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Speaker 1: Hello, Gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, La La, Hello, gorgeous,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala. I had

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Speaker 1: so many amazing questions come in from the last Q

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Speaker 1: and A that we did that I said, bucket round two,

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Speaker 1: let's freakin go. And what I loved about them is

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Speaker 1: they were not what they usually are, which is like

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Speaker 1: very much based on Bravo and just the shows that

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Speaker 1: I have been on in the past, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is so refreshing to see like other questions come through.

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Speaker 1: So good job, y'all. Maria underscore Laflesh thirty one. I

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Speaker 1: hope I did not botch that I love you and Amber,

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Speaker 1: but want to know what being in a step what

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Speaker 1: being a step mom to her kids was like before friendship.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when I first fell into it, I was

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Speaker 1: very much in my addiction, so I don't know that

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Speaker 1: I showed up the way that I should have. And

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Speaker 1: when I say that, I just mean mentally, Like physically,

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Speaker 1: I was fine to show up when I was drinking,

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Speaker 1: but what happens when you're I guess my kind of

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Speaker 1: alcoholic mentally and emotionally you're just a little bit vacant.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know that because they were so young,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that they knew if I was under

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Speaker 1: the influence or not, which I usually was. And truth

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Speaker 1: be told, as a mom, now, if somebody were drinking

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Speaker 1: like I was drinking, I would not allow them around

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Speaker 1: my child, my kids, like it just would not be happening.

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Speaker 1: But once I got sober, and you have to remember

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Speaker 1: I was with them and him longer sober than I

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Speaker 1: was drinking. I got sober pretty early on in the relationship,

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Speaker 1: which is great. So after I got sober, I became

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Speaker 1: very much a homebody and I was very into building

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Speaker 1: a family unit, and just my values and the way

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Speaker 1: I looked at life really really shifted. And I understood, like,

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm an entertainment and we live a very

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Speaker 1: untraditional life with him being a movie producer, and we're

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Speaker 1: just on the go and it's my norm, but this

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Speaker 1: is not a normal life. I wanted to create as

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Speaker 1: much normalcy as I possibly could, not only for these kids,

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Speaker 1: but for myself. So step mothering entailed, you know, times

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Speaker 1: where I would pick them up from school. I know

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Speaker 1: Amber has spoken about this a lot London really struggled

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Speaker 1: with school, and the way she learned was very different

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Speaker 1: than most. I mean, I related because school was not

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Speaker 1: my forte. So I would order like all of these

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Speaker 1: books and things to try and help her during the

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Speaker 1: summertime to kind of keep her on par with the

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Speaker 1: rest of her class. We did a lot of face masks,

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Speaker 1: a lot of movie nights, a lot of popcorn in

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Speaker 1: the bed. I kind of did the same things with

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Speaker 1: them that I did or that I do with Ocean,

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Speaker 1: Like they were my I don't want to it doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel right calling them a practice run because they weren't

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Speaker 1: a practice run. They prepared me to be a mom

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Speaker 1: to my own kids, which I am forever grateful for.

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Speaker 1: That's what it looked like. It was very sweet. I

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Speaker 1: mean a lot of sleeping in the bed together and

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Speaker 1: just being girls and having girl time. Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: wild to think how old they are now and like

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Speaker 1: full on humans, talking about boys and going toes with

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Speaker 1: other chicks. I'm like, what how time goes by so quickly?

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Speaker 1: And you guys know how I feel about time. D

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Speaker 1: I underscore JW underscore eighty Who does O travel with?

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Speaker 1: I love that you called her, Oh that just shows

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Speaker 1: me me and my audience are thick. Who does she

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Speaker 1: travel with when she goes between you and the other

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Speaker 1: person My exes usually, as you guys know, he primarily

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Speaker 1: lives in Miami, and he has a rental that he

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Speaker 1: kind of pops into in La when Ocean can't leave

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Speaker 1: because she's obviously in school. So when she travels to him,

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Speaker 1: like right now, she's in New York and she's going

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Speaker 1: to go to Ohio with him, we were in Newport

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Speaker 1: and a nanny comes and grabs her and they fly

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Speaker 1: off together, and that's who brings her back as well.

