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Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh guys, Hi, Hi, you're good. I am not, but

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Speaker 2: I am I the mend.

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Speaker 3: Are you on the meds as well? What have you done? Kramer?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I texted Catherine, I texted you yesterday and

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Speaker 2: I said something like, welp, welp.

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Speaker 1: I love a good just FYI starting with a good

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Speaker 1: Welp is my favorite thing ever.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't tell you what happened because I thought

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Speaker 2: it would be a good topic to just bring to

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Speaker 2: the couch. Okay, right, all right, So obviously y'all have

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Speaker 2: heard my my voice the last.

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Speaker 4: Couple of weeks phone sex operator.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Jane, and I'm like, I will not go to

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Speaker 3: the doctor. I will not get on an antibiotic.

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Speaker 4: I'll drink this orange juice and my hope and Jesus

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Speaker 4: will solve all of this.

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Speaker 1: This was last week, seven days later, so fourteen days

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Speaker 1: later from when it started.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it started wow?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so fourteen literally that would be it would be

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Speaker 2: fourteen days today. Yeah, So but it was fifteen days

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Speaker 2: ago was when I started the symptoms. Want to go

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Speaker 2: get the IVY because I was so speak on to

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Speaker 2: San France in La So I'm one of those where

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna ride it out because I don't want

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Speaker 2: the antibiotics and there's just so much going on.

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Speaker 3: I'm leaving you, guys, I booked a movie away.

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Speaker 2: Tell us, uh, so I leave tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: Wait what, I don't see? We need a different system.

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Speaker 4: Haven't you learned the kind of creature and friend I am.

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Speaker 4: The sudden abandonment does not go well in a nervous system.

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Speaker 2: I got this call a couple of weeks ago, actually

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Speaker 2: passed originally on the movie.

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Speaker 3: Okay. Why you know I'm in a season where.

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Speaker 4: A Christmas season too soon is that I get sung

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Speaker 4: by the chimney with care go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Where I'm just I'm trying to value my worth a

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Speaker 2: bit more. I'm not saying I'm better than a Christmas

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Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying at all. And I don't

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Speaker 2: even want to get into the whole long spiel of it.

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Speaker 2: But you do have dreams I do?

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Speaker 4: And inspirations, yeah, aspirations eiration.

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Speaker 3: We should talk for a living. Do you think it's

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Speaker 3: worth noting you're so uneducated?

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Speaker 4: Apparently I can't, So we'll just move right past that

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Speaker 4: one boot but I do feel like you just you

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Speaker 4: just do have.

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Speaker 3: Other dreach the things you want to do.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, there's no reverse bo I'd like to boot back.

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Speaker 3: My boot back is.

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Speaker 2: I am actually good uneducated. I'm privileged and uneducated boy.

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Speaker 4: And there is the clickbait for the next but that's

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Speaker 4: what I've been told.

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Speaker 2: It is a privilege to protect my piece. So I

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Speaker 2: guess I am privileged to protect my piece totally.

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Speaker 3: And I'm on.

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Speaker 2: Educated an uneducated, but I'm willing to be educated when

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Speaker 2: yes the education percent yes, so.

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Speaker 3: Boot boot back. So we're moving forward. Three boops.

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Speaker 4: And you have other things that you would like to

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Speaker 4: do in your life besides in addition to Christmas movies,

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Speaker 4: and I think that it is okay, thank you, but

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Speaker 4: I also love a Christmas movie.

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Speaker 3: We'll take a Christmas I'd like to.

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Speaker 2: I also need to support my family, of course, and

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Speaker 2: I love to work.

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Speaker 3: I think working begets work. Yep, yep.

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Speaker 2: I also have an opportunity with this movie. They sweeten

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Speaker 2: the deal a little bit, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: say what it is yet. Oh, but I might have

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Speaker 2: an opportunity to do something that I've been wanting to

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Speaker 2: do for That's that I've been not I want to say,

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Speaker 2: for a while, but it's something that I've it's been

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Speaker 2: brewing in my soul a bit to do. So with

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Speaker 2: this opportunity comes the next possible opportunity, and so I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, let's go, let's do it. And so

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Speaker 2: Kat's coming sorry boop, all right?

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Speaker 3: Can we start in the beginning? And in defense, I'm

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Speaker 3: pretty sure tomorrow so it's not just Jamna everyone.

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Speaker 4: Hey, guys, I hope you'll turn in next week to

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Speaker 4: this episode of Wine Down where it's just me alone

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Speaker 4: on a couch and they abandoned friends j Seline dion

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Speaker 4: Ah bye my.

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Speaker 1: In all defense, this guy went back and forth a

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Speaker 1: lot and it was decided I mean less than a

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Speaker 1: week ago.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I ended.

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Speaker 4: It came back around where are you guys going?

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Speaker 2: Well, this hurts my Michigan heart Cleveland, Ohio? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I got nothing where I'm going.

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Speaker 3: What I'm doing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was like, Cat, can you come with

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Speaker 2: me for a couple of days? And so she's coming

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Speaker 2: with me for a couple of days. Okay, So this

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Speaker 2: is very that part is very exciting for you. I've

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Speaker 2: already packed yes, yes to get already packed the Rummy Cube.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I don't forget them cube really oh I grew up.

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Speaker 4: Oh my grandma used to We used to gamble Nickels

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Speaker 4: and Rummy Cube. We should do that together. We should also,

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Speaker 4: it was so fun. How did how do we not

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Speaker 4: know this?

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Speaker 3: I don't talk about it. I just don't see you

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Speaker 3: as ever playing games really? Yeah? Well I just don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because I don't play because you don't want to play this. Well, no,

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Speaker 3: I just don't play with you, off with you. I

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Speaker 3: don't play uker so I'm not in the game night.

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Speaker 1: Well, we used to do game nights that were not

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Speaker 1: ker yeah, and then those just went away.

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Speaker 4: But you've seen me at catchphrase like I love a game.

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Speaker 4: That's true, I have a game. I'm just not as

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Speaker 4: good at card games as you guys. But Rummy Cube

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Speaker 4: anywaybe Yeah, we have wasted minutes of people's lives. But

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Speaker 4: you are going to do a movie in Ohio without

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Speaker 4: me and play Rummy Cube.

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Speaker 3: Cub Yeah yep, just so all cut up? Yep, okay,

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Speaker 3: cap that is the catch up.

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Speaker 2: So I have had let's see, I'm like at the

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Speaker 2: script on Friday. So Friday Saturday Sunday, Monday, Today's tuesdays.

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Speaker 2: So I've had five days to learn the script. So

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Speaker 2: I've got my script all print it out. It's been

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Speaker 2: attached to my hip the last few days. I do

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Speaker 2: not know how you do that. But the problem is

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Speaker 2: the problem was is I continue to not feel well.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I forgot really started.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Roman has not has also got a fee. Well,

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Speaker 2: I think he's got a different There's like three million

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Speaker 2: different things going wrong. There's the flu, there's this really

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Speaker 2: bad cold, there's something else.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what he has.

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Speaker 4: But and the belly bug is still alive. And well

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Speaker 4: that's great, yep, not for us, great yuck.

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Speaker 2: So that's all been happening, and so I know that

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Speaker 2: we're leaving tomorrow for Cleveland. I still cannot hear out

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Speaker 2: of my left ear. No stuff's coming out of my nose,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm like, okay, but I don't have a fever.

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Speaker 2: So in my mind, I'm like, Jane, just just keep riding, ride, ride, ride.

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Speaker 2: But I'm like, all right, if I'm leaving wednesday, I

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Speaker 2: gotta be smart about this. Something must be going on

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Speaker 2: because I can't hear it and it hurts right like

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Speaker 2: it it's and you're headed into yeah.

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Speaker 3: Whether yeah, airplanes, airplanes. That does not feel good working.

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Speaker 2: All day, you know, fourteen hour days. So I go

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Speaker 2: to the doctor's walk this walking clinic, and I, you know,

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Speaker 2: all the nurse, the whole thing, and I said, well,

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Speaker 2: you know, I feel really silly actually being here because

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Speaker 2: you know, it's been two weeks and I'm actually on

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Speaker 2: the men like I'm not blowing my nose is that much?

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Speaker 2: And then the sweet, sweet older doctor man came in

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Speaker 2: and I then tell the story to him, Well, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's been two weeks and I haven't, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not blown my nose that much. I was like,

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Speaker 2: but my ear really does hurt, so but I'm sure

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Speaker 2: it's nothing, but I just want to make sure that

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Speaker 2: it is it isn't something. And I mean I just

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Speaker 2: word vomit like all over him, the symptoms, the things.

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Speaker 3: But I'm sure it's fine.

