WEBVTT - I Used to Be a Cougar with The Bubbies 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.440 Hell, Hi Suck a Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:10.760 and I Heart Radio podcast. Hey, everybody, welcome to a 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:13.480 new episode of Help I Suck a Dating. I'm Jared Haven, 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:17.080 joined by the wonderful Vanessa Grimaldi all the way from Montreal. 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:19.119 All Mark and Easton are in studio. We have a 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:22.200 couple of wonderful guests that are in studio right now. One, Well, 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:24.840 why don't you introduce yourself? Am I a guest? Oh? 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:31.800 It's been recognize on the podcast. Holy crap. Dean is 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.839 back in studio, which is very exciting. He's finally in 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:37.120 Los Angeles. And we have an amazing guest who's sitting 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:39.240 right next to me, Blake hortsman and ladies and gentlemen, 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.319 a man who truly needs no introduction at all. It's 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:48.240 nice to have a fellow single person on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.040 it's right. Oh my gosh, you're always at number two 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.520 to one. And then Easton is married, Mark is Marion. 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.360 Come on, it's nice that we have more numbers on 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.200 the single side now, but you know what that means. 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:03.040 You just gotta go back on paradise. Why are we 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:07.720 are we doing? No, let's tell Blake, we don't have 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:09.880 it for you too long. But what's going on in 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.039 your life? Blake? Are you dating anybody? No? I am 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:17.200 single right now? I am I am. I am great 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:22.800 as being single. You married, you know, trust me, I 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.760 live vicariously through Dan. Now. The only person you have 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:27.679 to worry about is yourself. You don't have to worry 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.280 about what people are thinking, what other where, other people 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.000 want you to be at any time, what you're cooking 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.560 for dinner. That happy relationships are not supposed to be 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:37.120 like that anyway. But Blake, I want to ask you, so, 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.360 since you're so close to Jason and he's dating Caitlin, 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:42.760 has Caitlin tried hooking up with any of her friends? Uh? No, 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:45.480 actually not really. No, Now that I think about it's 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:49.400 kind of bitchy of it, kind of think about it ridiculous. 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:53.360 Have you been because she lives in Nashville, right, Yeah? 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.120 So have you visited? And I'm sure Jason's been to Nashville. Yeah, 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.120 I've been out there twice with I'm actually in Nashville 0:01:58.440 --> 0:01:59.960 hanging out with him. So she's just holding out. She's 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:01.880 not introducing you to any of the friends. No, you don't, 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:03.520 I think Jason's actually trying took me up with some 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.000 of her friends. But now I think about a kid, 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.919 nobody from the Batchel franchise. I don't just try to 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:10.320 hook you up with. I'm trying to think of anybody 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:13.120 that comes to mind, and even would anyone in the 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.240 Batchel of franchise? Yeah, I mean I wouldn't. I'm not 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.240 like against stating anybody about your friendship, you know, like 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.480 open to it. So if you're open to everybody, you 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:25.720 don't just I don't discriminate. We'll see, we'll see. That's 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:30.160 a yes. There's a lot of time left three months 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:31.600 from now. Would there be any reason for you not? 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.120 I mean, I'm not a big examlationship. Like I'm kidding myself. 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:35.960 If I'm single, I'll probably go on about your parent. 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:37.520 You gotta go hang out on a beach for a month. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:40.160 Everybody I talked to who've done it or not done it, like, yeah, 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:41.760 of course they're gonna like why wouldn't I would do 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:45.600 it if I were you? No, the first person I 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.720 needed was one person to say no, she's lying. And 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:49.480 you want to know how I know he's lying because 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:51.079 when you're down at that beach, you're going to see 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:57.720 this down the stairs like two weeks after do it? Wow? Uh, 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:00.359 just take take these words of advices, like, don't get 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.640 yourself into a love triangle because I promised that one 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:03.960 will come back and bite you in the butt. Don't 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.200 pull it. You've totally totally I love that my name 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:09.400 can now be an adjective for something that you don't 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.359 want to. Jason's calling in right now. Actually, should I 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:18.200 speaker on speaker? Hey jays On, No, man, not much, man, 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:20.360 I'm on the I suck a dating podcast. Say hi, 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:29.040 hey Jacky Vanessa as well, Hey, don't forget about me. 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.480 We're doing well. We're doing good man. I just kind 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.640 of text message Dart and Bend and they're all like, 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.840 so what are we wearing tonight? And we have to 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:42.160 be ready pretty soon. So yeah, yeah, I'm at the studio, 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:43.839 I mean the studio right now, and my car gets 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:48.200 there in like a half hour. So time you're only 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:49.800 on live TV. You don't have to look that good. 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:51.880 All right, sounds good, dude, I'll call you later to 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:55.520 see Jason. Wait. So yeah, Blake Phillison on what you 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:57.440 got going on? I guess this is gonna air on Tuesday, 0:03:57.480 --> 0:03:59.360 but Monday night you're going to be on the panel 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.520 for after the final, so it's actually live tonight, Okay, 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:06.160 good night, So yeah, I honestly don't. Yeah. So it's me, Jason, Garrett, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:07.960 and Ben and we're gonna sit down with Colton and 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.200 have a man chat. So at the end of the 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.760 episode in front of a whole live studio audience, studio, 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:15.800 right there we go. I gotta make sure I don't 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:17.480 loosen up too much and started up in a bomb 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:22.360 like I would beforehand, not five over the one. Do 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.200 you think Colton's excited for this season to be over? So? 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:27.240 I think he's just I think any lead it's like 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:28.840 super excited for it to get over so you can 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:34.360 be with the person. If he's with somebody, I don't 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.440 know someone we all know he's marrying the fence. I 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:41.760 guess Vanessa is really the only one that's experience. Vanessa, 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:43.400 what what was it like, because obviously you have to 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.640 wait like three months after the show is done, however 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:48.800 long it is, and then you can finally be public 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.920 with your relationship, right. I mean, I think my relationship 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:53.920 with Nick was a little bit different because I was 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:57.320 like more I was like really realistic about what we 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.600 were going through, and I just wanted to like, I 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:01.840 don't know it was it was, let me tell you, 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.839 it was faking hard, and I I did not want 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.600 to go on a far pretending as if like it 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.240 was all rainbows and butterflies because it wasn't. Um. So, yeah, 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:14.840 I think it's like super exciting for Colton right now 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:16.760 if he is with someone and I did message him, 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:18.600 I'm like, dude, I have no idea what's going on 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.680 with you. I've watched I've watched a few episodes. I 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.400 haven't read any spoilers. I don't want to know what's happening. 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:27.440 But whatever advice I can give you is this, just 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.760 soak it all in and if you are with someone, 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:34.080 make sure to nurture that relationship and not listen to 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.040 any outside noise. So Blake is going to be on 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:41.920 a panel with him tonight, what advice do you have? Well, 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:46.560 was this after we see whether he chooses no, no no. 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.599 So that's true. That's a good point. I guess I don't. 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:51.720 I think they just want I don't really know what. 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.760 We're all friends, so it's just like a friendly see 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.680 where the conversation goes to be Honestly, I think it's 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.440 they just want to. I think we're going to try 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.440 and see where his head was at in that moment 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:01.920 at the end of this episode, Like what happens in 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:03.839 them in this episode. I don't want to spoil it 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:06.520 for you, but but I mean, I well, I saw 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.080 obviously the last episode where he jumped the fence and 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.359 everyone was like, oh my god. They keeps saying it's dramatic. 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.600 I'm like, listen, it's for me. Was the most romantic 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.800 thing a guy could have ever done as the lead 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.040 of the show. Like it, I want to go after 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:21.800 the one girl I'm in love with. I'm done filming, 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:23.760 like I know what I want. Obviously, I don't know 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:25.600 what happens. I don't know what happens in this episode, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:26.960 but I thought it was just and I hope he 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:31.400 ends up with Cassie. I love different perspective on it. 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.200 Ahead I was gonna say, I'm loving this unfiltered Vanessa, 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:35.520 that's two f bombs you've dropped. So because I'm here, 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:38.120 it's a lot of a lot of editing for east 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:40.840 and poor Easton over here. Um, I thought I see 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.440 I had a different perspective, because I don't think he 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.599 was running away because Cassie was leaving. He was, but 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:47.760 I think he was really running away from production as well, 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.720 because even in that that scene, they showed a couple 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:52.960 of times where he was looking around the room, and 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:54.640 it was very obvious that he was looking at producers 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:58.840 behind the camera, even somebody's totally like even casual audience 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:00.960 members were looking at like, well, is he looking at 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.760 producers right now? What's going on? So? And then obviously 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:05.880 he's running away from everybody. It was it was an 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.240 interesting moment. But Blake, I wanted to talk about you. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:10.880 Is it weird at all for you to watch this 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.480 season seeing how close you were to being the Bachelor? Yeah? 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.640 It is, Yeah, it is interesting to Yeah, I often 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:18.560 put myself in the positions that he was in or 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.160 you know, and I don't know, obviously it could have 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:24.160 played out different, but um, I have PTSD watching it. