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Speaker 1: Ah beaute force. If it doesn't work, you're just not

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Speaker 1: using enough. You're listening to Software Radio Special Operations, Military

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Speaker 1: News and straight talk with the guys and the community

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Speaker 1: Software Radio on Time on Target, I mean Scotto here

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Speaker 1: with Jim West and Charlie and the Silvera, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: get into everything. Uh. This show is brought to you

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Speaker 1: fishing spears. But like for example, that tactical penn we

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Speaker 1: had that's gone. Those those are all sold out. So

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Speaker 1: you're gonna love on air drop and you could probably

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Speaker 1: hear the ambient noise outside because it's, uh, it was

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Speaker 1: like too hot in here, so I had the open windows.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds very very unprofessional. Um. Jim West in

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Speaker 1: studio and it's so funny. The last time that Jack

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Speaker 1: and I were on we talked about the new book,

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Speaker 1: Messages from Beyond, and we and I was basically saying, like,

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Speaker 1: is this book ever gonna come out? Because Jim has

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Speaker 1: talked at this point about three books coming out and

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Speaker 1: it's actually out. Also in studio with us is Charlene

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Speaker 1: to sell with the co author who I'm meeting for

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Speaker 1: the first time. I've talked to Jim countless time, So

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Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Nice meet you too. So I

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Speaker 1: think the first thing to get into is like, how

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Speaker 1: did you two hook up? When you told me that

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Speaker 1: you were working with a co author. I assumed it

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Speaker 1: was someone older writing from the experience of you who

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Speaker 1: just turned sixty five, and I I didn't expect your

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Speaker 1: call author to be a twenty five year old young

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Speaker 1: female author. Yeah. That that's kind of weird because in

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Speaker 1: this you know, we were working I was working on

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Speaker 1: the autobiography. So this book is not my autobiography. It

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Speaker 1: is gonna be coming out within a year. Um. And

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Speaker 1: I was working with Jack for a long time. Jack's

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Speaker 1: a great writer, as we know. And the deal is,

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Speaker 1: we got to a certain point within the book and

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Speaker 1: he said, Jim, this is like the hardest thing I've

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Speaker 1: ever had to do, and it's the right as if

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Speaker 1: I'm another person, like I'm mute. So um. He turned

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Speaker 1: over the manuscript and everything that we've been working on

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Speaker 1: for actually a couple of years. And uh, so I

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Speaker 1: started working on it. And I don't know how many

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Speaker 1: copies you've seen, but I've been through quite a few,

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Speaker 1: you know, just updating all the time. And then I

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Speaker 1: met with a guy here in the city, uh who's

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Speaker 1: a business agent, and he says he looked at my

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Speaker 1: business plan, which is failing many areas, and he says, so,

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Speaker 1: of the many things I would like to do, let's

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Speaker 1: get your autobiography out, but let's make it the last book.

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Speaker 1: You're right now. What sent means put another book out,

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Speaker 1: but two or three books. I put one out of

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Speaker 1: quarter one a month. He's a bill momentum with these books.

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Speaker 1: Before we put your autobiography out of Okay, I'll do that.

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Speaker 1: So I started writing what what I'm best at, and

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Speaker 1: that's fighting. And also I had a lot of street fights,

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Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of street fights, and I'm a tenth

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Speaker 1: to greet black belt martial arts. Uh. I've trained competitors

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Speaker 1: for the UFC, trained Dale and many others. I've trained

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Speaker 1: Navy seals, uh see I agency guys now you know,

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Speaker 1: formal competitors seeing on pay per view and all that

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Speaker 1: good stuff. So it's just what I do best. I've

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Speaker 1: been fighting my whole life. So I started. I figured, well,

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Speaker 1: the best thing I can do with the second book,

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Speaker 1: which will come out, is I would tell a fight story.

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Speaker 1: And there twenty three technical fight principles that were written

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Speaker 1: by Joe Lewis, Bruce Lee and all that crowd. And

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Speaker 1: I did a lot of training with Joe Lewis through

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Speaker 1: the years, so I adopted the and I said, well,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be very difficult for the average reader to

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Speaker 1: really grasp and learn what twenty three technical fight principles are,

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Speaker 1: so we had to break that down in a different way.

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Speaker 1: And and so I started writing this book, and I

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Speaker 1: write a story about a boat you know, knockdown, drag

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Speaker 1: out ball room brawl, some of which we're told right

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Speaker 1: here on your show. And uh then it as I

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Speaker 1: got closer to the what I thought might be the end,

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Speaker 1: I go, man, I just can't get this book out there,

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Speaker 1: like you know, once again here we are, I can't

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Speaker 1: kick it over the finish line. And the main reason

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Speaker 1: was because I thought of myself as sort of a

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Speaker 1: sage that anyone, anyone could learn from, not just professional

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Speaker 1: fighters or basic karate student, but people on the street

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Speaker 1: they don't have time to hit the gym, but are

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Speaker 1: concerned about getting mug jump, you know, just basic street survival.

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Speaker 1: So I said, who wants to learn from a sage

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Speaker 1: that's got a book full of bar you know, drunken

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Speaker 1: barroom brawls. You know, So what am I? How am

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Speaker 1: I gonna learn from a drunk right? Although this audience

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Speaker 1: knows your background, you know, I like, I feel like

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Speaker 1: this audience is gonna pack up anything you put out,

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Speaker 1: which you know, and the current book, which you should say,

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Speaker 1: his messages from beyond, which they're gonna pick up. So

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Speaker 1: this is the neat thing because Charlene wanted to expand

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Speaker 1: my background. Uh you know the audience and and I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you how that works. So I thought about, I

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Speaker 1: gotta come up with something else. And about a month

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Speaker 1: and a half, two months ago, I'm driving down the

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Speaker 1: road going on Sundays, I go to the Sands down

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Speaker 1: in Bethlehem, and it's when that arctic blast was coming

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Speaker 1: through and it was like two degrees outside. All the

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Speaker 1: trees are barrenness, misty, rainy, and I've seen this hawk

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Speaker 1: sitting on top of a tree like he's pulling guard duty.

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Speaker 1: And for the next seven or eight miles the sky

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Speaker 1: is full of like crows just being whipped around. And

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Speaker 1: at the very same time, I'm talking to one of

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Speaker 1: my uh former Special Forces brothers named Paul Williams, and

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Speaker 1: I've known for forty two years. He's a Louisiana Cajun

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Speaker 1: creole kind of guy that has a neat accent. It

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Speaker 1: was Sunday morning, and said, all this images were coming

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Speaker 1: to me at one time. I'm talking to Paul. I said,

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Speaker 1: I didn't wake up that a Paul, And he goes, no, man,

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Speaker 1: he's got that accent, you know. He goes, I'm getting

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Speaker 1: ready to go to church. Isn't really, I said, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know. I'm knowing you for all these years, I

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Speaker 1: never knew that you went to church. And Paul goes, no, man,

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Speaker 1: he says, uh, you know, I hadn't lived in perfect life,

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Speaker 1: he said. And you know God's coming, he said, But Jim,

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Speaker 1: the Devil's coming too, he says. I like, I like

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Speaker 1: to be prepared, you know, And and I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: visually taking in all this other stuff with the birds

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Speaker 1: and stuff. Which I just had this epiphany at that

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Speaker 1: and I'd already hired. I'll tell you why I picked Charlene.

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Speaker 1: But I called Charlene, I said, I had this epiphany.

