Speaker 1: Forever, Hi high high Hi. Okay, wow, wow, what an episode. Whoa,
Speaker 1: whoa whoa, Okay, we're starting. I mean, probably this is
Speaker 1: as hot as when uh Andrew tried to come in
Speaker 1: and drag us about not saying thank you. This is hot.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I was.
Speaker 3: I was pretty hot that day.
Speaker 1: You did come like you was angry, you was horny.
Speaker 1: You was upset with us. Yes, you had like if
Speaker 1: we could do it, if we could draw your eyebrows
Speaker 1: they were like squiggly, they were like absolutely, very very upset.
Speaker 1: You were giving Helga brown. Yes, wrong, angry bird brow.
Speaker 3: Angry bird brow.
Speaker 1: Lerie. Hi, Sydney, you look beautiful. Thank you so much?
Speaker 1: Yeah you look you look nice. Oh bitch. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: you know I can't be every day. It can't be
Speaker 1: a beautiful nasis. You gotta I let somebody else have it. Okay.
Speaker 1: I receive your compliment, and I'm giving you a little
Speaker 1: bit of shade, but you know, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: for that. I'm dry. I got the project heat in
Speaker 1: here girl that it'd be blasting at all hours, and
Speaker 1: then I wake up and I'm like, like just my
Speaker 1: skin is yearning for I just need a bucket of
Speaker 1: water thrown on me every morning because yes hashtag ice
Speaker 1: bucket challenge. I love that for you. I mean, humidifiers
Speaker 1: are your friend, and also water for the inside of
Speaker 1: your body is your friend. When's the last time you
Speaker 1: had a red bull? I think that people want to know.
Speaker 1: Here we go, I think when did I put that
Speaker 1: Patreon video up? Like a week week or week and
Speaker 1: a half ago. A week and a half ago, you
Speaker 1: had a red bull? Yeah, I don't believe you. Hold on,
Speaker 1: let me look at something. So you're saying you don't
Speaker 1: have any red bull in your fridge? No, I don't.
Speaker 1: Where the fuck did she go? Because Sidney sent me
Speaker 1: a package the other day in a bag, and in
Speaker 1: the bag is her grocery store receipt. And I want
Speaker 1: to say I saw red bull on the receipt. You
Speaker 1: see that you hit a paper dues. I have a
Speaker 1: receipt in my hand. Literally that's the receipt. Literally have
Speaker 1: a receipt in my hand. Okay, this the date on
Speaker 1: here is January ninth. Okay, okay, bench, thank you, Okay, no,
Speaker 1: say sorry. I'm not apologizing apologized. Probably went to the
Speaker 1: Bodegga yesterday and got another red bull. I know, Carolina,
Speaker 1: come downstairs and Marie as somebody who you know I've
Speaker 1: been sober and you believe me on that. How could you?
Speaker 1: How could you don't do that? Don't throw your sobriety
Speaker 1: in my face while you're talking about this red bull
Speaker 1: that you've relapsed on many a time. Don't do that. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do better. Okay, Well, I'm proud of
Speaker 1: you for trying. And I had this receipt just killed them.
Speaker 1: That was that was good. I was like, okay, someone wait,
Speaker 1: I am ready.
Speaker 3: I'm curious. What is on the receipt?
Speaker 1: Oh you already yesterday? The most expensive thing that you
Speaker 1: think Sydney paid for at the supermarket. Guess what it is?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, something something with me. Yeah, it's no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's produce. Oh mm hmm. The most expensive thing on
Speaker 1: the on the receipt coming in at eight dollars and
Speaker 1: thirty eight sets seedless green grapes. Yo, you're spending too
Speaker 1: much money on grapes. They but when I tell you
Speaker 1: them bitches was bomb. It was like somebody was coming
Speaker 1: in my mouth. They were so like juicy and oh yeah,
Speaker 1: better than come because actually comes doesn't. Well, it depends
Speaker 1: come from a man, come from a woman. Delicious, Okay,
Speaker 1: deliciosos like pink lemonade. Okay, I love that for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a little tartosis. That's something that girl needs to
Speaker 1: drink some water. Okay, that girl, that girl is me
Speaker 1: that I also see some Soperida sausage tostitos, Red Bull
Speaker 1: Blue Edition six pink grapefruit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She
Speaker 1: spent some Lacoi rainbow popsicles, frosted flakes with marshmallows. Sydney
Speaker 1: big your something ass. Oh my god, you're just gonna
Speaker 1: read the whole list, you know, I stud I was
Speaker 1: gonna throw it away and I here, Marie, you should
Speaker 1: post it and put it on your like this bitch.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, who do you think receipt? Is this
Speaker 1: a twelve year old or Marie? I mean, or Sydney
Speaker 1: or Marie? I mean? I shop like like a that
Speaker 1: has somebody else's like credit card. I'm like, you shop like, actually,
Speaker 1: the bruceed is a little bit better than what I
Speaker 1: thought it was gonna because it's fruits on there. But
Speaker 1: you definitely shop like a kid whose parents gave them money.
Speaker 1: And was like, use this for emergencies. And then you
Speaker 1: go and you're like, we're gonna get pizza and Lucky
Speaker 1: Charms mixed with Reese's pieces, and we gonna get sniggers
Speaker 1: dipped in caramel pop tarts, like oh wait, let's get grapes.
Speaker 1: Let's be healthy. Yeah, but grap you're too expensive. Listen.
Speaker 1: I've been at the register while the ring up the
Speaker 1: grapes and I'm like, what is that? No, I don't
Speaker 1: want that. Have you ever returned anything while you're standing
Speaker 1: at the cashier like you're just like, hmm, now take
Speaker 1: that out now that we got now that the unemployment's back.
Speaker 1: Actually no, oh I love it. How much was that? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: six dollars? This? Uh? This, this unemployment money got me
Speaker 1: feeling like mister Burns. You know, okay, excellent money mean
Speaker 1: mean money bags, bitch. So you you must be making
Speaker 1: the full five o four, the full five one hundred
Speaker 1: and four in New York. Now, don't be counting my
Speaker 1: don't be counting my coins, marade not on the pot.
Speaker 1: I saw how much you spent on these groceries, so
Speaker 1: I know how much money you do not have anymore.
Speaker 1: Well that was two weeks ago, Honey, I haven't gone
Speaker 1: to the grocery store since. Yeah, I'm just over here famished.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, i'll be there on Saturday. Well,
Speaker 1: the grapes lasted probably like an afternoon, so you know,
Speaker 1: I put them all in my mouth. Girl, speaking of
Speaker 1: putting all in your mouth, have you read the reviews, bitch? Yes,
Speaker 1: I have read some of the reviews, and boy, oh boy,
Speaker 1: are they insutaining. Let's talk about it, Sidney. Won't you
Speaker 1: read them out loud? You know your your reading is
Speaker 1: better than mine? Oh wow, wow, thank you? Hooked on
Speaker 1: worked for me, Sidney. What review would you like me
Speaker 1: to read? Because I know you gonna want to read
Speaker 1: one as well. Let's start with something negative and then
Speaker 1: end on a positive note, right because Andrews said.
Speaker 3: We always yeah, you always start with the negative.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, So here's here's a negative review.
Speaker 1: Somebody said, yo, listen up, it's three stars. Please don't
Speaker 1: have Mary Beth on against I love y'all, but that
Speaker 1: episode is unlistenable. Thank you. Everything else about the show
Speaker 1: was actually incredible. Don't let yourself be brought down by
Speaker 1: the Alabaster guests. And that is from I'm not I
Speaker 1: don't know what the name is, but that was posted
Speaker 1: on Sunday. It's just a just a random fella. Now
Speaker 1: that was mean, just a random fella. And the fact
Speaker 1: that you put fella in there. You're a white man,
Speaker 1: so stop stop bringing your women down. No no, no, no
Speaker 1: no no no. Random fella could be an old black
Speaker 1: man talking about Alabaster guest as well. Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: believe somebody named Leroy or you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: a Conrad, you know, like an old black man. They
Speaker 1: put Fellow on there. There's definitely a white man, Andrew.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like white man would be Fellow.
Speaker 1: And I need you to come forward, you and scutiny,
Speaker 1: show your faces. Listen. I'm not mad at that review
Speaker 1: because they didn't say anything bad about me. They actually
Speaker 1: said that the show is incredible. So anyway, Marie, move on.