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.160 Like like he told me, so, I had the conversation 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:27.560 with him about actually jumping the fence. I was like 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.480 two to it, like when you got over that fence, 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.960 like what you know? What happened? It's like I legitimately 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.920 ran away like he hid and like they'll see they 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:37.480 can't find him. They legitimately can't find him. Um, and 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.800 I can relate to that so much, where you just 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:41.360 want to get away, you know, you just want to 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.800 go after the failed proposal. Uh in the Maldives, I 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:46.760 couldn't get off that island. I was stuck. They were 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:48.600 playing enough that iland. I was stuck on that island 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.680 knowing they were engaged, you know, down it was off. 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.720 At this point, you're like three months in. Yeah, I 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:55.640 haven't talked to your family, friends and that, however long 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:58.240 I can only imagine it's. Yeah. Well so I mean 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.040 basically because it was, it seemed like down to you, 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:04.000 Jason Colton, Right, But so now what's even better for 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.920 you is you have your pick of the litters of 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:13.800 the yeah that all my friends are inflationships. Well, I 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.880 also want to get into a little story that has 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:18.320 to involve Dean that happened on the Women Tell Law, 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:19.920 because you can. I was gonna ask Blake if any 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.480 girls has slid into your d m s. You don't 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:26.200 have to tell names, but have any girls from you? 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:30.840 You know what it is? I bet you that they're 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.120 they're they're afraid that if they reach out to you 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.120 before Paradise and you're on there, and then they'll be villainized, 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.280 because there's always that villain who reaches out beforehand and 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:41.120 they talk and then they lie on the show, and 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:42.760 I bet they don't want to go down that path. 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:45.800 Then everyone do that, not just one like I'm sure 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:47.319 I'm going to meet them, like I'm going to render 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.280 them at some point. You know, before before I went 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:52.200 on Paradise, however, two years ago, I was very careful 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:56.880 not to DM anyone beforehand ad because it's just God 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:58.679 forbid you go down there, and then all of a sudden, 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.079 the story becomes about you talking to beforehand, and now 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:04.199 you're kind of in this drama. It's horrible. But on 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:06.000 the Women Tell All, somebody, I think it might have 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:10.640 been Katie was talking about how Kalin's went into somebody's Yeah, 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:12.400 I forgot about this, and they were using it as 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.000 an example as to why Kalen's out there for the 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:17.080 right reasons. Fast forward to the almost famous podcast last week, 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:21.520 Kerpa goes on and says that Kalin slid into Dean's 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:28.240 d MS, so deed, I'm not surprised that. Look at 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.840 that face. Oh you're so sweet. Yeah, she's great. Let's 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:33.120 talk about it. I think, I mean, I want to 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.200 just go on record and exonerate Kalin from all of 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.000 this nonsense. That's nonsense that she's been part of because 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.000 the dams were completely innocuous. They were like before she 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.640 was on the TV show. She basically messaged me and said, 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.720 I was in was that trip that I did Japan, Indonesia, Malaysia, 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.439 Singapore blah blah blah blah blah, yep um. And she 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:50.840 was like, hey, I was just on that same trip 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:52.840 not too long ago. Like what are you doing copy 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:58.320 my trip? You know whatever? Oh with me? This is 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.600 like back in July last year or something like that. 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:02.320 And I go, yeah, ha ha, I'm copying your trip. 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:03.640 And then I got to the point where she's like, hey, 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:04.839 I'm gonna be in l A. Can we meet for 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:06.800 coffee or lunch or something. It was like yeah, let's 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.520 me yeah, And I was like, yeah, let's meet for 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:11.720 coffee when I get back. Um, I'll text you when 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:13.120 I get back in like a month or something. However 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:15.200 long I was gone for. I got back and then 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:16.840 she messaged me again and she goes, hey, I'm actually 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:18.679 in l a until Thursday. Um, I see you just 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:22.200 got back on Monday. Like, let's grab coffee before I leave? Uh. 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.280 I said, sure, let's grab coffee, and then I just 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.160 never followed up. So it was just one of those 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:28.320 things where we both kind of ghost at each other. Well, 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.319 it was like it was a mutual ghosting. It seemed 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:32.240 like she was probably going through casting at this point. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:33.880 And I guarantee you the reason that she wanted to 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:35.240 get coffee or go to lunch was just to kind 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:36.720 of pick my brain about the whole process of going 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:37.920 on the show, because at this point she knew she 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.559 was going on the show. Um. Yeah, And I remember 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:41.959 I was like she was a miss what would she miss? 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.760 Alabama or something like that, North Carolina? And what's funny, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:49.120 actually I didn't even realize that she had deemed me until, um, 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:50.640 like maybe a month ago. I was hanging out with 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.800 one of my friends, who is they're going to be 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.480 working together in some capacity on the line, um, and 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:57.439 my name got brought up in that conversation and then 0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:00.080 she mentioned to my friend how she deemed me a 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:01.959 while ago. And then I went back and you can 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:03.839 go to the messages, so I googled I'm sorry. I 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.920 instagrams her profile and went through the messages. I was like, Holy, 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.160 this is the girl that wanted to get coffee at 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:10.959 one point, and I totally blew her off. And I 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:12.719 didn't even realize it. So you didn't put two and 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.600 two together when you were watching the season. I had 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.400 absolutely no idea. I mean, that's how many girls slide 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.199 into the DM. I don't know if that's necessarily the case, 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.000 but it literally was like we exchanged like five messages apiece, 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.720 and so that's there was just no like I didn't 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.080 necessarily remember. How do the girls know that she slid 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:34.720 into her d M into my d M. Yeah, I 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.679 think she can candidly talk about it because she knows 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:38.760 there was no foul play involved in any sense. It 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:40.880 wasn't like she was like, hey, let's hang out, let's 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:42.880 go get drinks, let's you know that kind of stuff. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:44.360 It was basically just like, hey, let's get lunch and 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.520 talk about what I'm about to get myself into. Crazy 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:49.360 crazy crazy. I mean, it's pretty funny. And then I 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.600 feel bad because she's betting blown up a little bit 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:54.959 thinking this was something big thing happened after the show 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:59.040 or whatever. Yeah, it was completely innocent. Um. And so 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.600 I mean, I keep these articles written about me, like 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.240 Kalen miller Key slides in the Dean Unglert's dams and 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:05.880 I'm like, well, you guys don't even know the story. 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:09.920 What's your last name? I think Miller Keys, Miller Miller Keys. Anyway, 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:13.040 it's great, you're just on scuping in with that was 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.280 I was feeling in Frotania. She had dirty duty in 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:22.520 would you? We talked about true story, all right, yet 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.120 I was thinking about well because I was thinking about 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.880 douche like deuish and French is like showering, So I 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.080 was like, oh wait, but no, I'm talking about actual douching, 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:35.000 like very informing. What type of contribution did you have 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:41.040 to the conversation? Yeah, listening anytime I'm gonna have anytime 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.120 I think of douche. Have you guys seen sauce party 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.199 that's only think it's dirty, that's a dirty dirty. But 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:50.360 the dude she's bag like juice stop. Roy did douche 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.200 and he's like he goes around to all the other groceries. 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:57.280 He's like, I'm a douche. It's pretty hilarious. Yeah, it's 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:00.360 very informative, and you if you ever call somebody douche, 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.840 you'll have meaning behind because you after listening to that podcast, 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:04.840 you probably mean you probably learned a lot from that. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.839 I stared a lot and they trapped me like I 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.599 didn't know it's coming and got on the phone and 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:12.960 they'll do that started talking about that. We're all going 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:14.960 to learn a little bit from listening to that podcast. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:16.720 So thank you for filling in with Scrubbling and guys, 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:18.319 you can definitely check that out this week, and thank 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.760 you so much for coming in today. We're very excited 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:22.120 to see you on the Panels Light and see what 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.440 you what advice you have to give to Colton, and 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.320 we're even more excited to see you on Paradise. See. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:29.960 I'm so excited for that because Jason is not going 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:31.679 to be there because he's dating so well, that's the 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:33.040 other thing. I don't need friends to go down there 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:36.760 with anymore blank as someone that's experienced the season after his, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.880 you being the guy from your season and it's not 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:41.400 gonna have to take a back seat to whoever like 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.040 the new guy is. I remember when I first saw 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:44.320 you walk out and you have the horse, I was 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:49.480 like this mother, He's gonna steal my spotlight, and I 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.760 guarantee you're gonna have the same feelings, gonna be irrelevant 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:56.400 and about Yeah, well, I think tomorrow twenty minutes. I 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:59.960 don't bring out guys, starts to I'm just saying bad. 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.480 I don't know. I don't think. What do you guys think? 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.640 Is the next Hanna Beast? That's the rumor mill right now, 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.760 Hanna be Hannah By Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. Which hey, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.880 Blake this year type of all Hanna be Yeah, Oh 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:16.719 my god, going the season again? No, dude, you mean 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:21.320 Nick Vile second again? Or Becka Tilly or Becka Tilly. 