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Speaker 1: Scottie, it's time for another minisode.

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Speaker 2: I am excited. Bananas still worlds.

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Speaker 1: Would you believe it's your mysillion pieces? Would you? Bananas

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Speaker 1: ba ba Bana's baby Bananas. Guys, Welcome to the the

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Speaker 1: dumbest little podcast about the silliest news in the world.

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Speaker 1: This is Bananas. I'm kerb Brown Older.

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Speaker 3: I'm Scottie Landis. We're so glad to have you back

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Speaker 3: and listening to our little pod. Uh, Kurt, how's your week?

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Speaker 3: You're doing okay, bud.

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Speaker 1: Uh Let's see. I'm fine. You know how, it is

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Speaker 1: just just fucking groundhog day with two very small children.

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Speaker 1: So I am this is my favorite part of the day.

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Speaker 2: And this is a little oasis for you.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, god, one, I'm drinking water.

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Speaker 2: Oh water. I thought you were going cocktail.

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Speaker 1: Oh if I see, I would love to start drinking

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Speaker 1: at one thirty.

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Speaker 2: I am, by the way.

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Speaker 1: I know, because you can and it's beautiful. I can't

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Speaker 1: because it's like at seven o'clock to put everybody to

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Speaker 1: bed is so exhausting it breaks me. And if I'm

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Speaker 1: drunk by seven, I'm fucked. I can't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't be negligent. And also when you start

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Speaker 3: day drinking this early. I mean, it's it's the great choar.

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Speaker 3: I'm on airport hours, I'm doing whatever I want. The

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Speaker 3: key to to day drinking is you either have one

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Speaker 3: or you just have to keep going because then you'll

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Speaker 3: fall asleep and take one of those weird two hour

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Speaker 3: naps where you wake up and you think it's the

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Speaker 3: next day and then you're super tired and then you

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Speaker 3: stay up all night.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not into that. But we got some great stories.

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Speaker 3: But animals keep sending us dm us email us The

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Speaker 3: Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or dms at The

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Speaker 3: Bananas Podcast on Instagram, which you probably already know, but

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Speaker 3: you've been.

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Speaker 2: Sending great ones. Keep them coming.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna do as many Minnesotes as we can until

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Speaker 3: we spin out of orbit and there's no longer a planet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, you know I'm always saying this, but we're

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Speaker 1: just you know, we're trying to make this thing work.

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Speaker 1: And so tell people about the podcast. If you enjoy it,

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Speaker 1: and you know, go buy some merch. We got a

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Speaker 1: bunch of merch up at podspodswag dot com.

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Speaker 3: And our theme song is now available. You can buy Khan.

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Speaker 3: It's on bandcamp and we will have the link on

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Speaker 3: our Instagram profile. But please download the song that k

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Speaker 3: Kahan made for us because I know a lot of

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Speaker 3: you love it. A lot of you been messaging about it.

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Speaker 3: We love it, honestly. It's the song of Summer twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so get into it now. We got some stories

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Speaker 1: are minisodes, of course, are your stories, listeners, stories, ban

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Speaker 1: animals stories. This first one up is from a petit tattooist.

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Speaker 1: I do not know what city petit tattooist is in,

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Speaker 1: but she writes, Hey, guys, love the podcast. Just finishing

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Speaker 1: up this episode. One of you asked how long people

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Speaker 1: take to decide what tattoo they want. I'm a tattoo

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Speaker 1: artist in a tourist town.

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Speaker 2: In town, what do you think?

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Speaker 3: I think it's a Bimini island.

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Speaker 1: You think I think it's like for some reason, I

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Speaker 1: think it's like Vancouver Island. I don't know. Cool like

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Speaker 1: we got, we got a strong Canadian uh listening audience.

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Speaker 1: I love that love Canadians, but I could be wrong. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So unfortunately, you guys are right. A lot of times,

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Speaker 1: groups of people who want tattoos, there's at least one

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Speaker 1: in the group that is like, well, I might want

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Speaker 1: this one or that one. Two minutes later, okay, I

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Speaker 1: want a completely different one. Now, face plant emoji people

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Speaker 1: are face palm emoja people are definitely Banana's craziest tattoo

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Speaker 1: I've done was an acorn on a lady's hohoh okay,

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Speaker 1: long story short. I had an opening and she called

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Speaker 1: asking for an acorn on her leg and her husband

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Speaker 1: wanted to thimble behind his ear. Okay, okay, I was

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Speaker 1: still in my apprenticeship, so I couldn't turn it down.