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Speaker 1: It's never him. It's always a nanny that I'm dealing with,

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Speaker 1: which I'm grateful for that she's able to fucking do that,

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Speaker 1: because really, who can Just like, well, I guess this

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Speaker 1: is her main job. So, I mean, there's this one

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Speaker 1: nanny that we used to have, you guys, and her

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Speaker 1: job primarily is flying kids back and forth in co

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Speaker 1: parenting situation. Like what a wild job? Right? I saw

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Speaker 1: her the other day. I was like, I haven't seen

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Speaker 1: you forever, Like, what have you been doing? She goes,

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Speaker 1: I literally pick kids up, take them, travel them to

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Speaker 1: wherever they need to go drop them off with the

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Speaker 1: other parent, get back on a plane and fly home.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that sounds like I would need to be

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Speaker 1: beta blocked the whole time. Like traveling that much, jumping

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Speaker 1: across country on a whim for a drop off and

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Speaker 1: then to go back home. You're terrippin', Anna Dina bros

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Speaker 1: says dating young men versus dating older Coming from a

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Speaker 1: forty year old single woman, she's forty, this is what

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Speaker 1: I have noticed. Older men are great at the beginning.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh my gosh, this is how I want

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Speaker 1: to be treated, like they know what's up, and they

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Speaker 1: tell you, you know, that they love your independence and that

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Speaker 1: you have your own thing going on. And then as

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Speaker 1: time goes on and your independence is seen and you

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Speaker 1: doing your own thing is seen, they become very controlling.

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Speaker 1: Now this is a blanketed statement, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: anyone who's younger and with an older man to come

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Speaker 1: for me and say I'm with an older man and

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Speaker 1: it's not like that at all. Great, then guess what,

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Speaker 1: your man not a part of the equation, and good

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Speaker 1: for you. Sign me up for whatever you've got going on.

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Speaker 1: The older men that I have dealt with this is

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Speaker 1: what happens the younger dudes. Although you're going to have

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Speaker 1: to sacrifice a little bit when it comes to like

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Speaker 1: the emotional maturity. You can train them, you can teach

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Speaker 1: them some things. They're also down for whatever in the

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Speaker 1: bedroom because they want to be taught, right. But also

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Speaker 1: when they say they love that you're independent and do

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Speaker 1: your own thing, they don't ever feel threatened and they

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Speaker 1: don't feel like they want to control. They actually like

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Speaker 1: allow you to go and do your thing because they're

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Speaker 1: young and they want to have their own thing and

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Speaker 1: they're gaining their independence. So that's what I would say

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Speaker 1: if we could have a blend of the two, Like

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Speaker 1: whoever has like an older man who is emotionally available,

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Speaker 1: knows how to communicate and also means when he says

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Speaker 1: I love your independence and you have your own thing

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Speaker 1: going on, he like means that and his actions show that,

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Speaker 1: like that's what I want. Hold on to that man

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Speaker 1: real tight. But I'm telling you what. I was dating

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Speaker 1: this younger guy and everything was fucking amazing until it

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Speaker 1: came down to like the basics of emotional communication, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I am really saying that you

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Speaker 1: are young. But then there was a twenty six year

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Speaker 1: old who was fucking phenomenal. I communication and very emotionally available, intelligent,

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Speaker 1: and that was the youngest dude that I've ever dated

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Speaker 1: is twenty six. So you know what, these are not

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Speaker 1: hard and fast rules. JF. Artisan says, what's something you're

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Speaker 1: working on within yourself that most people wouldn't think. What

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Speaker 1: I have noticed, this is what I'm like working on internally,

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Speaker 1: is when you have gone through something traumatic with another person,

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Speaker 1: even though you are over it and it doesn't live

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Speaker 1: with you every day. I've noticed that the scars that

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Speaker 1: it leaves behind, which you only realize the scars when

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Speaker 1: you're dealing with another person. I took years off of

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Speaker 1: dating and dealing with men, and mostly because I had

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Speaker 1: sworn them off, and then I just at the beginning

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Speaker 1: of the year decided, you know, this is no way

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Speaker 1: to live. I want companionship, like I know, I want

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Speaker 1: to find my person, and I open myself up to that.

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Speaker 1: Since doing that, I have had and then come into

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Speaker 1: my life, and I have noticed when things happen with

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Speaker 1: them that may be very normal for a woman who

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Speaker 1: doesn't have the wounds or the scars that I have.

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Speaker 1: I tap into a trauma response and I go into

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Speaker 1: sabotaging something and I lack communication and my initial response

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Speaker 1: is not just fight or flight, it's fight and flight,

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Speaker 1: like we're doing both. I need to make sure that

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Speaker 1: I hurt you before you hurt me, and I leave

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Speaker 1: you before you leave me. It is. It has been

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Speaker 1: my biggest fear, and I've talked about it in interviews.

