WEBVTT - Living Ritual with Tracee Stanley 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.820 Welcome to Deeply Well. This show is a soft place 0:00:06.860 --> 0:00:10.200 to land on your journey, a space where we explore 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.060 what it truly means to live well from the inside out. 0:00:14.980 --> 0:00:21.689 Not perfectly, but honestly, this is Deeply Well. Welcome back 0:00:21.750 --> 0:00:25.489 to Deeply Well. I'm Devi Brown. Today's guest on the 0:00:25.550 --> 0:00:31.570 show is Tracy Stanley, author, spiritual teacher, and longtime practitioner 0:00:31.670 --> 0:00:36.110 whose work invites us to explore what becomes possible when 0:00:36.150 --> 0:00:41.650 we bring greater intention, rest, ritual, and devotion into our 0:00:41.729 --> 0:00:45.430 everyday lives. Tracy is the author of the bestselling books, 0:00:45.610 --> 0:00:49.360 Radiant Rest and The Luminous Self, and her newest book, 0:00:49.780 --> 0:00:54.960 Living Ritual, infused every day with purpose and spirit, explores 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.900 how we can transform the seemingly ordinary moments of our lives. 0:00:59.530 --> 0:01:03.710 into opportunities for deeper connection and meaning. For more than 0:01:03.710 --> 0:01:08.830 30 years, Tracy has studied Srivijaya Tantra and the teachings 0:01:08.930 --> 0:01:12.589 of the Himalayan masters. And today she shares the wisdom 0:01:12.670 --> 0:01:19.010 of yoga nidra, meditation, self-inquiry, nature as a teacher, ancestor reverence, 0:01:19.690 --> 0:01:24.250 and the power found within liminal spaces. Through her work 0:01:24.290 --> 0:01:28.500 in her community, Empowered Life Circle, Tracy reminds us that 0:01:28.580 --> 0:01:32.259 our spiritual lives don't have to exist separately from our 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:36.100 everyday lives and that the practice can be woven into 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:40.040 how we rest, how we listen, how we move through 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:45.550 transitions and how we meet ourselves each day. So today 0:01:45.670 --> 0:01:49.500 we are exploring what it means to live ritual. the 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:53.380 wisdom available to us through rest and stillness, and how 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:58.400 we can create lives that feel more connected, purposeful, and sacred. 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:01.700 Welcome to the show, Tracy. 0:02:03.210 --> 0:02:05.690 Thank you, Debbie. Thank you so much. It's an honor 0:02:05.730 --> 0:02:06.730 to be here with you. 0:02:07.650 --> 0:02:10.090 Thank you so much. You know what I was thinking 0:02:10.150 --> 0:02:11.910 when I received your beautiful book? 0:02:13.370 --> 0:02:13.519 Oh, man. 0:02:14.790 --> 0:02:20.780 As someone who really, I think, was saved in so 0:02:20.860 --> 0:02:30.380 many ways by bringing devotional romance and ritual and slow, 0:02:30.460 --> 0:02:35.130 steady practice into my life, it was really special reading 0:02:35.169 --> 0:02:39.150 your book and realizing how more than ever, this is 0:02:39.230 --> 0:02:44.600 the medicine of our time. This is what allows us 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:49.290 not just to keep going but to still feel alive 0:02:49.350 --> 0:02:52.730 inside of ourselves and inside of our lives so one 0:02:52.790 --> 0:02:55.030 I mean just thank you for sharing this work in 0:02:55.070 --> 0:02:58.260 this beautiful way with all of us and I think 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.519 too I mean talk to me about your road to 0:03:01.580 --> 0:03:02.920 bringing this to life. 