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Speaker 1: They come in. He keeps calling her his girlfriend and

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Speaker 1: she calls him her husband, so that was weird to

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Speaker 1: begin with. She decides to go first. I asked her

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Speaker 1: to show me where on her legs she wants her tattoo.

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Speaker 1: This fifty plus year old lady then starts taking your

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Speaker 1: pants off and points to her vagina. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck?

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Speaker 2: Loll.

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Speaker 1: She then made me shave the airy, even though I

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Speaker 1: told her to go into the bathroom and do it herself.

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Speaker 2: Oh. Super weird.

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Speaker 1: We made jokes after they left that they do kinky

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Speaker 1: squirrel play ha ha. I ended up seeing her at

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Speaker 1: the grocery store a week later and just booked it

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Speaker 1: down the nearest aisle. Can't wait for your next episode,

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Speaker 1: I wrote back to petit tattoous, like this is totally

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Speaker 1: going in minnesot Where exactly on her vagina was it?

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Speaker 1: Where did the gut? Did the dude get the thimble?

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Speaker 1: She said she got it on her hood. It was

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Speaker 1: harrier than a seventies Go Go dancer. Yes, he got

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Speaker 1: the thimble. They said. The thimble and acorn were references

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Speaker 1: from Peter Pan, But I don't know what the fuck

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Speaker 1: they were talking about.

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Speaker 2: Oh right, yes, which is it? Really?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: I remember that.

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Speaker 3: I don't remember exactly what it is, but I remember

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Speaker 3: it's like a little it's like the forget me not. Yes,

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Speaker 3: that's okay. But also Peter Pan didn't Yeah, continue.

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Speaker 1: She said, I wish I had a crazier story. Don't worry,

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Speaker 1: this is a crazy story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I asked one of my co workers what's the craziest

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Speaker 1: clients he had, and he said a guy came in

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Speaker 1: to get Bert and Ernie pegging on his ass cheek.

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Speaker 1: He said it with such a streatface and then looked down,

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Speaker 1: really sad it was to give it him PTSD. I

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Speaker 1: don't think he took a picture of that one. So

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Speaker 1: that is the story from Petit tattooist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we are one so insane.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like I think tattoo artists because you really

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Speaker 1: imagining like they are. They are doing such an intimate

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Speaker 1: act that is permanent on a human being's body, that

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Speaker 1: is such a strange relationship. Is a stranger who is

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Speaker 1: now going to get very intimate with you for quite

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Speaker 1: a long period of time, Like if it's a big tattoo,

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Speaker 1: it's hours and hours and hours. You have to come

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Speaker 1: back over and over again.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sure people are chatty.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure certain customers are, like they just want to

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Speaker 3: talk your ear off the whole time when you're just

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Speaker 3: kind of drawing and doing your work.

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Speaker 2: You know what I like.

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Speaker 3: I like when people get corrected, like when Johnny Depp

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Speaker 3: got Winona Forever to why know Forever. But my friend

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Speaker 3: Petza Zach, who I think is a ban animal, I

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Speaker 3: think he listens to the pod. He has some of

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Speaker 3: the greatest, funniest tattoos all over. A lot of them

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Speaker 3: seem hand drawn, not and I don't mean hand drawn

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Speaker 3: by a professional tattoo artist. I mean like like you

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Speaker 3: handed a ten year old pencil and said draw with

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Speaker 3: your opposite hand, and he had one that was a

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Speaker 3: face of Papa John. It said Papa John on next

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Speaker 3: to it, and you know, of course, but then Papa

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Speaker 3: John turned out to be a big ol' racist and Zack's.

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Speaker 2: A great dude.

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Speaker 3: So he drew or had a tattoo or draw a

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Speaker 3: little roach body on it and then you crossed out

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Speaker 3: John announce it's Papa Roach.

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Speaker 2: And that's the only way to approach a little oh man, that's.

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Speaker 1: I only I have two. I have two tattoos. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if you do consider them tattoos. I

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Speaker 1: know you didn't even know.

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Speaker 2: Did you.

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Speaker 1: They are both they are both hand done in Baltimore

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Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six.

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Speaker 2: Uh oh, so they're pretty faded out maybe or they they're.

