Speaker 1: Episode one is episode nine Frugal Self Care. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money,
Speaker 1: embrace simplicity, rights, and liberate your life. Here your host
Speaker 1: Jen and Jill Oh. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast.
Speaker 1: My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today
Speaker 1: we are preparing for the future of Frugal Summit by
Speaker 1: playing a rerun of one of our most popular episodes
Speaker 1: because we're taking some self care and preparing, so we're
Speaker 1: playing you Are Self Care episode. I thought it was appropriate.
Speaker 1: I don't know that we're necessarily self caring as much
Speaker 1: as we well, yeah, we're being kind to ourselves and
Speaker 1: not putting out new content. It's not because we're on vacation.
Speaker 1: It's because we're we're working, yes, and we're setting working
Speaker 1: too hard. Yeah. That's a big thing in deciding whether
Speaker 1: you need self care is do you have boundaries? And
Speaker 1: if you do, then you can take some time to
Speaker 1: get some good, fulfilling self care, not just like a
Speaker 1: bubble bath. Sometimes bubble baths are like stressful, but that's
Speaker 1: just that's just me and bath. Anyways. Uh, let's give
Speaker 1: a shout out to our sponsors on this episode. So
Speaker 1: you know it. You know this sponsor coming at you
Speaker 1: the Future of Frugal Summit. Over four days, we're bringing
Speaker 1: together twenty experts speakers for this free virtual event designed
Speaker 1: to help you make changes that promote choosing frugality enthusiastically,
Speaker 1: not just as a means to an end, not just
Speaker 1: because you have too, but because you want to. Frugality
Speaker 1: is a choice, and when it becomes a habit, you
Speaker 1: can save money without even thinking about it. But in
Speaker 1: order to make it a habit, we wanted it to
Speaker 1: be enjoyable. So get your free ticket and virtual goodie
Speaker 1: bag at Frugal Living summit dot com. We'll see you there.
Speaker 1: We'll see you in the private Facebook group. We'll be
Speaker 1: talking all about all of the good future of frugal
Speaker 1: topics together. Yes, I can't wait. It starts Monday, July nine.
Speaker 1: I think that maybe maybe we haven't like said that enough,
Speaker 1: but July nine, it starts. It starts this Monday. If
Speaker 1: you're listening to this all the day it comes out.
Speaker 1: So yeah, this episode is also brought to you by
Speaker 1: the Weekend. No, not the musical artist, but the thing
Speaker 1: everybody's working for. So we are taking this weekend to
Speaker 1: relax and re energize, and also make sure all of
Speaker 1: our tech is working for you so that when the
Speaker 1: summit starts, you have a seamless and enjoyable experience. The
Speaker 1: weekend it is that group of days that you shouldn't work,
Speaker 1: but you can work in order to make your work
Speaker 1: during the week easier. Well summarized. Yeah, that's that's about it.
Speaker 1: So I try to find and maybe this is indicative
Speaker 1: that we should do another kind of self care episode,
Speaker 1: but no really episodes to queue up after this. Um
Speaker 1: no frugal bubble bows or frugal massage episodes, so but
Speaker 1: you will find here self care not just so that's
Speaker 1: probably why we don't have those episodes, but it is
Speaker 1: important to find frugal massages. That is something that you
Speaker 1: should do if you want them. But this is a
Speaker 1: really insightful episode. There's a reason that is one of
Speaker 1: our most downloaded episodes, and all the information is still relevant.
Speaker 1: So no disclaimers there, just get on in and enjoy.
Speaker 1: Let's get in today's show about self care and this
Speaker 1: one is going to be a great one. I want
Speaker 1: to challenge some of our views about self care, especially
Speaker 1: on a debt free journey or for busy moms or
Speaker 1: whatever the case is, because I think we need to
Speaker 1: be a little more self centered when it comes to
Speaker 1: our self care. I heard that on the three and
Speaker 1: thirty Moms podcast recently, is that we need to be
Speaker 1: more self centered, just putting ourselves in the center of
Speaker 1: our jars so that everything else can fit inside. So
Speaker 1: that's what we're gonna do today. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: it's worth So I wouldn't even want to spend it
Speaker 1: a bit more positively because that sounds that sounds negative
Speaker 1: to like we have a negative connotation about like being
Speaker 1: selfish or being self centered, or somebody will do something
Speaker 1: for themselves and then they say, oh, I know, I'm
Speaker 1: being selfish. And and I would even challenge us to say,
Speaker 1: what if we were to talk about this as far
Speaker 1: as what is needed in order to care for others well,
Speaker 1: or where can the boundary lines fall that is pleasant
Speaker 1: for you, where you feel good about giving to other people,
Speaker 1: because I think so often we do do do, do do,
Speaker 1: and then there's this bitterness that can set in that
Speaker 1: is not good for anybody. So approaching this if that's you,
Speaker 1: if you have a hard time looking at self care
Speaker 1: because it seems like it's a selfish thing or it's
Speaker 1: a self centered thing, and there's a negative connotation with that. Well,
Speaker 1: what if we were to look at it the other
Speaker 1: way of in order to care for other people well
Speaker 1: and to do it without bitterness, without frustration. Then these
Speaker 1: things are necessary to come first, come in the middle,
Speaker 1: come at the end where wherever you want to fit
Speaker 1: it in. But it's necessary to be able to accomplish
Speaker 1: the things that we want to accomplish. Yes, So our
Speaker 1: first article is from psych Central and it's on what
Speaker 1: self care is and what it isn't. And this is
Speaker 1: the first result that pops up on Google when you
Speaker 1: google self care. I would have chosen it anyway, because
Speaker 1: you get a lot of articles from Bustle and Refinery
Speaker 1: twenty nine and all these like girly websites like how
Speaker 1: does self care and stuff? But I really wanted to
Speaker 1: take time to focus on on a psychological level, what
Speaker 1: self care is so that we can identify what it
Speaker 1: is and what it isn't. So I like their definition
Speaker 1: here where they say self care is any activity that
Speaker 1: we deliberately do. There's effort involved in order to take
Speaker 1: care of our mental emotional physical health, and so it's
Speaker 1: a simple concept in theory, but it really can get
Speaker 1: tossed to the side, and we think that we have
Speaker 1: this unlimited capacity to just do everything in front of us,
Speaker 1: only to often get wiped out or end up in
Speaker 1: bitterness and frustration. Yeah, and self care is not something
Speaker 1: that you force yourself to do or something you don't
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. So I think for me, I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people equate self care with yoga, and I
Speaker 1: personally do not like yoga and so but for a
Speaker 1: while I thought, oh gosh, I have to do yoga
Speaker 1: because that's self care, but I never enjoyed doing it.