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:07.870 Well thank you for your reflection first of all um 0:03:08.990 --> 0:03:11.280 And the road to bringing it to life, I feel 0:03:11.310 --> 0:03:19.000 like whenever I'm incubating, creating, musing on what's next, I 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:24.269 try to listen for what's happening in the world and 0:03:24.310 --> 0:03:27.850 try to project forward to where I see things going, 0:03:28.090 --> 0:03:32.710 where antidotes might be needed. And when I was musing 0:03:32.790 --> 0:03:40.280 on this, um, It was, you know, mid kind of 2023. 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.020 And I had just had a book that was released. 0:03:44.100 --> 0:03:48.600 And at the same time, I started to notice more isolation, 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.420 more loneliness, more distraction. 0:03:52.860 --> 0:03:53.380 Yeah. 0:03:53.700 --> 0:03:58.310 And that started to increase within the year. And I 0:03:58.370 --> 0:04:01.050 started to think about what were the tools that I've 0:04:01.090 --> 0:04:03.980 been taught? What are the tools that I have? used 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:08.340 in my own life that helped me to harness my 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.370 attention back to myself and my energy back to myself 0:04:12.210 --> 0:04:15.810 because I felt like that distraction was also causing depletion 0:04:16.670 --> 0:04:19.310 and a different kind of depletion. And yes, I've written 0:04:19.390 --> 0:04:22.870 a lot about rest, but what I started to notice 0:04:22.950 --> 0:04:26.270 was that students that were new to the practices of 0:04:26.370 --> 0:04:29.710 rest and new to the practices of Yoga Nidra seemed 0:04:29.750 --> 0:04:33.700 to actually have a harder time dropping in than let's 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:35.440 say pre-pandemic. 0:04:35.779 --> 0:04:37.559 Yeah. 0:04:39.810 --> 0:04:41.630 And so I started to think about some of the 0:04:41.670 --> 0:04:44.210 practices that I had been given and how they were 0:04:44.529 --> 0:04:48.750 all really rituals, how the practice of deep breaths and 0:04:48.790 --> 0:04:52.370 yoga nidra is really based on the ritual of consecrating 0:04:52.430 --> 0:04:57.279 the body as a divine temple. And I felt like, oh, 0:04:57.380 --> 0:05:00.320 this is the thing that we've lost. we've lost this 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.780 remembrance that we are a temple, that life is a ritual, 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:07.320 that our actions and our thoughts and our words are 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:12.969 actually offerings to our life. And when we are distracted 0:05:13.950 --> 0:05:18.690 and that distraction has become pretty much almost a permanent, um. 0:05:19.070 --> 0:05:21.850 State of being. Yeah. My God. 0:05:22.770 --> 0:05:23.190 Yeah. 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:27.500 That it doesn't allow a lot of space and it 0:05:27.540 --> 0:05:31.960 doesn't allow us to observe the transitions that happen, not 0:05:32.020 --> 0:05:36.040 only in the everyday, but in our lives as a 0:05:36.140 --> 0:05:38.120 season or a cycle of nature. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:39.000 Yeah. 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:42.280 And ritual is really a way to be able to 0:05:42.339 --> 0:05:43.540 start to remember that. 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:53.390 So, I mean, just so, so, so, so gorgeously said it's, Yeah. 0:05:53.450 --> 0:05:56.210 I don't even know if all the words like exist 0:05:56.310 --> 0:06:01.890 right now to describe, I think the way all of 0:06:01.970 --> 0:06:05.479 these layers and this nuance to the human experience are 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.320 really kind of bubbling to the surface. You know, I 0:06:08.380 --> 0:06:14.919 think in some ways that the greater collective is connecting 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.120 to it. Like I want an analog life. Let's go 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.900 back to the nineties. Like there's this, you know, this 0:06:20.500 --> 0:06:24.719 feeling of wanting to be without that constant hum of 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:29.469 distraction that can, it just doesn't leave. It surrounds us, 0:06:30.130 --> 0:06:34.370 you know, almost like humidity hugging us. And the interior 0:06:34.430 --> 0:06:38.469 world that we create is the cure. It is the anecdote. 