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Speaker 1: Pretty faded out. The one I have one right on

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Speaker 1: my wrist that's simply three dots that was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be for like I think me Chris Hauslet and Damien

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Speaker 1: Damien Henderson, who are buddies I grew up with, And

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Speaker 1: it's like the where the three or I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it was. Yeah, And then I'm a friend yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're still friends. We spoke with them last night and

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Speaker 1: then on my leg I have so I started a

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Speaker 1: an organization I guess you would call it in Baltimore

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Speaker 1: in the mid nineties because we went to go see

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Speaker 1: this band Unwound, who I love still love, and we

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Speaker 1: saw them in DC at the Black Cat and everyone

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Speaker 1: was just and this is in the nineties, everyone was

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Speaker 1: just like standing with their arms crossed, not dancing. And

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Speaker 1: I love Unwound so much that I was just like go,

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Speaker 1: I was going, you know, I was like dancing and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I was having fun and people were like giving me

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Speaker 1: Like some guy like turn around and grabbed me and

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Speaker 1: he's like, hey man, you need to calm down. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna calm down. This is

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Speaker 1: fucking rock and roll, you know, oh said I was eight,

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Speaker 1: nineteen years old.

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Speaker 2: I yelled that all the time. I yelled at the

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Speaker 2: Whole Foods right before quarantine.

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Speaker 1: Happened, and so inspired by my hatred for DC. And

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Speaker 1: really I blame I blame Fugazi. I blame Ian Mackay,

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Speaker 1: who just like like who just just like he was

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Speaker 1: just like no one can slam dance. And I understand

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Speaker 1: why He said that because people were getting like beat

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Speaker 1: up at shows, especially women wouldn't be able to like

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Speaker 1: go towards the front of the stage. Yeah, that's why

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Speaker 1: I always appreciate Kathleen Hannah who was like ladies to

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Speaker 1: the front. But I do remember seeing sorry I'm talking

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Speaker 1: so much, I do remember seeing Fugazi in like the

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Speaker 1: early two thousands where he kind of where Ian Mackay

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Speaker 1: kind of like spoke about the fact that he was

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Speaker 1: sad now that he had railed against slam dancing for

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Speaker 1: so long. Now at his shows he just watches a

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Speaker 1: bunch of people just cross their arms and watch and

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Speaker 1: not dance. He's like, I want you guys to still dance.

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Speaker 1: And it's just like this is a very difficult line

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Speaker 1: to weave, like you wants people to dance in a

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Speaker 1: specific way that you like. Anyway, I'm getting too far into.

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Speaker 3: The passion. No wonder you got a tattoo. This is

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Speaker 3: very passionate.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, we started an organization called f u DC

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Speaker 1: and we just said it was like that it stood

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Speaker 1: for a bunch of different things like fry up de

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Speaker 1: mcatfish and and also fight Fight United District Clones and

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Speaker 1: we would have punk shows in our basement and we

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Speaker 1: made t shirts. And it was mainly a reason to

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Speaker 1: have stickers. Do you know what I mean? Like when

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Speaker 1: you're eighteen nineteen you start something, it's mainly a reason

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Speaker 1: to have stickers and for us all to get tattoos.

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Speaker 1: So I have f U D C tattooed, you know,

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Speaker 1: just with India ink and a needle, just like dot

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Speaker 1: dot dot dot dot dot dot down. That is the

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Speaker 1: most painful place to get it. It's like rare above

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Speaker 1: the bone on the inside of my left leg. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I was so close to the bone that it just

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Speaker 1: hurts so bad. Yeah, that is a story of my

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Speaker 1: only real tattoo.

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Speaker 3: I guess you're one of my few friends that's taller

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Speaker 3: than me. So I guess I've never really looked down

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Speaker 3: and checked out like your knees to your feet before.

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Speaker 3: I guess I've never really given them a good once over.

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Speaker 1: It's very faint. You got another story.

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Speaker 3: I do. I have a great story. This is from

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Speaker 3: Sarah Colvin on Instagram. She starts the way all great

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Speaker 3: direct messages should start. Hello, my name is Sarah. Now

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Speaker 3: I know who I'm dealing with.

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Speaker 2: She rules.

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Speaker 3: I thought I would send one of my personal favorite

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Speaker 3: banana stories from a decade of living in San Francisco. Now,

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Speaker 3: having lived in San Francisco for ten years, I've seen

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Speaker 3: some pretty wild stuff. I saw a lone dildo rolling

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Speaker 3: down a hill after me as I'm walking down the street.

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Speaker 2: I mean, fantastic.