Speaker 1: What's the next one? The next review that we are
Speaker 1: going to touch on right now. Always pains me to
Speaker 1: read this, but the review says, does Sidney even want
Speaker 1: to be on the show? It says, I love the show,
Speaker 1: but Sidney seems disinterested in this show and it's only
Speaker 1: become even more apparent this past year. She now has
Speaker 1: a new podcast that she's doing on the side to
Speaker 1: boot while almost never spilling the tea on this one and.
Speaker 3: Constantly on Okay, Marie and Andrew are excellent host and
Speaker 3: will probably see the show by themselves five stars.
Speaker 1: Uh was offended about this, and I was like, facts
Speaker 1: were spoken? He was spilt there, Sidney, what what here?
Speaker 1: Is not true that I'm disinterested in the podcast? Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: There's been so many moments where I'm I'm giving giving.
Speaker 1: All I do is give to the podcast. And how
Speaker 1: dare somebody say I'm disinterested in a podcast during your
Speaker 1: fucking pandemic. Yeah, I'm stuck in the house not doing anything.
Speaker 1: So we are all in the same pandemic and we
Speaker 1: are all in our homes. And they did not say
Speaker 1: Maria Andrew are disinterested. They says Sidney is not interested
Speaker 1: and you are cheating on us with a hot young
Speaker 1: new podcast called what's the name of the podcast? Hobby Hunter,
Speaker 1: which is crazy because my very first episode pilot, it
Speaker 1: has Marie on it to plug our podcasts. So everything
Speaker 1: I do is for us, bitch, thank you. Everything you
Speaker 1: knew is to supplement your income so you can afford
Speaker 1: nineteen dollars and also whenever I need to get a
Speaker 1: cab to send you, when I need to send for you,
Speaker 1: what do I do, Marie? She do be sending for
Speaker 1: me with that hobby lobby coin.
Speaker 3: Hobby.
Speaker 1: Whoever wrote this you can suck a They still stars.
Speaker 1: It's okay, yeah, because they said that you two can
Speaker 1: probably just host it without me. The wait, they say,
Speaker 1: you are never spilling tea on this podcast, so they
Speaker 1: why I really want to know more about you.
Speaker 3: I do think it's interesting that they're also without it
Speaker 3: being a video medium, they're picking up the fact that
Speaker 3: you're on the phone as well.
Speaker 1: No, because you guys are always because Marie is always
Speaker 1: is a rat. Oh my god, he is a rat.
Speaker 1: You're trying to say that the problem here is that
Speaker 1: I'm snitching on you being on the phone. Yes, the
Speaker 1: fact that you are always on the phone. No, bitch,
Speaker 1: you snitched. Be supposed to stay together, we twigt No
Speaker 1: bitch twigs you're not interested in podcast. You on your phone,
Speaker 1: and no I am interested in I'm finding things for
Speaker 1: us to talk about on my phone. You be doom
Speaker 1: doom doom doom, doom doo doo doo doom, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I gotta FaceTime. I'm gona tell him to call me back. Girl,
Speaker 1: don't do that. You know what. I am interested in
Speaker 1: this motherfucking guest. Yes, God bless, God bless. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to have this our two time you know, appearance
Speaker 1: guests today and she The timing couldn't be better because
Speaker 1: y'all said, don't bring no more alabasta people on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and we said she gonna be.
Speaker 2: Beige, okay, And I cannot wait to bring you guys down.
Speaker 2: I am just honored to be here.
Speaker 1: Give it up for our newlywed expert. She's the host
Speaker 1: of Find Your Beach, the podcast It's the Funny, the married,
Speaker 1: the blonde rosemud Baker.
Speaker 4: Hi, guys used to be blonde.
Speaker 2: It's it's more of a dishwater brown at this point,
Speaker 2: six months into quarantine married, don't.
Speaker 4: I don't have to try.
Speaker 2: It's the blonde has faded.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I just I just assume that all white people are
Speaker 1: natural blondes. I do too. Their hair grows out.
Speaker 4: You know what, You're not totally wrong.
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of us are born blonde,
Speaker 2: and then our enthusiasm for life goes as the blonde goes.
Speaker 1: Do you understand a lot of people are blonde because
Speaker 1: of the Holocaust?
Speaker 2: So history, Yes, the Holocaust made us blonde.
Speaker 1: No, because of the genocide. Hitler wanted everybody to be
Speaker 1: blue eyes and blonde, and that's true. So I don't
Speaker 1: do that to me.
Speaker 2: But I will say, but I will say, if Hitler
Speaker 2: looked at me and my husband together, he would be like,
Speaker 2: that's a little on the nose.
Speaker 1: You know, he'd be like, that's too much. These they
Speaker 1: look like twins.
Speaker 4: Get them out, get them out of here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to say, I know you guys brought
Speaker 2: me in and introed me to get away from the reviews.
Speaker 2: But I was. I was mesmerized. I was really into
Speaker 2: that whole section. I had to mute myself. I was
Speaker 2: laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, what do you feel? How did it affect
Speaker 1: your spirit? This is a space first of all, I mean,
Speaker 1: you strang.
Speaker 2: Anybody, anybody who has ever been on a FaceTime call
Speaker 2: with Sydney knows how that reviewer feels. Okay, because I
Speaker 2: have been on FaceTime call with Sydney, I've been spilling
Speaker 2: my guts, just sharing my deepest innermost secrets and all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, I'll hear her go uh huh, that's crazy,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Or or you white bitch, you drag me like this.
Speaker 1: But also Sidney Queen of Queen of facetiming you at
Speaker 1: any any hour, twenty four hours in a day, she'll
Speaker 1: call you at any point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm into that.
Speaker 1: I'm into But most of the call of the FaceTime
Speaker 1: is her screen is on pause and it's just you
Speaker 1: looking at the.
Speaker 2: Word yes, yeah, yeah, Just you could have.
Speaker 1: Just called me so you could ignore me. You don't
Speaker 1: have to have me looking at your ceiling or But.
Speaker 2: But there is there's value in that kind of friendship
Speaker 2: where your friend will hang out with you, uh you know,
Speaker 2: and and be on their phone like they would in person,
Speaker 2: but they're doing it over the phone, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. There's like comfort in that kind of friendship
Speaker 2: where like I don't want to necessarily be on a
Speaker 2: phone call with somebody that I have to talk.
Speaker 4: To the whole time.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Rosebud. You know you're you're spelling your guts
Speaker 1: and she's saying that's graz that you feel. It's almost
Speaker 1: like she's in a marriage. I sound like a straight man.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, He's yes, she's my husband. On the side,
Speaker 2: I'm like, when my husband's not listening, I'll call Sydney
Speaker 2: just to have her not listen, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And it's like, uh, it's like having a therapist. It's
Speaker 2: like having a low income therapist.
Speaker 1: You know. Oh, she called you a sliding scale Section
Speaker 1: eight therapists.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anybody that's had a sliding scale therapist knows that
Speaker 2: that is what it's like. You're like, you're sharing your shit.
Speaker 2: They're not checked in.
Speaker 1: But I'm just everybody on this podcast right now. Wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: you're gonna talk about us on Hobby Hunters. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: had the experts in dragging the FU.
Speaker 4: We just switched it.
Speaker 2: We switched it from Newlyweds.
Speaker 1: To dragging Sydney. Sidney. We're not even dragging you, but
Speaker 1: like we're telling you what it is like if if
Speaker 1: we were like if when we go outside, like in
Speaker 1: public back again, and it's like I've read people are
Speaker 1: like when we go out to dinner, everybody puts their
Speaker 1: phone in the middle of the table and the first
Speaker 1: person to pick up their phone has to pay the
Speaker 1: deb that's what we're gonna do with juices. We're gonna
Speaker 1: put all our phones in the middle of the table
Speaker 1: and the.
Speaker 2: Hold on a second, what what group of friends does that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've read this on something somewhere that
Speaker 1: fucked up.
Speaker 2: You gotta get a new group of friends. That's not
Speaker 2: even fair, wow.
Speaker 1: I mean, because you think that you would have to
Speaker 1: pay the tab or yes, you have your phone in
Speaker 1: your hand to take pictures of the food.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna end up paying that tab either way. It
Speaker 2: doesn't matter if I'm taking pictures of the food. If
Speaker 2: I'm the second the conversation stops being interesting, I'm going
Speaker 2: right to the phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but sometimes the conversation stab is being interesting because
Speaker 1: everyone is on their phone. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's like a chicken it or the
Speaker 2: egg argument, you know, like what what happens first?
Speaker 4: Sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you reach for the phone, the conversation dies.