0:06:39.990 --> 0:06:43.930 You know, I'm curious as someone who has been in 0:06:44.070 --> 0:06:48.789 such deep practice with themselves and with their work for 0:06:48.970 --> 0:06:53.310 over the last three decades. What are you noticing that 0:06:53.390 --> 0:06:56.790 even in this moment, you're still learning about yourself and 0:06:56.850 --> 0:06:57.690 bringing to life? 0:07:01.450 --> 0:07:06.270 Well, I think what I'm noticing is actually part of 0:07:06.350 --> 0:07:10.050 what's in contrast to the noticing of the distraction. that 0:07:10.090 --> 0:07:13.670 in some way it's bringing me deeper because I'm listening. 0:07:14.830 --> 0:07:21.090 I feel like the algorithm has a frequency and that 0:07:21.150 --> 0:07:25.770 frequency does not contain truth. It does not contain wisdom 0:07:26.270 --> 0:07:27.680 and it does not contain love. 0:07:29.270 --> 0:07:31.370 And that nature. 0:07:31.740 --> 0:07:36.420 Contains all of those things. Stillness, slowness contains all of 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:41.080 those things. And what I find is that those are 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:44.570 the things that I want to embody, that I want 0:07:44.630 --> 0:07:48.330 my life to be about. And so I think that 0:07:48.510 --> 0:07:54.730 it's pulled a deeper focus, a deeper commitment, a deeper 0:07:54.790 --> 0:07:58.600 devotion to what it is that I feel is real 0:07:59.380 --> 0:08:01.540 and what it is that I want to have in 0:08:01.580 --> 0:08:02.680 the forefront. 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:03.059 Of my own life. 0:08:04.540 --> 0:08:06.560 And it's not to say that I don't get distracted 0:08:06.620 --> 0:08:11.280 because I certainly do. But each distraction, I try to 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:15.600 use it as a way to reset, a way to remember. 0:08:22.070 --> 0:08:26.610 Yeah, thank you. For someone listening right now, you know, 0:08:26.630 --> 0:08:33.480 that may be yearning to taste that, you know, I 0:08:33.540 --> 0:08:37.460 find that Before you have it, it's hard to really 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:42.820 conceptualize what this shift is and what it really opens 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:49.970 and brings into your experience of being alive. For someone 0:08:50.390 --> 0:08:54.150 looking to really start the path of listening for the 0:08:54.190 --> 0:08:58.770 first time, observing for the first time, slowing for the 0:08:58.809 --> 0:09:01.329 first time, what's. 0:09:01.210 --> 0:09:01.930 A way to begin? 0:09:01.950 --> 0:09:07.020 Hmm. I think a way to begin, first of all, 0:09:07.460 --> 0:09:11.680 is to remember a moment of awe in your own life. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.300 I feel like that's something that most of us can 0:09:15.370 --> 0:09:19.690 connect to. That moment that you saw the double rainbow 0:09:20.030 --> 0:09:24.550 or you felt the wind from a raven's wings flapping 0:09:25.070 --> 0:09:31.309 or you saw the baby's first smile or laugh. There's 0:09:31.370 --> 0:09:38.960 a moment of presence. that is available. And it is 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.500 what makes, I think it is what makes all possible. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:49.640 And those are the moments that are the portals for 0:09:49.740 --> 0:09:54.339 us to be inspired to say, I want more of 0:09:54.500 --> 0:09:57.400 that in my life. I want more of that noticing. 0:09:57.460 --> 0:10:01.179 I want more of that feeling. And then we have 0:10:01.220 --> 0:10:05.780 to remember that we can actually create those moments ourselves. 