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Speaker 1: That's like that could be like a short horror film.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I know, where does it start? Where is it

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Speaker 3: an or a kid's book? You know things are changing? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I saw man shitting on the McDonald's, not in the McDonald's,

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Speaker 3: on the McDonald's. The list goes on and on. I mean,

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Speaker 3: and just a sidebar it. San Francisco is one of

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Speaker 3: the coolest cities and so beautiful. But yeah, if you

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Speaker 3: want to see somebody go to the bathroom outside, boy,

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Speaker 3: what a town for you. It's so disappointing and true.

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Speaker 3: But this story is by far and away my favorite,

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Speaker 3: so beautiful that I wasn't sure if it was real

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Speaker 3: or performance art.

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Speaker 2: So here we go.

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Speaker 3: I was taking the bus home one day after spending

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Speaker 3: an afternoon downtown. The bus pulls up to stop and

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Speaker 3: a man sprints through the open doors, fully clothed but

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Speaker 3: holding a pair of pants. He's slightly sweaty and out

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Speaker 3: of breath. Now this alone was barely enough to get

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Speaker 3: me to look up for my phone. However, maybe forty

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Speaker 3: five seconds later, the plot thickens. As the bus is

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Speaker 3: about to pull away. Another man's prints up to the bus,

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Speaker 3: shoves his arm in the gap of the closing bus doors,

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Speaker 3: and prize the doors open. He jumps onto the bus,

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Speaker 3: and you guessed it. He wasn't wearing any pants. Gentlemen,

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Speaker 3: you had my curiosity, but now you have my full attention.

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Speaker 3: He spots the man who I am now coming to

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Speaker 3: understand as the man who stole his pants and yells, quote,

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Speaker 3: come on, man, first you take my girl, then you

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Speaker 3: take my dignity, Now my pants end quote. The two

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Speaker 3: men engage in a brief struggle for the pants before

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Speaker 3: the bus driver kicks them both off, which is so cool.

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Speaker 3: They were screaming us at each other as we drove away,

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Speaker 3: And to this day I wonder if that poor man

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Speaker 3: ever got his pants back.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for the laughs, Thanks for.

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Speaker 1: The pot, Sarah, Oh that's so great.

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Speaker 2: The wonder of life.

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Speaker 1: I wonder how did that man steal his dignity prior

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Speaker 1: to stealing his pants? Because it went in that order, girlfriend, dignity,

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Speaker 1: and then pants. That's that's the tough part. You would

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Speaker 1: assume the pants are the dignity, but no, something else

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Speaker 1: that happened.

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00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:10,520
Speaker 3: He walked in on his girlfriend or wife or partner

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Speaker 3: getting having sex. The man doing it gets up, gives

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Speaker 3: him a wet welly, grabs his pants and his clothes,

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00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 3: runs out, dives off the balcony. Also, there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of hills in San Francisco, so no shit, these guys

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00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,920
Speaker 3: were out of breath. But I would be the happiest

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00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 3: guy in the world if I just saw a man

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Speaker 3: with no pants running by with intention, with a purpose,

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00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,520
Speaker 3: like that guy is going somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 2: I hope he finds it.

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Speaker 1: I agree, because usually if you see a man with

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Speaker 1: no pants, their lollygagon.

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00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,680
Speaker 2: Yeah they're out there, lollygagon.

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00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 1: They are, They're taking their time. They know they enjoy

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Speaker 1: the fact that they don't have pants on. But I

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Speaker 1: like that, like a that is a bad dream, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a decoy too, Like he took those pants.

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00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:02,160
Speaker 3: The pants stealer took those pants thinking it would delay

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Speaker 3: the guy long enough to put pants on. But that

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00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,680
Speaker 3: guy was, like, you already you took my dignity? How

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Speaker 3: dare you?

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Speaker 2: I'm coming full speed ahead.

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Speaker 1: Want I want? I just wish I could hear the

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Speaker 1: conversation once both of them got kicked off, because now

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00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,120
Speaker 1: the bus pulls away, they're just on the street together.

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00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, are they tuggle warring? Those pants? Do they each

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00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 3: have a leg? And then it rips down the middle

303
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,160
Speaker 3: and then you just see a guy with one pant

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00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 3: legs crying.

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00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 2: His way back all his belongings like.

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00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,400
Speaker 3: A potted plan an old record player out on the

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Speaker 3: street of his apartment.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, it's so funny. That's a great story, Sarah.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for sending in a banana story that was

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Speaker 3: surprisingly PG. Really, I mean yeah, that's an all ages story.

