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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 3: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.

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Speaker 2: And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling.

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Speaker 1: Railvalry.

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Speaker 3: No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, Revelry.

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Speaker 2: That's good, Oliver Hudson. Yes, why are you? I'm pretty good.

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm just a little bit sad. Oh, Oliver,

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Speaker 2: why are you sad?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: Because it's a little gloomy out today and there's fires

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Speaker 2: in Malibu. Oh that's okay, Oliver. You know, life is interesting,

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Speaker 2: the ups and the and sometimes shit will pass. I know, Oliver.

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Speaker 2: So let's me talking to myself. It just reminded me

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Speaker 2: of something I did in therapy. Oh my god, it

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Speaker 2: was fucking horrible. This is a while back, dealing with

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Speaker 2: you know, daddy issues, dealing with sort of you know whatever,

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Speaker 2: not just daddy issues. Whatever my childhood brought on, you

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Speaker 2: know that then affected my adult life. And know, therapy

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Speaker 2: is good for everyone, even if you're from the insanely

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Speaker 2: fucked up to the you know, the so called normal

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Speaker 2: or not normal. No one's normal. Everyone has their shit.

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Speaker 2: Therapy is probably good for every human being on this planet,

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Speaker 2: but trying to sort of break through something. My therapist

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Speaker 2: made me do this exercise and I was reminded by

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Speaker 2: it by me my little sort of talked myself that

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Speaker 2: I just did. I had to play my current self

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Speaker 2: and then my younger self, my six year old boy,

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Speaker 2: would then talk to my adult self, and I would

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Speaker 2: have to have this conversation with myself as Oliver in

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Speaker 2: the present day and then Oliver as a six year

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Speaker 2: old boy. Now it gets better. I had to switch

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Speaker 2: positions in the couch to talk to myself, so I'd

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Speaker 2: sit on one end. I'd be like, hey, hey, little man,

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Speaker 2: like how you doing, and then move over to the

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Speaker 2: other side of the couch and be like hi, like

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Speaker 2: I'm okay, Like how are you and then move over

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Speaker 2: and like, yeah, you look sad, little buddy, like what's

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Speaker 2: going on? And then I'd switch over and I'd be like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I just don't feel safe and I feel insecure,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I just I wish I had my

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Speaker 2: parents around it. And then I'd switch over and like

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Speaker 2: it's okay. I mean, it was extremely embarrassed, even though

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Speaker 2: it's just myself and my therapist when he said it

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Speaker 2: to me, We're gonna do this exercise, I'm like, no, no, man, like,

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Speaker 2: come on, like, what the fuh? And he made me

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Speaker 2: do it and it was awful, it was it was

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Speaker 2: It's still I think that caused me, That experience caused

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Speaker 2: me to seek out more therapy. Actually, at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, you know, it was more try. That

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Speaker 2: exercise was more traumatizing than you know, my parents splitting up. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: I digress this other thing, the I digress thing. I

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Speaker 2: think I use it right, but I never really know

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Speaker 2: like I digress. It's not I digressed, meaning like I digressed,

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Speaker 2: but I digress. I'm gonna ramble mode. Well, we have

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Speaker 2: some fun guests in the waiting room right now, and uh,

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Speaker 2: very excited to sort of get into the talking about psychology.

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Speaker 2: When we're talking about sort of religion faith number one,

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Speaker 2: but then we're talking about sort of the psychology of

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Speaker 2: what it feels like and why it feels better to

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Speaker 2: basically be one of in this situation. I think three

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Speaker 2: wives to one man. They are from the hit show

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Speaker 2: Sister Wives, and I think we've all probably caught a

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Speaker 2: glimpse of it. It's just such so fascinating. It just

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Speaker 2: speaks to just humanity. How we're all different, we all

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Speaker 2: feel different things, we all love different things, we all,

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Speaker 2: you know, different things make us happy. And it's the

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Speaker 2: beauty of who we are. We're not all one and

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Speaker 2: the same. Let's get into it. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: there's anything off limits. I don't know. We'll see. I'll

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Speaker 2: probably put my foot in my mouth, but that's kind

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Speaker 2: of the fun of listening to this goddamn show. Christine

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Speaker 2: Brown and Janelle Brown and bring them in. Let's talk

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Speaker 2: sister wives. Hello, Janelle, how are you?

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Speaker 1: Oh good? I'm with Maddie and Caleb in Greenville, so

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Speaker 1: in North Carolina because we actually have purchased some property

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Speaker 1: and we are starting a farm next year.

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Speaker 2: So amazing. I've been at Greenville a bunch of times. Actually,

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Speaker 2: have you really?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I used to play in this golf tournament at the

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Speaker 2: BMW golf tournament there, and I played at thorn Blade,

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Speaker 2: and I stayed in the little town there in Greenville.