0:10:06.460 --> 0:10:10.420 We don't need to wait for the double rainbow. What 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.560 we can do is we can create our own transitions, 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:20.640 our own thresholds. And sometimes it's as simple as just 0:10:20.700 --> 0:10:26.120 closing your eyes for a few moments and feeling what 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:30.300 the breath feels like in the body and noticing that 0:10:30.340 --> 0:10:35.750 there is always a space between the inhale and there's 0:10:35.830 --> 0:10:39.270 always a space between the exhale and the next inhale. 0:10:40.550 --> 0:10:44.790 And most of the time we're instructed to just notice 0:10:44.850 --> 0:10:47.930 the breath as it flows in and out. But if 0:10:47.970 --> 0:10:51.990 we actually begin to notice the pause in between and 0:10:52.050 --> 0:10:56.429 allow ourselves to settle and I dare say surrender into 0:10:56.480 --> 0:11:01.240 that space in between, it becomes a portal to so 0:11:01.300 --> 0:11:03.100 much wisdom and so much knowing. 0:11:05.059 --> 0:11:06.459 That was just so gorgeous. 0:11:06.620 --> 0:11:07.840 Yeah. Wow. 0:11:09.100 --> 0:11:17.350 What a way to describe that. glimpse of your soul, that, 0:11:17.530 --> 0:11:28.890 that way to be deeply, deeply in and aligned. Um, I, I, I, 0:11:29.470 --> 0:11:34.040 I'm really savoring what you said because as a meditator 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:41.000 and meditator teaching, um, meditation teacher, it's, that is just 0:11:41.140 --> 0:11:44.460 one of the most special gifts being able to share 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:52.450 a path into that door, that portal. Um, and once, 0:11:53.210 --> 0:11:57.829 once you get it just one time, you can get 0:11:57.950 --> 0:12:04.429 back there anytime. It, it changes absolutely everything. And even 0:12:04.470 --> 0:12:09.490 just a second, it's just more than enough. Um, And 0:12:09.630 --> 0:12:11.890 that's one of the most special things I think about 0:12:11.950 --> 0:12:18.430 having a practice and letting yourself surrender to the discomforts 0:12:18.710 --> 0:12:23.970 and everything, the irritations of a practice, all of it. 0:12:24.090 --> 0:12:30.810 It's getting that glimpse changes all of it. It changes 0:12:30.890 --> 0:12:31.850 everything forever. 0:12:32.850 --> 0:12:37.750 Yeah. Thank you for also just naming the glimpse. Because 0:12:37.830 --> 0:12:41.510 sometimes we feel as though, oh, I don't have enough 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:46.480 time to sit or I don't have enough time to learn. 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:51.100 And the thing is, is that we already know. And 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:57.380 the moment that you touch that place, it keeps calling 0:12:57.420 --> 0:12:57.880 you back. 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:03.020 It keeps calling. 0:13:03.660 --> 0:13:08.590 Anybody who's... Who's on the journey of meditation remembers the 0:13:08.630 --> 0:13:13.130 moment that they felt that glimpse or they saw that glimpse. 0:13:13.490 --> 0:13:16.200 And that's the thing that keeps them coming back. 0:13:16.020 --> 0:13:16.740 To their cushion. 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:21.100 And it's the same with ritual because meditation is really 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:22.420 a ritual as well. 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:23.560 Yeah. 0:13:24.540 --> 0:13:24.780 Yeah. 