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Speaker 1: I think that is also San Francisco, if You're the

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Speaker 1: last Black man in San Francisco. An excellent film I

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00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 1: recently want. Oh yeah, I would highly recommend you go

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00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 1: check it out. It is delicious and beautiful and just

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Speaker 1: fun and it's unexpected.

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Speaker 3: When I lived in Brooklyn, a guy, a guy broke

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Speaker 3: into my apartment while I was home, and my bedroom

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00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 3: door opens and there's just a cat burglar standing there

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Speaker 3: and he was backlit. So I didn't get a good

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Speaker 3: look at him, and I was I jumped up, grabbed

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Speaker 3: a Louisville slugger, and I was so pumped full of

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Speaker 3: adrenaline that I run out of my bedroom. I hear

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Speaker 3: him run towards the door. Hear my front door close,

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Speaker 3: and I wanted to yell, like get the fuck out

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Speaker 3: of here or something like that, but I saw red,

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Speaker 3: which I didn't know is like a real thing. But

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00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 3: I was so in fight or flight, and I was

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Speaker 3: in full fight that I was like, in my head,

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00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 3: it was like hit anybody, Hit anybody, hit anybody, And

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00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 3: so I wanted to yell get the fuck out of

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Speaker 3: here or something kind of tough, but the adrenaline just

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00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 3: overtook me and I yelled fucking go. I yelled fucking go,

333
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 3: which is scarier because that's just like what a true

334
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 3: crazy person yells, or like an avalanche is coming and

335
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 3: you're trying to protect your family. So then about eight

336
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 3: years later, but the one thing I forgot to do

337
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 3: is when I'm chasing this guy down the stairs out

338
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 3: the building five flights, he gets away. He ultimately got

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Speaker 3: caught because he robbed other places later in the day,

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00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 3: which is you know, a very smart person. Years later,

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00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 3: I didn't grab my phone in Brooklyn to take a

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Speaker 3: picture or record anything or like document it all. So

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00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,800
Speaker 3: then I'm living in la and I hear my neighbor's

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Speaker 3: dogs going.

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Speaker 2: Ballistic, and I like, sit up. This is about four am.

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00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 3: And I get out of bed and I look out

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00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 3: my kitchen window and I see a guy run by

348
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 3: so and a guy that doesn't live in our neighborhood.

349
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 3: And so I clock it like way better because I

350
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Speaker 3: had no description of the gentleman who broke into my room.

351
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Speaker 3: It just went from zero to full on panic attack,

352
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,360
Speaker 3: violent panic attack in one second. So I'm like this hat,

353
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Speaker 3: these shoes, these bootsies, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Got it.

355
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Speaker 3: So I run into my bedroom. I'm only wearing underwear.

356
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Speaker 3: I grab my phone, I grab the same bat, and

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00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 3: I run out to the top of the stairs. And

358
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Speaker 3: then I look over the stairs that are kind of

359
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 3: next to mine, about ten feet away, and my neighbor

360
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 3: has also run out in his underwear. So there's two

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00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 3: grown men in there underwear in the middle of the night.

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00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 3: He doesn't know what happened. He just knows dogs. He

363
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,919
Speaker 3: didn't see the guy, so he's like, what was it

364
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 3: a coyote?

365
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 2: What was it?

366
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 3: I go, no, it was a dude. Somebody was breaking

367
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Speaker 3: in your house. And I look down and he's holding

368
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Speaker 3: a hatchet, and I'm like, were you going to fight

369
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 3: a coyote with a hatchet? Like it was the craziest weapon.

370
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 3: So anyways, I grab I have my phone in my hand.

371
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, he had a wife and a kid, and

372
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 3: I was like, you watch away and a kid. I

373
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 3: want to go get the guy on tape. So I

374
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Speaker 3: get in my car and I speed up the street.

375
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Speaker 3: And I live kind of at the bottom of a hill,

376
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Speaker 3: so I run that hill sometimes and it's not an

377
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Speaker 3: easy getaway.

378
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 2: This guy made it not.

379
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,479
Speaker 1: It's all uphill. It's real twisty turney.

380
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Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy's like the pants guy.

381
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Speaker 3: It's like, pick a better city, like Rob somebody in

382
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 3: a nice flat rob somebody in Omaha. You can run

383
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 3: for twenty six miles. So I get in my car

384
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,679
Speaker 3: and I speed up the top of the street and

385
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 3: there are two gay gentlemen and they're holding hands and

386
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 3: they're walking in the moonlight, and they're in their fifties

387
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 3: or older there, but they're I rolled down my window.

388
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,880
Speaker 3: I go Hey, guys, did you see somebody run by?