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Speaker 1: I explained the same story to her. What do you

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Speaker 1: think that that would be awesome? Right? And so I'll

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Speaker 1: put down the you know pages Monday morning, sent it

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Speaker 1: to her, and I to tell you Charlene is a

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Speaker 1: if you need a writer, and she's a good one.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you why. You know, Jack Murphy and I

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Speaker 1: click on every single level, you know, technically tactically as friends,

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Speaker 1: but to write as you know, first person, like you're

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Speaker 1: actually that person, you really got to get into their

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Speaker 1: head in a different way. Right. But which, as I said,

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Speaker 1: that was so funny though, because Jack's life is quite

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Speaker 1: a lot more similar to yours than Charleen's. You were

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Speaker 1: you both were in the army. You both were special operations.

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Speaker 1: He you're quite older, but but he has that experience.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, it's just it's obviously a very unique

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Speaker 1: skill that not everybody's going to have. But I actually

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Speaker 1: want to hear from Surelie, how did you guys actually

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Speaker 1: meet before the concept of the butt Um? He contacted

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Speaker 1: me on the internet. He found me, and uh, we

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Speaker 1: start talking through email. It just happened that we were

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Speaker 1: both in the city, so it was even better because

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Speaker 1: we're able to meet face to face and we just

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Speaker 1: basically hit off from there, you know. Um yeah, we

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Speaker 1: started meaning like every week, like like twice a week,

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Speaker 1: twice or three times a week, and yeah, we just um,

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Speaker 1: you know, Jim told me his ideas and I've never

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Speaker 1: worked with anybody who has his background. I never worked

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Speaker 1: with anybody who was in the military. Um, people usually

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Speaker 1: work with this far far different than than Jim Man

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Speaker 1: For me, Um, it's very exciting. Um, Jesse hear about

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Speaker 1: these things because I've never heard such stories that Jim

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Speaker 1: has told me. So I'm like, yeah, you know, I

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Speaker 1: just want to learn more. Um, it's really really great

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Speaker 1: and I absolutely love marking with Jim. He's such a

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Speaker 1: great guy and he's such a unique character. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you will never find anybody like Jim west never, Like

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Speaker 1: this is like the one and only, so they only

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Speaker 1: be one in Weston. That's that's end. Basically, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: agree more so. So then where did the messages from

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Speaker 1: beyond what you're getting into, the messages from beyond concepts

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Speaker 1: come from? You know that conversation? How did it flush out? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So so what happened was, like she said, I went

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Speaker 1: online from my my perspective, I decided I want to

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Speaker 1: get these books written. It was the fight book originally,

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Speaker 1: and maybe if that went well, we could work on

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Speaker 1: the autobiography together. And so she's one of the more

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Speaker 1: expensive online but she you know, and I didn't know

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Speaker 1: she was New York based until we communicated a few times,

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Speaker 1: which you know, we started meeting, and uh, when I

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Speaker 1: was talking about these technical fight principles that there they

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Speaker 1: you know, it's about how to develop speed and timing, rhythm,

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Speaker 1: all kinds of what most people consider fight conversation that

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Speaker 1: you could learn from. And so I center all these documents,

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Speaker 1: and I'm driving back from the sands down in Pennsylvania

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Speaker 1: now talking to her on the phone. I said, so,

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Speaker 1: we're getting ready to hang up any more questions because

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Speaker 1: we're also interviewed on the phone quite a bit. And

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Speaker 1: she says, yeah, these technical fight principles, could you tell

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Speaker 1: me about breath control? And I'm like, holy shit. Excuse

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Speaker 1: my language as as I like, holy sh it. I said,

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Speaker 1: of all the things, that's the one thing that you

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Speaker 1: want to ask me. I said, that's the most probably

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Speaker 1: the most complicated, complex part of all of the fight principles.

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Speaker 1: And uh, in my inner being was telling me some

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Speaker 1: part of Charlene has experienced moments in her life where

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Speaker 1: she's lost her breath and maybe some panic may have

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Speaker 1: set in. And being that she's a twenty five year

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Speaker 1: old female, and one thing that we haven't talked about,

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Speaker 1: she also has a second grade black belt in taekwondo.

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Speaker 1: She does she does understand some fight fighting training and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So the commonality started coming together other and uh, the

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Speaker 1: fact that you know a younger female, even an older

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Speaker 1: female for that matter, could could go straight to that

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Speaker 1: breath control tells me they have experienced, which even to

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Speaker 1: this day. I don't. She hasn't confided in me, but

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Speaker 1: I know that there's some part of her that has

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Speaker 1: been been confronted with the situation like that, and it's

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Speaker 1: very personal and passionate to her. And that that was

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Speaker 1: the common common bond, that the glue that I said,

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Speaker 1: I need to talk more, I need to share more,

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Speaker 1: and and so and trust me, we go through, I'll

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Speaker 1: write something. She makes it better. I said, No, that's

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Speaker 1: not the way I talked. She makes it better. And

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Speaker 1: I mean it's not like I just sent her a manuscript.

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Speaker 1: She puts as much time into it as I do, honestly,

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Speaker 1: and and really I think, try to put yourself into

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Speaker 1: my shoes. Yeah, absolutely, Um, yeah, I mean the whole

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Speaker 1: breath control thing. I mean, I'll tell you why though.

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Speaker 1: It's because I mean, it's not besides the personal experience

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Speaker 1: which I had outside of sparring. Like within, I was

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Speaker 1: just thinking about in turns, when I used to spar

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Speaker 1: in tournaments and stuff like that, when we have like

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Speaker 1: points sparring and all that, I would just lose my

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Speaker 1: breath so quickly and I will just get so worn,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it's just like exhausted because I'm facing

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Speaker 1: against other people who are also in their prime, and

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Speaker 1: they're like kicking my ass. So by the end of it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty cool. Because breath control. I mean, whether you're

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Speaker 1: in the streets here in the studio, you know, like,

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Speaker 1: oh god, I've got New York noise in the background,

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Speaker 1: you have that moment of hesitation, and you know me

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Speaker 1: pretty well, uh I. And one of the things I

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Speaker 1: preach in life is just zero hesitation. And so we

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Speaker 1: had a lengthy conversation about how to even train yourself

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Speaker 1: not only to exhaustion, but through exhaustion. So we got

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Speaker 1: into a lot of that stuff. But anyway, like I said,

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Speaker 1: the message is from beyond this new book. Uh. When

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Speaker 1: I had this epiphany, I thought about how can I

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Speaker 1: how can I set the stage so that when the

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Speaker 1: people buy my next books. I mean, half of my

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Speaker 1: adult life before, up until the point that my oldest

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Speaker 1: son was murdered sixteen years ago, I just hurt a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. I was a different person. I didn't

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Speaker 1: care much about people's feelings physically or mentally. I just

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Speaker 1: enjoyed almost hurting people. I mean, you know, Charlie seen

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Speaker 1: seeing my entire background, and she's interviewed quite a few

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Speaker 1: people also, and she'll tell you, I've had a pretty

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Speaker 1: tragical upbringing, right, so and and so even in the

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Speaker 1: next book, I can tell you what the name is

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Speaker 1: gonna be already as long as it's it's not copyrighted

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Speaker 1: somewhere else. It's uh, it's called the turning point. So

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Speaker 1: we had to pick a point in my life that

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Speaker 1: instead of hurting people, I could start helping people. That's

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Speaker 1: kind of what the second book is driving towards. But

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Speaker 1: just to get back to this book in particular, the

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Speaker 1: focal point is like near death experience, and that's where

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Speaker 1: the book starts out. It's not near death, it's death. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if if you want to put it that way. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he actually was pronounced dead. Um he um. Jim was

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Speaker 1: involved in the car crash and he basically by the

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Speaker 1: time he got there, he was like pronounced dead, like

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Speaker 1: legally dead. So I mean you'll see you in the

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Speaker 1: book and uh, yeah, it's quite he just manages manages

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Speaker 1: to come back alive. You just just wake up. And

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Speaker 1: I mean once you once you read the book, you'll

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Speaker 1: see what happens. But yeah, it's really quite amazing what

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Speaker 1: happens between from the time that he dies to the

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Speaker 1: moment that he wakes up. Yeah. So yeah, and this

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Speaker 1: is something you've ever really talked about. What what made

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Speaker 1: you decide that this is how you wanted to start

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Speaker 1: the first bucket in a series of books. It seems well.