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Speaker 1: Before I open myself up to dating, I said, you know,

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Speaker 1: my fear is that I meet a really amazing man,

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Speaker 1: and because I haven't dealt with my own trauma, I

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Speaker 1: sabotage it. And then we had a woman and I

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Speaker 1: talk about this all the time. We had a doctor

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, a therapist, and she does a lot

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Speaker 1: of couple's therapy, and I brought this up to her

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Speaker 1: and I remember her saying she was on an unlikely

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Speaker 1: affair with Amber and I. Her name's Melissa Thompson. If

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Speaker 1: you haven't listened to that episode, go back and listen

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Speaker 1: to it. She also specializes in long distance relationships, which

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Speaker 1: I really do prefer. I love a long distance relationship.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'm insane, but I said what my fears are,

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Speaker 1: and she told me, there's only so much healing you

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Speaker 1: can do on your own before you have to allow

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Speaker 1: someone in to help you heal those wounds and give

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Speaker 1: you different experiences. And it's happened a couple times where

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Speaker 1: my trauma response has really fucked things up with the

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Speaker 1: person that I am digging, And it's both of our faults.

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Speaker 1: It's my fault for not being able to communicate what

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Speaker 1: I'm going through and just you know, going all in

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Speaker 1: ten too's down full la la, But it's also on

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Speaker 1: them because they're not or maybe it's not on them,

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Speaker 1: maybe they're just not ready and they don't want to deal.

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Speaker 1: And I completely understand that. I don't know that I

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Speaker 1: would want to deal. It's like, you got a lot

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Speaker 1: of shit to figure out, Like I wish you the best.

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Speaker 1: But that's something I'm working on within myself that most

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Speaker 1: people don't know, is how do I allow not a

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Speaker 1: friendship because I haven't really I haven't been wounded beyond

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Speaker 1: belief with friendship? How do I let a man in

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Speaker 1: and not fuck it up with every trauma that I have?

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Speaker 1: And it's hard. This last go around, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: retreat and say I'm never dating again, like it's not

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Speaker 1: worth it. This feeling is debilitating. But I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do that because I got to put the tools

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Speaker 1: that I've learned to use, you know, because what good

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Speaker 1: are they if I'm not fucking practicing and using them.

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Speaker 1: I can talk about them all day. These are the

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Speaker 1: tools and give you hypotheticals if this happened. This is

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Speaker 1: what I'm going to do. When you're placing the situation

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Speaker 1: and you have a going and your heart is involved,

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you what, any tool that you have goes

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Speaker 1: out the fucking window because you're in full on survival mode.

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Speaker 1: Roseanne Mardon, do you still have your house in Palm Springs?

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Speaker 1: I do. It's my safe haven. The moment you pull

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Speaker 1: in to Palm Springs and you see the windmills, which

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Speaker 1: I know anyone who's familiar with the desert, you feel

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Speaker 1: like you can breathe. In fact, I would really love

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Speaker 1: to be there right now because I feel like there's

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Speaker 1: an elephant on my chest from the regular episode and

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Speaker 1: talking about my mom. Easton's on his way to go

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Speaker 1: with her to the doctor right now, and I'm just

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to you guys, and my mind is here,

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Speaker 1: but I gotta be honest. My mind is a little

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Speaker 1: bit elsewhere as well. Ry Underscore Lee nine three seventeen.

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Speaker 1: Do you regret any of the work you have had done. No,

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Speaker 1: there have been moments that I have really regretted what

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Speaker 1: I had done. So the only time I've been under

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Speaker 1: the knife where it's full on plastic surgery is my

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Speaker 1: boob job, which I've been in so many different times

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Speaker 1: for my boobs, And then I had my ears pinned back.

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Speaker 1: I originally just had one pulled back, and I loved

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Speaker 1: her so much that I was like, throw the other

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Speaker 1: one back. There was a time where I overdid my

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Speaker 1: cheeks and my lips and put way too much botox

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Speaker 1: in my face and it felt so cat and duck

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Speaker 1: like all in one. I did not like my face.

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Speaker 1: I looked so freaking old. I ended up going in

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Speaker 1: and having my lips dissolved and the cheeks resolved dissolved,

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Speaker 1: and it did resolve the issue. You have to be

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Speaker 1: so careful with the filler, you guys, because it does

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Speaker 1: stay in your body. And I just know there have

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Speaker 1: been times where I've gone into just a place that

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Speaker 1: does injectables. It doesn't even have to be applied surgeon

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Speaker 1: where they're like, oh a little filler just right here,

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Speaker 1: like the tiniest bit is going to be gorgeous, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's not happening because it changes the

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Speaker 1: fucking look of your face. And also if you inject

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Speaker 1: the jaw too much, it makes you way too broad.