Speaker 2: Other times, you know, the conversation dies and you're like, well,
Speaker 2: you guys aren't keeping me engaged, so let's go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you one motherfucking thing. The best friend
Speaker 1: all of y'all have ever had, So you could go
Speaker 1: on here and say that I'd be on my phone,
Speaker 1: But I show up when I need to. I'm there
Speaker 1: when you need me to be there, and I fucking listen,
Speaker 1: and I have solutions.
Speaker 2: So Sydney has wrapped herself. She's wrapped herself up like
Speaker 2: a boxer in the corner of the ring. She has
Speaker 2: dabbed her forehead. She's back. She's back for a second round. Yeah,
Speaker 2: ready to fight.
Speaker 1: I gotta get a picture of this, Sydney. I am Wow.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a talk off air. We're talking what
Speaker 1: do we what do we need to talk about, Sydney.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is the place people say you're
Speaker 1: not sharing how you feel? Share it now. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, they've done a great job of
Speaker 2: getting you to share how you feel today on this podcast.
Speaker 1: Well let's just be honest here. Okay, we've been doing
Speaker 1: the pod for what four years? Right, ninety six years?
Speaker 1: Four years. Let's when we were shooting in the gym, honey,
Speaker 1: boo boo. When we were at Marie's house, I was
Speaker 1: giving up all the everything I would. I had tea
Speaker 1: every single episode, every because not only was I going
Speaker 1: through sobriety, I was not fucking my ex girlfriend. We
Speaker 1: were having money problems. We're going on, I was in
Speaker 1: uber pools. I had stories, honey. So when all that
Speaker 1: was happening, we weren't hearing the not bang in your
Speaker 1: girlfriend's stories. Yes we were. Yeah, I was saying I
Speaker 1: was talking about that because Adrian was like, what are
Speaker 1: you saying on the podcast? Because my friends are asking stuff.
Speaker 3: So wait, so by that logic, you're saying that because
Speaker 3: you did this certain thing in the past where you
Speaker 3: expressed a lot, that you shouldn't be doing it anymore
Speaker 3: just because you No, no.
Speaker 2: No, no, it's here's the thing. You who these people
Speaker 2: who leave negative reviews, Let them leave a different review
Speaker 2: and make it interesting every single week for the last
Speaker 2: four years, and see how see how engaging their reviews are.
Speaker 2: You know that.
Speaker 4: I think that's what she said.
Speaker 2: It's like she's had to be interesting this long, so
Speaker 2: anybody who's criticizing her should have to be interesting once
Speaker 2: a week for an hour talking to the same person.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that sounds like a little bit of a
Speaker 1: dragon on me.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, it's not a sneak disc. That's not
Speaker 2: a sneak dist I'm just saying it's harder to stay
Speaker 2: interesting that then people think it is.
Speaker 1: Marie didn't start spilling real tea until I pray Hoe.
Speaker 1: That was the inaugura inauguration of Marie telling her business,
Speaker 1: because she was not one of the people to be
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna say everything, yeah, but in my life.
Speaker 1: But this is what I said to Sidney last night
Speaker 1: when the review popped up, and we laughed and cried
Speaker 1: about it. The opposite, spilling tea is not necessarily all
Speaker 1: you have to do on the podcast. You don't have
Speaker 1: to come and spill all of your business, but you
Speaker 1: have to, like you got to come with the jokes
Speaker 1: you ought to come with. You have to be interesting
Speaker 1: in order for it to be a podcast that people
Speaker 1: want to listen to. You looking at your phone while
Speaker 1: I'm spilling my tea, then you missing moments to crack
Speaker 1: on me, or you're like when me and Sydney are together,
Speaker 1: the podcast flows better because like I'm looking dead in
Speaker 1: her eyeballs and she's not going to pick up her
Speaker 1: phone while I'm sitting right there, or I will, But like,
Speaker 1: you know, are you trying to break up with me
Speaker 1: on the motherfucking pod? Like what what's going on? Heredny?
Speaker 1: You are you naked under that blanket? Girl? The fuck
Speaker 1: is going on? I'm getting up. What the fuck is
Speaker 1: going on? I'm not trying to break up with Get
Speaker 1: in here?
Speaker 4: Are y'all just gonna let this listen?
Speaker 1: I say people like that, I think this is all
Speaker 1: go off on me. Fucking blow dry your banks and
Speaker 1: let's go. I can't.
Speaker 2: First of all, it's not my podcast. I will blow
Speaker 2: dry my banks for my own podcast. I will not
Speaker 2: blow dry my banks for a podcast that I'm not.
Speaker 1: On every week.
Speaker 2: It's not my responsibility. All right, will drive my bangs
Speaker 2: is for one. I'll do it once a week when
Speaker 2: I'm about to get laid. That's it, all right, week.
Speaker 1: Long?
Speaker 4: We need to talk, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, get into it. Let's get into it. When
Speaker 1: did you get married? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, so I got married in September. I got married
Speaker 2: in the park in Washington Square Park, which is where
Speaker 2: they shot the movie Kids. Okay, yes, that is the
Speaker 2: only reference that matters. And it was during COVID times,
Speaker 2: so it was like where they shot the movie Kids.
Speaker 4: It was really it was during that time.
Speaker 2: We finished getting married and a homeless man came up
Speaker 2: and gave us a painting.
Speaker 1: Okay, so he peed on the on the canvas, or
Speaker 1: he pooped on the canvas.
Speaker 2: He painted it was like it looked like what it
Speaker 2: looked like an angry bird's sort of painting, and handed
Speaker 2: it to us and I held it because I forgot
Speaker 2: for a second about COVID. I had just gotten married.
Speaker 2: I was so excited, so I so I held it
Speaker 2: for a second and then I dropped it in front
Speaker 2: of him and I went and uh, there's a photo
Speaker 2: of me taking it from him, realizing what time it
Speaker 2: is and dropping the thing on the ground. But it
Speaker 2: was It's great. It's nice to get married during a
Speaker 2: time when you can, like you know, in a public
Speaker 2: space in New York City where you can like have
Speaker 2: someone with a shopping cart in the photo. Pretty sweet.
Speaker 2: I was there, I was there, You were there.
Speaker 4: It was yeah, and it was very quick.
Speaker 1: It was well, y'all showed up late. I mean, y'all
Speaker 1: gave us the time and then y'all came whenever y'all
Speaker 1: wanted to. It was you know, it was I felt
Speaker 1: very at home, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was late to my own wedding I was like,
Speaker 2: I felt like some nigga.
Speaker 1: But I've also never been to a wedding that started
Speaker 1: on time, No I have. I have, Really it started
Speaker 1: on the time that it's set on the car. There's it.
Speaker 1: They'll say, this is the time that people get there,
Speaker 1: and then this is the time for the wedding.
Speaker 2: They put two, they put yeah, but they what they
Speaker 2: should say is like, you know, when they say what
Speaker 2: time the wedding starts, it should just say whenever the
Speaker 2: bride gets there, because that's really you know. So I was,
Speaker 2: I was in the car when I was supposed to
Speaker 2: be in the car, but then the car in very
Speaker 2: New York style fashion, like we rented this like old
Speaker 2: New York City taxi, and just like an old New
Speaker 2: York City taxi, it took me to the wrong place first,
Speaker 2: so this man took me. I got ready at my
Speaker 2: sister's apartment. This man took me to my own apartment first,
Speaker 2: and I was like, what are we doing here? And no,
Speaker 2: it was like an Originally it was like a an
Speaker 2: address that I had entered for like a pickup point,
Speaker 2: but it was not the address for the actual wedding.
Speaker 4: So like he took me there and he was like, Okay,
Speaker 4: here we are.
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, do you see a do
Speaker 2: you see a groom?
Speaker 6: Here?
Speaker 2: This is a this is a dirty stoop with like
Speaker 2: broken glass on it.
Speaker 1: And he said, hey, some of my best weddings have
Speaker 1: been on a stupid broken glass talk about it.
Speaker 2: So then we my mom was in the car. She
Speaker 2: was like, no, my mom's panicking, you know, mom's and
Speaker 2: like so and the whole way we're driving down, my
Speaker 2: mom is like so excited. She was like putting the
Speaker 2: window down and telling people like she's getting married. She's
Speaker 2: like yelling at people outside of the cab. And I
Speaker 2: was like, I was, I've never been so embarrassed, Like
Speaker 2: I'm not. I thought, because I wanted to get married
Speaker 2: so bad, I thought that when I got married, I
Speaker 2: was gonna be like yeah, I thought I was gonna
Speaker 2: be like super excited, like everybody look at me, fuck you,
Speaker 2: I'm never gonna have to date again. And like I
Speaker 2: thought I was gonna rub it in everyone's face. I
Speaker 2: found the whole experience and so getting married to be
Speaker 2: super embarrassing, Like it is super embarrassing. I'm like in
Speaker 2: my thirties, you're dressed up. It feels like you're wearing white.
