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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh Sam, I love you so much.

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Speaker 2: I love you almost as much as the great stories

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Speaker 2: that are about to come up. And you know what,

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Speaker 2: I love equally as much as the two minutes of

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Speaker 2: sponsors coming up, because they support the show and make

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Speaker 2: sure that we will have our happily Ever after.

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Speaker 3: I proposed to my best friend's bully, it did not

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Speaker 3: go well.

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Speaker 4: Did you propose that they stopped bullying your best friend?

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Speaker 1: Beth and I have been best friends since preschool.

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Speaker 3: We suffered through school together and eventually went to the

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Speaker 3: same university for our undergrad Beth had it worse in

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Speaker 3: high school, being overweight and a drama geek. Allison was

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Speaker 3: a mean girl and mean she was to Beth. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user marrying the mean girl.

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime subburn it. Beth and

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Speaker 3: I both moved back to our hometown at different times.

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Speaker 3: Beth became an elementary school teacher and I went on

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Speaker 3: to grad school. I started teaching at a local community

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Speaker 3: college when I moved back. Allison married a soldier right

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Speaker 3: out of high school and had two children with him.

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Speaker 3: He was unalived in action while she was pregnant with

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Speaker 3: their youngest. She moved back to our hometown and got

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Speaker 3: a job at Starbucks. She's also working on getting an

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Speaker 3: AA from a different community college, ow In Associates. One morning,

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Speaker 3: on my way to work, I happened to go to

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Speaker 3: Alison Starbucks.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't thrilled to see her, to say the least.

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Speaker 3: She pulled me aside after I ordered and apologized for

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Speaker 3: being such a wiener.

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Speaker 1: In high school.

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Speaker 3: After a few weeks of stopping by for my morning latte,

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Speaker 3: I asked her out. She was funny, kind, quick witted,

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Speaker 3: and yes I noticed, I couldn't help it, as beautiful

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Speaker 3: as ever.

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Speaker 1: We've been together.

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Speaker 3: For a year and she is the love of my life.

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Speaker 3: I love her with all my heart. I love her children,

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Speaker 3: and I've become a father figured to them both. I

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Speaker 3: asked her to marry me and told her I'd like

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Speaker 3: to adopt her kids. She accepted it, and we were

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Speaker 3: both very excited for the future. But Beth did not

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Speaker 3: take this news well. She has been blasting Allison to

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Speaker 3: all of our old friends. Some that I had hoped

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Speaker 3: to make grooms meant things like Allison is using me

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Speaker 3: for money, which she's not. She received a large insurance

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Speaker 3: settlement after her husband's passing. She does not advertise this

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Speaker 3: info though, or she's only interested in me now because

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Speaker 3: geeky is the new cool. That a woman that looks

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Speaker 3: like that could never truly be interested in a man

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Speaker 3: love me, my gosh. Alison has apologized to Beth before,

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Speaker 3: and Beth said she accepted it, but obviously she still

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Speaker 3: has some bitterness stored up. Allison and I tried to

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Speaker 3: be understanding because yes, Allison was awful in high school.

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Speaker 3: She deserves anger. She's the first to admit that she

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Speaker 3: doesn't deserve forgiveness. Last night, Beth called me wasted and

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Speaker 3: asked to talk to Alison, and.

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Speaker 1: It was bad. U oh.

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Speaker 3: She went off on Emily, Allison's oldest. Emily has a

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Speaker 3: severe peanut allergy and has very poor vision, which requires

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Speaker 3: her to wear strong prescription glasses. Beth said things like

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Speaker 3: Emily is made fun of at school she attends the

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Speaker 3: school where Beth teaches, and that she gets a secret

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Speaker 3: kick out of it, knowing that Allison's own daughter is

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Speaker 3: experiencing the same treatment Alison dished out. She said she

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Speaker 3: hasn't made any moves to stop it and that this

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Speaker 3: is karma for Allison's nasty youth. Beth said Emily deserves

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Speaker 3: her allergy and her thick glasses, and that this is

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Speaker 3: what happened when an evil womb produces a child. Allison

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Speaker 3: was shaking by the time she hung up on Beth.

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Speaker 3: She's been sobbing all day and wants to pull Emily

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Speaker 3: from that school and or report Beth and have her fired.

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Speaker 1: I low key would probably do.

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Speaker 4: That because that's your teacher. If this is I mean,

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Speaker 4: I'm guessing it's elementary school or something that this has happened,

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Speaker 4: like how old these kids are. But I would not

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Speaker 4: want my kid around a school teacher like that. Even

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Speaker 4: if it wasn't my kid that was being bullied by

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Speaker 4: this teacher, I would not want to mess with that

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Speaker 4: teacher ever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just I don't think this is a MICHAELA.

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Speaker 3: Currell's hurt people hurt people, bullies become bullies. Yeah this

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Speaker 3: is yeah, this is a hurt person now just like

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Speaker 3: lashing out, Yeah at what she feels is like justified.

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Speaker 3: Beth texted me this morning that she was so sorry

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Speaker 3: for the things that she said, but the damage has

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Speaker 3: been done.

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Speaker 1: I told Alison.

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Speaker 3: I was hesitant to report her, and now Allison is

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Speaker 3: furious with me. I think she might call off our

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Speaker 3: engagement over this. I feel like a knucklehead for not

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Speaker 3: being understanding. I'm marrying the girl that tormented her in

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Speaker 3: high school. That's got to suck. But she attacked this

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Speaker 3: little girl, this sweet child I've been raising as my

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Speaker 3: daughter and planned to legally make my own.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 3: Should we report Beth My gut says yes, because what

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Speaker 3: kind of teacher says those things about a child?

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Speaker 1: If it were anyone but her, I'd be all for it.

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Speaker 3: But on the other hand, she was wasted and her

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Speaker 3: best friend is marrying her bully.

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Speaker 1: I'm at a loss.

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Speaker 3: I mean, man, it is like a very like tight

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Speaker 3: rope or you know, situation of like it really you

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Speaker 3: could just fall in either direction because given the context,

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Speaker 3: it's like I don't think she's I don't think she's

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Speaker 3: bullying all the students. Sure, I don't think she condones bullying.

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Speaker 3: I think she was really drunk. Probably was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: your daughter gets picked on and I don't even care.

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Speaker 3: I like it, And like maybe that's true about one student,

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Speaker 3: which is like still not good, but like, right, I

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Speaker 3: don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just like I wouldn't trust that teacher though.

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Speaker 4: That's what I feel is like, even if Emily wasn't

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Speaker 4: my kid and my kid was just in that class,

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Speaker 4: I would not trust that teacher to just I don't

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Speaker 4: know it would be a good influence or be able

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Speaker 4: to like if bullying did come up, if she would

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Speaker 4: stop it or something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah or yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well that's the thing is, it's like you've said some

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Speaker 3: things now where it's like, ah, you cannot put them

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Speaker 3: back in the bottle. Yeah, you said some things that

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Speaker 3: made it sound like you're like you just let kids

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Speaker 3: get bullied exactly, almost to a level of encouraging it, right, Right,

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Speaker 3: So even if it's in that one context, it feels

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Speaker 3: weird now because that's what I'm adopting that kid.

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Speaker 1: So that's my kid.

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Speaker 3: So what am I not going to report you after

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Speaker 3: you told me you let my kid get bullied? Like what,

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't understand. That's a tough one. I'd

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Speaker 3: almost flip a coin. That's so hard.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you could talked to her, but I would I

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Speaker 4: would report her for sure.

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Speaker 1: For sure.

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Speaker 3: First talk to your kid about what their experience is

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Speaker 3: like at school. I guess, I guess now if you're

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Speaker 3: if you're just finding this out, there's an edit here.

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Speaker 3: Sorry guys, it's been a long day. Yep, I'm a tool.

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Speaker 3: I told Alison that I was completely wrong for hesitating

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Speaker 3: to report Beth. I support her one. Emily is our

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Speaker 3: top priority here. She has already emailed the teacher this

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Speaker 3: morning and plans on calling the principle on Monday. We

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Speaker 3: have both blocked Beth from Facebook and our phones, and

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Speaker 3: there is an update here.

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Speaker 4: Oo, let's see, let's get it.

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Speaker 3: I think you kind of what you're forced. Your hand

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Speaker 3: becomes forced once you hear those words come out of

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Speaker 3: the teacher's mouth. Yeah, it doesn't matter who the teacher.

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Speaker 1: Is or what other kind.

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Speaker 3: It's like, oh, you're just letting you said you get

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Speaker 3: a kick out of seeing my kid get bullied.

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Speaker 1: Well, I hope you get a kick out of finding

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Speaker 1: a new job. Update.

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to hit all the talking points at once here.

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Speaker 3: Sorry if I miss any. I have obviously described teenage

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Speaker 3: Allison poorly. She was a butthole, mean and snarky, but

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Speaker 3: she did not actively seek Beth out to torment her.

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Speaker 3: No fake MySpace pages. Like you heard in the news.

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Speaker 3: She was just a knucklehead to the people who weren't

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Speaker 3: part of her cool crowd. She was not the meanest

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Speaker 3: or main antagonist by a long shot. I glossed over

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Speaker 3: her apologies because I didn't think they were relevant. I

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Speaker 3: can assure you that they were heartfelt and sincere. Allison

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Speaker 3: has made it clear that she doesn't expect forgiveness. She

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Speaker 3: just wanted us to know that her poor behavior was

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Speaker 3: entirely a reflection upon her, and we never did anything

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Speaker 3: to incur her wrath. Allison and Beth had a tentative

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Speaker 3: friendship building up until the engagement announcement. Allison is not

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Speaker 3: the same person as she was in high school. I'm

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Speaker 3: not the same person I was in high school. Allison

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Speaker 3: had already emailed the teacher before I posted this. I

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Speaker 3: think she's still a little angry that I didn't automatically

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Speaker 3: join up on the burn Beth wagon, but she understands

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Speaker 3: that I'm human, Beth has been a huge part of

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Speaker 3: my life for years, and that she is hurting. Her

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Speaker 3: email didn't even mention Beth, just something like I've heard

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Speaker 3: that Emily is being picked on at school.

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Speaker 1: Do you know if there's any truth to this.

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Speaker 3: Allison has already asked Emily if she likes school yes,

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Speaker 3: if kids have been mean to her, no, and if

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Speaker 3: she has fun there yes. Emily comes home happy every day,

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Speaker 3: so there's been nothing that would lead us to the

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Speaker 3: conclusion that she was being bullied. Someone asked if Alison

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Speaker 3: has told her kids about her being a mean girl.

