1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. I remember seeing him 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 1: being lived up and then they put him on me, 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: and then again never held a baby before, I like didn't. 5 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: I was afraid to touch him. I was like, what 6 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: does he look like? What does he look like? And 7 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,639 Speaker 1: then my doctor was stitching me up, and he's like, 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: hold on, and he like picked him up for me 9 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 1: and like positioned himself. I can see, and my husband's like, 10 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: he looks like a mime. Like he had like these 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: big red lips, and then he was just white because 12 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: he was covered in that what's it called, like vernon 13 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: covered in all that, So he just had these like 14 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: big red lips with this white face. Oh my god, 15 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: that's so adorable. He looks like a my Hello everybody, 16 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:53,160 Speaker 1: and welcome back to Katie's Crib. I just met this 17 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: superstar at the time of this reporting. A few weeks ago. 18 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: I had the huge fortune and of getting to do 19 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: a teeny wee bit role on the final season of 20 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: This Is Us, which is literally the freaking biggest show 21 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: to have ever hit network television. I'm a fan of 22 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,479 Speaker 1: the show. I'm a fan of this actress, and we 23 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,479 Speaker 1: got to talk on set and hang out and she's 24 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 1: an incredible mom. Spoiler alert, It's Caitlin Thompson who is here. 25 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: She is a film and television actress. She is a 26 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: mom to a two year old named Ben. She can 27 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: currently be seen on NBC's hit drama wh Joarney told 28 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: you about, called This Is as you may have heard it. 29 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: She plays Madison. She's also known for her roles in 30 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: Greek nine O two one, No, Christmas, Perfection, A Million 31 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: trillion More. She's beautiful on the inside and out. Welcome 32 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: to Katie's crib. Caitman, I really think you're such a 33 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: different mom than other moms in my life. My vibe 34 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: on set was that you're really a straight shooter. Now 35 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: I want to live up to that. I feel like 36 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: I appear maybe calm on the oide been on the inside, 37 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: I'm like scrambling. Oh. I love to hear that, because 38 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: I just was like, wow, like this mama is not 39 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: rattled easily. I think it depends on the moment and 40 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 1: like where I'm at in life and like what that 41 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: day was like. So maybe you caught me on a 42 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 1: good day and maybe I have a great baby. But now, 43 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,359 Speaker 1: for sure I get rattled, and I would for sure 44 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: say I have anxiety and I google everything. I think 45 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: it just comes and goes. Did you always want to 46 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 1: be a mom? Was something like that in your cards? 47 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: I read somewhere that you would never even changed a 48 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: diaper before you had a baby. That's true, No, I wouldn't. 49 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: I don't think I was the kind of girl that 50 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: was like playing with baby dolls and playing mommy. I 51 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to play doctor, I'm going to 52 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 1: play grocery store clerk. Sure you more associated with job 53 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: than mom. Yeah, but I guess you know, when we 54 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,839 Speaker 1: were talking about having kids or whatever, like, it wasn't 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: a thing that I was like, yes, I'm ready, I'm 56 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: dying to have a baby. My husband we talked about 57 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: we didn't want to have kids or a kid. And 58 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: so I was as an animal person, so I feel 59 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: like that's where my maternal aspect kicked in. So I 60 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: was like, okay, if I can take care of a 61 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: dog and chickens and be okay, like, maybe I can 62 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: handle a human. I really had never changed the diaper. 63 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,679 Speaker 1: I never really held a baby. They had to show 64 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: us in the hospital, how to hold him. They're like 65 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: hold the back of his neck and is but you know, 66 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 1: it was just a total shift from the moment that 67 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: he was born, and I felt like I had to 68 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: take a crash course and being a mom. I remember 69 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 1: in the hospital, I didn't sleep those first two nights 70 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: because I was like, how do I give him a bath? 71 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: What does this mean? How do I feed? I was 72 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: trying to breastfeed in the hospital. It was just so 73 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: much coming at me at once that I had no 74 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: clue what I was doing. And so I think I 75 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: really just had a hundred and eighty degree shift of 76 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: who I thought I was and what I was capable of, 77 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: which was cool because I was like, yes, I can 78 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: function on three hours of sleep, not for the rest 79 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: of my life, but I can do it for this period. 80 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: So in a way, it was inspiring to be like 81 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: I can push myself to this edge, which I think 82 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: part definitely is I love your stories like this because 83 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I think people, I think that this is more common 84 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: than we pretend it to be. Like I was a 85 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: huge career nanny before I was able to just pay 86 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: my bills through actings, and I had changed a shipload 87 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: of diapers. But I actually don't think that's most people's story. 88 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: Maybe some people have a lot of siblings, but I 89 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: also think there's a lot of people like you and Dan, 90 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: who were like, um wait what Yeah, once you guys 91 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: had decided that you wanted to have a family, was 92 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 1: your fertility journey easy? Was it complicated? Was it different 93 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: than what you had thought it was going to be. 94 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: I think it was about close to a year of trying. 95 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: But you know, what we did was as like opulation strips, 96 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,679 Speaker 1: which were amazing because then you're like, I'm not wasting time, 97 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,720 Speaker 1: not that having sex is great, Like you knew when 98 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: you were you were ready to go, and so we 99 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: get stuck with those. And I had a couple of 100 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: other friends that said that worked for them, And yeah, 101 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: it was really lucky that it was fairly easy. Once 102 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: I got off the birth control and that had to 103 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: get out of my system, rands had become regular again. 