Speaker 1: And one day I was just like, this is not
Speaker 1: this is not for me. This doesn't refuel me, it
Speaker 1: doesn't light me up, it doesn't re energize me. It
Speaker 1: makes me feel awkward and like nervous about farting. So
Speaker 1: that's not self care for me. Like what self care
Speaker 1: for somebody else does not necessarily mean it's self care
Speaker 1: for you. And so you just throw off that um mindset.
Speaker 1: That's what it has to be because it's something you need.
Speaker 1: It's not selfish, but it's something that refuels you. So
Speaker 1: that you can fills you up so that you can
Speaker 1: pour out to others. Yeah, and I look at it
Speaker 1: as you know, when you're on a plane and the
Speaker 1: flight attendant says, put on your own mask before assisting
Speaker 1: others with theirs. That's how I see self care is
Speaker 1: putting on your own mask before you start assisting others
Speaker 1: with theirs. It's just practical. Yep. Yeah. I love that
Speaker 1: they have three golden rules here for self care. I
Speaker 1: love sense of three, yes, because that's simple too. There's
Speaker 1: only so much we can take in all at once.
Speaker 1: So the first golden rule of self care that this
Speaker 1: article lists is stick to the basics. Don't try and
Speaker 1: find the most complicated, not gonna work for you kind
Speaker 1: of rhythm. I would call this the low hanging fruit.
Speaker 1: What is right in front of you that is easy
Speaker 1: to grab. You're walking by a fruit tree and it's
Speaker 1: just right there and you pluck it off. We're not
Speaker 1: climbing up to the very tippy top, going across branches
Speaker 1: to find fruit. Just what's right there within your grasp
Speaker 1: that you can incorporate into a regular rhythm or routine.
Speaker 1: And we will get into some of these specifics, but
Speaker 1: we're laying the foundation first, stick to the basics. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and self care also needs to be something you actively
Speaker 1: plan rather than just happens. So it should be some
Speaker 1: low hanging fruit, but you should plan on when you're
Speaker 1: going to grab it, because if you fail to plan,
Speaker 1: you plan to fail, and you will not incorporate your
Speaker 1: self care if it is not written down in your schedule. Yes,
Speaker 1: and also the third one is to be conscious about
Speaker 1: what's happening, kind of this idea of paying attention, being
Speaker 1: present in the moment too, in order to see is
Speaker 1: something sticking or not? Is this working or not? And
Speaker 1: I will add to this. So what is RESTful to
Speaker 1: us or life giving at one point in life or
Speaker 1: at one point in the month may not be what's
Speaker 1: RESTful to you a few weeks later, a few months later,
Speaker 1: a year later. We change and shift, our needs change
Speaker 1: and shift, and our circumstances change, and so what we
Speaker 1: need at each point might look different. So this definitely
Speaker 1: isn't a prescriptive. This is what I do, and I
Speaker 1: feel this way. Certainly, Sometimes we can have rules of
Speaker 1: thumb for ourselves, but it's worth paying attention to what
Speaker 1: works what doesn't. Sometimes watching a movie is just what
Speaker 1: I needed. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I actually I need
Speaker 1: to be around really good friends and and have good conversation.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I just need to sleep. Sometimes it's the best
Speaker 1: thing we can do for ourselves rather than grasping for
Speaker 1: who knows what, just go to bed and get some
Speaker 1: actual sleep. So keeping that in mind, but paying attention
Speaker 1: to you, all right, how did that impact me? How
Speaker 1: am I feeling I'm more anxious? Or am I less anxious?
Speaker 1: If I'm more anxious than it didn't work, don't keep
Speaker 1: doing that thing that doesn't work, so be paying attention
Speaker 1: to it as you go. Yeah. I think it's a
Speaker 1: good idea every season, like every quarter, to re evaluate
Speaker 1: where you are in your life and what self care
Speaker 1: practices you want to incorporate. So right now I have
Speaker 1: an eight month old and sleep is still one of
Speaker 1: my priorities for self care. And it used to be
Speaker 1: like self care could be doing things for me, but
Speaker 1: in this season of my life it's less doing things
Speaker 1: and just taking being intentional about my basic needs. Uh,
Speaker 1: and that will not always be like that, hopefully God
Speaker 1: help me. But giving yourself twenty minutes to say, okay,
Speaker 1: what has my last quarter looked? Like, what is my
Speaker 1: next quarter going to look like? What have I been
Speaker 1: doing for self care? What do I want to keep?
Speaker 1: What do I want to add? So just doing that
Speaker 1: evaluation a few a few times a year, maybe if
Speaker 1: your life is not changing that rapidly. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think I want to highlight that piece of intentionality because
Speaker 1: these things won't just happen to us. Somebody posted on
Speaker 1: Facebook recently I saw this meme that said adulthood is
Speaker 1: basically saying, but in a few weeks, life will settle
Speaker 1: down over and over and over and over again. Meaning
Speaker 1: we're always busy. There is always something vying for our time, attention,
Speaker 1: and energy, and if we're not careful, we will give
Speaker 1: it away over and over and over and over again.