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Speaker 1: She has.

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Speaker 3: She's made it very clear that it is never okay

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Speaker 3: to hurt others. And while you may think being mean

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Speaker 3: to others makes you feel good about yourself or makes

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Speaker 3: others like you or think you're funny, you're hurting yourself too.

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Speaker 3: No one deserves to be made to feel bad because

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Speaker 3: you think it's funny.

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Speaker 1: It's not funny, it's cruel. She used the feeding the.

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Speaker 3: Good wolf slash evil wolf, analogy that seemed to really

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Speaker 3: strike a chord with Emily. Her youngest is way too

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Speaker 3: young to understand. Inside you are two wolves. One is

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Speaker 3: silly and one is hungry.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that one which one? Will you be

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Speaker 1: silly the silly wolf. The hungry wolf just is too angry,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm hungry, give me more food. He's like, look,

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Speaker 1: I'm making a joke movie.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna be a little goofy guy.

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Speaker 1: Make a silly's movie.

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Speaker 3: As for the friends being swayed against Allison, they either

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Speaker 3: don't believe it or have made it clear they don't

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Speaker 3: want to be involved in the fight. Honestly, if Beth

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Speaker 3: had feelings for me, yeah, I can see how that

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Speaker 3: could crush her. That doesn't excuse her actions at all, though,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to feel bad about asking someone I

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Speaker 3: really liked out because she was a knucklehead as a teenager.

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Speaker 1: I heard the phone call.

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Speaker 3: I just put Beth on speakerphone with her consents so

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Speaker 3: she could talk to us both. I got a few

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Speaker 3: private messages from some people that I worry might actually

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Speaker 3: be Beth. You're stuck raising some passed away soldiers kids

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Speaker 3: while you're seaword barista wife fs other men. I hope

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Speaker 3: Beth lips Emily's and peanut butter at lunch. It's wonderful

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Speaker 3: to know that this mother gets to feel what my

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Speaker 3: own mother felt. If it's not Beth, these are people

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Speaker 3: that are projecting their own issues here. Emily is doing great,

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Speaker 3: obviously better than any of you. I appreciate the kind

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Speaker 3: pms quite a bit and by the way, you can

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Speaker 3: appreciate listening to full episodes with stories just like this

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Speaker 3: on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to stories,

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Speaker 3: wherever you listen to podcasts search, Okay, story time. After

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Speaker 3: much thought, no matter what Emily's teacher says, we're going

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Speaker 3: to the administration with what Beth said. Oh is the

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Speaker 3: priority now not Beth, And we just can't trust Beth anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yop.

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Speaker 3: Depending on what Emily's teacher says, we may or may

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Speaker 3: not give Beth a heads up. Eventually, I'd like to

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Speaker 3: think we can forgive Beth, but trust her with this

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Speaker 3: fragile little psyche one and Done's son, we can't risk

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Speaker 3: it talking about their kid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 4: Who dude, protect your freaking children from mini's like this?

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Speaker 1: All right, it's true, think of the children.

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Speaker 3: I understand that Beth's a victim of bullying, but it's like,

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Speaker 3: you know, Beth needs to work through that in a

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Speaker 3: way that allows her to exist without feeling the need

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Speaker 3: to like revel in the bullying of another child. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that is completely innocent in the situation. So that end

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Speaker 3: the cycle, regardless of it. If that's even true or not.

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Speaker 3: The fact that that came out is like concerning. It's like, well,

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Speaker 3: would you even if that's not happening right now? It's

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Speaker 3: like if it did happen now, I have to question

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Speaker 3: whether or not you'd just let my kid get harassed

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Speaker 3: at school or encourage it.

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Speaker 1: Almost my roommate.

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Speaker 4: Moved stuff while I was gone, so I returned the favor.

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Speaker 1: Moved on your stuff into these boxes I put outside.

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Speaker 4: I moved into this lot about eight months ago. I

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Speaker 4: met Lana online on a roommate website and we clicked Wow,

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Speaker 4: she's a bit younger but seemed to mature. We quickly

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Speaker 4: agreed to be roommates. Both of us were under time

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Speaker 4: constraints to find place to live, but have gotten on

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Speaker 4: really well so far up until this. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from Where's my Room? And if you want

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Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 4: Okay sorry time subreddit. Our flat is a two bedroom,

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Speaker 4: and to be frank, my room is clearly the better one.

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Speaker 4: It's bigger and has built in wardrobes. When looking for

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Speaker 4: the flat, I found the place first on my own

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Speaker 4: and put down a deposit to take it off the

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Speaker 4: market while I found another roommate. The flat was perfect

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Speaker 4: cheap rent in. My aunt manages the property, so I

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Speaker 4: was keen to snap it up before anyone else did.

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Speaker 4: The area it's in is popular, so I wasn't really

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Speaker 4: worried about not finding someone to room with because of

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Speaker 4: the above and that I was there first.

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Speaker 1: I took the bigger room naturally.

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Speaker 4: When showing potential roommates, including Lana, around, I was sure

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Speaker 4: to show the smaller room and say this.

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Speaker 1: Would be your room.

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Speaker 4: We moved in eight months ago and it's been happy families.

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Speaker 4: Never heard Lana complain about her room because I have

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Speaker 4: about six times the wardrobe space that she does. I

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Speaker 4: told her that she's welcome to store her off season

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Speaker 4: clothes in there, or whatever she wants to store, as

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Speaker 4: long as she's not popping in every morning to get dressed.

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Speaker 4: She was happy with this. Just over a month ago,

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Speaker 4: I went traveling. Now I'm not the biggest fan of

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Speaker 4: having people in my room, but I told Lanna that

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Speaker 4: if she had someone stay, her sister or friends from home,

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Speaker 4: they could sleep in my bed. She said thanks, And

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Speaker 4: as she's been such a great roommate and rarely has

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Speaker 4: guests except her boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I didn't worry at all. I came back yesterday.

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Speaker 4: I was exhausted from the flight and traveling and just

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Speaker 4: wanted to shower and sleep. As I walked in, Lana

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Speaker 4: was in the living room with her boyfriend. We said

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Speaker 4: hello and hugged, had a very quick catch up blah

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Speaker 4: blah blah. Then I dragged my suitcase to my room,

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Speaker 4: opened the door and found it full of stuff that

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Speaker 4: was not mine. I kind of yelled well f and

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Speaker 4: briefly thought that I was so jet lagged. I was confused,

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Speaker 4: but opened the door to Lana's room and saw all

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Speaker 4: of my stuff. I walked into the living room and

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Speaker 4: asked Lona what was going on, and she said, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 4: I forgot to mention. We put my stuff in your

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Speaker 4: room just because it's bigger and you weren't here, and

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Speaker 4: you said I could use it. I was honestly so

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Speaker 4: tired I could have passed out then, so I probably

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Speaker 4: wasn't in the best state, and I told her to move.

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Speaker 1: It all back immediately.

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Speaker 4: She said they were in the middle of making dinner,

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Speaker 4: and I looked tired, though I should have a sleep.

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Speaker 4: Her boyfriend then said, and anyway, you pay the same rent,

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Speaker 4: so isn't it fair that you both get the big room.

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Speaker 4: At some point, I was getting really frustrated and could

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Speaker 4: feel tears welling up, hysterical from lack of sleep, so

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Speaker 4: I just said we'll deal with this tomorrow and it's

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Speaker 4: getting moved, and then I went to sleep in not

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Speaker 4: my room. I've woken up now and I'm so pissed off.

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Speaker 4: Lana's at work, so I can't talk to her. But

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Speaker 4: what should I do when she's home. I feel like

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Speaker 4: this is going to turn into an argument. I don't

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Speaker 4: think it'll be as simple as Okay, let's swap Now

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Speaker 4: that you're home, and I've taken the advice of most

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Speaker 4: people on this thread and moved my stuff back. It's

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Speaker 4: taken hours and I'm knackered, but I think that if

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Speaker 4: I left it another night, it would be a real problem.

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Speaker 4: I sent her a text when I was almost done,

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Speaker 4: in case she kicked up a crapstorm and came home

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Speaker 4: to say, Hilna, hope you're having a nice day at work,

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Speaker 4: Just to let you know I'm moving my stuff back

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Speaker 4: into my room. Didn't want you coming home and walking

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Speaker 4: into the wrong one. Yes, I'm petty I'll be talking

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Speaker 4: to her when she gets in because this is out

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Speaker 4: of character for her, to the point of it being bizarre.

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Speaker 4: She's never been anything but a model roommate, so I'm

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Speaker 4: going to give her a chance before ward done. So,

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Speaker 4: if she wants to be reasonable and have a chat

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Speaker 4: about rents portions, I'm happy to do that. She's never

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Speaker 4: had a problem with rent before, and honestly, I've never

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Speaker 4: had uneven rent amounts in any place I've ever lived,

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Speaker 4: whether I had a bigger room or smaller room. But

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Speaker 4: a lot of people here are saying it's so I'm

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Speaker 4: open to talking about it if she's not ridiculous. And

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Speaker 4: at number two, Lana should be home in a bit.

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Speaker 4: I'll update when I can, and we do have an update.

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Speaker 4: What do we think is gonna happen? What would you predict?

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Speaker 1: This was boyfriends at the end.

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Speaker 3: That's what I'm thinking too, because he dropped that weird

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Speaker 3: little comment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, SOO, will you guys pay the same amount of rents?

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Speaker 1: Those you didn't make sense? You should both get the

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Speaker 1: big room at some point.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like they have definitely talked about it. He definitely

351
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Speaker 4: helped her with all of this. Would not be surprised

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Speaker 4: if it was his idea from the start. But we

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Speaker 4: do have an update. Hi everyone, I've got about a

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Speaker 4: million messages asking.

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Speaker 1: For an update.

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Speaker 4: But last night was a bit mad and I'm still

357
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Speaker 4: pretty jet lagged, so sorry, but.

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Speaker 1: I went to sleep. Anyway, here we go.

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Speaker 4: So, as you know, I texted Lonna to tell her

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Speaker 4: I moved my stuff back. She didn't reply to me, fine, whatever,

361
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Speaker 4: but she didn't kick off, so I figured that were okay.

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Speaker 1: I told my aunt.