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:22.840 It did work out for those two. I mean they're 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:29.320 pretty say no way, I'm not doing that nowhere. Alright, 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:32.480 fair enough, alright, Bake, have fun to night, good luck. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:34.720 We look forward to see you on TV tonight for 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:39.720 the first time in a year. So cool. Thanks by 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.200 the way, Jared, by the way, Dean, do you know 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.280 who we have coming in next year? We have coming 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:47.440 in now? You're gonna love these three lovely ladies, the 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.360 Three Bubbies. They have a new TV show coming out. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.480 I heard about this, The Three Bubbies Trust me. You're 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:53.040 not gonna want to miss this. But before we get 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:54.400 into that, I want to talk to you guys about 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.320 twenty three and me. You better talked about it in 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:57.960 the past. We're going to continue to talk about it 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.600 today and hopefully forever because it's so so awesome. Basically, 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.080 we live in a world where we have access to 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.280 data that gives us more personal insights into who we are. 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.600 What's more personalized than your DNA? Now we can turn 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.000 to our genetics, four personalized health traits, and more. Twenty 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:13.680 three and Me allows you to go beyond ancestry to 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.880 access more personalized insights about you based on your DNA, 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:20.040 and with more than a hundred and genetic reports, you 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:23.000 can even gain insights about your health traits and more. Totally, 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:25.960 there's so many reports. There's one report called deep Sleep Report. Now, 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:27.920 if you've always suspected that you feel more sleepy than 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.680 others after missing out like on a night's sleep, you 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:33.800 might not be imagining things because your genes could be involved. 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.880 They also have this alcohol flush reaction report. You hear 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:38.960 about this one ding that's the Rosa show one, right, Yes, 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.520 it is, so does your does alcohol always turn your 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.720 cheeks red. But I have some friends that it really 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.440 strongly affects, oh well, very fair skinned people, and it 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.560 turns so my cheeks get a little pink. And I 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:50.520 hate it because anytime I take a picture, I can 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.480 immediately see if I'm a little little tipsy or not. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.520 It's quite embarrassing. But you may have the alcohol I 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.880 may have the alcohol flush reaction. You I don't have it. Personally, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.280 Drink all the alchol in the world and be okay, well, 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:05.720 congratulate freely. I'm a tank. What can I say? Seriously? Oh, 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:07.680 I guess I'm a lightweight over here. But I can 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.800 learn more about the genetic factors that make it hard 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.360 for some people like myself to process alcohol. Uh. There's 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.360 also that saturated fat and Weight report, right, So the 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.760 saturated fat and Weight report can tell you about how 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.120 your genetics may impact your body's response to your diet. 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.120 You can learn if you're likely to weigh more on 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:24.400 a diet high and saturated fat, even if you consume 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.840 the same number of calories. So it's super important if 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.040 you're interested in health and obviously being as fit as 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:30.680 possible and as healthy as possible. I think a lot 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:32.480 of people just associate twenty three and me would just 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:34.680 ancestry when it's so much more like you just said. 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.080 It has a genetic reports where you can find out 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.840 about your sleeping habits, how alcohol affects you, uh, you're 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:42.760 saturated fat and weight report. There's just a lot of 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.960 different things that I can tell you about your body. Anyways, 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:47.280 what you guys can do as our listeners if you want, 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.440 if you definitely should, it's it's definitely worth it. Be 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.040 sure to see what your genes can say about your health, 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.720 your traits and more by your Health and Ancestry Service 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:58.040 Kit today at twenty three and me dot com slash Dean. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.960 That's the number two three and me dot com slash 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.400 d e a n uh Dean summers right around the corner. Yeah, 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:07.199 I need to get in shape. Bachelor Paradise is right 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.159 around the corner. I don't know why that affects me 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.199 at all, because it because you're gonna go on, not 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.920 for your own enjoyment, It's all about everybody else's. Let's say, hypothetically, Jared, 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:18.359 I were to go on Bachelor in Paradise, what advice 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:19.840 do you have for me to get into shape? Funny 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.000 you asked Dean, because getting fit and staying healthy always 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:25.840 sounds easier said than done. Am I right or right? Well, 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.720 that's why open fit helps take care of all the 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:32.280 complexity and it takes all the confusion and hard work 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.920 out of losing weight and getting fit. It's a brand new, 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.600 super simple streaming service that allows you to work out 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.480 from the comfort of your living room as little as 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:45.200 ten minutes a day. Everybody everyone's bodies are a little different. 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.919 Open fit gets that it is personalized to your needs 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.880 with custom tailored original content. Open Fit classes are led 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.439 by some of the most effective and engaging trainers in 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:56.679 the world. Now these trainers know how to get your 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:59.439 results quick. Jared Jared Jared Jared, Stop right there, Just 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.400 tell me is it's simple. It's super simple. You can 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.640 forget all the complexity and stress getting around getting fit 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:10.120 and just press play and work out on your own schedule. Okay, fine, 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:13.320 it's simple, but is it convenient. It's so convenient you 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:17.040 can view on your own computer, web enabled TV, tablet, 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.679 smartphone and Roku. Mark you do these classes, don't you? 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.119 I do with them a lot. I enjoy them, and 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:23.880 you know when I do them. When I did them. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:25.840 Most of all is when we were in Wisconsin for 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:27.680 two weeks and you can't go outside because it's tend 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.119 togrees outside and you can't exercise, you can't go for 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:31.399 a run, you can't do anything. And I don't have 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.640 a membership any gyms there because I'm just a tourist. 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:37.199 So I would do open fit right there on my 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.760 Google something or other. I can beam it from my 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:44.560 iPad to the TV, and it was fantastic. Beam It 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:46.840 is that like the technical term that sounds like star trek. 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.119 It's like from the sixties, right, beat me up, Scott. 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:54.200 I guess well, Dean, do you like yoga? Love it? Well? 0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:56.960 My favorite course on this particular open fit class is 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.040 Yoga fifty two. It's the perfect way to lose weight. 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.360 This honestly sound like the perfect way to lose weight, 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.720 build strength, reduce stress, maybe reshape your body by taking 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.080 a deeper dive into yoga, Jared, And it's changed the 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.840 way that I've worked out, And you can use the code. 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:10.680 Guess what the code is, Dean. I'm gonna guess it's Dean. 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:15.080 It's d And these guys a guest on the podcast, 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.240 and he gets his own code for all these things. Unbelievable, 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:20.000 and you can join us on a fitness journey personalized 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.840 just for you. Again, use our code Dean d An 0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:25.320 and start using open Fit for your journey to a 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.960 healthier life. And right now, during the open Fit thirty 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:31.760 Day Challenge, our listeners get a special extended thirty day 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.639 free trial membership to open Fit lose the fifteen pounds 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.119 in thirty days. All you have to do is text 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:42.159 Dean d E A and to thirty thirty thirty and 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:44.440 you'll get full access to open Fit, all the workouts 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:46.919 and the nutritional information totally free. Again. All you have 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:49.719 to do is text Dean to thirty. Maybe my favorite 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:54.440 word in the English language free Dean is number two, 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:58.560 but free is just unbelievable. Both four letters, yeah, both 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:03.320 have two owls and two consonants. It's it's fantastic. The 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:09.040 similarities are mind boggle, mind boggling. So anyway, sex and 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:13.360 you can get all of that for free for thirty days. Unbelievable. Okay, Well, 0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:16.719 next up we have the stars of j L t VS. 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:22.600 What's the name of the show again, it's best exactly. Well, 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:24.480 that's amazing. It's so great to have all three of 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:26.119 you in studio today, Can you guys go around and 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:30.000 introduce yourselfs real quick? Absolutely, I'm Bubby Linda. Oay, I'm 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.159 a smart one, Bubby Linda the smart one. I'm Bubby 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.199 s J. I'm the sassy one. I can I can 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:39.480 sense that one from just the voice alone. Yeah, and 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:42.879 I'm Bubby Bunny. They say I'm the sweet one, but 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:45.200 I'm not too sure about that. So for the listeners 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:47.320 of it, can you guys tell us what bubbies are? 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:51.280 What is a bubby? Well, bubby is a Jewish grandmother, Okay, yes, 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:54.680 and we give advice because we have years and years 0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:57.600 of wisdom and we have grand children, so we know 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:00.719 from where we speak. That's right. And you're a grand bubby. Yes, 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:08.119 but seven seven I have three grandsons, woun, I have 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:14.360 four grandchildren and two great grandchildren. Between the all of us, 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:18.320 we're fourteen grandchildren, two great grandchildren. You're a great grand bubby. Yes, 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:22.000 that's amazing. Over two hundred years of experience here, so 0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:27.440 we getting them married and so on the TV show? 0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:29.320 Then what do you got? What? It just follows along 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:32.359 your life? How does it work exactly? The TV show? Well, 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:35.480 we have a suitor or three suitors that we have 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:40.760 a data male or female whatever week whatever catches catch 0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:44.560 can Well, most of them are Jewish, but we do 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:48.320 have segments where there's a non Jewish gentiles if you 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:50.919 know what I mean. Sure, and then they come in 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:54.800 and we interview them. Okay, see who would match data? 