104 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: So yeah, it was about a year. And I remember 105 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: I had gone to my O B G I N 106 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,600 Speaker 1: And was like, are we having a problem? Like it 107 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: is something, and he's like, give it a year, like 108 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: a solid year, and then we can talk. And it 109 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: was like just like you said, almost to like the month. 110 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: For some people, it sounds like you were okay with 111 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: that timeline, and for some people that's really long. That's 112 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: twelve cycles of trying and twelve periods that come in 113 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 1: where you may probably be pretty disappointed and hormonal if 114 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: you are actively trying. But it sounds like you didn't. 115 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: You were okay with the year. I was okay. I 116 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 1: was here because I was children. I don't know like 117 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: I needed as much time as possible. I will just 118 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 1: say I was like in love with kind of being 119 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: a selfish person, and I knew what was gonna be 120 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: on my plate. I knew that when I became a mom, 121 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: I was gonna want to dive in fully. So I 122 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: was kind of like, I want to enjoy this and 123 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: when it happens, and if we have to cross this 124 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: road for in fertility, which I know can be very hard, 125 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: then we'll get there. But I was just on the 126 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: journey wanting to take it as it came. So yeah, 127 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: so I I was a year was okay. Sometimes I 128 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: co host Ryan Seacrest, and I feel in for Kelly 129 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: and I always and like, Ryan, do you want to 130 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 1: have kids? And because I talked to everybody about what 131 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: I do. And he's just like, I think I'm too 132 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: selfish for that. I don't think he's wrong, like I think. 133 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: I think that is a huge thing where you are 134 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: not the number one in your life anymore. Part of 135 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: the struggle for me has been even when I am alone, 136 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: right am doing something that's for myself or focus, I'm 137 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: still thinking about him. I'm still like, what's the eating 138 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: it's he has he pooped today? Is he taking a 139 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: good nap? What do I want to make him for dinner? 140 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: Like it's just forever, for the rest of my life, 141 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: as far as I know, my brain will always be 142 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: shifted towards another person. And I think I realized that. 143 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: But yeah, you're just it's just a complete shift from 144 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 1: only having to think about yourself and your husband and 145 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: other people. Obviously, like I'm not a total narcissist, um, 146 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: but yeah, no, but it is the most hugest priority shift. 147 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: I mean, I would say even my husband and I 148 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: married for a long time before I got pregnant, like 149 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: he still wasn't ahead of me. I mean, I love 150 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: him and we have a great relationship, but like, truly, 151 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: no one was ahead of me until I had my 152 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: son in the way that you're saying, like, for the 153 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: rest of time, your brain is always a little bit elsewhere, 154 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: so you end up getting pregnant when you read the 155 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: test strip or you were late for your period, were 156 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: you tell me how you felt. I remember it so 157 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: vividly because I was out with girlfriends that day and 158 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: they both my girlfriends had children or have children, and 159 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, that period is late, and 160 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: they're like, you need to you guys are trying. You 161 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: should go home and take a pregnancy test. And I 162 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: was like, you're right. So I stopped and I took one. 163 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: And it's so funny because I just remember I took it. 164 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: It was positive, and I just a panic attack, like 165 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I just got super hot. Remember I like, I'm but 166 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: I was wearing this blouse buttons. I unbuttoned all the 167 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: buttons and was like fanning out, like just bra and 168 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: open shirt. I I remember I called my doctor right 169 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: away and I was like, I'm I'm pregnant, and I 170 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: don't know like when I need to come see you, 171 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: and they're like, calm down, They're like, you need to 172 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: wait until you're at like an eight weeks. But I 173 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: remember my husband and were supposed to go to sushi 174 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: that night, and it was like a really hard to 175 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 1: get reservation whatever. He was running late. He calls and 176 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: he's like, I'm outside, just we'll go to dinner. We'll 177 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: make the reservation. And I call him and I was like, 178 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: I don't think we should go to sushi, and I 179 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: think you need to come inside, and so he what 180 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 1: the fun is going on? I just show him. I 181 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: show him the test trip and I just remember his 182 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: face like he just lit up and I started crying. 183 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: But I was like, this is really bad. And I 184 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I'm crying for the right 185 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: reasons right now, Like I'm a little freaked out. I 186 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: think that's really relatable. I had a panic attack when 187 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: my husband proposed, like hyper ventilating. I had a full 188 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: on never cried so hard. Was not ready for change. 189 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know if I should do this. I felt 190 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: I don't know what ready feels like. And I think 191 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: that it's so important as we're talking. You didn't know 192 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 1: you were ready. You didn't know you were ready the 193 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: whole year you were trying. You didn't know you were 194 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: ready or wanted this. When you got the positive test strip. 195 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: I get that that is a very real reaction for 196 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: a lot of people that they may feel like, oh 197 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: should I shouldn't be I shouldn't feel this way, I 198 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: should feel grateful, or I should feel excited or whatever. 199 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: But it's so much more complicated than that. I was 200 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: completely freaked out, and I just kind of feeling that 201 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,200 Speaker 1: that's how it's going to have to be. It was 202 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: just gonna have to happen, and I was gonna have 203 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: to like, I needed those nine months of being pregnant 204 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: to work through all the feelings of what's going to 205 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: be Like Obviously, excitement was a huge part of that, 206 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,839 Speaker 1: but also fear am I gonna be okay? And who 207 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: am I? And loss of identity and how am I 208 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: gonna work? I was similar to you. I didn't grow 209 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: up like really ever picturing myself being a mom. Like 210 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: I knew I wanted to be an actor. It was 211 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: like the number one driving force. How was your pregnancy experience? 