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Speaker 4: What had happened, who was as baffled as all of you,

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Speaker 4: and I told her it was probably all sorted, just

365
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Speaker 4: keeping her in the loop. I also told my boyfriend,

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Speaker 4: who works about five minutes down the road. He offered

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Speaker 4: to come around in case Lona's boyfriend came round, but

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Speaker 4: I told him not too, because then we're ganging up

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Speaker 4: on Lana. He insisted on going for our coffee with

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Speaker 4: his mate a couple of roads away in case we

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Speaker 4: needed backup, which is a bit ridiculous but very cute

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Speaker 4: of him. So I did give myself a glass of

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Speaker 4: wine while waiting for Lana, not because I was nervous,

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Speaker 4: I just like wine. And she came home. I was

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Speaker 4: sat in the living room and gave her a very

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Speaker 4: cold high. When she walked in, she sort of froze

377
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Speaker 4: back in hand and her arms darted between me and

378
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Speaker 4: my not her our bedroom door. She blurted did you

379
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Speaker 4: do it? And I said, what, moved the rooms back?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course. Her eyes went all wide and.

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Speaker 4: She dropped her bag and ran into the bathroom. I

382
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Speaker 4: could hear her talking on the phone, so I was like, yip, yeah,

383
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Speaker 4: I guess Tom's coming round, finn. I heard the door unlocked,

384
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Speaker 4: and I was about to go full hulk on how

385
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Speaker 4: psycho she is when she came out of the door

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Speaker 4: and stood between our bedrooms. Their doors are adjacent, and

387
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Speaker 4: she just stared between them, both breathing heavily.

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Speaker 1: It was really odd.

389
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Speaker 4: What is going on?

390
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Speaker 1: What's happened? She's turning into a beast, it sounds like.

391
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Speaker 4: Then I noticed that she was crying and getting a

392
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Speaker 4: bit panicky, so I asked what was going on. She

393
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,680
Speaker 4: burst into tears and said, oh my god, he's going

394
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Speaker 4: to unlive me and just sobbed. What is this the boyfriend?

395
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Speaker 3: Then, yes, boyfriend, it's because the boyfriend.

396
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Speaker 4: So yeah, it was the boyfriend's idea completely, As a

397
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Speaker 4: lot of us suspected. She's honestly always been a perfect roommate,

398
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Speaker 4: which is kind of why I came to this up.

399
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Speaker 4: If she was generally an a hole, I would have

400
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 4: known how to act, if you know what I mean. Anyway,

401
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 4: Lana has a bit of a breakdown, and it turns

402
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Speaker 4: out that pos Tom has always been a bit of

403
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 4: a pos very jealous, which I always saw hints of

404
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 4: but Lana never mentioned so I didn't, and has amped

405
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 4: up his posishness while I've been away. When I left,

406
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,680
Speaker 4: he had finished school and basically moved in unannounced, And

407
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 4: when she'd mentioned that he hasn't been home in days,

408
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 4: he'd give her the what.

409
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Speaker 1: Don't you love me? I treat you so well, you're so.

410
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Speaker 4: Selfish blah blah blah crap and refused to move What

411
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Speaker 4: that's so crazier than I even would think. He moved in,

412
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Speaker 4: and that's why he was like, Oh, you should get

413
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Speaker 4: the big room because now there's two of us.

414
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, what an actual that's crazy.

415
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,520
Speaker 4: And that's just crazy that she's so freaked out about

416
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,800
Speaker 4: him being mad at Lana for this, Like, like Lana's

417
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 4: freaked out about him being mad at her. That's not okay.

418
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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, unfortunate.

419
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 4: She showed me the text that he sent her, absolutely

420
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Speaker 4: horrific stuff, things like ring me in the next five minutes.

421
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Speaker 1: We're over. Okay, so we're over. That's what I say.

422
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 1: That's what you say? That all right, we're over?

423
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,600
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and then watch them go no, no, no, we.

424
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Speaker 4: Mean I didn't mean it. He also would say things

425
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Speaker 4: like send me a picture of you at your desk

426
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Speaker 4: with something showing today's date, so I know.

427
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Speaker 3: You're at work. I send him a beautiful picture of

428
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Speaker 3: this fingerful stuff. Just that your ring finger Nope, no finger, nope, it's.

429
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Speaker 1: The one in the middle.

430
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Speaker 4: Ah, onto the room. As we guessed, he moved it.

431
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Speaker 4: He did it while she was at work, which is

432
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 4: actually a big gross thinking of him going through my stuff.

433
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,159
Speaker 4: And I'm considering somehow implying that I have crabs or

434
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,960
Speaker 4: something he could catch, just to make him squirm a bit.

435
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:10,680
Speaker 1: But I'll work on it.

436
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,199
Speaker 4: Lana came home and said, what are you doing. He

437
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,640
Speaker 4: made out it was just temporary and that I wouldn't

438
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 4: mind such a gentleman speaking on my behalf. And he

439
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,159
Speaker 4: would move it back, and he was doing it for her,

440
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 4: and she was so selfish et cetera. When it got

441
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,440
Speaker 4: a few days before I came back, Lana suggested moving

442
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 4: it back, and he completely denied he said that and

443
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 4: told her that it was her idea to move it,

444
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 4: and he only did what she told him. But it's

445
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,479
Speaker 4: staying now, or she'd be sorry.

446
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 3: I don't know why, but I just I just immediately

447
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,840
Speaker 3: the example that came into my head, like for comparison

448
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 3: was like the Panama Canal. Yeah, America rolling up and

449
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,399
Speaker 3: being like, no, Panama, you want us to build the canal?

450
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:52,399
Speaker 3: And they just are pointing every like artillery, arsenal on

451
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 3: like every warship they have at Panama. They're like like, right,

452
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 3: you want this, right, Panama, you wanted this?

453
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 1: And Panama was like yeah, yeah, sure.

454
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 4: Sure, totally do So basically, Tom is a prick and

455
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 4: Lanna sobbed and apologized and cried and I fed her wine.

456
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 4: She didn't want to see Tom, who obviously assumed that

457
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 4: he lived there now, so I texted him from her

458
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 4: phone saying, our landlady, my aunt was coming around for

459
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 4: an inspection and staying for dinner after with my family

460
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,480
Speaker 4: and he couldn't come over tonight. He sent a lot

461
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 4: of begging whiny texts and then went on the offensive

462
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 4: and called Lana a liar. So I rang my aunt,

463
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,440
Speaker 4: explained everything and had her write us a fake Landlord

464
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 4: email mentioning the visit and how she was looking forward

465
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 4: to fajitas because she's an absolute babe and I make

466
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 4: good packet fajitas, which we forwarded on to Tom. He

467
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 4: left her alone for the rest of the night, apart

468
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 4: from a few texts. By the way, I hope that

469
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 4: you never leave us alone because you can listen to

470
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 4: us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio. One of your favorite

471
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 4: podcasts up is just search Okay Storytime. You'll find episodes

472
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,480
Speaker 4: with full stories just like this one. There is a

473
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 4: little bit more to the story, so I'm not entirely

474
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 4: sure what we do about Tom. Landa sounds like she

475
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 4: wants to break up, judging from her crying and screaming

476
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 4: I hate him, I hate him, I hate him into

477
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 4: her wine. I think she's scared too, though I checked

478
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 4: with her and he doesn't have a key, so that's

479
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 4: a relief. I've told my aunt everything and she said

480
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 4: that she's happy to ban him from the flat, but

481
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 4: Lana would need to break up with him. First and

482
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 4: get all that sorted. Thanks everyone for the advice. I

483
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 4: know it wasn't the most popcorny update, but hopefully Lana

484
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 4: will be okay and we're going to be doing some

485
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 4: girly crap this week and avoiding Tom and yeah, god

486
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 4: knows what will happen, and.

487
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 1: That is the end.

488
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. So the aunt is going to ban

489
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 4: that is good. Get him banned, Get him banned, Get.

490
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 1: Him out of there.

491
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 3: My friend refuses to accept that I don't want to

492
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 3: date his friend.

493
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: It's exhausting. No means no. People, come on.

494
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 3: I moved to a city and met a friend, Eric,

495
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: who was gracious enough to bring me into his social

496
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,920
Speaker 3: group and help me meet new people. I have been

497
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 3: in this city for two years. I travel often for

498
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 3: work and have had a really hard time meeting anyone

499
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 3: local new girlfriends and men alike.

500
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user making new friends.

501
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

502
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytimes subburn.

503
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: So I let Eric know this after we'd gotten to

504
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: know each other a bit, because I felt that people

505
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: can't help you if you don't ask. I'm a pretty

506
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: cool person and I have never had trouble building and

507
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: maintaining relationships with the right people, so it's really been

508
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: about opportunity to meet new girlfriends. Romantically, it's a whole

509
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 1: other issue. I've been involved in.

510
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 3: A few harmful relationships physically, emotionally and financially well. Eric

511
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 3: decides he has his best friend who would love me.

512
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 3: He tells his friend I look like Scarlett Johansson and

513
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 3: send him pictures of me. He talked me up so

514
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 3: much to his friend, and all the while I just ring.

515
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: He literally did it right in front of me.

516
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 3: He noticed my face and said I should just be

517
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: open to possibilities.

518
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 1: Now.

519
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 3: I was immediately uninterested in meeting this friend because I

520
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 3: just met Eric and really wanted to build some platonic friendships.

521
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: Throwing in blind date setups was just a bad idea.

522
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,679
Speaker 3: This was before Eric described his friend to I modeled

523
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 3: for a living, so I work out a lot and

524
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,400
Speaker 3: have to stay in shape most of the year, and

525
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 3: I'm five eight barefoot. I also own my own tech

526
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: company that's been quite successful. I'll be leaving the modeling

527
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 3: industry to run it full time soon. In a man,

528
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: I prefer someone fit who has a runner's build and

529
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 3: at least five eight. That's my sweet spot. I'll never

530
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 3: get hit on by men who meet that description. I'm

531
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: constantly hit on by men who are pushing five to five,

532
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 3: and I'll never understand it.

533
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 1: However, I digress.

534
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 3: Eric told me his friend was super sweet but was

535
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 3: unlucky in love because of his weight.

536
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 1: He's about three hundred pounds.

537
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: Eric said that he thought I would be great for

538
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 3: his friend because I was beautiful, ambitious, and could help

539
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 3: him lose weight. At this point, I just really felt

540
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 3: like nothing I wanted was being taken into consideration.

541
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: One I had already told him I didn't want to

542
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: be set up.