Speaker 1: So so while self care should be something that you
Speaker 1: actually enjoy, not stealing somebody else's self care. That doesn't
Speaker 1: work for you, But it will take intentionality. There's there's
Speaker 1: this biblical concept. I know we all come from different
Speaker 1: faith backgrounds, but this one I think is true across
Speaker 1: the board of it takes effort to enter into rest,
Speaker 1: This this concept that we need to labor or make
Speaker 1: effort to experience rest, which we all know that to
Speaker 1: be true. It sounds like an oxymoron of like wait,
Speaker 1: labor for rest, but it's a reality that need others,
Speaker 1: needs other attention to other people. Accomplishing things will always
Speaker 1: take over if we don't make effort to rest. It
Speaker 1: has got to be something that we intentionally set aside,
Speaker 1: otherwise it will never happen. Yes, I feel also personally
Speaker 1: attacked by that meme because I always say, I just
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be busy for the next few weeks. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna be busy for the next few weeks. And
Speaker 1: I've noticed myself saying that, And I always figure out
Speaker 1: something when I have some like a few weeks of downtime.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh my gosh, I could do this
Speaker 1: thing and like fill up this time. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: why did I do that? Yeah, exactly, exactly, And and
Speaker 1: probably that depends on your personality type too, Like I
Speaker 1: I am that for sure of all right, I got
Speaker 1: ten minutes in between this appointment and that a apointment,
Speaker 1: So what should I get done? I can, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's it takes effort for me to let that happen.
Speaker 1: I felt really convicted about this as I was doing
Speaker 1: research for this episode last night, and so I actually
Speaker 1: stopped working when I felt like my mental capacity had
Speaker 1: been expended, and uh went and just folded some laundry
Speaker 1: and I used one of those facial masks that you
Speaker 1: got me, Jill, like when Kai was born. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: still you had that for like four months. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I give it to you. I give it to you
Speaker 1: the end of the beginning of September. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had it for a while and I finally used
Speaker 1: it and it was great for you. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1: So I took I tried to take this info to heart. So,
Speaker 1: although self care means different things to different people, there's
Speaker 1: a basic checklist that can be followed by all of us.
Speaker 1: And I love the first thing on this checklist. It's
Speaker 1: create a no list with things you don't like or
Speaker 1: you no longer want to do. So examples might include
Speaker 1: not checking emails at night, not attending gatherings you don't like, like,
Speaker 1: not answering your phone during lunch or dinner. When we
Speaker 1: were in premarital counseling, um our pastor said him and
Speaker 1: his wife grade events, so they'll put an event like
Speaker 1: out there because they I mean, they get invited to
Speaker 1: so many things. So they'll put the event out there
Speaker 1: and they each have to give it a grade A
Speaker 1: to F, and then they don't go unless it's uh
Speaker 1: unanimously like an A R B, A C A C average.
Speaker 1: You can't even be a C average. It has to
Speaker 1: be a unanimously an air big yeah. Yeah, Oh what
Speaker 1: if it's a funeral or something. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: think you're ever going to get an AIRB on that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. Well, if it's important, like an important funeral,
Speaker 1: that it's sure a like how excited I am about
Speaker 1: the event, it's a how how much do I want
Speaker 1: to go? I got it. Thanks for that clarification. If
Speaker 1: you were wondering, I'm sure you were. But no is
Speaker 1: a full sentence, and I give out nose graciously. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: saying no to things. But also so this this bullet
Speaker 1: point actually carries a lot to it because it's not
Speaker 1: just saying no to things, which is a part of
Speaker 1: self care, it's also our own personal boundaries and limitations.
Speaker 1: So I love that they gave the example of not
Speaker 1: checking emails. That's a boundary. That's not a saying no
Speaker 1: to an event or a person. That is what do
Speaker 1: I want to do to be able to set these
Speaker 1: boundaries in places that are going to provide me with
Speaker 1: some rest and some self care? And so what does
Speaker 1: that look like in my life? Not keeping your phone
Speaker 1: in your room or not staying up past a certain time.
Speaker 1: These are great things for us to be able to say,
Speaker 1: I know that this impacts me negatively when I do X,
Speaker 1: Y and Z, So I'm going to put a boundary
Speaker 1: around this for myself. Yes, a few other things that
Speaker 1: should be on everybody's list. Healthy diet, enough sleep seven
Speaker 1: to eight hours r I P sleep in my life?
Speaker 1: Which pause pause on the sleep thing. There's actually studies
Speaker 1: showing that most of America is sleep deprived. Most of
Speaker 1: America is not getting the sleep that we need. Uh,
Speaker 1: shout out to you, Mama's Holy smokes. Thankfully, it's just
Speaker 1: the season, hopefully, unless you keep popping them out. Um.
Speaker 1: But this is how they torture people. Like if if
Speaker 1: you're if you're ever going to torture somebody, well don't
Speaker 1: do that. But when people are tortured, they usually deprive
Speaker 1: people of sleep. It is the most effective torture tactic.
Speaker 1: So holy smokes, let's not do this to ourselves. Yeah, amen,
Speaker 1: learn how much sleep you need and get it. Yes, exercise,
Speaker 1: So maybe that's yoga for you. For me, it's CrossFit.
Speaker 1: I'm a horrible crossfitter, but I enjoy it, so I
Speaker 1: do it. Uh, maybe it's running. I also like running.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's biking, it's going to the gym, doing whatever
Speaker 1: you do there. So just any exercise whatever that looks
Speaker 1: like to you. Following up with medical care, this was
Speaker 1: an interesting one that I did not think about. But
Speaker 1: it's not unusual to put off checkups or visit to
Speaker 1: the doctor. And we even have these well visits that
Speaker 1: are included in most of our health plans that go
Speaker 1: unused every year. So so making sure that you use
Speaker 1: those and stay on top of your health so that
Speaker 1: you can have peace of mind and don't stress about
Speaker 1: what's going on, like what that blemishes. Check out our
Speaker 1: medical episode two if that. If this is something that
Speaker 1: you want but you are concerned about your budget, we
Speaker 1: do have some tips on medical care, reduced medical how
Speaker 1: to reduce some medical costs. So check out that episode.
