Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.
Speaker 2: Welcome you guys to another episode of Horrid BLEA. This
Speaker 2: is young Baby, I'm your girl. Maybe b aka dat bitch.
Speaker 1: I'm weazy.
Speaker 3: And if you're watching the YouTube, Angela Davis, oh jesus,
Speaker 3: she's not Angela Davis. Bro My nigga woke up and
Speaker 3: saw me this morn. He said, I really feel like
Speaker 3: I'm dating a black girl. Now he don't feel like
Speaker 3: he dated a black girl.
Speaker 1: The braids got the little boho you know, it's still straight.
Speaker 1: People be looking at me like I'm commnicate. They're not
Speaker 1: confused once they see these.
Speaker 3: And I also want to say, it took me such
Speaker 3: a long time to love my hair because when I
Speaker 3: was growing up, I'm so light skinned that everybody was like,
Speaker 3: why don't you have curly hair, like you know.
Speaker 1: Mixed girls have that in Florida, That's how they come
Speaker 1: at you.
Speaker 3: And it was always making me feel so bad about
Speaker 3: how my hair looks. But then as the years go on,
Speaker 3: like I learned to love it. And yeah, honestly, the
Speaker 3: braids keeping it growing thicker. I haven't put shampoo in
Speaker 3: my hair in a year and a half. I only
Speaker 3: do what's called co washing, just conditioner. And the Dominicans
Speaker 3: take my grades out now and they be looking at
Speaker 3: me like what bitch.
Speaker 1: I would say, Like our like.
Speaker 2: Experience with our hair journeys are all so different, I know,
Speaker 2: like growing up me and me and my sister with
Speaker 2: the same daddy, we have similar curl patterns. But my
Speaker 2: youngest sister, she's Haitian and white and she has she
Speaker 2: has four sy kiky super tight curls. And when we
Speaker 2: were growing up, me and my sister wanted her hair,
Speaker 2: and she wanted our hair, so she constantly wanted her
Speaker 2: hair straightened or to be like ours, and we were like, bitch,
Speaker 2: we would killed for your hair.
Speaker 1: We wanted the thickness because the hair is the validation
Speaker 1: when you're mixed. To me, it's not well. And that's
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if it's because me and the
Speaker 2: sister closest to me weren't raised around any of our
Speaker 2: white family. Oh bitch, we wanted to be dark. We
Speaker 2: want to fake curly hair because we only hung around
Speaker 2: our cousins and shit like, we hated being the light
Speaker 2: girls where niggas would question if my cousin was my cousin,
Speaker 2: if my daddy was my daddy.
Speaker 1: So me and my sister, we only we wanted to be.
Speaker 2: We couldn't wait until the summertime when we became a
Speaker 2: motherfucking looking Brazilian shit.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because I loved our dark skin.
Speaker 3: I feel like when I say this, there's also this
Speaker 3: side of society where it's white women being like, I
Speaker 3: wish I was your color, and I never want to
Speaker 3: be that black girl. No, I never you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying, because they'd be doing that, like they'll say
Speaker 3: that to black women and it's super insulting. So sometimes
Speaker 3: I try to watch how someone else can be perceiving
Speaker 3: what I'm saying when I express that I want darker skin.
Speaker 3: I love myself so much more than I did when
Speaker 3: I was younger because that just was figuring out.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, just taking out my hair. Like the
Speaker 1: other night. Maybe I was taking it out on the plane. Girl.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you saying not.
Speaker 3: To be a niggle, but if I'm going to pay
Speaker 3: for a first class with the door, I'm hanging my
Speaker 3: hair out. No, I'm taking hair, oh okay, like I'm
Speaker 3: checking it out.
Speaker 1: Maybe putting the meals in in between, you know.
Speaker 3: So I flew from la to London for our London show,
Speaker 3: which was eleven and a half hours. On the way
Speaker 3: back it was eight and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 3: could get the shit out.
Speaker 1: So you know, they come in with the meals and
Speaker 1: shit and I'm like, hey, half.
Speaker 3: The hair out, half of his braids. Every time I
Speaker 3: go to the bathroom. People are looking to be like,
Speaker 3: what's the fun? Why does bitch keep looking different?
Speaker 1: Don't care?
Speaker 3: And there's no knives on the plane, so I need
Speaker 3: a little plastic knife to fucking get you know, this
Speaker 3: is about the knife.
Speaker 1: It wasn't enough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you need you need a little sharp no.
Speaker 3: But I had to really like get that shit. I
Speaker 3: think they thought I was trying to make a bomb.
Speaker 1: Now with taking your hair out, probably because the way
Speaker 1: I was like using shit. I will say I had
Speaker 1: a nail clipper.
Speaker 2: I was maybe not this you was making a bomb,
Speaker 2: but you could have hit some in your hair. Only
Speaker 2: because my very first international flight, I'm going I got
Speaker 2: fleued out by a nigga that was playing in Israel.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to Jerusalem to you know, I was
Speaker 2: a little nervous. I said, oh, maybe not be going
Speaker 2: to Jesus, but I fly tel Aviv. That's the airline
Speaker 2: I fly. Baby, I'm the only person who ain't wrapped up,
Speaker 2: if you know what I mean. So I'm in line.
Speaker 2: They pulled me to the side. This is for me
Speaker 2: to get my boarding pass. This isn't even TSA. I'm
Speaker 2: in the line to get our boarding pass. Tel Aviv
Speaker 2: comes and brings me to the side. The most embarrassing thing,
Speaker 2: and I might have talked about this on the podcast.
Speaker 2: I had a bun, but you know how we used
Speaker 2: to take that that that uh we hit the little
Speaker 2: weave ponytail and wrap that shit into a bun.
Speaker 1: Baby.
Speaker 2: They made me take out pin by pen my ponytail.
Speaker 2: So my little nub was like this because you know,
Speaker 2: I'm a little I have my little thing here. And
Speaker 2: then bitch made me take out my whole ponytail and
Speaker 2: carry it back.
Speaker 1: I put it back up.
Speaker 2: I had to still go get my fucking boarding past.
Speaker 2: And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This
Speaker 2: was my very first international flight, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I hate it.
Speaker 1: Your first time going overseas with Israel.
Speaker 2: For he was playing and uh, yeah, he was playing
Speaker 2: in j Rusalem. And then we did like a weekend
Speaker 2: trip to Tel Aviv.
Speaker 3: He was playing in Jerusalem. Jerusalem's only like he was
Speaker 3: playing in Jerusalem. Oh, that's crazy. They have a basketball
Speaker 3: Erusalem is in tel Aviv.
Speaker 1: By the way, well, bitch, it was part all knows.
Speaker 2: We went to the Tel Aviv park with the clubs, Like,
Speaker 2: there's Maccabi, that's the big basketball team over there.
Speaker 1: He played with a small team. Oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: By the way, while we were speaking about Israel, I
Speaker 3: mentioned this at the London Show.
Speaker 1: It's been a really weird time on the internet, in
Speaker 1: the news, and I.
Speaker 3: Feel like, and I just posted this today, I am
Speaker 3: so insulted at the amount of people that think just
Speaker 3: because I was really I'm not pro Palestine. But it
Speaker 3: also is making me think a lot about Hollywood and
Speaker 3: how many people I know and follow that just won't
Speaker 3: post anything. And one person that I know in Hollywood
Speaker 3: recently I kind of had a conversation with them.
Speaker 1: We were having dinner and we were talking about Palestine.
Speaker 3: He was like, Bro, this is the sickest shit I've
Speaker 3: ever seen in my life, Like in my of being alive.
Speaker 3: The things that we were turning a blind eyes to
Speaker 3: and I'm like, we why don't you talk about it?
Speaker 3: And he said, think about how many black people I employ.
Speaker 3: Are we all going to lose our jobs? Because I
Speaker 3: said something, I'm like, that's the way you think of this.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, then my question would be, this is
Speaker 2: the first time you're bringing it up here. What kept
Speaker 2: you from posting or talking about it publicly?
Speaker 3: For I do just not a horrible Okay, I've been
Speaker 3: posting about Palestine and shit like that, but now sometimes
Speaker 3: I'll just see stuff in horrible comments like or like
Speaker 3: on a.
Speaker 1: People really DM me more about it than anything.
Speaker 3: So that's probably why, because maybe they're just watching the show,
Speaker 3: but I post about it. But now I really feel
Speaker 3: like we're in a weird era of silencing. And I
Speaker 3: remember on the TS Madison episode, I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I kind of wish TikTok goes away because like, I'm
Speaker 3: tired of the Internet.
Speaker 1: But then I realized that's.
Speaker 3: The only why people say shit like this, like that
Speaker 3: dude that blew himself up or set himself on fire
Speaker 3: in front of the way like last words were free valistine, right,
Speaker 3: But no one's ever seen that on the news, and
Speaker 3: I don't know. As much as I hate how much
Speaker 3: social media has taken over, I have to like stop
Speaker 3: being vain about the things that I'm seeing and realize
Speaker 3: there really is a greater good. Like last night, I
Speaker 3: went to this place in New York called Medusa. It
Speaker 3: was my first time going. Oh, I ran into sad
Speaker 3: He's kidding, fucking shit was great. But me and my
Speaker 3: Nia get sitting down to the table of six people,
Speaker 3: some girls, some guys. When the food came out, everybody's like,
Speaker 3: don't eat and they all start videotaping. They all start flashing,
Speaker 3: and I'm looking at him and I'm like, bro, I
Speaker 3: hate this. I hate this era that we're in. How
Speaker 3: can you not eat? How can you not enjoy your friends?
Speaker 3: I even heard one girl said she hadn't seen then
Speaker 3: other one in three years. And all y'all have done
Speaker 3: was make content this whole time.
Speaker 2: I'm not super mad at it, because if y'all followed
Speaker 2: me on the ground, I'm bitch. I'm I'm taking pictures
Speaker 2: of my food now, like I want to try to
Speaker 2: create that content only because what it's done for me
Speaker 2: I appreciate. So when people constantly us up by the way,
Speaker 2: if y'all't stop sending me pickle recipes, bitch, I like picklebacks.
Speaker 1: That is it.
Speaker 2: Stop sending me fucking pickle dip. Somebody sent me fucking
Speaker 2: doctor Pepple with pickles in it the other day. I
Speaker 2: don't want everything with pickles. But to me, I have
Speaker 2: a six ingredient salad that I eat every week and
Speaker 2: I fucking love it. So to me, what I've gotten
Speaker 2: from social media, I don't mind giving it back. I
Speaker 2: think that that's why, like I love like you don't
Speaker 2: listen to podcasts, I listen to podcasts. I love people
Speaker 2: creating content, and I know so many people are making
Speaker 2: money off of it. I don't mind sharing it. It
Speaker 2: beats niggas hitting me when they come to New York
Speaker 2: and being like, can you tell me where I should
Speaker 2: go to eat or what sex clubs like? To me,
Speaker 2: if the information is out there, then it's out there,
Speaker 2: and I don't mind sharing it in that way.
Speaker 1: But I personally people.
Speaker 3: Just experiencing something in real life versus experiencing it because
Speaker 3: you're you want to film it.
Speaker 2: A lot of these people when I went my coll
Speaker 2: close friends, we take the least amount of content. To me,
Speaker 2: it's when you're in these spaces with people who may
Speaker 2: not be friends, people who you may not actually give
Speaker 2: a fuck about their livelihood, if they're doing well, if
Speaker 2: their job is paying well, if their family is good.
Speaker 2: Those are the people that you hang out with and
Speaker 2: you create.
Speaker 1: These these model I don't know people.