543
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 3: Two he never asked me what type of man I

544
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 3: was attracted to know that I would not be attracted

545
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 3: to his friend. It was all about what I could

546
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 3: offer his friend, who I had no interest in dating

547
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 3: and consistently made that very clear. Once again, I was

548
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 3: being asked to bring everything to the table in exchange

549
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 3: for some male companionship. I could be his friend's ambitious

550
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: scarlet Joe Anson with the great personality in Eric's words,

551
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: and help him get into shape. We all got together

552
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 3: as a group and went out, and it was a

553
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 3: great time. Eric's girlfriend was super sweet and also a model,

554
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 3: so I chatted with her more. Eric's friend was there,

555
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 3: and he's genuinely an amazing person. He's very nice and

556
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 3: I'm sorry he's had issues with dating because of his weight,

557
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 3: but I'm just not attracted to him. Eric won't let

558
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,679
Speaker 3: it go. He makes comments about me keeping an open mind,

559
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 3: et cetera.

560
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 1: Here's my thing.

561
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 3: I am tired of entering into relationships with men and

562
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 3: overlooking important things such as looks. I feel like women

563
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 3: are constantly asked to do this, and I'm sick of it.

564
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 3: In the past, I'd done it on my own, just

565
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,239
Speaker 3: thinking I could get past not being attracted to them.

566
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: The men who mistreated me were all very nice at first,

567
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 3: and because of that I looked past not being attracted

568
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: to them because they offered companionship and seemed kind. No

569
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 3: attraction is important.

570
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: And did did did diit?

571
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: Newsflash, there are plenty of not conventionally attractive men who

572
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 3: are insane ales. The men I've dated in the past

573
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 3: have not been my type, but because they pursued me,

574
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 3: I thought that meant they were genuinely interested in me

575
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 3: and not what I just have to offer. I don't

576
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,439
Speaker 3: know where society got the idea that men who are

577
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 3: overlooked because of looks automatically have hearts of gold. I

578
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 3: shouldn't have to compromise on attraction just to meet a

579
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 3: decent romantic partner.

580
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: No one should. I'm not looking for George Clooney, for

581
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: God's sake.

582
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: I'm pissed that Eric sees what all I could potentially

583
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 3: bring to the table for his friend in exchange for

584
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 3: his friend's kindness. Why does he only see me as

585
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 3: being good enough to be a fixer for his friend,

586
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: telling me to keep an open mind. I'm not asking

587
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 3: anyone to come to the table and fix me and

588
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 3: my issues. I get that Eric is coming from a

589
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 3: loving place for his friend, but it's not a fair

590
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 3: place for me. Problem is, I really like all these

591
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 3: people as friends, but if Eric keeps this up, his

592
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 3: friend's feelings are going to get hurt, and I'm.

593
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: Afraid I'll get booted out of the group.

594
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: It's taken me so long to meet people I connect

595
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 3: with here, and this is what happens. How do I

596
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 3: make Eric back off and keep these friends?

597
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: Help? There's an update.

598
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 3: First, I should mention that while I met Eric two

599
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 3: years ago. In this new he is not a model,

600
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 3: but he does work in the industry. I'm trying really

601
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,479
Speaker 3: hard not to be obvious because everyone involved uses Reddit.

602
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 1: We worked on one of.

603
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 3: My shoots together, and the owner of the video production

604
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 3: company later randomly called me and asked if he could

605
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 3: take noodle photos of me. Naturally, I wouldn't be able

606
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 3: to tell a soul, including his wife, because this was

607
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,199
Speaker 3: a secret hobby of his. I told that guy. My

608
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 3: answer was a hard no, and never heard from him again.

609
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,239
Speaker 3: I sat on that disturbing situation for a while, then

610
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: one day told Eric. His response was an underwhelming everybody

611
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 3: has their issues, so I followed up with him. I

612
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 3: just think you should know in case you're introducing models

613
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 3: to him for networking purposes, you know what he's capable of.

614
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 3: Eric responded with a flat banks. Eric didn't know the

615
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 3: production company owner. They met on the set of my shoot,

616
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 3: so I don't know. We aren't friends from way back,

617
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 3: but I expected some sort of loyalty at least in

618
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 3: his response. I wasn't expecting him to say I'll never

619
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 3: work with the guy, but he couldn't have cared less.

620
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 3: Eric continued to make comments about setting me up with

621
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 3: his friend, to which I continued to make clear uninterested.

622
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: And finally we all got together well brunch.

623
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 3: At one point Eric and I were left at the

624
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 3: table alone and I said, all right, let's talk.

625
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: I wanted to.

626
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 3: Schedule a shoot a couple of months out that he

627
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 3: would be involved in. He immediately assumed I wanted to

628
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 3: chastise him about continually suggesting Idatea's friend. I said, no,

629
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 3: that's not what I was intending to discuss, but to reiterate,

630
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 3: your friend is a great person and I'm no way interested.

631
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,919
Speaker 3: That was the last time he brought it up, so

632
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 3: I felt he had the ability to be reasonable if pressed,

633
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 3: but certainly pushed boundaries. One night, we were playing card

634
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: games and I started to notice that he seemed annoyed

635
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 3: with everyone all the time. He seemed incapable of being challenged,

636
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 3: even in the slightest ways, often pouting, he'd get up,

637
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 3: throw his head back and leave the table, et cetera.

638
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 3: His wife was constantly apologizing to him for things that

639
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 3: didn't seem like offenses. At one point, he got up

640
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 3: left the table and she said sorry to him, no kidding,

641
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 3: five times in rapid succession as she was apologizing to

642
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 3: him for one of his imagined slights. Her friend piped

643
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: up and said, you don't need to apologize, and now

644
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 3: the category five crab store. She had been friends with

645
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 3: this guy for longer than she knew her husband, so

646
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 3: that was my signal something was up. I didn't know

647
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 3: them to comment on their relationship. They just got married,

648
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 3: so they could literally be driving each other up a wall. However,

649
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: the friend's response let me know that perhaps this wasn't

650
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 3: first year marriage problems. This was after another outing where

651
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 3: he was flat out being mean to her. When she

652
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 3: walked away, he said she was having an anxiety fit.

653
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 3: Didn't seem that way to me. Anyone would be frazzled

654
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,959
Speaker 3: by their significant other being a knucklehead to them in public.

655
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 3: I noticed that, aside from the one friend of hers

656
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 3: piping up for her, his other friends just sort of

657
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 3: sat there quietly. If you haven't noticed, I don't easily

658
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 3: develop opinions about things. Being a model means that people

659
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 3: perceive you as and to treat you as an idiot constantly.

660
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 3: I've endured my fair share of false perceptions, so I

661
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 3: try to feel people out until they hang themselves.

662
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 1: Fast forward to the fourth of July.

663
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: We're up on the rooftop and the sun was being

664
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: I was wearing a shirt dress with a sports bra

665
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 3: running shorts underneath. I pulled down the top of my

666
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: dress and tied it around my waist. So imagine I'm

667
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: sitting in a sports bra with a bunch of clothes

668
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 3: tide around my waist. At some point we started discussing

669
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: Marvel Comics, a mutual interest of ours. I commented on

670
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 3: how I was tired of the franchise not developing Storm

671
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 3: and Rogues storylines.

672
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: He then awkwardly chimed in that if.

673
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 3: Women wanted to be perceived differently, they needed to change

674
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 3: the way people saw them and manage the t and a.

675
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 3: It was the most random, irrelevant, and ridiculous thing I'd

676
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 3: ever heard. Everyone else just got quiet and looked at him.

677
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 3: I challenged him. I told him that Wolverine runs around

678
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 3: entire movies with no shirt on it all, so what

679
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 3: was his point. He then made another bizarre comment of

680
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 3: everyone has to do their part. If I know a

681
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: friend is a heavy drinker, I'm not going to put

682
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 3: booze in front of him, I asked, So you're saying

683
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 3: that men are addicted to women's bodies and as a

684
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 3: result are helplessly incapable of controlling themselves and their own actions.

685
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 3: So instead the women is responsible for managing the oppression.

686
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: He repeated, everybody has to do their parts. Not fair,

687
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: but that's how it is.

688
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 3: This went on before I realized it was idiotic, and

689
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 3: I was done with the conversation.

690
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: His wife sat quietly. Everyone did. At that moment, I

691
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: knew I would never be close friends with him.

692
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 3: In my opinion, I felt he had revealed himself as

693
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: a misogynist, and it made perfect sense that he felt

694
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 3: he could set me up with his best friend where

695
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: I would be bringing the majority of the benefits to

696
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 3: the table.

697
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: As a side note, he is obsessed with being right

698
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: and sounding intellectual.

699
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 3: If you make a counter argument, he will smirk, look

700
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 3: down into the left as if you're the biggest I

701
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 3: recently got into gaming as a way to manage the

702
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: mental stress of growing my business. They all game as well. Recently,

703
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 3: we were playing online and Eric threw a fit while

704
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 3: we were losing a game. I told him all the

705
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 3: things he said we were doing wrong, he was doing

706
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: himself as well. He got louder and I got louder.

707
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 3: I will not be spoken over by some guy who

708
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: I feel.

709
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 1: Is loud and wrong all the time.

710
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 3: Then he said, you're new to the group, so you

711
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: don't know this, but I don't like being talked to

712
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 3: that way. Oh dear, I have definitely noticed. Again, everyone

713
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 3: got quiet. His best friend was also playing with us

714
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: and said to him regarding the game, Eric used, seem

715
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: to be the only one who feels this way, to

716
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 3: which Eric responded, well, make me not feel this way, yes, because.

717
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: The world revolves around you, Eric.

718
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: I'll make you not feel this way. I'll make you

719
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: not feel anything at all anymore.

720
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 3: Eric's best friend said, I don't know how to not

721
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 3: make you not feel this way. Eric went into full

722
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 3: pout mode and would not speak. Anyone familiar with gaming

723
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 3: knows that if you get into a game against other people,

724
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 3: you have to commit lest you.

725
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: Get a deserter penalty.

726
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 3: Well, Eric didn't commit on his end, and we all

727
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 3: got a deserter penalty because he had to go use

728
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 3: the restroom.

729
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: He didn't bother saying a word in advance. He just left.

730
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 3: When he came back, someone asked why we got a

731
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 3: deserter penalty, and his best friend struggled to explain why

732
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 3: because he was trying to avoid just saying what Eric did.

733
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: My final realization was that this guy, over time has

734
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 3: conditioned his friends and family to walk on eggshells around him.

735
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: I'd had enough.

736
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 3: We all ignored his pouting and kept playing, So I'm

737
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 3: back on the friendship market. I won't be proactively trying

738
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 3: to hang out with him, Although I do you find

739
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: everyone around him wonderful. I suspect none of them would

740
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 3: be friends with me anyways if he caused enough of

741
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 3: a stir about it. Sorry, I'm exhausted while typing this,

742
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 3: so please forgive me for not including each redditor's name.

743
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 3: Regarding meeting friends, the subreddit suggested meetup groups, which I've tried,

744
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 3: but we'll give it another go. I had another person

745
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: comment that they were surprised I was having trouble dating

746
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 3: in tech.