212 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we was Madison pregnant at the same time 213 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: or different times? Defferend. I think the episode where I 214 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,079 Speaker 1: say I'm pregnant I was the finale of season four 215 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: and I was six months pregnant, so we are hiding it. 216 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: And then that was our last episode, and then I 217 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,959 Speaker 1: had been and then when we started filming again, I 218 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: was wearing a belly. So wow. So you were pregnant 219 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: for like ever in real life and on the show 220 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: two years of being feeling pregnant. Did your real pregnancy 221 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 1: super inform Madison's pregnancy for you? I definitely was like, oh, 222 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: this is great because I can remember, like since memory, 223 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: remember how things feel. I remember I had a scene 224 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 1: in the first episode of season five when I was 225 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 1: pregnant and it was like I had to get out 226 00:10:58,559 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: of the car. And the first time I got out 227 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: the car, I just got out of a car and 228 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: I was like, no, wait. I was like, this isn't 229 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 1: how a pregnant woman gets out of the car. Like 230 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: it's a thing to get out of the car. So 231 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: I was like, you can't use that. Take get into 232 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: it right. And it was definitely helpful as an actor 233 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: too to know what that felt like, because I don't 234 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: think it's something that you can really know until you're 235 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 1: feeling that weight and what it's like to carry around. 236 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,839 Speaker 1: I agree, I had played pregnant people before I was 237 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: actually pregnant. I was like, oh, I did that terribly. 238 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: How was your pregnancy? Were you super sick? Did you 239 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 1: feel great? Was it hard for you to be on 240 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: national television hiding a pregnancy? Did you feel like body stuff? 241 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: Did you feel insecure about that? I had a really 242 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 1: mild pregnancy. I would say I had a lot of 243 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: food aversions. I ate like a toddler honestly, Like I 244 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: only wanted peanut butter and jelly mac and cheese, cheese 245 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: case dias, and then I would make myself like a 246 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: protein shake every morning just to make sure I was 247 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: getting everything I needed that. I was like, I couldn't 248 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:02,439 Speaker 1: touch vegetables really like in anything healthy. I couldn't either barf. 249 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: I would have two bagels a day like I was like, 250 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: I can have cheese andwhere like that is it? Those 251 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 1: are the food groups. I don't want to smell a broccoli, 252 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: Like if I see kale, I'm gonna fucking like. There's 253 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: no salad, there was no soup, there was no raw vegetables, 254 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: and no there was I just wasn't into any of it. 255 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: I was like, is this okay? Oh yeah, you're fine, 256 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: You're fine. My o B who has been on this 257 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: podcast had that threw up every day for nine months 258 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: and all she ate was like four saltines and Seagrim's 259 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,680 Speaker 1: ginger ale and her baby is like a fucking seven 260 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: years old and fine. So that's great that you had 261 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: a mild pregnancy. Did you have any Hollywood body ship 262 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: come up for you while shooting or did you feel 263 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: really good in your body? I felt more like I 264 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: wanted to just embrace the moment. And I think for me, 265 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,839 Speaker 1: a little bit of the anxiety was I wasn't eating healthy, 266 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: so I was kind of like this, okay, is he 267 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: gaining weight? And the at the end he was what's 268 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: it called? You like, Oh, it's called I had the 269 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: same thing it's called he wasn't growing anymore on the inside. 270 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: They induced, so I was induced at thirty eight weeks, 271 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: so it's basically full term. But I was fine with because, honestly, 272 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: one of my big fears what if I don't know 273 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: when I'm in labor and I stay home too long 274 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: and can't get there. Did you know that you wanted 275 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: a medicated assisted labor. So my big thing with pregnancy, 276 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: just to add this to the bit, was pandemic. It 277 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: was March of and I was he was born of May. 278 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 1: So that was those two months, like we're the stressful 279 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,319 Speaker 1: part of my pregnancy and everything else up until then 280 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: was relatively easy. But I had a duela and we 281 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: talked about do you want to do natural whatever? And 282 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: I was always under the you know, impression that I 283 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 1: just wanted see how it goes. I don't want to 284 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,719 Speaker 1: cut myself off and say no, I'm not going to 285 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 1: use an EPIDERL and I didn't want to say yes, 286 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to use it right away. That was always 287 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: my philosophy with it. That's why I think you're such 288 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: a good mom. I just feel like like you're a realist. 289 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 1: This is what it is like. You're know, I'm fucking 290 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: into it. Yeah, but a lot of people come on 291 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,720 Speaker 1: your and they're like the plans or the dreams or 292 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 1: the vibes. I mean, I just love that you're not 293 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: really like in here setting up all of your candles. 294 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: I was not. I mean, so my doula couldn't be 295 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: there because of COVID, and she did give me a 296 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: very sweet little package of candles, but I didn't use 297 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: them like little lights, little electric little candles with a 298 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: little flicker yes, yes, yes, some string lights and some affirmations, 299 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: and I was just no, don't care, don't care, don't 300 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: need it, Let's just do this. You did give me 301 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 1: a lavender, satual thing that I remember sniffing a lot 302 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 1: like this. How I'm going to stay calm? I don't know, 303 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: but I liked it. I just remember like cuddling with it. 304 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: So you have a planned scheduled induction. Were you afraid? 