Speaker 1: Engage with us in our community group too. If that
Speaker 1: is a piece of the concern or a barrier to
Speaker 1: getting these things done. Yeah, we'll link to it in
Speaker 1: the show notes. And uh so, use relaxation exercises or meditation,
Speaker 1: spend time with your loved ones. Just relaxing and doing
Speaker 1: pleasurable things and things that fill you up is basically
Speaker 1: what it is saying. Awesome. Yes, our next article is
Speaker 1: from Pure Wow, not as educationally backed as Centric. He's
Speaker 1: still good free ways to practice self care. And I
Speaker 1: really liked the list and that's why it's here. Which
Speaker 1: all of what we've talked about so far has been free,
Speaker 1: other than the medical piece, which yes, it does cause
Speaker 1: something to care for our bodies, but I think it's
Speaker 1: it's dispelling this whole idea that self care is getting
Speaker 1: your hair done, getting your nails done, buying new clothes,
Speaker 1: going shopping, going out to dinner, doing this, doing that.
Speaker 1: None of what we're talking about has been that yet,
Speaker 1: so much of it is what boundaries are we setting,
Speaker 1: What are we learning about ourselves? Are we getting sleep
Speaker 1: like it? It is so much more than spending money,
Speaker 1: and I hope that that is the underlying message we
Speaker 1: can get across. If in care for yourself and be
Speaker 1: well inside yourself without a ton of money, it really
Speaker 1: does not require money for sure. Yes, Jill. What were
Speaker 1: your takeaways from this one? Yes, So the first one
Speaker 1: that stood out to me actually wasn't until number twelve,
Speaker 1: which but it resonates with me. So I'm not, yeah things,
Speaker 1: but number twelve is tidy up your house, And I
Speaker 1: think the reason I like this one so much and
Speaker 1: I've recognized this for myself. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: similar for you, Jen, but I realized that when my
Speaker 1: space is cluttered, it is often reflective of how my
Speaker 1: mental or emotional state feels of just being cluttered. And
Speaker 1: that's okay, that comes and goes at times, but when
Speaker 1: I can stop and realize, oh, that's what's happening, it
Speaker 1: can really help me to tidy up my physical space,
Speaker 1: which then can create space for me to breathe emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
Speaker 1: And it's something tangible that I can put my hands
Speaker 1: to and I can see a result to it, and
Speaker 1: then that's one less thing that's kind of on my plate.
Speaker 1: And I literally feel like a weight lifted when this happens,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I can exhale emotionally when the
Speaker 1: space around me is a bit more tidy, I feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can kind of tidy things up than mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: it's one of the reasons we love minimalism is because
Speaker 1: the fewer things you have, the easier it is to
Speaker 1: tidy up, and the more often your space will be
Speaker 1: clear and tidy, and that helps your mental space going forward.
Speaker 1: I liked quite a few on here, So the first
Speaker 1: one I liked was take a walk. I live in
Speaker 1: a city where we have sunshine over three days of
Speaker 1: the year, and I just recently started taking being intentional
Speaker 1: about taking walks, and it's become something that I really
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. I have to get out of the house
Speaker 1: on Saturdays because Travis works nights and he sleeps during
Speaker 1: the day and Kai is loud, so we'll get out
Speaker 1: Saturday morning and go walk downtown and it's just been
Speaker 1: a beautiful time of like walking by the water, um,
Speaker 1: walking through the Saturday morning market, maybe listening to a
Speaker 1: podcast or audiobook while we're walking. I'll make my coffee
Speaker 1: at home and bring it with me, so I don't
Speaker 1: spend anything to do it, and it has been given
Speaker 1: something that's been given me life on the weekends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's there's so many reasons why that's good being outdoors.
Speaker 1: It's a form of exercise that's a bit more leisurely.
Speaker 1: It's an opportunity for and to come along and there
Speaker 1: can be awesome chats that happen on a walk. Love it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? So the one right right after yours is
Speaker 1: watch a Netflix movie or show that makes you laugh.
Speaker 1: So I like this one not necessarily just the watch
Speaker 1: a movie or show, because that doesn't usually always give
Speaker 1: us the rest that we need it it seems to
Speaker 1: be like what we need. But what I do like
Speaker 1: about this is the what makes you laugh, because playing
Speaker 1: and laughter and being able to engage in something lighthearted,
Speaker 1: especially depending on what type of work you do. For me,
Speaker 1: this one is really important because I am sitting in
Speaker 1: some really heavy stuff quite often, and I think it's
Speaker 1: important for us to recognize what is the type of
Speaker 1: work or labor that I typically do, and where can
Speaker 1: I find some joy or life or laughter that I
Speaker 1: can put back into myself and if I could add
Speaker 1: to the us, I think it is important to pay
Speaker 1: attention to what we entertain ourselves with and what we
Speaker 1: do in our leisure time because we can continue to
Speaker 1: pile on unrest on top of ourselves, so I'll unpack
Speaker 1: that a little bit more. For instance, this might be
Speaker 1: an extreme example, but I'll throw it out there. I
Speaker 1: work with trauma a lot, those who have experienced trauma
Speaker 1: a lot. For myself, it can be a temptation to
Speaker 1: then go read a lot about trauma or watch movies
Speaker 1: where individuals and the characters within the movies are traumatized.
Speaker 1: And I can just kind of like soak and marinate
Speaker 1: in this topic all the time because it's what I do.
Speaker 1: And I would challenge myself and all of us to
Speaker 1: look for something that is different from what we do
Speaker 1: all the time. And so for me, entertainment has got
Speaker 1: to be lighthearted. It has got to be funny. It's
Speaker 1: got to be enjoyable. Otherwise it's not entertainment. That's like,
Speaker 1: that's more work again. And then I'm marinating in this stuff,
Speaker 1: and I'm becoming what I'm marinating in, and and so,
Speaker 1: and I do feel like that applies to anything, even
Speaker 1: if you're not working in you know, trauma work all
Speaker 1: the time. Even if you're in finance, Well, what are
Speaker 1: you doing with your leisure time? Are you constantly doing
Speaker 1: finance things? Are you then always looking at your budget.
