Speaker 1: From Transmitter Media. This is a rebel eaters club and
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Virgie Tobar. I can't wait for you
Speaker 1: to meet my guest today. Her name is Vashina Turner.
Speaker 1: Vashina is an artist and musician based out of Fresno, California.
Speaker 1: She is the bassist in one of my all time
Speaker 1: favorite bands, Fatty Cakes and the Puff Pastries. They have
Speaker 1: a riot girl sound and they sing about things like
Speaker 1: working at the mall and navigating fat phobia. They hand
Speaker 1: out pizza from the stage. They have backup singers called
Speaker 1: the Casadia Angels. The lead singer Amber plays the xylophone
Speaker 1: while wailing into the mic, and Vashina is right there
Speaker 1: front and center stage with Amber shredding on her bass.
Speaker 1: They are awesome. The first time I saw them perform,
Speaker 1: it was like that scene in Wayne World, the first
Speaker 1: time Wage sees Cassandra heart eyes for days. WHOA. But
Speaker 1: before that magical moment, Vashina was deep in diet culture
Speaker 1: for a long time, and her relationship to her base
Speaker 1: and to being in a band coincided with her decision
Speaker 1: to stop trying to make herself small. I love how
Speaker 1: she taught me that creativity and art can be part
Speaker 1: of saying goodbye to diet culture forever. Sorry, sorry, no, Vashina,
Speaker 1: Welcome to Rebel Eaters Club. Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: I'm just so excited to talk to you. Before we
Speaker 1: even get started into the questions, we have to have
Speaker 1: our snack. Okay, what are we eating together today? Oh?
Speaker 1: So we will be snacking on one of my most favorite,
Speaker 1: most delicious and decadent treats, crime brolet. I love that
Speaker 1: you can like crack that sugar on the top. It's
Speaker 1: very like creamy and very textural. So that's why I
Speaker 1: ended up wanting to do this with you, because you know,
Speaker 1: you're just so perfect and textural. Oh my goodness, I
Speaker 1: feel the same way about you. Odd thing. I have
Speaker 1: many thoughts about the crembro let as metaphor for our
Speaker 1: entire relationship, but I'll get into that in a minute.
Speaker 1: Should we tap the sugar together for the for the
Speaker 1: benefit of those listening? Oh, let's do that, Yes, okay? Three? Two,
Speaker 1: one ooh ooh. I hit the plate too. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I love it. M and mine came with fruit, so
Speaker 1: I just got a raspberry and mine was just really good.
Speaker 1: I love that. I mean, I just took my first
Speaker 1: bite and I'm just immediately transported. It's like this whole
Speaker 1: body experience. It's like the caramelized sugar, It's just so good.
Speaker 1: And then the creaminess. It's thick with like three seas
Speaker 1: maybe fourteen seas, like thick um, and I just love
Speaker 1: as creamy dessert. That's like the same same, I have
Speaker 1: to tell you ahead m hmm. When I found out
Speaker 1: that you had chosen Crembroulet Um, I was so excited
Speaker 1: because Crembroulet and Tirammy Sue were like rallying cries for
Speaker 1: me after I left diet culture, like I had been
Speaker 1: in the prison of diet culture for so long, and
Speaker 1: all I wanted was these foods that symbolized in my
Speaker 1: mind like such a celebration of life, yes, and a
Speaker 1: celebration of the body and its capacity to feel, you know,
Speaker 1: after years of diet culture, it felt like those were
Speaker 1: those were like my patriarchy smashing tools of choice. Was
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm going to talk about you,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to be a feminist and I'm going
Speaker 1: to write about this, but I'm also going to just
Speaker 1: bask in pleasure and deliciousness and all the things that
Speaker 1: I felt like I had been told I wasn't allowed
Speaker 1: to have as both a fat person and I think
Speaker 1: as a woman. Dessert was sort of this symbol of
Speaker 1: aliveness that felt really powerful. I mirror that so much because,
Speaker 1: you know, like so much of my young life was
Speaker 1: like really trying to fit into a space that I
Speaker 1: will never be able to be admitted into, you know,
Speaker 1: like as a fat, black queer woman, you know, like
Speaker 1: I had to or I felt at least that I
Speaker 1: had to try to fit into a society that I,
Speaker 1: like I said that I would never actually fit into.