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Speaker 2: He looks in my ear and he goes, honey, he goes,

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen an ear infection that bad in a.

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Speaker 3: Really long time. Oh, I can still get ear infection.

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Speaker 2: We can.

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Speaker 3: Apparently I didn't know at our age. And so when

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Speaker 3: things go and there's all maybe that's why I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so he's like, you need an antibiotic. And

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Speaker 2: then he goes, and I want to talk to you

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Speaker 2: some I want to talk to you about something off

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Speaker 2: the chart. And then I just, you know, when you

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Speaker 2: start to feel like a little swelling up of maybe

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Speaker 2: possible emotions. And he's just like, I was reading your chart,

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Speaker 2: and I was reading your anxiety PTSD stuff on your chart.

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Speaker 2: He goes, have you ever read the book The Body

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Speaker 2: Keeps a Score? Yes, I've heard of it. Such an

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Speaker 2: amazing book. It's so good, and I've read it before

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Speaker 2: because I throw anxiety stuff and all the things. But

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Speaker 2: I instantly he's like saying this, but I just like

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Speaker 2: instantly start crying because I'm overwhelmed too, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. I'm like, I haven't been feeling good for

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Speaker 2: the last fourteen days. I've got a movie that I

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Speaker 2: don't even know. And then I'm you know, trying to learn,

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Speaker 2: trying to manage the kids, all the things, and he's

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Speaker 2: just like, I really just think He's like, he just

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Speaker 2: wrote another book called and I wrote. I actually ordered

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Speaker 2: it and it's downstairs. It came overnight, so I can

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Speaker 2: bring it to Cleveland, but it words to building a

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Speaker 2: non anxious life. Sweet doctor was like, I really, he's like,

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Speaker 2: on top of the antibiotics, I'm going to prescribe you

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Speaker 2: that Amazon book.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm sorry for the tears.

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Speaker 4: I'm just really stressed out right now.

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Speaker 3: And then my ear really does hurt. So thank you

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Speaker 3: for validating my feeling my ear. But what an incredible

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Speaker 3: doctor to be sweet.

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Speaker 4: I feel like so often you're more likely than not

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Speaker 4: going to get a doctor that is just going to

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Speaker 4: take care of what is medical, not the whole person.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really special.

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Speaker 2: And that's what made me like start to cry because

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Speaker 2: I'm like I needed obviously he could sense. He goes,

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Speaker 2: you just seem like you're a little You didn't say

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Speaker 2: high strong, but he could tell that. I was like stressed,

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't say high strong, holding yeah, our husband's seat, ye,

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Speaker 2: holding this anxious stuff and then reading He goes, you know,

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Speaker 2: I think this would be really helpful for you. I

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Speaker 2: just thought it was the sweetest thing ever. This man

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Speaker 2: is so sweet, I know, so I just saw positivity

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Speaker 2: to me. I know, the sweet man doctor at the

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Speaker 2: Vanderbilt on the queue and walk in shout out to you.

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Speaker 2: What a sweet man I ordered it saw that's I'm

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Speaker 2: reading on the Planet I Love while learning my lines.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, you've got a lot to read and taking

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Speaker 4: your moxas already.

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Speaker 2: So but here's I started thinking about this though, is

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Speaker 2: and I really don't think it's just me. I think

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Speaker 2: moms do this too, because I'm I was, you know,

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Speaker 2: Roman's been sick, okay a couple days, all right, he's

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Speaker 2: got to go to the doctor's. He either probably is

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Speaker 2: a strap or maybe he is an ear infection too

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Speaker 2: or something. But it's like I did the same thing

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Speaker 2: two years ago when I waited too long and I

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Speaker 2: had a terrible case of strap, which is so bad

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Speaker 2: to wait that long.

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Speaker 3: You do ever think it's strap? Do not wait?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was just like, oh, it's just my

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Speaker 2: thaar out like it's but I'm like, we don't take

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Speaker 2: care of ourselves. We should be the first ones to

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Speaker 2: take care of like we should be number one, but

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Speaker 2: we're not doing that. And that was another I think

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Speaker 2: what made me upset too, is I'm like I would

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Speaker 2: have been flying to Cleveland with this terrible ear infection

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Speaker 2: just because I'm not taking care of myself, like we

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Speaker 2: got to take care of ourselves. So reminder of the moms,

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Speaker 2: don't let things wait and take care of yourself.

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Speaker 1: Well, and I think a lot of it you're you

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Speaker 1: want it to be. You don't want to feel silly.

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Speaker 3: I'm so that.

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Speaker 2: Way because if I walked in there and I walked

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Speaker 2: out without something, I'd been like, well, i just wasted

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Speaker 2: an hour of this and now I'm going to feel silly.

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Speaker 2: Big I didn't have anything right, but like my knee,

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Speaker 2: when I didn't have when it wasn't actually a torn something,

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Speaker 2: I felt so silly, like yeah there was a little

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Speaker 2: stuff that he could scope, but he's like it's fine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like it's just you just But would

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Speaker 3: we feel that way for our kids?

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Speaker 1: No, you know, like if we went I mean, how

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Speaker 1: many times do we take our kids and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's not strep or flu or whatever. We're like just

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Speaker 1: you know, like at least we made sure, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: like wild do we do that?

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Speaker 2: And then we beat ourselves up that we wasted time

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Speaker 2: and this, that and the other.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, you're so right, and so yes, no need to

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Speaker 1: feel silly. It's better to hear that it's nothing and

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Speaker 1: they needn't have a book.

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Speaker 4: I know exactly, Yeah, but it was something this time

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Speaker 4: was yeah, and now you know, and you get a

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Speaker 4: book and a moxicillia.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say it was bronk.

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Speaker 1: Aren't you really prone to getting bronchitis?

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Speaker 3: I used to be. You used to get it a

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Speaker 3: lot when you guys think. So I was worried about that.

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Speaker 1: I almost said that last week when You're like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not getting an antibiotic and I was like.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, we're going to what is usually it does

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Speaker 3: go to my does go to your chest? Yeah? Well

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Speaker 3: I'm glad you're better. We're on the mend wind down,

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Speaker 3: So glad. So that's that. So going to Cleveland working.

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Speaker 3: But other updates anything? Love?

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Speaker 4: What got taken out of her big fat cast?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, sweet girl?

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Speaker 4: And she's in her below the elbow?

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Speaker 3: How there she do at the cheer comp on the

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Speaker 3: on the side. Great?

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Speaker 4: I could get emotional talking about this, Yeah I did.

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Speaker 3: Could you tell it was understand? Yeah, I'm going to detach.

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Speaker 4: I can just report it like the news, I think,

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Speaker 4: because it was incredible. Of course we're going to go

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Speaker 4: to cheercomp, you know, Preston was like, I think we

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Speaker 4: should go the other half of our duo win on

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Speaker 4: a cruise, and he's like, I think we should cancel

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Speaker 4: cheercomp and you guys should go we should go on

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Speaker 4: the cruise instead.

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Speaker 3: And I was like that no, and So.

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Speaker 1: Said, yeah, they don't. I mean, I think everyone doesn't

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Speaker 1: understand that world though. I think any anybody would say well,

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Speaker 1: just don't go there, not on you know, like it's

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Speaker 1: so that's what I thought was.

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Speaker 2: Someone that's not in I think Nick and Alan might

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Speaker 2: because they know the sports, like you should go there

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Speaker 2: to support your team, but I think maybe a pressise,

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Speaker 2: he's not a sports guy.

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Speaker 1: Even part of Nick would even be like really like

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Speaker 1: even part of him that's like if they're hurt, like

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Speaker 1: why do they go to I mean, I mean it

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Speaker 1: hasn't really so it's like they go to practice.

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Speaker 3: Why are they spending the time?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: He even still gets a little bit like that, but

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Speaker 1: mostly understands.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's a lot of money, Like, you know, we

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Speaker 4: spent money to go to the throat and you're still

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Speaker 4: Saint Louis and.

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Speaker 3: You're still paying regardless of being hurt or not.

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Speaker 4: She's at practice standing there with the coaches and playing

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Speaker 4: DJ and high fiving with my hand and we're still

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Speaker 4: paying that membership and we're paying for the travel, and yeah,

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Speaker 4: but it Saint Louis has some of the best human

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Speaker 4: beings on the planet period. The end, I just freaking

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Speaker 4: love the people of Saint Louis. They are so friendly

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Speaker 4: and so lovely, and she the grace of I won't

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Speaker 4: make this long, but the night before we were supposed

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Speaker 4: to leave, we were traveling with a mother and daughter

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Speaker 4: and the mom texting me, so os, my daughter is sick.