747
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: I can't explain it more beyond.

748
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 3: Most of the men in this exact niche of the

749
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 3: tech industry are much much older and married, so this

750
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: particular part of the industry isn't bustling with dating options

751
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 3: for me. But by the way, you can listen to

752
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,719
Speaker 3: full episodes with stories just like this if you hustle

753
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 3: and bustle your way on over to Spotify or iHeartRadio

754
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 3: or Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

755
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: Just search.

756
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 3: Okay, story time, I had a redditor comment that she too,

757
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: encountered many bad apples because of her looks as well.

758
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 3: You had to learn that many ways that these men

759
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 3: were asking her out seemed harmless or even romantic, but

760
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: were quite the opposite. Her comment was so dead on

761
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 3: for me that I copt we did to my computer

762
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 3: to look at every now and then as a reminder.

763
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,959
Speaker 3: I also want to reiterate that dating is not a

764
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 3: priority for me right now.

765
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: I truly am focused.

766
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 3: On building platonic friendships here so that I can find

767
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 3: some balance. And to clarify, I work with Eric in

768
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 3: the modeling industry. I soon to be full time business

769
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: is in tech and completely separate. It's just that someone

770
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 3: asked why I couldn't find a date in that field,

771
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 3: so I mentioned it.

772
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: Sorry for the confusion, and that is the end of

773
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: the story.

774
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 4: That doesn't make it difficult if I mean, if they're

775
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 4: in the same industry, they might not have to cross paths.

776
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 4: But if they're like working with the same people and stuff.

777
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 4: Then it's like, is even if she like uninvites some

778
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 4: of the things, she is still gonna have to see

779
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 4: him gonna.

780
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: I think, if you want to go the friend politic route,

781
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 3: you just go, you know, maybe start another group to

782
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 3: and be like are we rocking with Eric?

783
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Are we really rocking with Eric? Though?

784
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 2: Like, dude, it's so liberating when all of the friends

785
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 2: are like, you know, you're talking to your friends and you're.

786
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, like I didn't really like what so and

787
00:32:58,680 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: so did and they're.

788
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I also dahn like with date, and you

789
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: both you're like, you're both not like this person.

790
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the end. That is the end of that story.

791
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 4: And silly old Eric.

792
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.

793
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break with aswer More sponsors.

794
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 2: I ruined my stepson's wedding just because I laughed. Poor

795
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 2: people should never laugh. They'rowaway shortened for character account for context.

796
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 2: I have been married to my husband for just over

797
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: twenty years. We started dating when my stepkids were five

798
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: and three. Our kids are Adam twenty eight, stepkid number one,

799
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: Ben twenty six, stepkid number two, Charles twenty David seventeen

800
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 2: and Ellie thirteen. Y'all got a whole freaking full house man.

801
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

802
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Afraid Memmoth five five

803
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 2: to seven four and if you want to submit your

804
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story Time

805
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: Separate it. So Adam is getting married at the end

806
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 2: of summer to his fiance Alice twenty seven. We have

807
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 2: all been very excited for them. All of the kids

808
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 2: have roles for the wedding. Charles is the best man,

809
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: the other two boys are groomsman, and Ellie is a

810
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 2: junior bridesmaid. Last weekend, we had a dinner for my

811
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: husband's birthday. All of the kids attended, along with Alice.

812
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: The topic of the wedding came up again, and this

813
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 2: is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up

814
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: that she was so excited to go dress shopping and

815
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: that we planned to go to a bigger city in

816
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: a few weeks to get her address and me a

817
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: stepmom of the groom dress. At that, Alice looked at

818
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry.

819
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: About one dress.

820
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 2: Alice's Ellie kind of laughed and said what are you

821
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 2: expecting mom to wear a suit? Alice responded with, oh,

822
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 2: he's not going. You know, we are keeping our guests listen,

823
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 2: very limited to onlyfamily and a few close friends. What

824
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times

825
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 2: for holidays dinners just to say hi since they've been engaged.

826
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 2: This has never been brought up. That's insane. Pretty quickly

827
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 2: things escalated. The cliff Notes version is that Charles asked

828
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: them to clarify if they were choosing to uninvite me

829
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 2: now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter.

830
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 2: Why Adam says, it's because I'm not his mom. Charles

831
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: David and argued with Adam and Alice that none of

832
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: them were going to go if I wasn't invited, that

833
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 2: it was cruel to leave me out, given I've been

834
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,839
Speaker 2: his parent for majority of his life and loved him

835
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there

836
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 2: for a minute just effing shocked. Adam finally turned to

837
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: my husband and said, well, my husband told him he

838
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 2: wouldn't be going either. Adam then turned to me and

839
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: asked if I was really gonna let everyone rune his

840
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: wedding on my behalf. Oh he's just sitting there like,

841
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 2: I don't tell anyone to do anything.

842
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 4: You just didn't invite me, and then everyone said they

843
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:29,919
Speaker 4: don't want to come.

844
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:30,800
Speaker 1: That's not my fault.

845
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, here's where I might be the a hole.

846
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: I just laughed.

847
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 2: I don't know what came over me, but the entire

848
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,479
Speaker 2: thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only

849
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 2: thing I could get out. I told my husband I'd

850
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: be waiting in the car and left and then promptly

851
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 2: baled my eyes out. That's sho so upsetting. You should

852
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 2: never kind of force the parent title on a step

853
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: kid or you know, a child that you know, sure

854
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: it should always be up to their comfortability, but to

855
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 2: have thought that you were a parent figure, yeah, they

856
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 2: were literally like freaking over twenty years, you know, like

857
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: twenty three years you thought I see myself as a

858
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 2: parent to the child, this child sees it that way too,

859
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 2: and then to find out in this moment.

860
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 4: Yeah no, Yeah, that really threw me off because at first,

861
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 4: I like, he said that, oh he wasn't invited. I

862
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 4: was like, wait a second, are they just friends or something?

863
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 4: Because if you're just inviting like close friends and family.

864
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: This is family.

865
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: This is family. This is your father's wife. Yeah, and

866
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: a person who has been effectively your parent for twenty

867
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 2: three years.

868
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, like what? And this is how you're treating.

869
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,240
Speaker 2: Them anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam.

870
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 2: Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over.

871
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 2: Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over.

872
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 2: He was still adamant that I'm not invited and it's

873
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 2: their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him.

874
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 2: My husband told him, tough crap. It's their wedding and

875
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 2: they can invite whoever they want, but they can't control

876
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 2: who will actually go. He said they owe me an

877
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 2: apology and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I'm

878
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: getting text now asking what the f I did and

879
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 2: why I'm being a step monster and ruining the wedding?

880
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 4: Am I?

881
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: The ale so clearly not.

882
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 4: You literally didn't do anything. You did nothing. They were

883
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 4: attacking you and said are you going to ruin your wedding? Yeah?

884
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: When everyone else was defending you, and you went yeah,

885
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:18,439
Speaker 2: okay and then.

886
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 4: Left yeah and cried Yeah laughing at that is like

887
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 4: a completely valid response. Yeah, Like it's like people forget.

888
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: Like laughter is also just like kind of a shock

889
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 2: response some of Opie's comments. Commoner says, I feel like

890
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: there's a lot missing here. You've been married to his

891
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 2: dad since he was eight. That was years of elementary, middle,

892
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:41,879
Speaker 2: high school, college, twenty years? Is his mother living? Did

893
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 2: his fiance influence him? Just seems odd to not invite

894
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: his dad's wife of twenty years and call him not family.

895
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 2: I don't think you're the ale, but I just want

896
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 2: to know more about the past twenty years. Opie says,

897
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I had to cut a lot out for

898
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 2: character count to post. When Adam called, my husband did

899
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: ask him if I had done anything, if it was

900
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 2: related to bio. Mom never gotten along with us, if

901
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: I had overstepped in any way. Adam says, no, it's

902
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: just they want family only stepdad is invited. As far

903
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 2: as we know, I was a stay at home mom

904
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 2: for my stepkid's childhood and we had fifty to fifty.

905
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 2: My husband has always worked a lot, but has been

906
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: as involved as possible. Thousand child rearing mostly fell to me,

907
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,840
Speaker 2: though I love our kids to pieces I thought we

908
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 2: had made it clear from the beginning that I am

909
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 2: Slash was another parent that loves them, not a replacement mom.

910
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: We've never had any issues, and I thought up until

911
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: now that we were particularly close. Our communication has slowed

912
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,479
Speaker 2: since he met Alice, but he was calling me about

913
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 2: once or twice a week prior to this. I feel

914
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 2: like Alice must have influenced in some way. She must

915
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: have said, oh, well, like that's not your real mom. Yeah, maybe,

916
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 2: oh maybe it's not my real mom.

917
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe like she's got a bad relationship with a

918
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 4: step mom or something and she's projecting or so many

919
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 4: ways as could go.

920
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 1: It's so big.

921
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,280
Speaker 2: I mean, like a lot of people have that weird

922
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: idea that if it's not blood related, then it's not

923
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 2: real family. Maybe she's got like that kind of messed

924
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 2: up and maybe they're just trying to like budget and

925
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 2: using that as an.

926
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: Excuse or something like that.

927
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, weird.

928
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: Alice and I have gone shopping on occasion, gotten lunch.

929
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 2: I even went with her to the florist for the

930
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 2: wedding because her mom wasn't available and Adam got called

931
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: into work. There has to be something Slash, someone causing

932
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: an issue, and my husband and I are baffled. Commoner asks,

933
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 2: is his mom invited Obie's his Yes, yes, as far

934
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 2: as we've heard, stepdad is also invited. What we my

935
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: husband and I have never gotten along with mom, but

936
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,280
Speaker 2: still play nice as we still have fifty to fifty

937
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 2: of younger step son Ben. Adam and his mom had

938
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 2: a falling out a few years ago as she was

939
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 2: starting to treat him the way she's always treated a

940
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 2: husband and I that is poorly. I don't know how

941
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 2: to nicely explain other than she's a self absorbed person.

942
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 2: Adam hasn't wanted to talk about it much and we

943
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 2: won't push it. I know they talk and visit still,

944
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 2: but how close they are I have no idea. And

945
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: Custody of Ben at twenty six, Yes, he's disabled. He

946
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: can choose where he's staying as he likes, but mostly

947
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: sticks to a fifty to fifty schedule still unless there

948
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 2: is a family event or a vacation. He is pretty independent,

949
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: but not able to live on his own. Guardianship is

950
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 2: probably a better word for what we have now instead

951
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: of custody. Commoner says, absolutely not the a hole, assuming

952
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 2: you and Adam have gotten along fine until now. It's

953
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 2: absolutely wild that they wouldn't invite you only family and

954
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 2: a few close friends when a stepparent literally counts as

955
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 2: family and the nerve to accuse you of ruining his wedding,

956
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: I don't blame you for laughing, Ope responds. It's probably

957
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 2: also relevant, but my husband's parents are long since deceased.