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.680 We grilled them? Do you Yeah? We try to find 0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:02.320 things in common, like well, first of all, interview the suitor. Okay, 0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:05.879 then there's three potential dates. Let's say the suitor likes 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:07.800 to work out or something like that' and so we 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:10.840 then we interview the three potential dates. We find out, 0:22:10.920 --> 0:22:12.840 we'll say, well, if you like, you know, to work 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:15.240 out like three boots whatever, you find things in common, 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:18.960 So you guys are like the three Jewish grandmothers like 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:24.840 of Patti Stanger. That's it. You're exactly where Patty, but 0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:32.719 better exact, way better right to ye? Jamin, I am 0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:35.960 so happy happy that you and Ashley are together. Oh 0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:48.760 my god, broke your child? Are you single or Mary? 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:53.320 I'm single? Do you guys need a suitor to come on? All? Right? 0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:58.800 Kind of available? Would be a suitor or would be 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:01.920 one of the dates. You'll be a data okay, yeah, yeah, 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:03.639 because I don't want to be grilled too hard. You know, 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:06.560 I'm the hard grill up. If you're not going to 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.640 wear a shirt that's pressed, forget about a big colored shirt, guy, 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:12.840 I'll be honest with you. T shirts typically am I 0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:15.320 go to I think you are so good looking you 0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:20.000 don't have to thank you? Yes. So what kind of 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.480 questions do you ask the suitors or the daters? Well, 0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:25.639 I always ask the tough questions, like if a woman 0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:29.960 is wearing like phony hair, I'll always say, is that joy? 0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:32.040 We don't like that. We don't like when girls, you know, 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:36.400 and I don't let me come on show your real looks, right, Jarret, Absolutely, 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:39.440 I'll ask you that every day. And I'll ask them 0:23:39.480 --> 0:23:42.440 what level of let's say, Judaism do they like? You're 0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:46.720 very traditionally or less traditional? You know. Again, the more 0:23:46.760 --> 0:23:49.040 things you have in common, the better you know. What 0:23:49.080 --> 0:23:51.320 do you like to do? Well? We even had lesbians 0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:53.640 on the show. Now that was a tough one for me. 0:23:53.960 --> 0:23:55.840 I don't know what the top the bottom. I don't 0:23:55.880 --> 0:24:00.160 know all about that the top and bottom, top at 0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:04.000 the bottom. I would ask that question the important questions. 0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:05.960 I get it. Yeah, So I took a DNA test 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:07.520 on twenty three and me not too long ago, and 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:09.920 I found out that I'm less than one percent Ashcarnazi Jew, 0:24:10.480 --> 0:24:14.640 So that means I have some Jewish blood in me. Well, right, 0:24:14.760 --> 0:24:17.720 that's when. That's why I'm here, Dean. I took my 0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:23.119 DNA test and I found out on fifty jew Hey, okay, 0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:26.160 and yesterday I got my first call from Israel. I'm 0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:29.720 mean now I'm like the new jew in The names 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:37.240 were all these Jewish Yiddish words like say naos na. 0:24:37.760 --> 0:24:40.359 They hurl their tongue in the back of their teeth. 0:24:40.359 --> 0:24:47.440 It's never gonna happen. Dean. Yeah, job you got. You're 0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:51.680 very very cute. I'm just looking at doorable glass is adorable. 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:53.520 What kind of girl do you like? Tean? Give us 0:24:53.520 --> 0:24:55.960 an idea? Oh, I have absolutely no idea. Really, I 0:24:56.000 --> 0:24:59.320 think someone out doorsy, someone fun. Okay, you guys have 0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:02.840 anyone in my I think we can find someone for him. 0:25:03.040 --> 0:25:05.040 She might be sitting right here. Do you have an 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:11.080 age limit? She s all right, Vanessa, I've never gonn 0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:16.400 to give up. Okay, she given up a good looking guy. 0:25:16.480 --> 0:25:19.280 Are you single? Yes? I'm not was going to ask 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:22.800 you ladies. So my boyfriend is actually Jewish and he 0:25:22.840 --> 0:25:25.879 doesn't have his bubby's not with us anymore, so I 0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:27.880 don't I can't go to her to ask for advice. 0:25:28.240 --> 0:25:31.320 What kind of advice would you give me for my boyfriend? Well, 0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:34.879 I would say, um, yet to know? How long have 0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:38.040 you been dating him? For? Four months? Four months? Okay? 0:25:38.080 --> 0:25:40.399 So have you gotten to know his friends? Because you 0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:43.240 can really tell a lot about a guy with who 0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:48.119 you know about who he associates with. Yes, I haven't 0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:51.200 met all of his friends yet. But he's very close 0:25:51.200 --> 0:25:53.600 to his family, which is like integral for me to 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:56.679 date someone who understands that they need to spend as 0:25:56.760 --> 0:25:58.480 much time with their family as they do with mine. 0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:00.639 And this is the first relationship. It best like that. 0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:03.879 So that's like always with his sisters or with his mom. 0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.760 That's a good sign. That's a good sign. All right? 0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:12.840 Are you living together yet? Okay? You think four months 0:26:12.880 --> 0:26:15.320 is too early to start leaving? I don't know. I do. 0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:20.280 I lived with my husband pre husband, the last third husband. Uh. 0:26:20.480 --> 0:26:22.720 Six weeks after I met him, I moved him in. 0:26:23.240 --> 0:26:25.760 But I'm old, honey, so you know how much time 0:26:25.800 --> 0:26:28.600 have I got left? I want to get to know 0:26:28.680 --> 0:26:30.879 each other a little bit better before you move in. 0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:34.160 I agree, I agree. I think it's great that you're 0:26:34.200 --> 0:26:38.320 both from Canada. I mean, at least you're he's geographically suitable. 0:26:38.800 --> 0:26:42.960 Nick was not because he was too far away, right, Yeah, 0:26:43.000 --> 0:26:47.640 that's exactly the reason. So he's Jewish and you're Jewish rights, 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:52.280 there's a story. But he's Jewish, but he's doing okay. 0:26:52.359 --> 0:26:55.119 Do you guys like to go to temple together? Or? 0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.720 I mean, how do you work that out? So we're 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:03.160 not practicing. So I'm Catholic but not practicing, and he's 0:27:03.200 --> 0:27:05.919 Jewish but not practicing. Well, I mean he's practicing, but 0:27:06.040 --> 0:27:11.359 not as religious as other people would be. So your Italian. 0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:20.080 I am Italian and Jews. A parent was raised on 0:27:20.200 --> 0:27:23.320 an Italian and Jewish block. Of course we get along, 0:27:23.440 --> 0:27:28.119 jolly yeah, it's very very similar backgrounds, Vanessa. Do you 0:27:28.200 --> 0:27:32.320 love them good money? That is a great question. The 0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:36.919 boys haven't even asked me that. How does he make 0:27:37.000 --> 0:27:40.280 you feel when you see I do love him? Do 0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:45.400 you do? Do you do you feel he makes you 0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:48.120 a better person? Do you look forward to seeing him? 0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:51.160 Does he make your heart like tingle when you see him? 0:27:51.320 --> 0:27:54.800 He does, and he's very soft. If you see him, 0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:58.840 he looks like this, like macho like Jared calls him 0:27:58.840 --> 0:28:02.080 the silver Fox, but he's such a has such a 0:28:02.119 --> 0:28:05.320 soft side to him. Um, which is where to find 0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:07.919 someone who's really good looking and is able to just 0:28:07.960 --> 0:28:10.800 sit you down and talk things through and talk about 0:28:10.800 --> 0:28:15.480 your emotions and not feel um scared to be vulnerable. 0:28:17.600 --> 0:28:19.560 There are a lot of things in common, like what 0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:23.760 you like to do together. Um. We love spending time 0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:26.440 with our family. I made it's either I'm spending time 0:28:26.480 --> 0:28:28.520 with his or he's spending time with mine. And we 0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:32.000 love helping out the community too. He's involved in politics 0:28:32.080 --> 0:28:34.159 and has other big projects that he wants to do 0:28:34.240 --> 0:28:37.200 to help out the Montreal community. And I have a nonprofit. 0:28:37.560 --> 0:28:41.040 So there's yeah. So we have a lot of great 0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:43.720 things in common. Um, and it's nice. So I wanted 0:28:43.720 --> 0:28:46.280 to actually ask you, guys, what is the best piece 0:28:46.280 --> 0:28:50.160 of advice you've ever given or what's the best piece 0:28:50.200 --> 0:28:53.800 of advice that people have ever given you? Wow, that's 0:28:53.800 --> 0:28:57.000 a great question, right for the two of you. Just 0:28:57.120 --> 0:29:00.360 to keep things always good no matter what. I It's 0:29:00.440 --> 0:29:03.280 like the five minute rule. The first when he walks 0:29:03.280 --> 0:29:05.760 through the door. You walk through the door. You want 0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:08.640 them to see in your eyes that you are glad 0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:11.560 to see them, and that can make the difference of 0:29:11.640 --> 0:29:14.720 the whole day, the whole night of being with someone. 0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:17.080 I think, you know, we take it for granted after 0:29:17.120 --> 0:29:19.480 a while, Like a relationship is like a plant. You 0:29:19.520 --> 0:29:22.080 gotta water it. And as long as you make him 0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:28.440 feel special, he's not going anywhere. MS go ahead, Okay, Yeah, 0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:32.680 I've been married thirty years last October, Wow graduation. I 0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:39.960 know and like it. Oh yeah, thank you put a 0:29:40.080 --> 0:29:43.440 ring on it. And I think that our relationship has 0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:46.000 stayed fresh because we tell each other we love each 0:29:46.040 --> 0:29:48.760 other every day. We look at each other, we look 0:29:48.800 --> 0:29:52.040 at each other's eyes, and we keep it fresh and 0:29:52.240 --> 0:29:54.640 we go out, we date, we do things, you know, 0:29:55.120 --> 0:29:57.320 so you gotta keep it fresh and always tell each 0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:00.520 other and remember the first day you met how felt. 0:30:01.200 --> 0:30:04.720 Never forget that. And I'm the realist in the group. Honey, 0:30:04.800 --> 0:30:06.480 let me tell you first of all, don't throw the 0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:10.680 baby out with the bathwater. You should always have something 0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:13.880 in common with the person. And you know, whoever tells 0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:20.320 you I love you first is the loser. That I mean, 0:30:20.360 --> 0:30:23.720 he's the loser. That means that, like my husband told 0:30:23.760 --> 0:30:27.160 me he loved me first, I'm the winner. I meant 0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:29.880 the first one. Throw the baby out with the bathwater. 0:30:30.080 --> 0:30:32.840 Don't throw the baby out, just you know, wait a 0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:37.320 while before, like, for example, don't go to bed angry. Okay, 0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:41.040 So you know that means like, don't give up you 0:30:41.040 --> 0:30:45.480 know yet, Just give it a shot, give it a chance. Jared, Hey, Bubby. So, 0:30:45.560 --> 0:30:48.440 you guys, obviously all are very well versed on all 0:30:48.480 --> 0:30:51.160 things love and relationships, so we decided to ask our 0:30:51.200 --> 0:30:53.880 listeners on our Facebook some questions that they might have 0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:57.440 for you that you guys could help answer. You. Okay, Mark, 0:30:57.440 --> 0:30:59.120 read some questions from our Facebook page for you guys. 0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:01.600 This is from Ashley. She says, should partners discuss how 0:31:01.640 --> 0:31:06.040 many sexual partners they've had in the past? No? No, no. 0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:10.360 The only thing that your partner wants to know is 0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:15.520 that it's over period and they're the only one. No. 0:31:16.240 --> 0:31:19.680 So okay. Follow up from Ashley she says, do men 0:31:19.800 --> 0:31:25.800 really think about sex every two minutes like the statistics says? No? Think. Actually, 0:31:26.280 --> 0:31:28.160 I think they do that on their mind a lot 0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:31.040 more than women. I don't think it's every two seconds, 0:31:31.120 --> 0:31:33.640 but I think let's say it's out there a lot. 0:31:34.280 --> 0:31:37.000 We got some men here games in the past two minutes, 0:31:37.000 --> 0:31:38.480 have you thought about sex? I've been thinking about it 0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:46.720 a lot. Once you guys walked into the women rule. 0:31:48.000 --> 0:31:50.800 Now get out of here. All the man forget about it. 0:31:50.880 --> 0:31:53.360 They don't care that much. Maybe your husband does mine, 0:31:53.920 --> 0:32:00.280 Miss cougar here, I used to be a right. Yeah, Well, 0:32:00.360 --> 0:32:03.200 let's see, my second husband was ten years younger than me, 0:32:04.360 --> 0:32:07.200 and my last boyfriend before my husband was twenty five 0:32:07.280 --> 0:32:13.920 years More power to you, thanks, honey. I don't think 0:32:14.000 --> 0:32:16.520 age really matters. I think it's you know, the connection 0:32:16.560 --> 0:32:18.640 you guys have. I also dated a guy that was 0:32:18.680 --> 0:32:21.560 ten years younger, well, ten years older. It doesn't matter. 