Speaker 3: I think it's I think that people are doing things
Speaker 3: to film it. I think people are experiencing restaurants, hotels,
Speaker 3: trips even like that are instagrammable more than they are
Speaker 3: worried about the memory they'll keep for themselves. Like, think
Speaker 3: about when we go to a concert, is anyone really
Speaker 3: watching it?
Speaker 1: Or are they looking at it through the screen? Nigga fireworks?
Speaker 3: There's always so many jokes about how trash they look
Speaker 3: on Instagram, but like, really, how many times can we
Speaker 3: like sit and enjoy the moment?
Speaker 1: And what does the holidays with fireworks? All I know
Speaker 1: is Memorial Day? Doesn't know, dude, does Memorial have fireworks too?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: I know maybe New there is depending on the city.
Speaker 2: Oh I know is maybe New Year's one. I was
Speaker 2: gonna say maybe the last five years all the holidays
Speaker 2: with fireworks.
Speaker 1: Bitch, I'll be too lit.
Speaker 2: I'll be passed out before the goddamn fireworks or especially
Speaker 2: Fourth of July. Baby, weeping, eating fucking Glizzies and drinking
Speaker 2: since twelve o'clock, I can skip you. You thought I
Speaker 2: was wait and we in like dogs freaking out. I
Speaker 2: den on daylight saving time where it's dark. It don't
Speaker 2: get dark until nine o'clock. Baby, I'm sleep by the
Speaker 2: time the sun go down. I can't see no fireworks.
Speaker 2: I'm sleepy. I'm gonna be up. These little two.
Speaker 3: Hot days in New York got me, honey, I'm just
Speaker 3: walking down the street with this was only I am
Speaker 3: so happy to be believe you were walking like in
Speaker 3: the soutfit.
Speaker 1: I didn't walk with the boots. Oh then it wasn't
Speaker 1: the outfit. Oh no, were the breakers. I was just
Speaker 1: it was just a little one beat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If you did this with the boots just too much.
Speaker 2: If you put the booths on, I was gonna be like, girl, it.
Speaker 1: Was price going. I walk outside me say, why are
Speaker 1: you love being a fucking horror? I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know something, I'm going to work. No, but on
Speaker 1: some real shit.
Speaker 3: I know that like people that live in cloth places,
Speaker 3: people anywhere around the world warm weather. Call it clothed place.
Speaker 3: Cold places, oh cold. But I know people that live
Speaker 3: in warm weather. Of course we all feel like this,
Speaker 3: but specifically when you're in a cold place and you
Speaker 3: get that heat. Bruh, we just act different. I never
Speaker 3: enjoyed the summer in Florida like this. It feels like
Speaker 3: in the ways summer. No, I know, I'm saying, I
Speaker 3: never really like cared about these months.
Speaker 1: Yea.
Speaker 3: I never felt like gotta be out tonight. I mean
Speaker 3: the rooftop, the ways that I'm planning, just like all
Speaker 3: of it. And honestly, I'm such a euro bitch in
Speaker 3: the summer that I almost want to chill out and
Speaker 3: just be in New York.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm taking the summer off id horror. I'm already
Speaker 2: setting up and letting it be known to the to
Speaker 2: the neglets on my line that I am open and
Speaker 2: available for travel.
Speaker 1: I do have.
Speaker 2: One that sounds like a real or you know what
Speaker 2: they tour day. Oh no, bitch, I'm letting them know
Speaker 2: I am gonna be off from about June fifteenth to
Speaker 2: about August.
Speaker 1: First.
Speaker 2: I have like, like I may be doing some recordings,
Speaker 2: but in terms of touring and constant travel. The only
Speaker 2: travel I will be doing is on some dick. Okay,
Speaker 2: so I'm ready. I got, I got maybe doing Trinidad.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to do Can, but Can would be for work,
Speaker 2: not for dick. But I am still trying to have
Speaker 2: a nigg of paper can. So I'm trying to I'm
Speaker 2: I'm back to Japan. Japan is gonna be in August,
Speaker 2: August or September. Japan's gonna be.
Speaker 1: Fall well, end of Sunday. Don't go in October because
Speaker 1: it was monsoon season.
Speaker 2: When I went, oh wait, now all the yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: looking for August and September.
Speaker 1: I went for Halloween because I was like, this will
Speaker 1: be a fun time to go. I was in tears.
Speaker 1: One day.
Speaker 3: I was on my on a bike. I was biking
Speaker 3: around Kyoto. It rained so much that I couldn't see.
Speaker 3: I couldn't hold my phone for the directions because it
Speaker 3: was so wet. It was I was stranded. They love
Speaker 3: some little Japanese ladies me in her house because I
Speaker 3: think she thought I was homeless.
Speaker 1: It was terrible. I came back crying in shambles. Also,
Speaker 1: what sucks about Google maps.
Speaker 3: Or anything when you're in a place where there's not
Speaker 3: alphabet or English lettering. When you're hearing the sign in
Speaker 3: the street it tells you to turn on. How fuck
Speaker 3: am I supposed to know what it is?
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Oh bitch, it was hard.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. That's my stress. I realized I
Speaker 2: like going too countries that speak English. But that's just
Speaker 2: my ignorance, American fucking ignorance I do.
Speaker 1: I do like countries that don't.
Speaker 3: But like, I just need the letter not me, So
Speaker 3: if I could, if I need to sound it out.
Speaker 3: This summer, I am getting rid of my apartment in
Speaker 3: LA and gonna be nomadic and just visit my parents. Well,
Speaker 3: my mom has to move too, so I'm thinking about this.
Speaker 3: Y'all tell me what you think I should do. I
Speaker 3: hope she just doesn't get back to her right now,
Speaker 3: I have two crips. My mom and I lived across
Speaker 3: the streets from each other. I'm like, damn, bro, that
Speaker 3: is a lot of money. Like, that's you got to
Speaker 3: moving huh, you got to move her in. I'm thinking
Speaker 3: about getting a crib for.
Speaker 1: All of us.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that I've been said that that's what you
Speaker 2: should have done in la. However, sometimes I get in
Speaker 2: the car.
Speaker 3: With my mom and it's only been six minutes and
Speaker 3: I already think I'm gonna kill her. So if I
Speaker 3: was in the same house as her, maybe a killer
Speaker 3: And I just want us to get along. And then
Speaker 3: my mom likes to do this thing whenever I visited
Speaker 3: her in Orlando, because I have a place in Orlando.
Speaker 3: But she'll just knock on the door after hearing me
Speaker 3: on the phone for a second. Let's just say I
Speaker 3: was yelling bel some come in. So were you talking
Speaker 3: about him or him?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I'm not trying to stress you out.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, who was it? I could talk about work.
Speaker 3: She'll come in and make a suggestion for me. Well,
Speaker 3: why aren't you guys gonna trure in the fall? Then
Speaker 3: if you're worried about travel dates and I'm like, yo,
Speaker 3: let me yet not shut off. Anyway, I'm considering it.
Speaker 3: I know that it's the adult thing to do. It's
Speaker 3: also making me think I should buy, but uh.
Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: But Anya, I'm gona get rid of my crib put everything
Speaker 3: is storage, and I'm gonna travel and just focus on
Speaker 3: new York. The only thing I have that's a hard Yes,
Speaker 3: it's Paris Fashion Week. I love partying out there during
Speaker 3: fashion week. I want to take my Buddha Puglia, like Tuscany.
Speaker 1: Area in Italy. I really love Italy and all Malfy
Speaker 1: coasts and stuff. And it's kind of cheap around Italy.
Speaker 3: Not the Capri and all those places, but like the
Speaker 3: small towns.
Speaker 1: I just kind of want to live cheap and ride
Speaker 1: bikes and drink wine. Yeah. When I said take by
Speaker 1: the way, I ain't mean trick. I just meant show
Speaker 1: him what I know.
Speaker 3: I realized, no, no, no, he doesn't have pocket, but
Speaker 3: we're gonna get it to the vanilla shit.
Speaker 1: I want to bring up something really quick. Uh.
Speaker 3: I want to give a shout out to risky dinner conversations.
Speaker 3: I've been doing these HIV awareness dinners. They are specifically
Speaker 3: to talk about black women rising HIV rates. No men
Speaker 3: are allowed to actually try to bring viney in one city,
Speaker 3: and they're like, this is just for black women because
Speaker 3: black women are the newest leading cases of HIV in
Speaker 3: the States. Specifically, we went to Houston in Dallas and
Speaker 3: this shape was crazy. The rates are so high for
Speaker 3: HIV and everybody's trying to figure out why. It's literally
Speaker 3: attributed to the fact that when abortion became illegal, women
Speaker 3: don't trust fucking health care clinics because what if they're
Speaker 3: pregnant and then you have toirpport this pregnancy, and what
Speaker 3: if the pregnancy is gone?
Speaker 1: So a lot of people aren't even going in there
Speaker 1: to get.
Speaker 2: Fucking tested anymore. I think what else is really good?
Speaker 2: And I have to I have to talk to her
Speaker 2: to get the exact name. But I was with Cinnamon
Speaker 2: Love in Atlanta and we were both talking. We're both
Speaker 2: looking to maybe document us both going to get on PREP.
Speaker 2: And there's a prep now that they are allowing for
Speaker 2: women to get. PREP was often very much denied to
Speaker 2: women and was only given to.
Speaker 1: It brought you up. You told me that they told
Speaker 1: you know about preperson Well that was years ago. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I remember that, but it was always okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was that was years ago ed still probably depending
Speaker 1: on where you go. No, that's not true. Gilliad Sciences
Speaker 1: is keep provides it. That's fine. I'm telling you. Maybe
Speaker 1: the health care provider.
Speaker 2: When I went for my checkup and requested PREP, it
Speaker 2: was not Also, this was uh. There's also been conversations
Speaker 2: with other women who have attempted to get it in
Speaker 2: the sex club space, as well as Cinnamon who's a
Speaker 2: sex worker, and she was not given it. However, there
Speaker 2: is now something where they are allowing people so whether
Speaker 2: the pharmaceutical says it can or cannot be given for
Speaker 2: a lot of healthcare practitioners, they were denying women access
Speaker 2: to getting that.
Speaker 1: Correct.
Speaker 3: However, there was nothing wrong ever women. I didn't say
Speaker 3: there was no, but I want to be clear about this.
Speaker 3: I was wanting to get health care providers were not
Speaker 3: giving women prep in fear that almost the so zimpic
Speaker 3: thing would happen.
Speaker 1: So they were so.
Speaker 3: Worried about women getting on prep, and they're not being
Speaker 3: enough available to gay men or whoever they would assume
Speaker 3: would get this HIV quicker than someone else. And so
Speaker 3: now because of these disparaging rates, now they're offering prep
Speaker 3: to women with your experience in particular, I remember it's
Speaker 3: all about advocating for yourself. When you're going to get
Speaker 3: a wellness exam or a PAP. Very few times are
Speaker 3: they offering HIV tests. You have to advocate for yourself.
Speaker 3: I only know about my fried raids because I had
Speaker 3: to ask for an ultrasound over and over, which they
Speaker 3: didn't even want to give to me because they were like, well,
Speaker 3: are you having issues?
Speaker 1: Are you not? It's just all about advocating.
Speaker 3: There's also another thing called doxy prep that I want
Speaker 3: everyone to look into that ever has a moment where
Speaker 3: you'd maybe not use a condom, and a condom break
Speaker 3: some shit happens. It's a pill that you can take
Speaker 3: after sex. I believe it's twenty four to forty eight
Speaker 3: hours and it lowers your chances by getting STDs by
Speaker 3: seventy two percent. Please look into this if you're not
Speaker 3: on prep or anything like that. Syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, most
Speaker 3: blood diseases, but seventy two percent.