305 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 1: Were you excited? How did you feel? I was relieved 306 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: to know when it was happening. I was a little 307 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: freaked out that they said he wasn't growing anymore. I 308 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: wasn't really sure what that meant in the full you know, 309 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: I was, I guess he can have a small head 310 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: and a huge body, like are his organs? Like? What 311 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: is he gonna look like? So that breaking out a 312 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: little bit. And then COVID on top of it all. 313 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: I was going into a hospital. It was like, am 314 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: I going to get COVID while I'm at this hospital? 315 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: So there was a lot of that going on. But 316 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: I think I feel better as a person when I 317 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: when I'm knowledgeable in an area. When I had him 318 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: and I didn't know anything, I just wanted to learn 319 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: as much as I could, and so that's how I 320 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: approached my labor As with the doulah, I just wanted 321 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: all the information. I wanted to know the options. I 322 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: wanted to know what potosa did if you were induced 323 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: with potos, and I wanted to know other ways of 324 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: being induced. I didn't need to go into the hospital. 325 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 1: They tried to put like an ivy in right away, 326 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: but I knew that I could say, just get like 327 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: the HEP block ready, I don't want the ivy. I 328 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: don't want to be on fluids because I was going 329 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: to be there for a while. So I liked having 330 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: all that information and just made me feel more comfortable, 331 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: feeling like I could be an advocate for myself in 332 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: more of a way. How did you gather all this information? 333 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: Was your dula, your number one person or your obe 334 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: or did you just google a lot? Ship I definitely 335 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: google everything. I wish I could look at my Google history. 336 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: It would probably be like a spastic, spastic random person. 337 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: But yeah, I read books. My duela was helpful. I'd 338 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: ask my my ob questions and yeah, a lot of research. 339 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: I think that's just how I am. I like to know. 340 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: I like to become like an expert in like, whatever 341 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: is in front of me, life, babies, whatever? Did you 342 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: have to get the brain scratch your COVID test before 343 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: you delivered? I did know. They said they stopped. They 344 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: stopped doing that. I had to get that like fucking 345 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: horrible COVID test that goes all the way up to 346 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: your brain. I was like, really on top of the labor, 347 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: I'm about to do COVID. They'd be like, sorry, I know, 348 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: I mean, it's ridiculous. I don't know how long was 349 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: your labor? Almost twenty four our we'll not have active labor. 350 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: So I went in. I was zero centimeters and then 351 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: part of my plan or knowing my options, they wanted 352 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 1: to start me on PTOs and I was like, I 353 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: don't want to start that way? Can we do? I 354 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 1: think it's called the fully balloon, So I was like, 355 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. I had a fully balloon, to 356 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: which I then called Scott fucking Fully and I was like, 357 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: what the fuck is this? Is this medieval torture device 358 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: that is a balloon that is put into my cervix 359 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: and slowly blown up to four centimeters and then pulled up. 360 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: Is this from you? Someone in your fu family and 361 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: he stot fully had something to do with the fully balloon. 362 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,479 Speaker 1: He didn't he did it, but he laughed, Um, so 363 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 1: you did the fully balloon. So yeah. So they started 364 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: with this a pository thing, and then I got to 365 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: one centimeter and then they put that in and then 366 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: I even remember my ob Juan came that next morning 367 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 1: and I was like, you you haven't even done potoson yet. 368 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 1: And I was at like four centimeters and I was 369 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: like no. I was like, I just the balloon. He goes, oh, okay, great. 370 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: Once I got to four centimeters, that just got me 371 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 1: into labor. And then I labored for a couple hours 372 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: and then I said enough of this, give me me 373 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: up a dartle. I kept being like, is it going 374 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: to get worse than this? Is it? Like I couldn't tell, 375 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: Like it was I at the low level of pain 376 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: right now, it's hard to gauge, Like I was like, 377 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: I can handle this, but barely right, and like I 378 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 1: don't want to do this for a hundred thousand hours. 379 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: You're going to get to the point where you can't 380 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,760 Speaker 1: get the epidural because you had to be able to 381 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: hold still. But I was having contractions, And honestly, it's 382 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 1: funny because they wrote this into this is Us that 383 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: I was more terrified of the needle than like anything. 384 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: I had this whole thing where it's like I don't 385 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 1: want the resident doing it, I want the attending so 386 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: which is so stupid, because I was like, the resident 387 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,199 Speaker 1: has probably done more of these recently. I know, but 388 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 1: a lot of people do feel for you, guys listening. 389 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: If you're at a teaching hospital where you give birth, 390 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: it means that there are times where the epidural or 391 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 1: whoever checks you might not be an attending doctor, might 392 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: be an intern, or it might be a resident whatever. 393 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: So you can state if that makes you uncomfortable that, 394 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 1: like you had just done that, you only want the attending. 395 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: So this is the other crazy part. The day I 396 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: gave labor was the night of the Black Lives Matter 397 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: protests through Los Angeles, and so I was literally looking 398 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 1: out the window at Beverly Boulevard with people protestinting down 399 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: the street. It was such a crazy point. What people 400 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 1: that don't know in Los Angeles that night things started 401 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: being burned around the city. There's a big shopping area 402 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: called the Grove, and I think Nordstrom's was burned, and 403 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,199 Speaker 1: then a couple of popular restaurants. So after I had 404 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: given birth, the whole postpartum wing smelled like smoke, and 405 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 1: every mom was like, get me out of here, and 406 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: they're like, there's no whe else for you to go. Wow. Yeah, 407 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,879 Speaker 1: the energy in the city during that was really powerful. 