyone's 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:20.240 got their emergency flashers on. I had not seen that 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.680 level of rain in l A. I got've seen bad rain. 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:26.560 I've traveled to Buffalo and Wisconsin and Chicago and some 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:29.360 other places. I've seen some terrible in Boston, but I 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.640 never that's not normal in l A. I have not 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:39.959 seen that since elnno Eleno back in the in the nineties, 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:42.840 a long time ago. This is call it what you want, 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:45.959 bomb cyclone atmosphereic River was a lot of fucking rain, 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:47.520 is what it was. That's all I know. It was 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:52.600 a monsoon, typhoon whatever names don't matter. And so that 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:55.240 was really a dumb MOVI. I wear the shame the 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:57.280 bell of the shame bell on that that that was 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.920 a bad I'm driving through this deluge and I'm like, 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.559 what a dinghy. I should have brought my dinghy. I 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:05.800 would have been better off than in my car. And 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.240 and it's like years ago, I would have had no options. 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.559 But now ever since COVID and and since some other 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.360 stuff that I've done. I have a home studio. Now 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.360 I don't have to drive in the bad weather. I 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:16.480 feel bad for for the guys like you know you, 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:18.079 Danny and some of the other guys have no choice. 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:19.520 You have to be in the way like I have 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:23.560 an option and not driving in anyway. I will. I 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.200 will let everyone know. I want to let all the 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:28.160 affiliates and all the listeners know. From now on, I'm 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:31.520 gonna look at my weather app Danny. If I see 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:36.040 heavy rain, I am bunkering in place. I am not 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.760 leaving the Mallar mansion. I have officially become a pansy. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.360 I I have officially come a whuss. And that's it. 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.640 I guess I've become old Danny. I'm now that guy. 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.920 I'm now turning into my father who would never leave 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.679 the house when there was a drop of rain. And 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:58.280 I'm now becoming that guy. Yeah, you you really need 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:02.040 to just stay home and use your home studio when 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.679 there's a monsoon. You're on this podcast before, I mentioned 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:10.200 that one lady in my neighborhood who attacks any mailman, 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:17.640 any ups driver, DHL ups, FedEx, it doesn't matter the 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:22.600 driver's company. She hounds these guys because she's lonely, so 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:26.200 as soon as she sees a mail carrier, poor guy 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:29.760 gets trapped in a conversation with her. And we have 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:33.800 overheard her glorious conversations and they all start like this, 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:42.880 can you believe this weather we're having? And my wife 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.720 he always shakes her head like that poor guy. She 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.400 she's like Jesus, I would just drive away and like 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:52.840 leeve her standing there because she's never shuts up. It 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.080 was awesome, Ben, because one of the days where the 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.600 rain was coming down so heavy, she was out there 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.559 with a raincoat, still trying to talk to one of 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:08.920 the mail carriers. Relentless, relentless, beyond yeah the word to 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:15.880 describe it. She's like to wahwa, she's in a puddle 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.880 up to her the top of her socks. That's some persvent. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.040 She's not on social media, like there's ways you can 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.280 talk to people. You don't have to be that tenacious 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.720 to talk to the mailman. And she must like that 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:29.480 face to face conversation. She must be a fan of that. 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:33.240 Uh yeah, yeah. So the day after, on Tuesday morning, 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:37.520 my school district opened back up. All right, But now 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:39.920 you know from Ben's story and from hearing about her 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.960 in the puddle, still attacking the mail carriers. That we 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.719 did have a flood here in southern California. So we're 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.040 back at it for school. Tuesday morning, I get in, 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:55.160 I opened the campus. The janitor had worked over time, 0:11:55.600 --> 0:12:00.600 because there was yellow tape all over the campus blocking 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.960 off this puddle and that puddle, and this walkway and 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.600 that staircase. And you looked around but and it looked 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:13.000 like Spidy had been there shooting yellow yellow take webs. 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.040 And my first thought was, holy sh it, this is 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:21.440 gonna be a day that lives in infamy. A thousand 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:25.000 kids are about to show up and there are puddles 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:29.520 literally up to your thighs. This is not gonna be 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.480 an easy day or it's gonna be a fun day 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.560 for the kids. Yeah. Yeah, this is gonna be one 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.560 of those days where the adults are screaming their heads off. 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:42.200 As my mom would like to say, don't make me 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:49.400 scream my head off. You remember, I'm sure you remember 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.240 when you were a kid. I I'm sure you did 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:52.920 the same thing I did. Like, we didn't have a 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.200 lot of rainy days in California where I grew up. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.360 We're in a lot of rainy days and something California. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:01.560 But I remember faun only a few times it did 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:06.240 get rainy, and on recess, just fucking going for it. 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:11.640 Oh yeah, looking for the deepest puddle possible. Yeah, and 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:15.240 then all of us kids would do the long jump. Yeah. 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.760 It was so good, so good, especially when your mom 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.880 had those cheap rubber boots she would put over your shoes. 