WEBVTT - BONUS: So Nice, We Have To Do It Twice! 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.960 Hi, babes. Because I didn't think you were getting enough 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:12.559 of me. I have decided to shove myself down your 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:16.080 throats even further with a give them La La bout 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:18.040 episode each week. 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.520 You're welcome for the first ever. 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:24.439 It is, and we're gonna give you just enough. It's 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.520 like just the tip, just your yes. I wanted to 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.920 do bonus episodes that were more structured. So how this 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:32.519 is gonna work, how I would like it to work, 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:35.120 because you know, we're dipping our toe in again just 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:41.480 the tip. The first podcast bonus podcast of each month 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:46.280 will be an og episode of VPR that will be 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.960 honing in on breaking down. You guys can weigh in 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:53.880 the rest of the episodes. I would like structured ames 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.600 so today, because I know what it's like going into 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.680 the holidays, and I feel like I'm very blessed and 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:05.120 privileged to have a beautiful community around me, friends, family, 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.039 But the holidays are tough, and coming out of the 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:11.400 holidays is also tough because you've got so much build 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:14.760 up and then it's just over and you've got like 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:20.080 gray snow outside wom WoT mm hmm, and then you 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:23.080 go straight into Valentine's Day, which is like love, you 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.720 don't have a husband, you don't have much, just a 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.080 lot like and I want to know your guys' thoughts 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:29.920 because I know I'm not the only one sitting here 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:31.240 being like, why am I a little bummed? 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:31.640 Yeah? 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:32.720 Why am I a little bummed out? 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:38.240 There's so many great, great answers and things you guys 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:39.840 wrote in So thank you already. 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:41.600 Yeah, yeah, you. 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.039 Told me that there's like a lot of good good 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:45.960 shizzle my nizzle in the am s. 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.040 Absolutely, all right, let's go off. I do want to 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.120 start off with this one. It's because I think both 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:55.400 of you could really help dealing Oh well, reminder of 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:58.640 the question was what's the most difficult part about going 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:01.120 into the holidays as well as coming out of them? 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:06.000 So this one is dealing with the grief since my 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.840 mother passed. Holidays are honestly the worst lately. 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:11.600 Oh my gosh, that takes me right back to like 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:15.600 the first Christmas. Oh it makes me want to vomit. 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.960 Yeah, no, I don't. Here's the thing, it's it's a 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:21.920 mental thing, and you for me, I had to just 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:23.440 trump the negative thoughts. 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:25.320 Okay, so that's what I did. 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:28.240 So like having a glass of eggnog for my dad 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.520 was a happy thought for me. So little things like 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:35.080 that are what got me through. But it is it's shitty, 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:38.120 it's heart wrenching that, you know, you go through all 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.520 these you know, holidays and you have your whole family 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:45.120 and just one is taken and then it's never the same. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.840 No, But we do have a tight. 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.000 Knit group and it's it's easy to get through the 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:52.680 holidays with the love and support that we all give 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:53.040 each other. 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.280 So you also have to remember where like what almost 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.800 six six six years in but the first one, it 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:03.160 was like I used to go home every holiday, every 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:06.200 Thanksgiving and every Christmas. And then when my dad passed away, 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:09.280 it was like Easton and my mom didn't want to 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.920 be in Utah because they had the constant reminder of, like, 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.800 we're still living in the home that I shared with 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:19.680 my husband or my dad for my whole life. So 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.239 I had the luxury of like I had moved out, 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.880 you know, like I kind of had a life. Started 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:28.639 Not saying that it was easy for me to get 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:31.720 through my dad's passing, but it was like they started 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:34.560 coming out to la for holidays and just everything shifted. 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:38.440 And once that happened, holidays didn't feel like holidays anymore. Yeah, 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.280 you know, like I used to go home and it 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:46.320 was like my childhood home looked like Christmas had thrown 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:50.000 up all over it, right, you know, like Thanksgiving was 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.280 very structured and so much fun, and we had so 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:56.440 many things to look forward to, and it was like 0:03:56.480 --> 0:04:00.320 the weather suit the time of year, you know, like 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.200 out here, it's like why is the sun shining on 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:07.120 December twenty fifth? Right, why is the sun out? Okay, 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.280 I don't get it. So just like everything shifted and 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.800 it felt very weird. Now, like Easton said, I think 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:18.280 implementing things into your holiday that so like the memory 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:22.480 of that parent is still in the home is very important. 