0:32:21.680 --> 0:32:24.160 I always I always say that age doesn't matter, and 0:32:24.200 --> 0:32:26.880 then I always hear other people's perspective when I see 0:32:26.920 --> 0:32:29.760 an article about how a seventy eight year old billionaire 0:32:29.840 --> 0:32:33.360 is dating a twenty three year old model matters. So 0:32:33.400 --> 0:32:36.680 I think kind of a gray area. That's kind of 0:32:36.720 --> 0:32:38.600 a trophy wife kind of thing. That's a whole little 0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:44.000 bit that's about reading the will. That's that's yeah. This 0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:46.200 is from Caitlin, and this is a nice transition here. 0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:48.120 How do you deal with money in a relationship. Do 0:32:48.200 --> 0:32:50.600 you share funds? How do you split the bills? How 0:32:50.600 --> 0:32:52.360 do you make sure the person who makes less money 0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:56.320 doesn't feel like they contribute less to the overall relationship. Well, 0:32:56.920 --> 0:32:59.760 let me tell you about my relationship. Because I married 0:32:59.760 --> 0:33:02.200 some not a little bit more money than I did. 0:33:02.720 --> 0:33:05.720 We split it and if he didn't like it, he 0:33:05.760 --> 0:33:09.959 could leave. Oh you split okay, So it's basically we 0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:14.240 commingle our funds. You add the funds together. Yes, that's 0:33:14.280 --> 0:33:17.520 what we did. I'm old school. I mean, I come 0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:20.160 from an age like the fifties and everything the men 0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:23.200 took care of the women. I don't mind treating and 0:33:23.240 --> 0:33:25.320 doing all those things, but I want to be with 0:33:25.360 --> 0:33:30.800 it man that you can take care of me. I'm agreeing. Um, 0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:33.200 My husband and I both worked. He made a lot 0:33:33.240 --> 0:33:35.560 more money than me, but we just co mild co 0:33:35.760 --> 0:33:38.520 mingled our funds and when I'm not working, you know 0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:41.920 he's taking care of me. Yeah. I've been on both 0:33:41.920 --> 0:33:44.120 sides of it. I think in past relationships, I've made 0:33:44.200 --> 0:33:47.360 less money than my girlfriend and she was much Uh, 0:33:47.560 --> 0:33:50.240 she was very giving, I guess if you would. Um, 0:33:50.320 --> 0:33:52.520 So I've seen both sides of it, and I agree 0:33:52.520 --> 0:33:54.360 with that. Jay, once you're once you're married, I think, 0:33:54.360 --> 0:33:57.960 just your money, not each other. Do you think I 0:33:57.960 --> 0:34:00.760 don't know if I agree with that? Well, what do 0:34:00.800 --> 0:34:04.560 you think? Why? Okay? So I come from my parents 0:34:04.600 --> 0:34:07.120 are divorced and I have you know, people in my 0:34:07.160 --> 0:34:10.239 life that have been divorced and where the women just 0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:13.240 end up getting burnt at the end of it. And 0:34:15.239 --> 0:34:18.279 I want to make sure that when the day comes 0:34:18.280 --> 0:34:19.919 where I get married, if I choose to get married, 0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:22.360 if I'm in a long term relationship and I'm cohabiting 0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:25.200 with someone, habitating with someone, I want to make sure 0:34:25.280 --> 0:34:29.399 that the money that I've earned, every dollar I've ever made, 0:34:30.040 --> 0:34:32.279 nothing was ever given to me. So I know the 0:34:32.360 --> 0:34:34.560 value of a dollar. So it's very important for me 0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:37.080 to make sure that I protect what I've earned throughout 0:34:37.080 --> 0:34:41.319 the years of working and that, Um, I don't know 0:34:41.360 --> 0:34:43.560 if it's important. I don't know, Maybe I'm not, maybe 0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:46.839 I'm not thinking straight. But is it important to make 0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:49.160 sure that you both know how much money you have 0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:52.680 in the bank account? Or should women and men alike 0:34:53.320 --> 0:34:59.680 not have to display everything before entering? I think the 0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:04.320 question are you talking about pre marriage or after you're marriage. Uh, well, 0:35:04.680 --> 0:35:10.879 pre marriage, because I mean I went on a first 0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:13.319 date a couple of months ago and somehow we brought 0:35:13.360 --> 0:35:15.160 up the topic of credit scores and I have a 0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:17.879 really bad credit score and she has a really good 0:35:17.880 --> 0:35:20.600 credit score. And she goes that was we're still like, 0:35:20.600 --> 0:35:22.799 we still talking, we're still friends. Whatever, she goes, you're 0:35:22.800 --> 0:35:24.480 telling me your credit score was a pretty big red 0:35:24.480 --> 0:35:30.240 flag for me. Wow that you bet you modern day people, 0:35:30.280 --> 0:35:33.719 and you know, I'm not ashamed to admit the fact 0:35:33.800 --> 0:35:36.040 that I got a score in the six hundreds. It's growing, 0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:38.000 it's just gonna take a little bit of time. And 0:35:38.080 --> 0:35:40.359 the highest scores like eight hundred, it's not so far 0:35:40.440 --> 0:35:46.719 from yea that for getting off you. But no, I 0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:48.799 think if you're come into the marriage and you have 0:35:48.840 --> 0:35:50.839 a whole bunch of money, you might want to do 0:35:50.880 --> 0:35:53.759 a think about a pre nup. I'm not against that. 0:35:53.840 --> 0:35:55.839 Let's ask the question to Jared because he's engaged, right, 0:35:55.880 --> 0:35:58.680 So what do you and actually I'm certain sure discussed this. 0:35:59.120 --> 0:36:02.759 So what did you guys conclude? It's our money we make, 0:36:02.840 --> 0:36:06.080 is we're putting it? That's right? But Jahreed would about 0:36:06.080 --> 0:36:08.520 from before gan Us is saying she's worked hard for 0:36:08.560 --> 0:36:11.640 her money, right, that should stay your money. You have 0:36:11.719 --> 0:36:14.319 to throw it into the pot. Well, I don't know. 0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:16.759 I don't agree with that because like when I I 0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:19.359 had a business, my husband has a business. When we 0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:22.600 got together and I go, this is my business, let's 0:36:22.719 --> 0:36:24.440 you know, this is what I make. This is how 0:36:24.520 --> 0:36:26.600 much I've said, blah blah blah, And I said, what 0:36:26.680 --> 0:36:29.200 have you got to you know, contribute? So he brought 0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:33.000 everything along so I could look at I like that transparency. 0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:35.520 Everything I think in a marriage has to be transparent. 0:36:35.560 --> 0:36:38.200 If it is, you start having secrets. Right. No, I 0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:40.879 agree with the transparency. I just think that we need 0:36:40.920 --> 0:36:44.400 to protect ourselves because you never know what ends up happening. Right, 0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:46.759 And I've had women. I've had women come up to 0:36:46.800 --> 0:36:50.800 me and they're like, well, you know, I never agreed 0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:52.759 with the idea of prenup ever, because I was like, 0:36:52.840 --> 0:36:54.799 what's the point of having a printup and having and 0:36:54.840 --> 0:36:57.719 talking about a prenup before getting into marriage when you're 0:36:57.719 --> 0:37:00.279 basically saying, hey, there's a fifty fifty chance that we're 0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:03.800 not going to work out. But now I'm looking at as, Hey, 0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:07.480 why I don't want to end up like some couples, 0:37:07.480 --> 0:37:09.480 divorce rates are so high, like I think now it's 0:37:09.480 --> 0:37:13.160 like people that get married get divorced, and it is 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:15.879 really scary because dating nowadays it's not the same as 0:37:15.920 --> 0:37:18.000 it was like in the seventies and the eighties and 0:37:18.040 --> 0:37:22.520 the nineties, like it's it's very different. And I want 0:37:22.560 --> 0:37:26.080 to make sure if things do, if hits the fan, 0:37:26.440 --> 0:37:28.600 I want to make sure that we're able to end 0:37:29.040 --> 0:37:31.920 the relationship or the marriage or whatever it is on 0:37:32.000 --> 0:37:35.280 good terms without it having to be messy because of money. 0:37:35.280 --> 0:37:40.000 And money is the root of all people. That's true, Essa, 0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:43.560 I hear you, and he needs to respect you as 0:37:43.680 --> 0:37:47.000 the man that makes you feel safe to keep your money, 0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:50.440 and that man just say okay, honey, that's what we're 0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:52.880 going to do, because I sense it's going to be 0:37:52.880 --> 0:37:55.479 too uncomfortable for you to do it any other way. 0:37:56.200 --> 0:37:59.080 But you made a great point, Vanessa. The divorce rate 0:37:59.200 --> 0:38:02.840 is so very hi these days. That's why we buppies 0:38:03.360 --> 0:38:06.799 who are around to give advice seriously, and we do 0:38:07.160 --> 0:38:09.800 every Monday night on J J L t V A 0:38:10.000 --> 0:38:15.520 A PM. Vanessa, I've married a man that I was 0:38:15.600 --> 0:38:18.160 totally in love with, and ten years later I looked 0:38:18.160 --> 0:38:21.279 over at the pillow. I wanted to smuggle him. You know, 0:38:21.600 --> 0:38:24.440 you just don't know in life, so you thought to 0:38:24.560 --> 0:38:27.479 keep a little booty to your booty yourself. I don't 0:38:27.680 --> 0:38:32.719 think I don't know your booty or whatever. I think 0:38:32.719 --> 0:38:35.239 every situation is different. When I married my husband, he 0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:38.400 had been divorced five years and he really didn't have 0:38:38.520 --> 0:38:40.279 that much. I didn't have that much, so we were 0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:44.239 able to grow and build our lives together. So with 0:38:44.440 --> 0:38:46.600 you know, somebody that has money, like it's saying, it's 0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:49.160 a whole different situation you might want to do. I'm 0:38:49.200 --> 0:38:51.560 not saying I have money, even if it's five dollars. 0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:56.279 You know, yeah's here the next Western girl, Oh, thank 0:38:56.280 --> 0:38:59.279 you very much. Um, Dana oft to know. How do 0:38:59.320 --> 0:39:01.399 you deal with a guy who is love bombing you? 0:39:01.480 --> 0:39:04.000 For example, he comes on really strong. He mentioned your 0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:05.920 future on a third date. He wants to meet your 0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:09.320 parents in the near future. He needs constant communication plans 0:39:09.320 --> 0:39:11.920 the next date while on one date. I've come across 0:39:11.960 --> 0:39:13.520 a lot of men like this lately, and it's such 0:39:13.520 --> 0:39:18.320 a turn off. I don't believe him. He sounds too desperate. 0:39:18.400 --> 0:39:22.080 I don't believe that somebody's planning it. That's just like love. 0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:25.200 I love that expression love bombing. I don't believe that 0:39:25.360 --> 0:39:27.680 somebody is like, oh we're planning, we're gonna get married. 0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:30.720 Don't believe that guy. It just happened to me about 0:39:30.760 --> 0:39:34.000 seven months ago, and I wanted to throw up. I mean, 0:39:34.239 --> 0:39:36.560 if this happened to me like when I was younger, 0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:38.719 Oh my god, he loves me, he wants to do 0:39:38.760 --> 0:39:41.319 all this. Now I see through this. I mean what 0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:46.080 is love? Love is respect right, and that is garnered 0:39:46.160 --> 0:39:49.279 over time when you get to know someone too many, 0:39:49.320 --> 0:39:51.880 too many angles. He he was gone, he was I 0:39:52.040 --> 0:39:54.680 forgot his phone numbers. A turn off that would frighten 0:39:54.680 --> 0:39:56.680 me if someone came on that strong to me, I say, 0:39:56.760 --> 0:40:00.160 whoa back off? Back off? In my opinions were back 0:40:00.200 --> 0:40:02.000 to and understanding, right, and so how could you love 0:40:02.040 --> 0:40:04.040 someone that you don't fully understand? If that takes time, 0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:08.040 it takes right right. Well, as soon as I told him, 0:40:08.080 --> 0:40:10.600 I was getting this like major operation and all these 0:40:10.600 --> 0:40:17.319 things were happening. Bye bye. It doesn't call anymore. But 0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:20.240 so from my perspective, for someone that can fall quickly, 0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.040 I can see how someone can get excited, but it 0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:26.200 does kind of lead to like, uh, misunderstandings later on 0:40:26.560 --> 0:40:28.440 right because maybe you won't follow through with a lot 0:40:28.440 --> 0:40:29.840 of the things that you thought you could promise the 0:40:29.840 --> 0:40:34.319 person and leads to bad things. You take a step back. Yeah, yeah, 0:40:35.600 --> 0:40:41.440 I'm looking at you. You're so handsome. I'm saying, calmed down, 0:40:43.160 --> 0:40:46.840 you have bad breath. You're not what the list is 0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:54.040 endless somehow credit score show find you someone you want 0:40:54.040 --> 0:41:00.560 to come on Conversare you in modern dating? Would you say? 0:41:00.640 --> 0:41:02.840 Because I feel like, would you agree dating is a 0:41:02.840 --> 0:41:07.160 little different today, isn't it? The swipe right and leveling? 0:41:07.400 --> 0:41:09.960 My question? Do you know what bumble is? Well, it's 0:41:09.960 --> 0:41:14.399 a hair care product. I know that I do. I know. 0:41:14.440 --> 0:41:17.239 All this is that there's Bumble is one of the 0:41:17.360 --> 0:41:21.080 dating sites. But it's nothing. It's different from a thousand 0:41:21.200 --> 0:41:23.920 years ago or today. Love is love. You're look in 0:41:24.000 --> 0:41:26.520 somebody's eyes and you know, you know how they feel, 0:41:27.000 --> 0:41:29.120 and then that's what you should wait for. You should 0:41:29.120 --> 0:41:31.279 wait for that feeling that Cupid's come down and just 0:41:31.360 --> 0:41:33.920 shut your right through the heart. I really feel like 0:41:34.000 --> 0:41:37.440 today it looks like there's so many choices. There's too 0:41:37.480 --> 0:41:40.839 many choices, Like I was saying, swipe left, swipe right. 