Speaker 1: Are you only reading financial blog posts? Like that is
Speaker 1: where it could pile on the stress because it just
Speaker 1: feels like you're only doing what you usually do in
Speaker 1: your line of work. Well, would it look like to
Speaker 1: do something completely different to read a blog about gardening
Speaker 1: or to go watch a movie about bumblebees? Like I
Speaker 1: don't know, just something totally different. Read up on whale
Speaker 1: milk because you scrolled past it earlier. But let's revisit
Speaker 1: that one. It's so interesting. I feel counseled right now
Speaker 1: because that is literally all I do. Thank you you
Speaker 1: you know me, you know who. I thank you for
Speaker 1: counseling me on the air right now. I do need
Speaker 1: to have more diversity in my free time. When I
Speaker 1: come park my camper at your place, I'll come make
Speaker 1: sure that we look up videos of cow milk together,
Speaker 1: have different types of all the milksh Yeah, okay, is
Speaker 1: this life giving to you? This is not in my
Speaker 1: self care at all. So another one that is on
Speaker 1: my self careless is number eight, which is put your
Speaker 1: phone on do not disturb. So I don't necessarily do this,
Speaker 1: but my phone is on silent of the time. I
Speaker 1: do not like to interrupt my life with Ding's buzzes, vibrations,
Speaker 1: sounds like I want to be fully present wherever I am,
Speaker 1: and that means sometimes I don't see a text or
Speaker 1: a miscall for thirty minutes, an hour, whatever, but my
Speaker 1: phone is there for for me, I'm not here from
Speaker 1: my phone, so that is always on silent and that
Speaker 1: is a form of self care for me. Love it.
Speaker 1: I also loved number thirteen on here, which is create
Speaker 1: morning and nighttime routines. And you could pick or choose
Speaker 1: whether you want a morning routine or a nighttime routine.
Speaker 1: But I do think that that is important. Something that
Speaker 1: is structured to whatever degree of structure makes sense for you,
Speaker 1: something that you know, you can anticipate and sets a
Speaker 1: rhythm for you. So for me, that's coffee, coffee in
Speaker 1: the morning, and because it's such a ritual honestly, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I like coffee, but especially with how many transitions and
Speaker 1: chaos that can be in my life of travel living
Speaker 1: in different places, I at least know every morning I'm
Speaker 1: going to get coffee wherever I am, and it provides
Speaker 1: some security for me and it provides a nice rhythm
Speaker 1: routine ritual. I would encourage nighttime routines especially for people
Speaker 1: who have difficulties sleeping. This is so important. I know
Speaker 1: you've probably heard this time and time again, but here
Speaker 1: I am another voice just solidifying this that we need
Speaker 1: good sleep hygiene. If we're going to get the eight
Speaker 1: to nine hours of sleep that is really recommended, then
Speaker 1: you have got to have a good nighttime routine. And
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you've got to do like five things
Speaker 1: and it needs take an hour and a half before
Speaker 1: you fall asleep. But that does mean not putting blue
Speaker 1: light in front of your face a half hour before bed.
Speaker 1: It does mean knowing yourself. But here's some a couple
Speaker 1: of ideas, whether that's a hot cup of non caffeinated
Speaker 1: tea or cutting out caffeine past three pm, or getting
Speaker 1: a weighted blanket, or utilizing some magnesium before you go
Speaker 1: to bed, or consult with your doctor on that one.
Speaker 1: It's a nutrient whatever, But that helps me sometimes, um,
Speaker 1: especially if if it's anxiety that's kind of keeping us
Speaker 1: from being able to fall asleep. So that can be
Speaker 1: so helpful, not only not just for what's happening at
Speaker 1: night before what's happening through the night to be able
Speaker 1: to get the sleep that we need. Good word. Um,
Speaker 1: here are some of the things that are on this
Speaker 1: list that are not self care for me. So you know,
Speaker 1: you mentioned that watching a funny movie or show is
Speaker 1: good self care, but they also have a Netflix binge,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that is good maybe in a season.
Speaker 1: I did a lot of Netflix binges right after giving
Speaker 1: birth because it's literally all I could do. Um, and
Speaker 1: then got into a habit of doing more TV than usual.
Speaker 1: So we actually did no TV January this month, and
Speaker 1: it helped us. I should have chosen more carefully what
Speaker 1: I was going to do instead of that time. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I used it to just do more work, but instead
Speaker 1: of it just instead of going straight to the TV,
Speaker 1: we tried to find other things to do. So we
Speaker 1: would read or do work or listen to a podcast
Speaker 1: or something. So that is so no screen was our
Speaker 1: form of self care this month. And then also looking
Speaker 1: at animals being cute. So I have been looking at
Speaker 1: a lot of baby Yoda memes and I I have
Speaker 1: to say that I don't find it to be self care. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's funny and it's great, but it's also addictive and
Speaker 1: can get me sucked into my phone for too long
Speaker 1: and to where I just keep scrolling and scrolling, and
Speaker 1: I should probably stop scrolling, put the phone down and
Speaker 1: go to bed. Those are my those are my only
Speaker 1: qualms with the list, and they're personal because self care
Speaker 1: is personal. Sometimes looking at animals or Yoda's being cute
Speaker 1: is self care for some people, just not for me.
Speaker 1: In this season, the one that I did not resonate
Speaker 1: on here with on here is the look at positive
Speaker 1: affirmations on Pinterest. So that's fine if it works for you.