Speaker 1: But one of the coolest moments was like after high school,
Speaker 1: like leaving that space of feeling like you're under this microscope.
Speaker 1: Like after leaving that feeling in that space, actually got
Speaker 1: a job at a French bakery and I would ride
Speaker 1: my bike to work and every day at the end
Speaker 1: of the day we would like be able to take
Speaker 1: snacks home, and like I would always ride home with
Speaker 1: my little baguettes and my little crim broulets and my
Speaker 1: little fruit tarts, seeing now like just in my basket,
Speaker 1: and you know, I just in those moments, I just
Speaker 1: felt so free and so like comfortable in my body,
Speaker 1: and I wanted the world to know I was about
Speaker 1: to eat all this delicious food. And so I feel
Speaker 1: like those those really for me were the days of
Speaker 1: accepting accepting this body that I'm in and loving it
Speaker 1: and like really treating it to the finest, finest desserts,
Speaker 1: you know us. And I think that the element that
Speaker 1: is really powerful about it too is sort of that
Speaker 1: it's a little extra, you know, like there's something a
Speaker 1: little bit like that sense of you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: just going to make peace with food. I am going
Speaker 1: to love the fucking shit out of food. And I
Speaker 1: feel like for me, that's what this dessert represents absolutely.
Speaker 1: And I never would have imagined being able to eat
Speaker 1: French pastry like and be happy and fat, you know,
Speaker 1: like I would never have thought of that as a kid.
Speaker 1: You know, there's just so many other layers of other
Speaker 1: people's things that made it so that I felt I
Speaker 1: wasn't worthy of this food. Yes, I mean I want
Speaker 1: to go back to that little shy kid who didn't
Speaker 1: feel like they could take up a lot of space.
Speaker 1: Can you talk about what your upbringing was like when
Speaker 1: it comes to food and eating, Like, what lessons did
Speaker 1: you pick up where and how Oh, so most of
Speaker 1: my family is fat, you know, like we have lived
Speaker 1: this life. This is us. But with that being said,
Speaker 1: because we are also black, because I live in a
Speaker 1: very conservative town that is primarily white, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of trying to fit into whiteness so that we
Speaker 1: could survive, you know, and so fatness came into that.
Speaker 1: It was a part of that. It was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so you have to be small. You have to make
Speaker 1: sure that nobody's looking at you or picking you out
Speaker 1: or othering you. So you have to try to fit
Speaker 1: in right, you have to be little. And my mother
Speaker 1: at some point was like, cool, let's get you on
Speaker 1: some diet pills or going to get you on a
Speaker 1: meal plan. We're going to figure this out. You know.
Speaker 1: There was just a lot of practice of making sure
Speaker 1: that people didn't know we were poor, make sure people
Speaker 1: didn't like pay so much attention to my blackness or fatness,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I had to try to divert a lot.