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Speaker 1: And I may even ask Charlene to uh step in

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Speaker 1: here anytime, you know, in order to get that second

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Speaker 1: book out, which would lead to the autobiography, which is

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Speaker 1: another complex story. And I thought about a turning point

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Speaker 1: of when my son died, and then I said, the

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Speaker 1: more I thought about it, I started realizing that there's

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Speaker 1: a common thread. That's why I say messages and and

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Speaker 1: the thought is that as human beings, we received messages

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Speaker 1: all the time, maybe in dreams or nightmares or visions.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to die necessarily. But that took me

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Speaker 1: to a place and and I'll be honest with you,

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Speaker 1: I didn't see bright lights until many years later in

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Speaker 1: an actual dream. And it dawned on me as we

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Speaker 1: were discussing all this stuff that there's a thread that

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Speaker 1: I've been aware of. It's like early warnings that have

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Speaker 1: been out there in my life, my whole life, that

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Speaker 1: I've chosen to ignore, so even driving towards some of

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Speaker 1: the fights and the rest of my life, the messages

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Speaker 1: from beyond. Yeah, it tells a story about what I

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Speaker 1: experienced when I was pronounced dead, but it also has

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Speaker 1: a thread that that ties everything together before actually during

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Speaker 1: that time and even in my thoughts today. So I

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Speaker 1: just thought it would be a great way to introduce

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Speaker 1: myself to the world before you read the bad and

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Speaker 1: the good and you know, all the other stuff, because

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that motivate me that otherwise

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Speaker 1: it would would not make sense to read some of

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Speaker 1: the stuff that's gonna come out in the future. Yeah. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: And I think, uh, we discussed about this. Um. You know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people who know Jim or heard about Jim,

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Speaker 1: they want to hear all the I'm gonna necessarily call

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Speaker 1: it that stuff, but him like, you know, being a badass.

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Speaker 1: You know, all the fights that he's been in and all, um,

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Speaker 1: all the operations he participating in. I think a lot

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Speaker 1: a lot of people will be surprised or probably shocked

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Speaker 1: by this first book because it shows a totally different

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Speaker 1: sign of Jim. You know, you know that dreams and

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Speaker 1: nightmares aspect the messages that they hold in the PTSD aspect,

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Speaker 1: which a lot of that's deal with. It's a common

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Speaker 1: thread so we touch upon that as well. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's incredibly interesting because it just definitely

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Speaker 1: shows a whole different syogen Yeah. I don't glass you

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Speaker 1: brought that up, because it does drive to you know,

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Speaker 1: a big part of my One of the things I

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Speaker 1: think about on a day to day basis is that

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Speaker 1: there's not just military but there's like two guys a day,

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Speaker 1: you know with PTSD, combat veterans that commits suicide. But

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Speaker 1: cause they don't have anything to reach into to go,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to make mistakes. Well, you know, with these

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Speaker 1: turning points in my life, and when I started flashing

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Speaker 1: back to I mean, I almost put this death experience

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Speaker 1: away for a long time as if it didn't really happen.

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Speaker 1: And as as I got older and I'm blessed to

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Speaker 1: be at sixty five, to be really honest, then I

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Speaker 1: have an opportunity to share my story so that we

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Speaker 1: can actually help guys to have PTSD. And it's just

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Speaker 1: not that but you know, rape victims, assault victims, you know,

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Speaker 1: car crash people that have PTSD. You know, if you

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Speaker 1: don't do certain stuff and don't know where to reach.

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Speaker 1: You're crawl into this cave somewhere where you gotta have

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Speaker 1: spen alone time. And frankly, that's some bad things happen.

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Speaker 1: And I found a way to occupy that alone time

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Speaker 1: with messages and thoughts that aren't all negative. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: know that was a dark time because you know when

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Speaker 1: when Leo Jenkins and those guys came to New York

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Speaker 1: and read their poetry, you did. I I just said,

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Speaker 1: don't know if you want to shake my hand, I

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a cold gul goes to shake

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Speaker 1: my hand. But yeah, you you wrote a very dark

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Speaker 1: poem about that time of being in your cave and

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Speaker 1: and you know, not communicating with the outside world. That's perfect. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because that that I kept writing that. I said one day,

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Speaker 1: I know I like writing because when I'm ever since

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Speaker 1: I met Jack, and I would encourage anybody to write,

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Speaker 1: not just for any other reason. But I'll share a story.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I went to cannot share my PTSD story?

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Speaker 1: Of course, Well I'll tell you what it is. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't constant denial all my time, my whole life. You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't have PTSD just like everyone else. And uh

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Speaker 1: you know, when my son got killed, I couldn't tell

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Speaker 1: you that that turning point happened the day after. It

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Speaker 1: might have taken my five to eight years as my

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Speaker 1: world started coming to a grind. I mean, immediately after

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Speaker 1: his passing away, I just wanted to get drunk and

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Speaker 1: I was angry and I didn't want to be saying

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. I got a few fights.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I was hitting down a really dark path. Now.

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Speaker 1: I thought maybe if I write a write a poet

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Speaker 1: of music anything, you know. Now, I didn't put any

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Speaker 1: any true value on what writing can do for certain people,

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Speaker 1: but I tried and put it away, and I got

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Speaker 1: all these thousands of documents that I think Charlene is

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Speaker 1: in possession of now that you know, I just it's

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Speaker 1: not it's not grouped together in his specific fashion. That's

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Speaker 1: another thing that she's really great at, is making sense

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Speaker 1: of it all after all kinds of interviews together and meetings.

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Speaker 1: But uh so, what happened is this grind finally got

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Speaker 1: to me. With the economy failing trying to stay work,

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Speaker 1: I got screwed over in business life twenty years ago

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Speaker 1: by some guy out of Richmond, Virginia that embezzled a

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Speaker 1: lot of my money. Yeah, his first name is David.

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Speaker 1: I leave it that know, some people will know who

378
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: he is. He's a gym but not not not not

379
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Speaker 1: a j I am. But uh so, anyway with this,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was, I was kind of in my pits.

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Speaker 1: And it's also mentioned in the book. We talked about

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Speaker 1: my son's death and things that we shared ahead of

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Speaker 1: time before he died. This is why these messages kind

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Speaker 1: of all string together. They've been there the whole time.

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Speaker 1: But as uh as as as I was getting into

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Speaker 1: this stuff, I got up to New York and I

387
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Speaker 1: didn't realize that being a Southerner in New York in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the winter with a bunch of hardcore

389
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: construction work is that the culture is totally different. I

390
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Speaker 1: was on my feet all day, all the combat wounds,

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Speaker 1: all the ruck sack marches, all the stuff that aches

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Speaker 1: your body. You know, it gets amplified in New York

393
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Speaker 1: when you're standing around all it's cold, your joints hurt

394
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Speaker 1: if you're healthy, right, and uh I was like, holy crap,

395
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Speaker 1: I'm dying. I'm getting ahold. You know, there's just I'm

396
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Speaker 1: much tougher than this. I'm still battling with myself. And

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Speaker 1: I kept flashing by to when my son got killed,

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Speaker 1: and eventually my whole world came to a screeching halt,

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Speaker 1: at which point in time I personally felt like my

400
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 1: son was killed because it was karma, that God was

401
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: punishing me for everything I've done bad in my life.