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:27.000 And again, holidays are tough, so you better find you 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:28.200 better find the spirit. 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.880 Really, it's up to you too. Like that's the other thing. 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:33.919 I can't help anybody get through it. You have to 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.640 help yourself get through it. And there's no right or wrong. 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.560 You just got to do what gets you through it healthy, 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:42.919 not over drinking or exactly. But like just like like 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.120 I said, celebrating with a glass of eggnog for me 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.560 was for my dad. Pistachios that was for my dad. 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:52.280 They're just little things that I do to keep his 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:53.080 memory alive. 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:57.600 Even making sure yeah you know, well, even watching Christmas Vacation, 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:03.280 like Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day and on Thanksgiving, 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:07.320 like yeah, that shoved into our household, like down the 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.160 one thing I wish that we would do though tt 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.720 Like when we turned Christmas Vacation on when my dad 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.400 was alive, Like we were sitting down watching Christmas Vacation. Right, 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.599 it wasn't background noise, it was sit your flat asses 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:23.320 down and watch fucking Grizzly we did playing on the 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:27.200 heater like we had no one was on the phone, 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.840 So that I would like to start doing like we're 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.400 sitting down and watching a movie as a family. Yeah, 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:39.159 no electronics, no, No, like dusting mom. No, Like you 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:42.880 can wrap Christmas presents and that's about while watching it, right, 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:43.960 but nothing else. 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.680 Right, So to the point, I think, yeah, you just 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.440 got to keep the memory alive. And I feel like 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:50.480 that kind of helps you get through the holidays in 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:52.280 a healthy, happy spirit. 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.080 I love that. I think that's beautiful. 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:57.760 I think it's different for every everyone. I'm just going 0:05:57.800 --> 0:05:59.880 off of my grandpa because I was super close to him, 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:01.840 and of course my grandma. 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:04.800 We did. We talked about it because. 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.080 I remember the feeling of my grandma not we were 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.320 getting closer to the first Christmas without him, and he 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.600 made Christmas so special, just. 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.240 Like like you said, like stunning. 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:16.200 The house was gorgeous, and and then she was kind 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:18.359 of she was decorating with like her sons instead of 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.360 her husband. So I felt her going in the route 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.920 of not talking about him, and every time things were 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.719 brought up, like switching the subject. So I just made it, 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.599 started making it a tradition every Christmas when I'm home, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:34.160 every Christmas Eve morning, going over having coffee two hours 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:36.560 just like talking about him and being like remember when 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.120 he did this, And of course yes we cry and 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.880 all that, but it's like beautiful because then we've got 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.200 it out his like energies in the home, and then 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:46.599 we go into the day like ready to take on 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:46.880 the home. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.040 I love that, Jess. Yeah, I feel like that's a 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:53.520 generational thing. Like heartbreak. Rough times, you sweep it under 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.719 the rug. We don't discuss it, We keep a stiff 0:06:55.800 --> 0:07:00.320 upper lip. Yeah you don't cry. Yeah, I love it's 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:04.440 so like Mom said, God gave you tears for a reason. 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:09.080 Emotions are beautiful. People should share them. 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.720 I totally agree, So thank you guys for sharing that. 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.840 This one is very common. Weight gain zero time to 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:21.400 exercise off all the Tamali's, Ravioli's, beverages and bread. 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:25.480 Let me tell you something. Enjoy the hell out of 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.880 the holidays. Think of yourself like a bear. All right. 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:32.480 You know what bears do. They go out. They are 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:36.040 freaking savages. They put on their winter weight because you 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.760 know what, it's time to go into hibernation. We got 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.240 to be warm, We got to be well fed before 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.600 we power down. Look at the holidays as that. Enjoy 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:48.480 all the good food in the freaking world. Know your 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.040 game plan when you come out of the holidays. But 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:55.160 give yourself some like room to chill, have some fun. 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:58.440 I'm sorry. Like people say you can't talk about this 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.680 because you're a thin person, but don't twist it. There 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:02.280 are times I look in the mirror and I'm like, bitch, 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.840 you look, you're looking skinny, soft like this is not cute. 