Speaker 1: I do feel like this is a bit of a myth,
Speaker 1: and this is backed by research. I think I've mentioned
Speaker 1: it on a different podcast that research has actually been
Speaker 1: done on positive affirmations like that wave that went through
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago of like look at yourself
Speaker 1: in the mirror and be like, you're so great, You're
Speaker 1: so wonderful, good jobs, thumbs up. That it didn't actually
Speaker 1: have impact on someone's psyche through the rest of the day,
Speaker 1: mostly because it falls flat, like it's flattery. It is
Speaker 1: not really based on anything or connected to anything. It's
Speaker 1: just this kind of flattery, and most people don't like flattery.
Speaker 1: You want the truth. They want something that they can
Speaker 1: hang their hat on. So there are things that we
Speaker 1: can speak to ourselves that might be a little bit
Speaker 1: more rooted and grounded in some like actual truth, something
Speaker 1: we can hang our hat on where we can point
Speaker 1: back to. No, you're not going to fail because remember
Speaker 1: that time that you thought you were going to fail
Speaker 1: in this circumstance and you did X, Y Z. Like
Speaker 1: those are effective, But just the like, hey, you're great,
Speaker 1: you're amazing, like that doesn't It doesn't. It doesn't do anything.
Speaker 1: So I'm not like, I'm not fully against affirmations. It's
Speaker 1: just that I think there has to be more meat
Speaker 1: to it. It just can't be fluffy flattery. It doesn't.
Speaker 1: It doesn't, It doesn't last, doesn't stick. Yeah, actions are
Speaker 1: definitely louder than words here are. Values are defined by
Speaker 1: the things that we do, not by the things that
Speaker 1: we say we value. So when you're making when you're
Speaker 1: making actions that are toward what you value or towards
Speaker 1: what you're going to, uh, that is what defines what
Speaker 1: you value versus just saying like I value myself or
Speaker 1: I value my time, or I value self care. Like
Speaker 1: you really have to make actions that move towards that
Speaker 1: instead of just saying it, speaking of just doing and
Speaker 1: taking action rather than just talking about it and things
Speaker 1: that I value, things that bring me life and joy.
Speaker 1: It's the bill of the week. That's right. It's time
Speaker 1: for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a
Speaker 1: baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you
Speaker 1: paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're
Speaker 1: happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's
Speaker 1: bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of
Speaker 1: the week. Hey guys, this is take nineteen for me
Speaker 1: because I keep on messing up. I just want to
Speaker 1: let you guys know my favorite bill is my dog's
Speaker 1: insurance bill because it saves me a lot of stress. Um.
Speaker 1: I worked in the vet industry for over ten years
Speaker 1: and I've seen some crazy, crazy bills anywhere between, like
Speaker 1: you know, the average five thousand dollar bill to fifty
Speaker 1: thousand dollars and true Panion actually covered that fifty dollars
Speaker 1: and the owners only had to pay five dollar dollars.
Speaker 1: So it's just in case of those huge emergencies, it's
Speaker 1: really nice to have insurance. And I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people are like, oh, I can say about that money,
Speaker 1: but you never know what could happen. And also if
Speaker 1: your dog ever gets like allergic to anything. Um, they
Speaker 1: will cover the food as well. So if your dog
Speaker 1: needs to be on a special food, they will cover
Speaker 1: that food for its entire life. So you know, it's
Speaker 1: really important to me to have it. And my dog
Speaker 1: just recently went in to see a dental specialist to
Speaker 1: get a root canal done in a huge extraction or
Speaker 1: a lumper moved in his mouth and that all got somethway.
Speaker 1: And then at the same time he was in there,
Speaker 1: he went to go see the optimologists and you know,
Speaker 1: they ended up, Um, he ended up with panis. So
Speaker 1: all his medication is now covered. So I did the math.
Speaker 1: I'm up fift dollars with true panni and it's great.
Speaker 1: I recommend it. I would do it. Dave Ramsey hates it,
Speaker 1: but you know, um, he's not always right. So have
Speaker 1: yourselves a wonderful day, take care by Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: honestly I personally agree with you, because all I ever
Speaker 1: hear about people with pets is like how expensive the
Speaker 1: pet bills are, like thousands of dollars, and so the
Speaker 1: fact that you're out on that is cheap is less
Speaker 1: than one vet bill. And usually if there's one bill,
Speaker 1: there's other ones to follow. And pets are expensive. Man,
Speaker 1: you think kids are expensive, try having a pet. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying perfect. I think you described it so well,
Speaker 1: Kate with the It gives you peace of mind, particularly
Speaker 1: when the big emergencies come up. Off I might spend
Speaker 1: and especially yeah, I mean, we care about our pets
Speaker 1: and so you know, if they still have a lot
Speaker 1: of life to live. Of course you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: pay for that surgery. You're going to do that thing,
Speaker 1: and then that's just coming out of your pocket or
Speaker 1: you're going into debt for it. So to just have
Speaker 1: that peace of mind to know that all right, I've
Speaker 1: got this covered if need be. And I love your
Speaker 1: your confidence in what you need and what makes sense
Speaker 1: for your financial journey. Regardless of what Dave Ramsey agrees
Speaker 1: with or doesn't agree with. Right now, we're not none
Speaker 1: of us are always right on everything. Yeah, So Jill's
Speaker 1: there most of the time, but even she has been wrong.
Speaker 1: Don't husband that he's going to hear this. Yeah, sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Yeah, if you want to submit your bill
Speaker 1: of the week and you want to tell us all
Speaker 1: about the bills that you enjoy that makes sense to you,
Speaker 1: even if there are other financial growers out there who
Speaker 1: might disagree with you. It's okay. We we don't mind controversy.