958
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 2: My parents, dad, stepmom and mom have been very involved

959
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 2: with all the kids since they were little. They are

960
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: also not going, since if I'm not family, they aren't either.

961
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 2: Were your parents invited and you weren't?

962
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 4: This makes absolutely no sense.

963
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: Whoa I?

964
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,399
Speaker 2: Honestly I have no idea, like there must have been

965
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 2: some sort of perceived slight that they they think you've

966
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 2: done towards them.

967
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 4: The only thing I can think of is like, maybe

968
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,760
Speaker 4: the bio mom is paying for the wedding, and because

969
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 4: she doesn't really get along with OPI, she's like, no,

970
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 4: you shouldn't invite her, you know.

971
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 2: What I mean?

972
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 4: Maybe, but Stilla doesn't really like make that much sense.

973
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 4: It doesn't seem like that's really it.

974
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

975
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: My brother and sister in law, their daughter my cousin.

976
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 2: They call him uncle and Several of my other family

977
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 2: members that have been around since stepkids were little have

978
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,879
Speaker 2: also dropped. They are up to like twenty people. They

979
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 2: have rescinded their yes RSVP for a wedding of maybe

980
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,280
Speaker 2: sixty people.

981
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, you really wanted to keep the budget low, so

982
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 4: you know, a good job.

983
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: Good job.

984
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: Commoner says, Wait, hold up, your family was invited by

985
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 2: not you, then what the heck did Adam expect when

986
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 2: it came out You're not invited?

987
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 4: OPI says, that's my family's take. Why are they invited

988
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 4: but I'm not.

989
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 2: They aren't related to my stepkids by blood either, but

990
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: are apparently family. To be fair, my family is larger

991
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 2: than my husband's stepdads and bio moms. My stepkids were

992
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 2: the first grandkids on my side. They were not with

993
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 2: bio mom and dad's family, and we're absolutely spoiled rotten

994
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 2: growing up. Charles is now supposed to meet Adam for

995
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 2: coffee over the weekend. I warned him that truly, I

996
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 2: don't think it's coming from Adam, and to try to

997
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 2: calm about it, Commoner says, what is the nature of

998
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: relationship with Adam? Is his mother in the picture? Could

999
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: his fiance be in his ear. Opie says, I thought

1000
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: we were close besides the normal teenager. I don't have

1001
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 2: to listen to you bs phase. We have never fought.

1002
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 2: We've always had him and been fifty to fifty as

1003
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 2: a teen and on. He's butted heads with his mother.

1004
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 2: There have been times over the years where Adam has

1005
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 2: come to my husband and I and asked questions from

1006
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,240
Speaker 2: things his mother has said, but we've always been forthcoming

1007
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 2: with info. Example of that is that his mom called

1008
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,760
Speaker 2: me a home wrecker. This upset Adam. Adam came pissed

1009
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 2: at us, explained that no, bio mom and dad were

1010
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 2: long since broken up and mom even had a fiance

1011
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 2: who is not current stepdad. When I met, Dad pulled receipts. Adam,

1012
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 2: upset with mom, blew over and onto the next thing.

1013
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 2: We still deal with bio mom, though, and I do

1014
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 2: have a hard time believing she'd pull something at this point.

1015
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 2: Alice and I aren't super close, but I thought that

1016
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 2: we had a good relationship. I have always tried to

1017
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 2: include her. Sometimes she takes up my offer and sometimes

1018
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 2: she doesn't. I know she sees bio Mom quite a bit,

1019
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 2: and that side of Adam's family too. She was raised

1020
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: by our grandparents and does not talk about bioparents often.

1021
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 2: Commoner says, how did Ben react to this? At this point,

1022
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 2: I probably would not go to the wedding and would

1023
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: block him and his future wife. They would have to

1024
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 2: grovel in order to go. They made it clear they

1025
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 2: don't see you as family, so you don't need to

1026
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: do anything for them going forward, hope, He responds. Ben

1027
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: was very upset and confused. He is autistic, so what

1028
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 2: exactly the argument was about doesn't quite click, but he's

1029
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 2: mostly upset. Adam says, I'm not their parent, and his

1030
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: siblings are all fighting. We've sat him down since and

1031
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: explained that I love him dearly and will never go anywhere.

1032
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: All of us love Adam and are just hurt, and

1033
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 2: that he himself can choose to go to the wedding

1034
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: or not. He doesn't have to choose size, and we

1035
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: will still love him if he goes. Honestly, he probably will.

1036
00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: He loves cake and dancing.

1037
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 4: Oh well. He seems to be doing just fine since

1038
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 4: he hasn't asked about Adam, but will go to see

1039
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 4: his mom's tomorrow and probably see him there. More info

1040
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 4: on everyone's relationship. It was hard to include every bit

1041
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,919
Speaker 4: of context in the post because of the character limit.

1042
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 4: But I quit my job when Charles was six months old.

1043
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 4: Adam would have been eight almost nine.

1044
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 2: No affair. I met my husband when he'd been divorced

1045
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: for over a year. Biomom was engaged to someone else.

1046
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: If you ask their biomom, she'll say I always overstepped.

1047
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 2: If you ask her how, she'll give examples like I

1048
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:33,240
Speaker 2: went to school events, so did stepdad, I help with homework,

1049
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 2: I spent too much time with him. She would thank

1050
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,399
Speaker 2: me for loving her kids so much, and then turn

1051
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 2: around and brate my husband for me loving kids that

1052
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 2: aren't hers too much. Another example is that in the

1053
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 2: beginning she wanted to communicate with me directly. More said

1054
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 2: she loved the communication and that I was easier to

1055
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 2: deal with than my husband. Next argument with my husband,

1056
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 2: she brought up that I was weird and too involved

1057
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: and she shouldn't have to talk to me whatsoever. I

1058
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: haven't talked to her since. Periodically she has brought up

1059
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,879
Speaker 2: that I was easier to talk to and she does

1060
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 2: understand why communication just had to go through my husband.

1061
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,280
Speaker 2: After several years of trying to appease her. We quit

1062
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,439
Speaker 2: to just focus on keeping our family happy and support it.

1063
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 2: It's been twenty three years now of dealing with her.

1064
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 2: I've been to therapy multiple times to resolve whatever issues

1065
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 2: she says I have. It did help with strategies to

1066
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 2: deal with her. Truly, it's just that she has mental issues.

1067
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 2: Their dad did work a lot. He has always been

1068
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: on nights. It's changed slightly over the years, but we

1069
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: have step kids Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every other Monday. His

1070
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: days off have always fallen on those days so he

1071
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 2: can spend the max amount of time with them. But

1072
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,400
Speaker 2: usually he worked one to two of those nights. Very

1073
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 2: rarely would he work on days we had my step kids,

1074
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 2: usually on days we didn't. We still currently try to

1075
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 2: do dates on days when Ben is not with us.

1076
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 2: I hope that makes sense and clears up some questions

1077
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: for you. There are so many comments she's Louise Commoner says,

1078
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 2: are Alice's parents still together as she assumed, you're some

1079
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 2: kind of evil stepmother. Does she have a bad relationship

1080
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: with her stepmom and doesn't want to invite her hope,

1081
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 2: He says, her mom and dad are her grandparents. She

1082
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 2: hasn't talked about it much with me specifically, but her

1083
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 2: bio mom is deceased substances and her biofather's in prison.

1084
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 2: She talked about it some with my husband, who was

1085
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 2: adopted by his aunt and uncle father not in the picture,

1086
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 2: and mother passed away from twen he was four. My

1087
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,240
Speaker 2: stepmom is also talked with her at one point because

1088
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 2: she too was adopted by her grandparents for similar reason.

1089
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 2: It just adds to our confusion. We have such a

1090
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 2: mix of types of family, regardless of blood that my

1091
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 2: mother in law has been laying it on thick that

1092
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: I need to smooth things over because family is family,

1093
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 2: and I'm the parent, so it's my responsibility to fix it.

1094
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: But if I'm not ready to talk to Adam, and

1095
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 2: we're gonna pause there because there was a big old infodom,

1096
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 2: a lot of information, any thoughts just like processing all that. Yeah,

1097
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 2: like that kind of is feeding into my theory.

1098
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 4: Of it being like the bio mom kind of convincing

1099
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 4: Adam in a way. You know, I still don't know

1100
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 4: if I have enough evidence for that to be true.

1101
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 4: But if the bio mom clearly doesn't like Ope even

1102
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 4: more than I thought before then I would not be surprised.

1103
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 2: If she was saying all this stuff to at least

1104
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 2: be alist. Yeah, but no, Yeah, it really doesn't make sense.

1105
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 2: Why because before we said, oh, maybe you know, she's

1106
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: got that type of idea that like, oh, it's only

1107
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 2: blood related, but clearly they're inviting everyone else who was

1108
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 2: not blood related. Has a close relationship with Opie's like parents,

1109
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 2: sees them as grandparents. Alice comes from like a non

1110
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 2: traditional family background herself, So you know, it really doesn't

1111
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 2: make sense to me. The only thing that does make

1112
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: sense is your idea of the bio mom being somehow

1113
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 2: yeah right, like weasling her way in Yeah edit.

1114
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 4: Sorry my mother lol. My mother in law is deceased.

1115
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 2: And one more thoughts, Adam will always be my first son,

1116
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 2: whether he thinks of me as his mom or not.

1117
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 4: I thought we had been.

1118
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: Pretty clear throughout the years that I love him regardless

1119
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 2: of what he thinks of me, and that my involvement

1120
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 2: extends to whatever he wants of me and fair non

1121
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: negotiables mostly safety things chores is dat agreed on. When

1122
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 2: I asked that kind of thing, I couldn't get in

1123
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 2: with my therapist. This week, but I do have an

1124
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: appointment next week and we will try to formulate a

1125
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 2: well thought out response back. I am certainly not a

1126
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,959
Speaker 2: perfect person or parent, but I won't intentionally sabotage him Further.

