1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Grandma wants her to stop dressing like a man. Dig 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: your grave, Granny, this is my wedding. 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 4 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 3: I mean, if you are at your own wedding, I 5 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,479 Speaker 3: think you could choose what you would wear. 6 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: I think you have the option to do what you 7 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: want on your day. 8 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. 9 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 3: And because at your wedding you can tell anyone to 10 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,119 Speaker 3: go dig their own grave. That's true, and they have 11 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 3: to do it mister b style and then stay in 12 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 3: that under hours minimum fifty hours, surviving underground, live streamed yea, 13 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 3: until they're dead and then it's a dead stream. 14 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,319 Speaker 1: Alrighty, let's dive in here. I thirty two female, am 15 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: getting married to my fiance forty one meal. 16 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 3: Congrats, congrats Opie. Love is in the air tonight at 17 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 3: okop oh. Yeah, it is the Rose of the Bachelor. 18 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 3: Aurette is getting given to one of the Ope people 19 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 3: and they're going to get married. 20 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: So we're getting married next year. After we got engaged, 21 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: I suggested it might be nice if my fiance's niece, 22 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: who's fifteen, if she wanted to, could be a bridesmaid 23 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: as well. 24 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 25 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:56,959 Speaker 1: Yeah. 26 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 2: Include the old famclude fan family a fan. 27 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: Keep the money in the family. 28 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 2: And keep the wedding body in the family. 29 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,320 Speaker 1: At the day of my daughter's wedding. So I've only 30 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: met her a couple of times, so we're not really 31 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: that close. But she seems like a cool kid, and 32 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: I thought it might be a nice way for us 33 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: to bond slash get to know each other, slash involve 34 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 1: her in the wedding. 35 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 3: It seems like winds across the board. If you're looking 36 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 3: on a board, it says when when, when, when win win, 37 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 3: that many wins. 38 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: That many wins. In a side note, she's the only 39 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: niece slash nephew on either side of the family, so 40 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: this is her only niece or nephew. Anyway, cut to 41 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: a few weeks ago and we're at my fiance's hometown 42 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: to visit his family and discuss wedding related stuff. His brother, 43 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 1: cister in law, and daughter came over, and I noticed 44 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 1: this time she was dressed a little bit more androgynous 45 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: than I remember. Androgyns androgenus could be either one. Pick 46 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: your flavor. 47 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 3: It's not vanilla ice cream, it's not chocolate ice cream. 48 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 3: It's just chocolate cream. 49 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: It's just cream. 50 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 2: It's just creazy, straight from the cow. 51 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: The topic moved to wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses, and 52 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: I can see my niece looked immediately uncomfortable. 53 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: Oh she's like, not for me, yo. 54 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: Not about it. Her parents, her mom really and grandma, 55 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,399 Speaker 1: were making comments about how she needed to be more 56 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: feminine and brush her hair, et cetera, et cetera, and 57 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: how nice it would look to see her like that. 58 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, this had nerves me, as I was 59 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: very much a tomboy as a teenager, even though I'm 60 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: not really that way anymore, and it absolutely broke me 61 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: whenever any of my relatives would say anything like that 62 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 1: to her. 63 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 2: YO, just let kids dress the way they want. 64 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: This shirt isn't doing anything to you, except, you know, 65 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 3: maybe looking stylish. 66 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: Ooh ooh flexing on these ohs now. Eventually, her mom 67 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: made a comment along the lines of it'll be so 68 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: nice to see you dressed up like a girl for 69 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 1: a wan song for once. Ouch. Excuse me, mama. 70 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 3: I know this is like such a Karen thing to say. Yeah, 71 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 3: when the Karen is your mom, dude, when the Karen's 72 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 3: on the inside, inside, the. 73 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: Karens inside, that's when it goes left. 74 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 3: Hit a board on your mother on your mother reverse 75 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 3: reverse abortion, which you can't do anymore. 