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Speaker 3: She's thrown up everywhere.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, no, so I you know, we

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Speaker 4: were going to potentially be driving by ourselves at Saint Louis.

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Speaker 3: No big deal. I can handle a road trip.

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Speaker 4: But what I hated for her is she's been waiting

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Speaker 4: three years to get to a travel camp, and that

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Speaker 4: this is our first travel camp, and she's been waiting

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Speaker 4: for the.

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Speaker 3: Car rides and the hotel share and that out today

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Speaker 3: we're supposed to share room with them as well.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and we I just could feel it come over me.

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Speaker 4: It's ten o'clock at night, the night before leaving. Everyone's

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Speaker 4: got their plans. We're not all staying in the same

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Speaker 4: hotel block. It just was like, it's a very scattered

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Speaker 4: because we are a different kind of team. We're just

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Speaker 4: a sweet club team, you know. And anyways, I sent

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Speaker 4: an SOS to two moms who deserve to live in history,

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Speaker 4: Cammi and Joy, and I said, if there is They

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Speaker 4: were leaving at nine am. My husband wasn't even landing

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Speaker 4: back in Nashville until ninet thirty. So I sent a

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Speaker 4: note and I said, if there is any room in

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Speaker 4: your schedule to just we don't have to we can caravan.

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Speaker 4: You know, I just want us to not be riding

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Speaker 4: completely alone safety wise too, you know. But these women

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Speaker 4: paused at their worlds and let they all left two

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Speaker 4: hours later than they wanted to, and we all rode

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Speaker 4: together and Love had the time of her life five

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Speaker 4: hours in the.

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Speaker 3: Car, enjoyed. It made a million memories. So cute. So

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Speaker 3: what did y'all do about rooming? Did you still? I

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Speaker 3: just I just kept my own room.

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Speaker 1: But how did if y'all only had one room planned?

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Speaker 1: How did y'all both end up with a hotel room?

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Speaker 1: Did they not go?

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Speaker 3: They didn't end up going at all?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, throwing up, that's nice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so definitely go even if we're throwing up.

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Speaker 4: Well, they wanted her to, but this mom was nervous.

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Speaker 4: She'd be five hours there and I gotta be honest

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Speaker 4: with you.

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Speaker 3: And I'd be a nervous wreck. Would you might be.

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Speaker 4: Really proud of this kreamer. I'd be really extra proud

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Speaker 4: of this. She was like, she's throwing up, and I

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I don't want a carpool. I've had

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Speaker 4: my fair share sicknesses. I'm not usually that mom. But

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Speaker 4: I thought, you know what, it's kind of irresponsible for

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Speaker 4: me to bring the air for five hours twelve hours

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Speaker 4: after a vomiting So we went ahead and canceled that.

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Speaker 4: But watching Love sit and coach next to her coach

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Speaker 4: and do the motions and do the big smiles, I

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Speaker 4: have just never been more proud of a human. And

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Speaker 4: I'm just in awe of her athleticism in this moment.

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Speaker 4: It is just so I kept checking in on her feelings.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to check in on the feelings without giving

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Speaker 4: her feelings, you know, like I don't want to say

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Speaker 4: are you sad? Or does make you feel left out?

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Speaker 4: Or you know, because this is what she's been training

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Speaker 4: for since August this particular routine. Yeah, I was just

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Speaker 4: blown away. She was like, I'm nervous for them. They

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Speaker 4: did amazing and they took first in their division, second overall,

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Speaker 4: which was sweet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's great.

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Speaker 4: But I feel just really proud of the person and

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00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,960
Speaker 4: teammates she's been So that's been awesome. I love that

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Speaker 4: now she's got a slimmer cast. It's pink and glitter.

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Speaker 4: We're feeling better. I love that two more weeks than

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Speaker 4: a cast than we brace in the good memory. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's really cool. And you were also at a cheer comp.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I wish we were at the same one. Cat,

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Speaker 3: this one is huge.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been to this one in Yeah, I haven't

385
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Speaker 1: been to this one in probably eight years or so.

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Speaker 2: Yes, how was the mom drama because I saw some

387
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Speaker 2: it was in there.

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Speaker 1: No drama great, well mostly note no drama between the moms.

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Speaker 3: This weekend.

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Speaker 1: It was actually a really really good weekend. Right the

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Speaker 1: weekend before that was a little weirder and it's still

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Speaker 1: a little different, but we were all at the same hotel,

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Speaker 1: which is not always the case. So it was all

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Speaker 1: but I am in like this new mentality of I'm

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Speaker 1: having fun and I'm happy no matter what. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: where I'm just like, yeah, right there, I want to

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Speaker 1: do something. I'm going to reach out and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell I'm not going to worry about what everybody else

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Speaker 1: is doing, you know.

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Speaker 3: So it was a great It was actually a really

401
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Speaker 3: great weekend. And how is Emmy with second?

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Speaker 1: Amazing great because the team that won got a ninety

403
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Speaker 1: nine point five and the highest of the thirty one

404
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,600
Speaker 1: thousand people that were there. Wow, so thirty, I mean

405
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Speaker 1: it's huge. I saw pictures of it. Did you see

406
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Speaker 1: Ashley's posts?

407
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Speaker 2: No?

408
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 3: I saw that.

409
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,760
Speaker 4: No, I just saw our cheer coaches sent us a

410
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 4: picture and said because ours was teen yeah, yeah, like

411
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Speaker 4: teeny junny. And it was funny because they were like

412
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Speaker 4: we could have been here and they sent the picture

413
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Speaker 4: and I was like my throat, baggie, my children while

414
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Speaker 4: I'm staring at it.

415
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 1: It's definitely the most overwhelming one and I hadn't been

416
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: since Emmy was probably like seven, and I can remember

417
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 1: having her there like finding a child that was lost

418
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Speaker 1: and trying to help her find a parent.

419
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Speaker 3: Like, it's overwhelming.

420
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 1: There's so many people, but they had a great day

421
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 1: one but they jumped almost two points higher the next day,

422
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Speaker 1: so that second place felt like a win.

423
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Speaker 3: So it was great.

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Speaker 2: How do you guys deal with the disappointment when they

425
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Speaker 2: don't win? And I kind of had my first experience

426
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Speaker 2: with Jason. You guys, come on, but his little basketball tournament.

427
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Speaker 2: They were I got to give mad props to my

428
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,160
Speaker 2: ex because he coached them so well this season. They

429
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 2: were the I would say, the lowest ranking team in

430
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 2: the beginning. We ended up being Parker and Mackenzie's team.

431
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Speaker 3: That's awesome.

432
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,959
Speaker 2: They crushed us in the beginning of the season and

433
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: then we came back. I mean again, Mike just did

434
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 2: great with these kids, and they were I mean, they

435
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 2: should have won the tournament, but they you know did

436
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 2: they just made some mistakes and the you know, the

437
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 2: last But seeing Jason's face, I mean they lost by two.

438
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 3: Points, and they were and they.

439
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,439
Speaker 2: Were ahead ten points like almost the entire game, and

440
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: just to see his face, I was just he was

441
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 2: so I saw the disappointment for the first time, you know,

442
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 2: like he's been disappointed when he would strike out in baseball.

443
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 2: But it was like they knew they were the underdogs

444
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,640
Speaker 2: that came back and just and then.

445
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 4: It's also a wild hard because for a long time,

446
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 4: I feel like they don't care.

447
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, they win or lose.

448
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so when it starts registering did we win?

449
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 4: Did we win?

450
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 3: It's like and then when.

451
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 2: They know, they see the thing and I mean it

452
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 2: was just his little face and uddie and I was

453
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 2: just like, body, I'm so proud of you and you

454
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 2: guys went out there and you did amazing. I'm trying

455
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 2: to but also let them have their feelings. I'm like,

456
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 2: how have you guys got heart? We've done this for

457
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 2: a long time.

458
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: And I can I mean even I mean, it all

459
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 1: gets to me. I mean, Cayden is playing a not

460
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: even serious basketball tournament and I'm still like, oh, what

461
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 1: a heartbreaker. I mean, it's like football players playing basketball

462
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: for fun, Like it never changes. Like as many times

463
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: as Emmy's gone to a cheer comp since she was five,

464
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 1: how many first place has she gotten? I mean probably

465
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 1: a handful really if you look at it, but it

466
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 1: never goes away, Like even getting that second place the

467
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 1: other day, Emmy didn't have necessarily her best day. Just

468
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: she's usually I'm not gonna say flawless, but like she's

469
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: usually pretty and there were two things to her that

470
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: just were not perfect. So she came off disappointed, you know,

471
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: And so it never goes away. It literally, I don't

472
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 1: think ever goes away.