408 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: It was really like everyone was boarding up their stores, 409 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 1: down the hospital. I remember they had a police standing 410 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: at the entrances just to make sure nothing happened inside. 411 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 1: It was crazy. Holy shit, did you feel so much? 412 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: And you were like, here, I am in COVID. My 413 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 1: duel is not allowed in, but my husband did and 414 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: I'm laboring and the world is literally on fire. I 415 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: was on fire. Ben came out was fine, but he 416 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: had low blood sugar, so they were quickly like trying 417 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: to keep him out of the nick. You. They were like, 418 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 1: we have to give him some formula. So we were 419 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: dealing with that and they had wheeled him into the nursery, 420 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: but I couldn't go because of COVID. So I was like, 421 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: two hours after giving birth looking through the window standing 422 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: there looking at him. Oh my god, did you push 423 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 1: for a long time? Was it super arduous. No, actually, 424 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: I was lucky. I pushed for thirty minutes. It was great. 425 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: That was amazing. Did you feel immediate connection or did 426 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 1: you feel out of I felt totally out of body. 427 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 1: How did you feel? I have a vivid memory of 428 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 1: them lifting him up out of me and seeing him 429 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 1: like in the light, kind of like a movie like 430 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: I remember seeing him being with seven and they put 431 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: him on me, and then again never held a baby before, 432 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: I like didn't. I was afraid to touch him. Yeah, 433 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: you were like, I don't know what to do. I 434 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: don't know what to do. He's on me, I don't 435 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: know what's happening. He's covered in ship, not poop. Some 436 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 1: babies are covered in poop, but he's covered in all 437 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 1: this crazy ship. Yeah. So I was afraid to pick 438 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: him up, and literally I was like, what does he 439 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 1: look like? What does he look like? And then my 440 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 1: doctor was stitching me up and he's like hold on, 441 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 1: and he like picked him up for me and like 442 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 1: positioned himself. I can see, Oh, Caitlin, I love this. 443 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 1: And my husband's like he looks like a mime. Like 444 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 1: he had like these big red lips, and then he 445 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: was just white because he was covered in that what's 446 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 1: it called, like covered in all that? So he just 447 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: had these like big red lips with his white face. 448 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so adorable. He looks like a mime. 449 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 1: Oh buddy. And then in the testing that they do, 450 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,400 Speaker 1: did you get like the golden hours what they call 451 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: it for those listening they leave the room and let 452 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: you have like skin to skin for an hour with 453 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 1: your baby, or did they do testing right away and 454 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: know the blood sugar and took him away right away? 455 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: I got that hour. That was sick something I said 456 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,959 Speaker 1: I wanted because he was small. They had pediatricians in 457 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: the room. How small was he? He's five pounds seven ounces. 458 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,479 Speaker 1: They were like being overly cautious. But it wasn't like 459 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 1: he was like teach. I was kind with and I 460 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: appreciate it. And so they did the you know, the 461 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 1: initial checks and everything, and I think he was fine, 462 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 1: and then they laid him on me and I got 463 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: that hour. I remember them trying to breastfeed, which was 464 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,199 Speaker 1: more painful by the way. Then the labor was the 465 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:26,399 Speaker 1: nurse like squeezing my boob trying to get into latch, 466 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 1: and I was like, I just delivered a baby. And 467 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 1: now you're squeezing my boob like a Mamograham lactation consultants 468 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,959 Speaker 1: in the hospital and in general, all the ones I view, 469 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,679 Speaker 1: they worked with so many boobs that it's just so 470 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: matter of fact to them and for us, we're like, 471 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 1: oh my god. Literally, no one's ever touched my nipple 472 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: like this, like ever, even if you're someone that likes 473 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: rough sex or whatever. It's a crazy way for your 474 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: nipple to be handled by someone you've never met. Yeah, 475 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: And I remember just saying to her, I'm sorry, can 476 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: I just have a moment to try to like figure 477 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: this out on my own for a second. I love you, 478 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: Like I just like they didn't give me a second 479 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 1: to try to do it on my own. They were 480 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: just like here and but yeah, I don't remember like 481 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: when things they must have done, like a blood sugar 482 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,199 Speaker 1: test on him sometime in that hour and realized that 483 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: his blood sugar was low, because quickly they went to 484 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: formula and then I was like, give him whatever formula 485 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 1: he needs. I didn't care to give him a milkshake 486 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,640 Speaker 1: if that helps. Like, yeah, you were like, just keep 487 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 1: him whatever the funk we need to do, just get 488 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: it done. Yeah, so it was a wave of being 489 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: calm and then panic, and then calm and then panic. 490 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,919 Speaker 1: How is your postpartum? It seems like it was. Really 491 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: it toughened your ship up. You were like, wow, like 492 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: I don't need to care for myself with gloves, like 493 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: I may have postpartum. I think that was what I 494 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 1: was least prepared for. And I feel like that's what's 495 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: not talked about as much. Is it really is? Like 496 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: they say it's like the fourth trimester, it truly is. 497 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: It took me a solid three months to feel like 498 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: somewhat normal in this new normal. There was no way 499 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 1: around it. I was just functioning on autopilot, like highly emotional. 