1127
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 2: I do love a good revenge story, but that's not

1128
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 2: it when it comes to my kids. I've talked to

1129
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 2: the youngest three and they have reassured me that it's

1130
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 2: their choice whether or not they go, and I won't

1131
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 2: push them on it. I have been reminding them that

1132
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 2: he is still their brother, and it doesn't sound like him,

1133
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,800
Speaker 2: mostly for Charles. He is very outspoken and protective. Charles

1134
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: is supposed to meet with him this weekend and I'm

1135
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,439
Speaker 2: hoping we get some clear answers from that and there

1136
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 2: is an update five days later. Okay, final thoughts before

1137
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 2: we jump into it.

1138
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: I'm just ready to roll right in.

1139
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 4: I just need to know why, and we need solutions.

1140
00:48:56,239 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 2: We have so much information, for real, except for why

1141
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 2: Adam and Alice did this.

1142
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: I feel like.

1143
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 4: They're just dangling it in front of us, like I

1144
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 4: don't know, Yeah, I don't know, why would they do?

1145
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 4: I wish I pulled the freaking Scooby Doo mask off already.

1146
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need to know.

1147
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 4: Update.

1148
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 2: The short is, if you guessed it was related to

1149
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 2: Bio Mom, you were correct.

1150
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 4: Woo. You nail that.

1151
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: You nail that, Angie, we nailed that.

1152
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 3: Whoo.

1153
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 2: I didn't want this to be the case. Adam rescheduled

1154
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 2: with Charles for Monday, citing Easter weekend fair enough. He

1155
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 2: also texted my husband to let him know that him

1156
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 2: and Alice would be doing Easter with her parents. We

1157
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 2: expected that. At some point on Sunday, Elie texted Alice.

1158
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what exactly was said, but it prompted

1159
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,720
Speaker 2: Alice to spill everything that was going on with her parents.

1160
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 2: I have met them a few times, but they live

1161
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 2: a few hours away. They encouraged her and Adam to

1162
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 2: reach out to us to clear everything up. Monday, we

1163
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,879
Speaker 2: dropped Ben off to Bio Moms. He stayed in extra

1164
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 2: night for Easter fun. A few hours later, she began

1165
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 2: to blow up my husband's phone. As Ben mentioned the fight.

1166
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 2: My husband answered one call and she was screaming and

1167
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 2: promptly hung up. He texted her that the siblings argued

1168
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 2: everything's fine and that if Ben has any further questions,

1169
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 2: we will talk about it. When he's back with us.

1170
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 2: For some of the things she texted, we knew she

1171
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 2: was the root of all this.

1172
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:15,399
Speaker 1: There we go.

1173
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,919
Speaker 2: Monday, Adam also met up with Charles and he did

1174
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 2: come clean. Charles texted us to see if it was

1175
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: okay if they came over after, and we said yes,

1176
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. Adam looked a mess. He immediately

1177
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 2: began crying and apologizing. The shortened suite of it is

1178
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 2: that he's been trying to mend bridges with bio Mom.

1179
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 2: Their wedding isn't sixty people, it's blown up to about

1180
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 2: double that, and they've been struggling to figure out how

1181
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 2: to pay for it. At one of their visits, Alice

1182
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 2: let slip and bio Mom jump to help pay for things. Yeah,

1183
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 2: and then that goes into now I have control over

1184
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 2: your wedding, and you have to choose the people that

1185
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 2: I want there.

1186
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 4: See, we've read too many of these stories. We just

1187
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 4: know it's slowly snowballed from there, from small requests to

1188
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 4: big requests. I'm not sure what the final nail in

1189
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 4: the coffin was, but it ended with bio Mom requesting

1190
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 4: I not be there. Adam said it was easier to

1191
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 4: hurt me than risk world War three.

1192
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 1: With his mom. By the way, it would be.

1193
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 4: World War three.

1194
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 2: If you don't listen to full episodes of stories just

1195
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:16,879
Speaker 2: like this, just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio

1196
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 2: and search a book the story.

1197
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 4: Time or else we declare declare war on you.

1198
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts before we finish this story off, now

1199
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 2: that we finally have the truth, I've freaking told you,

1200
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 2: freaking I've told you called it so too accurately.

1201
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just so many stories again with like the

1202
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 4: parents or whoever paying for it now has like it's

1203
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 4: usually control over the guest.

1204
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 1: List that is the most common. Yeah. So yeah, I'm

1205
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:44,400
Speaker 1: not surprised.

1206
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 4: I'm glad that things are now coming to you know,

1207
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 4: we're getting a solution on a light. Yeah, Adam knows.

1208
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 4: Adam feels bad. I'm sorry.

1209
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: Adam's now you You're good. I forgive you. I you know, I.

1210
00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 2: Personally forgive you. I don't know about Adam, I mean,

1211
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 2: I don't know about Ope. Yeah, I think this is

1212
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 2: definitely something that you can come back from, Adam, Like,

1213
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: you just have to have a conversation and then hopefully

1214
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: maybe everyone will come back to his wedding. Absolutely, but

1215
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 2: let's see what Adam does. Alice's parents were less than

1216
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: pleased to find out how they've been with the wedding

1217
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 2: and budget, and even less so at bio Mom's antics.

1218
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 2: They're trying to figure out how to start covering the

1219
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: payments BioBomb is made. We've decided to help some with this.

1220
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 2: Adam also asked if we could meet again in a

1221
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 2: few days with Alice, and we've said yes. There is

1222
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: still a lot of ground to cover for this to

1223
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 2: be close to mended. I am still hurt, but mostly

1224
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 2: I'm angry on behalf of my oldest son. And that

1225
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:37,839
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

1226
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 4: Wow, good ending. It's not over yet, but we're on

1227
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 4: the way to figuring it all out.

1228
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah that's all you can ask for.

1229
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 4: Absolutely. Absolutely. I love a story with a solution at

1230
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 4: the end. To me, too nice, But that is the

1231
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 4: end of that story.

1232
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

1233
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1234
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: Ter his boyfriend makes the family uncomfortable, but she sees

1235
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 4: nothing wrong. Well, get her out of there.

1236
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:06,280
Speaker 1: Trigger warning.

1237
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,839
Speaker 4: This does talk about emotionally relationships, so if that's going

1238
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 4: to affect you in a negative way, please.

1239
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,800
Speaker 1: Just scooch on to the next video.

1240
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 4: Okay, so let me start off by saying, my older

1241
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 4: sister has never been very mature, but she has always

1242
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 4: been fun to be around, even if she hasn't been

1243
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 4: the best role model. By the way, this comes from

1244
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 4: a suitcase under each eye. And if you want to

1245
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the our slash owcase

1246
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 4: storytime except credit. So last February, she seemed to be

1247
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 4: really changing for the better. She started working out, seeing

1248
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 4: a therapist, broke up with her harmful boyfriend, and was

1249
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 4: all around starting to take better care of herself. We

1250
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,280
Speaker 4: were thrilled. She and I have never been very close

1251
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 4: because we were polar opposites when it comes to personality.

1252
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 4: I'm outgoing and outspoken and she's painfully shy and insecure.

1253
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 4: But we finally began forming an adult relationship and I

1254
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 4: was so happy to have the kind of older sister

1255
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 4: that I could look up to. Two months later, she

1256
00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 4: meets this guy Jerry, and things go downhill fast. She

1257
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 4: starts pulling away from the family, claiming that she's a

1258
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 4: black sheep and we don't understand her.

1259
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: Like he does.

1260
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 4: She starts picking fights over the tiniest things, stop working out,

1261
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 4: stop seeing her therapist, and stops putting any effort into anything.

1262
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 1: But him super concerning.

1263
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 4: One of the things that really set this all into motion,

1264
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,439
Speaker 4: I think, was that my mom had booked a beach

1265
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 4: house vacation for everyone and asked for just family. My

1266
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 4: sister through a huge fit, screaming and crying, asking why

1267
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 4: our older sister's husband of seven years was allowed to

1268
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 4: go but not her new boyfriend. My parents tried to

1269
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 4: be as understanding as possible and handled it as best

1270
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 4: they could, but I think she got it into her

1271
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 4: head that they left him out on purpose. Keep in mind,

1272
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 4: my younger sister and I also had boyfriends who weren't

1273
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 4: allowed to come. Also, my parents had paid for the

1274
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 4: house and her plane ticket because she had told them

1275
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 4: that she couldn't afford to come otherwise. In the past year,

1276
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 4: things have gotten only worse. There have been a couple

1277
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 4: of instances I'd like to highlight. Specifically, first time we

1278
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 4: met him, we all went out for a trip to

1279
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 4: the lake. I tried paddleboarding for the first time, but

1280
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 4: ended up falling and injuring my hand. I started crying,

1281
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 4: and he asked to see it. I showed him my hand,

1282
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,479
Speaker 4: which was already swelling and bleeding, which he took into

1283
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 4: his and proceeded to smack it pretty forcefully. That's not

1284
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 4: medically advised. No, so here, I'll fix it bam. Then

1285
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 4: he and my sister started cackling while I began to sob,

1286
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 4: and my dad took me to the er. He did

1287
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 4: not apologize, even after finding out it had been severely spring.

1288
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 4: It's a monster, and my mom and little sister stayed

1289
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 4: with him over night. He walked into the guest room

1290
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 4: without knocking while my mom was changing and wearing just

1291
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 4: a braw and underwear. She was startled and asked him

1292
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 4: to leave, but he said that it wasn't a big

1293
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 4: deal because she was basically in a bathing suit. He

1294
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:44,280
Speaker 4: then hugged her and left the room.

1295
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if that ever happened to like, I'm trying

1296
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 2: to think, like this is my dad, or like this

1297
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 2: happened to my mom. Yeah, my dad freaking growing him

1298
00:55:53,480 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: absolutely No, Oh no, my god, incredibly inappropriate, dude, I'm shocked.

1299
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 1: Oh oh.

1300
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 4: While my sister twenty went to stay with them, she

1301
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 4: witnessed him yelling inappropriate things at women jogging while they

1302
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 4: were driving to a restaurant, and when they returned to

1303
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 4: my older sister's apartment, Jerry tried to bully my younger

1304
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:16,839
Speaker 4: sister in a smoking devil's let us with him. When

1305
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,319
Speaker 4: my pregnant older sister met them at a Christmas party,

1306
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 4: he stood over her and wouldn't move until she got

1307
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 4: up to give him a hug. At the same party,

1308
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 4: he drank six to eight in about two hours and

1309
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 4: then decided that he needed to leave to drive back home.

1310
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:31,880
Speaker 2: That's what I'm calling the police. Hello, police, m h

1311
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 2: got a drunk driver on the road.