Speaker 1: But then eventually I just looked around, to be honest,
Speaker 1: I just looked around at my aunties and my cousins
Speaker 1: and my mom herself, you know, and I just like,
Speaker 1: look at how happy we are together. Look at how
Speaker 1: much we enjoy cooking. Like my mother's a caterers sometimes,
Speaker 1: and Nike has her own business. But we spent so
Speaker 1: much time like trying to fit into the spaces that
Speaker 1: we were in that I felt like I couldn't even
Speaker 1: be excited about food when I was younger. I couldn't
Speaker 1: even be happy that my mom was making this giant
Speaker 1: pot of gumbo, you know that smelled delicious, Like I
Speaker 1: could smell it on my walk home from school, you know,
Speaker 1: like all the way like it just I couldn't be
Speaker 1: happy about those things, it felt like. But as I
Speaker 1: grew up, as as my relationship with my mother and
Speaker 1: family progressed, we started celebrating each other so much more,
Speaker 1: and even helping with my mother's business and so like,
Speaker 1: really the denial of food started wearing away. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just then became more of a celebration of taste and
Speaker 1: flavor and her being really successful in being a cook,
Speaker 1: And so it just became less important to fit into
Speaker 1: white culture because we finally had something that we could
Speaker 1: do with each other that we could like celebrate as
Speaker 1: a family. Yeah, I mean I really relate to parts
Speaker 1: of what you're talking about. I think in my house,
Speaker 1: diet culture and restriction was about assimilating into whiteness and americanness,
Speaker 1: like American ways of eating. And also I don't think
Speaker 1: I'd ever really realize it until you just said it,
Speaker 1: that fitting in is about being small. Whether it's your
Speaker 1: energy or your passion or your love or how you
Speaker 1: eat or your body. You know, we're expected to shave
Speaker 1: these things down, and that it's one hundred percent connected
Speaker 1: to survival. Yes, even how you speak and when you
Speaker 1: laugh or enjoy life, you know you have to do
Speaker 1: it quietly. Yes, absolutely. And I'm kind of curious, right,
Speaker 1: like what was happening as you were transitioning from this
Speaker 1: person who was a little bit, you know, trying to
Speaker 1: fit in to someone who was on this amazing beach
Speaker 1: cruiser with baguettes and Crme brulet, Like did you have
Speaker 1: an artistic practice and how did that shift when you
Speaker 1: started to sort of make that shift in your own life. Oh? So,
Speaker 1: I feel like first it was going to punk shows,
Speaker 1: to be honest, Like, you know, I came from a
Speaker 1: household of folks who loved gangster app and R and
Speaker 1: B and gospel music and all this stuff. So just
Speaker 1: even going to a space where the music was so
Speaker 1: different was already a big change in my life, but
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved like, Okay, cool, I'm going
Speaker 1: to step out of the archetype that I've seen in
Speaker 1: front of me. I want to experience bumping into a
Speaker 1: bunch of people at a show, and I want to
Speaker 1: experience like being on stage and screaming about my experiences.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to create in all of
Speaker 1: these different ways. So I really just started going to shows.
Speaker 1: And then one of the shows i'd gone to was
Speaker 1: this band Needy Evy and Audrey, the drummer for Fatty
Speaker 1: Cakes now was the drummer in that band, And truly
Speaker 1: I fell in love. It was an all girl band.
Speaker 1: They were playing like punk and indie music. They were
Speaker 1: taking up a space that it was. The lineup was
Speaker 1: nothing but men and them, you know, and you know,
Speaker 1: I would stand toward the back, you know, because I
Speaker 1: kind of didn't want to like disrupt. Even at that moment,
Speaker 1: I was still diminishing myself, you know. Even then at first,
Speaker 1: I was still trying to be the black girl in
Speaker 1: the back so that I wasn't picked out. But I
Speaker 1: just fell in love with watching them play. I needed
Speaker 1: that space. I just I felt so powered seeing another
Speaker 1: black person taking up space in this world that again
Speaker 1: was never afforded to us. So I just kept watching them.
Speaker 1: Watching them was like, Oh, I'm gonna get in a
Speaker 1: band that's all women. We're gonna do this. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be so much fun. And that just changed my whole life. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm sort of curious if like for you, like,
Speaker 1: what does your creative practice like, I mean, I'm curious
Speaker 1: about that you're talking about how it emerged at the
Speaker 1: same time as you sort of made these decisions to
Speaker 1: stop trying to fit into certain molds, like what role
Speaker 1: did diet culture and your relationship to food play in that?