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Speaker 2: I loved it.

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Speaker 4: Funny, green feels great. It's such a small town. But

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Speaker 4: you have really anything that you want. It's it's cute,

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Speaker 4: cute stuff.

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Speaker 2: And Christine, where are you and.

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Speaker 4: Lehi, Utah, like it's Salt Lake City. It's like, if

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Speaker 4: you see the valley of Salt Lake City, we're like

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Speaker 4: right over the mountain and you should see the insane

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Speaker 4: view I have from my back porch. Mountains is gorgeous.

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Speaker 2: Is that amazing?

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Speaker 4: There? You want to do? You can do and then

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Speaker 4: within an hour from us?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you guys for coming on. This is really fun.

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Speaker 2: I let's just get into it, you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 2: first of all, why are you guys in separate locations?

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Speaker 2: This is all you know, a new experience for me.

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Speaker 2: So are you where? Why are you living in separate places?

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Speaker 2: You know? Where is everybody?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? We lived in flag Staff together, okay, And right

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Speaker 4: after I left Pody, I moved up to Utah. My

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Speaker 4: kids are up there and I just wanted to be

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Speaker 4: up there instead. And flag Staff I don't have a

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Speaker 4: lot of you know, I have good memories with my

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Speaker 4: kids and flag Staff, but no things. I don't want

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Speaker 4: to ever stay there ever again. So I moved to

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Speaker 4: Salt Lake City, Utah, and lived there for a couple,

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Speaker 4: like for a couple of years in that location until

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Speaker 4: I met David and then we moved in together in March.

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Speaker 4: But I'm going to stay in Utah. I love it here.

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Speaker 4: It feels like home. I finally feel like I'm home now. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: there's so many years where we spent wandering and traveling

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Speaker 4: and moving, and I feel like this is home.

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Speaker 2: Now with Cod with Cody, you spent these years travel

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Speaker 2: We moved a.

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Speaker 4: Lot, like I swear it was every few years. Who

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Speaker 4: was I think, just always trying to help our family,

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Speaker 4: be like, get get better financially whatever, And so I

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Speaker 4: feel like we were always just moving or for whatever reasons.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: I one time got mad and I'm like, there's thirteen

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Speaker 4: people in this badly and you only care about one.

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Speaker 4: And that was a while ago. But yeah, so we're

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Speaker 4: just moving a lot. And then we moved. We were

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Speaker 4: in flag Staff for what three years before I left

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Speaker 4: and then like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and then Janelle, what about what about you?

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Speaker 1: After coding and my marriage dissolved, I was in flag

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Speaker 1: Staff for a while, but then I really I was

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Speaker 1: really kind of looking for a piece of property to

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Speaker 1: kind of settle in on. I've always wanted that dream, right,

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Speaker 1: always want a little few acres and a little farm,

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and so my daughter Madison and her husband

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Speaker 1: Caleb were also interested in that. So we started looking

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Speaker 1: all over the country because Caleb has a job that

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Speaker 1: allows him to go different places. But it turned out

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Speaker 1: we found our little piece of heaven or whatever here

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Speaker 1: in North Carolina.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: They're very close to them, so I'm here and that's

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Speaker 1: where I will plant my roots. So Christine was just

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Speaker 1: here last weekend. We still have a lot of family

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Speaker 1: connection and interaction. Our children are all very close. In fact,

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Speaker 1: there is a group text that Christine and I are

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Speaker 1: not part of and they share all the news. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, mom, it was in the text. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not in that text.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, so thank you so much for not putting

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Speaker 4: me in that text. Children. And I did tell them,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, look, if you're going to try and plant

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Speaker 4: something with Truly in the sibling chat, that's great, but

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Speaker 4: can you actually have to tell me? So I plan.

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Speaker 4: They had this whole trip plan to send to Las

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Speaker 4: Vegas one time to go to a concert, and they

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Speaker 4: asked her they could take Truly and then that's the

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Speaker 4: last I heard of it. And then suddenly they're like

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Speaker 4: Truly is like Mom, we're looking tomorrow, blah blah. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: wait what and yeah, it was like right then and there,

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Speaker 4: and we have to make sure she had everything that

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Speaker 4: she needed. I'm like, you guys have got it informed me,

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Speaker 4: you know, just some things like that.

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Speaker 2: So how many kids? How many kids do you guys have?

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Speaker 2: Do you know? How many kids do you have?

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Speaker 1: So I have six?

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, we both have six.

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Speaker 1: But then also Mariah's child, Leo Leon is there in

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Speaker 1: the group as well.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so so the first Mariah is Leon, Like, you don't.