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Speaker 1: Filler freaks me out, which is why I always say

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Speaker 1: I will go to doctor Diamond for his uh diamond

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Speaker 1: facial sculpting because he lays that shit right on the

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Speaker 1: bone and he also will be honest with you. Again,

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Speaker 1: I talked about this in the normal episode. I talked

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Speaker 1: to him about my nose because I'm a psychopath, and

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Speaker 1: he told me to run if anyone will touch your nose,

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Speaker 1: I need you to run away from them. And he

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Speaker 1: doesn't overdo the botox, like I still have movement in

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Speaker 1: my forehead. I also love Lee, doctor Lee who uh

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Speaker 1: we had on the podcast for Unlikely, who talked about peptides.

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Speaker 1: Her name's Lee Godfrey at Skin Tied Aesthetics. I love

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Speaker 1: her for injectables, like she fuck knows what she's doing.

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Speaker 1: She's conquered the art. She does my lips so there's

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Speaker 1: nothing that I have injected in my face right now.

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Speaker 1: Where I go, I don't love that. When this podcast

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Speaker 1: was give Them La La, there were so many people

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Speaker 1: that commented on my face because they thought I overinjected it.

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Speaker 1: I actually had just gone to Disneyland the day before

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Speaker 1: and eaten so I ate so much salty food that

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Speaker 1: I was actually just really puffy from that to It

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Speaker 1: was so talked about in the clip that I actually

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Speaker 1: had to like do a video to show what my

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Speaker 1: face looked like post tons of water and just like

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Speaker 1: getting the sodium out of my body. But that is

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Speaker 1: prime example of what you can look like if you overinject.

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Speaker 1: Not good. You don't want to look like if I

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Speaker 1: put a needle in you, you would pop. Just be careful.

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Speaker 1: Kristin Shore twenty three, if you were to have another baby,

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Speaker 1: would you use the same donor as sosas if that

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Speaker 1: is a big if right now, you guys, I'm fucking exhausted.

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Speaker 1: She is owe me, but I would use the same

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Speaker 1: donor and SOS is so freaking gorgeous. The amount of

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Speaker 1: times people stop me and they're like, your baby's stunning,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, how did that happen? Like it's wild.

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Speaker 1: She's got these like big powdy lips, these gorgeous blue

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Speaker 1: eyes and like this hair that's not super blonde, but

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Speaker 1: it's not brown and it looks I had someone ask

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Speaker 1: me if I curl her hair. I'm like, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: not taking hot tools to my twenty two month old daughter. No,

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Speaker 1: it's natural. And then she's got the prettiest skin. Oh

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Speaker 1: she's gorgeous. Yes, definitely same donor. Herbie BK just wanted

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Speaker 1: you to know your podcast helps me when I'm feeling anxious.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I had to throw that in there because

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Speaker 1: when I'm feeling anxious, recording the podcast helps me. So

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Speaker 1: I'm happy we can be here for one another. Lindsay

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Speaker 1: Rogers do you think about Sosay's bio dad a lot?

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Speaker 1: Thirty five in single thinking of getting a donor. I

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Speaker 1: never think about him. Never. The only time he crosses

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Speaker 1: my mind is when people ask me about him. And

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Speaker 1: I actually love when he's asked about because people will say, like,

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Speaker 1: and I guess you don't know if she looks like

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Speaker 1: the biological dad, and then I'll pull up the little

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Speaker 1: kid pictures that I chose the donor, you know from

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Speaker 1: the profile, the two pictures that I saw, and at

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Speaker 1: the beginning she actually looked a lot like him. And

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Speaker 1: when I was in Newport, I had shown one of

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Speaker 1: my friends the donor photo and Sosa, I was like,

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Speaker 1: she looks so much like him. And then I looked

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, she acts actually, as she's getting older,

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Speaker 1: looks less like him than she did when she was

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Speaker 1: a baby. So I do you know what he looks

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Speaker 1: like now as an adult? And who knows, maybe as

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Speaker 1: he got older she still looks like him. But you

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Speaker 1: guys have to remember, when I went through the donor process,

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Speaker 1: the donor decides if he wants you to see adult

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Speaker 1: photos or not. Any profile that had adult photos I

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Speaker 1: actively chose not to look at because I didn't if

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Speaker 1: I know what the donor looks like as an adult,

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Speaker 1: it's going to make him a real person. And I

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Speaker 1: don't want him to be a real person. I know

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Speaker 1: that sounds so crazy. I don't want to be at

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Speaker 1: a coffee shop and see a guy and be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I wonder if that's the donor. He