1312
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1313
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 4: He was adamant that only he could drive them home,

1314
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 4: even with my mom and uncle encouraging my sister to

1315
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 4: drive instead. My dad wasn't there at the time. He

1316
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 4: met my best friend of twenty years for thirty minutes,

1317
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,320
Speaker 4: and then proceeded to speculate that he was on substances

1318
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,800
Speaker 4: and a junkie because he went to the bathroom twice

1319
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 4: between us going to lunch and leaving the restaurant. When

1320
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 4: my sister had her baby, he refused to sit to

1321
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 4: hold the child, insisting that he was fine.

1322
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 1: And accusing us of thinking that he he was too

1323
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: not to drop him.

1324
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 4: I went to visit my sister, and before I left,

1325
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,760
Speaker 4: he insisted on hugging me. I tried to be friendly

1326
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 4: and went in for a hug. He then proceeded to

1327
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 4: squeeze and shake me. I told him over and over

1328
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 4: that he was making me uncomfortable, but he wouldn't put

1329
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,560
Speaker 4: me down. He took a long, nosey whiff of my

1330
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 4: hair before I finally shoved myself away from him, and

1331
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 4: he started laughing at my obvious discomfort. I'm so disgusted,

1332
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. I looked to my sister for support,

1333
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 4: and instead she told me that his hobby was to

1334
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 4: go up to strangers and sniff their hair and then

1335
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 4: challenge them if they acted uncomfortable.

1336
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 1: You're a freak.

1337
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 2: And also just totally bypassing people's rounderies. No, it's harassment,

1338
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: absolutely well full on, as people.

1339
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 4: Who like enjoy making other people uncomfortable, just the worst

1340
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 4: have to stay away from them because worst people. It's

1341
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 4: not funny. No, it's just so creepy.

1342
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1343
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, really really not okay, And unfortunately, some part

1344
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: of improving this situation is you standing up for yourself

1345
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 2: and saying don't touch me, get off me. Do not

1346
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 2: be afraid to say do not touch me.

1347
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1348
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 4: He got into a huge row with my aunt about

1349
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 4: vaccines and how bad they are and unnecessary. Wow, shocking,

1350
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 4: that's what he believes. My sister just sat there and

1351
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 4: twiddled her thumbs. Keep in mind, my dad used to

1352
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 4: make vaccines.

1353
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

1354
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 4: When my sister came to us at the one time

1355
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 4: this year, he called her in a panic about how

1356
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 4: his brother was passed away from a construction accident, and

1357
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,200
Speaker 4: it turned into his brother's friend who had passed away

1358
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 4: and his brother was going to lose his leg. Then

1359
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 4: it was his brother's legs that were just broken. Then

1360
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 4: it was his brother was totally fine and was being

1361
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 4: discharged from the hospital. This all occurred in the span

1362
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 4: of twenty four hours that she was with us. There

1363
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 4: is so much more, but I could go on forever,

1364
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 4: and I don't really think that it's necessary. He lies

1365
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 4: about everything and then changes his stories than when he's

1366
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 4: caught he gets insanely defensive. My sister refuses to talk

1367
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 4: about it, even when we've tried to approach her about

1368
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 4: these issues calmly and rationally. She instead sees the fault

1369
00:58:57,720 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 4: in us, claiming that we're elitist and trying to take

1370
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 4: her away from her one true love. She has made

1371
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 4: it clear in the past month that if we do

1372
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 4: not accept him, we do not accept her, and that

1373
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 4: she is willing to cut all contact with us to

1374
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 4: preserve her relationship with him. At this point, I have

1375
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 4: lost all respect for my sister. She's always been immature,

1376
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 4: but in the past year she has turned into a

1377
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 4: manipulative bully. My parents have tried talking to her. They

1378
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 4: exchanged emails because she refuses to talk on the phone,

1379
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 4: but she won't hear a single negative word about him.

1380
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 4: She keeps attacking my parents like it's their fault. She

1381
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 4: refuses to respond to their emails now, but continues to

1382
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 4: send hurtfull, malicious emails to them. Is there any way

1383
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,880
Speaker 4: to save this relationship without completely ostracizing her? And there

1384
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 4: is an update? But what do we think?

1385
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 2: I don't even know. I mean, at that point you've

1386
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 2: talked about it. I think it's just telling her, hey,

1387
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,480
Speaker 2: like we love and support you. Yeah, but it's also like,

1388
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 2: you know, prioritizing your safety.

1389
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1390
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 2: Absolutely, there's only so much you can do before she

1391
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 2: has to make that final step herself. Yeah, So like,

1392
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 2: don't put yourself at risk in the process.

1393
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I don't really think this is necessarily her

1394
01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 4: being immature. I think it's very common for in situations

1395
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 4: like this, for like if she's you know, attacking the

1396
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,919
Speaker 4: family or like insulting these people or whatever, and you know,

1397
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 4: any little thing that they do is an insult to

1398
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 4: her and her boyfriend, it's very common for that to

1399
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 4: be the boyfriend like talking that into her. And then

1400
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:21,959
Speaker 4: I mean he's probably saying all the things that she's

1401
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 4: saying to them. Absolutely if he's saying these things, then

1402
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 4: it's probably like, oh, if you don't defend me, then

1403
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 4: then you're just as bad or something like that. So

1404
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 4: she's probably just trying to do whatever she can to

1405
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 4: like appease the boyfriend me because she's in this manipulative relationship.

1406
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 4: But we do have an update, So thanks to everyone

1407
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 4: who responded to the original post. Your advice was appreciated

1408
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 4: and I really.

1409
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 1: Did try to follow it well.

1410
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 4: I wish I could say that my sister has come

1411
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 4: around and everything is better, but in fact, everything is

1412
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 4: much much worse since my last post two months ago.

1413
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 4: My sister has moved and won't tell us where, is

1414
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 4: refusing to talk to my parents, specifically my mom, and

1415
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 4: when well as sisters meet up to hang out, she

1416
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 4: does a complete one eighty whenever any of this trouble

1417
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:06,640
Speaker 4: with Jerry is brought up. My younger sisters and I

1418
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 4: have decided to cut contact with her because her behavior

1419
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 4: and anger directed towards our parents is unacceptable. It's also

1420
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 4: come out recently that she has said some pretty hurtful

1421
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 4: things about all of us, including that my older sister

1422
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 4: and her husband are only married because of their son,

1423
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:21,959
Speaker 4: and that she thinks that it would have been better

1424
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 4: if my parents had stopped having kids after her so

1425
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 4: that they could have paid for her college and all

1426
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,080
Speaker 4: of her needs. I don't really understand how you can

1427
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 4: wish people in your family had never been born. I

1428
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 4: would maybe understand if she was joking or said it

1429
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 4: once out of anger, but she's said it multiple times

1430
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 4: and seemed serious every time. My oldest sister, thirty one female,

1431
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 4: is keeping in contact with her. Now we think that

1432
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 4: she's the only one allowed to see my sister because

1433
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 4: Jerry thinks that my older sister likes it. My oldest

1434
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 4: sister and her husband can't stand Jerry, but want to

1435
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 4: act as the bridge in case my sister ever comes

1436
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 4: to her senses. I don't know how much of my

1437
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 4: sister's behavior is influenced by Jerry or if this is

1438
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 4: just her deciding to be cruel, but these past couple

1439
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 4: of months have been really My parents tried to keep

1440
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 4: everything civil, but my sister seems to have this anger

1441
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 4: in her. She's taken to Facebook pretty juvenile, I know,

1442
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 4: with declarations of being happy for the first time in

1443
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 4: her life and verbally attacking family and friends who post

1444
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 4: anything that doesn't agree with her opinions wholeheartedly. She's really

1445
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 4: isolating herself from my family and all but two of

1446
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,840
Speaker 4: her friends. They approve of Jerry, so they're welcome in

1447
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 4: her life anyway. My mom is done with her behavior.

1448
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 4: My sister took a trip to Iceland, and when my

1449
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 4: mom asked her how it was, my sister went off

1450
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 4: about how she's still upset that the family hates Jerry,

1451
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 4: that she doesn't want to associate with us if we

1452
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 4: can't accept everything about him.

1453
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 1: She wouldn't even.

1454
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,880
Speaker 4: Listen when my mom asked her to explain his behavior.

1455
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 4: She was completely irrational and said some terrible things to

1456
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 4: intentionally hurt my mom's feeling. I think my dad is

1457
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 4: still hoping that she'll come to her senses. He gets

1458
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 4: really defensive when any of us bring her up. He's

1459
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 4: always felt a special attachment to my sister because they're

1460
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 4: the only lefties in the family, and my sister has

1461
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 4: tried so hard to be like him. I understand that,

1462
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 4: but I think that he's hoping for a day that

1463
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 4: will never come. Personally, I think my sister is comfortable

1464
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 4: and harmful relationships. She's always been a very manipulative person,

1465
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 4: and she's always wanted to be the black sheep of

1466
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 4: the family. Now with Jerry, she has more of an

1467
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 4: excuse than ever. I think she's too arrogant of a

1468
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 4: person to even realize how wrong she is about Jerry.

1469
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 1: By the way, you.

1470
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 4: Will never be wrong about finding full episodes with more

1471
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 4: stories just like this one on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or

1472
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 4: iHeartRadio or your favorite podcast app. Just search. Okay, storytime,

1473
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 4: do it, do it, man, There's still a little bit

1474
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 4: more in the story.

1475
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:31,760
Speaker 1: But holy crap.

1476
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean sad, very sad, very sad, very sad.

1477
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 4: It's good that your older sister is still like keeping contact.

1478
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 4: Mm hmm. Yeah, that's kind of a big sacrifice on

1479
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 4: her end. Yeah, that's yeah. But that's good though, because

1480
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 4: maybe eventually, either she'll realize that she needs to get

1481
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 4: out of the relationship or he will get tired of

1482
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 4: her or something like that, and yeah, leave and she'll

1483
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 4: have someone to fall back on. But there is a

1484
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 4: little bit more to the story, for sure. If it

1485
01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 4: seems like I have a lot of animosity towards my sister,

1486
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 4: because she has been intentionally cruel to my family and

1487
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 4: our family friends these past couple of months. She said

1488
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 4: a lot of hurtful things to the people who have

1489
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 4: been so good to her, including to a friend who

1490
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 4: is dealing with and doesn't have time.

1491
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:13,440
Speaker 1: For her crap.

1492
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 4: And I think even if we are able to forgive her,

1493
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 4: we aren't going to forget Meanwhile, Jerry hasn't tried to

1494
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 4: contact us and help clear up any misunderstanding. I'm sure

1495
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 4: he's just enjoying watching my sister implode. And that is

1496
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:25,760
Speaker 4: the end of that story.