76 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 2: Is Roe v Wade is being overturned. 77 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: Yep, woh craziness. After she said this, my niece looked 78 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: really sad, embarrassed, and oubsessed. So in response, because that 79 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,079 Speaker 1: really hit a nerve, I immediately told her that my maid 80 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: honor would be wearing a trouser suit for the wedding 81 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: and not a dress. And then I'd given all the 82 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: bridesmaids the options of wearing whatever they want as long 83 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: as it's in the wedding color. 84 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as it's in the. 85 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 3: Wedding color, then it's okay, uh OPI for your wedding, 86 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 3: or if you have a wedding, what colors would you use? 87 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: Everyone would have to wear ripped up like like whenever 88 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: you go to like a Monster Truck rally, Like that's 89 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: the uniform, big baggy like I'm seeing like some Metallica shirt, 90 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: some like ripped jeans, like can. 91 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 2: I wear my like my jean booty shorts? 92 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: Definitely. 93 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 3: When I was a rave child back in the day, 94 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 3: we would bring a bunch of construction vests that we 95 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 3: had screen printed the words of Bootville construction on and 96 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 3: then we would go like rip it up in the crowd, 97 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 3: and if there was someone who could rival our dance moves, 98 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 3: we would give them a construction vest. And then you're like, 99 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 3: you're now part of the boot veil crew. It felt 100 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 3: like we were starting a. 101 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: Community building Sam. You know. So at this point I 102 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: pulled out my phone and started showing her photos of 103 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: ideas my friend had sent me. A jumpsuit, a trouser suit, 104 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 1: a trailer suit, et cetera. Dude, a jumpsuit sounds sick. Dude, 105 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,559 Speaker 1: a jumpsuit at the wedding. And I let my niece 106 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: know that she could pick out anything she wanted. She 107 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: could even wear jeans and sneakers if that made her 108 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: more comfortable. And now it's a wedding, not a fashion show. OP. 109 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: I'm with you now. My niece perked up a bit 110 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: when I asked her, but her mom looked really pissed off. 111 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like, how dare you express yourself with the 112 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 3: way you desire? 113 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: How dare you wear pants? Yeah? Don't you know that's 114 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 1: the first that's the gateway to murdering people. She since 115 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 1: asked my fiance to pressure me into getting all the 116 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: bridesmaid's dresses so their daughter will have to wear one, 117 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: which woll no, it's her wedding. Who asked? 118 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 2: No, one asks you. 119 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: Now, my husband didn't give a crap what she wears. 120 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,039 Speaker 1: But obviously he also doesn't want his family and me 121 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: to be arguing on the wedding day. So I don't 122 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: want to back down because I know what it feels 123 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: like to be pressured and wearing something it makes you uncomfortable. 124 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: But on the other hand, I know it's only for 125 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,599 Speaker 1: a day and I do want to make family happy. 126 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for trying to overrule 127 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: her parents? 128 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 3: I don't think Op is the a hole because he's 129 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 3: trying to do like a really good thing for this kid. 130 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 2: And like that. 131 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 3: Moment of like seeing that discomfort and saying like you 132 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 3: can be yourself. That can be a super empowering moment 133 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 3: that travels for years down the line. 134 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, it can translate into so many things. 135 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I could be like, hey, like this person accepts 136 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 3: me for who I am, so maybe I can accept 137 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 3: myself and keep being who I am. 138 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: And just like teenager, like that's that's the phase where 139 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: it's like the worst to get shut down for trying. 140 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: To Yeah, yeah, because like you know, you get bullied 141 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 3: enough and it takes forever or you never come out 142 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,039 Speaker 3: of your cell again. And so I think, like the 143 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 3: parents are definitely in the wrong. I don't think much 144 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:06,159 Speaker 3: peace will be disrupted if you allow her to wear 145 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 3: what she wants exactly, especially because your own 146 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: Wedding, your wedding, and that is that, that's that.