402
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: And then I started feeling shame guilty about things I

403
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: should be proud of. You know, I'm really fortunate to

404
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: have gotten through that that pride, you know, where I

405
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: could start feeling prideful of the things I did accomplish

406
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Speaker 1: through my life. Which, by the way, we talked about

407
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Speaker 1: my son earlier when I said, think about the things

408
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: that you did, do you know, forget about the bad stuff.

409
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: It's not to forget about it. What your other son.

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00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: It was something we were talking about. Yes, yeah, I

411
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Speaker 1: have another son that occasionally his daddy's advice. Right so,

412
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: but but but as it goes forward, I was talking

413
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Speaker 1: to my friends and I said, Jim, you need to

414
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Speaker 1: go to the v A. You need to check in.

415
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: I'm like a funk this. I was feeling kind of violent. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I showed up at the v A here in the

417
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Speaker 1: Bronx and I went to the PTSD clinic, never been there. Embarrassed,

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Speaker 1: this isn't who I am, you know, and why are

419
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: you here? I said, Wow, I don't know, and this

420
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: is a true statement. I said, I'm functionally fucked up.

421
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 1: I said, what do you mean? You're functionally fucked up?

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Speaker 1: Is it? Well? I get up every day, I go

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Speaker 1: to work every day. I'm really good at what I do.

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Speaker 1: Then I go home at night, and then I go

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Speaker 1: to sleep, and then all that ship comes back to me,

426
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: those dreams as nightmares of people being killed, of killing people,

427
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: whatever it is. I mean, it just comes back of

428
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: my son's death, of just so many thoughts that just

429
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: flood your brain. And trust me, I could see where

430
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: if a person had no outlet or nothing else to

431
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: draw from, he could think about, you know, taking his

432
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: own life or hurting someone else. And you know, we

433
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: want to get away from that, right So uh. Then

434
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: there he asked me, well, do you feel like hurting

435
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: anybody now? I said, no, No, one's pissed me off lately.

436
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 1: You know, do you feel like hurting yourself? And I

437
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: refrain from telling them that. At one point I did

438
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,199
Speaker 1: in my life, and it's gonna be in one of

439
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: my other books. Uh, but that was just a ten

440
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: second fleeting moment that never entered my mind before or after.

441
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: It was just you know sometimes that that flash gets you,

442
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: you know. But so I was going through the the

443
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: normal you know, rigors of you know, going to therapists,

444
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 1: going to social workers to see if I was lying

445
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: or whatever. And the number one question they kept asking

446
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: me is your PTSD because your son died the way

447
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 1: you brought up or because of combat? And I said,

448
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: I think it's all of them, and it's all tied

449
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: together here actually. But um so finally I went to

450
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: see this doctor, actual psychiatrist, and I thought he was

451
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: an Arab. I'm looking out at the TV monitor right

452
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: outside of his office and he's asking tell me about

453
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: the first time you ever killed anybody. And then of

454
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: course I was in the desert too, and uh, if

455
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 1: you go on on the internet and look up the

456
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: Highway of Death and after the Desert storm or you'll

457
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 1: see one of the places I had the luxury spending

458
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 1: time with tens of thousands of dead people. But you know,

459
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: so I was I was saying, I don't want to

460
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: talk to this guy, and who the funk are you?

461
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: I'm getting out of here. And so I just left

462
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 1: and I called one of my friends, actually, Gary O'Neil.

463
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: I said, Gary, I can't. I can't do this. Man,

464
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna get benefits. I'm never gonna get care.

465
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 1: Screw this, I'm not doing it. He says, that's perfect, Gems.

466
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: What do you mean that's perfect? He says, you did

467
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: exactly what guys of PTSD would be doing. I said, really,

468
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: what should I do now? He just go back? I said,

469
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 1: should I get another? Doctor? Said no, go back to

470
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: the very same doctor. I'm like fuck. So I did.

471
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: And it took a little while. I went back and

472
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: I thought I would shift gears so I wouldn't talk

473
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: about anything to happen in the desert. I talked about

474
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 1: some covert operations and I did down in Central America

475
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 1: where people were killed and UH, specifically, UH one of

476
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: the local command general's sons got killed not two feet

477
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 1: to my left, had half his head and neck blown

478
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: out and lashed on me. And you know, the details

479
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: of the story will come out later. But so I

480
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: figured out telling this story, and then I went and

481
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: I finished up there. They sentthing back to the follow

482
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: up treatment, uh, you know, interviews with the social workers

483
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,959
Speaker 1: and therapists. And I said, they said, well, and they

484
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: had access to all the notes. And I said, look,

485
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: I didn't want to talk about whatever whatever happened, does

486
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 1: it storm? So I figured out there's something from Central

487
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 1: and South America down there, which happened to be in

488
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: the country of Colombia. They said, well, this doctor just

489
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 1: happens to be from Colombia and he was very familiar

490
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: with this story. And I'm like, wow. So I didn't

491
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: realize that I was being believed, you know. And and

492
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: I thought, that's very cool that you know that I

493
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: got through that by accident of telling a story that

494
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to bullshit about. Its real,

495
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: you know, And and you know me, Ian, I like

496
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: to keep it real. Yeah, I mean, you've you've done

497
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: a remarkable job of like dealing with all these demons.

498
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: I really feel because when you talk about the way

499
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: that you were at that time, and I'm guessing you

500
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: can end of act for this too farly, and like

501
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know the Gym West who

502
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: is a super violent, angry guy, like the guy I

503
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 1: see always has a smile on his face, and it

504
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: is like one of the nicest people I know. And

505
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: I have a feeling if I met Jim westron like

506
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: the early nineties, I wouldn't feel the same way. Yeah, absolutely,

507
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I mean we go. We showed some details

508
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 1: in the book about that too. It's like how Jim

509
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 1: west was before and how Jim west was now. I mean,

510
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: it's just a sort of all the whole PTSD aspect um. Yeah,

511
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: it's definitely UM shaped him and shaped many people, you know. Yeah,

512
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: I feel like this book will be a testament to

513
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: some guys that that you can fix this, especially guys

514
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: in your age range, because so many of the men

515
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 1: writing books are in their twenties, thirties, forties, they're not

516
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: sixty five. Well two things, Ian And I'm sure you know,

517
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: because you know all the large body of people writing

518
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: books and a lot of the vets, they're trying to

519
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 1: kill theself, kill somebody, or they're drunk or drugs. You know,

520
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 1: there are very few of them that just walk away

521
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: clean and and are able to just deal with it.

522
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: And I found that writing itself. When I went to

523
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: UH cognitive processing therapy it's twelve weeks, ninety minutes a week.

524
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: You have to well write about, you know, any traumatic

525
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: event in your life. And I go, okay, so I'm like,

526
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: what the hell is this? I write a little thing

527
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: and I go back. That doesn't matter where you start.

528
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: Don't have to be about combat, anybody you've killed. It

529
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be about your son, get a step on,

530
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: a nail on your kid. It could be anything. It

531
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. But like pulling the thread on a sweater, Jim,

532
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: over time, it will all come become unraveled, you know.

533
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: And about my sixth session, I actually had the nerve

534
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: and the courage to right about my son. And you

535
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: have to read these out loud, you know, and I'm like,

536
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: and I broke down right on the spot in the VM, like,

537
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: you know, this is awful. But because I was it

538
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: really writing about my son, I found that I was

539
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,959
Speaker 1: being very selfish and writing about myself. And you know what,

540
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: what my ideas, what my thoughts ought to be, and

541
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: there's no real consideration or compassion for my son. But anyway,

542
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: as I get through this, one of the things I

543
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: know about writing, whether you ever get published or not,

544
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: it's not even an issue. But when you write your

545
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: thoughts down, you can write without being judged. Nobody's piping

546
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: in going what about this? You should be this way.