Speaker 2: Everybody knows the windmill of Dick's that you rode to
Speaker 2: get to where you are.
Speaker 4: You know, it's just like it is.
Speaker 2: It feels like you are playing a part that is
Speaker 2: not If you are a woman who is honest with herself,
Speaker 2: you know what you've done and you know that you
Speaker 2: should not be wearing white, be cream or sh I was.
Speaker 2: I was wearing an eggshell. I was wearing an eggshell white.
Speaker 2: But it's still sort of felt like with the veil
Speaker 2: and everything, it sort of felt a little bit like, Okay,
Speaker 2: come on.
Speaker 1: No, no, it was that was That's not what you
Speaker 1: should be embarrassed about. It was just a park. City
Speaker 1: said you should be embarrassed that it was in the park.
Speaker 1: It was listen, hold on, it was. It was a
Speaker 1: cold wedding, so we excuse everything like it's okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: And we realized that people have been spending so much
Speaker 1: money on the actual event that it's done.
Speaker 2: You're stupid.
Speaker 1: You didn't spend that much money in the park because
Speaker 1: the park is free.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the park is free. And not only that, the
Speaker 2: park is the only thing I didn't feel stupid about
Speaker 2: because I was like, this is the kind of wedding
Speaker 2: I would end up having, whether COVID was around or not,
Speaker 2: cause I'm not spending that much money on a wedding,
Speaker 2: you know, Okay, I'm.
Speaker 1: Just no floral arrangements, No.
Speaker 2: I mean I got I mean doesn't what's the thing
Speaker 2: that you carry?
Speaker 4: Oh the bouquet?
Speaker 2: Like I should know this, but I spent money on that? Right?
Speaker 1: How much was your wedding.
Speaker 2: All in all? I think I spent two thousand?
Speaker 1: What BP, You didn't even spend twenty twenty, You didn't
Speaker 1: even spend a dollar for the like the dollar a
Speaker 1: month of the year.
Speaker 2: I think overall I spent two thousand. Well, hold on,
Speaker 2: so it was like five hundred for the actual wedding
Speaker 2: like getting the woman to marry us, and the and
Speaker 2: the and the whole like service with the photographers.
Speaker 1: How much was the dress? The dress? Did you have
Speaker 1: it already? Got it from Buffalo Exchange?
Speaker 2: The dress was the most expensive part. I think the
Speaker 2: dress was like fifteen hundred, and then the rest of
Speaker 2: it was just like nothing because I was.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, that's a lie, Rose, But you you paid
Speaker 1: for that car too.
Speaker 2: The car was the car was only two hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: I thought it was three hundred.
Speaker 4: No, two hundred, okay, two hundred.
Speaker 1: Well, the city said, well I have a.
Speaker 2: He's like, hold on a second. I don't think I
Speaker 2: even mentioned that to Sydney.
Speaker 1: You did, girl, We talked, did I?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I'm on my phone not paying attention to you,
Speaker 1: I hear numbers.
Speaker 2: Though, Okay, okay, I didn't realize I was speaking to
Speaker 2: a secret accountant.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Cpa Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I she really is my second husband. She's
Speaker 2: fucking keep a track of what I spend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for all those frames above your.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, don't mention that that.
Speaker 2: Was That was more than my wedding.
Speaker 7: That.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something about framing, which is a
Speaker 2: that's a very married person thing to do is get
Speaker 2: your stuff professionally framed. Framing costs cash. That is serious money.
Speaker 2: That like, if you want your stuff professionally framed, you
Speaker 2: buy a poster for twenty dollars, all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: the value of that poster goes.
Speaker 4: Up by about one thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: It is like, is that an origional?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Okay, yeah, Roath buddy.
Speaker 1: It has framing money. You heard it here first, folks
Speaker 1: framing money, or I did so talk to us about
Speaker 1: being married, Like, how long were y'all together before you
Speaker 1: guys got married? Let's talk about that.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so we were married or we were together
Speaker 2: for nine months when we got engaged. Wait, we were
Speaker 2: not not long we got together I'm estimating. So we
Speaker 2: got together in October of twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, y'all got engaged at the top of the
Speaker 1: fucking quarantine with March March.
Speaker 2: March of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: So so I get together for like six months?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yes, yeah, six months?
Speaker 1: Shit yeah no. When you when you got engaged, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I was like, people are falling apart
Speaker 1: right now. This is crazy. When you got engaged, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, she about to have triplets because.
Speaker 2: What yeah that or Andy got a really dude it
Speaker 2: was My manager called me up and was like, what's
Speaker 2: the rush. He was like worried I was pregnant, like
Speaker 2: he was scared, and I just had to tell him no, no, no,
Speaker 2: we're just two recovering addicts. And you know, recovering addicts
Speaker 2: they're the only people that move faster than lesbians.
Speaker 1: That's Rosebud I'm I'm gonna agree on that.
Speaker 4: That's just facts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because me and you, I feel like, yeah, we
Speaker 1: we would go as quickly as we could into a
Speaker 1: relationship to get away from yourself the struggles that we Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so and you know it's like we both if
Speaker 2: you have two addicts, we both have impulse problems. Okay,
Speaker 2: we cannot control our impulses. We get carried away with
Speaker 2: our feelings. We go you know, this is how I'm
Speaker 2: gonna feel forever. This is how it is, the rest
Speaker 2: of my life is going to be so easy. And
Speaker 2: you just you just fly right into it like you are,
Speaker 2: like you've never been hurt. And then then it's like
Speaker 2: right before you get married that you both start freaking out.
Speaker 2: That's exactly that's what two addicts do.
Speaker 1: Okay, so walk us through these freakouts. What did it
Speaker 1: feel like the closer you got to do it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it feels like, and maybe this is universal,
Speaker 2: but before I got married, right before I got married,
Speaker 2: I actually didn't. I think I put all that away,
Speaker 2: Like I wasn't that freaked out. Uh, I was just like,
Speaker 2: I'm getting married, this is exciting, it's happening. I can't
Speaker 2: really believe it's happening. But I just started planning it,
Speaker 2: and that's all I really thought about. And then right
Speaker 2: after we got married, when we went on the honeymoon,
Speaker 2: that was when I started to freak out. That was
Speaker 2: when I started feeling anxious because I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I'm married. Like it was like
Speaker 2: you know when you're like a kid and your parents
Speaker 2: drop you off somewhere that they're going to leave you
Speaker 2: for like a couple of weeks, like summer camp or whatever,
Speaker 2: like a like an aunt's house or wherever, and you're like,
Speaker 2: hold on a second, I just gotta live here now,
Speaker 2: this is what I gotta do. That's how I felt.
Speaker 1: Now, Wait, you didn't feel like that when y'all got
Speaker 1: an apartment together, when y'all got that, when y'all got
Speaker 1: that the adultless scraggly dog y'all feel like. You don't
Speaker 1: feel like any of that until you were butt naked
Speaker 1: into loom doing anal. That's when you were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe we're masd. You did anal
Speaker 1: in the sand?
Speaker 2: Wow, I just shit pearls Later, No, I uh yeah,
Speaker 2: because all the.
Speaker 4: Other stuff I had done before.
Speaker 2: Everybody's moved in with somebody by the time they're thirty, right,
Speaker 2: I mean everybody's gotten a pet with somebody by the
Speaker 2: time they're thirty.
Speaker 1: No never friend, well me me, yes, But I'm a
Speaker 1: lesbian somm Well.
Speaker 2: Put it this way. I had done all that stuff,
Speaker 2: so I was like, this is the rest of that
Speaker 2: stuff is. It doesn't mean anything. You can walk away
Speaker 2: from all that, you know, And technically, technically, I married
Speaker 2: another comic, so it's not like we're breaking up assets
Speaker 2: if we do divorce. It's not it's like, okay, you
Speaker 2: take you take the Ikea desk.
Speaker 1: And I'll take the Creighton barrel chair, right, Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not like we have stocks we need to be
Speaker 1: breaking up.
Speaker 2: But I, uh yeah, I kind of freaked out when
Speaker 2: we were in Too Loom And But the best part
Speaker 2: about it is I married somebody.
Speaker 4: And this is the key.
Speaker 2: You got to marry somebody that you can freak out
Speaker 2: in front of and talk to and be like, oh
Speaker 2: I whoops, Like is any part of you kind of
Speaker 2: freaking out about this?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: They got to be able to hear that and not
Speaker 2: take it personally and go okay, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 4: This is normal.