473
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 2: So I'm curious what you say to her, because Alan

474
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: and I've been reading this book called Us by Terrence Reel,

475
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 2: and it's all about you learn a lot about like

476
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 2: your adaptive child and your wounded child, and it's been

477
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: such a beautiful book to read together. But he was

478
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 2: talking about how as parents, some of the things that

479
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 2: we might have learned as kids, like we might have

480
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 2: gotten either the abandonment or false empowerment. So the false

481
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 2: empowerment that we received as kids then led us to

482
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 2: being the superiority when we're like, oh, we just think

483
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 2: we're this grandiose thoughts about ourselves and because our parents

484
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 2: are like, well, you're amazing this, and yes, we want

485
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 2: to empower them, but there's this piece of false empowerment

486
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 2: too that in those moments like how do you like

487
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: give them the empowerment but also not build them up

488
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 2: so much that they're just like, yeah, screw that other team,

489
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 2: you know, or you know right where it's like where

490
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 2: they they don't have this like grandiose.

491
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 3: That's a that's a fine line. I think.

492
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: As as a parent, that's a really hard question. I

493
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: think in most kids instances and in most sports, you're

494
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: not always winning, So it knocks you down on its own. Yeah,

495
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: you're not going to stay this now. Where I do

496
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: think it's detrimental to kids is when they are on

497
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: a team that is always winning. Detrimental, Like, they cannot

498
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: always be on a team that's always winning, because then

499
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: you might get to a point where you don't and

500
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 1: nine times out of ten that and you know, they

501
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: feel like they're the top dog and they have bad

502
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: attitudes when they lose. So I think the best thing

503
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 1: you can do if that starts happening is to make

504
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 1: sure they're on a team that's not always winning.

505
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 3: As hard as that is, I know.

506
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 2: That because that's for us too, Like we we like

507
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 2: to win when we play games.

508
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 4: Okay, so that's what I was going to ask, because

509
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 4: I don't care about winning, okay, yep, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

510
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 4: you don't yeah yeah, no, Like I mean, of course

511
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 4: everyone would love to win.

512
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 3: Of course, we're human. Not like no, I like him

513
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: more about that.

514
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 4: We have a great time doing it, but I think

515
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,239
Speaker 4: that's also why I was a cross country runner, right,

516
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 4: Like I wasn't in sports where it was it was

517
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 4: just me versus me, right, But when we play games,

518
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 4: I don't care about winning. I always just want us

519
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 4: to have like the best time possible. So but I

520
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 4: Preston and I have had to talk about this because

521
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 4: that can foster something in kids too that isn't necessarily beneficial.

522
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 4: I don't want to make mediocre, lackluster athletes because I'm like, well,

523
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 4: did you have a good time? Well, then that's enough,

524
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 4: you know, because you want to win and you want

525
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 4: to bring there's.

526
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: A happy medium.

527
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: I think for me, I usually go to the every

528
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: did you do everything that you felt like that you could?

529
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 3: Did you do your best?

530
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 1: And that's where Emmy was upset with herself because she

531
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: didn't feel like she did her She was not upset

532
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 1: at anyone else. She was not, you know, And so

533
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 1: teaching them at the end of the day, with these

534
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: team sports, all you can control is yourself, all you

535
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 1: and if a mistake happens, a mistake happens, So you

536
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: did your best, but a mistake still happened, you know.

537
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: I think that's all you can really do you know.

538
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,919
Speaker 1: I mean, you can empower them, but they're you know,

539
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: I think there's I don't think you have to say

540
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 1: you're the best or you know, do your best. I

541
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: think that becomes very important to kind of answer your

542
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: question and how you know, if something's very easy for them,

543
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: why was this hard for you this time?

544
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 3: Or why did we mess this up? Did we not

545
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 3: try our hardest? You know?

546
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: Or if something's really hard for them and they did

547
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: it really well, wow, like that's always been.

548
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:23,959
Speaker 3: Really hard for you.

549
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: I just think focusing on those little things, I think

550
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: is about all you can do. But you can't do

551
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: anything about the disappointment, can't do anything about the tears.

552
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 3: That's the hardest thing.

553
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: I Mean, we had cheer coaches that would yell at

554
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: them for crying, and I'm like, don't kill their spirit,

555
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 1: Like that's a competitive edge that you don't want to

556
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: go away. You want them to feel that. You want

557
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: them to be a little upset and is if they're not,

558
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: they're not upset and disappointed, they're not going to do

559
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: their best and work their hardest.

560
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 3: In my opinion, I agree.

561
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 2: I always say, of course that hurts, of course, that's yeah,

562
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 2: of course you're sad that that's This actually is a

563
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: really great example. I I am speaking just like on feelings,

564
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 2: and there's a kind of a teaching moment for my

565
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 2: daughter too. I there's a whole other layer, and I'm

566
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 2: not going to cry, Oh my goodness, because I am

567
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: fighting my sinus all the things.

568
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 3: I can't do it buck it up.

569
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: Because it's such a bigger conversation that But I had

570
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: a really hard conversation with Alan about something that I

571
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: don't even it's not it was it's not about our relationship.

572
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 2: It's about my own personal work and stuff.

573
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 3: Sure, and it was This was not.

574
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 2: In the car, but when I was in the car,

575
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 2: we were actually leaving church and something that the pastor said,

576
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: I kind of looked to Alan and I started to

577
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 2: get teary because he knew like where my emotion level

578
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 2: was at and I was basically so that you know,

579
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 2: the audition that I sent. So I ended up not

580
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 2: getting the part or whatever, and it started to make me.

581
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 2: I just had a bunch of feelings and I'll talk

582
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 2: about it later because I'm just in this like, yeah.

583
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 4: It's okay to sort it.

584
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I needs to take kind of a minute with

585
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 2: it sure, but Jolie it kind of like saw me

586
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 2: like wiping away some tears or whatever, and she's she

587
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 2: she has a little Apple watch. And so we're in

588
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 2: the Starbucks line and you know, I got my glasses.

589
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 2: I'm just like, you know, Alan holds my hand. I'm

590
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: just wiping away some tears and he and she goes, Mommy,

591
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: you don't look okay.

592
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 3: Are you okay?

593
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 2: And instead of being like, no, baby, I'm fine, I

594
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: look back and I go, you know what, baby, I

595
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: was like, Oh, your message is so sweet. I go, Actually,

596
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 2: mommy's feelings, I go, Mommy's sad. I go, you know

597
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 2: that part I was really excited about. I said, Mommy

598
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 2: just got the word that you know that I didn't

599
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 2: get it on Friday, and it makes mommy sad. Even

600
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 2: at forty two and been acting for so long, I said,

601
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 2: I'm I'm really disappointed and I'm sad, you know. And

602
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's good for kids to

603
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 2: see that, even at this age and this long, I

604
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 2: said that it still affects me yes day. I said,

605
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 2: but you know, Mommy's gonna keep on going. I said,

606
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 2: but it does hurt mommy's heart.

607
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: In this moment, I said, but I love you guys. Yeah,

608
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 3: we're all good. I think that was absolutely like the

609
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 3: best thing to do. But I wanted to say, I'm fine, right,

610
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 3: all good? And how many times have we done that million?

611
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 3: You know, I mean down to a earache?

612
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: And they can be such lessons for them. Yeah, if

613
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: we just aren't trying to make ourselves. I mean, I

614
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: get it.

615
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 3: We don't always be, you know, sometimes we like wipe

616
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 3: of course, always right right.

617
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: I know there are moments where I'm like, what am

618
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: I doing is stupid? But I think there are usually

619
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 1: good teaching moments for them.

620
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 3: Agreed, sweet girl.

621
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: Side note of it, any of you guys watched the

622
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: d I know we talked a little bit about Olympics,

623
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 2: but has anybody else watched anything else?

624
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 3: Not really just about the I've been watching.

625
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Molina, I don't want to butcher his name, but

626
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 2: the figure skater who fell a bunch during his routine

627
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,959
Speaker 2: saw the about it, Yeah, which broke my heart for him,

628
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 2: because you know, he is twenty one years old. He

629
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 2: does all the quads favored to win. You know, he

630
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: popped a lot of his jumps, fell on a couple

631
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: of them, ended up in eighth place. But the pressure

632
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: that he was to have that pressure being that star

633
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 2: always like in that number one position, and it's like

634
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 2: it wasn't able to handle that pressure too, And I

635
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 2: can't imagine that for you know, yes he's not a

636
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 2: kid anymore, but growing being the favorite Yeah yeah, favored

637
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 2: person too, you know, but yes, but still is.

638
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 3: But it's still so young even if you think about it.

639
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 3: But yeah, that pressure.