Speaker 1: So just in general, starting to play music really helped
Speaker 1: me just evolve into body acceptance in general, into all
Speaker 1: like all the way into body love and positivity, which
Speaker 1: is I feel like what Fatty Cakes is right now,
Speaker 1: but just the start of music in general. My first band,
Speaker 1: they put me in the front. I was the lead,
Speaker 1: and I had never played my instrument before. I had
Speaker 1: never been the lead before, and so taking up that
Speaker 1: space really helped me to see myself fully and to
Speaker 1: experience my body and other people viewing me without judgment,
Speaker 1: you know, and even being excited, you know, like people
Speaker 1: were so supportive. I just really grew into like loving
Speaker 1: and performing fatness, like with fatty Cakes for sure. And
Speaker 1: so I really I feel like fatty Cakes is the
Speaker 1: culmination of riding my bike and playing in a band
Speaker 1: and working at a bakery and finding love through my
Speaker 1: relationships with my friends, like passing out pizza while we
Speaker 1: see pizza girl friend and having a food fight with you,
Speaker 1: Virgie while we did fat girl tears, and doing all
Speaker 1: of the creative things around being a fat person has
Speaker 1: I don't know, just really like evolved me. I feel
Speaker 1: like I met my full charmander, you know, Bullard. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: passing out pizza was like to me was already the
Speaker 1: most exciting and fun and inventive way to talk about
Speaker 1: eating food in public and being yourself at the buffet
Speaker 1: and yeah, just truly living in the moment. Oh, I
Speaker 1: love that. Can you talk little bit more about being
Speaker 1: yourself at the buffet? Yeah? So that is one of
Speaker 1: my favorite fatty Cakes lines, be yourself at the buffet,
Speaker 1: Because you know, I don't know if you've well, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you have experiences. First of all, people will watch
Speaker 1: you eat if you are a fat person. If you
Speaker 1: are at a buffet and you fill up your plate,
Speaker 1: there look at you. You know, they're like, you know,
Speaker 1: like there's so much judgment around you, and so being
Speaker 1: yourself at the buffet is so important. I want you
Speaker 1: to see me have fun and enjoy this life because
Speaker 1: I should. I have every right, you know, and so
Speaker 1: it feels good to carry that sentiment, you know, And
Speaker 1: I think of that every time we go out, like
Speaker 1: every time I go do something for myself. Every time
Speaker 1: I want to eat, like, I will go in because
Speaker 1: that's what I want to do. And I want to
Speaker 1: live this life, enjoying this body, enjoying my taste buds,
Speaker 1: and I want to experience my senses. Right. I want
Speaker 1: people to hear that you can live that life, you know,
Speaker 1: because it took so long for me to get there.
Speaker 1: It took years. It took going through being in bands
Speaker 1: with men and not really having a space to talk
Speaker 1: about my femininity, my queerness, my fatness, my blackness. You know.
Speaker 1: It took all of that to get to where I
Speaker 1: am right now. And I just want those steps to
Speaker 1: be so much, so much shorter for people, you know, like,
Speaker 1: I want it to be so much quicker to get
Speaker 1: to that point of seeing yourself as worthy and beautiful.
Speaker 1: You know. Oh, yes, I think there's there really is
Speaker 1: a power in because right like, for the most part,
Speaker 1: the people we see on stage are the people who
Speaker 1: the culture tells us we're supposed to be like. And
Speaker 1: so you know, often they're thin people. Often they're white people.
Speaker 1: Often they're straight people and just people and able bodied people,
Speaker 1: and I think there is that extraordinary power or when
Speaker 1: you see someone who sort of quote unquote maybe like
Speaker 1: it doesn't quite fit in the picture, it's so powerful.
Speaker 1: It's so intoxicating because it really is like that sense
Speaker 1: of you know, who gets to have all eyes on them,
Speaker 1: who gets to have that moment where people are inspired
Speaker 1: by them? And I think it's very disruptive when that's
Speaker 1: a fat person or a black person or a queer person,
Speaker 1: And that's that's I feel like that's what you're talking about, Yes,
Speaker 1: the representation. It is really about the representation, because to
Speaker 1: see somebody break out of that mold is so powerful
Speaker 1: that it is inspiring, Like and really just to watch
Speaker 1: somebody who you who you assume shouldn't be in that space.