Speaker 1: Friends podcast dot com, slash bill, leave us a bill, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. Let's get controversial with our bills. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Depending on how controversial, we might not play him. But right, yeah,
Speaker 1: we we've reserved that. Right And now after all of that,
Speaker 1: it's time for boo boo boo. So I was super
Speaker 1: convicted after doing research on this. So I wanted us
Speaker 1: to set some self care goals. Jill and I personally
Speaker 1: like one or two things on this list that we
Speaker 1: are going to do immediately or this weekend. How we
Speaker 1: are going to care for ourselves because Jill, you just
Speaker 1: got back from like a really intense trip to Peru
Speaker 1: and you need some self care. I am just living
Speaker 1: my life and that's hard for me. And I'm here,
Speaker 1: I'm here on this earth and I need self care. Yes,
Speaker 1: So things that I am going to do in the
Speaker 1: next couple of days and this upcoming weekend, and that
Speaker 1: I want to do regularly. It so this this is
Speaker 1: just a handful play and in our outline that I
Speaker 1: have with Jen and I I have it in like
Speaker 1: all caps and its first and I talk about this
Speaker 1: in my trainings. To play is so important and you
Speaker 1: can do your own research on this. There's a fantastic
Speaker 1: book called Play It Away, lots of books about play,
Speaker 1: lots of research about play, journal articles about play and
Speaker 1: its benefits. It helps to reduce anxiety, It um increases
Speaker 1: blood flow to the brain. It bonds us with whoever
Speaker 1: we're playing with U. It helps us to sleep better.
Speaker 1: It increases relational harmony, It increases the flihood of experiencing
Speaker 1: like peace and joy inside ourselves. Like there's there's so
Speaker 1: much uh. The book Play It Away is about this
Speaker 1: guy who was a workaholic and basically burnt himself out
Speaker 1: in the work that he was doing, like high power,
Speaker 1: I believe, like CEO of a company, and how he
Speaker 1: kind of journeyed through, walked through that experience of burnout
Speaker 1: and just at his wits and mentally and emotionally, and
Speaker 1: how play, just playing is what helped him get back
Speaker 1: to a more stable point mentally, emotionally, physically anyhow. Super important,
Speaker 1: but it looks different for everybody. For me, one of
Speaker 1: the ways that I play is actually with kids. So
Speaker 1: thank goodness, my nieces and nephews are in town right now,
Speaker 1: and the second I get off from podcasting, I am
Speaker 1: going to go play with them. We're doing ninja training.
Speaker 1: We are digging through like cute little figurines. We are
Speaker 1: dressing little stuffed bunny animals and we are just playing
Speaker 1: and laughing and it is so good for my soul.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Oh my gosh. One thing that
Speaker 1: I'm going to do is call a friend, not you, Jil.
Speaker 1: This doesn't count. I I could just say this is
Speaker 1: not it is giving. But I want to call other
Speaker 1: friends that I don't talk to a lot, because I
Speaker 1: feel like one of the places where I really where
Speaker 1: I really fail in life is maintaining relationships with people
Speaker 1: who are not right in front of me. And Jill
Speaker 1: has been like the only person. Jill has been the
Speaker 1: only person that I've been able to maintain a relationship with.
Speaker 1: It doesn't live in my city that I don't see
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis, and that's because we have a
Speaker 1: side hustle together. I mean, maybe that's maybe that's what
Speaker 1: I need to do with all of my and is
Speaker 1: to start a money involved for me to maintain a relationship.
Speaker 1: There has to be money involved, ask my husband. But
Speaker 1: I want to call a friend and catch up and
Speaker 1: uh and yeah, because relationships are life giving to me
Speaker 1: and I just take them for granted. So that's that's
Speaker 1: one of my things. And speaking of life giving, actually,
Speaker 1: this weekend, I am going to go away with some friends,
Speaker 1: some life giving friends. And it's okay to have relationships
Speaker 1: that are varying degrees of life giving. That's that happens.
Speaker 1: Some people take more than they give and that's just
Speaker 1: the season that they're in, and that's okay. But we
Speaker 1: also need to make sure that we've got people who
Speaker 1: where there's more reciprocity in the relationship. It may only
Speaker 1: be one to three people, but finding those people and
Speaker 1: regularly spending time with them. So for me, you've got
Speaker 1: two really great friends and we're just going away to
Speaker 1: Philly for the night. She got an awesome deal on
Speaker 1: a hotel and we're just going to have fun with
Speaker 1: a couple of girlfriends. Yay, that sounds so good. The
Speaker 1: other thing I'm gonna do is make a gratitude list.
Speaker 1: I want to write down things that I'm thankful for.
Speaker 1: And I actually, uh spoiler when Travis listened to this
Speaker 1: started making one about him and just all the things
Speaker 1: that I'm thankful for that he does and the person
Speaker 1: that he is. And because I heard this in an
Speaker 1: audio book and how there was this husband who was
Speaker 1: unhappy in his marriage and saw somebody make a gratitude
Speaker 1: list for his wife and then he started doing it
Speaker 1: and like it just transformed their entire relationship, marriage, family,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why wait until things are bad, let's
Speaker 1: do They'll do a well things they're good, and so
Speaker 1: that's I want to do it for other areas of
Speaker 1: my life as well. It's awesome. And you know that
Speaker 1: is the simple thing, Like going back to our very
Speaker 1: first article of the Golden Rules, and the foundation of
Speaker 1: all of this self care stuff is the simplicity. And
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we think, oh, man, I'm so exhausted
Speaker 1: that what I need must be such a massive thing.
Speaker 1: I'm so exhausted. But man, when am I going to
Speaker 1: be able to take off for three weeks and go
Speaker 1: on an elaborate vacation. No, that's that's not what we
Speaker 1: often need. Those things are great, they're fantastic, they can
Speaker 1: be life giving, but I think we would be so
Speaker 1: shocked to realize how simple it can be to bring
Speaker 1: us up out of a place of feeling absolutely exhausted.