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:28.090 And I think, you know, that's one of. the really 0:13:28.250 --> 0:13:31.010 special parts. Cause I think when someone is looking to 0:13:31.050 --> 0:13:33.150 start a practice, I think for all of us, it's, 0:13:33.429 --> 0:13:40.590 it's so big, it's so different. It's so, um, many 0:13:41.010 --> 0:13:44.610 little steps. And at first it can feel like a checklist, 0:13:44.750 --> 0:13:49.939 you know, but when you can develop that glimpse for 0:13:50.179 --> 0:13:56.819 one thing, it becomes so incredibly easy to improve. apply 0:13:56.860 --> 0:14:00.380 it to everything to all the things to make every 0:14:00.420 --> 0:14:04.579 little moment and ritual and so many you beautifully describe 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:08.719 and give in the book but to make every single 0:14:08.780 --> 0:14:12.910 one of those moments like really spiritual fuel or spiritual 0:14:12.970 --> 0:14:15.170 release for yourself um. 0:14:15.809 --> 0:14:20.850 Yeah it's um i you know what an example of 0:14:20.910 --> 0:14:23.170 that would be is that there's a practice in the 0:14:23.220 --> 0:14:27.330 book that's called the blessing pour over And it's this 0:14:27.450 --> 0:14:31.330 idea that with every morning coffee or with every morning 0:14:31.430 --> 0:14:34.770 tea that you can make that into a ritual just 0:14:34.810 --> 0:14:38.470 by bringing your presence and intention. So taking a couple 0:14:38.530 --> 0:14:42.240 of moments while the water is boiling to just watch 0:14:42.270 --> 0:14:45.100 your breath and be in meditation. And so that could 0:14:45.130 --> 0:14:48.200 be about two minutes. And then the moment that the 0:14:48.540 --> 0:14:52.100 coffee or the tea is ready, when you pour into 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:56.220 your own bowl or your own cup, pouring yourself a 0:14:56.280 --> 0:15:00.800 blessing or a prayer or repeating an affirmation and doing 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:04.120 the same for someone else you might be serving. And 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:08.460 eventually what I've heard from students who have practiced this 0:15:09.180 --> 0:15:12.680 is that eventually it starts to lead to, oh, there's 0:15:12.820 --> 0:15:17.070 prayers now happening when I'm preparing my meal. There's prayers 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:21.150 now happening when I'm serving my family. And now everything 0:15:21.330 --> 0:15:25.280 in the kitchen is, suddenly becomes an act of blessing, 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.600 an act of presence, an act of prayer. And this 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:34.910 is how the householder then begins to weave this practice 0:15:34.970 --> 0:15:39.050 of ritual throughout the day. You start to become attuned 0:15:39.150 --> 0:15:43.150 to all of these moments and transitions, whether it's, you know, 0:15:43.270 --> 0:15:48.230 serving that morning pour over, or it's sitting in line 0:15:48.290 --> 0:15:51.810 waiting for school pickup. You start to realize like, oh, 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.780 I've got about eight minutes before I get to the 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.120 head of the line. What am I going to do 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.560 with this eight minutes? Am I going to scroll or 0:16:01.380 --> 0:16:04.540 am I going to sing or am I going to 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.350 pray or am I going to meditate? What am I 0:16:07.390 --> 0:16:09.290 going to do with this time? How am I going 0:16:09.350 --> 0:16:10.030 to be present? 0:16:12.330 --> 0:16:13.370 Yes. 0:16:13.810 --> 0:16:14.790 Yes. 0:16:16.810 --> 0:16:25.260 Living prayer. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, God, you just poured 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:34.660 so much. It's so good. And it's so real. Opening 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:42.480 to this kind of devotional way of being, it changes everything. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:50.070 It changes everything. It opens, opens, opens so much. possibility 0:16:50.230 --> 0:16:56.300 and potential in every single second. And just the spiritual 0:16:56.380 --> 0:16:59.660 fortification that it gives you, the protection that it gives you. 0:16:59.780 --> 0:17:02.580 I love how you describe... I mean, I can't say enough. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.160 I don't want to keep saying, oh my gosh, yes, 0:17:04.220 --> 0:17:07.399 I do that and me too. But the power of 0:17:07.500 --> 0:17:11.000 it is so special. And I hope everyone listening really 0:17:11.750 --> 0:17:15.270 gets that because I know sometimes, especially starting with little 0:17:15.330 --> 0:17:19.370 rituals like this, as you're building kind of the tolerance 0:17:19.490 --> 0:17:23.310 for the repetition, for the practice, it feels weird. It 0:17:23.350 --> 0:17:25.889 feels disjointed. You may not always think you have the 0:17:25.930 --> 0:17:29.189 language or, you know, it may not be used to 0:17:29.350 --> 0:17:34.689 how you're, um, it may not be how you are 0:17:34.850 --> 0:17:39.840 used to interacting with your life or with yourself. but 0:17:39.900 --> 0:17:42.639 taking the time to practice it, especially knowing that no 0:17:42.700 --> 0:17:45.240 one is watching and no one's giving out a grade 0:17:45.340 --> 0:17:54.020 for it, it clicks in very, very, very swiftly and 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.600 becomes something that does feel natural and then that changes 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:00.590 your flow and your rhythm with absolutely everything. 0:18:02.830 --> 0:18:04.270 Yes, absolutely. 0:18:04.790 --> 0:18:09.620 And I think that the key is that at least 0:18:09.660 --> 0:18:13.680 the way that I'm presenting these rituals and living ritual 0:18:14.530 --> 0:18:18.390 is really that you get to be the one to 0:18:18.510 --> 0:18:23.090 create the ritual. You get to be the one to 0:18:23.890 --> 0:18:28.170 listen deeply, to look around your space. So there is 0:18:28.290 --> 0:18:30.330 no such thing as getting it wrong. 0:18:30.950 --> 0:18:31.450 Right. 0:18:31.990 --> 0:18:33.490 You know, yeah. 0:18:45.330 --> 0:18:48.810 Can you share with me maybe some of your, as 0:18:48.869 --> 0:18:54.050 you look back over time, some of the rituals that 0:18:54.650 --> 0:18:57.570 specifically brought you back to you in moments that you 0:18:57.630 --> 0:19:00.890 really needed it or ones that you found you just 0:19:00.970 --> 0:19:05.470 intuitively created in a moment of need and how it 0:19:05.530 --> 0:19:06.070 met that? 0:19:07.859 --> 0:19:08.379 Beautiful. 0:19:09.650 --> 0:19:15.220 Yes, I would think that I'd like to share what 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:23.419 happened after my father passed away. And, you know, I 0:19:23.460 --> 0:19:29.430 have a very steady meditation practice. And the day after 0:19:29.510 --> 0:19:36.149 he passed, I was in meditation. And he came to 0:19:36.210 --> 0:19:41.709 me as a star, a brilliant star of light. And 0:19:41.750 --> 0:19:48.050 it was undeniable. That it was him. And I was like, wow. 0:19:49.190 --> 0:19:51.389 We do really. go back to light. 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:59.940 And some other things happened that also continue to confirm that. 0:19:59.960 --> 0:20:04.420 And what I started to do, because eventually that light 0:20:05.020 --> 0:20:09.300 started to fade, is to lay under the stars. 0:20:10.020 --> 0:20:10.369 Hmm. 0:20:11.430 --> 0:20:13.910 And as I laid under the stars, I would look 0:20:13.970 --> 0:20:18.889 for him. And I would offer my prayers and my remembrances. 0:20:20.070 --> 0:20:26.310 And then eventually, it became more of the ancestors that 0:20:26.369 --> 0:20:31.520 I would feel and sense in the starlight. And that 0:20:31.580 --> 0:20:38.000 became something that I did often, as well as on 0:20:38.020 --> 0:20:42.980 the anniversary of his death. And that was not a 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:46.859 ritual that anyone told me to go and do. That 0:20:46.900 --> 0:20:52.290 was something that came up and bubbled its way into 0:20:52.330 --> 0:20:58.250 my consciousness. I'll give you another example. And I write 0:20:58.290 --> 0:21:03.429 about this example in The Luminous Self. So when I 0:21:03.470 --> 0:21:08.600 was younger, I was in, I think it was seventh 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:11.929 or eighth grade. And a couple of girls on the 0:21:11.970 --> 0:21:16.530 bus decided to jump me and smash eggs in my hair. 0:21:17.070 --> 0:21:17.890 Oh, my God. 0:21:18.020 --> 0:21:21.440 And they smashed these eggs in my hair. And it 0:21:22.460 --> 0:21:24.680 was because they didn't like how my hair was styled. 