Speaker 1: Create movement in that space, like literal movement, people are stoked,
Speaker 1: running around, cheering, bouncing off each other, like loving each other,
Speaker 1: picking each other up when they fall. Like watching folks
Speaker 1: be in this community because of this person who's breaking
Speaker 1: the mold is so it's fire. It's literal fire inside
Speaker 1: of you. You know. It just made it so that
Speaker 1: I needed to I needed to be there, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to do that too. I wanted other people to
Speaker 1: see this fat body, this black person talk about how
Speaker 1: this political world is fucked up, how racism and Nazis
Speaker 1: are fucked up. You know, like I want people to
Speaker 1: see this fat black body talk about how working at
Speaker 1: them all sucks, you know, like it just it's important,
Speaker 1: you know, it's important. And it goes back to that
Speaker 1: feeling of taking these big leaps instead of baby steps
Speaker 1: that I felt like I took. For instance, we played
Speaker 1: this show in Freso. It's like a kind of like
Speaker 1: a bigger show. It's called Grizzly Fest here, and my niece,
Speaker 1: who was probably six at the time, was so excited
Speaker 1: that I got to be on this stage, and so
Speaker 1: we actually invited her up on the stage with us
Speaker 1: for that show. So she brought like a cute little
Speaker 1: ukulele and she had this whole outfit plan, you know,
Speaker 1: like she she got to be in the limelight and
Speaker 1: like it just it touched me so much because again,
Speaker 1: if I was her age and I got to see that,
Speaker 1: like it would have changed my life. I just I
Speaker 1: just love that I can be a part of that
Speaker 1: for other people, you know, Uh yes, yes, so Vashina
Speaker 1: one of Fatty Cakes and the puff Pastries, you know,
Speaker 1: absolute most iconic songs, it's fat Girl Tears. Because can
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit about tell us a
Speaker 1: little about the song, like what what story is fact
Speaker 1: girl tears weaving? Um, what's the background? You know, tell
Speaker 1: me a little bit about the process. So fat Girl Tears.
Speaker 1: Um Amber wrote the lyrics for Girl Tears about you know,
Speaker 1: being fat in the world and people fearing having a
Speaker 1: fat body like yours, you know, living through that trauma
Speaker 1: of not being accepted in this world yet still having
Speaker 1: and loving this body, and instead of fighting to change
Speaker 1: to make yourself small or diminish yourself like we talked
Speaker 1: about before, you would cry it out and then go
Speaker 1: on living in us who came up with the idea
Speaker 1: to have a food fight for the music video. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that was a collective effort because we all were
Speaker 1: trying to figure out, like what should we do for
Speaker 1: this video. We know, we want to have all of
Speaker 1: these iconic fat activists or iconic artists, and we even
Speaker 1: had like Keizaiah Horrell and Jasmine Leavey, Like we just
Speaker 1: had all of these people who do work in activism,
Speaker 1: and so we're like, cool, so what are we going
Speaker 1: to do with all these fun people? And then I
Speaker 1: think during a practice we were all like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we should have a food fight. It's gonna be so
Speaker 1: much fun. And it truly was, like we went in
Speaker 1: it was so so much fun. Oh. I just remember
Speaker 1: Craig Caulderwood. She is an amazing artist in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: I remember her throwing a full hamburger and it's sticking
Speaker 1: to my belly. Like it was so just the just
Speaker 1: the most amazing experience. Because what kid in the world
Speaker 1: like doesn't want to have a food fight with their friends,
Speaker 1: you know, like who doesn't have that dream at some point?
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, like that's like the food fight is
Speaker 1: one of the most iconic cinematic kid movie moments, and
Speaker 1: I feel like it never happens in real life. It's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I grew up sort of always hoping that
Speaker 1: moment was about to happen, and it never did. Yees
Speaker 1: to like live it now in my thirties was such
Speaker 1: a treat. Yeah, that was the moment I will never forget.