500 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: It's funny because actually one of my really good friends 501 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,960 Speaker 1: is from South Korea, and she delivered in South Korea, 502 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: and I remember there they have a totally different philosophy 503 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: with postpartum. Is they nurture the mother just as much 504 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: as they nurture the child. And remember her calling me 505 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,680 Speaker 1: I she had just given birth and I was trying 506 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: to get in touch with her and it was like 507 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: three days later and she was like, oh sorry. I 508 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: was like, I'm getting a massage right now, and I 509 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 1: was like what she was, Yeah, I'm at this place 510 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 1: with UM with Ezra. It's like a I don't know 511 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,479 Speaker 1: exactly what it is. The only way I can think 512 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: about it. It's like this hotel where there's nurses and 513 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: massage therapist and like acupuncturist on the fucking reel that 514 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 1: book called UM. It's something with the number forty in it. 515 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: I can't remember, but I'll link to it. But in 516 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 1: Asian cultures, I don't think it's Korean. But in Chinese cultures, 517 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: it's part of the family's job, which I'm sure is 518 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: super hard during COVID. But it's the family's job to 519 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 1: nourish the mother and the trauma that her body and 520 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,680 Speaker 1: mind and hormones have gone through. And we spend far 521 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,359 Speaker 1: too much time I did on the pregnancy and on 522 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 1: the labor. And when we get home, I was a 523 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 1: fucking disaster. I peered. I was laugh crying, peeing on 524 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 1: my wood floor, trying not to pee on my white couch. 525 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: Like I was like, such a disaster, Did you have help? 526 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 1: I was supposed to go back to work potentially like 527 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,199 Speaker 1: four weeks after birth, depending on the saving grace of 528 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: COVID was that we were pushed for a couple more months. 529 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: I had that time, luckily, but we flew my mom 530 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: out because again we don't know what we were doing. 531 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: Were like, some responsible adult needs to be in this 532 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: household to make sure that we don't harm our child 533 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: in any way. So we flew my mom out. This 534 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 1: was early days of COVID. I was remember being like, 535 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 1: you can't take your mask off on that plane. I 536 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:56,679 Speaker 1: was like, you cannot drink. I was like, you need 537 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: to hydrate the day before. Hey, I like it. I 538 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 1: think this is a great plan. And I was like, 539 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: you cannot touch anything. She did it all and was 540 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 1: amazing and really helped take care of me and make 541 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 1: sure I was fed, and and Dan to take care 542 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: of both of us because we were both doing this together. 543 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: So that was definitely a comfort and helpful. But I mean, 544 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: it's still I'm doing the nights, I'm breastfeeding. I'm trying 545 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: to figure out breastfeeding. He had a lip tie and 546 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,720 Speaker 1: a tongue tie, so that whole journey was a hot mess. 547 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 1: Did he have to get that little surgery, I forget 548 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 1: what it's called. It was really bad. So even if 549 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: I didn't want to breastfeed, it was like something that 550 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 1: could probably affect him later in life. So we're like, 551 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: let's just do it and and then I'll try to 552 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 1: keep breastfeeding. So he did that at three months. I 553 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: think supposely, it's not that big of a deal, right, 554 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: It's like a laser or like a cut. Yeah, so 555 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: it's you go to the dentist, like a pediatric dentist, 556 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 1: and it's a laser. They take the parents out of 557 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 1: the room for it because I think it's your lips. 558 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 1: It believe a lot, but it's quick thirty seconds. And 559 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 1: then you have to do these stretches though, because it 560 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: can reattach, so you have to put coconut oil on 561 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 1: your finger and five times a day like rub it 562 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: with the reattaches. I've had friends where they had they 563 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 1: did this and then it reattached and they had to 564 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 1: do it again, and I was like, I don't want 565 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: to go through this again. But yes, I just felt 566 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 1: completely unprepared for postpartum and breastfeeding. And I always thought 567 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: breastfeeding was like, oh, maybe a little inconvenient, and that 568 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,919 Speaker 1: was the whole debate. But I was like, no, it's 569 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,679 Speaker 1: for something so natural. It was so unnatural for me. 570 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think it is for everybody, for 571 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: something that's supposed to just yeah, I had no idea 572 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: what I was doing, and I'm convinced the only time 573 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,400 Speaker 1: it's ever been natural is like thousands of years ago 574 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: when we were living in villages and there was like 575 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,719 Speaker 1: a ton of other naked breasts out women around you 576 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: who were also doing it, who could show you exactly 577 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,400 Speaker 1: what the flying hell you were doing. But us doing 578 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: it alone in a bubble. It's really hard and like 579 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,119 Speaker 1: the most rewarding because it was so hard. Once we 580 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: got into our group, I was doing zoom sessions with 581 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: lactation consultants because again I don't want anyone near him. 582 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: This is COVID. Remember my husband taking the computer and 583 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 1: trying to like position it so that the light see 584 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 1: your nipple, see your lash through zoom. Oh god, yeah, 585 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: Shane went right out the window. Yeah. I was bleeding 586 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 1: all the time. One time, he he literally likes spit up. 587 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,119 Speaker 1: It looked like strawberry milk because he was getting blood 588 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: from me. And it was like two in the morning 589 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: and I see this like projectile strawberry milk coming out 590 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: of him, and I was like, it's bleeding. And I'm bleeding. 