0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:44.480 You know, in my day, which was many years ago 0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:48.160 and sixteen years ago again, it was a little easier 0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:50.840 to find people and a little easier to find love, 0:41:51.080 --> 0:41:53.640 you know, than in today's with your swiping you have 0:41:53.719 --> 0:41:57.640 so many choices. How you gonna pick just one? You know? Well, 0:41:57.680 --> 0:42:00.959 you know, arranged marriages are nothing knew. They go back 0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:04.040 bounds of years, even in the Bible of Talks in Genesis, 0:42:04.680 --> 0:42:07.440 Isaac send somebody out to go meet Rebecca, bring her 0:42:07.480 --> 0:42:09.920 back to Canaan. They fall in love, they get married, 0:42:09.960 --> 0:42:13.680 they have family in common. And even in the Orthodox community, 0:42:13.680 --> 0:42:16.160 some more of Thedox community, they have a matchmakers set 0:42:16.200 --> 0:42:19.960 updates and they work. Yeah, so that's why we're here. 0:42:20.000 --> 0:42:21.480 I'm trying to pull up stats because you said that 0:42:21.480 --> 0:42:23.480 it used to be easier to get you know, in 0:42:23.520 --> 0:42:26.439 your day, it was easier to marry than is today 0:42:26.440 --> 0:42:28.440 because there's too many options. And it was in a 0:42:28.480 --> 0:42:31.000 book I was reading a while ago. I wish I 0:42:31.000 --> 0:42:32.520 could bring up the stats, but it was saying how 0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:35.760 marriage has evolved because back in the seventies, statistically speaking, 0:42:35.800 --> 0:42:38.200 you're more likely to get married to someone that lived 0:42:38.520 --> 0:42:40.960 in the same city as you, uh, and that has 0:42:41.000 --> 0:42:44.279 obviously decreased greatly throughout the years, and the same thing, 0:42:44.320 --> 0:42:46.680 like it's just gone. It's it's gone from like most 0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:50.240 likely to get married within the same city, state, country, 0:42:50.320 --> 0:42:52.759 and just you're doing their family because you just meet 0:42:52.760 --> 0:42:54.600 everybody all around the world. Like I opened up my 0:42:54.600 --> 0:42:56.600 phone and I'm connected to millions of people all across 0:42:56.640 --> 0:42:59.120 the globe. Well that's because you were on a TV show. 0:42:59.160 --> 0:43:03.640 Oh you kid fair. But it's interesting to me because 0:43:03.640 --> 0:43:05.960 I think it is harder to meet people because I 0:43:06.000 --> 0:43:08.439 do believe in that grass is greener on the other 0:43:08.480 --> 0:43:10.719 side theory, which says that people are always looking for 0:43:10.760 --> 0:43:12.880 the next best thing. They're almost looking for something that 0:43:12.920 --> 0:43:16.799 doesn't exist. It's different grass, That's what I always say. 0:43:16.800 --> 0:43:19.839 It grass is not green or just different grass doesn't 0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:22.720 mean it's going to be better grass than the grass 0:43:22.760 --> 0:43:25.360 that's in your row. If you help grow the grass 0:43:25.400 --> 0:43:28.960 in your own backyard and till it and stuff, then 0:43:29.000 --> 0:43:32.360 it's going to be great as opposed to like, oh 0:43:32.600 --> 0:43:35.360 that's better than what I've got. Jared is growing his 0:43:35.520 --> 0:43:42.480 grass with Ashley. The grass is growing. The moment that 0:43:42.560 --> 0:43:45.240 you knew that this is going to work, and she's 0:43:45.280 --> 0:43:49.960 not going to cry anymore. I love that. But I 0:43:50.000 --> 0:43:52.440 think that's the important thing to realize, especially about couples, 0:43:52.480 --> 0:43:55.040 that today that everything is not perfect. I think people 0:43:55.080 --> 0:43:57.040 look at Ashley and myself as this perfect couple and 0:43:57.120 --> 0:44:00.200 it's not. We argue sometimes, there's some bad moments, there's 0:44:00.239 --> 0:44:02.840 some animosity and obstacles that we have to overcome as 0:44:02.880 --> 0:44:04.719 a couple together. But I think that's the way we 0:44:04.760 --> 0:44:06.640 look at it, that we are a couple working together 0:44:06.680 --> 0:44:09.360 to overcome this obstacle because I've realized, especially in my 0:44:09.400 --> 0:44:11.480 past relationships, that it's always not going to be perfect, 0:44:11.480 --> 0:44:14.120 and the idea of looking for this this soul mate 0:44:14.160 --> 0:44:17.120 that fits every one of my needs is just ridiculous 0:44:17.160 --> 0:44:20.240 and childish to think. And so that's why it's commitment 0:44:20.280 --> 0:44:23.360 is a choice. Right, it's not a guy when right now. 0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:25.759 Give you a bubby hint, and it would be that 0:44:25.840 --> 0:44:28.200 when you do argue, try to take their hand and 0:44:28.280 --> 0:44:30.640 remember why you fell in love with them. Yeah. I mean, 0:44:30.680 --> 0:44:32.480 we don't have big blows, but of course there's you know, 0:44:32.560 --> 0:44:34.840 certain things that we talk about and have adult conversations. 0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:36.839 But I think it's good to let everybody know that 0:44:37.040 --> 0:44:39.440 so they don't see, oh, well, they're in a perfect relationship. 0:44:39.560 --> 0:44:42.400 Jared is just in cloud nine right now, and it's like, no, 0:44:42.520 --> 0:44:44.560 we're very We're two very real people that have been 0:44:44.600 --> 0:44:46.600 friends for quite some times, that know each other very well, 0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:49.160 and sometimes we have wonderful moments, and sometimes we have 0:44:49.200 --> 0:44:51.480 things that we have to work with, you know, together, 0:44:52.400 --> 0:44:55.400 Expect perfection, You're never gonna stay together. I feel like 0:44:55.400 --> 0:44:58.840 a lot of people today expected. That's the problem today everybody. 0:44:59.080 --> 0:45:02.759 So many people like expect the perfect whatever it is. Yeah, 0:45:02.960 --> 0:45:05.920 lighter happens. There is no perfect anything. No, And I 0:45:05.960 --> 0:45:07.880 think you guys can attest to this. You know, fifty 0:45:07.960 --> 0:45:10.719 years ago, women and men were getting married because it 0:45:10.760 --> 0:45:13.960 made sense because they you know, they it was so 0:45:14.239 --> 0:45:17.080 social status, wanted to start a family. Now people are 0:45:17.080 --> 0:45:18.759 getting married because they want to find their selman, they 0:45:18.760 --> 0:45:20.440 want to find their love. They're getting married later in 0:45:20.480 --> 0:45:23.160 life because they want to self discover themselves before they 0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:28.560 commit to somebody else. And so it's finny matchmakers finding matchmakers, 0:45:28.560 --> 0:45:32.040 which is something that going on in world. That's right, Bachelor, 0:45:32.040 --> 0:45:35.000 I Paradise, that's right. But I agree with you guys 0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:36.600 are saying. I think some people are just looking for 0:45:36.640 --> 0:45:39.120 something that just does not exist. There is no perfect 0:45:39.320 --> 0:45:42.200 That's all I gotta say. When you first meet, there's 0:45:42.280 --> 0:45:44.399 that all that chemistry and all that stuff. But then 0:45:44.440 --> 0:45:47.480 you know, the marriages and relationships that hang together is 0:45:47.520 --> 0:45:50.640 when you hang together during the difficult times, you understand 0:45:50.680 --> 0:45:53.080 life happened totally. One of my favorite quotes of all time, 0:45:53.640 --> 0:45:56.640 uh is gentlemen that I look up to very greatly. 0:45:56.640 --> 0:45:58.640 He was talking about marriage. He's been married for quite 0:45:58.640 --> 0:46:00.640 some time, and he said, you know, in the first year, 0:46:00.680 --> 0:46:03.680 it's all lovey dovey. You guys folding clothes together and 0:46:03.760 --> 0:46:07.680 you're just maddenlying love because it's in. There's infatuation and 0:46:07.719 --> 0:46:09.440 you guys are attracted to each other and it's new 0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:11.480 and it's great. And then some bad stuff is going 0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:13.480 to happen and then you guys are gonna have to 0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:15.520 work together to overcome those things. And if you can 0:46:15.600 --> 0:46:17.680 overcome those things together as a couple, that's when the 0:46:17.719 --> 0:46:20.520 real marriage starts. And that's when we love changes into 0:46:20.560 --> 0:46:23.960 something greater. That's greatly. Do you guys mind sharing with 0:46:24.000 --> 0:46:25.920 our listeners one more time where we can watch you 0:46:27.480 --> 0:46:32.280 Jewish Lifetime Television Network on Monday nights at eight pm 0:46:32.400 --> 0:46:41.239 at all j LTV Bubbies No Best. Thank you all 0:46:41.280 --> 0:46:43.480 so much for coming in today. It's always great to 0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:45.880 get a unique perspective. I don't think we've ever had 0:46:45.880 --> 0:46:47.640 a Bubby on the podcast before, so it's nice to 0:46:47.680 --> 0:46:51.000 kind of hear more from you guys. I'll definitely be 0:46:51.000 --> 0:46:54.759 tuning into Bubby's No Best Monday Night. We want to say, hey, 0:46:54.760 --> 0:46:57.879 I'm working on the show. Come on, I'll be there 0:46:57.920 --> 0:47:02.440 next week. Let's perfect because that night and then people 0:47:02.440 --> 0:47:05.480 who can't get enough need more dating Next Monday Night, 0:47:05.600 --> 0:47:17.320 eight o'clock. Best and the best of love, Vanessa, love you, 0:47:14.600 --> 0:47:22.480 love you alright, Dean. Last week you weren't here. I 0:47:22.520 --> 0:47:25.920 asked Vanessa ten questions about her life, dating life, anything 0:47:25.960 --> 0:47:29.520 to really do with relationships in general. So I figured, well, 0:47:29.560 --> 0:47:32.640 you're back in studio, why not we play another segment 0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:37.400 of ten questions with Dean and Vanessa. Well, I'm asking 0:47:37.400 --> 0:47:39.399 the questions, yeah, but I think you should be ten 0:47:39.440 --> 0:47:43.440 questions with Jared. It's because yeah, I answer them too, 0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:46.000 but it goes far more in depth with you two, 0:47:46.040 --> 0:47:47.800 because people just care more about you than they do me. 0:47:48.120 --> 0:47:53.400 Moving forward, here we go Ten questions with Dean and Vanessa. 0:47:53.480 --> 0:47:57.200 Is my Mike on, don't hear whistle. You're talking. Here 0:47:57.200 --> 0:47:59.759 we go, We're talking, all right? Ten questions here we go? No, 0:47:59.840 --> 0:48:04.080 I remember one, Dean and Vanessa. Who is your celebrity 0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:07.640 crush slash? Who's your hall pass? If you have a 0:48:07.680 --> 0:48:11.200 hall pass, you have one celebrity that you're significant other, Dean, 0:48:11.239 --> 0:48:13.040 you're gonna have to pretend for this one would let 0:48:13.080 --> 0:48:16.879 you date or pretty much sleep with? And who would 0:48:16.920 --> 0:48:20.399 that be? Emily Radikowski? That's your celebrity crush? I mean, 0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:22.440 she's gorgeous. Don't get me wrong. Is she dating anybody? Probably? 0:48:22.440 --> 0:48:24.120 I think she's married or something isn't Yeah, I think 0:48:24.120 --> 0:48:26.399 she's married. Oh good god, she is a gorgeous woman 0:48:26.400 --> 0:48:29.239 who was married last year at Sebastian Bear mcleard. I 0:48:29.280 --> 0:48:31.600 wonder if that great name. I wonder if I could 0:48:31.600 --> 0:48:33.799 be her pass. Maybe she's doing a podcast in some 0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:36.640 other universe right now answering the question with my name. 0:48:36.680 --> 0:48:38.319 I don't think it would be another universe because you're 0:48:38.360 --> 0:48:40.239 on TV, so she probably she may know who you are. 0:48:41.080 --> 0:48:49.400 Probably you are my answered, Dean, that's the answer is 0:48:49.440 --> 0:48:52.200 I'm looking for was paying attention. That's why I know 0:48:52.280 --> 0:48:56.759 it's funny. So I message Dean no hold on. We 0:48:56.800 --> 0:48:58.759 connected on Ryan and he's like, what are you doing 0:48:58.800 --> 0:49:01.240 on this thing? You're an earlier ship and I totally forgot. 0:49:01.239 --> 0:49:03.560 I still had the app on and there was like 0:49:03.560 --> 0:49:06.600 this notification, so Mike, I wanted to show. I wanted 0:49:06.600 --> 0:49:09.000 to show my boyfriend how it worked. And so Dean 0:49:09.120 --> 0:49:11.400 was the first profile that showed up, and I pressed 0:49:11.440 --> 0:49:13.400 like the because I said, I'm just here for friends. 0:49:13.600 --> 0:49:16.160 So I clicked the check mark and we connected. I 0:49:16.239 --> 0:49:18.240 was like, what what do you mean eye a profile? 0:49:18.640 --> 0:49:20.120 I didn't even check it. I just saw your face 0:49:20.120 --> 0:49:23.200 and I was like, oh, keep your Heart Young by 0:49:23.239 --> 0:49:27.319 Brandy Carlyle. Oh that's nice. But that's what I don't 0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:29.680 I don't know. I haven't checked my profile in months. 0:49:29.680 --> 0:49:33.279 What do you remember? I know you told us before 0:49:33.280 --> 0:49:34.960 it was like cold Play or something like that. No, 0:49:35.080 --> 0:49:36.919 I think it's like something with three AM. I don't 0:49:36.960 --> 0:49:40.480 know three AM matox. Yeah, yeah, there you go, right, 0:49:40.560 --> 0:49:43.239 you really have three M matchbox. If you guys cross 0:49:43.280 --> 0:49:45.480 you on ry to what you guys? Are you guys? 0:49:45.600 --> 0:49:47.239 Do you have short term memory loss? Because we've literally 0:49:47.239 --> 0:49:49.600 had this exact same conversation where Jared gushed over the 0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:53.920 fact that Vanessa used Matchbox. It's coming back to me now, 0:49:54.000 --> 0:49:58.000 I'm super bad memory. So apparently it's called Keep Your 0:49:58.040 --> 0:50:00.560 Heart Young by Brandy Carlisle. It's fantastic, you guys letting 0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:02.160 it out right now. It's a good feel a good song, 0:50:02.320 --> 0:50:05.239 all right. Number two, have you ever dated a friend's X? Now? 0:50:05.280 --> 0:50:07.600 This includes if you've ever hooked up with a friend's 0:50:07.800 --> 0:50:11.360 X one night. Now. This is an interesting question because 0:50:11.400 --> 0:50:14.680 obviously we're in the Bachelor franchise and we're kind of clear. 0:50:14.760 --> 0:50:19.000 I am, oh, well, whoa you really count? No, it 0:50:19.040 --> 0:50:21.120 doesn't really count because I didn't know Caitlin before. I'm 0:50:21.120 --> 0:50:25.440 friends with Caitlin now. But you're innocent, you hand, so 0:50:25.920 --> 0:50:29.560 don't I'm disqualified from this because I don't That was fair. Yeah, 0:50:29.760 --> 0:50:32.480 but in your personal life here, if you're dated uh 0:50:32.800 --> 0:50:39.960 an ex friend? Yeah you have outside of Bachelor? Okay, 0:50:40.200 --> 0:50:43.480 was that awkward at first? Yeah? How'd that come about? 0:50:44.840 --> 0:50:47.320 Because your friend was dating this person? Then they broke 0:50:47.400 --> 0:50:49.560 up and then you started. It wasn't very serious with 0:50:49.600 --> 0:50:53.040 my friend and the girl, and then I wanted to 0:50:53.040 --> 0:50:54.680 get serious with the girl. So we just had a 0:50:54.680 --> 0:50:58.640 conversation and figure it out. Alright, fair enough, alright. Number three. Now, 0:50:59.160 --> 0:51:01.399 if you could choose us, we've all been Deean, you've 0:51:01.400 --> 0:51:04.480 been on Paradise, Winter Games, Bachelorette, Vanessa, you've been on Bachelor. Now, 0:51:04.480 --> 0:51:06.440 if you could choose, would you rather be a contestant 0:51:06.480 --> 0:51:09.960 on The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise? Now, 0:51:09.960 --> 0:51:12.560 this includes being the lead on one of them. If 0:51:12.600 --> 0:51:14.680 you got to choose, If producers came to you said, hey, 0:51:14.719 --> 0:51:18.200 you have a choice to either be the Bachelor, Bachelor, Reid, Bachelorettes, 0:51:18.239 --> 0:51:20.480 excuse me, be a contestant on one of those shows, 0:51:20.719 --> 0:51:23.120 or be contestant on Bachelor in Paradise. Which one would 0:51:23.120 --> 0:51:27.319 you choose? Vanessa? I would probably choose Bachelorette, but on 0:51:27.360 --> 0:51:31.200 the condition that I can work with production to actually 0:51:31.400 --> 0:51:34.000 so that they can hire a matchmaker to find two 0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:36.239 guys that they know would be a really great match 0:51:36.280 --> 0:51:38.479 for me and not just like random thirty people that 0:51:38.840 --> 0:51:40.879 they think that I would connect with. But you would 0:51:40.880 --> 0:51:44.080 pick being the Bachelorette, Yeah, I choose zero. I choose 0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:47.840 none of them. You have to choose them. I probably 0:51:47.840 --> 0:51:51.280 do Paradise again. Interesting, so you would not be the Bachelor. 0:51:51.680 --> 0:51:55.200 There's just too much pressure. And that's why I asked 0:51:55.200 --> 0:51:57.680 the question because I was thinking in my head if 0:51:57.719 --> 0:51:59.640 I had to choose I actually and I were just 0:51:59.640 --> 0:52:01.919 talking to about it, what we choose, and I don't 0:52:01.920 --> 0:52:03.680 know if I choose being the Bachelor already I had. 0:52:03.760 --> 0:52:05.160 I don't know if I ever talked about this publicly 0:52:05.200 --> 0:52:06.839 on this podcast, but they were talking to me about 0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:09.040 being the Bachelor after my season of Bachelor at and 0:52:09.080 --> 0:52:10.920 I said, I said, sure, but you guys have to 0:52:10.920 --> 0:52:13.400 realize it's a really bad decision for you because I 0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:15.239 don't even know if I want to get married. I'm 0:52:15.239 --> 0:52:17.920 not ready. But that's fine, but that's okay. You can 0:52:17.960 --> 0:52:20.040 just end up in a serious relationship. I don't see 0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:21.719 what the pressure is of, like having to put a 0:52:21.800 --> 0:52:23.440 ring on it. I don't know. I think they should 0:52:23.480 --> 0:52:25.400 change a little bit. I told. I told them, I 0:52:25.400 --> 0:52:27.480 was like, look, I again, I'll do it. But I 0:52:27.560 --> 0:52:29.200 just want you to know odds are pretty high that 0:52:29.239 --> 0:52:30.920 I probably wouldn't propose to anyone by the end of 0:52:30.920 --> 0:52:32.799 the season. Any think that's why they didn't choose you. 0:52:32.920 --> 0:52:34.759 I'm sure there's many reasons why they didn't end up 0:52:34.800 --> 0:52:37.200 going with me. But I'm sure that was factored into 0:52:37.200 --> 0:52:39.560 the equation. Yeah, but Vanessa, part of being on the 0:52:39.600 --> 0:52:43.040 show is being ready for a marriage, right, But you 0:52:43.080 --> 0:52:46.319 can be ready. I was definitely ready for marriage. I mean, 0:52:46.760 --> 0:52:49.680 it's really that my engagement didn't work out. I think 0:52:49.800 --> 0:52:53.040 there's a higher success rate if you could get to 0:52:53.080 --> 0:52:56.040 know each other and then get and then get proposed 0:52:56.080 --> 0:52:58.360 to and then go into marriage. I don't think you 0:52:58.440 --> 0:53:00.399 have to get engaged at the end of the show. Yeah, 0:53:00.440 --> 0:53:02.640 but that's not how the show works. I get that, 0:53:02.719 --> 0:53:05.719 but I listen, that's my mentality. I I did. I'm 0:53:05.760 --> 0:53:08.759 happy I did, and um, I'm happy I had that 0:53:08.800 --> 0:53:12.359 conversation with it because he was basically like, yeah, that's fair, 0:53:12.560 --> 0:53:16.799 all right, numb before, where's the strangest place you ever made? Whoopee? 