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:08.400 But then you take a step back. We all have 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.840 our insecurities, no matter who you are, even the most 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:12.920 the baddest bitch on the planet, who you think is 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:15.239 the baddest bitch stands in the mirror naked and says, 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:19.040 I'm not digging X, Y and Z just not okay. 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.680 So give yourself a little bit of like grace and 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.760 go and eat the sheet cake, Eat the fucking turkey 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.200 if you want it. Who gives a shit you want 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:33.240 three rolls, Eat the three rolls. It's time to freaking 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:34.000 celebrate and. 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:36.040 Eat good, allowing yourself. 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:39.559 And this isn't interesting because I Kyle will have consultations 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.440 with his clients at home, and I will listen to 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:43.240 things he says because usually they're helpful for me. 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.840 Yeah, you should talk about this because you've got someone 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:50.280 in the house who's like healthy and also doesn't what 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.880 is it He doesn't What is it when you keep something? 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.840 He doesn't deprive you of. 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:57.040 Good food, of good food. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.520 And well, he's all about moderation, all of it. Extra size, 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:04.120 eating sweets, eating healthy. If you overdo anything, it's in 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.640 his opinion, very unhealthy, even EXTRACI. 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:11.960 But also well, on. 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:19.320 That note, there was someone who was saying, I know 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.280 myself and there's gonna be a cake and I'm gonna 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.040 overeat it. They had talked about having an eating disorder, 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:26.360 a binge eating disorder and like, I know myself and 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:29.120 I'm afraid. They're like, I know I'm gonna do it. 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.400 I'm afraid of the guilt and the shame I feel after. 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:35.720 And he said that is something. Of course it's different 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:39.920 for everyone. But let's say you have you're a binge 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.160 eater and you're trying to and the holidays are so 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:45.440 tough for you, and you binge you there's a whole 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:48.520 cake and you eat it, and it's the guilt and 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:54.120 the shame afterwards is so difficult to deal with. But 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.920 that's something that he really encourages you to be like, look, 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:00.679 you ate it, move on, drink a bunch of water, right, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.720 maybe focus having a salad with your next meal. 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.760 In fact, you're already you did it. 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:07.439 You did it. 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:07.840 Do not. 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.880 The guilt and shame is just gonna take you in 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.640 a deeper hole, and you're gonna think, I already binge 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.400 it yesterday, I might as well do it today. 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.400 Everything. No, you did it. 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:20.040 Now move on and be thankful that you enjoyed that, 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.480 and now have a little extra water, add some veggies 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.000 to your dinner. It's the it's the really trying to 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:28.720 keep yourself out of the spiraling and the guilt and 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.520 shame that goes with the holidays and eating. And I 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:33.440 know not we don't all deal with that, but it 0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:35.880 was something I heard him talking about with a lovely woman, 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.120 and I was like, that's a great tip. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.679 You know what. I have so much respect for this 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:45.079 woman that she could pinpoint exactly what she's like. She's 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.840 self aware, she knows that she struggles, and she talked 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:51.920 about her fears if she does something that she knows 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.640 she's probably going to do. Yes. Yeah, I have mad 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:55.680 respect for that chick. 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:58.000 Me too, because it's like every year she was saying. 0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:59.880 Every year I go in, I'm not gonna binge. I'm 0:10:59.920 --> 0:11:00.720 not gonna binge. 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.679 She's like, and I'm really afraid of it because I 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:04.920 know it happens every time. I like can't help it. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.080 And he's like, Okay, if we know it's gonna happen, great, 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:08.960 it's gonna happen. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.520 And then here's the game plan for when it's all off. Yes, exactly, see, 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.520 so you said it, but you've got like the professionalism 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.880 to back it up. For me, it's like, go into 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:21.160 the holiday and just enjoy life is so freaking stressful 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.600 as it is We're constantly trying to play keep up, 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:28.000 catch up and just go into the holiday, eat whatever 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:31.240 you want. But no, before you do that, this is 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:33.600 my game plan starting on this day. And I know 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.000 New Year's resolutions and the working out, I get it. 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:37.600 I do the same thing where I'm like, I'm gonna 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:42.440 work out every day. Tunny, tunny, far. But let me 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.840 tell you something. The guilt that you feel after you 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:48.800 do something is going to kill you much quicker than 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.400 what you're actually doing. I remember when I was trying 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:54.120 to kick the vape, which we finally kicked, but I 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:57.559 would go a full day and then at the very 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.600 end of the day see Easton's and be like, I'm 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.800 fucking it and it feels so much guilt, And then 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.160 my mom would pile on and I was like, you 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.160 know what, I've just learned. The stress in the guilt 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:11.480 is going to kill me before the v Yes, I 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:13.760 can't have why at the end of the day, give. 