Speaker 1: It lowers it by I literally so wand one of
Speaker 1: my homeboys about this was kind of a hoe.
Speaker 3: He was like, bro, like I have five packs of
Speaker 3: it in my bag now, Like I've literally given it
Speaker 3: to friends while on vacation, Like thank you. I had
Speaker 3: never even heard of this until those Risky dinners, but
Speaker 3: I wanted to bring this up because it is a
Speaker 3: group of women that started this from Orlando Koy and
Speaker 3: Chiana and basically are inviting influencers to a dinner just
Speaker 3: to document so that they can spread the word. And
Speaker 3: it's like no gimmick, and it's all because we're not
Speaker 3: talking about getting tested about HIV enough, so they're doing
Speaker 3: one in New Orleans. I might look for some horrehive influencers,
Speaker 3: but when I've learned how much these rates are going up. Now,
Speaker 3: someone close to me had just had three tests too positive,
Speaker 3: one undetected, so they're trying to figure out what's going on.
Speaker 3: And it's just like I never thought we'd be in
Speaker 3: the age where it would be amongst women like this.
Speaker 1: Oh I did. And it's an ignorant thing to say.
Speaker 2: But the way that no one uses condoms, uses them,
Speaker 2: advocates for them, wants to shame me for using them
Speaker 2: or liking condom dick for the fact that we as
Speaker 2: black women, and this is not to blame black women,
Speaker 2: but the fact that as black women, we still have
Speaker 2: yet to create a safe space for our brothers and
Speaker 2: black men to be where they want to be sexually.
Speaker 2: This does not surprise me at all. Like in terms
Speaker 2: of the DL and still the conversations around sex, they
Speaker 2: have not seen to progress over the years and with
Speaker 2: these with with social media, unfortunately, I feel like we
Speaker 2: backtrack quite a bit with the shaming of dating, the
Speaker 2: two the two hundred dollars date conversations, the.
Speaker 1: Fifty to fifty does a man really like you if
Speaker 1: he does this?
Speaker 2: And also, I mean we are at the same time opening.
Speaker 1: Conversations the world.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I feel like we are also opening
Speaker 2: the landscape within our own community to be open and
Speaker 2: fluid and non monogamous.
Speaker 3: To me, those are the safer communities. Like well, you
Speaker 3: don't want to shade to anybody that was at this dinner. However,
Speaker 3: twenty people at this dinner, I think two people hurt
Speaker 3: a prep mandy like that knew that they could take
Speaker 3: prep when or had like a test recently. When I
Speaker 3: tell you, and we know this from all of these
Speaker 3: years in a space, these hoes be getting tested.
Speaker 2: All So that's the no. The sex worker hos get tested.
Speaker 2: Let's be very clear.
Speaker 1: I think lifestyle people are more common about.
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of people that don't even identify
Speaker 2: as lifestyle. They're just not monogamous. So the way that
Speaker 2: men are not leaning forward into the truth or women
Speaker 2: because let's be very clear. I ain't gonna say who,
Speaker 2: but a lot of my friends that didn't been in relationships,
Speaker 2: they don't all cheated on their niggas. So where the conversation. Yes,
Speaker 2: about the sex workers. They are getting tested because they
Speaker 2: have to for work. A lot of people who are
Speaker 2: lifestyle or into casual sex, casual dating and lifestyle activities
Speaker 2: aren't necessarily getting tested at the rates that they should either.
Speaker 3: But I'm good at planned parenthood at least that are
Speaker 3: having more frequent partners. This is a statistic from New
Speaker 3: York State Plant Parentho. The people that are having sex
Speaker 3: with more people in twelve months spans are getting tested
Speaker 3: more frequently than the people that have had one partner
Speaker 3: or less.
Speaker 2: Right, and now one partner probably is cheating and bringing
Speaker 2: something back that point.
Speaker 3: Is that the people that are more promiscuits are probably
Speaker 3: getting tested more.
Speaker 1: I really truly do believe that.
Speaker 3: Okay, like I think that you could believe at so
Speaker 3: then I mean, okay, I mean.
Speaker 1: This isn't even agree to disagree.
Speaker 2: I would just say for you to be at an
Speaker 2: HIV awareness dinner and only two people knowing about PREP
Speaker 2: to me shows that there's still such a huge lack
Speaker 2: in sex education for things that could be preventive measures.
Speaker 3: I think that's the reacto that I'm trying to make
Speaker 3: up Andy. The HIV Dinner is created with black influencers,
Speaker 3: Black women mainly, most of them are heterosexual, and my
Speaker 3: point is none of these women are sex educators. All
Speaker 3: of these women just have a platform that they can
Speaker 3: share this on. When we're talking to people in the space,
Speaker 3: they generally have a better idea surrounding sex ed places
Speaker 3: to get tested. Their friends are just kind of a
Speaker 3: little more liberal and talking about this shit. These women
Speaker 3: that are quote unquot more normal every day, they're not
Speaker 3: talking about this shit. People who listen to Horrible are
Speaker 3: hearing some of these conversations for the first time.
Speaker 1: Like those girls.
Speaker 3: As disappointed as I was, it was I was flying
Speaker 3: to Atlanta actually for black effect. After that, I was like, yo,
Speaker 3: I have to be so happy that all of these
Speaker 3: girls have hundreds of thousand follows and they've just heard that.
Speaker 3: All of them were in shock at the race. All
Speaker 3: of them couldn't believe it. Even me, I couldn't believe,
Speaker 3: you know, sixty two percent. I think it's Harris County
Speaker 3: or whatever. But anyway, it's just like to know that
Speaker 3: the average person isn't hearing this, because where are you
Speaker 3: getting this info from? If all your friends are married
Speaker 3: or super chill or not going out too much, maybe
Speaker 3: they don't have as much of a sexually chromiscuous life,
Speaker 3: So y'all ain't talking about this shit, And then you
Speaker 3: probably fucking want nigga, but he probably ain't only fucking
Speaker 3: you not say niggas ain't shit like it is, literally
Speaker 3: women not taking advocacy over their own bodies.
Speaker 1: HIV is. There's no fault in getting it.
Speaker 3: The only fault you have is not getting tested, because
Speaker 3: if you can can't get on the meds, you're fucked.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like catching it early, being
Speaker 1: sure you don't pass it down when you want to
Speaker 1: have kids.
Speaker 3: Like I just really have been disappointed with even the
Speaker 3: sex said conversations I've been having, Like I only have
Speaker 3: it on horrible passing it on to my homegirls when
Speaker 3: I'm on the phone, even when we have an episode
Speaker 3: where we're like, damn and we learned something new. Am
Speaker 3: I taking it outside of this fucking room? And I
Speaker 3: just think we all have to start doing this in
Speaker 3: our own house and with our kids. And also I
Speaker 3: just got tested. I'm gonna try to get tested on
Speaker 3: camera every quarter now.
Speaker 1: I like that. Unless something goes wrong, then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like no.
Speaker 2: And if you guys, I want to hear more of
Speaker 2: these conversations, check out periods. This it's very heavily leaning
Speaker 2: into the disparities within the healthcare community and kind of
Speaker 2: what we experience as black and brown and underserved communities,
Speaker 2: and so these conversations are very important to me.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, make sure you check out periods. This
Speaker 1: season two is back, and.
Speaker 2: Y'all know I'm trying to make a goddamn tune to
Speaker 2: literally make these more prevalent. And you know conversations that
Speaker 2: are having. Now you brought it up, so we're gonna
Speaker 2: bring it up in the vanilla shit. Now, this was
Speaker 2: recently brought up in a wrap beef. But y'all male
Speaker 2: ozimpic users, now I get it. Some of y'all want
Speaker 2: to add some of y'all want to have yo sumba
Speaker 2: bodies ready, so y'all tout the pen. However, there's a
Speaker 2: report of an awful sexual side effect, and it's saying
Speaker 2: say goodbye to sex ozipic has been linked to a
Speaker 2: host of unfortunate side effects, from personality changes to weight
Speaker 2: gain after getting off the medic medication. Now, however, male
Speaker 2: users of the ever popular weight loss remedy are claiming
Speaker 2: to suffer from what could be the most mortifying symptom
Speaker 2: yet a rectile dysfunction, as were baled by multiple posts
Speaker 2: blowing up on Reddit.
Speaker 3: I did want to add to this any more, hose
Speaker 3: and not being able to suck them as nuts?
Speaker 1: Crazy? What is Ross doing? What is the what is
Speaker 1: the purpose of it? Yeah? But to me, if you
Speaker 1: fuck Rick Ross is because you like big niggas.
Speaker 2: Like no, I'm saying, child aspection, you can't fuck Oh
Speaker 2: but oh yeah, but I don't know. I ain't gonna
Speaker 2: say what I was about to say. I ain't gonna
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna go Okay, we all know I pe
Speaker 2: will say what I'm about to say. But that is
Speaker 2: actually what's been happening to mail users.
Speaker 1: Women know.
Speaker 2: No, I was gonna say. The opposite has been shown
Speaker 2: for women. So women on social media who have been
Speaker 2: using ozempic are actually reporting that they're becoming pregnant easier.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the fact that it's counterbalancing
Speaker 2: their birth control or as much as the way we've
Speaker 2: talked about Plan B not really working once you're above
Speaker 2: a certain weight. The same works for pregnancy. So if
Speaker 2: you are trying to conceive with your partner and your
Speaker 2: can considered obese, one of the things your doctor will
Speaker 2: probably tell you is to lose weight, because obesity is
Speaker 2: one of the things that can keep you from getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: So it could just be with the fact that they're
Speaker 1: losing weight, but it's.
Speaker 3: Women on birth control though. That's that's one of the
Speaker 3: things that they're saying about zoom.
Speaker 2: Yeah while they were taking and it does say following
Speaker 2: obesity can raise the risk of heart disease and may
Speaker 2: be linked to diabetes and cancer, and for women, it
Speaker 2: could also impact fertility.
Speaker 3: I'm alos getting pressant with the parts control. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: tell you right now, if I got pregnant, I'm about
Speaker 3: to start the patch. I've just had too many months
Speaker 3: of being scared, like literally every month it's like this,
Speaker 3: and I don't know, I can't kind of.
Speaker 1: Dick y'all be asking, oh my god, but don't it
Speaker 1: feel better?
Speaker 3: Wrong, nigga, it feel better knowing that my period gonna
Speaker 3: come on when it says it's gonna come on. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you didn't do that when you had a boyfriend,
Speaker 3: did you. There was another reason why I didn't have
Speaker 3: to worry about that. Oh okay, I mean but the
Speaker 3: thing I didn't have to worry about that with my ex.
Speaker 3: But I ain't gonna hold you like moving forward, like
Speaker 3: whether I'm even with somebody or not. Like I'm very
Speaker 3: adamant that I do not want birth control and I
Speaker 3: won't get on it, and I don't want a baby,
Speaker 3: so I would like to talk about him getting snipped,
Speaker 3: and I would love a nigga who's already snipped, Like
Speaker 3: that's my goal. Like if you have enough kids, my conversation.
Speaker 2: You haven't enough, because like one of the guys I'm
Speaker 2: talking to is poor kids, and I'm fine with him
Speaker 2: having four kids. If you don't want any more, because
Speaker 2: you're happy with that and I'm happy with it, that
Speaker 2: would be my conversation before just fucking wrong, Like and
Speaker 2: I'm not getting on birth control.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think in my situation, like we want kids
Speaker 3: honestly two or three years bitch. My mom literally said
Speaker 3: to him the other day, like don't get her pregnant
Speaker 3: before the book tour. I didn't get her pregnant before
Speaker 3: the book tour, and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, y'all want me to be Ali won't.