640
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: And then he said too, it's like fighting invisible battles,

641
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: you know, that people don't know about.

642
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 3: So it's aren't we all we're all just that it

643
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 3: all comes in when you're when you're doing that on

644
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 3: the biggest stage, it's just like made me sad.

645
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 4: Represent the whole country like that is just can you

646
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: imagine the pressure?

647
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? I can't at all, But I'm just maybe just

648
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 2: think about kids too and the pressure that when they're

649
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: always winning, like you to your point, always on the

650
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: winning team. Yeah, how that might make them have this Yeah.

651
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: I mean my sister in law brings that up to

652
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: me all the time because her son was like that

653
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 1: in basketball for years and she's like, we're not doing

654
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: this anymore. We're taking to a different team. You're going

655
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:04,239
Speaker 1: to go on a team that's got to fight for

656
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: it because this is not good for you. I mean,

657
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: because they just get you know, you get used to it.

658
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 4: Well.

659
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 3: I kind of see that with Amy because I feel

660
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 3: like they always won. No, they don't always win. I

661
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 3: just really oh yeah, okay, And a lot of times

662
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 3: I was like, man, yes, and I mean yeah, yes, definitely.

663
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 3: And and that's the thing.

664
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: Even this season we have gone we won the first one,

665
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: we bombed the second one. Three and a half of deductions,

666
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: you know, I mean it's like and then we did

667
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 1: okay day one, but then killed day two. It is

668
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: all over the place. And that's where your emotions if

669
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: you can't like kind of keep them in check because again,

670
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 1: it's just it can you know.

671
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 4: And that's why we chose the music industry, because defeat

672
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 4: is every day and you can.

673
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 3: Never get too big for.

674
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 4: You.

675
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: That's a great nas we're navigating at the bros. Houses.

676
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: And then they take this into adulthood because that's all

677
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: that they really can compare it to is the sports

678
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: that they play. And then and it's like, hello, like

679
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: life beat you down, yeah, and you are not always

680
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: as an adult.

681
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: Perfect segue. Into wine about it. Oh, does anybody got anything?

682
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:24,959
Speaker 1: I have a little wine about it. But it's like

683
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 1: so silly, go for it, y'all. I'm starting to get gray.

684
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 3: I found my first. Oh it's been here, and I

685
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 3: know that. I know. I'm blessed. Hashtag blessed. I don't

686
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: even need the hate.

687
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: So, y'all, I think I don't have a gray yet,

688
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 2: and I'm shocked I found one.

689
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 3: She came out. She's right at the bank.

690
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: I've got a several several, Yeah, I do you Oh,

691
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: she's she happened.

692
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,239
Speaker 3: They've been there for a little while. I'm surprised you'll

693
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 3: haven't noticed. But it's going to Are we going to

694
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: keep it?

695
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I need to know. Well, here's is

696
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 2: great with it? Like look at Hillary Burton.

697
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 3: Yes, she does rock it like right now.

698
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: It's just like, you know, there's like three or four

699
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: or five guys sitting there, and then there's some random ones,

700
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: you know, and I'll pluck them every now and then,

701
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: and then one day they're curly. Then you know, it's

702
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 1: all It's It's just that's my question. Okay, so you

703
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: start to get a couple. I don't dye my hair

704
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: ever ever, you've never once, never, once. I did a

705
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,959
Speaker 1: semi permanent when I was a teenager's.

706
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, why you just day beautiful human to me?

707
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: Well, I did a semi permanent not to get to whatever,

708
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: but I had alopecia, yes, and so I was scared

709
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: to dye my hair. I was like, I'm afraid it's

710
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: going to fall out, you know. I was terrified of it.

711
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: So one time I was like, He's like, we could

712
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: try a semi permanent. It's not going to kill your hair.

713
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: And I was like, it's fine, but like I don't

714
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: care enough to keep up with.

715
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you also have a beautiful natural wells. So

716
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: what do you feel when the girl when you see

717
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 2: the gray.

718
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: Not a lot of emotion about it, right at all.

719
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like I wish I said, I wish I

720
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: could say that. Yeah, I mean I had emotion.

721
00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: I had an emotion.

722
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: I just still I don't know what it is and

723
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: I should probably care more. No, But when stuff like that,

724
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: I don't know why it doesn't bother me. I just

725
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: need to know that's great.

726
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I guess it is good.

727
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: You know, but there's a point where I'm gonna my

728
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: I guess my point in saying it is this, though.

729
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: My problem is, you know, like I just throw it

730
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: up in a bun, people criticize it. I don't care,

731
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: you know, criticize what your bun, yeah, like do something

732
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: with your hair, and I just don't care. But my problem,

733
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: my worry is that I don't care so much. Just

734
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm gona get to point people are gonna be like.

735
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 4: No, we would tell you girls got a dire hair.

736
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 4: I think we would tell you. I think so gray

737
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 4: is so cool. Yeah, I just don't think it starts.

738
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: Like being like once it's like all gray, yeah cool,

739
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: but like just little spurts of gray.

740
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 4: Good with spurts. I don't think the spirts are beautiful.

741
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: Do we touch up until I would probably if it

742
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 2: was me, I would touch up until it was more.

743
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: That's what I'm wondering, because it's like, you know, it's

744
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: just like and it's not like a big like clump.

745
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: It's just like a hair and hair and hair, and

746
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: then there's like a few like random ones or whatever.

747
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 2: But also it's still like I can't I can't tell

748
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: and it still looks good, you know, Yeah, I.

749
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: Mean it's not bad yet, but it's happening, and it's

750
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 1: weird almost. It's like now I notice, I'm like another one. Yeah,

751
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait, this one wasn't here the other day,

752
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like I'm like, it's coming, it's coming. Yeah,

753
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,239
Speaker 1: that's my that's my wine about it.

754
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're there.

755
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: I think that is was the emotion which we've talked

756
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 4: about and I've talked about for I don't really feel

757
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 4: forty four.

758
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 3: Oh, I truly don't feel. Yeah.

759
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 4: I feel like we're all just taking great care of

760
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 4: ourselves and really proud of that for us. Like, but

761
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 4: it's weird when you have these like super sobering moments

762
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 4: are like, yeah, well now that's a great and I

763
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 4: came to get Now Preston is getting He's going to

764
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 4: kill me for saying this thought.

765
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 2: He's getting very salty, and I love. I think Alan's

766
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 2: the same thing. He's like, babe, He's like, I'm getting gray,

767
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: and I.

768
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 3: Was like, yeah, same. I think it's cute. I'm like,

769
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 3: I think it's been great for a while in his beard. Yeah.

770
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

771
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 4: But I think because he's in this industry where it's

772
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 4: like look younger, be younger, and don't sit your age,

773
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 4: you know whatever. And so I came into him. I

774
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 4: was like, baby, look it right here, and he's like, well,

775
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 4: you just you just got one.

776
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 3: That's it.

777
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 4: Like it was almost like but it was such a

778
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 4: weird because I I guess I'm in some sort.

779
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 3: Did y'all ever get gray hairs when you were young? Ever?

780
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 3: So Jolie remember that one time? Yeah? Do you remember

781
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 3: when she was like four, three or four?

782
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: It was in Los Angeles and I'm like, I plucked

783
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 2: a gray she had one?

784
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, gray hair.

785
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 4: Didn't we all get gray hair from that chapter?

786
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,320
Speaker 3: That was the chapter that age just saw like a

787
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 3: presidential term, very joy. Even Jo's poster little gray. That's

788
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: why I'm surprised.

789
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: You really fared well, friend, But like I can remember

790
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: finding them in seventh grade, So I think that's why

791
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 1: it also hasn't hit me as like necessarily like an

792
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,479
Speaker 1: old thing. Like I remember being at the lunch table

793
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: and somebody be like, you got a gray hair, and

794
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's interesting, and.

795
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 3: Maybe, yeah, I know it's a blonde too.

796
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: I think there's an iron deficion, there's something, and I

797
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 2: do have low iron.

798
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm surprised. I'm not I probably just made

799
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 3: that up. And I'm not gonna chat because Chad doesn't

800
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 3: tell me the truth all the time. But I'm just

801
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 3: saying boop.

802
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 2: But I I remember looking at it, and I've seen

803
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 2: the doctor and they said, because I'm like, why is

804
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 2: my four or three four year old having a right?

805
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 2: But and I want to but I don't know. I'm

806
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 2: so uneducated.

807
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: Let us know. I don't know.

808
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,800
Speaker 1: I will look into that because I mean, I've always

809
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: had low iron, so maybe.

810
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I take iron simplement. I don't know how.

811
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 3: I don't know.

812
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 4: I don't know how I feel about it, but I

813
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:41,919
Speaker 4: am getting I've gotten I think one of the low

814
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 4: iron is strongly linked to premature graying.