547
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: You should think like that these are your thoughts, man,

548
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: and yours alone, and you can write them anyway you

549
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 1: want to write them, you know. Unfortunately I got Jack

550
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: Murphy in the beginning, and then Charlene can actually kind

551
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: of step into my shoes, which is odd, but yeah,

552
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: it's it's it's just all coming to it's a good

553
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: place now. Since since you mentioned that, like, as a writer,

554
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: when do you realize you have the skill to write

555
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 1: from someone else's perspective? I was telling Jim before we recorded.

556
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: I've become friends with Anthony Bows, who wrote for Rolling Stone,

557
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: and he also co wrote, or you could even say

558
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: ghost wrote. His name is on these books, but Slashes book,

559
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: Tommy Lee's book, Derek Jeter, and a lot of these guys,

560
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: I think it's safe to say, are not sitting by

561
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: a computer writing out a full book and it's their voice,

562
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: but it's really Anthony Bows's book. And I think that's

563
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: a special skill because as as Jack said, as Jim said,

564
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: Jack for example, is an excellent writer, but struggled with

565
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: writing from someone else's perspective. It's not something everyone could do, right.

566
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: I think it's like if you have too many some

567
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: like if you're similar in many ways. Um like for me, Um,

568
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: of course I'm not Jim West. Um my experiences as

569
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: a twenty five year old is different than his. So um,

570
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: it's just like for um co writers or if you

571
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: want to call ghost writers, it's just you have to

572
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:55,239
Speaker 1: have sort of a natural curiosity about it, you know,

573
00:31:55,760 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: and disregard your your own person own beliefs and just

574
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: you know, just let go with the flow. You know.

575
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: It's I mean, yeah, I I goes written in Colebrand

576
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: for other people in UM, I know, I can't really say.

577
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: I think it's more of a curiosity aspect, you know. Yeah.

578
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: And it's just that Jim speaks so candidly that there's

579
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: a certain there's and and when Jim speaks on the show,

580
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: you know Jim's voice. And when people read this book

581
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: and these are one Jim stories, and Jim wrote a

582
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: lot of it, but needed your help in getting this

583
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 1: whole thing finalizes. We're talking before timeline, and all these

584
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: things are very hard to piece together. Just finding the

585
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: right person who could who could help write this and

586
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: make it sound as if this is Jim. You know,

587
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: it's it's I couldn't do it, you know what I mean. Yeah, no,

588
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: absolutely know. I think there's a lot of people who

589
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: can't really do it. Um, But you know it's Jim.

590
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: Jim is so real that and he's so candid about

591
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: saying it actually makes it easy to write, you know. UM,

592
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 1: And UM, I really do appreciate that because it makes um,

593
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 1: you know, our partnership just like so easy and so natural, um,

594
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: even though we're from totally two different worlds, you know. Um.

595
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: You know my family is not from the United States, um,

596
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: and you know my family is you're originally from here. Yeah,

597
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: I was born in Massachusetts, so like like a little

598
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: close to the Boston area. So uh yeah, I mean

599
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: but yeah, like I was saying, it's just like I

600
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: tell you understand why people would say, oh, like, how

601
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: could you possibly right for another person? You know, um,

602
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: a six five year old man, um, who was who

603
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: was in the Special Forces, who accomplished all these things,

604
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: And it's just like, you know, I think what it

605
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: is is I'm always decited to hear Jim's stories really,

606
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: it's like I want to learn more. Yeah, And I

607
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: think a big aspect of it is that Jim is

608
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: so open to talking about the darkest moments of his life.

609
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: You don't have that same process of someone who wants

610
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 1: to sugarcoat everything. We were talking about Jack's book before

611
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: we started recording, for example, and and I don't want

612
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 1: to spoil Jack's book for people, but he talks about

613
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 1: some very dark moments that he has never discussed on

614
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: this podcast before, that I've never discussed with him in person. Uh,

615
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: that I didn't know about. I heard rumors about some

616
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,879
Speaker 1: of it. But the book confirms certain things. And I

617
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,479
Speaker 1: think for a lot of people they want to hide

618
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,959
Speaker 1: that away. And for you, you've become an open book.

619
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 1: So it probably makes it easier for Charlene and and

620
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 1: even for yourself to just get a book out there

621
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 1: and say this is me. I'm not gonna hide anything. Well,

622
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: you know, just like the moment that I know about

623
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: this breath control, I got this is the person that's

624
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,720
Speaker 1: gonna write my book, because who else would ask that question?

625
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,919
Speaker 1: And just you know, you have to have something else

626
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,720
Speaker 1: going on. I don't know what it is with Jack,

627
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: you know, I met him to a third party that's

628
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: an avid fan of Soft Rep. Probably knows more about

629
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: me and Jack we know about ourselves, you know, and uh,

630
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: you need to meet this guy, Jack Murphy Man. You

631
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: need to meet him, he said, okay. So a week

632
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: later we met at the village. Then and uh, he's

633
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: you know, the first thing was he's telling me about him.

634
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 1: I was telling about me, and you know, Jackson's skeptical

635
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: and I get that. And uh, he says he's been

636
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: trying to get in touch a guy named GARYL. Neil.

637
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: I said, well, I got his number right here. He goes,

638
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: what you got his number and called I called him

639
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: up right on the spot. So it gave me a

640
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 1: little credibility right then and there because he had a

641
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: huge interest in the Cold War era, you know, because

642
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: nobody talks. And then uh so I said, he wants

643
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: to help me write autobiographers. Well that's great. So a

644
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 1: week later I said, before we start, I'll bringing all

645
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: my certificates and awards and just threw them on the

646
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: table for him, and uh, he just rifle through it

647
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: at the speed of light and he stopped on the

648
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 1: desert storm. He goes, you were in seventh group. That's great,

649
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,439
Speaker 1: he was seventh group wasn't represented in desert storms that, yeah,

650
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: they weren't. I was represented him. And uh, just the

651
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 1: simple fact that at the speed of light he picked

652
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: out that one piece of paper, that one moment, you know,

653
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: you can relate because of our conversation, I go, this

654
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: is the guy you know. And and and when I

655
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: read just the beginning of Jack's book, right in the

656
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 1: opening scene, it showed me a part of Jack that

657
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: I knew as always there that we discussed a lot,

658
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: and you're in drift about the beginning of the book.

659
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: You're one of the first scenes in the book. So

660
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: that so that was pretty cool right right when we

661
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 1: started talking about writing my book and this and that,

662
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,479
Speaker 1: we got to the section arm PTSD. At the time,

663
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: Jack hadn't even consider going, you know, to the v

664
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: A or anywhere else for treatment. And as we're talking,

665
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: you combat back and look at another combat vets and eyes,

666
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: and you just know if he was a cook, or

667
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 1: if he was in a close close quarters combat killing

668
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 1: people or someone trying to kill you, it's just you know,

669
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 1: you just you either are you're not. And I think

670
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: that the group of us have all been there. We

671
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: just know, even if it's a stranger sitting at the bar.

672
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: But anyway, we were sitting at Chapoltis and I'm going Jack,

673
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: and I said, you're as funked up as I am,

674
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:29,399
Speaker 1: because what I said, you got PTSD. You just don't

675
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: even know it, you know, and blah blah blah. And anyway,

676
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: that and and and that's where the book begins. For

677
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: the you know, pick it up, I'm saying for those

678
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 1: who don't know, But the book isn't even out yet,

679
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: but we're lucky enough to get the advanced copies. But

680
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: get the book. But what what comes right after that?