0:53:17.360 --> 0:53:19.120 You kidding me? You never heard whoopy? I don't know 0:53:19.160 --> 0:53:21.000 what whoope is. I bet the bobbies know. What would 0:53:23.320 --> 0:53:27.480 I don't know. Maybe a park, a public park, public park, 0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:29.279 public park in broad daylight. I would say it's probably 0:53:29.280 --> 0:53:31.279 the weirdest place where there are others present, plenty of 0:53:31.320 --> 0:53:34.000 other people present. You're joking, that's actually a funny story 0:53:34.560 --> 0:53:36.960 that I'll share. Um, it was years ago. It was 0:53:37.080 --> 0:53:39.000 during a thing called Santa Con or you get similiary 0:53:39.040 --> 0:53:41.680 Santa con in New York. It's in San Francisco. I'm 0:53:41.680 --> 0:53:43.640 sure there's one New York Santa Monica over. It's basically 0:53:43.640 --> 0:53:45.720 just thousands of people coming together dressing up like Santa 0:53:45.719 --> 0:53:48.520 Claus doing a pub crawl. We were in San Francisco 0:53:48.560 --> 0:53:50.160 with like forty of our friends and we were all 0:53:50.200 --> 0:53:52.840 obviously drinking and partying and all dressed up like Santa Claus, 0:53:52.880 --> 0:53:55.320 and me and my girlfriend at the time both decided 0:53:55.480 --> 0:53:58.520 to um make whoopee if you will in Santa class 0:53:58.520 --> 0:54:00.799 toombs in the middle of a public park, in the 0:54:00.800 --> 0:54:04.440 middle of Broadway. Did you get caught? No, I don't know. 0:54:04.440 --> 0:54:07.840 I just felt it was just fun. Beard on. I 0:54:07.880 --> 0:54:09.279 don't know if she had a beard on, but she 0:54:09.400 --> 0:54:12.000 was in a full Santa Clause outfit, and so was I. 0:54:12.080 --> 0:54:13.600 It's just it's just funny to think of two Santa 0:54:13.640 --> 0:54:21.080 Claus going at it, and then the chimney Vanessa, what 0:54:21.120 --> 0:54:24.080 about you? I wanted to share, but then I'm like, 0:54:24.080 --> 0:54:26.680 I know my dad listened to this podcast, Oh so 0:54:26.840 --> 0:54:29.239 was it in your parents? Like, you know, I just 0:54:29.280 --> 0:54:32.239 don't want my parents to know that I what is 0:54:32.280 --> 0:54:37.520 this mean? Yeah, that I did a whoopee in Um, okay, fine, 0:54:37.560 --> 0:54:40.200 I'll just share it. So I was on vacations and 0:54:41.040 --> 0:54:44.480 what I said that was easy. Yeah. So I was 0:54:44.520 --> 0:54:47.520 on vacation and you know, sometimes you just want to 0:54:47.520 --> 0:54:51.720 do something a little bit out of the box. And um, 0:54:51.840 --> 0:54:59.560 so we we walked into someone's garage and made whooping 0:54:59.719 --> 0:55:01.840 there were oh nice Jared garage. Jen. I wanted to 0:55:01.840 --> 0:55:05.720 answer this question to please right a strangers gage. Okay, 0:55:06.480 --> 0:55:08.359 I like the adventurous. It's a crime. That's a crime. 0:55:10.239 --> 0:55:12.400 Did you come down this chimney? But it was a question. 0:55:13.320 --> 0:55:17.120 Jaredy answer the question too. Yeah, it was in a basement. Um, 0:55:17.200 --> 0:55:20.560 but it was. It was. It was weird. It was 0:55:20.600 --> 0:55:23.160 at my girlfriend's college at the time, but so it 0:55:23.200 --> 0:55:25.400 wasn't in her dorm. It was like in this basement. 0:55:25.440 --> 0:55:28.360 For some reason, we just thought it would be spontaneous 0:55:28.400 --> 0:55:31.360 and I ended up I ended up bending down at 0:55:31.440 --> 0:55:34.319 one point and hit my head against a pipe and 0:55:34.360 --> 0:55:37.560 I got a black eye from it. Was so for 0:55:37.640 --> 0:55:39.759 like two months afterward, I had a black eye. And 0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:42.840 I've obviously lied to my parents and told them that 0:55:42.880 --> 0:55:45.360 I just I did it while like walking into the 0:55:45.360 --> 0:55:48.319 gym or something and banged my eye while it really 0:55:48.360 --> 0:55:49.879 was trying to make whoop be in the basement alright. 0:55:49.960 --> 0:55:53.319 Number five On this podcast, we're talking last week about 0:55:53.320 --> 0:55:55.680 how we should learn a new dating term each week. 0:55:56.320 --> 0:55:58.560 So this week, have you guys ever heard of the 0:55:58.680 --> 0:56:01.480 term cuffing? See is in cuffing cee U F F 0:56:01.560 --> 0:56:03.560 I n G. Who hasn't heard a coffing season? Well, 0:56:04.600 --> 0:56:06.160 there we go, Dean, would you care to explain what 0:56:06.239 --> 0:56:08.480 you think cuffing season? At home? And actually, Vanessa, what 0:56:08.480 --> 0:56:12.920 do you think it is? First? Okay, coffing cuffing coffing 0:56:13.200 --> 0:56:16.279 as in cuffs, Like, yeah, coffing season. Oh, I know, 0:56:16.360 --> 0:56:20.680 I know. Winter very good a lot in the winter, 0:56:21.080 --> 0:56:23.000 cough a lot all the time. You know, it's it's 0:56:23.040 --> 0:56:26.920 cold season, like you wanna you wanna know because you 0:56:26.960 --> 0:56:29.680 want to like, um, you want to make sure you're 0:56:29.719 --> 0:56:32.880 settling down with someone because it's cold and you wanna 0:56:33.640 --> 0:56:36.359 be coosy with someone so like you're like you're arresting them. 0:56:36.360 --> 0:56:38.879 It's like musical chairs the music could have a chair 0:56:39.040 --> 0:56:41.600 quickly totally it is have somebody now it is? Is 0:56:41.600 --> 0:56:43.279 that what you thought it was Dean. Well, yeah, of course, 0:56:43.320 --> 0:56:45.040 of course you know what it is. It is described 0:56:45.040 --> 0:56:47.239 as during the fall in winter months, people who would 0:56:47.280 --> 0:56:51.080 normally rather be single or permiscuous find themselves, along with 0:56:51.120 --> 0:56:54.759 the rest of the world, desiring to be cuffed or 0:56:54.880 --> 0:56:57.480 tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and 0:56:57.600 --> 0:57:01.200 parl longed indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and 0:57:01.360 --> 0:57:04.000 desperate to be coffed. Now that obviously goes to the 0:57:04.040 --> 0:57:07.440 opposite of that, which is uncoffing season, usually during the 0:57:07.480 --> 0:57:09.920 spring and summer months, when people who are previously in 0:57:09.920 --> 0:57:13.239 relationship during the winter break, uh, they break up with 0:57:13.280 --> 0:57:15.680 their girlfriend or boyfriend to be free for the summer 0:57:15.760 --> 0:57:18.600 and warm months so you can play the field and 0:57:18.720 --> 0:57:23.160 not be tied down during the best times of your life. 0:57:23.680 --> 0:57:27.440 Coffing season and uncoffing season. And this coffing season affects you, 0:57:27.480 --> 0:57:29.600 do you get those desires as you're as the guy 0:57:29.640 --> 0:57:32.920 who celebrates non monogamy. I think the thing that messes 0:57:32.920 --> 0:57:35.840 with me most is just my friends practice coffing season, 0:57:35.880 --> 0:57:37.800 and so it's like when all your good friends are, 0:57:38.120 --> 0:57:40.720 you know, kind of coupling up over the over the 0:57:40.720 --> 0:57:42.760 winter months, that kind of thing. Then you're kind of like, oh, well, 0:57:42.840 --> 0:57:45.600 why am I not doing that? Um, but no, I 0:57:45.680 --> 0:57:47.400 don't know. That's we live in l at summer year 0:57:47.400 --> 0:57:50.120 around here. He's in a quite ironic that uncoffing season 0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:53.640 occurs during Bachelor in Paradise. Um, No, it's like uncoffing. 0:57:53.640 --> 0:57:56.000 You're going on paradise to kind of like meet singles, 0:57:56.000 --> 0:57:58.320 but yet the entire idea of the show is to 0:57:58.360 --> 0:58:03.600 get engaged. Yeah, it was badly suggesting this, but maybe 0:58:03.680 --> 0:58:07.960 five questions? Yeah, you guys, I have a question for 0:58:07.960 --> 0:58:10.720 you guys. You guys know what b D means. Hell, yeah, 0:58:11.000 --> 0:58:14.640 Mark's got it, Pete David's the guy. What's p D? 0:58:15.000 --> 0:58:20.800 What is it? P D b D E? What's that? Yeah? 0:58:20.840 --> 0:58:23.680 I know that one. Okay, I just figured that one out. 0:58:23.720 --> 0:58:26.160 I was like, whoa us. This room was overflowing with 0:58:26.200 --> 0:58:31.000 bed between Mark Eason and Jared. It's just all right. 0:58:31.040 --> 0:58:35.640 That was five questions with Dean and Vanessay. I do 0:58:35.680 --> 0:58:37.040 have a couple of emails I want to get to 0:58:37.120 --> 0:58:39.040 before we go because I find these. I love when 0:58:39.040 --> 0:58:42.320 we get unique questions that we've never heard before. Kelsey, 0:58:42.520 --> 0:58:44.360 I don't make much money, but my boyfriend has a 0:58:44.360 --> 0:58:46.720 corporate job and his paychecks are three to four times mine. 0:58:47.000 --> 0:58:48.840 We're looking at apartments and we found when we love. 0:58:48.960 --> 0:58:51.840 When discussing what I could afford, I offered basically my 0:58:52.080 --> 0:58:54.760 bi monthly paycheck, and he offered less than one quarter 0:58:55.200 --> 0:58:57.960 of his salary, which is still more than mine. However, 0:58:58.000 --> 0:58:59.919 we're still short on rent, and he asked the fire 0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:03.800 could increase my budget, but I really can't. I feel 0:59:03.800 --> 0:59:06.080 like as my boyfriend, he should understand that I don't 0:59:06.120 --> 0:59:07.880 have any money and he makes a lot more money. 0:59:07.920 --> 0:59:10.400 He shouldn't be asking me to add more money. Am 0:59:10.400 --> 0:59:12.960 I being overly sensitive? Or do I make a valid argument? 0:59:13.640 --> 0:59:18.520 Valid argument? Okay, so yes, I think things should be 0:59:18.760 --> 0:59:22.280 split fift someone who like it. Takes pride in working 0:59:22.320 --> 0:59:26.080 and making my own money, but at the end of 0:59:26.120 --> 0:59:29.040 the day, like my fifty percent might be very different 0:59:29.040 --> 0:59:33.560 than someone else's. I dated someone, hold on, I dated 0:59:33.600 --> 0:59:37.760 someone that um wanted a luxurious like place to live in, 0:59:38.080 --> 0:59:39.920 and I was like, well, all I can afford is 0:59:40.080 --> 0:59:42.480 X amount of money per rent. So I said, well, 0:59:42.520 --> 0:59:44.560 all I can offer is this amount of money per rent, 0:59:45.080 --> 0:59:48.080 this amount of money per month for rent, and if 0:59:48.120 --> 0:59:50.640 you want to get this specific place, then you're gonna 0:59:50.640 --> 0:59:54.280 have to put in whatever, um whatever half that I 0:59:54.360 --> 0:59:57.800 can't afford. And I think that was fair because it 0:59:57.920 --> 1:00:01.320 was I was still paying my rent and they wanted 1:00:01.360 --> 1:00:03.479 to live in something that I couldn't afford at the time, 1:00:04.080 --> 1:00:07.280 so that was my That kind of goes against what 1:00:07.320 --> 1:00:12.200 you're saying earlier though, what the bubbies here. I feel like, listen, 1:00:12.200 --> 1:00:14.240 if you're making more money and you want to live 1:00:14.280 --> 1:00:19.080 somewhere that's a little bit more, that's that the person 1:00:19.160 --> 1:00:21.360 can't afford, then how is that fair? So then let's 1:00:21.400 --> 1:00:24.800 live according to the person who makes less money. I agree. 1:00:24.840 --> 1:00:26.920 I think that you should set your budget before you 1:00:26.960 --> 1:00:28.920 begin looking. And if someone wants to say someone it's 1:00:28.960 --> 1:00:30.800 more expensive than you, just say, Okay, this is what 1:00:30.840 --> 1:00:32.440 I was supposed to pay. If you want to live 1:00:32.480 --> 1:00:34.240 in this area, that's on you, but this is our budget. 1:00:34.240 --> 1:00:37.040 We can get a place somewhere else with that money. Yeah, 1:00:37.040 --> 1:00:39.160 you have to compromise before you guys even think about 1:00:40.000 --> 1:00:43.120 getting a place, um, because it should be like it all, 1:00:43.160 --> 1:00:44.640 It all depends on what you discuss. It should be 1:00:45.120 --> 1:00:46.800 if you guys wanted to be fifty or if you 1:00:46.800 --> 1:00:49.480 think you're gonna get married and you want to combine 1:00:49.520 --> 1:00:51.720 bank accounts, then one person should pay and it's all 1:00:51.800 --> 1:00:53.920 one lup some of rent. By the way, I have 1:00:53.960 --> 1:00:56.320 an update on my living situation if anyone's curious. I'm 1:00:56.320 --> 1:00:59.000 moving out of my house in May and I'm going 1:00:59.040 --> 1:01:01.720 to move full time in to a van. Interesting is like, 1:01:02.400 --> 1:01:05.000 stop it really for three months? I'm stebad leasing my 1:01:05.080 --> 1:01:06.960 room in my house for three months May to August. 1:01:08.200 --> 1:01:09.880 I've wanted to do van life for a long time. 1:01:09.920 --> 1:01:12.880 Now marks given me a weird look, just baffling to me. 1:01:13.040 --> 1:01:15.480 But I guess with you, I shouldn't be supersed. I 1:01:15.560 --> 1:01:16.840 wanted to live in a van for a long time. 1:01:16.880 --> 1:01:18.240 I know I need to do it while I'm still 1:01:18.280 --> 1:01:22.400 young and still single. Um, it's kind Do you follow 1:01:22.440 --> 1:01:24.640 this guy on Instagram? I think he's from Montreal. He's 1:01:24.640 --> 1:01:26.840 like really good looking and he lives in a van. 1:01:27.440 --> 1:01:29.680 I'll send you his Instagram page, but anyway, he like 1:01:29.880 --> 1:01:32.160 it looks like I said, I got such a fulfilling life, 1:01:32.160 --> 1:01:34.400 and I'm like, damn, I want that. Yeah, what is 1:01:34.440 --> 1:01:37.240 appealing about living in a van? Um? I mean, it's 1:01:37.240 --> 1:01:39.920 just like a nomadic experience. You're kind of responsible for 1:01:39.960 --> 1:01:42.160 where you sleep and where you wake up, And I 1:01:42.200 --> 1:01:43.720 don't know, it just seems like something that you can 1:01:43.760 --> 1:01:46.560 do to kind of get away from everything for travel 1:01:46.640 --> 1:01:48.840 America or yeah, I'm gonna drive up to like Yosemite 1:01:48.920 --> 1:01:50.880 or like over to Arizona, go to like Grand Canyon, Zion, 1:01:50.920 --> 1:01:52.480 those types of places. I've always wanted to see the 1:01:52.680 --> 1:01:54.240 amount rushmore. I know it's kind of more of a 1:01:54.240 --> 1:01:56.840 flight thing that's a long drive, but it's always a possibility. 1:01:57.040 --> 1:01:58.520 What type of van are we talking about, like the 1:01:58.560 --> 1:02:01.000 old school of VWST Folia with a pop top. Oh 1:02:01.080 --> 1:02:02.959 that's a good van. Yeah, a little bit more pricey 1:02:02.960 --> 1:02:04.560 than I thought they were going to be. Um. I'm 1:02:04.560 --> 1:02:06.600 also gonna be in Europe for like a month in July, 1:02:06.800 --> 1:02:08.080 and so I'm like, well, I might as well just 1:02:08.840 --> 1:02:11.240 you know, you should buy the Mystery Machine. Yeah, it'd 1:02:11.240 --> 1:02:13.000 be cool. I could be Scoop. I could totally see 1:02:13.080 --> 1:02:17.440 Dean driving around the Mystery Machine this podcast. So I 1:02:17.440 --> 1:02:19.600 don't have to live in a van. That's why I'm hearing. 1:02:20.040 --> 1:02:24.120 That's interesting how different goals are right now. I mean, hey, look, 1:02:24.320 --> 1:02:25.600 like I said, I've always wanted to do it. I 1:02:25.680 --> 1:02:27.040 lived in an RV for four years when I was 1:02:27.040 --> 1:02:28.960 a little kid. So maybe this is like me returning 1:02:28.960 --> 1:02:30.640 to my roots. My brother has done it for the 1:02:30.680 --> 1:02:32.720 past like five years, and he seems to be pretty 1:02:32.760 --> 1:02:35.120 happy with it. And it fits your nomadic lifestyle. You're 1:02:35.120 --> 1:02:37.800 always traveling and you're not tied down. I will say, 1:02:37.800 --> 1:02:40.240 I can I can imagine it will make me significantly 1:02:40.280 --> 1:02:42.760 less appealing to the opposite sex. But that's fine, that's 1:02:42.800 --> 1:02:47.040 just you know, that's just I don't think so. I 1:02:47.080 --> 1:02:48.840 mean to have more money in your bank account. Well, 1:02:48.880 --> 1:02:50.800 it's not really that that I'm doing it. How are 1:02:50.840 --> 1:02:53.720 you going to clean yourself? Oh that's the thing, Marcus, 1:02:54.480 --> 1:02:57.080 I just won't, I think a big negative to the female. No, 1:02:57.120 --> 1:02:59.240 I'll get JYM memberships. I'll go cleaning myself on the 1:02:59.280 --> 1:03:01.320 ocean every once in a while. There are ways it 1:03:01.360 --> 1:03:03.000 could be done. I was in Mexico, remember last year 1:03:03.080 --> 1:03:04.840 or last year, for like two weeks living in an 1:03:04.880 --> 1:03:08.240 RV with Courtney. Didn't shower once. Phenomenal. You want to 1:03:08.240 --> 1:03:10.080 tell Mark and Easton we you just started using again. 