Speaker 3: But anyway, basically, I was just like, yo, I really
Speaker 3: want to get on birth control. He's like, no, let's
Speaker 3: just check your basil type andture like please, Like, bitch.
Speaker 2: Why doesn't he want you on birth control? Because as
Speaker 2: I've never heard, oh, okay.
Speaker 3: Most men be like, you want the pill, the shot,
Speaker 3: not pig know that's not the you know, the greatest.
Speaker 3: But I will say this, considering I'm trying to shrink
Speaker 3: my fibroids, it's seeming like birth control could possibly be
Speaker 3: a good option for getting my hormones in check. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I've been on birth control in the years, maybe ten years.
Speaker 3: Like I was on the Depot shot and I got
Speaker 3: really fat. So I'm scared because me with weight on
Speaker 3: a bottle, I literally hot.
Speaker 2: I literally just had to ask if not in the
Speaker 2: depot shot is even still around? It is like, I
Speaker 2: none of my friends have I heard like are on depot.
Speaker 2: I don't even hear it talked about it anymore. But
Speaker 2: I got on the shot thing I only took two shots.
Speaker 2: All I know is I didn't have a fucking period
Speaker 2: for a year, and then when that shit came back,
Speaker 2: I bled for like a month and a half.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is raggedy, this is super right.
Speaker 2: That's why you know, I finally am happy with my
Speaker 2: with my skin, with my weight, with everything. There's no
Speaker 2: way I'm gonna let just for the satisfaction of a
Speaker 2: nigga to bust up Emmy, for me to have to
Speaker 2: deal with that shit again, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, well, I don't really feel like that's the
Speaker 3: case for me, Like, no, that that was just for
Speaker 3: my That's why, Yeah, I don't. I think that a
Speaker 3: lot of people do think the pill is selfish for
Speaker 3: men's part, But like, you gotta have some autonomy over
Speaker 3: yourself if you know that, Like it may be super
Speaker 3: difficult for you to always grab a condom or the
Speaker 3: frequency of your sex. Like it's tough when you're when
Speaker 3: you're like in it all the time every day. I
Speaker 3: got the couples that live together, I told y'all, I
Speaker 3: don't know if it was on Patreon and one of
Speaker 3: them last motherfucking solos, Baby, I know what nigga.
Speaker 1: Niggas is coming over now, and I know I'm judged.
Speaker 2: I have condoms in my bookshelf in the kitchen and
Speaker 2: my bottom drawer in my luggage.
Speaker 1: That's where I felt, I know too for new niggas.
Speaker 2: Like so I'm casually dating, I'm only speaking from someone
Speaker 2: who's casually dating, who does not want to be on
Speaker 2: birth control, who also believes that none of these niggas
Speaker 2: does are wrong. Cooch, I can only speak from a
Speaker 2: single casual sex person right now because I'm not in
Speaker 2: a relationship speaking of the whole dirt for this week
Speaker 2: is about casual fucking hookups now, Like we talked about
Speaker 2: the condoms, and I would like to ask you Wolf
Speaker 2: back in your day, how you prepared for casual sex.
Speaker 2: This one comes from GQ magazine, and it's telling you
Speaker 2: to be prepared and not prepared with your pH not
Speaker 2: prepared with any of those things, but prepared with your place.
Speaker 2: If you're in the market for casual hookups, always operate
Speaker 2: under the assumption that you too will be heading back
Speaker 2: to your place at the end of the night, which
Speaker 2: is what I nigga.
Speaker 1: I will I will know if a nigga's coming over
Speaker 1: before the night.
Speaker 2: Start by if my house is presentable or not. Okay, period,
Speaker 2: it gotta be clean first.
Speaker 1: That's the metric. As the metric, I know.
Speaker 2: I might get some dick if my house is clean,
Speaker 2: like my cleaner just left, I'm going out. I may
Speaker 2: be able to have a nigga come over tonight. So
Speaker 2: even though you'll inevitably end up staying elsewhere from time
Speaker 2: to time, casualness is something that you should exude through
Speaker 2: your attitude, not your apartment's clonliness. So best to just
Speaker 2: be prepared. Own more than one towel, own at least
Speaker 2: as many pillows as sex participants, which is great. I
Speaker 2: ain't gonna hold you how many times Habituals in her
Speaker 2: twenties went over and Nigga had one limp ass pillow. Nigga,
Speaker 2: you better have at least two. And if you want
Speaker 2: a three someome, you need three pillows. The amenities don't
Speaker 2: need to be expensive or luxurious, because you're not opening
Speaker 2: a spa, but you should definitely want your guests to
Speaker 2: feel comfortable. Perhaps the most important thing to have on
Speaker 2: hand condoms. You're definitely going to need a stash of those.
Speaker 2: None of this hemming and hawing about how it feels
Speaker 2: better without one. If that's you, then do yourself a
Speaker 2: favor and buy some better ones. Buy seventeen different kinds
Speaker 2: so you can switch it up every night if you're
Speaker 2: having casual sex, if you're having casual sex, except that
Speaker 2: condoms will always be part of the equation.
Speaker 1: I wanted to add to this where one of.
Speaker 2: My casual partners's he maybe has too much casual sex.
Speaker 2: He has had extra toothbrushes for me every time I
Speaker 2: went to his house and he has been like, would
Speaker 2: you like some sweat pants? I have left with sweatpants
Speaker 2: and a T shirt each time that he has not
Speaker 2: asked for ever.
Speaker 1: Again. Yes, he's rich, his fun and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: I'm really walking around and he's tall as fun, six seven,
Speaker 1: six eighth. Let's just guess he has a deal with
Speaker 1: whoever sweatpants are.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not gonna say what they had on them,
Speaker 2: because maybe that is possible that is the case.
Speaker 1: But no, they were both different.
Speaker 3: One was clear, the other had that word he's six
Speaker 3: seven and that's tall or whatever he paying anymore, well
Speaker 3: he gave.
Speaker 2: I've been there twice and he's given me clothes to
Speaker 2: leave with and he is giving a movie and he
Speaker 2: has given me twoth brushes. There is a movie where
Speaker 2: this bitch opened up and he had all of that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, there's a movie where he gave her
Speaker 1: like a to go back.
Speaker 2: Yeah closed, yeah, it was that. It was with some
Speaker 2: white people. It was with white people, and he said
Speaker 2: thank you for coming over, and he gave her the
Speaker 2: bag to go.
Speaker 3: Honestly though, with the tooth brushes, I do have a
Speaker 3: pack of twenty.
Speaker 1: I'm one of those people that changes every week. Yeah
Speaker 1: I can't, and I have a lot of friends that
Speaker 1: come over and leave it.
Speaker 3: Also, like pro tip if you want to be a
Speaker 3: little social justice wory like me, it works for two things.
Speaker 3: Every time I leave a hotel, I always order a
Speaker 3: bunch of toothbrushes up to the room, a bunch of
Speaker 3: soaps and stuff like that, and I give it away
Speaker 3: to homeless people. But I also keep the toothbrushes fro
Speaker 3: when people come over, and like, I think the best
Speaker 3: things to have in your home to make someone feel cozy,
Speaker 3: especially men listening good sheets. Girls definitely want to feel
Speaker 3: cozy in your home.
Speaker 2: And make it their bad, probably because they don't want
Speaker 2: bitches to get too comfortable.
Speaker 3: No, niggas, just don't be thinking about niggas. Don't give
Speaker 3: a fuck about danotype is. Go on to Target and
Speaker 3: be like queen sheets thirty two or forty two. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna go with thirty two, you know, like thirty two dollars.
Speaker 3: So I think you've got to have some good sheets,
Speaker 3: some nice candles in your home to kind of set
Speaker 3: the tone for sure. Don't make the space junkie, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. I think, like when it comes
Speaker 3: to cleanliness for men and sometimes just leaving it all
Speaker 3: over the place, or have good closet that you could stash.
Speaker 3: I would say toothbrushes. I don't wipes now, you don't have.
Speaker 1: To get makeup wipes.
Speaker 3: If you don't want to look like a true ho,
Speaker 3: you just have to get at least a little Huggies,
Speaker 3: like some booty wipe so that she could take her
Speaker 3: makeup off and keep your cleating sheets for.
Speaker 1: The make I mean, if I'm at someone's house like
Speaker 1: my house, no extra, Yeah, my.
Speaker 2: Makeup coming on your pillow cases, you better wash them,
Speaker 2: bitches for real. You don't see your makeup off with Huggies. No,
Speaker 2: I'd rather sleep with my makeup. Oh, I'm sleeping with
Speaker 2: my makeup on and it's getting all over your your
Speaker 2: your your dick, your stomach, your sheet, your pillowcases.
Speaker 3: My makeup doesn't look good on my face in the morning.
Speaker 3: I'd rather just take it off when you see that,
Speaker 3: not with no huggies though you don't see you nigga.
Speaker 3: Having wipes is a little too prepared, though, because you
Speaker 3: should have like to take off makeup.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. No, that's why I said it
Speaker 1: has to be.
Speaker 2: I'm not using a booty wipe on my face because
Speaker 2: the booty wipe not going on my face.
Speaker 1: It's not made for the face. I've used my face
Speaker 1: for sure. Oh yeah, no, baby, Like I said, I
Speaker 1: got skin right.
Speaker 2: If I'm finna put booty wipes on my face, I
Speaker 2: may as well get birth control. Like, I don't feel
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna be able to control my skill with
Speaker 2: the booty whites to the face.
Speaker 1: Wait, maybe have a cue cover smell.
Speaker 2: I definitely don't want nothing since it on my face. Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't do nothing with sense.
Speaker 1: Oh oh I'm there. I just learned, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I just learned my little facial routine.
Speaker 3: Baby, I think, what do you think the best things
Speaker 3: you've found in a nigga's house where like the most
Speaker 3: comfortable you've been.
Speaker 1: What was their house like.
Speaker 2: Rich big where I was like, oh, I want to
Speaker 2: live here, Like that's it like to me?
Speaker 1: Like a really nice clean house.
Speaker 2: Like to me, the cleanliness, especially for men who live
Speaker 2: by themselves, is important to me.
Speaker 1: It's funny because.
Speaker 2: I just came across like this, this skit that this
Speaker 2: guy said, I I want a nigga's house to be
Speaker 2: so clean and so nice. I'm looking under the rug
Speaker 2: asking where is she? Where the bitch at Where the
Speaker 2: bitch that designed this shit she in the closet?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You live here with a bitch, dude. I want nigga's
Speaker 2: house that looked like it got to touch a bitch.
Speaker 2: That's what I want.
Speaker 1: You many niggas with the plants now.
Speaker 2: Be like I need I need to I need to
Speaker 2: touch a bitch and I needed to smell good.
Speaker 1: I mean in terms of like all of.
Speaker 2: The necessities after a one night stand or just a
Speaker 2: night out and having fun.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 2: To me, when I'm provided with the toothbrush and the
Speaker 2: sweatpants and the T shirt and the ride home or
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, you did this a lot. Okay, but
Speaker 2: it was fun what I do. In the back of
Speaker 2: my head, I'm like, I'm judging you because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: you got a routine, Nicks.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Udge, I don't judge, not loud, but I know you
Speaker 2: got a routine. The same way when niggas see I
Speaker 2: got condoms stored in every inch of my house.
Speaker 1: You I know that. I know in the back of
Speaker 1: your head, like damn, at least I know she got them.
Speaker 3: But also so like the other thing too. When actually
Speaker 3: one of my homeboys said it recently. Uh, I was
Speaker 3: in La I think I had a house guest or something,
Speaker 3: whatever it was. I was just like, bro, I don't
Speaker 3: feel like going home. He's like, go to my crib.