Speaker 1: And we actually also at the end we tried to
Speaker 1: take photos of ourselves and we're just like sliding around
Speaker 1: on all this food on the ground. The whole thing
Speaker 1: was just so powerful for so many reasons. But like
Speaker 1: you know, to have all like all these fat bodied
Speaker 1: people dancing to begin with, right, like being in a
Speaker 1: music video. Wow, And then you've got all of these
Speaker 1: foods like specifically that are sort of quote unquote off
Speaker 1: limits for fat people who are expected to always be
Speaker 1: dieting and always be restricting food and certainly you're not
Speaker 1: allowed to you know, enjoy it, let alone in public,
Speaker 1: let alone throw it at people on film. And it
Speaker 1: was the role breaking gorgeousness of that was just so incredible. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I love that idea too, of off limit foods, like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, so many of those things like Crimberula
Speaker 1: was like that for me that was one of those things.
Speaker 1: It was off limits because it's super quote unquote fatty foods.
Speaker 1: It's it's expensive, it's like all of the things. Yes,
Speaker 1: And it was just like I felt like it was
Speaker 1: like a fat utopia, Like I feel like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm realizing that I think that I think
Speaker 1: we have this idea that food and eating are kind
Speaker 1: of this they're utilitarian, so they can't be part of
Speaker 1: a creative practice. They can't. But I'm like realizing as
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you that food and eating are one
Speaker 1: hundred percent also part of a creative practice. What do
Speaker 1: you think true? Yes? Yes, yes, First of all, I
Speaker 1: love watching folks eat. I love being in this space
Speaker 1: where I am feeding them the delicious food. Like it
Speaker 1: really is this this full sensory like amalgam of creativity
Speaker 1: and and nourishment. It is art. Food is art. Oh
Speaker 1: that's incredible. I mean I'm curious right, like you're talking
Speaker 1: about that journey from literally the back of the room
Speaker 1: to now you're on stage eating pizza at shows and
Speaker 1: screaming and singing and your front and center. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm curious, like have you arrived? Like what is next?
Speaker 1: For you. I want to keep going. I want to
Speaker 1: travel the world like I would love to play this
Speaker 1: zick in other countries I actually like for the I
Speaker 1: don't know if you get to see those things, but
Speaker 1: at the end of the year, Spotify does those things
Speaker 1: of like you've touched this mini country, your music has
Speaker 1: been played in these places, right, So each year I
Speaker 1: love doing this like end of the year things so
Speaker 1: I can see where we have been played. And some
Speaker 1: countries are so like um, anti gay and very fat phobic.
Speaker 1: Still you know, lightning and in a space again where
Speaker 1: I felt like I lived as a kid, And to
Speaker 1: think of fuck you and your neo Nazi friends or
Speaker 1: fat girl tears being played in spaces like that is
Speaker 1: what I've always wanted. So yeah, there is this feeling
Speaker 1: of yes, I've arrived, I've arrived in this body, I've
Speaker 1: arrived in this consciousness. I'm even seeing the effect on
Speaker 1: other people. You know, actually cried with a fan at
Speaker 1: a show. We just talked about trauma and abuse and
Speaker 1: stuff and how when we were younger, we we went
Speaker 1: through those things and how this music that I'm playing
Speaker 1: now makes them feel empowered and that empowered me even more.
Speaker 1: You know like at first this music was just to
Speaker 1: help me heal us heals us friends, you know, like
Speaker 1: we were just going through things in life and we
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about it, right, yes, And so I
Speaker 1: really feel like seeing that the music that we use
Speaker 1: to heal is now healing other people does make me
Speaker 1: feel like, oh my gosh, this is it. This is
Speaker 1: what it's like, right, Like, this is what this is.