1:03:10.160 --> 1:03:12.040 I just started using soap again. You guys would all 1:03:12.040 --> 1:03:17.479 be pleased to Yeah, yeah, there was there's a story 1:03:17.480 --> 1:03:20.080 behind it that I probably shouldn't share, but I'm going to. Anyways, 1:03:20.400 --> 1:03:23.480 I got a rash all over my stomach, which I thought, 1:03:23.520 --> 1:03:25.520 oh yeah, I remember that, which I thought to be shingles. 1:03:25.560 --> 1:03:28.280 I thought that I contracted shingles at one point. Um 1:03:28.360 --> 1:03:30.000 turned out was just contact dermatitis. It was like an 1:03:30.040 --> 1:03:32.360 allergic reaction to something. But it was on my stomming 1:03:32.360 --> 1:03:33.520 for maybe a couple of weeks, and I was like, 1:03:33.520 --> 1:03:35.440 this is just getting worse. It's not really getting any better. 1:03:35.480 --> 1:03:37.040 And I started using soap, and the soaps are just 1:03:37.040 --> 1:03:39.200 to clear it right up. So's amazing like that. It's 1:03:39.240 --> 1:03:41.760 I'm gonna stand up right now. It's actually got a 1:03:41.760 --> 1:03:47.040 little bit worse. It's a rash. I don't know how 1:03:47.040 --> 1:03:50.640 excited you should be over that very sexy rash. Start 1:03:50.720 --> 1:03:52.520 over too. I don't know what's going on. It's not 1:03:52.720 --> 1:03:55.680 it's not the best thing in the world. But I 1:03:55.720 --> 1:03:58.960 remember when yep, I think I got a skydiving back 1:03:59.000 --> 1:04:00.840 in January, I said in his bunk house for a 1:04:00.840 --> 1:04:04.040 couple of days, Um, but your back to underwear. No 1:04:04.120 --> 1:04:08.640 not no, no underwear. You know that. I'm using body 1:04:08.680 --> 1:04:11.720 so up at least once, probably too out every three days. 1:04:12.040 --> 1:04:17.160 Champoon condition once a week. My skin has ever been dryer. Sorry, No, 1:04:17.280 --> 1:04:18.840 you're fine. I love talking about your skin. I just 1:04:18.880 --> 1:04:20.800 wanted to ask one more thing about that last email 1:04:20.840 --> 1:04:23.320 to Vanessa before we move on. Vanessa, if the rolls 1:04:23.320 --> 1:04:24.840 are reversed and it was the girl that had to 1:04:24.840 --> 1:04:26.560 support the guy by paying more and rent, would you 1:04:26.600 --> 1:04:29.919 still agree to that? Its just the PC answer, though, 1:04:30.440 --> 1:04:35.120 No it's not. It's really not all right. That's next 1:04:35.160 --> 1:04:37.880 email from Claudia. I've been with my now ex for 1:04:37.920 --> 1:04:40.480 only six months. I just found I had been with 1:04:40.480 --> 1:04:42.160 my now x sorry for only six months. I just 1:04:42.160 --> 1:04:44.920 found out that during the exclusive time not like putting 1:04:44.960 --> 1:04:47.440 a label on it time, but we were exclusive, my 1:04:47.480 --> 1:04:50.000 boyfriend cheated on me twice. I instantly broke up with 1:04:50.080 --> 1:04:52.480 him when I found out. Now I'm second guessing myself. 1:04:52.520 --> 1:04:54.400 I really loved him, and he says he really loved 1:04:54.440 --> 1:04:56.480 me too. He also said he's not going to give 1:04:56.560 --> 1:04:59.920 up on us, but he also cheated on his previous girlfriend. 1:05:00.360 --> 1:05:02.000 Is it worth thinking him back or my right to 1:05:02.040 --> 1:05:06.520 have broken up with him right away? All right, here's 1:05:06.560 --> 1:05:09.960 what makes me frustrated about this email. What does it mean? 1:05:10.920 --> 1:05:14.200 I just found out during the quote exclusive, but not 1:05:14.320 --> 1:05:16.680 like putting a label on. Look. I just found out 1:05:16.680 --> 1:05:19.520 about this too with the Morning Show with the Secrets 1:05:19.520 --> 1:05:22.200 Morning Show staff. Now apparently now and you guys are 1:05:22.240 --> 1:05:24.200 in the dating world, you can confirm this. For me, 1:05:24.760 --> 1:05:28.080 there is exclusive time and then there is boyfriend girlfriend time. 1:05:28.120 --> 1:05:31.520 Those are two separate levels of the relationship. I hate everybody. 1:05:31.720 --> 1:05:35.360 I agree that this is nonsense to me, What does 1:05:35.400 --> 1:05:37.720 that even mean? So boyfriend and girlfriend? You could you're 1:05:37.840 --> 1:05:40.480 still dating other people? No, no, no, that comes after that. 1:05:40.600 --> 1:05:43.240 The conversation first is we're not sleeping with other people? 1:05:43.440 --> 1:05:46.760 Got it. Then the next conversation months later is you're 1:05:46.800 --> 1:05:49.040 my boyfriend or you're my girlfriend. I think that once 1:05:49.080 --> 1:05:50.480 you say you're not sleeping other people, and then they 1:05:50.480 --> 1:05:54.280 because yeah, I agree to I think it's exclusive, not 1:05:54.440 --> 1:05:58.040 like we're exclusive sleeping together. It's exclusive to each other emotionally. 1:05:58.120 --> 1:06:00.160 I'm willing to bet that Claudia and him never had 1:06:00.200 --> 1:06:03.640 that exclusive talk. I bet you that she thought it 1:06:03.680 --> 1:06:05.680 was assumed that they were in the exclusive period. He 1:06:05.800 --> 1:06:08.080 probably didn't think the same thing. He was hooking up 1:06:08.120 --> 1:06:10.760 other girls. At least I hope that the very least 1:06:10.760 --> 1:06:12.680 he was honest about it. It sounds like he might. 1:06:12.920 --> 1:06:15.800 Sounds like she wouldn't have known. I don't consider was 1:06:15.840 --> 1:06:17.480 he honest or was it did he get caught. I 1:06:17.480 --> 1:06:19.920 don't consider that cheating if he was honest, if he 1:06:20.000 --> 1:06:22.880 was honest about sleeping with other girls. Yeah, she asked 1:06:22.920 --> 1:06:24.760 him and he was like, yeah, I am hoping with 1:06:25.360 --> 1:06:27.640 not cheating because they were never label as boyfriend girlfriend. 1:06:27.720 --> 1:06:29.520 Because here's the thing. I think you can't assume that 1:06:29.560 --> 1:06:31.920 you're exclusive just because you're hooking albo. You have to 1:06:31.920 --> 1:06:33.800 have a conversation about it. That's what makes me frustrated 1:06:33.760 --> 1:06:36.600 about today's dating. It's like, well, we're not boyfriend girlfriend, 1:06:36.640 --> 1:06:38.280 but we're not seeing other people. And it's like, well, 1:06:38.320 --> 1:06:40.000 what does that even mean? Why would you not be 1:06:40.080 --> 1:06:41.640 boyfriend girlfriend if you're not going to try to work 1:06:41.680 --> 1:06:46.640 towards something or if you're if you're exclusive your boyfriend girlfriend. 1:06:46.680 --> 1:06:49.880 If you're not exclusive, you're not well. I think Claude 1:06:49.880 --> 1:06:52.240 needs to have that conversation with him if she if 1:06:52.280 --> 1:06:57.240 she wants to actually be exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend, then yeah, whatever, 1:06:57.280 --> 1:07:00.280 give him another chance. Maybe there was some miscommunication and 1:07:00.440 --> 1:07:03.680 you thought that you guys were exclusive, and that's why 1:07:03.720 --> 1:07:06.200 he quote unquot cheated. But maybe Claudia, we just want 1:07:06.200 --> 1:07:07.680 to say we love you and we really appreciate you 1:07:07.680 --> 1:07:10.400 listening to the podcast, But you're the headline. Am I 1:07:10.440 --> 1:07:12.440 wrong for breaking up with my cheating boyfriend? He's not 1:07:12.480 --> 1:07:15.120 your boyfriend. I will say too, that the second paragraph 1:07:15.200 --> 1:07:16.919 kind of sticks out where he said where she says 1:07:17.240 --> 1:07:19.120 I really loved him and he says you really loved 1:07:19.120 --> 1:07:21.360 me too. You're not really saying you love someone unless 1:07:21.360 --> 1:07:24.000 you're in a relationship with them, And if you love someone, 1:07:24.000 --> 1:07:25.640 you're probably not talking about other people. So I would 1:07:25.640 --> 1:07:27.880 say maybe, I don't know. People just mess around with 1:07:27.880 --> 1:07:30.680 each other's heads. I find we clearly need more information 1:07:30.680 --> 1:07:32.720 on this. Bottom line is you need to decide what 1:07:32.880 --> 1:07:35.560 is important to you and what your standards are for 1:07:35.560 --> 1:07:37.920 a relationship. And if you don't mind somebody who's going 1:07:37.960 --> 1:07:39.680 behind your back, then go back to him. But I 1:07:39.680 --> 1:07:43.760 don't again, Yeah, I don't know. No, I agree, Claudia. 1:07:43.840 --> 1:07:46.440 Best thing would probably just give the same thing ultimatum. 1:07:46.640 --> 1:07:48.160 You know, either we're going to be in a relationship 1:07:48.200 --> 1:07:50.480 and work towards something or we're not. Although I don't 1:07:50.480 --> 1:07:52.520 believe in the whole ultimatum thing either. But it sounds 1:07:52.560 --> 1:07:56.360 like something has to happen, because how often does a 1:07:56.360 --> 1:07:59.360 good relationship start off ultimatums are not good? Well, it 1:07:59.400 --> 1:08:02.240 doesn't start like this. They've been I've been with my 1:08:02.440 --> 1:08:04.600 ex for six months. Six months, I've been given the 1:08:04.640 --> 1:08:07.440 ultimatum thing before. I think she just needs to have 1:08:07.480 --> 1:08:09.640 an honest conversation with him, and that is her form 1:08:09.640 --> 1:08:12.480 of ultimatum. But if you cheat, if you feel you 1:08:12.480 --> 1:08:14.440 were cheated on and you know he cheated on an X, 1:08:14.640 --> 1:08:17.559 you're going into this without any trust whatsoever. That's not 1:08:17.600 --> 1:08:19.559 a great relationship. What she needs to do is just 1:08:19.560 --> 1:08:23.160 clearly to find their relationship. If he if their boyfriend girlfriend, 1:08:23.240 --> 1:08:25.280 and they both agreed to understand that, and then he 1:08:25.280 --> 1:08:27.519 looks up with someone else again and that isn't defined 1:08:27.520 --> 1:08:29.600 in the relationship before, then that's when you know that 1:08:29.640 --> 1:08:31.120 you don't have to ever trust this guy again. In 1:08:31.160 --> 1:08:33.240 my opinion, now, I feel like it's almost too much 1:08:33.240 --> 1:08:35.559 of a gray area right now. That's why it's marks 1:08:35.560 --> 1:08:38.800 point communication. Figure it out, set out the parameters of 1:08:38.800 --> 1:08:43.400 the relationship, and then hope for the best. Emily says, 1:08:43.439 --> 1:08:45.040 I met a guy recently and we have so much 1:08:45.040 --> 1:08:47.120 in common. We even kissed a few times. After a 1:08:47.160 --> 1:08:49.040 few days of talking to him, he dropped the bomb 1:08:49.040 --> 1:08:51.439 that he has a four year old son. He's essentially 1:08:51.520 --> 1:08:54.479 separated from him due to the state court system. I 1:08:54.520 --> 1:08:56.880 know I'm nowhere near ready entering into that type of 1:08:56.920 --> 1:08:58.880 situation in a serious way. My question is would it 1:08:58.920 --> 1:09:00.880 be bad to hang out with him usually or should 1:09:01.040 --> 1:09:03.160 just shut it down right now? And is it bad 1:09:03.240 --> 1:09:06.160 for me to have this be a deal breaker? It's 1:09:06.200 --> 1:09:10.160 not bad? Well, wait, what's the state court system? That's good? 1:09:10.640 --> 1:09:14.040 A whole bunch of information there that's missing. Yeah, right exactly, 1:09:14.040 --> 1:09:16.200 So that would be my red flag. Why because maybe 1:09:16.200 --> 1:09:20.040 he did something to deserve to be separated from his kid. Obviously, Yeah, 1:09:20.080 --> 1:09:22.960 maybe that would be the red flag. The fact that 1:09:22.960 --> 1:09:24.599 he has a kid not a deal breaker. I think 1:09:24.640 --> 1:09:28.360 it's important for someone that has a child to make 1:09:28.360 --> 1:09:30.320 sure that they get to know the person before they 1:09:30.320 --> 1:09:32.360 introduce them to their to their kid. And a kid 1:09:32.439 --> 1:09:35.599 should never be a deal breaker. Also depends what I mean, 1:09:36.040 --> 1:09:38.680 hold on, It also depends at what stage you are 1:09:38.680 --> 1:09:42.360 in your life. You're older, like in my like now 1:09:42.400 --> 1:09:45.120 in my thirties. My pool of men are very different 1:09:45.160 --> 1:09:47.640 compared to when I was in my younger twenties and 1:09:47.680 --> 1:09:49.920 in my younger twenties, I may not have thought that 1:09:49.920 --> 1:09:52.960 that's what I wanted um a type of relationship to be. 1:09:53.320 --> 1:09:57.760 But the only red flag is really why state court system? Yeah, 1:09:57.800 --> 1:09:59.800 what did he do that the state required? He can't 1:09:59.800 --> 1:10:03.320 be years son? Right, If you get involved with somebody 1:10:03.360 --> 1:10:05.000 the kid, that's your prerogative. I don't that makes you're 1:10:05.000 --> 1:10:07.200 a bad person by any means at all. We don't 1:10:07.200 --> 1:10:09.080 know your nerve, but it's fine. But also I wouldn't 1:10:09.080 --> 1:10:11.240 hang out with him casually. I think I just if 1:10:11.240 --> 1:10:13.120 you want to day to single, that go day to single. 1:10:13.160 --> 1:10:14.640 That if you don't, don't, But I wouldn't hang out 1:10:14.640 --> 1:10:16.360 with him casually kind of see where it goes. You 1:10:16.360 --> 1:10:18.360 think it's leading him on too much. I think it's 1:10:18.680 --> 1:10:22.360 it's preparing everybody for heartbreak. I think all bad. But 1:10:22.400 --> 1:10:24.880 if the chemistry is there, then you should hang out 1:10:24.920 --> 1:10:28.360 with him, not casually and as a relationship. It sounds 1:10:28.400 --> 1:10:30.000 like she's finding a reason to hang out with him. 1:10:30.000 --> 1:10:32.960 Clearly she's drawn to him. But then you got to 1:10:32.960 --> 1:10:36.160 accept the kid. I mean, I've dated girls with kids 1:10:36.160 --> 1:10:38.400 in the past full well knowing that I'm not ready 1:10:38.439 --> 1:10:40.760 to be a father anytime soon. There's less pressure knowing 1:10:40.800 --> 1:10:42.439 that it's not going to necessarily be your own kid, 1:10:42.479 --> 1:10:45.439 but you could be like a supplementary figure. Did you 1:10:45.479 --> 1:10:47.760 break their hearts? No? I don't think so. I mean, 1:10:47.760 --> 1:10:50.760 I don't know. It's all I asked them afterwards, Hey, hey, 1:10:50.800 --> 1:10:54.040 are you heartbroken? Okay? Cool? If you break someone's heart, 1:10:54.080 --> 1:10:57.360 like it never got to the point of that, I 1:10:57.400 --> 1:10:59.200 didn't didn't progress that far. It was, I mean, it 1:10:59.240 --> 1:11:01.040 was just casual. Did it get to the point where 1:11:01.080 --> 1:11:03.200 you met the kid and hung out with the kid? No? 1:11:03.720 --> 1:11:06.160 So I guess that is obviously a big step too, right, 1:11:06.200 --> 1:11:07.519 because then you can break the kids heard too? What 1:11:07.560 --> 1:11:09.719 you don't want to do that? Yeah? Of course. God, 1:11:10.120 --> 1:11:11.360 I mean I'm a kid at the end of the day. 1:11:11.360 --> 1:11:19.479 So living in a vans all right? Is that it? 1:11:19.840 --> 1:11:21.880 We've done with emails today. That's all we got for you, 1:11:21.920 --> 1:11:24.200 all right, perfect. We'll always please send your emails in 1:11:24.200 --> 1:11:25.639 that's our favorite part of the show. And a big 1:11:25.680 --> 1:11:28.160 thank you to twenty three and Me by your Health 1:11:28.200 --> 1:11:31.120 and Ancestry Service Kit today at twenty three and me 1:11:31.320 --> 1:11:35.240 dot com slash Dean big thank you to open fit. 1:11:35.320 --> 1:11:37.759 You can get a special extended thirty day free trial 1:11:37.800 --> 1:11:40.200 membership to open Fit, where you can lose up to 1:11:40.240 --> 1:11:43.240 fifteen pounds and only thirty days. When you text Dean 1:11:43.560 --> 1:11:46.240 D E A N to thirty thirty thirty Dean, how's 1:11:46.240 --> 1:11:48.080 it feel to have all these codes be your name? 1:11:48.600 --> 1:11:50.479 I love it. It's a power It's a real power trip, 1:11:50.560 --> 1:11:53.240 honestly as it well showed. Big thank you to the 1:11:53.240 --> 1:11:55.040 Bubbies for coming in. You can check out their new 1:11:54.920 --> 1:11:58.240 television show on j L TV at eight pm. Bubbies, 1:11:58.320 --> 1:12:00.759 No Best and I Suck a Day to get iHeart 1:12:00.800 --> 1:12:03.000 Media dot com. Yes, that is the email just where 1:12:03.000 --> 1:12:04.880 you can keep sending those emails to thank you to 1:12:05.000 --> 1:12:06.880 Blake Courtsman. We're excited to see him back on The 1:12:06.880 --> 1:12:09.599 Bachelor tonight and of course in Paradise this summer, Mark 1:12:09.640 --> 1:12:12.400 East and Amy. You guys are wonderful. Vanessa, You're beautiful 1:12:12.439 --> 1:12:15.680 as always. Dean, thanks for having me on as a 1:12:15.720 --> 1:12:17.840 guest today. Guys, I really appreciate it. Getting best stop 1:12:17.880 --> 1:12:22.240 that this is your podcast so hopefully so why don't 1:12:22.280 --> 1:12:24.840 you ended, Dean um? Anyways, this is another episode of 1:12:24.880 --> 1:12:26.760 help I Suck at Dating. Thanks for tuning in. Be 1:12:26.840 --> 1:12:28.880 sure to tune in next week because maybe I'll suck 1:12:28.920 --> 1:12:31.799 a little bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating 1:12:31.840 --> 1:12:34.640 with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or 1:12:34.680 --> 1:12:40.559 wherever you listen to podcast. All Right, cool,