681
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: The depth and drive of Jack Murphy exposes itself to

682
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: me immediately in the book. It just sucks you right in,

683
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: like like a current, you know, of water, just pulls

684
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: you under. It just starts out that way, and uh,

685
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: it just gets better. Yeah. Well, so back to your book,

686
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: which once again his messages from me from Beyond. It's

687
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: up on Amazon right now, paperback, Kindle. What do you

688
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: want people to get out of this book? I know

689
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: you have a series of books, as you've explained, but

690
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: this book in particular, what are you hoping that people

691
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: get out of this. Wow, that's that's a tough question.

692
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, the reason I wrote this book

693
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: has got duality. One is to put my story out

694
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: just for self healing, you know, being able to talk

695
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,839
Speaker 1: about it so so that people when they you know,

696
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: everyone feels like they're being judged if you have PTSD.

697
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: I mean, we all have a common bond. Somebody's looking

698
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: all our back. We feel guilty. Was a shame. Everyone

699
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: in the world is judging us. And you know, it

700
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: was a step for me to say, hey, it's okay

701
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: to judgment, but you know, before you do, walk them

702
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 1: mile in my shoes. And then as I can started

703
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: writing this and more talked to Charlene more. We got

704
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: into it and just exchanging, I thought about messages from beyond.

705
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: I started finding ways to thread this exposure to my

706
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: life from messages, dreams, flashbacks, nightmares to where they kind

707
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: of actually are all into related. And then I started

708
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: thinking of the bigger picture of guys of PTSD and

709
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: victims of you know, assaults and stuff. Uh. And I

710
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: started thinking, you know this, everybody has these thoughts and curiosities.

711
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: It's I may mention God in the book here and

712
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 1: there but it really it's your God. And and it's

713
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: a belief self, belief in yourself, you know. So it's

714
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: one thing to believe, you know, to believe in uh.

715
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: And and you know, supreme being, heaven and hell and

716
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: all that. And I'll tell you straight up front, it's

717
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: in the book. When I died, I didn't see bright lights,

718
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 1: so I didn't see that heavenly outcome immediately. So and

719
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: I know we all have our own experiences and to

720
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: each person, I think the messages whatever your experienced, whatever

721
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 1: your religion, whatever your upbringing, whatever your age. You know, listen,

722
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 1: when you're going down the street and you lost a

723
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: good friend or a kid, or a mom or dad,

724
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: or brother or sister, you hear music that used to

725
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: be their favorite song, you start crying or thinking thoughts.

726
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 1: You're look in the skies, you see formations, and you know,

727
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,919
Speaker 1: some people like me, I can see superimposed images all

728
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: the time, which is a whole another deal. But I know,

729
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: guy's a traumatic brain injury. They do this as well. Uh.

730
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: It's the thought that comes immediately after that, you know,

731
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 1: and and the message that that's out there. We don't

732
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 1: look for messages. We just write things off as I

733
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: was a nightmare, it was a dream. I don't know

734
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: what the that was, you know, and kind of discarded.

735
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,439
Speaker 1: But I think if you had a really weird ass

736
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 1: dream in the middle of the night and you just

737
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: woke up and you had no relationship to that dream,

738
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: just write it down. There's a message there. I mean,

739
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: you can go after you know, dream interpreters and all that.

740
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: I do. I do that sometimes too. Do you ever

741
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: google like what does this dream mean? And then I'm just, oh, yeah,

742
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: I have I have to. But now I'm I'm really

743
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: looking into it ever since. Uh, I've been discussing it

744
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: with Jim. Like before, like Jim was saying, uh, it's

745
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 1: like just totally like discarded, disregarded, and yeah, but now

746
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: I'm really taking it into consideration. It's like, what does

747
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: his dream mean? But sometimes I have really shrink dreams that,

748
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I'm in I'm in the same boat.

749
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,879
Speaker 1: So so we kind of explain that. Yeah, it does

750
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: seem important to write that that down and and maybe

751
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: connected all together. Well, I'm sixty five and I've been

752
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: having some of these thoughts since I was a kid. Yeah,

753
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: you know, I mean I started having dreams and Uh,

754
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: the early eighties when I was deployed and worn out

755
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: down in Central and South America, just dropped dead, tired,

756
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: and I passed out one night, and I started dreaming

757
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: about a field of dead bodies. And then when you

758
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: go to the Highway of Death where I was, had

759
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 1: me a chance to look back at that dream and

760
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: started trying to put things together in my head. So

761
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: there are a lot of interconnected activities and dreams and

762
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: thoughts that you may have had when you were a

763
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 1: kid that that repeat itself. Now that trust me, it's

764
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: not all bad. It's not all doom and gloom. It's

765
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,720
Speaker 1: either to me a positive message or an early warning.

766
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: And any early warning to me is a positive message,

767
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: you know. So that makes sense. Uh. You know, we

768
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: got an email recently from a listener who said that

769
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 1: the show talks no it's good. I mean that the

770
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: show talks about all different types of things, war stories,

771
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: and we do talk about PTSD. When he was like,

772
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 1: sometimes I wish you guys would get more into spirituality.

773
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: And this seems like a book for that person who

774
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: wants to learn about the the aspect of what you

775
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: guys have done that could tie into spirituality. And afterlife

776
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: and belief in God and all of that. Yeah, absolutely that. Yeah,

777
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: there there is um that spiritual spect in it. So

778
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: those who are interested, who want to learn more about

779
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: that spiritual aspect, totally check out this book. Um. I

780
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 1: mean it's not only the spiritual aspect. I think that's

781
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 1: important for many people, but it's also, uh, the belief

782
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: in yourself, like the physical and mental aspect of it.

783
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:23,800
Speaker 1: So this book encompasses all these things. Yeah, I'm excited

784
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: for people to pick it up. Yeah, I mean, and

785
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 1: I was very cautious. Uh, I mean my initial thought

786
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: was alcohol. It messages from God. But you know, everybody

787
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 1: doesn't believe in the same God that I do. You know, Uh,

788
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: we don't all worship the same way. Some people are

789
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: agnostic or atheists. You know. This book doesn't address in

790
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 1: those terms at all. Uh. It just lets you know

791
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: that whatever you're thinking, whatever you're feeling, is real, and

792
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: that you can draw from those feelings and in a

793
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 1: way that can you know, maybe save your life or

794
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: drive you or inspire you to a different career. Turn

795
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: left instead of turning right and avoid a you know,

796
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: a flood or a night or a mugging somewhere. It's

797
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 1: just that all these things are swimming around in our

798
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: head all the time. The second we stopped being busy,

799
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: it just re enters at different times, different levels, different thoughts,

800
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,760
Speaker 1: and I mean, ourself talk is insane each and every person.