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Speaker 1: looks just like the photo that I saw. I only

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Speaker 1: saw photos of my donor, his toddler photo and his

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Speaker 1: first school picture. I think he was either in preschool

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Speaker 1: or kindergarten he was young. There were only two pictures,

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Speaker 1: and actually the amount of change he went through from

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Speaker 1: those two photos is wild. So I need to locate

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Speaker 1: the older photo to see if Sosa is still looking

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Speaker 1: like him. So the answer to your question is, I

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Speaker 1: don't think about him ever at all unless I'm asked

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Speaker 1: about him, then he pops into my mind. And I

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Speaker 1: highly recommend doing it by yourself because even though Sosa

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Speaker 1: is a lot and there are times where I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I wish someone would take you for the weeknd, I

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Speaker 1: really don't wish that, Like she's my little ride or die.

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Speaker 1: And I love being able to make just basic decisions

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Speaker 1: without having to consult with another fucking human being. It

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Speaker 1: is awesome do it. It's a lot of work. But

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Speaker 1: I see moms that are in it with a dad

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Speaker 1: or you know, just basic cookie cutter partnerships, and it's

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Speaker 1: a lot to work for them too. And not only

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Speaker 1: is it a lot of work with the kids, then

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Speaker 1: you got to focus on keeping the marriage where it

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Speaker 1: needs to be. Like fuck, I'd be exhausted. I can't

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Speaker 1: do both things. Burr or now brid zero Ll says,

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Speaker 1: I just lost my dad. The hardest loss I could face,

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Speaker 1: does it ever get better? Do the what if? Stop?

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Speaker 1: I would say the first year is the hardest. Second year,

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Speaker 1: you can't believe it's been two years. I'm eight years

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Speaker 1: and some change in and I am telling you it

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Speaker 1: definitely gets easier. You will never be the same person

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Speaker 1: because they take a piece of you with them. But

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Speaker 1: I can talk about him like right now and not

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Speaker 1: sob my eyes out. I can think about him and

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Speaker 1: smile and not cry. Those moments obviously still come where

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Speaker 1: I think about him, and if I go into great details,

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Speaker 1: sob my eyes out. But I promise you there's a

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Speaker 1: reason why they say time heals everything, and it's because

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Speaker 1: it truly does. You are going to be just fine.

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Speaker 1: My biggest piece of advice. Allow yourself to go through

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Speaker 1: the emotions, the stages of the grieving process. Go through

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Speaker 1: every single one of them. Surround yourself with people who

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Speaker 1: allow you to be fucking mad and angry and scream.

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Speaker 1: I remember just like laughing hysterically and then I would

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Speaker 1: cry and scream into a pillow within a matter of seconds.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot. No one can prepare you for it,

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Speaker 1: but you will be just fine. The last question that

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Speaker 1: I want to end the bonus on because I'm so

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Speaker 1: into my vitamins right now. Emily Underscore Sanders fourteen. What

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Speaker 1: vitamins slash supplements do you swear by for your health

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Speaker 1: and your skin right now? The concoction that I take

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Speaker 1: that I am obsessed with, you guys. So the first

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Speaker 1: supplement if you're looking for overall wellness, there's this company

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Speaker 1: that I started taking their vitamins, Source Naturals. My pediatrician

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Speaker 1: recommended this to me like back in the day, and

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Speaker 1: it's just their wellness formula. It's for advanced immune support,

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Speaker 1: but it's like just an overall vitamins and minerals and

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Speaker 1: herbs and all that shit. One of those a day.

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Speaker 1: Highly recommend. When you feel like you're getting sick, you

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Speaker 1: can take up to four. The concoction that I'm fucking

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Speaker 1: obsessed with though, for hair, skin and nails, I take

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Speaker 1: every day a fish oil, vitamin B twelve. I take

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Speaker 1: a Vitamin A zinc, and then I love my neutrafol

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Speaker 1: That's my everyday concoction, the zinc and the vitamin A

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Speaker 1: chef's kiss. And not only does it help with the

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Speaker 1: hair and the skin and the nails and all that shit,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like it's also keeping me pretty healthy.

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Speaker 1: Watch next week. I'm gonna be sicker than a dog.

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Speaker 1: Every time I fucking talk about the supplements, I get

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Speaker 1: so fricking sick. Anyway, thank you guys for listening to

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Speaker 1: another bonus episode of Untraditionally La La. I'm gonna catch

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Speaker 1: you on Wednesday for a regular old episode and a reminder.

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Speaker 1: Unlikely Affair Airs every Thursday at nine pm. Love you guys. Bye,