591 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,400 Speaker 1: Who's bleeding here? Good on you, though, if you're someone 592 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: that doesn't like fluids or liquids or body parts or 593 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: any of it, it gets real real quick in the 594 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 1: postpartum period. I'm just like, there's your in diapers, there's 595 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: liquids coming out of stuff, you're trying to breastfeed, there's blood, 596 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: there's a fissure. I had both my nipples like got 597 00:28:47,360 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: cut in nappy. It sounds like Dan was super involved, 598 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 1: which is awesome, and COVID was horrible, but then also 599 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 1: a gift because you really couldn't work like you you 600 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 1: both had to really be there and do these zoom 601 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: sessions together and like really bond with your mom and 602 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: all that stuff. Can you speak on that? Yeah? I 603 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,960 Speaker 1: think I felt super lucky that I didn't have the 604 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: pressures of having to go back into work, because I 605 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: was really stressed about what that was gonna look like. Again, 606 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: a girl that usually gets eight hours of sleep, I 607 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 1: was like, how do I do three hours of sleep 608 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 1: and then Mike up at five to go to hair 609 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: and makeup and then film all day and pump and 610 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,000 Speaker 1: figure so it I don't think I would have been 611 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 1: able to breast theater and handle that if I was working. 612 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: But it was amazing because in a way, we were 613 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 1: home all of the time and I wasn't missing anything. 614 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: We just got to be a family and soak it 615 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: all in. So that was an upside, decided being terrified 616 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 1: of being out in the world. How has your workload? 617 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: How is it now? Do you guys? Do you feel 618 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: like you're in a flow? We have moments my husband 619 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: and I where were sixty forty adams shooting in Budapest 620 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: right now? So I'm like really doing my work. But 621 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,080 Speaker 1: then there's been times where I've been shooting and he 622 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: really has to step up. So I'd say we're very 623 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: fifty fifty and sometimes. But you and Dan both have 624 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: pretty fucking crazy schedules. How do you guys split responsibilities? Yeah, 625 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 1: we both work. My schedule is the more inconsistent one. 626 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: Some days I'm shooting, some days I'm off. We always 627 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: try to have the mornings together and the evenings together 628 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 1: as a family. That's great. Yeah, and then through the day, 629 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 1: I mean, even if I'm not on set, I'm usually 630 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: writing or doing something else or meetings or whatever. But yeah, 631 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: it's we both want to be there and it's important 632 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 1: to us and we try to prioritize it as much 633 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: as possible. Obviously, when you have work obligations and stuff, 634 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 1: you have to do those. But I'm super lucky to 635 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 1: have a very involved partner. And also you have a 636 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: childcare support system, right you Like, do you have childcare 637 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 1: growing up or did your mom work? No? I mean 638 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 1: it's funny because I grew up in Ohio and we 639 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: have a nanny. He was amazing and he loves her 640 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: and it makes me so happy that when she comes 641 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: in the morning, he's excited to see her, and it 642 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 1: definitely takes that like stress away from me. But now 643 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: I grew up, I didn't know anybody that had a nanny. 644 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,479 Speaker 1: Maybe there's like daycare, but it was a lot of 645 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: stay at home moms. My mom was a stay at 646 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: home mom, so it was a completely foreign idea to me. 647 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: But I knew that working is important for me and 648 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 1: I didn't want to have to give that up. In 649 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 1: a way, it's the sacrifice you have to make. I 650 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: had a very similar story. My mom was a stay 651 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: at home mom and I was and it was never 652 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: even a thought. I was like, no, I'm gonna have 653 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: to get like full time childcare or whatever we decide 654 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 1: to do, because working is a value of mine and 655 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: I feel like we're really lucky to do something that 656 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 1: we love to do. I'm actually okay with the mom guilt, 657 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: Like surprisingly, I have other fucked up ship, but like, 658 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: how are you with it? Do you feel bad about it? 659 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: Do you feel bad that you're working? Like some women 660 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 1: have a really rough time. I don't know. That's amazing, 661 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: and I want to hear why, like help me. I 662 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know why because I have other ship. 663 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I say things to him like I 664 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: when he has a hard time that I'm leaving, I 665 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 1: say to him, I'm really lucky that I get to 666 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: go to a job that I love, and I hope 667 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: you get that one day. I think right now, I'm 668 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: like trying to find ways to be feel involved when 669 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 1: I can't be there. If I'm on set, I'm usually 670 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: okay because it's very active. My head is completely into 671 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: the scene and what I have to do that day. 672 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 1: It sucks sometimes when you're wrapping and it's six thirty 673 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 1: and I know he goes to bed at seven, and 674 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss him, and I hadn't seen him that morning, 675 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 1: and wow, I'm gonna go a whole day without seeing 676 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: my child. This is bizarre, But I think it's a 677 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 1: lot for me, Like when I'm not on set, but 678 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 1: I have other things to do, and I work from 679 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: home a lot, so it's a lot of hear him 680 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 1: in the other room and you're like, oh, I should 681 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: just stop what I'm doing right now and hang out 682 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 1: with him, And what am I really doing that needs 683 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: like my time and my attention right now. But I 684 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: think for him to he operates very well on a schedule, 685 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: Like he knows our nanny is at night. Babies love 686 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: route babies love, and I try to mess it up 687 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,959 Speaker 1: and be like, nope, mommy is staying with you till eleven. 688 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: He's like he breaks them out more. I feel like 689 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: this his mom gelt something that never leaves. I don't know, 690 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 1: but I can't be there. I try to like make 691 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: some meals for him so that I know that I 692 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 1: had some part of his day. Yeah, we were talking 693 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: about that in the trailer, like you love to prepare 694 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,360 Speaker 1: food for your son, which I think is such a 695 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 1: great way that you're expressing your love when you can't 696 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: be there. I feel like there's a real part of 697 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 1: you that's like, look, if I can't be there, it 698 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: means so much to me that I'm able to like 699 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,479 Speaker 1: make these choices for you and know that love and 700 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 1: nutrition is going into your food from me. One of 701 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 1: the things, actually, when before kids, that I was always 702 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: excited by I would follow these moms on Instagram that 703 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 1: made like the cute little lunches. Like I wasn't pregnant, 704 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,280 Speaker 1: I wasn't anything, but I just was like so into 705 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: this thing of moms making lunches for kids and then 706 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: them cooking with the kids, And so that was something 707 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: I was always really excited about doing with Ben. And 708 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,640 Speaker 1: we started kind of like we'll make granola bars and 709 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 1: so he'll help me dump in the ingredients and stir it. 710 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 1: I love I love doing that with him. That is lovely. 