801
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: But I think that messages from beyond my story. Because

802
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 1: fortunately I've lived so long, I've had a chance while

803
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 1: writing this book to take a look back and say,

804
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: how is all of this stuff interconnected? And I think

805
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: we did it reasonable. We made a reasonable effort explaining

806
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: the connectivity of you know, life and dreams and nightmares

807
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: and even death. You know, I can tell you candidly

808
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,359
Speaker 1: the act of dying is not a scary thing. In fact,

809
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 1: it's the most pleasant thing you'll ever do. Not to

810
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 1: encourage you to die, because to me, it's like a

811
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: waiting room, like purgatory. There is something beyond that, and uh,

812
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: it should all be considered. I want to wrap up

813
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: with a few things, but before we do, as always,

814
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: I like to let you know what we have going

815
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: on here at Hurricane Media and Hurricane Group. Be sure

816
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 1: to check out Create Club. It's a club four men

817
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,640
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818
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819
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Speaker 1: for those looking for the Holy Grail of gear subscriptions,

820
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Speaker 1: our premium Create. These are all available at Create club

821
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824
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825
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826
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 1: Coupon code software for off any gearbox sign up today. Also,

827
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: as a reminder for those listening, now is the time

828
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: to sign up for the spec Ops Channel. That's our

829
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: channel that offers the most exclusive shows, documentaries and interviews

830
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: covering the most exciting military content today. The spec Ops

831
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: channel premier show Training Cell follows former Special Operations Forces

832
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: as they participate in the most advanced training of the country,

833
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 1: everything from shooting schools, defensive driving, jungle and winter warfare, flyming,

834
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: and much more. Again, you can watch this content by

835
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 1: subscribing to the spec Ops channel that's at spec ops

836
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: channel dot com and take advantage of a membership for

837
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: only four ninety nine a month. That's spec Ops Channel

838
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 1: dot com. Sign up today. Last, if you're not already subscribed, uh,

839
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 1: sign up to the news Rep dot com. You've got

840
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 1: to get on board expert reporting and actual intelligence. Were

841
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,760
Speaker 1: favorite writers you've heard on here, Jack Murphy, Alex Hollings

842
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 1: and the many guest writers who pop up as well.

843
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,439
Speaker 1: And I should mention Jack is in Italy. I didn't

844
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 1: even mention that is he's away for this week, so

845
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: that's why this week you've got shows in me. He

846
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 1: will be back, of course for the launch of his book.

847
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 1: But unlimited access to News Rep on any device, unlimited

848
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,879
Speaker 1: access to the app, joined the war room community, invitations

849
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 1: to our exclusive events, and it's all add free for members.

850
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: We have a trial up right now where we can

851
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: get four weeks for only one ninety nine. Sign up

852
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: at the news rep dot com. That's the news Rep

853
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 1: dot com. And by the way, for those not in

854
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: the know, we have our own softwarep radio app you

855
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: can download for free on iPhone or Android, and our

856
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: homepage is at soft rep ratio dot com where you

857
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: can see our full archive of shows. As always, keep

858
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: up with us at soft rep Radio as well. By

859
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: the way, it's I'm glad Jim is like able to

860
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: speak a lot this episode because I feel like my

861
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: my voice is not totally there right now getting over

862
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: this call. But I'm feeling a lot better than I

863
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: was these past few days, getting some rests. I've always

864
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: told you, and he's got the best book voice in

865
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: the business, Thank you, and I appreciate it. But but

866
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: I think Jack's gonna be on Fox and Friends on April.

867
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 1: I have heard that the book comes out in a week,

868
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: So he's doing Fox and Friends. He's gonna be doing

869
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: the whole media circuit circuit. I'm sure doing well. Couse show.

870
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: You gotta do well Coouse show. Yeah, it's give me

871
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 1: a buzz. I'll hit him right right after the show

872
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: and get you over there. Yeah. And also his audience

873
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: loves you so and I love them. Yeah great, Yeah,

874
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: I mean my best my best thing I do all

875
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 1: year is our Veterans because Andrews there. It's just the

876
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 1: best time, best people. So I wanted to cover this

877
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: article that was actually said to me by a listener

878
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: um to our Facebook page. I don't know if you

879
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: guys are familiar at all with Creatum, which people are

880
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: saying helps ptsd Uh. It's sold like a just gas stations.

881
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: It's almost like CBD oil, but it's and it's not

882
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: just something that that helps PTSD from what they're saying,

883
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 1: you know, any type of pain. A lot of people

884
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 1: getting off heroin and opioids in general are using Creatum.

885
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: So we had this veteran Air Force veteran, Peter Gadrion,

886
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: who spoke really highly of it. And I saw this

887
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 1: documentary which is how I booked Peter, called The Leaf

888
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 1: of Faith about kind of the scare of the media

889
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: over it um. And someone sent this to me and

890
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: they were like, oh, I want to hear your feelings

891
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 1: on it. And to me, it draws more into and

892
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: I've never tried creative, so I'm not an advocate one

893
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 1: way or the other. I mean, I try to if

894
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: if it's helping people through p through PTSD or it's

895
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: helping people get off heroin, I'm all for it. I mean, uh,

896
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 1: but but to me, this article ties into the whole

897
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 1: fake news media thing because you look at the title

898
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 1: and then you read the article and it's two completely

899
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,919
Speaker 1: different things. So the article says this is from NBC News,

900
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: this is this is the headline. Her herbal supplement Creatum

901
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 1: is tied to more US debts, and it says US

902
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,240
Speaker 1: health officials say overdose deaths involving the herbal supplement creatum

903
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: have caused states. So that's pretty alarming. Then I read

904
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: the article and here's the thing, so third paragraph in

905
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 1: most who died had also taken heroin, fentinel, and other drugs,

906
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: but creative was the only ups IS detected in seven

907
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 1: of the deaths, So it wasn't it was the other substance. Yeah,

908
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how you could come up

909
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: with that headline when only seven of the people were

910
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: just on creative. I mean, seven deaths is not alarming.

911
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: The very least people die from like multi vitamins absolutely so,

912
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: like an overdose of vitamin C. So I mean, I

913
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: would think if of these ninety one deaths, almost all

914
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: of them heroin, fentinal and other drugs are found in

915
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 1: the system, that's why these people died. We all know

916
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: that heroin is a massive epidemic in the country, and

917
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: I mean it kind of ties into a Peter said

918
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 1: on the podcast, I think it's these pharmaceutical companies that

919
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: that don't want to see something that's an alternative to

920
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 1: these drugs that are causing as you said, twenty two

921
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 1: suicides a day, uh, suicidal thoughts in people, not just veterans,

922
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: anyone with post traumatic stress issues. And and I mean

923
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: they're trying to I think the government can't profit off

924
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: creatum right now, so they're trying to demonize this. And

925
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: like I said, I've never tried creative. I have an

926
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: open mind to hearing the the good and the bad.

927
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,879
Speaker 1: But when you have a headline like this that it's

928
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 1: tied ninety one deaths, and then I read the actual

929
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: article and these people are in heroin, yeah, yeah, to me,

930
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: most creative other stuff that the biggest value is honestly

931
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: relax you know, causing you to relax, sleep a little deeper,

932
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,959
Speaker 1: and in some cases that deep sleep, and we'll bring

933
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: out some really wicked nightmares. So you know, I wouldn't

934
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: say don't try it or do try it, but I say,

935
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: if you do and you have a deep, really deep

936
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: dream experience, you may want to not do that. Because

937
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: one of the things about me, and I'm sure all

938
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: the other guys have spent time on a rifle range

939
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 1: of combat, my my number one goal in life is

940
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: just experienced peace, you know. And one thing I'll never

941
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: be able to do is sitting in a room, just

942
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 1: a black, quiet room, total silence, and experienced peace because

943
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,439
Speaker 1: you know, the tonight is the ringing ears. We've always

944
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 1: got to have background noise and stuff. So I know

945
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: that with you. So I've I've talked about on the

946
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: podcast before. She's never heard this story, but uh, I was.

947
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 1: So we were at I'm like, I'm sleeping with Jim.

948
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: This is gonna sounding funny. No, we were. We were

949
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 1: in Vegas shot show and we were sleeping in the

950
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: same room because the company had this airbnb and you know,

951
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,959
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of guys all in this one house.

952
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: So I'm sharing a room with Jim. I'm sleeping on

953
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: the couch because of course I'm not going to tell

954
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: Jim not to take the bed. And and I'm waking up.