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.480 When you had those rubber boots on, you were untouchable. 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.920 When you had those rubber boots on, your iron Man, 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:30.800 you had your suit, You had your suit on, You're 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:34.840 ready to go, right. My mom would always tell us, you, guys, 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.160 the water can still get in through the top of 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:44.000 the boots. You're still ruining your shoes and socks. Care 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.439 So I'm thinking, all right, well, I got middle schoolers, 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:51.280 So chances that a sixth grader is going to break 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:55.520 these rules and get inside these yellow tape taped off areas. 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.360 I don't know what about the seventh graders. Eighth graders 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:03.480 probably think are too cool. It's the first day back, 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.960 so everybody is late. I was actually early because I 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:10.800 knew some ship was gonna go down the first couple 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.720 of kids arrive. Now I will change the name of 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.719 the kids here to protect the innocent and the guilty. 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:22.520 David and Sam are the first to arrive. Okay, you know, 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:24.960 one of them is reading a book, the other one 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:29.440 fires up the Nintendo system that's in the classroom. Everything 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:32.840 is chill, but now I get a call to open 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:36.720 up the front gate for another kid that arrives, because 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:40.040 they don't open up the front gate for everybody until 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:43.920 seven thirty am. So I make the walk through all 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.760 these puddles. Ben It's you know, it's one of those 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.480 things where in California we can always dip and dodge, 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.080 like there's a puddle there, to the right, to the left, 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:55.720 you can always walk around the puddles. Rain came down 0:14:55.920 --> 0:15:00.720 so crazy here. Everything was a huge puddle, so you 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.440 felt like you're in Minnesota, the Land of ten thousand Lakes. 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.120 They were like, there was no way to keep your 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.400 shoes and socks dry. So at this point, this is 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.360 my third walk to the front gate, my shoes and 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:16.520 socks are soaked, and I just gave up. At that point, 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.880 I'm like, well, it's a lost cause I'm gonna have 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.160 to change that stuff when I get home later. Get 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.880 to the front gate, let the third kid in and 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:29.920 we make the walk back to my classroom. Now, usually 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.440 I could leave David and Sam in there on their 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:36.040 own and it wouldn't be a problem on a normal day. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:39.520 But as me and the third student walk up, what 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:44.280 do we see? These two are out in front of 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:49.560 the classroom and they are both meat deep and one 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.600 of the puddles that has the yellow tape around it, yes, 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:57.480 and they are jumping up and down like little hooligans. 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.960 Ben it looked like a scene from Dances with Wolves 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:10.040 with outstanding, So what's your move here? You start yelling 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:12.840 at him, like what's the I mean, I didn't want 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:17.200 to be that guy, you know, because obviously that's a 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.920 fun thing for kids to see puddles that deep. I 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.800 thought to myself, they're probably never gonna see this again, 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:27.640 or maybe in one or what two times if they 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:31.320 stay here in southern California. I mean, I probably have 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.240 only seen that one other time here, and I've lived 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.600 in this area for a long time, So I didn't 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:40.400 want to take that joy away. You guys, First of all, 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:45.280 you need to stay in the classroom. Second, Sam, how 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.720 in the world are you gonna go to your first 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.280 class when you are that. So because I mean, he's 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:53.880 his jeans they looked like cutoffs now because they were 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:58.560 two colors, blue jeans and black from the knees down. 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:02.560 So did he have to do the call of shame 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:06.200 to his mom? And said, yeah, ding ding ding. So 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.680 I told him, I'm like, I'm not gonna make the call. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.000 You're gonna make the call. So I let him use 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.639 the phone at my desk. He had to call his 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.560 parents to bring him a change of clothes. And he's 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.200 a seventh grader by the way. Yeah, so this seventh 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:24.480 grader went for it. He had to, uh have his 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.800 dad bring him a change of clothes. His dad must 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:30.400 have loved that coming back to the school and uh 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:34.919 And luckily David had on some rubber boots that his 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:38.680 mom gave him and his pants weren't as wet as Sam's, 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:42.520 so he avoided the call of shame. But yeah, man, 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.919 to watch those kids jumping up and down in that 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.639 huge puddle something I'm never gonna forget. So it was 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:52.439 like SeaWorld basically, right. It was like it was it 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:56.280 was like two whales in the water. Wow, that's outstanding 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:06.080 down by the schoolyard. I wanted to go back. After 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.920 my adventure on Noah's Ark, Danny and we talked about 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.280 you had a similar experience with hydroplaning, right you were 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.960 driving in You're telling me that off the off the air, 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:17.880 but the torrential rain. So I don't work complaining about 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.920 the weather like total you know, you know what, losers. 