0:21:25.740 --> 0:21:26.000 Right? 0:21:26.520 --> 0:21:29.159 And so I had to walk through. 0:21:29.300 --> 0:21:32.140 And I was going to this school that had like 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:35.200 a half a mile between the East Wing and the 0:21:35.260 --> 0:21:38.379 West Wing. And where the bus dropped me off, I 0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:41.659 had to walk. all through the hallways and through the 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:47.960 center place where everyone would hang out before homeroom. And 0:21:47.980 --> 0:21:51.820 I remember getting off of the bus and saying to myself, 0:21:53.140 --> 0:21:56.560 I am covered with eggs. There's nothing I can do. 0:21:56.600 --> 0:21:58.760 I can go to the bathroom and I can wipe 0:21:58.820 --> 0:22:00.800 some of it off, but I have to get to 0:22:00.859 --> 0:22:05.399 my homeroom class in time. And so I just decided 0:22:05.460 --> 0:22:09.369 that I was going to be Cleopatra. And that I 0:22:09.430 --> 0:22:12.110 was going to walk like Cleopatra and I was going 0:22:12.130 --> 0:22:16.170 to walk with a gown through the halls until I 0:22:16.210 --> 0:22:18.630 could get to a place where I could really clean 0:22:18.670 --> 0:22:19.250 myself up. 0:22:19.550 --> 0:22:20.109 Wow. 0:22:20.869 --> 0:22:24.960 And it was a very traumatic experience for two reasons. 0:22:25.160 --> 0:22:26.740 One, because of the eggs. 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:31.199 Two, because what I did was I put this facade 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:35.900 of Cleopatra on that it took me years to realize 0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:37.220 was still intact. 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:37.399 Mm-hmm. 0:22:38.030 --> 0:22:41.130 So I wasn't allowing people to see the real me. 0:22:42.130 --> 0:22:45.520 I had a mask that was on and that mask 0:22:45.580 --> 0:22:51.540 changed over years, right? But at some point I did 0:22:51.619 --> 0:22:55.770 some practices around this and I said, oh, I need 0:22:55.830 --> 0:22:59.690 to do a ritual in order to kind of break this. 0:23:00.070 --> 0:23:02.189 We could call it a spell. We could call it 0:23:02.310 --> 0:23:05.629 a samskara. We could call it a trauma. I need 0:23:05.750 --> 0:23:11.430 to regain my power. And the first thing that came 0:23:11.530 --> 0:23:15.220 to my mind when I said to myself, I need 0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:18.820 to regain my power, was that you have to break 0:23:18.859 --> 0:23:19.840 that egg over. 0:23:19.700 --> 0:23:20.340 Your own head. 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:25.699 And so I waited for my husband to go on 0:23:25.790 --> 0:23:30.130 a business trip and know that I would have like 0:23:30.210 --> 0:23:35.910 three days kind of unbothered by anyone and nobody asking 0:23:35.950 --> 0:23:40.670 me what I'm doing. And I performed my own ritual 0:23:42.130 --> 0:23:46.050 of breaking this egg over my head, taking back my power, 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:51.000 naming who I was, what I was, what I wanted 0:23:51.060 --> 0:23:59.220 from life, and releasing this trauma, this experience of really 0:23:59.340 --> 0:24:04.000 shame and using a mask, so to speak, to cover 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:05.179 the shame. Yeah. 0:24:05.200 --> 0:24:05.440 Right? 0:24:06.060 --> 0:24:10.000 Right. And it was extremely powerful. And the moment I 0:24:10.060 --> 0:24:15.609 broke that egg over my head, it was over. It 0:24:15.660 --> 0:24:16.140 was over. 0:24:16.330 --> 0:24:20.550 I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now having 0:24:20.590 --> 0:24:24.650 this conversation about my third book if I had not 0:24:24.730 --> 0:24:25.610 done that ritual. 