Speaker 1: What anybody would want when they create, is to be
Speaker 1: able to touch somebody. So yeah, I do have this
Speaker 1: feeling of yes, I've arrived, But I also have this
Speaker 1: feeling of like, let's keep going. I love it, Let's go.
Speaker 1: And I would never have imagined at all. I would
Speaker 1: never have imagined that this is what my life would
Speaker 1: be like when I was that girl that bike, you know,
Speaker 1: like I could never never have imagined that this is
Speaker 1: where we would be. So I mean it's like, I
Speaker 1: mean that sense of possibility. I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: so beautiful. Like for the person who maybe is creatively
Speaker 1: inclined and is just like, can't I can't be broke,
Speaker 1: I can't be that creative person in this body, what
Speaker 1: would you tell them? Like, what word's the tool that
Speaker 1: you would want to give them, Oh that looking at
Speaker 1: life through others people's lenses is never ever gonna work.
Speaker 1: You have to do what makes you feel good in
Speaker 1: the moment, because sometimes that thing that made you feel
Speaker 1: good in that moment is going to make someone else
Speaker 1: feel good, is going to feel like healing to you
Speaker 1: even is going to get you to where you never
Speaker 1: knew you could go, because you're living in your truth,
Speaker 1: in your body in that second, you know, I felt
Speaker 1: like I spent a lot of time trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what my future would look like with the lens
Speaker 1: of other folks. Yes, and it was just such a setback.
Speaker 1: It was such a creative stunter, you know, like you
Speaker 1: just really can't you can't function in that, you know,
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I would. I would absolutely say that.
Speaker 1: I know everyone says this, but be true to yourself,
Speaker 1: be true to your creative process, even if you feel
Speaker 1: like no one's gonna understand, Like, it's not about them,
Speaker 1: It's about you expressing who you are in that moment,
Speaker 1: because to look back, like to look back on the
Speaker 1: art that you make before you knew what you know now,
Speaker 1: before you're the person you are now, is that healing.
Speaker 1: So I would just say, well, hease, don't stop doing
Speaker 1: what makes you feel good in this time, because it
Speaker 1: will get you so much further, so much faster, to
Speaker 1: live it in your own truth and in your own body. Hina,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being on the show. Isn't
Speaker 1: such a pleasure getting to talk with you? Well, you too,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. This is wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you for this delicious crimblet I'm living. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go record today and think about you that I love that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Bushina. I'm in love with her. I know
Speaker 1: you are too, Bashina, thank you for existing. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: just to recap, Vashina taught us the importance of displaying
Speaker 1: French pastries as you cruise blissfully around town, how much
Speaker 1: fun food fights can be, the power of seeing bodies
Speaker 1: like yours front and center, and how friendship and art
Speaker 1: can save your life. What did you think? What's your
Speaker 1: version of Vaschina's base? What are the practices that help
Speaker 1: remind you that you deserve more than diet culture? Reach
Speaker 1: out dm me on socials at Virgie Tovar, DMR producers
Speaker 1: at Transmitter Pods, shoot us a message at Rebel Eaters
Speaker 1: Club at gmail dot com. Rebel Eaters Club is brought
Speaker 1: to you by Transmittermedia. This episode was written and produced
Speaker 1: by Isabelle Carter. Sarah Knicks is Transmitters Executive editor. Wilson
Speaker 1: Sarah is our managing producer, and Greta Khan is our
Speaker 1: executive producer and I'm your host, Virgie tovar Rick Kwan
Speaker 1: is our mix engineer. Thanks to Taka Yasuzawa, who wrote
Speaker 1: some of the music we use this episode, and special
Speaker 1: thanks to Fatty Cakes in the Puff Pastries for permission
Speaker 1: to use their music in this episode. You can find
Speaker 1: them and by their albums at fatty Cakes dot bandcamp
Speaker 1: dot com. If you love Rebel Eaters Club, tell your
Speaker 1: friends and share the love by writing a review on
Speaker 1: your favorite podcast app. See you next week.