Speaker 1: Honestly, rose Bot, I think that's good dating advice. You
Speaker 1: you should only date somebody that you're okay with freaking
Speaker 1: out in front of or like yeah, looking dumb in
Speaker 1: front of because like I've dated people before that I
Speaker 1: was like they were almost like too hot or too cool,
Speaker 1: and it was like you don't want them to see
Speaker 1: you sweat, and those relationships can't last because I need
Speaker 1: to know that I'm better than you at all time
Speaker 1: if I break down. No, but but but but I
Speaker 1: was joking. I'm joking, but you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't ever fully be comfortable with somebody. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: be with that person, and you definitely shouldn't be marrying them.
Speaker 2: No, you have to marry somebody that is if you
Speaker 2: can't be your fullest self, like the parts of you
Speaker 2: that you are, like that even you are uncomfortable with.
Speaker 2: I've had fights with my husband where I was I
Speaker 2: said stuff that I didn't even realize about myself until
Speaker 2: I said it out loud, and then I was like, oh, whoa,
Speaker 2: that was so true that that's like how I feel
Speaker 2: that I didn't I didn't even know I've felt like
Speaker 2: that until I said it, you know, so he's like
Speaker 2: somebody that I once I was there in Uh, I
Speaker 2: was intu loom. I was looking at him and sharing
Speaker 2: all this stuff, and he just looked at me and
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, okay. Then I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: not I'm not scared anymore, Like it wasn't you got
Speaker 2: to marry somebody that you can be your fullest self with,
Speaker 2: even if it's somebody, And I didn't think he was
Speaker 2: not the kind of guy I thought I was gonna marry.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not gonna you know, when I
Speaker 2: first started dating him, I remember calling Sidney and being like,
Speaker 2: I think something. I think I'm unwell, yeah.
Speaker 1: I said. I was like, oh, you're on the verge
Speaker 1: of a relapse. I said, what is going on? I
Speaker 1: think I didn't think you were going to be with
Speaker 1: one a white man and a comic. I you were
Speaker 1: going to go back well dating people in the community.
Speaker 1: Your ex was a comic. It was a black dude,
Speaker 1: but he was a comedian, so I wasn't surprised about
Speaker 1: the comic part. Yeah, what is the type of person
Speaker 1: you thought you were going to marry? Describe him for
Speaker 1: us and then we'll compare control.
Speaker 2: So I thought I was going to find somebody with
Speaker 2: like a four oh one, k o.
Speaker 1: Him poor? All right?
Speaker 2: Cool?
Speaker 1: No, he's not.
Speaker 2: He's not poor, Like he's got good credit, he's got
Speaker 2: like his ship together. But but he's a comic. So
Speaker 2: I assumed that none of that was coming with him,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I just assumed that
Speaker 2: all of that was in shambles. And I was like,
Speaker 2: he probably lives in a storage unit, you know. I
Speaker 2: just I was gonna find some find something out about
Speaker 2: him that I was gonna be like, oh please God no.
Speaker 2: But the more I got to know him, the war
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, he's he's like a normal person
Speaker 2: who does comedy. He has like hobbies, like he'll go
Speaker 2: skiing for the weekend or he'll like.
Speaker 1: Go he must at sounds like money.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm like, okay, he's like he's doing pretty well.
Speaker 2: And uh he's worked in advertise and he has a portfolio.
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, this is like all.
Speaker 4: This feels stable.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know any of that about Andy.
Speaker 1: Now how old is he is? He forty five? That
Speaker 1: feels like he's thirty eight. Okay, we rounded it up
Speaker 1: to the that's fifty in white man years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean you should see his neck skin.
Speaker 2: It's oh, it's at least forty five.
Speaker 1: Rose, But this is a family podcast. Don't talk about
Speaker 1: his next key that is that is that the shaft
Speaker 1: of his dick said, Hey, hey, Andy, hope you listening.
Speaker 1: You know we're sitting on this.
Speaker 2: Just call him earthworm gym.
Speaker 1: Wait, no, Rose, but I wanted to. I want to
Speaker 1: get back to you saying that you were marry somebody
Speaker 1: that you're most comfortable with. But I think there's a
Speaker 1: point where you can get too comfortable, like too comfortable
Speaker 1: and too content, and you you're showing your ass too much,
Speaker 1: you know, like when you feel like you're okay and
Speaker 1: you're not growing. I don't think that's that's good either. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think the point is I don't think that you
Speaker 2: can get too comfortable. I think that you can assume
Speaker 2: that you know everything there is to know about that person,
Speaker 2: and then you just forget about it. You just forget
Speaker 2: about trying to ask them how they're doing or what
Speaker 2: they think, and then you're just like, I already know
Speaker 2: about them, so I'm gonna stop asking them for their
Speaker 2: opinion or what they think or how they're.
Speaker 1: Feeling yecause when get stale.
Speaker 2: That's when they get stale, because you go, what is
Speaker 2: there to discover about this person? But it's like, I mean,
Speaker 2: I've known myself my whole life and I still don't
Speaker 2: know everything there is to know about me. So why
Speaker 2: would I assume after two years with one with this
Speaker 2: person that I've already figured it all out with them?
Speaker 1: You know? I mean, but some people are very predictable,
Speaker 1: like you know what they gonna do. You know, they move,
Speaker 1: they they don't live on the edge very like.
Speaker 2: Well, those those are the people that refuse to keep growing,
Speaker 2: you know, and those people there really is like a
Speaker 2: limit to where to how long you can last with
Speaker 2: those people because if they're gonna refuse to grow, what
Speaker 2: are you gonna like stop growing for them? No one?
Speaker 1: And that's but that's the difference I think Sydney is
Speaker 1: like that's why some people you sometimes you outgrow the
Speaker 1: person that you're with because you keep trying to do things.
Speaker 1: But also you should want to be with somebody who's
Speaker 1: ambitious and like has goals and has things that they're
Speaker 1: working toward. But you pick up on that stuff. In
Speaker 1: the beginning, you might you might dismiss those red flags.
Speaker 1: But like if I'm looking at you and every and
Speaker 1: I know every day Monday, you do this from this
Speaker 1: time to this time Tuesday. Is this Like if I
Speaker 1: look at you and I know your schedule and I
Speaker 1: know where you're gonna be and when you're gonna be there,
Speaker 1: then like there's something some people find comfort in that.
Speaker 1: But there's something very dry and and and like for me,
Speaker 1: and it makes and it's sham wows is sham well's
Speaker 1: the pussy look? She's dry? Yeah, Like yeah, if I
Speaker 1: know every moment, like I know what you're doing, and
Speaker 1: when I call you pick up every time, I'm like yuck,
Speaker 1: Like what do you you fucking yeah? You have no self,
Speaker 1: got nothing to do, like do your text. It's like
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, call me from jail. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: be like, oh, since I woke up and see Jouana today,
Speaker 1: can you moment, can you western union me some money? No? No, no.
Speaker 2: See that's where we get into the whole dating losers,
Speaker 2: because it's interesting this is.
Speaker 4: We can't we can't be going there.
Speaker 2: That's not we just got a story, Rosebud, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying it's not worth it in your twenties, all right,
Speaker 2: but once you've reached thirty, you gotta it's this is
Speaker 2: and cute anymore. All right. We got to get away
Speaker 2: from the guys that, uh who need our help to
Speaker 2: pay their rent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. Hey, hey, hey, I just I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say this. In a year, I just become that person
Speaker 1: that doesn't need somebody to help me with the rent.
Speaker 1: So you know, don't don't don't judge.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well you're on the other side now, so you
Speaker 2: get to you get to pretend that you're above that.
Speaker 1: You get it's above you now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get to say, okay, yeah, get get those
Speaker 2: people out of our lives.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yes, and no, like yes, I agree, but
Speaker 1: also I I've you wouldn't know just looking at me
Speaker 1: that I was one of those people. So that's fair.
Speaker 4: That's fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know how it is. Look at Marie Judging.
Speaker 1: Why do you say, look at Marie, look at Andrew Judge.
Speaker 4: Andrew's in a full post.
Speaker 1: He is, He's like, you just started to paying rent
Speaker 1: this year.
Speaker 2: Andrew is reclining.
Speaker 1: What what's what are you? How are you feeling?
Speaker 3: Oh well when you were talking about people being predictable, Sydney.
Speaker 3: I mean I was definitely brought up. You know, you're
Speaker 3: a little predictable sometimes on the podcast with pulling.