815
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 3: But is this premature greg Well, that's what I don't know.

816
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 3: Maybe it was when I was in seventh grade. Right

817
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 3: when is it? When do we google that?

818
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 4: Yes?

819
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: When is the normal age to start graying? Because I

820
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: don't know that it's well, I know.

821
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 3: Is there maybe an average to get gray hair? Yeah?

822
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 2: Well, okay, most people start to notice their first gray

823
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 2: hairs in their thirties or early forties.

824
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's normal.

825
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: But maybe it was fun when I was like seventh

826
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: grade and had one, and then Jolie when she was young.

827
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 3: Why is a young kid.

828
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 4: A chat?

829
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: This is Google? Okay?

830
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 2: Which ya it's called by like vitamin deficiencies, iron or whatever.

831
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: Okay, that would make sense for why I would have

832
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: seen one when I was younger, I'm sure. Yeah, because

833
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: I didn't find out I was low and iron and

834
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: stress environment hair stuff happened.

835
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you have a.

836
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 4: We can make this quick, but I actually wanted to

837
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 4: ask y'all on a text message, so might as well

838
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 4: just ask it here in front of all of.

839
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 3: Our friends that can judge me for it. Do you

840
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 3: think that.

841
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: There is an age where you should no longer have

842
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: longer hair? Because I'm starting to feel I don't want short.

843
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 3: Short there yet? Well, I don't actually don't know.

844
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 4: For me, something has happened between forty two and forty

845
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 4: four that is really shifting for me.

846
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,240
Speaker 1: It's sixty really, yes, we don't need to wait too,

847
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 1: this is too early.

848
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 4: Wait which I'm not talking about going like short short

849
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 4: like because like fifty year olds and stuff have long hair.

850
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 3: Well like just say though, yet the fifty year olds

851
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 3: we know do well, Pam just chopped her She chopped

852
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 3: it but it's not like.

853
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 4: No, but she's on her like she's but I'm saying

854
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 4: that to my Hey, Pam, it was really a pleasure

855
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 4: me listen to this episode.

856
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 3: We are not I feel like we are.

857
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 4: I'm one year away from being on the back side.

858
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 3: And maybe that's because I'm great gray away from a

859
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: second Sorry, can we get in my asthmosis?

860
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 2: No?

861
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 4: She like you know, like even Pam is getting in

862
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 4: her later forties. She talks about the very openly, so,

863
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,359
Speaker 4: but she did chop. I'm just wondering fifty year olds

864
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 4: still have long I missed my last hair appointment by

865
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 4: I'm like months out right now, which is fine because

866
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 4: color wise, I'm going more natural, so it's not really

867
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 4: big deal. But I've noticed I always grow my hair

868
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 4: pretty fast, and so I have just felt like you've

869
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 4: noticed this has been this is the mo for the

870
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 4: last two episodes, because it's so long and gross and

871
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 4: just feels like it feels youthfully long for my age,

872
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 4: like it's starting like I'm I don't I don't feel

873
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 4: like I match it.

874
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: Oh, there's no specific age to cut your hair short.

875
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: Modern dialing trends allow for long, healthy hair at any age.

876
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 2: While many women historically cut their hair around age fifty

877
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 2: to sixty due to changing their texture, thinning, easy maintenance

878
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: makes sense. I will say, though, I too, have looked

879
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 2: around at other forties mid forties people with their hair

880
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 2: length because I am as well, feeling like I'm not

881
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 2: fitting my long hair anymore, and I'm thinking about a chop.

882
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 3: I'm ready, so we need to cut it. So everyone's

883
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 3: cutting it in their forties.

884
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 2: But also I then I remember getting on my mom.

885
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, Mom, don't chop your don't mom chop? Yeah,

886
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 2: you know, like keep your long hair.

887
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 4: But I don't think it's mom chopping anymore because now

888
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 4: it is cute.

889
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 3: It's like mom chopping.

890
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 4: No no, no, no, like lobbing like like no, like no.

891
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: That's like seventy eighty okay, yeah, so we're just gradually.

892
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 1: It's so funny. I'll bring this up though. This weekend,

893
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 1: literally I had so many friends and be like, oh

894
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: my gosh, your hair is so long.

895
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 3: It looks so good.

896
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: So I was like, thanks, I'll keep it long, and no,

897
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: guess what we're chopping and touching it up?

898
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 3: You do you boo?

899
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you want to do the strong opinion about

900
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 4: me cutting though.

901
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 2: He doesn't want you to see. Alan's like baby, He's like,

902
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 2: do whatever you want.

903
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 4: Well, it's going to be cute no matter what.

904
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: I've never seen your hair short.

905
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: I've seen your hair short and I love it short,

906
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: so that doesn't bother me.

907
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, great news because my car. When I

908
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 3: got the Catherine approval, and then I thought, do I

909
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 3: get a bang? I used to get banged every fall

910
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 3: without it, I don't think bang. No, Wow, it's okay.

911
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 4: We can have strong opinions, sang, and I got to

912
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 4: tidy up my vision board.

913
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: Okay maybe no, I don't know. I just remember I'm

914
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: just a showrunner. Actually are one Tree Hill showrunner. He said,

915
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: if you would have had bangs, you wouldn't have been hired.

916
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 2: He hated bangs. He always says it's where women keep

917
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 2: their secrets, but well, that's where we keep our secret.

918
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 3: He's not the gunner. So how did that work out? Yeah,

919
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 3: he's probably twenty so shut up.

920
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 2: Ten no and so, but I I had bangs when

921
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, bangs are super cute, but

922
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 2: once you have them, they're you know.

923
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 4: Well, I got bangs when I got pregnant with lion because.

924
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: I remember, but they were like, no, they're not.

925
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:26,879
Speaker 4: Yeah.

926
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 3: I was never going to get like they're they're like longer.

927
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 3: I remember that question across. I remember it was cute.

928
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 4: I always felt pretty because I felt like it always

929
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 4: brought out my eyes. I used to do every single fall,

930
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 4: and then I would just grow them out through the winter.

931
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I I touch up.

932
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: You go put up those banks and we'll be good.

933
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 3: Well I can't, now, yes you can. We can do

934
00:40:47,000 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 3: whatever we want, all right.

935
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: So headline this week, which is sad because James Vanderbeek

936
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 2: has passed away from cancer and I just from colorectal

937
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 2: cancer at the age of forty eight. It's so incredibly sad,

938
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 2: as leaving his wife Kimberly and six kids.

939
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 3: I mean, it's awful.

940
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: I mean just mel Dawson's creek cart and I even

941
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 2: texted Mary who played you know his mom and just

942
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: like all the like he was such we had the

943
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 2: opportunity to interview him on when I did like the

944
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: Massing Earth thing. Such a nice guy, like just so lovely.

945
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 2: So it's absolutely awful. And I even hate speaking about

946
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 2: this headline given that he's passed, but there's some controversy

947
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: going around, so let's dive into it. James Vanderbeek's financial

948
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 2: situation after his passing on FIBRU eleven set up a

949
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 2: firestorm of controversy on the internet. So immediately after his death,

950
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 2: a gofund me account was set up to assist the

951
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: large family with their uncertain future. The funds were to

952
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: help Kimberly and the children for essential living expenses, pay bills,

953
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 2: and support the children's education with Within a matter of days,

954
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 2: the account raised over two point six million dollars. But

955
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,760
Speaker 2: then his rep explained to the out Outlet that James

956
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: secured a down payment for the Texas ranch for the

957
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 2: family with the help of friends through a trust so

958
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 2: they could shift from rent to mortgage. The thirty six

959
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 2: acre ranch was purchased on January ninth for four point

960
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 2: seven six million dollars. And that's when the backlash began.

961
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 2: So a lot of people that had contributed to the GoFundMe.

962
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 2: You know, people are saying like, must have had, must

963
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 2: not have had real financial issues of taking on responsibilities

964
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 2: of multimillion dollar property. One critic said, an x and

965
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 2: the GoFundMe is going to pay for the rest. Mind

966
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: boggling to me that regular people are donating for someone

967
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 2: to maintain their luxury lifestyle and someone else wrote great,

968
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 2: so his family doesn't need donations from poor people making

969
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 2: thirty k per year. And what I think, just what

970
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 2: makes me sad, first and foremost is that this is

971
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 2: overshadowing the little life that was taken, and it's it's

972
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 2: very sad, but there is outrage obviously, so.

973
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 4: So was the GoFundMe opened, and then days later the

974
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 4: rep starts talking about it being a four point seven

975
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 4: million dollar property. Yes, okay, I believe that people were

976
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 4: donating before we knew that this was a four point

977
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 4: seven Yes.