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:33.820 Thank you for sharing that. 0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:33.919 Yeah. 0:24:34.580 --> 0:24:34.939 Yeah. 0:24:38.290 --> 0:24:40.850 So powerful. So powerful. 0:24:43.140 --> 0:24:50.460 Our ability, my God. I'm like, we can do this 0:24:50.940 --> 0:24:58.649 with everything, everyone. We can do this with everything. And 0:24:59.730 --> 0:25:03.649 I think what I'm finding so special about this conversation is. 0:25:09.180 --> 0:25:14.020 When we're using words that have become so popular, like 0:25:14.200 --> 0:25:23.940 manifest or even spell work or affirmation or all of 0:25:24.010 --> 0:25:28.190 these words that we're using sometimes for, and excuse me, 0:25:29.410 --> 0:25:33.310 this does sound like judgment, but just my observation, what 0:25:33.350 --> 0:25:38.780 we use for ultimately frivolous things in relation to like 0:25:38.859 --> 0:25:46.560 our greater soul journey. But you can use this to 0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:51.180 heal bigger things, like to really get to the root 0:25:51.240 --> 0:25:55.750 of the root and not just look to acquire other 0:25:55.850 --> 0:25:59.770 mass for the work that's undone. You can put that 0:25:59.850 --> 0:26:05.920 level of intention and manifestation in creating moments like Tracy 0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:11.320 just described to us to break real generational cycles in 0:26:11.340 --> 0:26:18.620 your life and patterns and shame and harm and completely 0:26:18.740 --> 0:26:26.219 reorganize your body, your heart, your brain around an entirely 0:26:26.290 --> 0:26:27.210 different way of being. 0:26:29.660 --> 0:26:30.020 Yeah. 0:26:30.180 --> 0:26:34.900 And, you know, thousands of years ago, there were sages 0:26:35.020 --> 0:26:39.200 and scholars who wrote about how to do this. They 0:26:39.290 --> 0:26:44.310 wrote about these practices and the stains of the mind 0:26:44.730 --> 0:26:48.429 and the imprints that happen and how we kind of 0:26:48.490 --> 0:26:52.430 double down on those imprints. And when those imprints happen 0:26:52.470 --> 0:26:55.990 to us, and we can think about that as a mask, right, 0:26:56.510 --> 0:27:01.450 that something happens. And it becomes a coloring. And if 0:27:01.510 --> 0:27:07.750 the coloring becomes concretized, it becomes our personality. And then 0:27:07.790 --> 0:27:13.030 we begin to believe that we are the personality. And 0:27:13.070 --> 0:27:16.790 we forget about the true light inside of us. We 0:27:16.850 --> 0:27:19.470 forget about the little girl who got on the bus, 0:27:20.130 --> 0:27:23.960 who was joyous and happy. And then after that experience, 0:27:24.560 --> 0:27:27.919 felt like they needed to be invisible in order to 0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:28.379 be safe. 0:27:29.190 --> 0:27:29.490 Yeah. 0:27:30.350 --> 0:27:30.689 Right. 0:27:31.869 --> 0:27:33.850 So we we have tools. 0:27:34.090 --> 0:27:37.909 And I love that you use the word frivolous because 0:27:37.990 --> 0:27:42.639 I think that a lot of times in this contemporary 0:27:42.700 --> 0:27:46.960 kind of wellness culture, they do become frivolous. Yeah. 0:27:47.160 --> 0:27:51.440 And these things have power. Yes. If you know how. 0:27:51.300 --> 0:27:55.000 How to use them, they have a lot of power 0:27:55.440 --> 0:27:58.290 and we have to be careful with that power. We 0:27:58.330 --> 0:28:01.250 can't be distracted. We have to be present. 0:28:03.290 --> 0:28:06.410 We have to be present with it now more than ever. 0:28:06.490 --> 0:28:12.330 My God, this moment, this moment, this moment. Tracy, I 0:28:12.350 --> 0:28:15.949 would love to ask for someone listening that is ready 0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:20.020 to kind of invoke the sacred or begin to feel 0:28:20.040 --> 0:28:24.359 a bigger connection in their lives that hasn't yet started. 0:28:24.980 --> 0:28:28.840