Speaker 3: I have a door code. He was like, just just
Speaker 3: go in, like you're in the area anyway. I was
Speaker 3: in Santa Mona, CoA.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, no, I'm good.
Speaker 3: He's like, no, no, no, I want you to see why
Speaker 3: these holes can't leave my crib. My shit cozy as fuck, nigga,
Speaker 3: go look when inside his crib, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I walk in The first thing I noticed in the
Speaker 3: his living rooms on the front and he's got the
Speaker 3: Marshall speaker like a little hotel. The blankets were cozy
Speaker 3: and heavy and the L shaped sectional so you could
Speaker 3: lay lay up together in the fridge. He had to
Speaker 3: right shit, and I was like, oh, you literally are
Speaker 3: catering your home for people. Like when you know how
Speaker 3: to host, that's what makes a great time. Making sure
Speaker 3: you can practice for your friends. It'll be the same.
Speaker 3: Like I'm telling you, my man never want to leave
Speaker 3: my house. That nigga really be coming over like what
Speaker 3: we gonna eat? Like you know, it's really because I
Speaker 3: know I'm setting the vibe and I do the same
Speaker 3: when friends come over.
Speaker 2: So fellas you get that ship down. I got I
Speaker 2: gotta chill with my hosting. I gotta make sure I
Speaker 2: was well. I wasn't prepared the last time this nigga
Speaker 2: came over. So I'm dating someone who doesn't drink and
Speaker 2: dating someone and fucking him who drinks a lot.
Speaker 1: And so when he comes over, what's dight drinking?
Speaker 2: Oh bitch, all I know is, ladies, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 2: you how to be prepared. Make sure you have the
Speaker 2: cheap version of a bottle if you had the expensive shits, because, bitch,
Speaker 2: the fact that we had to get to where we
Speaker 2: killed a bottle of nineteen forty two nigga, this was
Speaker 2: for like yourself.
Speaker 3: Well it was halfway we killed it, oh bitch and died.
Speaker 3: If it was half a bottle, that's not bad.
Speaker 2: It's just me and him, mind you. This was after
Speaker 2: we already had we killed the rest. I only had
Speaker 2: like this much Tito's left, so I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: well we can't go brown bitch. And I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna hold you next time.
Speaker 1: He come. I got the malageral sitting up there. You
Speaker 1: ain't killing my nineteen man.
Speaker 3: He said that the nigga sent me six bottles, and
Speaker 3: I don't know, someone must have randomly. I don't know
Speaker 3: if you've ever gotten this, Like you're just part of
Speaker 3: like a seating package. You're like, why do I keep
Speaker 3: getting suff from these people? I got six bottles in
Speaker 3: the lagress, and I said to myself, they must be
Speaker 3: having a hard time.
Speaker 1: Well you said this.
Speaker 2: What's crazy is it kind of looked like the Knight
Speaker 2: tea forty two bottle.
Speaker 1: So it's long, it's tall as brown and skinny.
Speaker 2: So all I know is I was like, this nigga
Speaker 2: ain't coming over and killing another one of my expensive
Speaker 2: ass bottles.
Speaker 1: No more. Then my other nigga came over, So why
Speaker 1: don't you require him to bring a bottle.
Speaker 2: I mean, he could bring if he brings the nineteen
Speaker 2: forty two, we could kill the nineteen forty two. But
Speaker 2: I also have a bar, like I constantly bring people over.
Speaker 2: So then my other nigga came over not too long ago,
Speaker 2: and he's.
Speaker 1: Looking at the bar number one, two three where no.
Speaker 2: So this is one of my old niggas who just
Speaker 2: came in town. He flew here just to take me
Speaker 2: to lunch. But he met me at my house and
Speaker 2: then we went to go to lunch. And so when
Speaker 2: he came over, this is one of my old heads.
Speaker 2: He flew to take you to lunch for fuck, he
Speaker 2: flew to take me to lunch. Hit some Tito spell.
Speaker 2: We went and had acting and tea. He literally flew here,
Speaker 2: landed at eleven, left a seven.
Speaker 1: He killed it. It fun flew here for lunch.
Speaker 2: I'll say off air the tea you had to share
Speaker 2: because he's back on the roster. Anyways, So he came
Speaker 2: and literally he's he's what tea you got to share that?
Speaker 1: You can't say?
Speaker 3: It?
Speaker 2: Said, oh no, baby, he planned it like he planned,
Speaker 2: I want to come and take you to lunch, and
Speaker 2: then booked a fucking t rope to give me the tea.
Speaker 1: Oh bitch, we ate caviar.
Speaker 3: He couldn't taided on the phone. He probably could have,
Speaker 3: but he wanted to see my face. Bitch, I get
Speaker 3: these niggas. I get the niggas going. The nigga flew
Speaker 3: you to take me to lunch.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So he came, mind you. I feel so
Speaker 2: bad because I had to say sorry. He bought me
Speaker 2: one of those like three hundred dollars cocktail makers when
Speaker 2: I first moved into the apartment. Bitch, everything's still in
Speaker 2: the box. It's on my bar, but I have yet
Speaker 2: to use it, and so here go him. It's okay,
Speaker 2: I bought another bitch one and she uses it. Great, okay, Patty,
Speaker 2: But this is how we talk to each other, so
Speaker 2: it's whatever, We're good. She used it, Maybe I'll use
Speaker 2: it in my next apartment. So he's looking at my
Speaker 2: bar and he's letting me know he knows I'm fucking
Speaker 2: with hood niggas. And I said, I don't like the judgment.
Speaker 2: Why do you think I'm fucking with hood niggas? And
Speaker 2: he literally is like, where's the McAllen? Where's the He
Speaker 2: starts naming all like the highest scotches and whiskeys. I
Speaker 2: was like, nigga, I got Bourbon, I got I got
Speaker 2: bullet rye and I got Jack Daniels.
Speaker 1: That ain't no nah, And so literally he gave me
Speaker 1: the list.
Speaker 2: He was like, if you're gonna have gentlemen over of
Speaker 2: higher stature, you should maybe have some of this at
Speaker 2: your he said, but.
Speaker 1: I guess you won't be unless I come back for lunch.
Speaker 2: You know, it's okay, And then I made him take
Speaker 2: a shot. We killed our my costume eagles bottle. But yeah, anyways,
Speaker 2: those are my dating right now. I'm learning it's fun?
Speaker 1: Is it old? And I feel like the older I get,
Speaker 1: the more I'm like, oh, I'll.
Speaker 2: Turn out to what is old to us? Now we're
Speaker 2: in her thirties.
Speaker 3: What is considered old because he's I mean sorry older,
Speaker 3: like because the niggas like drinking, younges will drink cheap shit.
Speaker 3: My homegirls is not about to kill a fucking cheap
Speaker 3: ass bottle of nothing because they know we were gonna
Speaker 3: get sick the next.
Speaker 1: No, No, I don't have Aristotle in my fucking house.
Speaker 1: But I haven't.
Speaker 2: It's a look, we know, look those Aristotle Aristotle's like
Speaker 2: the ship that uh they poured you at.
Speaker 1: Like if you go to a college party, like a
Speaker 1: Pinnacle vodka.
Speaker 2: No, it's worth the Pinnacle. It's the cover is like
Speaker 2: red redis shit.
Speaker 1: Y'all have all drank dave.
Speaker 3: I know you know this one the worst liquor I
Speaker 3: would say mine was Pinnacle Coconut. I remember that hangover.
Speaker 3: I thought I was gonna die. They said that an
Speaker 3: ivy costs two fifty. I was broke at the time,
Speaker 3: so I couldn't have someone come over. I walked to
Speaker 3: an urgent care for the ivy. It wasn't enough, bitch,
Speaker 3: you know how I know it was bad. I didn't
Speaker 3: only throw up, I had diarrhea.
Speaker 1: Bitch, you ever been dog? It was coming out.
Speaker 2: I was definitely liquor poisoning from Pinnacle because I'm like,
Speaker 2: we all know Hennessy gonna make cream.
Speaker 1: It wasn't coconut, it was that whip cream.
Speaker 2: For the whip cream, because Hennessy gonna make you shit
Speaker 2: the next day for sure, Like Nigga, I don't even
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: Even smell Hennessy.
Speaker 2: Now, if y'all are over thirty, still giving Hennessy a
Speaker 2: try to get drunk and lit. Baby, I'll remember the
Speaker 2: heney dick I was getting. Don't want it, it's not good.
Speaker 2: And then that ship in the morning. Bro, You when
Speaker 2: you ship out that Hennessy, it's almost embarrassing, like, oh,
Speaker 2: a nigga was just inside of me and this is
Speaker 2: what's coming out.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, y'all remember the four logo feelings?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, bro, they came back. Hold on, I
Speaker 3: don't never ever tried this, but I tried this for
Speaker 3: the first time.
Speaker 1: I know if I brought it up.
Speaker 3: I went to Malta for DLT last year and we
Speaker 3: was hanging with these fucking crazy yarro hoes. They were
Speaker 3: black as were and the party is black. And this
Speaker 3: girl brought out the nicotine that you put in your cheek.
Speaker 3: Y'all ever seen this and it looks like powder. No,
Speaker 3: no one's ever heard something. It's called snuff.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: You basically put it in your lip and you just
Speaker 3: let us sit there right, and like they get fucked
Speaker 3: up like this.
Speaker 1: This was probably the worst I had ever felt.
Speaker 3: And this is something they all like get into, like
Speaker 3: in Europe because they don't really got shit else to do.
Speaker 1: And apparently young teenagers do it too. No they were black, but.
Speaker 3: Like even when we were in London just now was
Speaker 3: at Shortage House, I saw the black people doing it too.
Speaker 1: They put it right here in the cheek. Dog.
Speaker 3: When I tell you something, it felt like a four loco.
Speaker 3: I was spinning left right left, mind you, Me and
Speaker 3: my homeboy in a car, these four bitches.
Speaker 1: He's like, bro, I'm gonna throw up on them. I
Speaker 1: don't know what we're gonna do. I'm telling you the
Speaker 1: cheap ways to get fucked up. I don't want it anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't want it. I'd rather drink Zephyr Hill's all
Speaker 1: night time.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie when I go to like the
Speaker 2: happy Hours and like the Taco Tuesdays and they have
Speaker 2: just tequila vodka and it's just tequila.
Speaker 1: They can't all like that. No, no, no, no, give me.
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is Tito's should be like it's you
Speaker 2: ever had a y It's migosh, no, it's good.
Speaker 1: Got no.
Speaker 2: I know when they be trying to tell me it's
Speaker 2: just as good as no bitch, then you wouldn't be
Speaker 2: selling it for four dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whatn't.
Speaker 3: I had a Jagermeister shot when I was in London.
Speaker 3: I thought it was Hennessy and there's.
Speaker 2: No way you how do you think Jaeger smells like
Speaker 2: like peppermint?
Speaker 3: Well, the trap niggas had Fantasy on the table and
Speaker 3: I know they just bought a bunch of shots for
Speaker 3: everybody to take, and I was like, is this the repertoire?
Speaker 1: I can't do it.
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you right now. I love to be
Speaker 3: a party girl, but I have my limits. I am
Speaker 3: getting older and I have limits. One of my limits
Speaker 3: is congestion in the club. I could be having the
Speaker 3: best time and I'm going to go. I don't care
Speaker 3: how fucking lit that I'm a piano is piano piano
Speaker 3: goes by out.