389
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 3: And this one guy goes, why no, but we found

390
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 3: a tipped over four loco in the middle of the street.

391
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 3: So I go, okay, it's four ay, go I have it.

392
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 2: I know they're having it. Oh what that is? Love?

393
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 3: By the way, that was like the greatest romantic moment.

394
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,160
Speaker 3: So I knew that you didn't go to the left,

395
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 3: so I went straight at the only other option. So

396
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 3: then I see the guy and I hold up my

397
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 3: phone in a click video and I'm driving at a

398
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 3: slow enough pace. Why it seems like I'm still driving

399
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 3: at night. It doesn't seem like I'm like tracking or

400
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 3: casing this guy. And my neighbor calls me. So my

401
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 3: phone lights up in my hand. The guy looks. My

402
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: face gets lit up by my phone. So I just

403
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 3: gun it because I'm like, oh god, now I'm like

404
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,199
Speaker 3: a peeping tom.

405
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 2: And my neighbor was like, I got in my car too.

406
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: He's walking down the street. I'm at the end of

407
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 3: the street. Go back to the house. I already call

408
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 3: the cops. The cops are on the way, so I

409
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 3: hurry back to the house. Now my adrenaline's like down,

410
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 3: but I was like, way more prepared documented. The guy

411
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 3: got the full description, and then he calls me back again.

412
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, are you okay? He goes, You're never gonna

413
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 3: believe this. The guy is knocking on my window and asking.

414
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 2: Me for a ride.

415
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,160
Speaker 3: So the guy breaks into my neighbor's house, gets scared

416
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 3: away by his two very large dogs, runs away. I

417
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 3: videotape him. I get exposed, my face gets lit. I

418
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 3: peel away, and then down fur the street we're talking

419
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 3: like two miles from my house. At this point, the

420
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 3: same guy walks up to the same neighbor, knocks on

421
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 3: his driver's window, is like, hey, can I get a ride?

422
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,360
Speaker 3: I need a ride? And he's like what should I do?

423
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, just stall hum till the cops get there.

424
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 3: And then the guy's like, oh what uber man and

425
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 3: walks down the middle of the road and just walk away.

426
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 3: And by the time the police arrived, he was already gone.

427
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 3: But that all happened in like six minutes. Now, a

428
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: normal person would be wired all night. I think I

429
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 3: fell asleep within fifteen minutes. He was like, yeah, he's gone.

430
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 3: I'm not going to press charges. Nothing's missing, And I

431
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 3: just went back to the sleep.

432
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: You know, I am a person who sleeps with an

433
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: axe next to the bed. Yeah, I got it these days,

434
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,919
Speaker 1: Yeah I do. And the thing is, and it's one

435
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: of the reasons that I'll never like the idea that

436
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 1: of you saying like you just saw a red It's

437
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 1: the reason that I will never buy a gun. Yes,

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00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: even if I if I had it, like, because right

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00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,680
Speaker 1: now I have an axe, and even the axe feels

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00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 1: like what the fuck am I doing? Like, Yeah, I

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00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: don't know how to fight a man with an axe normally,

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00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 1: but in my mind, when I'm asleep, woken up out

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00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 1: of a deep sleep by someone breaking in, I don't

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00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: have my glasses, it's dark out, I'm suddenly going to

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00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: become an expert at hand. I know it's like it's crazy,

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00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 1: but also it does make me feel slightly better to

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00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: have it. I've now put it. It's not necessarily it's

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00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 1: not next to my bed anymore because I have small children,

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00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 1: so it's like up above where they can't reach.

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00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 2: Yes, you don't want to load it acts. You don't

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00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 2: want to load it acts where your kids can get it.

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00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 3: No, you want to keep it stuck in a high

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00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 3: stump somewhere on your top shelf.

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00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: Real, give it a real good swing in there.

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Speaker 1: Well, we did it again, Scottie, we did it again.

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00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 3: Keep sending those picks of unexpected bananas hashtag unexpected bananas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you guys for listening so much. We really

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00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: do appreciate you been animals and.

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00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 3: We have great guests coming up, so keep listening, Animals, Animals.

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00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production.

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00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine.

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00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 1: Theme song by Kana Madi, and all of.

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00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 2: Our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

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00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: So please follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

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00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: where we post so many more stories and make it.

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00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 3: Here and you can share with us your strange news

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00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 3: story by d ming us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast.

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00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

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00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: Apple podcast Stitch or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 3: Bananas Bananasta