978
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 3: That's how I've understood it. Yeah, correct me, Yes, okay.

979
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: So the go fund me was already out, was raising money,

980
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: and it was public, so it's not like it was

981
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 1: just going to some friends.

982
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 3: I saw people posting about us.

983
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you know, and then he went from

984
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: renting to purchasing to have a mortgage, which I posted

985
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:43,280
Speaker 1: the GoFundMe was it. I'm sure like friends and family.

986
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: I would think I think friends and family. Okay, you know.

987
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: My opinion on this is man obviously all of this

988
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 1: is so sad, and I can so understand being a

989
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: man and wanting them to not be renting and to

990
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: be in a home, to be comfortable and have the

991
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,760
Speaker 1: mortgage and the bills and all of that paid. Where

992
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: this went wrong was the public gofund me. In my opinion,

993
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: I just it's a very tricky thing anyway for you know,

994
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: for celebrities to.

995
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 3: Just want to correction one thing. His wife launched the GoFundMe.

996
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: Okay, so his wife started the gofund me account, And

997
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: I can understand as a wife being mortified, I mean

998
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: and terrified, not mortified, terrified for their future where they

999
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: care of their kids. Six kids they're renting, which is

1000
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: probably astronomical amount, you know, this huge estate they're you

1001
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: know they're in California, I zoom or I don't know

1002
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: where they're Texas, but either way, spending a lot of

1003
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: money on rent. So I can understand all of this

1004
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: needing to go to like a purchase situation before he

1005
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 1: passes away, to make sure everybody's taken care of. I

1006
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 1: understand that. Again, where I think it went wrong is

1007
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: going to a public gofund me. Because I think people

1008
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: are are right to be a little outraged if you

1009
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 1: gave some money and you're barely making any money and

1010
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: then you do that, and then to find out that

1011
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: he spent or they spent sorry not they spent four

1012
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: points something million dollars on a home like that just

1013
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: gets really tricky. And I understand that celebrities can be

1014
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: making zero. I mean, you can be a celebrity and

1015
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: be on a show back in the day. I'm not

1016
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: saying he was making zero, but he could have been

1017
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 1: on a show Dawson's Creek and then not ever really

1018
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: worked again. But be a celebrity, but not be bringing

1019
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 1: in any money.

1020
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 2: Right if he's not acting exactly And I don't know

1021
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 2: the residuals how that played a role back in the

1022
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 2: day too, so I'm sure he got some sort of

1023
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: but sometimes they do a residual payout, so then they

1024
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 2: don't end up having residuals at right.

1025
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: Or maybe it's not enough to support Like I can

1026
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: understand all of that. I don't think everyone fully understands

1027
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 1: that though. I don't think everyone. Once you know a celebrity,

1028
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,919
Speaker 1: you think of them as being rich, right, you think

1029
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 1: of them as having money. That's not I mean, how

1030
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: many people have we seen that have blown all their money,

1031
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: you know, or they're just they had they were a

1032
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 1: one hit wonder, but we know their name, but that

1033
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: didn't do anything for them for the next twenty thirty years.

1034
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: So it's just tricky, you know. I just think that

1035
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 1: the most people don't fully understand that.

1036
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 3: And then you're giving money your heart and money know

1037
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 3: that part?

1038
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 2: Then then how does so let's just say he didn't

1039
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 2: have that, is it's still then okay? Because so just

1040
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 2: on the other side of that, Yeah, knowing that is

1041
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 2: the case.

1042
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,760
Speaker 1: I I think it's okay.

1043
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 3: I truly do.

1044
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: I think it's okay. But where I think then that

1045
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 1: goes wrong is I love y'all. I'm going to take

1046
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: care of y'all. We're going to downsize, yeah, like the

1047
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: we're gonna responsible. Yeah, And I think you have to

1048
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: be upfront. I think this has to be a hey,

1049
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 1: and you explain it. Like I know that my husband

1050
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 1: was a celebrity. You know, this is our money situation.

1051
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: It drained us. We've obviously been living on this and

1052
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 1: I would love for my kids to be able to

1053
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: keep this lifestyle, but that's not reality. We're going to

1054
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: have to you know, it just gets a little tricky

1055
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: when you're saying I'm not making any more money, and

1056
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: then you're buying a four point something million dollar house

1057
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: and did you who, where did the money come from?

1058
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:16,919
Speaker 1: Did you have the money? It just gets tricky. And again,

1059
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 1: I don't think it's wrong necessarily to ask for money,

1060
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: but then to ask for money and then buy a

1061
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 1: four point six million I think it just gets that's where, yeah.

1062
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 3: And I get that.

1063
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 4: I think we're also living in an economic climate where

1064
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 4: we are all downsizing or refinancing or trying to save

1065
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 4: or picking up different habits for spending or not spending

1066
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,280
Speaker 4: that help us be in a different position. So listen,

1067
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 4: I would love to live on a thirty six acre, right,

1068
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 4: I mean, that's the dream, right. And I can also

1069
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 4: understand the great loss. I mean I can't understand, but

1070
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 4: I can empathize with the loss of a husband and

1071
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 4: wanting to keep a state of life for kids that

1072
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 4: just lost their dad. I just it's a that's a

1073
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 4: really big part. I mean, that's a huge property. Four

1074
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 4: point seven million dollars is and especially in Texas, by

1075
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 4: the way, because in Texas we can get money to

1076
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 4: go a little bit further in some areas. So I

1077
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 4: just I I also do think I can understand. I

1078
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 4: understand like the fans have wanted to. I think that's the.

1079
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 3: Only way they can sometimes connect.

1080
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 4: Right, So like it feels good to to give Dawson

1081
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 4: some money, it feels like something. Yeah, Like it just

1082
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 4: feels like, okay, this is the least we can do.

1083
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 4: How do we mourn or grieve, and so here take

1084
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 4: some of this. It's probably wasn't like they're not It's

1085
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 4: just sweet. Actually, I think it's really sweet. And then

1086
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 4: it just felt like a little bit of a slap

1087
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 4: in the face. It was like, oh right, I feel

1088
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 4: like we.

1089
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: Were helping because of your medical bills and we just

1090
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 1: help you buy a four point something million dollar health.

1091
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 2: Here's a question. Do you wish the rep would have

1092
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 2: not said anything? Or is it good that the rep

1093
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 2: said something? To be honest about the situation. This is

1094
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:05,240
Speaker 2: a little avoidant.

1095
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 4: I wish they wouldn't have just because I do feel

1096
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 4: like now it's overshadowing the loss of this really great

1097
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 4: human And so now this is the headline over the world,

1098
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 4: warning the loss of this talented actor and dad and father.

1099
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: I mean, and husband yeah, and I agree with that.

1100
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: I just think, on the other hand, it should know, yeah,

1101
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 1: like you should know where your money's go. But I

1102
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: don't even know if we're clear if that money went

1103
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 1: towards that, or if that money did go to pay

1104
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 1: bills or you know, someone could have said they could

1105
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: have done a GoFundMe and someone could have said he

1106
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 1: was my favorite person in the whole where here's five

1107
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: million dollars. After that happens, like we don't know the

1108
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 1: exact specifics, like that money might not have gone towards that, sure,

1109
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: but you know, so I don't know. Some transparency I

1110
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: think is very important, but it is overshadowing, so that's tough.

1111
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 2: I could use some advice on how to handle feeling

1112
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 2: overwhelmed and isolated, sometimes to the point where life feels impossible.

1113
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 2: I feel guilty for having these feelings, especially as a mother.

1114
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: My partner works crazy hours and isn't able to be

1115
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 2: around a lot. I work full time and I live

1116
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,720
Speaker 2: a couple of hour ways hour aways from family and friends.

1117
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound super crazy, but when there's a lot

1118
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: going on, or I have to rush to the ear

1119
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 2: with a baby by myself, I can feel overwhelming and stressful.

1120
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 3: Maybe are you right?

1121
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 2: Just hey, gad a friends sign KB, just wondering what

1122
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 2: helps with the littles and traveling husbands. I remember KB

1123
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 2: just recently and Jana mentioning husbands have to be away

1124
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 2: and not having family help while dealing sick or her babies.

1125
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 2: In my heart goes out to any mom who has

1126
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 2: to go through this. I admire and respect to each

1127
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 2: of you as women and as mothers. Any advice you'd

1128
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 2: be greatly appreciated and helpful. Love you girls, KB, take

1129
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:40,439
Speaker 2: it away.