Speaker 1: Out the phone. Andrew, you bought it back, honey, just
Speaker 1: because you got everything in your schedule and it's you're
Speaker 1: doing the same thing every day. Don't be triggered by
Speaker 1: that comment. Why why you got come for me? I
Speaker 1: didn't for you, sir.
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm just talking.
Speaker 1: I am not predictable, Honey. You never know, did you just? Wow?
Speaker 1: He just called me a nigger. You getting a bit
Speaker 1: too comfortable here, Andrew, I'm.
Speaker 7: Sorry, and you face is red if you take a
Speaker 7: white person and you say something like okay, if I
Speaker 7: you say something totally whatever, and then Sidney calls it
Speaker 7: the N word, and any white person will just bury
Speaker 7: themselves like alive.
Speaker 2: If that's all she has to do, We'll just be.
Speaker 1: Like, kill me give us his two weeks two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: Shirley fucking Day. He was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be this is too predictable for me.
Speaker 2: I think this whole episode has been about like relationships
Speaker 2: if you think about it, because we started off with
Speaker 2: Sydney coming on the podcast, and we talked about Sidney
Speaker 2: being on her phone and that's and you gotta be engaged.
Speaker 2: You gotta be involved, you know, to keep it interesting.
Speaker 1: You gotta keep it.
Speaker 2: You gotta be you gotta ask questions, you gotta look alive.
Speaker 1: You know. Funly, nobody wants wants to marry me on
Speaker 1: this podcast, so I could be whoever the funk I
Speaker 1: want to be true, But the person who wants to
Speaker 1: marry you could be listening to this episode right now. Hey, babe,
Speaker 1: So you think that you you showed yourself as like
Speaker 1: a bride to be in this episode. Apps fucking lot.
Speaker 1: If you want to marry me, you listen to this episode.
Speaker 1: You are obsessed. I'm on the money.
Speaker 3: You're definitely the most booked. I mean, you have a
Speaker 3: lot of things going on.
Speaker 1: It's great. Wow, she got at least she got at
Speaker 1: least two.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just I'm just trying to get food for
Speaker 1: my family, for my two cats, for Marie. I do this.
Speaker 1: I do this for Marie. You do not. You do
Speaker 1: not do this for me, But I do this for you.
Speaker 1: You do this for Sydney, Jelly Jam, and you do
Speaker 1: it for the way, you're my emergency contact. If Marie
Speaker 1: wanted to, like, if she wanted to do what is
Speaker 1: it a partnership. That's not where you say you're married,
Speaker 1: but it's like that's what they do.
Speaker 2: To the gate domestic, the domestic partnership.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, partnership. I would do that with Marie.
Speaker 2: That's how I knew I had to leave my axes.
Speaker 2: He wanted he we were talking about domestic partnerships and
Speaker 2: I was like, this is over.
Speaker 1: He bought it up or you bought it up?
Speaker 2: Well, it was it was something where we were I
Speaker 2: don't remember who brought it up, but I remember the
Speaker 2: conversation had gone in that direction where it was like, oh,
Speaker 2: well instead of getting married, we'll do a domestic partnership.
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, no, we're not.
Speaker 1: He never wanted to get married at all.
Speaker 2: Uh. He would talk about wanting to get married and
Speaker 2: then nothing would happen. So that's like another that's like
Speaker 2: a way that men keep women on the hook.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, I wouldn't call it even that. It was like
Speaker 2: I don't think he never meant it, but I think
Speaker 2: he if he really dug deep down inside and got
Speaker 2: honest with himself and me. He would have been like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I don't want to do this, Like,
Speaker 2: but I don't think he I think he cared about me,
Speaker 2: so he couldn't really say that, like he was.
Speaker 4: Like, no, I want to stay in this for as
Speaker 4: long as he did.
Speaker 1: How long were y'all together?
Speaker 2: Five years?
Speaker 1: Yes, Sidney Elizabeth Washington stunts right there. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: think that some men. I think for some men, they
Speaker 1: say that because they think that they want it, but
Speaker 1: also they're very comfortable where they already are. It's like,
Speaker 1: well why they get married. I live with you. We
Speaker 1: got these six dogs together, like you take my toenails.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I popped the piple on your back the other
Speaker 1: day we together like and getting married is not for everybody,
Speaker 1: but that's how you end up with these couples that
Speaker 1: like your grandparents and they're like, my grandparents finally got
Speaker 1: married and it's like y'all been together for seventy two
Speaker 1: years and it's like yeah, and it's like right too,
Speaker 1: it was an arranged marriage. No, no, I'm saying women do.
Speaker 1: Women didn't have rights. They don't want rights.
Speaker 3: Sydney is coming with a history today.
Speaker 1: The everybody that's white is blonde because.
Speaker 4: Hitler designed blonde.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 2: Sydney has been on Reddit a couple of days. She
Speaker 2: has learned some theories.
Speaker 1: Where is the lie people? I need people to write
Speaker 1: in and be like Sydney actually that has a pointed.
Speaker 2: Sydney is gonna come on next week and be like
Speaker 2: Shonda Rhymes is in charge of the flatter And well.
Speaker 1: That's what Einstein was talking about. What he said, Actually, Sydney,
Speaker 1: this this is the city that I that I know
Speaker 1: and love, you know, the one that spits fact that
Speaker 1: is like this, this might be right, it sounds true.
Speaker 1: I love this. Sydney facts, Sydney facts, they're fun, they're fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the podcast is that was time for Sydney's facts and yeah,
Speaker 1: just a new segment that we're gonna bring to the
Speaker 1: podcast and Sydney give us like a fact that is like.
Speaker 2: You know what, I think that that doubles as merch.
Speaker 2: That could double as merch for sure. For sure that.
Speaker 3: Reviewer would wear that every single day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get the hoodie, you get a hoodie where
Speaker 2: you lift the hood up and there's a Sydney fact underneath.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what a picture, what a pictures.
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying, shark Tan, I'm just here for
Speaker 2: you guys to make money. You know, I'm trying to
Speaker 2: support Jelly and Jam.
Speaker 1: Wait, Marie, did you want to do the segment in
Speaker 1: between or you want to wait till the end?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean, Sidney, that's a beautiful transition that you just
Speaker 1: offer me the opportunity to throw in there. So we
Speaker 1: are coming up. We've come up with some segments for
Speaker 1: the podcast that we are going to start doing. Let's
Speaker 1: say next week, last first week of Black History Month,
Speaker 1: We're going to start these new segments. The first part.
Speaker 1: I think Sydney's facts should be one. I really do
Speaker 1: like that. How random and like fake they all are.
Speaker 1: They're real about Hitler. I know that's all right. All
Speaker 1: white people are not blonde because of Hitler. But I
Speaker 1: like what you hit is that Yeah, you know, but
Speaker 1: they want to be blonde. They want to be blonde
Speaker 1: because of that, that mentality.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like people want to be blonde anymore.
Speaker 1: I feel well, I think it's because people can't get
Speaker 1: to the hair dresser no more. Because right now, during
Speaker 1: the pandemic.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'll tell you, I honestly, my therapist, my therapist,
Speaker 2: my hairdresser. I went slash therapist. I went to her
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry, I just interrupted your segment thing, your
Speaker 2: segment announcement.
Speaker 4: Should I bring I can come back the story?
Speaker 1: You say, yeah, okay. Well, so I.
Speaker 2: Took time off from seeing her when all this started,
Speaker 2: and then I went back to her right before my wedding.
Speaker 4: She had been gone for four months. I come back.
Speaker 4: This bitch is in.
Speaker 2: QAnon like she was. She was like a normal person. No,
Speaker 2: she was like a normal person before It's beautiful. Lived
Speaker 2: in Brooklyn, moved to Jersey right before covid uh, spent
Speaker 2: four months in her house. Comes out of her house
Speaker 2: and she's in QAnon like she was. She was spouting
Speaker 2: insane shit to me about you know, the election was
Speaker 2: going to be rigged and all this, like all this
Speaker 2: shit while I was in her chair, and you know,
Speaker 2: Sydney was like, you got to get a new hairdresser,
Speaker 2: and I was like, no, no, no, this bitch knows
Speaker 2: how to cut my bangs. And so I'm in QAnon
Speaker 2: while I'm in her chair.
Speaker 4: That's what that is.
Speaker 2: I just I just sit there and agree with her
Speaker 2: while I'm in her chair.
Speaker 1: She did a great jobs bangs. Yeah, it is very
Speaker 1: It was very storm the Capitol bangs. First of all, they.
Speaker 2: Don't even have bangs, all right, they have not cut
Speaker 2: their bangs. They do theirs with a knife. Mine aren't
Speaker 2: even let's not drag my bangs. My bangs are probably
Speaker 2: the most put together part of me. Wow, Okay, that's
Speaker 2: We're just gonna just so these people know because they
Speaker 2: can't see.