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Speaker 4: Even refer to the name anymore. Really, Leon, Mary's child,

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Speaker 4: got it?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 4: And so that that name is a is a name

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Speaker 4: we don't associate with them.

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Speaker 2: Anymore, got it? Got it? Okay, there's so much I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to like, I'm trying to map it all out right,

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Speaker 2: I know, you're all good.

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Speaker 4: So Mary has one child, and that's Leon, and Leon's

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Speaker 4: on the group chat with mine and Janelle's kids. And

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Speaker 4: Mary is not on the group chat, not on the

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Speaker 4: group chat like us. Right, So Mary lives in Parawan.

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Speaker 4: She had that as far as I know, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't really talk to Marry that much. So she

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Speaker 4: lives in Parawan as far as I know, in her

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Speaker 4: airbnb or something like in there anyway, I guess I

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Speaker 4: don't know exactly.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So six kids and six kids, and and they're

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Speaker 2: essentially are they their cousins siblings?

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Speaker 1: They consider themselves siblings.

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Speaker 4: We married Cody, like I, So when we married Cody,

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Speaker 4: I was the third wife. And after I got married,

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Speaker 4: that's when all the kids came. And so all the

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Speaker 4: kids really were raised as siblings. So they refer to

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Speaker 4: themselves as siblings. They don't use the word half there

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Speaker 4: to them their full siblings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's like essentially like me, I mean

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Speaker 2: my my my brother Wyatt is my half brother, but

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Speaker 2: I mean I don't say that he's he's my brother.

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Speaker 2: I grew up with him. I mean it's yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the kids all they grew up together, and that

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Speaker 1: one goal that we really had when we put our

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Speaker 1: family together was to have them be true, truly siblings,

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Speaker 1: to feel like they were all and they all grew

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Speaker 1: up together, like they're all intermixed age wise, and so

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Speaker 1: they do. They're very much siblings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, yeah, no, I bet now working backwards just

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Speaker 2: a little bit, because usually you kind of start at

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Speaker 2: the beginning, but you know, I'm a pretty fluid, you know,

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Speaker 2: conversation guy. So dissolving a marriage, like, how does that work?

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Speaker 2: Is it pretty much standard practices even though there were

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Speaker 2: three of you, you know? Or is there something that

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Speaker 2: has to be done differently that we don't know about

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Speaker 2: or I don't know about.

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Speaker 4: We had like spiritual marriage, so I wasn't leave, So

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Speaker 4: a minus from Janelle as far as our path goes

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Speaker 4: and stuff. So we both were spiritually and married, so

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Speaker 4: in our church there was a religious feeling that we had.

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Speaker 4: So once it was time for me to leave, and

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Speaker 4: you know, you don't know you have to leave until

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Speaker 4: you know you have to leave, and then at that

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Speaker 4: point I was like, okay, I've just got to go.

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Speaker 4: And so for me, it was a spiritual journey as

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Speaker 4: far as praying to God and making sure he was

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Speaker 4: okay with me leaving and that was going to be fine.

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Speaker 4: It was going and traveling to North Carolina and talking

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Speaker 4: to Maddie and saying, if I leave your dad, am

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Speaker 4: I still going to have access to your children? And

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Speaker 4: she's like, You're always going to be their ownA I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 4: that's good. So like all the grandkids are ours, mine engines,

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Speaker 4: they're all ours, and so it was talking to her

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Speaker 4: and making sure she would be okay with it. And

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Speaker 4: then I just told all of the adults that I

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Speaker 4: was going to be lead, that I was leaving Cody.

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Speaker 4: And then I just decided, like I kicked him out

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Speaker 4: of my room, my bedroom. I just told I didn't

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Speaker 4: want him to be in my bed anymore. If you

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Speaker 4: didn't really want to be in there, I didn't want

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Speaker 4: him in there, and I only wanted someone in my

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Speaker 4: bed that loved me, and that was at that time me.

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Speaker 4: So I kicked him out and at that city I

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Speaker 4: consider my official divorce, because you can't really have an

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Speaker 4: official divorce, there's no paper work.

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Speaker 2: How does everyone take that situation? Do you have to

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Speaker 2: confer you know? Or are you on your own and say, no,

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Speaker 2: this is the way I feel, and I respect the

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Speaker 2: way that everyone else might feel in their opinions, but

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Speaker 2: you know, I am, I have free will, and I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be in this anymore.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty much it, I think. I mean, you can decide,

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Speaker 1: and then it's really up to you to decide. I

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Speaker 1: think what steps you want to take? So Mary actually

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Speaker 1: went ahead and did the steps and went to the

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Speaker 1: church that we were married in and have the official release.