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:24.480 But when I did get to the studio, I had 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:26.520 a couple of hiccups, and I have a feeling that 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:30.680 my hiccups affected you, Danny, all right, and and Cavino 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.840 and Rich and I'm gonna come clean here. This is 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:37.040 like a confessional, is what this is? All right? So 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.080 I had a pretty interesting night. I don't think of 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:44.280 myself as the strongest guy in the world now. As always, 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.240 when I show up on a Sunday night into a 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.360 Monday morning, I am greeted, And you know this because 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.360 used to work that shift, greeted by the rich aroma 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:56.199 of rotting flesh, rotting trash. It is the smell that 0:18:56.280 --> 0:19:00.600 I associate with those studios, the smell of raw, h 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.240 random food from the weekend. And I don't know what 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:05.720 these people are eating on the weekends. I don't know 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.560 you're there during the weekends. Sometimes but it's it's some 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:15.120 combination of chicken, beef, fish and spices and vegetables rotting 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:21.600 by the time I get in, and it's just fascinating cans. 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:24.760 So I am so used to that smell. I feel 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:26.919 like I worked for the sanitation department. I mean, I hear, 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:29.960 I get that smell every week. So needless to say, 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:32.800 pee you you know that what stinks and and all that. 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:37.240 So I cruise in and I start the weekday line 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:39.720 up after Chris Plank and and Arnie Spanish a couple 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.320 of my guys, uh the wonderful job on Sunday night. 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:46.760 And after they get done, a stinking genius turns off 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.000 the mic. I flipped the lights. I try to flip 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.600 the lights on to set the mood prior to the 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.879 top of the hour when I start the show eleven 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:56.560 o'clock in the west. Who I am in the east? 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:00.119 So I noticed the light next to my chair are 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:02.640 where I normally sit on the far end of the studio, 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:05.919 is not on, and I'm flipping the switch back and 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:10.040 forth and it's not turned on. So I'm I'm looking 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:13.959 around the room and I'm processing everything, and I'm like, okay, 0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:17.520 I'm tall enough. This is one of my advantages. Use 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:21.440 your strengths. So I'm like, I'll just stand up straight 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:24.359 and I'll reach up and I'll twist the light because 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:27.600 it's probably just a little loose, and I'll twist the 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.479 light and that'll fix it. So I get over to 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.600 where I need to go. I stand up, I stretched 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:34.840 my arm out, I grabbed the light. These are very 0:20:34.880 --> 0:20:37.359 hot lights. But it wasn't working. So I was like, 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.080 who cares? So I grabbed the light and I twisted 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:42.440 a little bit, and then I go back to turn 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:46.159 it on and it doesn't work. So I'm like, all right, 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:47.879 maybe I need to twist it the other way. So 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:49.800 I go back and I attempt to twist it the 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:54.720 other way. At this point, Danny, I grabbed, I twisted, 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:59.560 and boom, the thing falls off in my hands from 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:03.840 the sea. I've not I've now ripped the damn light 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:08.680 off the ceiling and um, and so you know, I'm like, well, 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:12.000 this is wonderful, right, And so this is like a 0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:14.680 minute before the show starts. I'm like, oh boy, I 0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:16.600 tried to get it back. I would not go back on. 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:19.280 So now we get to the show and I do 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:22.320 the show that's fine, the show works whatever. And then 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.200 we get to the end of the show and I'm 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:27.679 cleaning up my notes and my papers and my my 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:31.159 headphones and my mic condom and all this crap, the 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:34.920 random ship that I bring as we curse on the podcast. 0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:37.879 I'm closing out my computer. I'm closing out all the windows. 0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:41.840 I'm getting things ready for Jonas, Knox, LaVar Arrington, and 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:44.159 Brady Quit. Brady was actually intent. He usually does the 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.960 show from Florida, but he was in town, so as 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:51.760 I am, I'm pushing the microphone back where it needs 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:55.879 to be for Jonas, and it's a little crooked, so 0:21:55.960 --> 0:22:01.680 I had to twist the microphone. I think. Know what happened? Yeah, 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.840 I didn't know. You didn't though, So I had to 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.800 twist the microphone. Right, So I twist the microphone, and 0:22:07.960 --> 0:22:12.640 somehow I I turned into either he Man or Quasi 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:16.879 Modo or the abominable snow Man. I was the YETI 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:21.119 I was Goliath. I was all of these things. Suddenly 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:26.760 I find myself holding the thousand dollar microphone in my 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:31.080 hand as it is falling off the mic arm. So 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:33.520 then I'm thinking. Initially, Danny, I'm thinking, well, that's fine, 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.560 I'll just put it back on the mine. But then 0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:41.040 the plastic, it's cheap, shitty plastic from God only knows 0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:47.040 where the plastic had snapped, So no idea. I did 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:51.119 not use that much force. I know. I like to 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:53.359 brag about how, you know, I'm the size of a 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.800 mack truck and all that, but I literally just used 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:03.200 a little force the thing comes falling off. So I 0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:07.720 guess I, like he Man, I had super human strength 0:23:07.840 --> 0:23:10.439 and the endurance and all that, and I didn't have 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:15.160 to hoist the gray skull castle or anything like that. 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:19.160 But this was some kind of interdimensional portal, Danny, because 0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:22.160 I don't know what the hell happened in the span 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:24.520 of four hours. I too, I took down a light 0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:28.960