Speaker 4: Me, and now they think.
Speaker 2: Now they think I look like Amanda from Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1: I think so. I feel it.
Speaker 2: She was wet, you know, for no reason, Like her
Speaker 2: whole face was wet. Uh, you know who I'm talking about?
Speaker 3: Right, she was holding the onion right in the towel.
Speaker 3: Was she like when she was crying?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about no, the one who got mace?
Speaker 3: Yes, she said I got maze And she was like
Speaker 3: telling that she got mazed. But then if you zoom
Speaker 3: in on the towel she hold she was holding an
Speaker 3: onion to make it like herself cry.
Speaker 1: Yes what yes method actress method. Yes, Oh, I didn't
Speaker 1: even see the onion at all.
Speaker 3: Right, you're talking about like, yeah, you look at the videos.
Speaker 2: I feel like this bitch was probably just eating an onion,
Speaker 2: Like that's how gross.
Speaker 1: She was like like an apple, yes, like an apple? Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like she just eats onions anyway. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: my hairdressers lost her goddamn mind. She's fully crazy and
Speaker 2: she's like Juliani makes good points. Is like what she was?
Speaker 1: Oh you girl, so did you tip her? Like talk
Speaker 1: to us about what? Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, Actually she charged me less, and I think it's
Speaker 2: because she could tell that I was freaked out, and
Speaker 2: she was like, you know, it's twenty dollars instead of
Speaker 2: like sixty.
Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, well.
Speaker 1: I was like, twenty dollars you go to super cuts?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is going on?
Speaker 2: No? Normally, I mean I'm spending a lot of money
Speaker 2: at that place. And she was like taking whatever from me.
Speaker 2: So I don't know if it's like she's got to
Speaker 2: lower her prices so she can speak her mind now
Speaker 2: or what Rosebud.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're going to a sliding scale hairstylist
Speaker 1: and you was dragging therapists before. That's say I'll do
Speaker 1: what based on income? That's what you get your hair?
Speaker 1: Good babe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but but she's not doing a terrible job.
Speaker 1: Okay, girl, scale therapist. Yeah, some of them are doing
Speaker 1: good work for thirty thirty to sixty dollars.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe not if you judge the people, but anyway,
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so thank you, thank you for telling us
Speaker 1: about your q Andon hairstylists while you know we were
Speaker 1: gonna do a segment that was sorry. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, You're right came in, you came in right
Speaker 1: on time.
Speaker 2: I thought, I you know what, I fucking I thought
Speaker 2: I was gonna get out of this episode without a
Speaker 2: bad review. And I feel like, I just I feel
Speaker 2: like next week there's gonna I'm gonna check your reviews
Speaker 2: every day this week. I'm gonna be obsessed with that.
Speaker 1: Ooh, bach I love this for us and realistically, Rosebud,
Speaker 1: we did talk about newlywed things, but is there something
Speaker 1: that you want to leave the listeners with before we
Speaker 1: go about how to survive being a newlywed or being
Speaker 1: one during a pandem you know?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So I think here's the thing.
Speaker 2: If you are a newlywed in a pandemic, it's gonna
Speaker 2: feel like the newlywed period is about a month, whereas
Speaker 2: normally it lasts about six months that gets shortened to
Speaker 2: about a month when you are a newlywed so in
Speaker 2: a pandemic, because you're spending a lot of time in
Speaker 2: the same space, you don't get to get away from them.
Speaker 2: You gotta, like, you gotta deal with all the annoyances
Speaker 2: that come along with being an pandemic together and all
Speaker 2: of the you know, the uncertainty that goes along with
Speaker 2: that life. Not to mention, my husband and I are
Speaker 2: both comedians, so there's whatever pandemic uncertainty there is that
Speaker 2: gets doubled because our jobs are illegal now. We cannot
Speaker 2: go on the road. We can't you know, everything has
Speaker 2: been shut down. So what the way I think to
Speaker 2: deal with that. No matter who you are, what your
Speaker 2: job is, is you gotta talk to each other. And
Speaker 2: it's hard because when you are in the same space
Speaker 2: all the time, it feels like, what is it? What
Speaker 2: is there that I could possibly have to say to
Speaker 2: this person? And the truth is it doesn't always have
Speaker 2: to be some deep talk. It doesn't have to be like,
Speaker 2: let's talk through our problems, let's talk about how we're feeling.
Speaker 2: But talk to them the way that you would your
Speaker 2: friends that you're on the phone with. Just talk about
Speaker 2: casual stuff that you go through during the day. Don't
Speaker 2: spend all of your time together in the same room,
Speaker 2: in your phone or as if you're alone in the house,
Speaker 2: because it starts to feel really lonely for your partner.
Speaker 2: And I kind of learned that the hard way because
Speaker 2: I was constantly on my phone and my husband would
Speaker 2: be like, Hey, I'm talking to you and you're just
Speaker 2: on your phone and you're not listening to what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So now when I when.
Speaker 5: I see Simmy, come on, Sydney, Okay, it all comes
Speaker 5: back to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Really, while you were talking, Sidney, what were you typing?
Speaker 3: And we could hear you typing onto your.
Speaker 1: Comput cities typing. She's texting on her laptop because people
Speaker 1: keep calling me. They keep calling me, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm on the pod. I'm on the pot, nigger Washington.
Speaker 1: That is exactly what who you are and how you
Speaker 1: treat us as we the people who are calling you.
Speaker 1: You can just tell you were doing the podcast and
Speaker 1: you couldn't talk when they called you. AnyWho, Rosebud, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta listen. You put your phone down. You I'd
Speaker 1: be less like Sydney and more like Andrew.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and uh, Andrew is also my husband's name,
Speaker 2: so that was a double meaning.
Speaker 1: Wait, you didn't even talk about sex, yo, what are you?
Speaker 1: What are you getting it in?
Speaker 4: Here's the thing?
Speaker 2: So, like she said, once a week, So I've noticed
Speaker 2: that when we don't talk, no, I am. When we
Speaker 2: don't talk, though, our sex drops to like once a week.
Speaker 2: Like if we're not talking to each other, if we're
Speaker 2: not like connecting with each other, it happens like once
Speaker 2: a week. And that's how we know something's fucked up.
Speaker 2: Like if we are not fucking, one of us will
Speaker 2: be like, uh, something's wrong, Like we we haven't been
Speaker 2: talking enough, we haven't been hanging out enough, we haven't
Speaker 2: gone on a date, we haven't gone on a walk together.
Speaker 2: You know, we haven't spent any time together. And you
Speaker 2: can tell because we're not fucking. So that's I think,
Speaker 2: like you hear that, You.
Speaker 5: Hear that, fellas, you gotta spend time with with with
Speaker 5: who you're with, you gotta like you gotta pay attention
Speaker 5: to them for them to want to fuck you.
Speaker 1: But you're in a pandemic if y'all are shacked up together,
Speaker 1: it's like you see them every fucking day. What you talking?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Being in a pandemic your partner feels like the perfect
Speaker 1: way to just have sex all day long.
Speaker 2: You would think that, But after a while, if you're
Speaker 2: not like talking to them or or anything, you just
Speaker 2: start to think of them as like I've already fucked you.
Speaker 2: And it's like, I know that sounds really brutal, but
Speaker 2: it's true. You just start to think of them as
Speaker 2: like I already know everything about you. So that's why
Speaker 2: it's so connected. Like communication and sex are so connected,
Speaker 2: Like especially women and men. Men have sex the way
Speaker 2: that women like they need to have sex the way
Speaker 2: that women need to communicate, so and women need to
Speaker 2: communicate as much as they need to have sex. So
Speaker 2: it's like you have to meet that in the middle.
Speaker 2: You know, you have to do that.
Speaker 1: Are y'all listening to these gyms? The conversation is the
Speaker 1: four play. You can't have sex with me if you
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm doing today? Yeah, go to the supermarket.
Speaker 1: How am I did I stick to my mom today?
Speaker 1: You want to know these things? Yeah, you can have
Speaker 1: sex with me and it'll be wop wop wop. And
Speaker 1: that's why I will say as lesbian, I'm having the
Speaker 1: best sex of my life because all we fucking do
Speaker 1: is talk. We're talking while we have sex. You know
Speaker 1: they're talking right now. Yeah, yeah, my pussy is ripping
Speaker 1: right now. Well that's why germ.
Speaker 2: So that's where she got that cup of water before.