Speaker 2: I went to DC. They were drinking, they were we
Speaker 2: were in the VIP. They were drinking Hennessy. I said,
Speaker 2: absolutely not and then there was a bar and in
Speaker 2: the VIP hold on. The VIP didn't even have club soda.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not doing juice.
Speaker 1: Was it even via?
Speaker 2: This is what I'm saying, Like I wouldn't even do juice,
Speaker 2: as I'm saying. It was a makeshift bar in our area.
Speaker 2: I had to go to the actual place to get
Speaker 2: the gun.
Speaker 1: What are some of the good parties that you've been
Speaker 1: to recently? I can only name two?
Speaker 2: Oh see you party I go to like in my
Speaker 2: only like industry ship. That's where I have the most fun,
Speaker 2: Like I mean yeah, but I'll walk into people that
Speaker 2: can go out to the party, I mean album listening
Speaker 2: parties or like highlight room in LA But I do
Speaker 2: like what I'm going to one.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow going to industry parties. No, it's not even industry
Speaker 1: parties like that industry.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: And I went in London, which I've decided is my
Speaker 2: second and his favorite country in the world.
Speaker 1: But that's another conversation. I went though because thank you
Speaker 1: guys for coving to the show. My homegirl. My homegirl
Speaker 1: brought me. It's her there. But I personally don't really
Speaker 1: look to do those.
Speaker 2: To me, it's just even all the apt parties I
Speaker 2: did at dream Bill, Like, it's just like they tell
Speaker 2: me to pull up. I don't really like the themed
Speaker 2: parties who have to buy a ticket and then some
Speaker 2: of them don't have seats and chairs. It's funny Reazy
Speaker 2: I Reasy was hitting me because she was like, what
Speaker 2: party are you going to? And she brought up the
Speaker 2: party you went to, and I was like, yeah, but
Speaker 2: the way I party like right now, I still just
Speaker 2: want to a I want open bar. There has to
Speaker 2: be a place to sit, and I don't like ownsons,
Speaker 2: so to me, if there's osos, if there's not a
Speaker 2: section that I can sit in, or if I have
Speaker 2: to fight with the bar to get my drink, I
Speaker 2: don't want to go.
Speaker 1: I will give you all some really good wrecks in
Speaker 1: New York. It's like the party Listen, no Wheezy, she
Speaker 1: got you.
Speaker 3: Descendants is one of the best parties i've or eventually
Speaker 3: I hate blowing it up, but Descendants is a really
Speaker 3: good party. I think it's going to turn into something
Speaker 3: else sooner, so it might be over because it's that's
Speaker 3: how good it is. And every time I go, it's
Speaker 3: getting more full and like more packed or selling out faster.
Speaker 3: It's phenomenal in the sound system in Brooklyn that this
Speaker 3: place they do it that is great. Shout out to
Speaker 3: Medi who's the DJ there, sold out Jerk and Jaeloff
Speaker 3: Amazing party link up, y'all know I love him my
Speaker 3: way Andre Power Amazing party. He's an amazing DJ if
Speaker 3: you want to hear really good house music and just
Speaker 3: be around DJs that are unique.
Speaker 1: Fucking great.
Speaker 3: But the parties that have been out for years, and
Speaker 3: I won't say which ones them, shit's turning them. Shit's
Speaker 3: an't as good as they used to be because I
Speaker 3: think they've been spread out too much. But I love
Speaker 3: the layout. I consider that to be a party in
Speaker 3: New York that I plan to do. I will be
Speaker 3: at Fort Green this summer. I like a lot of
Speaker 3: the the piano people I went to in London was
Speaker 3: my first time. I've been want to go to the
Speaker 3: party for years. But yeah, like people are curating really
Speaker 3: dope vibes in spaces that I've wanted to chase or
Speaker 3: be in for a long time, and so those parties
Speaker 3: I name are definitely in for me. Obviously an exclusive
Speaker 3: party will be the best, but I do think you
Speaker 3: can definitely catch up vibes still at some of these
Speaker 3: ticket joints. I'm trying to kind of find my thing
Speaker 3: for that. In La I would recommend Black Market Flee.
Speaker 3: I think they do a phenomenal job. It's normally always
Speaker 3: the same weekend as Black on the Block. It's a
Speaker 3: daytime thing. But I love being in a party that's
Speaker 3: not crazy Rara. I actually don't like bottle popping culture,
Speaker 3: so that's probably why all of the parties I name
Speaker 3: I'm into. You may be able to get a table,
Speaker 3: but that ain't really the party. I even had to
Speaker 3: beg the Descendants people to give me a fucking table
Speaker 3: because I know that's not really the vibe day on,
Speaker 3: like going back to that original just like we came
Speaker 3: to dance type of vibe.
Speaker 1: And that's truly why I think people in New York
Speaker 1: love to lay out.
Speaker 3: If you've never heard of it or you don't live
Speaker 3: in New York, it's in Brooklyn at Fort Green Park,
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, and it's just a place where you
Speaker 3: vibe literally layout not even picnic vibes. You could definitely
Speaker 3: buy yourself a nutcracker, which if you've never heard of,
Speaker 3: you gotta come and get when this summer there's DJs,
Speaker 3: there's music, but I think it's just this original is
Speaker 3: a park.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't consider that they have do DJs. I mean
Speaker 1: there's a DJ, but.
Speaker 2: I don't I wouldn't consider that a party. So maybe
Speaker 2: that like we're defining that different.
Speaker 3: Maybe Soul Summit layout. I'm thinking Soul some it's a
Speaker 3: really good party. Is that what I'm thinking about?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: When the Soul Summit is at layout, that's when I
Speaker 3: actually have never been to the layout when they didn't
Speaker 3: have a DJ.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the layout juneteenth, I can't wait. There's nowhere niggas.
Speaker 2: They will have a DJ coming from Oklahoma City doing
Speaker 2: June teenth on the east And literally I bought the
Speaker 2: earliest flight I land at eleven just so I can
Speaker 2: make sure to make the layout this year, because I
Speaker 2: flew into the layout but got there at like seven
Speaker 2: o'clock last year, and that's like, you know, that's the
Speaker 2: end everybody going. And I think last year was the
Speaker 2: end of what's the hookah spot that closed down that
Speaker 2: everyone used to go to started with to.
Speaker 1: Be Damn, I really don't smoke puff.
Speaker 2: It started with to Be, but they closed down the
Speaker 2: house like a members only club. Anyways, before we get
Speaker 2: out of here, I do want to do one last
Speaker 2: home mail because we barely get to get to our
Speaker 2: home mail.
Speaker 3: And by the way, I brought that party shit up
Speaker 3: because that's where the niggas at.
Speaker 1: Don't go for my nigga, but the niggas be there.
Speaker 3: I'm telling y'all, these dating apps were circling aroundverybody's fucking everybody.
Speaker 3: Now go outside, meet him in the real world, and
Speaker 3: then you go meet them with the other three bitches
Speaker 3: they fucking in that same party. Hey, may the best
Speaker 3: one win hunger game. All right, here's the wholemail.
Speaker 2: If you have a homemail for us, please send it
Speaker 2: to Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. Hey, ladies, call
Speaker 2: me d I am forever grateful for finding Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 2: I've become much more confident in my sexuality over the
Speaker 2: last few years. It's refreshing to see black women own
Speaker 2: who they are. Let me tell you some shit I've
Speaker 2: tried since listened to y'all. I pegged a man, I
Speaker 2: ate some cooch, had two threesomes, and went to a
Speaker 2: ghetto ass sex story slash club.
Speaker 1: And here's the question.
Speaker 2: I've been seeing this man for a while, we've never
Speaker 2: met in person, so.
Speaker 1: Bitch, you ain't been seeing him. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you've been doing, but it ain't seeing him.
Speaker 2: I mean we've never met in person, but we have
Speaker 2: formed a solid bond over time we FaceTime.
Speaker 1: Okay, you see him on the screen and talk on
Speaker 1: the phone.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, he sent me money on multiple occasions. He's
Speaker 2: tried to send for me and come see me for
Speaker 2: a while. Now I put it off because sadly, I'm
Speaker 2: not one hundred percent physically attracted to him. He literally
Speaker 2: checks off every other box. He is also accepting of
Speaker 2: my sexual appetite. Do y'all need to be one hundred
Speaker 2: percent attracted to your significant other? Is medium ugly acceptable?
Speaker 1: Thanks? Deep?
Speaker 3: Well? According to Brionda, No, but I'll say this, I've
Speaker 3: dated medium ugly, but I was attracted to them, so
Speaker 3: I think I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Who thinks my man looked? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I am dating someone who's super conventionally handsome and fine.
Speaker 3: But if I wasn't and I found out it gonna
Speaker 3: be fine, I wouldn't care like I am. If I
Speaker 3: could be shallow, how I would if I could see
Speaker 3: who I want to see? Like, that's okay to me?
Speaker 3: Medium ugly is fine if you are attracted to them.
Speaker 3: If you are not attracted to the person you're dating,
Speaker 3: you shouldn't be dating.
Speaker 2: I agree with that to an extent and minded this
Speaker 2: is coming from the shallow person. To me, a chool
Speaker 2: depends on your age, depends what you want.
Speaker 1: If this man. And I'm only leaning into the fact that.
Speaker 2: You said he checks off every other box, but you
Speaker 2: also said he's medium ogg. You ain't saying he ugly.
Speaker 2: There's a difference there. So to me, there's something that
Speaker 2: you might find attractive in the least bit.
Speaker 1: I think that.
Speaker 2: At the same time, I would suggest you to see
Speaker 2: him because a pictures and videos sometimes do niggas no justice.
Speaker 2: I will tell you there are like one of the
Speaker 2: guys I'm dating now, I told him to his face
Speaker 2: way finer in person, Like his page is cute, but baby,
Speaker 2: in person, I want to eat him the fuck up.
Speaker 3: So could you tell him videos that he was good looking?
Speaker 3: Because videos are better to me than photo.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But to me, there there is something about an energy,
Speaker 2: a swag like I've been out with wait motherfuckers. Like
Speaker 2: one of my other niggas, Oh they all back. One
Speaker 2: of my other niggas is not even six feet tall. Baby,
Speaker 2: you can't tell me I don't like him and he
Speaker 2: not six seven will be together in the bedroom outside.
Speaker 2: I'm standing next to him like he is my tall
Speaker 2: king because he has that aura of him and I
Speaker 2: know the epussy real.
Speaker 1: That's the dating app problem. Sometimes I meet dudes and
Speaker 1: maybe a little doofy. Yeah, why he won't I agree?
Speaker 2: So to me, if you've been talking to this man
Speaker 2: and he checks off all these other things that actually
Speaker 2: are on your checklist, to me, I would give him
Speaker 2: the chance and opportunity to be with you in person.
Speaker 3: Check the vibes, check the temperature. Wait, I haven't met
Speaker 3: in person on the street. No, they haven't met Afari.
Speaker 3: That's a that's a good one.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, meet that nigga in person and then
Speaker 2: you can ast him out because he could be better
Speaker 2: looking in person than what you see him on FaceTime
Speaker 2: or his pictures.
Speaker 1: I also would say, don't kill too much time.
Speaker 3: I'm talking to anybody that is fucking listening or viewing
Speaker 3: this and has been dating someone online.
Speaker 1: The more time you take to not meet them. If
Speaker 1: it's a dub in person, it's almost like I wasted
Speaker 1: all my time and I could have been fucking up
Speaker 1: the last Yeah. Nah, bruh.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you're in a relationship with someone
Speaker 3: even when you're not in front of them, like somebody
Speaker 3: haven't met yet, because you're so addicted to chatting, it
Speaker 3: becomes so fun, it becomes a routine. You guys kind
Speaker 3: of get in this groove. Meet that nigga bro, not
Speaker 3: only meet him, I might. I want to add to
Speaker 3: it in terms of the casual dating. Be honest with
Speaker 3: what you want, Like I've been very clear that I.