1130
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 4: I mean, I really just been living this for the

1131
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 4: last ten years, but more specifically the last year. I

1132
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 4: do Okay. So one thing I feel really proud of

1133
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 4: myself for and I because I don't know if it's

1134
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 4: the way we're raised. I don't know if it's the

1135
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 4: alcohol drug addicted family and very resilient do by myself

1136
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 4: independent blah blah blah. I just don't ask for help,

1137
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 4: like I don't phone a friend to say, like, you know, so,

1138
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 4: for instance, just a recent example, like love has to

1139
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 4: go into the e ar they're going to put her under.

1140
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 4: I'm obviously not going to take all three kids if

1141
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 4: I can help it. But we don't have family. And

1142
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: I'm also at that point, I had been in it all day,

1143
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 4: and I'm like, who do who lives close to here

1144
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 4: that I'm not taking? You know, like I have this

1145
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 4: such I think we probably all share this, Like it's

1146
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 4: very hard for me to ask for help because I

1147
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 4: know then I'm taking you away from your family or

1148
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 4: your family. So I will say and I'll try not

1149
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 4: to get emotional during this, but it was probably like

1150
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 4: the most I'm gonna probably get emotional. It's I have

1151
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: never experienced community like I did when love broke her arm.

1152
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 4: I've never seen and I think a lot of that

1153
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 4: is not that the community hasn't been available to me.

1154
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 4: So that's the one thing I would want to just

1155
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 4: pass along more than anything is. I think sometimes we

1156
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 4: feel more lonely than we actually are, and we get

1157
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 4: in our own way because we feel indebted if we ask,

1158
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 4: or we feel like it's weakness if we ask for

1159
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 4: me We've just been conditioned to just never have help,

1160
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 4: so it's not our default to think for help, like

1161
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 4: that's my default is just to not ask for help

1162
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:10,240
Speaker 4: because notoriously and historically no one has showed up for me. Family, wise,

1163
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 4: and so the coaches actually had had message and said,

1164
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 4: can we come sit with you? My first gut reaction

1165
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,720
Speaker 4: is no, because I also know that I do better

1166
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 4: because it's comfortable to me to be alone. I just

1167
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 4: just leave me alone, just me and my bible, you know.

1168
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 4: And I actually just gutterly said yes. And when they

1169
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:31,959
Speaker 4: showed up, I don't know how they got there so fast,

1170
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 4: It felt like ten minutes. They came with a stack

1171
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 4: of cards. They were the ones that paused the doctors

1172
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 4: to pray over love, and they led the prayer so

1173
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 4: that I didn't have to sit there weeping like a

1174
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 4: ridiculous mom. And when everything was done, they so timely

1175
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 4: and sweetly exited. They sat in the background. They weren't

1176
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 4: looking for attention. I think too, if you grew up

1177
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,279
Speaker 4: a certain type of parent, it becomes about them. And

1178
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 4: in those instances, I have found that being alone is

1179
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 4: just easier than having to deal with another personality.

1180
00:52:59,080 --> 00:52:59,399
Speaker 3: And so.

1181
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 4: I just want to maybe ask the question back to you,

1182
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 4: dearest gentle reader, if you have people you can lean into,

1183
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 4: are you just not taking advantage of that? Because that

1184
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 4: has been my experience. Like I know, if I call

1185
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 4: either of you you're going to get to me. Yeah,

1186
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 4: you just will. It's my own issue to not overcome asking.

1187
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 3: You for the help.

1188
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:24,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you're able to also maybe get extra

1189
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 2: help with someone that can help with the kids, to pay,

1190
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 2: you know, a part time sitter or something. Yeah, Like

1191
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 2: I do think there's there's other options the friends aren't available.

1192
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I you know, I reached out to one

1193
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 4: of the people that used to sit for us, and

1194
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 4: they were kind of like not super jumping on the

1195
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 4: chance to get there for us that night, and I

1196
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 4: was like, so I ended up texting Cheney because she

1197
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,399
Speaker 4: lives so close. I'm like, I don't know when I'm going.

1198
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 4: I don't, but I knew she had Josh home and

1199
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 4: she was like, of course, you know, like the kids

1200
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 4: are comfortable with her, and it was like no big

1201
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 4: deal for her, but it was so My whole point

1202
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 4: is I think that there might be more of a communie.

1203
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 4: Then we lean into We're just so used to doing

1204
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,240
Speaker 4: things alone that that becomes our default. And I'm trying

1205
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 4: really hard to reframe my brain. This is my goal

1206
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 4: for myself this year, just to find the village a

1207
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 4: little more or lean into the.

1208
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 3: Village a little more.

1209
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I do think there is you know, if

1210
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 4: you can get even a couple hours of mother's helper,

1211
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 4: like it doesn't have to be even leave the building

1212
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 4: just to lock yourself in your room for like an hour.

1213
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, getting the village is key.

1214
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 1: And I mean, I have a husband that's home all

1215
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: the time and we have a huge village that helps

1216
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: us that we could not do it without, you know,

1217
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: And so I think, like you said, it's very important

1218
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: to lean into that. And at the end of the day,

1219
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,399
Speaker 1: the village means you're also helping. So to me, there's

1220
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: there's no reason. I understand the guilt part of it,

1221
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: but there's truly no reason to feel guilt over that

1222
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: because it's a give and take. It's not like, you know,

1223
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,240
Speaker 1: as long as not one person's always the one giving,

1224
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 1: you know.

1225
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 3: And maybe it's hard.

1226
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 1: For you to find that village and that case, you know,

1227
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, maybe you don't have a neighborhood or

1228
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: maybe you don't have those people. But I would definitely

1229
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 1: say that's going to be your best bet to find

1230
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: someone that y'all can give and take where you can

1231
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: help when you have some energy and extra time and

1232
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: they can help you.

1233
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: And I would say too, it's okay to hold the

1234
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 2: feelings that you want it to be your husband, because

1235
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 2: I think that's where you sometimes go into that where

1236
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 2: it's but I want my husband to be there.

1237
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1238
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you want to do life with the person you

1239
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 4: chose to do life with. Yeah, that's what I think

1240
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 4: has been the hardest. But the reality also is that

1241
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 4: in order for us to have a life, he has

1242
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 4: to go make money, and making money for us is

1243
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 4: away from us. It sounds like current I have that

1244
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 4: in common. So it's like you just I think there

1245
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 4: is a level of acceptance that I've hit which I

1246
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 4: felt like, felt like in my body it translated to defeat.

1247
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 4: So I had to really reframe that and work through that,

1248
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 4: like accepting something and being defeated by something or different,

1249
00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 4: and also just finding some space and some village is

1250
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,400
Speaker 4: really important, even if it just starts with you and

1251
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 4: a girlfriend together and one of you runs out and

1252
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 4: does an Aaron and you watch their kids. We you know,

1253
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 4: like flip flop whatever, Just get some comfortability, because it's

1254
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,439
Speaker 4: really it just is game.

1255
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 1: I will say too, we didn't truly get like a

1256
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 1: village village until the third child and to say, now

1257
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 1: that's where we all have the breaking point, right we did,

1258
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: but like it truly fell into place with that third kid,

1259
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,919
Speaker 1: and Ramsey just went on a cruise with that second mother.

1260
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: I mean we basically call her her second mom, you know.

1261
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: And so it's like there's other positives to that too.

1262
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's good for the kids. They've got the relationships.

1263
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: I think it's good for them to learn to behave

1264
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 1: for other people in their home and all this.

1265
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,840
Speaker 3: So I think there's a lot of positives to that.

1266
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:48,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I would also like to recommend a book

1267
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:49,760
Speaker 2: building a non.

1268
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 3: Anxious life, because I stress.

1269
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 2: About the schedule of things, just as I'm stressing about how,

1270
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 2: you know, getting you know, the schedule for the movie

1271
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 2: and the kids making sure I see them and so

1272
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 2: it's but also what Keith has been helping me is

1273
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 2: just staying really present in today. And that's been the

1274
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 2: one main thing that's helping me not be as anxious

1275
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 2: about because, you know, opportunities like I know Alan's going

1276
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 2: to get the opportunity one day, and as he should

1277
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 2: because he's an amazing coach to head coach, But I

1278
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 2: don't need to stress about that right now, correct I.

1279
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 2: You know, we will figure it out when it happens,

1280
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 2: you know. And I hope it happens for him, you know.

1281
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 2: But I think it's just staying present what is right

1282
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 2: now and what can I do today too, not be

1283
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 2: anxious about it and good the people around.

1284
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 3: So hope that helps. Love you guys, Hey, Catherine, you

1285
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:43,400
Speaker 3: ready to go to clueland almost boop?

1286
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 2: Send me a both guard well will zoomy and baby girl? Okay,

1287
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 2: well zoom me in a podcast next week.

1288
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 3: Bye bye