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:14.960 Me the fucking vape. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:20.240 I need something, right, right? I know I have nothing. 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.760 I know, well, I don't hit the vape in front 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:25.640 of her for that reason. 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.120 You hit it on the way into podcasts, so it 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.560 fell on the ground, so I couldn't hide something that 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:32.960 fell on the ground, so I was like, you know what, 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.560 on the ground in the mouth and all it's all good. 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.360 That's how I used to think about dicks on the ground, 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:42.920 in the ground, in the mouth, hanging on the ground. Oh, 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:48.680 trust me to the ground. That hurts me? Third leg, 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:49.559 try potting. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.320 Let's move on quickly, quickly, There we go on to 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:53.680 the next. 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:55.359 There we go happ. 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:02.960 Okay, be on your own at home and missing your 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:04.360 work social life. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:05.720 This is a good one because a lot of people 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:06.839 are like the break. 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:09.959 But what about the people that maybe struggle at home 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.520 right like work and miss their friends at work? 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.920 You guys, this justin there are people who actually enjoy 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:16.480 their jobs. 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.080 Yeah, me being one of them. 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:23.240 Bravo. Jobs that are fun to exist. You can find them. 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:26.440 You don't have to be tortured every day of your 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:30.760 life just to earn a paycheck. Actually that is I've 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:34.760 never had to think about that. But I actually love 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:36.960 that question because what if you go to work and 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:40.440 it's like I enjoy going because those people may be 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.200 like my coworkers, but they're actually my friends as well. 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.360 Like me and Becky straight up talk about a lot 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:48.160 of cool shit, and it's. 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.040 Your social life, right kind of yeah? 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:52.400 Right, and then all of your work friends maybe go 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.680 and they have like their families or they got a 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.599 boyfriend that they're going home to, whatever it may be, 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.600 and you go home and be by yourself. That is 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.840 when this is a much bigger issue, right, This is 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.560 more than just the holidays, Like you really have to 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:12.319 become okay being by yourself and pampering the fuck out 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:18.400 of yourself. Right, Enjoy the silence, take a warm, yummy bath, 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:20.880 get some like scrubs, and I get it. The break 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:25.360 is long, but now it's your job to start checking in. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.680 There's other people who are going to be staying in 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:31.480 town for the holiday, Like, go find other people you 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:35.960 know who would be great at answering this. My mother, yeah, yeah, 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:40.280 she's terrified at being by herself when she first moved 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:41.760 out here. She's like, you're going out to dinner with 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:45.120 your friends. I'm like, you'll be okay. Take a warm bath, 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:48.440 light a candle, right, what do you mean, I'm like 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:52.200 in pamper yourself. Some people don't know how to take 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.800 a load off. Binge, watch a show, shut your brain down, 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:57.600 don't look at social media. 0:14:58.360 --> 0:14:59.040 Read books. 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.920 No, Yeah, that is one that is a great point 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:03.000 during the holidays. 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.480 Stay off. Yeah. Social if you're a home alone. 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:07.960 Yeah, and you don't have a big family and you 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.320 don't have anyone to go to. Let's say you're spending 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:14.400 the holidays alone. Social media is, in my opinion, toxic 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:15.520 because you see. 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:16.600 What you're missing out on. 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.120 You see all the big families, you see all the 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.520 all the presents under the tree, and it will get 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:25.160 you depressed. I totally co sign on the spoiling yourself, 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.720 even if it is just reading a book or binging 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.480 a show for ten hours. When can you sit at 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.160 home and binge a show for ten hours? 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.320 That's what I mean. So try to sink into like, 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:36.640 oh my gosh, we're going into a break. This is 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:40.120 going I am solely focusing on myself. I'm gonna try 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:44.240 this recipe. I'm gonna turn on I'm gonna binge watch Girls. Hello, 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:48.400 you have to be okay with two seasons ten episodes each. Yeah, 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.560 I'm gonna watch Christmas Vacation. I'm gonna make a homemade 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:52.720 bath scrub. 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:53.280 Yeah. 