Speaker 1: And I think what you're describing, Jen is one of
Speaker 1: those pieces that we would so easily overlook but has
Speaker 1: a profound impact. Like what you're saying of it's say,
Speaker 1: to marriage, just the simple act of being grateful. And
Speaker 1: I will say, even from a more like clinical perspective,
Speaker 1: this gratitude piece. There's a lot of research on that too,
Speaker 1: and I'll spare you like all of that, but to say,
Speaker 1: where there is if you're noticing this in yourself of
Speaker 1: bitterness or frustration, or a constant pattern of feeling like tired,
Speaker 1: worn out, upset, angry, this is the antidote gratitude. Again,
Speaker 1: it sounds very simple, but it is. And so where
Speaker 1: you can start creating a rhythm and a routine of gratitude,
Speaker 1: of listing things out every day, of looking for the
Speaker 1: gratitude pieces even in the midst of something awful, my goodness,
Speaker 1: that perspective shift and that practice of saying, Okay, I
Speaker 1: had a really sucky week, but where is the gratitude piece,
Speaker 1: or I kind of I call this the kindness? Where
Speaker 1: was the kindness in that time like, so you just
Speaker 1: said I just got back from Peru, which is true,
Speaker 1: and it was a really difficult trip. However, I am
Speaker 1: practicing to look at the kindnesses in the time where
Speaker 1: a lot of people were sick on the trip, I
Speaker 1: had to take on more than I thought that I
Speaker 1: would have to take on. However, the gratitude for me
Speaker 1: and it was that I did not get sick. I
Speaker 1: was able to do the pieces that I had to
Speaker 1: take on, and we had a final day, an unexpected
Speaker 1: day where we were able to enjoy a beautiful pool
Speaker 1: and like jungle surroundings layout in Hammocks. So I'm choosing
Speaker 1: to look at those pieces, and it is drastically changing
Speaker 1: my outlook and my perspective on the trip. And I
Speaker 1: feel a whole lot freer inside myself because I'm choosing
Speaker 1: to look at the kindnesses and sit in gratitude rather
Speaker 1: than like, oh my word, look at all the things
Speaker 1: that sucked. I'm not saying that it's super easy or
Speaker 1: super fun, and that is not to discount the difficult stuff.
Speaker 1: We can still look at that, we can still mourn it,
Speaker 1: but we will be better off inside ourselves if we
Speaker 1: can discipline ourselves to practice this. That's such a fantastic,
Speaker 1: such a good word to finish this episode out on.
Speaker 1: It's thank you, Jill, thank you. I'm grateful for you, Jen,
Speaker 1: and so grateful for our listeners. Yes, I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: all of you and whether you are a listener subscriber
Speaker 1: in our for Girlfriends community on Facebook, I think about you, guys,
Speaker 1: and I'm thankful for you, and I'm thankful for all this. Yes, So,
Speaker 1: and be encouraged that you can do these things. You
Speaker 1: can care for yourself well, you can be aimed at
Speaker 1: well being even if you have zero dollars in the bank. Amen.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listeninging to our Frugal self Care
Speaker 1: episode once again. And I hope even if you heard
Speaker 1: it the first time, you took away some reminders of
Speaker 1: what true self care is. And I mean, we believe
Speaker 1: that part of that is financial self care, because when
Speaker 1: you take care of the big things, you can rest
Speaker 1: more easily on the smaller things. So we definitely hope
Speaker 1: to see you at the Future of Frugal Summit. And
Speaker 1: one of the ways that you can enter to win
Speaker 1: some of our prizes throughout the summit is by leaving
Speaker 1: a review of the podcast kind of like this one
Speaker 1: from mackim mka him. However you say it, uh says
Speaker 1: favorite podcast by far happens to be five stars. If
Speaker 1: you're looking for all of the lessons in frugality and
Speaker 1: also want to laugh out loud, this is the podcast
Speaker 1: for you. I just joined the Frugal Friends Facebook community too,
Speaker 1: and so far it's seems great. Highly recommend this as
Speaker 1: a sure time listening. To make doing the dishes feel
Speaker 1: like a treat, that's high praise. Because the dishes are
Speaker 1: the worst, that is high praise. We make doing the
Speaker 1: dishes more enjoyable. What that's a kind review. We also
Speaker 1: want to thank our friends who share these episodes on
Speaker 1: social media. So when you share the latest episode and
Speaker 1: tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we add you to
Speaker 1: our monthly drawing. For every five tags and reviews we
Speaker 1: get each month, we give away a copy of the
Speaker 1: Frucal Friends workbook and Jenneral We're also doing the special
Speaker 1: thing this month. We are doing the special thing this month. Okay, folks,
Speaker 1: here it is. If you also leave us a podcast
Speaker 1: reviews and send us the screenshot. If you tag us
Speaker 1: on social media, if you share our podcast, you're the
Speaker 1: summer or the summits, any of it, you get entered
Speaker 1: into this drawing. And not only are you entered into
Speaker 1: the drawing for the Frugal Friends workbook, you're also entered
Speaker 1: into the drawing for the all Access pass. So that's
Speaker 1: the past that gets you all of the interviews, lifetime access,
Speaker 1: along with all of the products that the speakers have submitted,
Speaker 1: the goodie bag. All of it comes to you for free.
Speaker 1: For so we love that word. Leaving us reviews on
Speaker 1: iTunes or Stitcher and sending the screenshot to Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. And don't forget us to
Speaker 1: tag us on social when you share the summit and
Speaker 1: we will see you later, see you next week. Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends is produced by Eric Sirian. We'll actually see them Monday, Jill,
Speaker 1: see you Monday. We'll actually see them Sunday. We have
Speaker 1: a kickoff call Oh see you Sunday today. We're gonna
Speaker 1: see you every day. It's gonna be so fun. What
Speaker 1: a good way to self care too, I mean equipping ourselves,
Speaker 1: training ourselves, growing in knowledge and skill set is a
Speaker 1: form of self care. It's not the only thing, but
Speaker 1: it is one of the components. When we feel equipped
Speaker 1: to handle the challenges and problems that we face, when
Speaker 1: we have the tools to do daily life, that is
Speaker 1: self care. I didn't listen to half of what you're
Speaker 1: saying because I was thinking of the bottle of whiskey
Speaker 1: I'm going to buy for the happy hours that we're roasting.
Speaker 1: Very excited um about that. It's fair, But the last
Speaker 1: half sounded good, and I agree