Speaker 1: Jam said always sound wet over here. Let me sit
Speaker 1: right on the laptop.
Speaker 2: Jam just brought a bucket and a mop.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's macaroni in a pot. Go ahead, no, no
Speaker 1: you oh, I was gonna wrap it up something you okay.
Speaker 4: I love that you put your hat on to wrap
Speaker 4: it up.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't like the way the top of my
Speaker 1: head was looking. This is my shut it down hat.
Speaker 1: Fun fact, this is a I got this hat in
Speaker 1: Paris at a thrift shop. It's German and somebody told
Speaker 1: me that this is a like a Nazi officer hat.
Speaker 1: So what this hat is why Rosebud is a blonde.
Speaker 2: Now and practically it actually perfectly would cover my roots.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why they made those hats.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm gonna need you to go on and
Speaker 1: uber eats that hat to Rosebud. Please. It's very necessary
Speaker 1: door dash. I'm gonna put it in the bag that
Speaker 1: you sent me with the receipt that you sent me
Speaker 1: as well. But thank you so much for sharing your
Speaker 1: newlywed life with us people who are listening where they
Speaker 1: can catch you. Friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a podcast that I started on the
Speaker 2: first day of Quarantine with my husband called Bind Your Beach. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and we were engaged by the third episode, so it
Speaker 2: has basically covered our entire marriage throughout the pandemic.
Speaker 4: It's very silly. It's just like it's just two.
Speaker 2: Comedians having fun in a house by themselves.
Speaker 1: Did he propose on the podcast?
Speaker 2: No, Oh my god, disgusting.
Speaker 1: But I will say Rosebud and Andy are disgusting together
Speaker 1: because they're very they're very punchy up. They punch up
Speaker 1: as if they're in a writer's room. So it's not
Speaker 1: just like it's not like regular people just joking. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: but then they're doing this, and then they're doing another tag,
Speaker 1: and then another tag. It's three tags on each joke.
Speaker 1: It's very it's very structured. We we're there together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can see. You can basically watch the clips
Speaker 2: from it on my Instagram at rosebud Baker. There's clips
Speaker 2: from our podcast all over there, so you can enjoy that.
Speaker 2: And if you love a couple that roasts each other,
Speaker 2: that we are right up your alley.
Speaker 1: A couple that roast together stays together, okay, And that's
Speaker 1: why that's why me and Marie are still going strong.
Speaker 1: I mean trying to break up with me today, but
Speaker 1: just like a man, you ain't going nowhere you try
Speaker 1: to bring up with me when you try to bring
Speaker 1: up with me, when you started that Michael's podcast without me,
Speaker 1: what I'll say about this podcast and now she's acting
Speaker 1: like it came out of nowhere. I said about it,
Speaker 1: I said litter about this. I saw the cover art
Speaker 1: on her page and I was like, well, we changed
Speaker 1: the name of the podcast, thought was the Xbox You motherfuckerlow.
Speaker 1: The way you're just showing your ass today, I don't
Speaker 1: believe it, Honestly, Sidney, I feel like me dragging your
Speaker 1: new podcast is going to make people want to listen
Speaker 1: to it just to see what you're doing over there
Speaker 1: without me, you know that? Being said, I am on
Speaker 1: the first episode, which is which is it's already out.
Speaker 1: It's already out, Okay, So before we go. We we
Speaker 1: wanted to introduce two new segments to the podcast. One
Speaker 1: you know, Sydney and I we talk about we tell
Speaker 1: each other's business, Well, you know, we we try, so
Speaker 1: we want we actually tell each other's business on the Patreon.
Speaker 1: So that's where y'all should really be going bop. But
Speaker 1: you know, take your time. You know this, this, this
Speaker 1: last episode might be too hot for some of y'all
Speaker 1: to handle. Yeah, it's I'm actually embarrassed by the teas
Speaker 1: O yikes. Anyway, so we want you guys to start
Speaker 1: sharing your tea with us. And it doesn't necessarily be
Speaker 1: just your business, but we want you to tell us
Speaker 1: something good. Send us the gossip of the community. Why
Speaker 1: is the cashier mad at the mechanic across the street? Like?
Speaker 1: What did your stepmother do when she drank too many
Speaker 1: save blancs slash white claws?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: Are you fucking your best friends? Man? Tell us that?
Speaker 1: Send Okay, you forgot your panties where? Tell us? We
Speaker 1: want to know why you got fired from you know,
Speaker 1: the ups job that you had. So are you claiming
Speaker 1: unemployment but you are fully employed? Let it? Well, maybe
Speaker 1: don't tell it, but yeah, no, tell us.
Speaker 3: That us anonymous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it should be anonymous. We don't know how
Speaker 1: to read the names that y'all.
Speaker 2: Have, So tell them how how you pulled that off,
Speaker 2: because that's like a scam that some people I want
Speaker 2: to get.
Speaker 1: In on right, and tell us how you managed to
Speaker 1: graduate from college on tom would appoint six GPA. What
Speaker 1: did you do? They was fucking they was professors, That's
Speaker 1: what they were doing. But that's what we want to know.
Speaker 1: So that's the first new segment. Tell me something good.
Speaker 1: Is this tea hot? We send it to us and
Speaker 1: then will decide, you know, oh this tea is good.
Speaker 1: So the mess here it is or the juice here
Speaker 1: it is, the more we'll enjoy it. And in Sydney
Speaker 1: the second segment. The second segment. Second segment is basically
Speaker 1: you know up top we usually say like what our
Speaker 1: expertise is for the week, So we want you guys
Speaker 1: to pitch to us different expertises. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be real. It just has to be something good enough
Speaker 1: that you feel comfortable pitching for sixty seconds. Yes, and
Speaker 1: we need it on a voice memo, Yeah, recorded on
Speaker 1: your phone. Send us a sixty second pitch of what
Speaker 1: you think that you are an expert in and then
Speaker 1: prove it to us, tell us why and how, and
Speaker 1: then Andrew will decide.
Speaker 3: If so, you can send I guess both of this
Speaker 3: information to unofficial expertise at gmail dot com. That's an
Speaker 3: official expert with I s at gmail dot com. I
Speaker 3: will figure out how to do like the actual like
Speaker 3: you can call on but for right now, if you
Speaker 3: can figure out how to send a voice memo over Gmail,
Speaker 3: that would be great.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean if you have an iPhone, it's real easy.
Speaker 1: You just go to your extras, you click voice memos,
Speaker 1: you record for sixty seconds, you send it to the
Speaker 1: not the but unofficial expertise dot com. Oh, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited about all the tea that we gonna get next week.
Speaker 1: This feels fun. And you know, also, if you want
Speaker 1: to cheat on the pod just a little bit, I
Speaker 1: do have a new one called oh hobby Hunter. And
Speaker 1: if you're if you feel like I'm not paying attention
Speaker 1: enough here, then come on on down to a hobby
Speaker 1: Hunter where I'm fully a my guess unbelievable.
Speaker 2: I love that she just did not that was beautiful.
Speaker 1: This was not discussed in the morning meeting. This has
Speaker 1: been an incredible episode, And thank you guys for sending
Speaker 1: that bad review, because now I'm gonna be on my
Speaker 1: ass and I'm gonna work harder to prove to y'all
Speaker 1: and Marie and Andrew that I do want to be here.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for that review, because it did
Speaker 1: make Sidney. She was googling Wikipedia facts about history to
Speaker 1: share with us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's your angle.
Speaker 1: In history, Rosebud. Thank you for being just an excellent
Speaker 1: Alabaster guest. You you're not going to be reviewed negatively.
Speaker 1: That was great. Sha your hairdress it though, but you
Speaker 1: were fantastic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's she deserves it. That's fine, you guys,
Speaker 2: thank you so much. I love doing this podcast. I
Speaker 2: love both of you.
Speaker 4: This was great.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Go go have a cammversation with your husband.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone, talk to your husband. Talk to my husband.
Speaker 2: Actually for me, talk to your husband.
Speaker 1: And while you're at it, gone over to iTunes in
Speaker 1: comment review, do all those good things, tell a friend
Speaker 1: that the podcast is amazing, repost us. Do all things
Speaker 1: that you do for Ariana Grande. I need y'all to
Speaker 1: do that for us. More people need to listen to
Speaker 1: the POI.
Speaker 6: This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert
Speaker 6: is executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey.
Speaker 6: Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art
Speaker 6: by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast ad free,
Speaker 6: sign up for Forever Dog Plus at Foreverdog Podcasts dot
Speaker 6: com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts
Speaker 6: on YouTube at YouTube tube dot com slash Foreverdog Team,
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