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.240 There's so many things that you can just like hunker 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.720 down and try to enjoy being with you. 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.960 Yeah, journal, make your goal if you're into that sort 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.040 of thing, make your goal list for twenty twenty four 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:06.600 things that will uplift you and make you happy. 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:10.280 Go on a nice walk. I mean, I love being alone, 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:11.160 so this is hard. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:12.480 For me, but that's what I mean. I do too. 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.120 When my mom and Easton went and left and I 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.120 was childless as well, I was like, I had friends 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.120 that were like, let's go out, and I'm like, when 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:22.320 I have the whole house, do I say, are you tripping? 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:27.080 I'm masturbating twenty seven times from that masturbating all masturbate. 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:30.720 Yes, Play with a few toys. Figure out what you like. 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:32.840 Maybe it's a new year, New year, new you. 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.680 Maybe like I hope it helped. It sounds awesome. I 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.320 want to go be alone right now. I love you. 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:43.000 That sounds awesome. Light a candle, get in the tub 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:46.480 and play with yourself and before you know it, you're 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:49.400 back at work. It's very time consuming. 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:54.120 Okay, spoil yourself. Oh this is a good one. 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:58.280 Pressure from family to be places and buy gifts. 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.880 Even my grandparents expect gifts with like. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.280 A oh my, you know what I would tell them. 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:06.600 You know what, Graham, You've lost the spirit of Christmas, 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.159 and in lieu of a gift, I've made a donation 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.200 to the Humane Society in your name. They'll really start 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.000 hating gifts after that. Yes, we're not doing gifts anymore. 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:19.719 Okay, perfect, make them something homemade, they'll stop asking. 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.080 Make them a card, they'll stop asking for gifts. 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:22.320 No. 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.120 But really, I think anyone who's putting pressure on you, 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.120 I think you have to be completely honest. Say it's 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:31.399 the holiday. Maybe you've lost sight about what with what 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:34.679 the holidays are about. They're very much about being with family, 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:37.160 but it's also about enjoying yourself and taking a load off. 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:39.480 So I will not be there. Also, I'm feeling a 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.800 lot of pressure with getting you a gift. Give them 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.000 a card that says you've made a donation in their honor. 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:46.040 Yeah. 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.760 And also if you don't have the money, or if 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:51.560 you're struggling, or if you're really saving or pinching pennies, 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:55.840 just being upfront and honest about that, and if anyone 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.680 wants to give you shit about it, if you say, hey, 0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:01.240 this year's been financially maybe I'm really budgeting, so I'm 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.520 not buying gifts, but I'll give you my time or 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:04.320 ten minutes. 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:04.800 To grab it. 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:08.040 It's like present, give me yes, So I'm giving you 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:10.640 the best gift of all, which is spending time with. 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.440 Me, or zoom with them if you can't be with them, 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.040 or a four to flight home zoom with Say, I'm 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:17.520 going to zoom with you and we'll share a little 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:20.880 cocktail or non alcoholic beverage over zoom and cheers. 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:22.720 Make it cute. And if anyone wants to give you 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:23.800 shit about that, then. 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.240 That's the other thing. When someone has an issue, let 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:31.040 it just be their issue, you know, don't. 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:32.320 Let them put it on you. 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:35.720 Now, that's what I and everybody who has an issue 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.240 just shut up. It's not their issue, it's yours. 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.199 Eat it. There's so many issues that happen without it 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.000 being the holidays. Don't bring the issue into the holidays. 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:46.159 If there's one thing I love about the holidays, it 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:51.240 is that with my family there is no pressure. That's 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:53.800 a zero. And maybe it's because we don't have a 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.320 big family, but it's like, this is where we're going 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.680 to be. The more, the merrier. This is what we're 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.920 having for dinner. If you like to come, we're here. 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.800 If you don't want to that's great too. We totally understand. 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.960 But yeah, I love that about my family too. It's 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:11.400 no pressure, no pressure, no pressure at all. 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.000 Send a group chat, in a group chat, just like 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.640 I refuse to have pressure this year. I'm so excited 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.840 for the holiday. I hope that during this time we 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.400 can remember what's important. And this is what I'll be doing. 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:26.160 And I love you all so so much, and I'll 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:27.920 see you in the new year. Yeah, can't wait. 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:29.200 Bye bye. 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:34.440