1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com by 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: live on the air. Just are going to read this 6 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: could be yours. 8 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time. 9 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject why does my husband go out 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: without me? Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband and I decided 12 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 1: early against having children. We have a great social life 13 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: and our house is still the hangout spot for our friends. 14 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: He's sixty one and I'm fifty nine, and we have 15 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: made the marriage work for twenty seven years. Last year 16 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: I found out he was cheating. His lover kept calling 17 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: his phone over and over, so I told him to 18 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: handle it. He told me that he handled it. I 19 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: decided not to stress about it because there was nothing 20 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: I could do to stop him from cheating, and I 21 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: was not ready to leave him and be alone, so 22 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 1: I didn't ask any questions. He did all he could 23 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: to show me how remorseful he was for cheating, and 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: I was just happy that our friends didn't find out, 25 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: so I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress. 26 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,199 Speaker 1: But my girlfriends knew about it all along and didn't 27 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: say a word until recently. We had a kickback at 28 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: the house and a group of my girls were there. 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: When my husband left to buy more ice. They cornered me. 30 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: One of my closest friends asked why my husband is 31 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: always going out without me. I asked why she was 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: asking me that in front of everyone, and I assured 33 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: her that my husband is always home. The other lady said, 34 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: they know for a fact that's not true. They told 35 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: me that my husband has been sleeping with the lady 36 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: that lives behind us for over a year, and he 37 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: gets away with it because I let him. They tried 38 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: to tell me about the woman, but I stopped them. 39 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: I really don't care about her. I'm more upset than 40 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: my friends now know what's up. I'm still not prepared 41 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: to leave my comfortable life with my husband, but I'm 42 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have some 43 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: dignity and finally confront my husband, Well, I don't think 44 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: this is really about dignity at this point, because if 45 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: it was about dignity, you wouldn't be so okay with 46 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: your husband's cheating. I mean, you wouldn't be so worried 47 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,679 Speaker 1: about what your girlfriends are saying. You would be more 48 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: concerned about what your husband is doing. He's cheating and 49 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: humiliating you, but you say you don't care, and you're 50 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: willing to stay in this marriage, cheating and all as 51 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: long as you say face with your friends, that's what's 52 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: important to you. So you've made your choice as far 53 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: as that's concerned, and the winner is your husband and 54 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: his cheating apparently, and your comfortable life with him. So 55 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: if that's what it is, why don't you stand on 56 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: that and let your nosy girlfriends know how you feel. 57 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: Tell them to stay out of your business because you 58 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: are staying with your husband and your nice, comfortable life 59 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 1: with your husband. But now, if it truly is dignity 60 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: you want and that you're concerned about, then stop listening 61 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 1: to your girlfriends, and yes, do confront your husband and 62 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: try to straighten this mess out. 63 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 2: Steve uh She said that her husband and I decided 64 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 2: early against having children. Okay, what that got to do 65 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 2: with any damn things. See just how I know now 66 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 2: that this lady Finna tell a story that's gonna be 67 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 2: a little off, because I kept waiting on this to 68 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 2: come into the letter and it never did. She opens 69 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 2: it with this Sheirley Stephen Shirley, my husband. I decided 70 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 2: early against having children. Okay, we have a great social 71 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 2: life and our house is still to hang out spot 72 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 2: for our friends. He's sixty one, I'm fifty nine. Okay, 73 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 2: We've had a mainly marriage work for twenty seven years. 74 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 2: Then she said, last year I found out he was 75 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 2: cheating because his lover kept calling his phone so I 76 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 2: over and over. So I told him to handle it. 77 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 2: He told me he handled it. I decided not to 78 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: stress about it because there was nothing I could do 79 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 2: to stop him from cheating, and I wasn't ready to 80 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 2: leave him and be alone. So I ain't asked no question. What? 81 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 2: What where his wife at? Who is this wife right here? What? 82 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 2: Let me read this again so you can understand the 83 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 2: depth of my concern. Last year I found out he 84 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: was cheating. His lover kept calling his phone over and over, 85 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 2: so I told him to handle it. He told me 86 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 2: he handled it. I decided not to stress it but 87 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 2: gout it about it because there was nothing I could 88 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 2: do to stop him from cheating, and I was not 89 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 2: ready to leave him and be alone. So I ain't 90 00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 2: ask any questions. What what? What? What? Woman? What? Black woman? What? Woman? 91 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 2: Who do this? I'm concerned. I told him to handle it. 92 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 2: He told me he did that was it? Wait a minute, 93 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 2: if you get caught cheating, your wife tell you the 94 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 2: handle it? You say I did, and she ain't want 95 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 2: to ask you no more questions about it. Boy, if 96 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 2: that's how it went, do you know cheating would increase 97 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 2: by eighty seven percent. I wasn't ready to leave him 98 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: and be alone, so I ain't asked no questions. He 99 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 2: did all he could to show me how remorseful he 100 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 2: was for cheating. Why you ain't asking no questions? How 101 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,159 Speaker 2: much he got the show? If you ain't asking me 102 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 2: no questions? What all did he do? I handle it? 103 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 2: I was just happy that our friends didn't find out? 104 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 2: What's your friends? See? This is where? Now? See this? 105 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 2: This is where you're more concerned about your image than reality. 106 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: I'm just happy my girlfriends but and so I didn't 107 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 2: have to deal with the embarrassment and stress, and my 108 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 2: girlfriends found out. Then she said, but my girlfriends knew 109 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 2: about it all along and didn't say a word until recently. 