955
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:46,280
Speaker 1: So we're on Vegas time, you know, three hours uh

956
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: ahead or behind. I'm so you know, if if six

957
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 1: am in New York, it's three am in Vegas, basically,

958
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: so he has to sleep with Fox News on it

959
00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: like just about full blast, and it's three am, and

960
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 1: I'm waking up to them on Fox and Friends be

961
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: like good morning and and I'm like, what time is it.

962
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: It's three am? And at that point it was like,

963
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to sleep like this. I

964
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 1: ended up sleeping in a closet. It was a very plot,

965
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: it was, but yeah, it was it was like the

966
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 1: size of the studio. But but I couldn't sleep with

967
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: this TV on it all the times and that's apparently

968
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: had gim mikes to sleep. And then I wake up

969
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: all the time and I'm working, you know, doing my

970
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: bands and working out all the time. And what's that

971
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: part worked out well? For? Yeah, that was fun. I

972
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: mean it was. It was shreduous, but yeah, but I

973
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: don't I don't really sleep sleep ever, you know, which

974
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: is sad. I was recently offered by my neurologist medical marijuana,

975
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 1: but because of my job, I'm still governed by a

976
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: federal standards, so you know, they're trying to figure out

977
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: if that's something I could do or not. You know what,

978
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: I've become a big advocate of I've talked about it

979
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 1: on the show a few times. Have you ever heard

980
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,439
Speaker 1: of the supplement em A, I've heard of it. Yeah,

981
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: So all it is is it's zin zinc, magnesium and

982
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: b six, and you take it before you go to

983
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: sleep because I think it's the magnesium that causes you

984
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: to feel drowsy. Um, So, so you're don't take it

985
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: during the day. It's not a sleep supplement, that's all

986
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: it is is zinc magnesium B six. So it doesn't

987
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: like put you right to sleep, but when you fall asleep,

988
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 1: you were in an extremely deep state of sleep. I

989
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: take it every night now, and uh, I'll tell you this.

990
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 1: I didn't have vivid dreams really until I started taking

991
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 1: z M A. That makes good sense. You um, you

992
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 1: know when you're get in that deep rem sleep. And

993
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,360
Speaker 1: actually when you read the book we talk a little

994
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: bit about dreaming, I guess, but it becomes such a

995
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 1: like spokesperson form is to put out. I think the

996
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: magnesium is also good for the heart and have circulation

997
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 1: a little bit. So it just it helps a lot

998
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 1: of things. It helps work out recovery. Um it's it's

999
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,760
Speaker 1: also like a testosterone boosting supplement because of the zinc,

1000
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 1: you know, so it helps your workouts all that, I

1001
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: I swear, but I'm not a big supplement guy. Well

1002
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 1: I take him independently of each other, like separate capsule.

1003
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: But now may just look for the c m A

1004
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: because it's just one bill. Yeah, if you, if you

1005
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 1: look it up. So this guy, Victor Conti um created

1006
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 1: this the formula for z m A. And if you,

1007
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: if you basically sell z m A. Now any company

1008
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: they have to pay Victor Conti because he came up

1009
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: with the formula of a certain amount of his inc

1010
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: a certain amount of magnesium and B six. I don't

1011
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 1: know why, but like in this particular formula, it works.

1012
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, oh, it's we'll see

1013
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 1: you bow and all that, but I can tell you

1014
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: straight up. I mean I know from the dreams that

1015
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,959
Speaker 1: it's doing something. So yeah, well that's what I said.

1016
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 1: When you get in that deep sleep and if you

1017
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: have the like when when when I tried, they tried

1018
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: to put me on some medication from the v A,

1019
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,839
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I went home about a couple

1020
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: of pills. Hey, this guy get killed right next to me,

1021
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: and he's laying on the ground. I'm right next to

1022
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,400
Speaker 1: him on the ground, and I woke up in his

1023
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: dream and he's right there, and this dream suddenly had

1024
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: colorful of life three D and the guy was staring

1025
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: me down again, you know, after you've been killed, and

1026
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, holy sh it, I I can't have these

1027
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 1: kind of dreams, you know, so I had to change

1028
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 1: that has stopped doing that altogether. Got you. I don't

1029
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 1: even want to sleep that deep, to be honest, I

1030
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: won't wake up. Yeah. I don't know it helps for me.

1031
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: I but I get where you're coming from. I also

1032
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 1: haven't experienced what you have. But pick up the book

1033
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: Messages from Beyond. It's up on Amazon right now and

1034
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: Kindle in paperback. And then also Charlene's website which I

1035
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: had under here. Yeah, Charlene Charley's website is Charlene da

1036
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 1: Silva at Charlene de Silva dot com and Charlene at

1037
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 1: Charlene da Silva dot com. I want to email you

1038
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,400
Speaker 1: which is spelled c h A R l E N

1039
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: E d A s I l v A obviously, um,

1040
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 1: and and write a review for the book. Jim is

1041
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 1: telling me the listeners write a review for the book,

1042
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 1: pick it up the right review. Um. So once again

1043
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 1: the website trolling to Silva dot com and what what

1044
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: we're saying? Uh yeah, so, um, feel free to visit

1045
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 1: my website or feel free to email me. UM if

1046
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 1: anyone any of the listeners have any questions, UM, any

1047
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 1: further questions, I would love to answer, or you don't

1048
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 1: feel free to reach out. There's quite a few listeners

1049
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: in the audience who are like veterans who want to

1050
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: write a book and they want to take that step.

1051
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 1: So you might be a good person for them. Yeah, absolutely,

1052
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 1: you know, UM, I love I would love to hear

1053
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: um their stories. Like especially after working with Jim, it

1054
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 1: opened me to entirely new world that UM, I find

1055
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:45,439
Speaker 1: quite amazing, you know. Um. Of course, UM, A lot

1056
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 1: of military vets State deal with all sorts of traumatic

1057
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: and terrible things, and you know, I think a lot

1058
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: for a lot of military vets, I mean, even start writing.

1059
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 1: You know, some people would find a cathartic or so

1060
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 1: people find it as a coping, you know, way to

1061
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 1: cope with certain things. So yeah, absolutely, I would love

1062
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 1: to hear everyone's stories, so I can. I can tell

1063
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 1: you she's a got a tremendous amount of patience and uh,

1064
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: she's good to work with, you know, because when you

1065
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: write from another person's perspective, it's not like I send

1066
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 1: her something over and she dresses it up and makes

1067
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 1: it look pretty for the book, and it says, Jim,

1068
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: this is what I like and I look at and

1069
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: go like this, but I don't like that. That's not me. Okay,

1070
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: I'll redo it. I mean she takes the time to

1071
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 1: really put herself into your shoes. Awesome. So yes, send

1072
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 1: her an email Charlene at Charlene DeSilva dot com or

1073
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: Charlene DeSilva dot com. I'll link to that in the description. Um,

1074
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: and I think that covers just about everything. Pick it

1075
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 1: up messages from beyond. Always great having you man. I

1076
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: always love seeing you and I don't see you enough.

1077
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: That's true. We need to hang out more. Yeah, we

1078
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 1: off all right, Well, thanks to the listeners. We'll be

1079
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 1: back with another episode on Friday, and it's just me

1080
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: hosting this week. Jack will be back. But I'm not

1081
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 1: being lazy. I'm not just making best ups this week.

1082
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:14,440
Speaker 1: I'm getting it done. So if you want me back

1083
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 1: and talk about fights or something I'm not I'll let

1084
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:25,440
Speaker 1: you know. J Okay, use them. Listening to self red Radio.

1085
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 1: New episodes up every Wednesday and Friday. Follow the show

1086
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 1: on Instagram and Twitter at self red Radio.