711 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: I think you were saying in the trailer, you were like, 712 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 1: I love making him like smoothie. You find your lane, 713 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: like the things that you love to do of how 714 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: you express that you're caring for your kid. How are 715 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: you feeling about your mom identity now that you're like 716 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: he's going to be too In May, does it feel 717 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 1: like you're coming back to yourself, how are you doing? 718 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,760 Speaker 1: Thank you for asking? As I cry, um, I feel 719 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: I think it's a new normal. I think I think 720 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: I'm trying to hold onto things that were important to 721 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: me pre baby. Pre pregnancy. I've started reading books again, 722 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: like I've always loved reading, and so I've tried to 723 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,879 Speaker 1: make that a priority where i can read before bed 724 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 1: or in the morning or at some point. But yeah, 725 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,280 Speaker 1: there's no way around it. Your identity is definitely shifted. 726 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 1: And like we said in the beginning, even if you're 727 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: and there's a part of your brain that still fixated 728 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,279 Speaker 1: on what's my baby doing right now? Are they okay? 729 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 1: So I think it's more just like making peace with 730 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,400 Speaker 1: that and accepting it and allowing yourself to go with 731 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 1: the flow a bit. It is a new identity. I'm 732 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,720 Speaker 1: a mom now. I wasn't a mom before. That's another 733 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 1: hyphen on on who I am. Yeah, it's evolving. Any 734 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 1: advice to any new mom is listening. Advice gods are 735 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 1: so much. Go with your instincts and trust your gut 736 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 1: and ultimately what's right for yourself and your family and 737 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 1: your baby. I think it's good to gather information and 738 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 1: to take advice, but I don't think. I think that's 739 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,439 Speaker 1: all it has to be. Take what you want, leave 740 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,200 Speaker 1: the right. Like I think if there was one way 741 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: to raise a child, and there'd be one book to 742 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,279 Speaker 1: how to raise a child, but there isn't because there's 743 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,399 Speaker 1: so many different philosophies on how to do it, and 744 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 1: everyone's families look different, and so I think that's the 745 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 1: best thing that I can think of, is to just 746 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 1: trust your gut and to do what works best for 747 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,759 Speaker 1: your family, and to not judge yourself for what you 748 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,360 Speaker 1: need to do to make it work. What is the 749 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: biggest lesson that you've learned this week in mothering? This 750 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 1: week is well, Ben hasn't pooped in two days, by 751 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: the way, so that's all we're on, Like poopgate right now? 752 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 1: Is the baby going to poop? Have you ever been 753 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: so obsessed with someone's digestion in your entire life? And 754 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: has your happiness ever just completely ridden on the fact 755 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,640 Speaker 1: that did my child take a dump today? I know 756 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: it's insane and it's all we care about, Like before 757 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,120 Speaker 1: eight am, have the dogs pooped? Has he pooped? Has 758 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 1: everyone pooped in this house? I need to know that 759 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 1: is a very important part of your health, well being, 760 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,840 Speaker 1: mental stability is about taking it dump. There's nothing worse 761 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,799 Speaker 1: than when you've gone days without taking out. So, yeah, 762 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: you're sad that your son backed up. He's gonna poop 763 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,360 Speaker 1: and you can have a glass of wine when he 764 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 1: does finish this sentence. Parenthood is Parenthood is a ride, 765 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 1: for sure. That's what we haven't had. That is not 766 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 1: one we've had. And I agree and like it. God, Caitlin, 767 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,879 Speaker 1: you're such a good mom and grounded. I'm telling you, 768 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,680 Speaker 1: like you have an energy about you that is great 769 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,840 Speaker 1: for being a mom. Look for Caitlin on all the 770 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: social meds, all the channels, all the things. If you 771 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 1: didn't know, this is us is on and this is 772 00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 1: the most important final um and they get to what, 773 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I forget I'm minute, guys, only for like 774 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,879 Speaker 1: a minute. But it was such a pleasure because all 775 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:43,840 Speaker 1: are true about this cast, which is everyone is so kind, 776 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 1: so supportive. It really felt like a family, and it 777 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 1: was really cool to get to be just a fly 778 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,399 Speaker 1: on the wall um for the week that I got 779 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,120 Speaker 1: to work with you. Guys. April nine and April twenties 780 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 1: six are my two little can eos on this is 781 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,800 Speaker 1: us more than a little cameo. You're like a huge 782 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,319 Speaker 1: part of those episodes. And we have our dance video 783 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,800 Speaker 1: that's going to come out. I'm sure. Oh my god, 784 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:12,799 Speaker 1: that was I'll never forget for the rest of my life. 785 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: That's sterling. Kabe Brown taught me the I keep playing 786 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 1: at the word all the wattle No. I wish you 787 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 1: the best of luck with the final season. And now 788 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 1: you're stuck with me as a friend, and I want 789 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 1: to hang out with you and bed At. We need 790 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,359 Speaker 1: to have play dates. And I can't thank you enough 791 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: for coming on Katie's Grim. Thank you guys so much 792 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: for listening to today's episode. I want to hear from you. 793 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 1: Let's chat questions, comments, concerns. Let me know. You can 794 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 1: always find me at Katie's Crib at Shanda land dot com. 795 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,799 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda land Audio in 796 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,320 Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, 797 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 798 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. M M