Speaker 2: Am just now getting healed over a breakup and right
Speaker 2: now I want to enjoy having fun. I think I'm
Speaker 2: learning how to date in a place of confidence financially, physically, emotionally,
Speaker 2: mentally that I would like a relationship, but as of
Speaker 2: right now, I'm not. And if someone wants to take
Speaker 2: me off the market, they need to show the fuck
Speaker 2: up because I'm willing to have that.
Speaker 1: But I'm not willing to just be in limbo with
Speaker 1: a nigga.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have my fun If you're not consistent, I'm
Speaker 2: not consistent, and we're just gonna figure it out that way.
Speaker 3: Consistency feels like the only thing sometimes that will let
Speaker 3: you know someone's actually into you, at least for me,
Speaker 3: Like I know a lot of people say things like
Speaker 3: if you can't make time, they're not really into you.
Speaker 3: As long as someone's consistent and showing me that they're like,
Speaker 3: you know, that's enough. We've all been busy or we've
Speaker 3: all been overwhelmed with life, but like that is something.
Speaker 3: And I know it's getting harder and harder because dating
Speaker 3: is becoming so fucking difficult. And I think through writing
Speaker 3: this book, I realize, like, fuck, I have a chapter
Speaker 3: that I'm writing about Old Bay currently and so many
Speaker 3: embarrassing things I admit.
Speaker 1: I read it to my man today.
Speaker 3: He was like, I'm not trying to judge you, but like,
Speaker 3: I actually can't believe how much shit you put up with.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know, thirty percent of it
Speaker 3: is COVID and this other percent of it is I
Speaker 3: just thought I'll eat another nigga at some point, like,
Speaker 3: but you just don't realize it goes on this many years.
Speaker 3: And even one of the things I wrote about was like,
Speaker 3: when I caught him cheating the first time, I didn't
Speaker 3: tell him right, And then I wrote when I was writing,
Speaker 3: I said, I let two days go without telling him
Speaker 3: that I knew, and then I was like, oh, now
Speaker 3: I can't tell him because now I just held on
Speaker 3: this water.
Speaker 1: So how long is it gonna go on? Is this hard?
Speaker 1: Like to.
Speaker 2: Is it hard looking back and seeing what you accepted
Speaker 2: or looking back to see the partner you chose to
Speaker 2: be with for so long?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: I don't blame myself. It's a little embarrassing. It's not hard.
Speaker 3: It's embarrassing for the people that know you as someone strong.
Speaker 3: But I actually don't know if I was weak for
Speaker 3: what I did. I also wrote that I was using
Speaker 3: him for stability, not financially. I was kind of sad
Speaker 3: during COVID. I didn't you know, so I gave up
Speaker 3: my crib when I moved to Mexico to a friend.
Speaker 3: It was actual, so I couldn't just have this escape
Speaker 3: from him. I didn't want my parents to know I
Speaker 3: was going through it and move in with them in
Speaker 3: Orlando at the time, that's where they lived. I didn't
Speaker 3: want to go back to my old crib and I
Speaker 3: want to stay with friends. I was like, damn, I
Speaker 3: just gotta thug it. I also committed to this apartment
Speaker 3: in Mexico, with him too, right, So I'm like this
Speaker 3: is still my home too, So there was that other
Speaker 3: layer of like people think I'm just staying with him,
Speaker 3: but I'm like, I ain't leaving my shit, nigga tulum
Speaker 3: is lit.
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave. So it was kind of
Speaker 1: just like what am I gonna do?
Speaker 3: And yeah, I got my lick back, But it still
Speaker 3: was like I just stayed with him thinking I'd meet
Speaker 3: someone else while I was with him. That's sick, but
Speaker 3: that's what I would think about. And the other thing
Speaker 3: about it. He was a cheater, which made him which
Speaker 3: made me angry with him, but everything else about him
Speaker 3: was okay. We had a fun life. He had bread,
Speaker 3: so we were able to move around. And it's not
Speaker 3: like I was using him for the money. Keep in mind,
Speaker 3: I have money too, So when you have a counterpart
Speaker 3: that you could do things with during a time where
Speaker 3: the world is closed, we can grab this one hundred
Speaker 3: dollars flight to go to fucking Cartahana or whatever. Like
Speaker 3: how many people were able to do that a lot
Speaker 3: of people jobs were fucked. So I kind of think
Speaker 3: I liked that. And when I say I used him
Speaker 3: for stability, I used him to be the grounding thing.
Speaker 1: Horrible was off tour.
Speaker 3: We didn't never have black Effect deal yet I was
Speaker 3: still writing sex cells and figuring out what that would
Speaker 3: look like. Everything kind of felt flighty. And so now
Speaker 3: to be a little more secure in my independence, not
Speaker 3: again financially, but just like being dolo. I don't think
Speaker 3: I was ready to be alone during the pandemic. I
Speaker 3: was not ready to be by myself in a world
Speaker 3: where we already were isolated. So I think I just
Speaker 3: used him for the companionship, and in my brain, I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, he fucking some Hozho cares. But there
Speaker 3: is a lot of trauma that comes with cheating because
Speaker 3: I've realized so many partners were cheating. And it's tough
Speaker 3: because when we talk about nominogamy and it's something I
Speaker 3: enjoy and I've done healthy, I hate that people have
Speaker 3: taken advantage of it. But it's like niggas will take
Speaker 3: advantage of you when you argumentogamoust So where's where's the line?
Speaker 3: Like where can you keep blaming yourself? There's not many
Speaker 3: steps I could take to save my heart when it's
Speaker 3: on someone else's hands. So there's so much blaming that
Speaker 3: we do in breakups and I've fucking let that go. No,
Speaker 3: it's no one's fault, even you, bandy, when you're like, well,
Speaker 3: I went back to my X y Z times, like
Speaker 3: you could blame yourself for that, but.
Speaker 1: Y'are no, I'm not.
Speaker 2: I understand the demon monster that I was with because
Speaker 2: he was a narcissist and the powers in which they
Speaker 2: have for manipulation, Like there was a psychological pull that
Speaker 2: because the first bitch they called me woman to woman,
Speaker 2: don't hit me again this week wanting us to go
Speaker 2: like I guess she wants us to bond as trauma sisters,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, bitch, we already asked my sisters, my
Speaker 2: ex cheated on me with you. You chose to say
Speaker 2: after you called me, and now you're done with him,
Speaker 2: and now you want to I said, you don't get
Speaker 2: to bring me back to living what he was. I
Speaker 2: think the hardest thing about that relationship is the fact
Speaker 2: that despite how manipulative, how psychologically draining that relationship was,
Speaker 2: I really really am holding on to how great he
Speaker 2: made me feel in certain moments. So there's a chapter
Speaker 2: I'm working on for the book where and I just
Speaker 2: had to call the owner of the dungeon. We went
Speaker 2: to a dungeon together, and that chapter when I said
Speaker 2: I wanted it in the book, we were still together,
Speaker 2: and it was this you fork kind of twist on
Speaker 2: finally finding someone who makes me feel safe, who makes
Speaker 2: me feel seen as a back, as a black man. Well,
Speaker 2: we did things, like I shared about it on the pod.
Speaker 2: He did electro play with me, and I put him
Speaker 2: in a chastity belt. But that whole night was us
Speaker 2: trusting each other to do things that we both said
Speaker 2: we would never really want to do, but we would
Speaker 2: allow the other person and to do it because that's
Speaker 2: how that's how much we trusted each other. And so
Speaker 2: to now be revisiting this chapter on a night that
Speaker 2: was centered around trust and safety, to be reliving that
Speaker 2: night with a man who does not make me feel safe,
Speaker 2: who I do not trust, who betrayed me in every
Speaker 2: way possible, and who now I feel like genuinely manipulated
Speaker 2: me and all these other women that he's been like with,
Speaker 2: it's hard for me to really view this person and
Speaker 2: view those memories as real. Because I did feel so good.
Speaker 2: He made me feel good, He made me He was
Speaker 2: my peace and that's my thing. Like with these relationships,
Speaker 2: I have zero desire to just be with a nigga,
Speaker 2: to be with a nigga, I have zero desire to
Speaker 2: be with.
Speaker 1: A nigga, to lay with one.
Speaker 2: To me my peace, I would much rather be single,
Speaker 2: like and I know I probably shouldn't put that out
Speaker 2: in the universe, where yes, a relationship and a partner
Speaker 2: would be nice.
Speaker 1: I'm not lonely right now.
Speaker 2: Which is what I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 2: seek in relateationships like they don't want to feel alone.
Speaker 2: And my friends are so fucking heavily involved with my
Speaker 2: life and I love them so much and they're what
Speaker 2: brings happiness to me that I don't feel lonely. So
Speaker 2: now it's what we talked about in one of our
Speaker 2: previous solo episodes. It's okay. I know I yearned for intimacy,
Speaker 2: So if I can get those from niggas without having
Speaker 2: to deal with the fucking drama or the betrayal or
Speaker 2: a nigga fucking off on me or embarrassing me, I'm
Speaker 2: so cool with just where I'm at having these partners
Speaker 2: in my life. Like I said, the one that came back,
Speaker 2: that came up and just took me out to motherfucking lunch.
Speaker 2: I love those partnerships, but I'm really dealing in therapy
Speaker 2: right now reliving my sexual assaults, reliving all my relationships
Speaker 2: with men, with the fact that I only and have
Speaker 2: only been with black men. I have only been violated
Speaker 2: by black men, and I have never in my life
Speaker 2: felt safe with black men. So I'm currently you never
Speaker 2: feel safe.
Speaker 1: No, no, And I.
Speaker 2: Asked my mom that question on the phone. I said, Mom,
Speaker 2: what man has made you feel safe in your life?
Speaker 2: And maybe I'm sharing too much. The man that she
Speaker 2: said to me led her to od to where I
Speaker 2: almost lost her because of this man.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, the.
Speaker 2: Only nigga that made you say is the nigga that
Speaker 2: made you try to overdose? You got me fucked up.
Speaker 2: So I've literally been going through so much of my
Speaker 2: mom's trauma that she's now been opening to sharing me
Speaker 2: got She's now going to therapy. I've sat back and
Speaker 2: went through my sexual assaults in this chapter. They were
Speaker 2: black men. To where to where my sexual assault on
Speaker 2: the train I brought up in therapy where I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm over it. I was so upset that it was
Speaker 2: a black man that did that to me. Like, so, no,
Speaker 2: I don't have these experiences of violation with any other man.
Speaker 2: Mind you, my dad is black. Baby, really don't feel
Speaker 2: safe with that nigga. My mom needed more child support
Speaker 2: and he said, deuces, Oh you want more money? Yeah,
Speaker 2: fuck fuck the kids. When it came to my abortion,
Speaker 2: my dad said, that's your friend. So even my uncle
Speaker 2: just got deported because he chose to violate my cousin,
Speaker 2: like so many of the men in my life.
Speaker 1: Just I think that I think there hasn't been another.
Speaker 1: I will just say this.
Speaker 2: I don't good ben out there. By the way, I
Speaker 2: am not saying and I want to make that clear too.