110 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 1: When we come back, hang on, Steve, Yeah, we'll have 111 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: part two of your response Steve coming up in twenty 112 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: three minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject why does my 113 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 1: husband go out without me? We'll get back into it 114 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:55,119 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Hard Morning Show. All right, Steve, 115 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter subject why does 116 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: my husband go out without me? 117 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 2: You this letter was gonna be full of incomplete statements 118 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 2: when she said, Steven Shirley, my husband and I decided 119 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 2: early against having children. All that comes into play in 120 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 2: this letter nowhere. So this was to throw us off. 121 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 2: You know when a person makes a statement like that 122 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 2: is to throw you off. So you so you be 123 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: digging for that detail, so you don't ask for no 124 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 2: more detail. Because she good at not asking questions, so 125 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 2: she don't want us to ask none either, So she 126 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 2: tried to throw us off with these bread crumbs to 127 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 2: lead us down this Donnie buck path, Donnie brook path 128 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 2: about these and my husband and I decided not to 129 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 2: have children. They've been married twenty seven years. They got 130 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 2: a lot of friends and they Kyles is still to 131 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: hang out and I found out last year that he 132 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: was cheating on me because his lover kept calling his phone. 133 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 2: I told him to handle it. He told me he 134 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 2: handled it. So I decided not to stress about it 135 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: because there was nothing I could do to stop him 136 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 2: from cheating, and I was not ready to leave him 137 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 2: and be alone. So I ain't asked no questions. This 138 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 2: is the greatest woman I've ever met. This woman is 139 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 2: I just I don't know where she is. She's raped, 140 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: She's rare. She's like finding the world's biggest diamond at Costco, 141 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 2: a rare jewel. It's like I'm telling you, man, it's 142 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 2: like your chances of finding baby all at Costco, because 143 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 2: the CEO Costco came out and said they don't even 144 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 2: sell baby. 145 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: Or Bunny book right. 146 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,439 Speaker 2: So I didn't want to leave him be alone, so 147 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 2: I ain't asked no questions. He did all he could 148 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,679 Speaker 2: to show me how remorseful he was for cheating. I 149 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 2: was just happy that our friends didn't find out, so 150 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 2: I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress. 151 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,599 Speaker 2: But my girlfriends knew about it all along, and it 152 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 2: ain't saying a word intes. Okay, this is how she 153 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 2: found out. We had a kick back at the house. Okay, 154 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:08,560 Speaker 2: right there, that's old. That's hey, listen to me. Don't 155 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 2: nobody do that no more? Then it is out of style. 156 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 2: Call kids, that's what they called it. Kickback. That's what 157 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 2: they call oh they do. Oh okay, well I ain't 158 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,079 Speaker 2: know that because it ain't. None of them living with 159 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 2: me no more, because I understand that kick back and 160 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 2: drink them all. You're gonna drink at my house you 161 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 2: have at your own house. Now, my kids when they 162 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 2: have it at their house now, they hide and lick 163 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 2: and everything something all right? Oh, they recently told me 164 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 2: that they had a kickback at your house and your 165 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 2: girls was there. Then my husband left to buy more ice, 166 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 2: they coined me. One of my closest friends asked me, 167 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 2: why is my husband always going out with me? I 168 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 2: asked her why. She asked me that in front of everybody, 169 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 2: and I assured her that my husband was always home. 170 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 2: Well that's two lives right there. You are sured that 171 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 2: your husband is always home. Hard to cheat. And then 172 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 2: they want to know why your husband always going home 173 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 2: without you. You know how hard it is to cheat 174 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 2: if you got to, if you trying to make you 175 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 2: stay in the car, you can't. Lady, why is your 176 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 2: husband always leaving without me? Cause you can't cheat? And 177 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 2: you in the car because y'all ain't gonna stay in 178 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: the car. Whose house is this? I'm just running in 179 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 2: my boy's house. I'm just gonna be here for three hours, man, 180 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 2: hedne fix me something to eat. I'm gonna go in 181 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: in here and eat and then I'm gonna take a shower, 182 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 2: and then I'll come back out and get you. 183 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: Please. 184 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 2: I told him my husband's always home. Then the other 185 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 2: lady said, they know for a fact that's not true. 186 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 2: They told me that my husband has been sleeping with 187 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 2: a lady that lives behind us. See that's really convenient 188 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 2: because you can. You can park your car in your driveway, 189 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 2: go in the garage, cut a hole in the back 190 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 2: of the garage, climb the fence, and you that because 191 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a hole in the back of this garage. 192 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 2: If she stayed right back there and for over a 193 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 2: year and he gets away with it because I let him. 194 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 2: They tried to tell me about the woman, but I 195 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 2: stopped him. I really don't care about her. I am 196 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 2: more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm still 197 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 2: not prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband. 198 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 2: But I'm concerned about how people perceive me. Should I 199 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 2: have some dignity? And finally, confront my husband. I have 200 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: an answer to all of these questions right here. I'm 201 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 2: more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm not 202 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 2: prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband. 203 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: Now. 204 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 2: It's because listen to this, y'all. You prefer a lifestyle 205 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 2: over your style of life. Play on words. You prefer 206 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 2: a lifestyle over a style of life. You would rather 207 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 2: sit there and be sick to your stomach and act 208 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 2: like something ain't happening so you can have a few, 209 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 2: uh you know, you know, comforts of home. But I 210 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 2: am concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have 211 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 2: some dignity? And finally, here's how you get dignity. Tell 212 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:38,959 Speaker 2: your girlfriends that you're cheating to girl, what that's a 213 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 2: whole no conversation, And then at the next kickback, invite 214 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: a dude over. Ain't nobody seen before me? I like 215 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 2: high male escort big strong, look a big strapping boy, 216 00:12:54,840 --> 00:13:00,079 Speaker 2: Today's four only one with a flat stomach at a 217 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 2: Whole Kickback. 218 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: On Facebook and Steve Harvey FM. Also check out the 219 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up 220 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: next Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening 221 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,440 Speaker 1: to The Dave Harvey Morning Show