Speaker 2: I'm friends. I have really good friendships with black men
Speaker 2: in my life, really strong connections. What I'm saying is
Speaker 2: from a familial space, family wise, and from a romantic
Speaker 2: space that safety, especially with my ex experiencing that to
Speaker 2: where I had finally felt safe and heard and seen
Speaker 2: and for that to be betrayed, and my sexual assaults
Speaker 2: and things like that. I'm navigating because at the end
Speaker 2: of the fucking day, I only see myself with a
Speaker 2: black man. I've never seen it clear. Told you, I
Speaker 2: don't like them krackers, never wanted to Cheico. Sorry, I
Speaker 2: only want a black man. So there's also forgiveness in
Speaker 2: probably so many black women who have that same experience
Speaker 2: that still.
Speaker 1: Only want a black man.
Speaker 2: And I'm willing to show up and see men, give
Speaker 2: them the chance, and continuously date and give myself to them.
Speaker 2: But I'm also working through the trauma that No, there's
Speaker 2: not one black man I feel that has made me
Speaker 2: feel fully safe or seen.
Speaker 3: I gotta be real with you, there are very few
Speaker 3: times in my life and in situations that we ever
Speaker 3: talked about on Horrible where I want to take grace
Speaker 3: out of it. None of my Latino homegirls have one
Speaker 3: close Asian homegirl white friends. All of them have problems
Speaker 3: with men.
Speaker 1: No, so wait, wait, wait, let me just get this.
Speaker 1: I just don't let me just go out with other
Speaker 1: colored men at all.
Speaker 3: I don't even think we realize that the patterns of
Speaker 3: behavior bat men have like we haven't been able to
Speaker 3: read the flags or see the signs because it's like
Speaker 3: it's a perpetual cycle. But what you're talking about, one
Speaker 3: of my friends hasn't been able to date black men.
Speaker 1: She started dating other types of men. Because of her trauma,
Speaker 1: and I'm like.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's not the answer, and that's why that's never
Speaker 2: been my answer. However, I'm in therapy really seeking because
Speaker 2: my experience in my whole life has only been with
Speaker 2: black men. I went to all black schools, I dated
Speaker 2: only black men. My father is black, my uncles are black.
Speaker 2: I don't even know my white side of my family.
Speaker 2: And as an adult, niggas who I laid down for
Speaker 2: in whatever capacity we're black.
Speaker 3: Maybe you should have sketched you a little Rihanna's X
Speaker 3: man situation.
Speaker 1: Get you a fine little bibie ting. I don't want
Speaker 1: to move. That's the thing. I want a black king.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to I'm joking, but I think I
Speaker 3: think that's something that could be fun in your dating life.
Speaker 3: I think if you opened yourself up to because for
Speaker 3: me probably actually a separate from white. I've never dated
Speaker 3: like a whigger because for me, it's like, why am
Speaker 3: I gonna do that?
Speaker 1: Like I'd rather thy lor RC white boy or whatever.
Speaker 1: But sometimes opening up to different cultures.
Speaker 3: It's interesting because my friends that are my closest friends
Speaker 3: that are in a different country live in France and
Speaker 3: all of the girls talk about men from different countries
Speaker 3: like they're different, even though they only date Black men,
Speaker 3: and they've all expressed different qualities about them, whether it
Speaker 3: be talking about africanmen who worship you or whatever, or
Speaker 3: Caribbean men that africanmen, things like that.
Speaker 1: So my point is, I think it would be cool
Speaker 1: still black men, I.
Speaker 3: Think it would be cool for you to date people
Speaker 3: from other places, and I think you might be able
Speaker 3: to maybe even enjoy because it almost feels like sometimes
Speaker 3: even in New York or whatever city, we're in a
Speaker 3: bubble of people that know each other. I think it
Speaker 3: could be fun for you, especially when you're traveling, maybe
Speaker 3: just opening yourself up to that, and if it's not
Speaker 3: black shit, it's just like something different. Like, I think
Speaker 3: it could really help your dating experiences. And truthfully, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, I had a whole diplomat and I'm impacting like anything.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just saying I'm trying.
Speaker 2: I've stepped out and I've dated. When I say black men,
Speaker 2: it's not that they're not from different countries. Like I've dated,
Speaker 2: Like I'll try to stay clear from Jamaicans, but I've
Speaker 2: dated Haitians, I've dated Jamaicans.
Speaker 1: I've dated Africans. To me, when I say black men is.
Speaker 2: The full diaspora of black men, I don't date all
Speaker 2: the same type of gas.
Speaker 1: They've all been different. They might look kind of alike,
Speaker 1: but they're all different. To me. I'm just in a
Speaker 1: space currently of healing.
Speaker 3: Just fuck one white guy that I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to fuck no cracking anyway, y'all ain't fucking none.
Speaker 1: Of y'all ain't naming white boys.
Speaker 2: You like no, Bro Jake j When I say Jake Jillenhall,
Speaker 2: that don't mean I'm finished.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't give uci. You wouldn't if you met him.
Speaker 2: And what about just giving Jake Jillahal couchie for you
Speaker 2: think I'm just gonna give a white man couchie for free.
Speaker 3: I think if you were having fun with him and
Speaker 3: you already think he's cute, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, I think he's an attractive He looked like he
Speaker 2: got a little twitch, like something's just cool about him.
Speaker 2: But I don't think I like no like me saying
Speaker 2: after that rote Tom Brady Jason Momoa that Jason Momoa
Speaker 2: can get it and he's still not white.
Speaker 1: I don't want to in you should get that. No
Speaker 1: I'm a real shit, I'm not joking. Uh.
Speaker 3: Tom Brady was looking finest fuck on that roast bitch.
Speaker 3: I don't know what bowtocks they put or what fat
Speaker 3: from his own ass man.
Speaker 1: That man was fine, And then me think, should I
Speaker 1: start looking for sugar Daddy's being for fun? But I don't.
Speaker 1: Don't none of them look like that. They all look
Speaker 1: like they're old and should belong in a nursing home.
Speaker 1: The y'all look like Bill Belichick. Yeah, that's what they
Speaker 1: look like, whoys the way I talk to our price.
Speaker 2: Well, guys, thank y'all for tuning in to another episode
Speaker 2: of Horrible Decisions. If you want to hear more, get
Speaker 2: more solo content like this, make sure you head on
Speaker 2: over to our patreon. That's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions,
Speaker 2: a lot of cool stuff and if you are a
Speaker 2: part of any of our top tiers, you can join
Speaker 2: us once a month for our town Hall where we
Speaker 2: do a zoom, we do a whole episode. Y'all get
Speaker 2: to join in here to tea. It's crazy, so join
Speaker 2: us again. That's Patreon dot com back slash Poor Decisions,
Speaker 2: And this has been yet another episode of poor decisions.
Speaker 1: Hi everybody, it's bonus be.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode on our Patreon, which have
Speaker 3: truly become my favorite episodes to me.
Speaker 2: Because we just gonna sit here and shoot you all
Speaker 2: the shit. I'll shoot you all this, shoot y'all the ship.
Speaker 2: I can't say that, like shoot the ship. You ain't
Speaker 2: never heard to shoot the ship. Yeah, but shoot y'all,
Speaker 2: shoot y'all the ship.
Speaker 1: We No, I can't say that, we're not gonna do this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shoot you the ship. Were shooting y'all the ship? Sure, baby, Okay.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I actually we gotta be able to schedule this
Speaker 2: because this is considered a part two continuation of a
Speaker 2: regular episode. But y'all know we Bevoke recording, so here
Speaker 2: it is. But wanted to, you know, keep it flowing,
Speaker 2: keep it going.
Speaker 3: Okay, So we are at the point where you said
Speaker 3: he is super ambitious the okay, so really like him.
Speaker 3: Then I share with you the nigga that I fucked
Speaker 3: after not fucking for almost four years, right, and now
Speaker 3: I fucked and it's good boom.
Speaker 2: So the two other niggas, So let's start with niggaumber three.
Speaker 2: So nigga number three is it's been door number three nigga.
Speaker 2: Number three was about to be the nigga that would
Speaker 2: have been if I played my cards out this week,
Speaker 2: it would be another artist nigga didn't show you about.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm about to show you too. Oh so
Speaker 1: this three nigga, I'm about to tell you Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: So the three niggas. He was about to be number three. Okay.
Speaker 2: So I've been having the hardest dilemma with him because
Speaker 2: this is Patreon, and no I am not shaming, No,
Speaker 2: I'm not judging.
Speaker 1: But he's a sex worker. He has an only fan, Okay.
Speaker 2: But we've been talking from before he had the only
Speaker 2: fans back when I was bat bitch. We've been talking
Speaker 2: since twenty seventeen. But now he's like, what did he
Speaker 2: do before lely fans?
Speaker 1: I think he was just a bro fine nigga, okay,
Speaker 1: and now.
Speaker 3: He's a lit only let's see to come to okay.
Speaker 3: So oh, I'll show you the content.
Speaker 1: Then let me go to Twitter first. Okay.
Speaker 2: Before showing you, I was gonna show you his pretty
Speaker 2: smile and his lovely face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care. But since you actually want to
Speaker 1: see the dick and so this is oh, let me
Speaker 1: turn down. So I heard the shower bitch. So that's
Speaker 1: who I've seen him before.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm sure everyone has seen him before. So I'm
Speaker 2: supposed to be sucking him this week. And we've been talking.
Speaker 1: Why do you keep trying to suck my type of
Speaker 1: niggas with dreads?
Speaker 3: Bro?
Speaker 1: This is bro.
Speaker 2: I've been talking to him since he have dreads. Okay,
Speaker 2: he had like I think of a low cut.
Speaker 1: Look at the.
Speaker 3: Baby that you take these don't do that, don't don't,
Speaker 3: don't day you're So.
Speaker 1: That's another reason why I didn't want niggas before. The
Speaker 1: videos of Hitch he deleted all of them. I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happening. Is giving solo? I even subscribe to
Speaker 1: prepare to his own fans subscribe. Is he one of
Speaker 1: the niggas that bitch has been accusing us some shiit? No,
Speaker 1: he's actually not. That's his real come coming up.
Speaker 2: Bro, it is it's hot And he just said, Babe,
Speaker 2: if you want me to spend the night, I'll spend
Speaker 2: the night.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, babe, he's been calling me babe. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are we doing here?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 1: Bang? Not girlfriend? Experienced. Sorry, I'm okay, No, bitch, I'm
Speaker 1: in marsh you know he's God damn babe. So this
Speaker 1: is this is the niggas. It's already any funny ow
Speaker 1: niggas will lost me wearing a bonding session. It's already
Speaker 1: prescribed prescribe schedule. I don't know what's in your We're bitch,
Speaker 1: we are fucking on Wednesday. Okay. The problem is it's Monday.
Speaker 2: I could have a nigga slot over tonight, but then
Speaker 2: the nigga actually like we going on a dat.
Speaker 1: You need to suck someone before him, so it's open
Speaker 1: because it's big, right, Yeah, I don't like this advice.
Speaker 1: What is that not crazy? That's not crazy to say?
Speaker 3: Bro?
Speaker 1: Is anyone watching on his dick has been? Is the
Speaker 1: girth of this water is big? Hold on and it's
Speaker 1: like it's what you is big?
Speaker 3: So anyways, that my thing is gonna confuse your pussy
Speaker 3: from your asshole.
Speaker 1: So I'm supposed to fuck him on Wednesday. Then this
Speaker 1: is the nigga. Is he just gonna come over you
Speaker 1: guys gonnaet drinks first? No, girl, I'm gonna be in Atlanta.
Speaker 2: He's gonna come through to the hotel, hotel sex bitch,
Speaker 2: hotel sex bitch.
Speaker 1: He coming through.
Speaker 2: He's spending the night. I got a production date to
Speaker 2: do the next day, but.
Speaker 1: He's gonna wait. Why is he spending the night? So
Speaker 1: that's what we've already talked about.
Speaker 3: So