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Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: She actually did the official thing. I really haven't. My

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Speaker 1: marriage is over. I don't know what I'm going to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm not really interested in getting married again or even

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Speaker 1: really dating at this stage. So I'm not even thinking

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Speaker 1: about like, oh, what do I need to do, because

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, I am over, I am done. I

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Speaker 1: love my single life, and you know, if that if

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Speaker 1: something presents itself in the future, then I'll consider what

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Speaker 1: I need to do, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: So you know something that was cool, Oliver, When I

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Speaker 4: told everybody that I was leaving, Janelle called me and

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Speaker 4: she's like, Okay, you know, we've all known that you've

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Speaker 4: been struggling with Cody for years and everything like that.

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Speaker 4: But she came over and she's like, what does that

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Speaker 4: mean for us? You know, as far as sister always

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Speaker 4: go with our relationship. She's like, I've raised we've raised

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Speaker 4: kids together, so what does that mean. I'm like, We're

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Speaker 4: just going to continue doing what we're doing. We're just

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Speaker 4: going to continue in the relationships that we have. I'm

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Speaker 4: close to Janelle. I wasn't close to Mary and Robins.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't going to stay close to them. But then

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Speaker 4: Janelle and I went to Disneyland together. We took our

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Speaker 4: youngest with us. She took Sananna, I took Truly, and

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Speaker 4: the four of us went and I think on that trip,

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Speaker 4: for me, I realized, oh, do you know still my

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Speaker 4: sister wife. She's always going to be my sister even

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Speaker 4: though we both got married, Tody, we're just going to

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Speaker 4: sister wives and we're going to be in each other's

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Speaker 4: lives for the rest of our lives. We have kids,

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Speaker 4: we've raised together, we have grandkids together, and we're just

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Speaker 4: going to keep doing things and hanging out. And I

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Speaker 4: just got home a couple days ago from hanging out

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Speaker 4: with her, and we're just going to stay in each

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Speaker 4: other's lives.

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Speaker 1: It's a good thing. I like David, it's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: I like you.

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Speaker 4: I'm really glad.

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Speaker 1: Nobody likes me too.

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Speaker 4: You know, we're going to go on trips together. We're

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Speaker 4: going to keep going together.

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Speaker 2: So then going going backwards, going way way way back.

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Speaker 2: I mean, obviously you guys were born into the religion

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Speaker 2: that you're in, right, No, No, I was you were

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Speaker 2: not okay? You are not okay? And what about you, Chris?

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Speaker 2: What about you? Christine?

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Speaker 4: Were you? I was? I had two moms. My dad

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Speaker 4: married my other mom when I was five. I wore

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Speaker 4: a burgress my mom, but my hair and curlers the

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Speaker 4: night before, and I remember her wedding day really really well.

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Speaker 2: Okay. And then Janelle, you were not born into it.

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Speaker 1: No, So I grew up in the mainstream LBS church

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Speaker 1: because they are separate, okay. And it wasn't I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I was probably in my I was probably twenty two

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Speaker 1: twenty three when I finally really seriously considered the fundamentalist

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Speaker 1: branch or of the fundamentalist faith.

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Speaker 2: So and explain that a little bit. You know. I

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Speaker 2: know that probably a lot of people have seen the

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Speaker 2: show and followed your guy's story and understand it, I

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Speaker 2: mean to you know, to be fair, I haven't really,

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Speaker 2: but it's just it's interesting to me. And in my intro,

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Speaker 2: you know, I did my own little old song and dance,

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Speaker 2: but then I just talked about, you know, the human

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Speaker 2: condition and how we're all different, and how we all

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Speaker 2: need and want and experience different things, and there are

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Speaker 2: different things that make us happy, you know, until they don't,

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Speaker 2: and then you move on to something else. You know, Now,

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Speaker 2: when you are in a situation, whether it be what

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Speaker 2: you guys are in or you know, a job or whatever,

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Speaker 2: where you're feeling like you want out and there's restrictions

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Speaker 2: there but you can't, that's one thing. But if it's

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Speaker 2: all of free will, then shit, man, like, do whatever

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Speaker 2: the hell you want to do. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: That's my that's my personal feeling about just life in general.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, Christine, you grew up in this. This is what

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Speaker 2: you've learned, it's what you've seen, you know. But just

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Speaker 2: take me through the fundamentalist sort of ideas of what

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Speaker 2: this is, of what polygamy is, of what multiple wives are,

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Speaker 2: of sister wives, of all of it, Like, what is

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Speaker 2: the sort of you know, gospel behind it.

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Speaker 4: Sure, so we can both talk about with Janelle's good

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Speaker 4: at numbers and everything in history remembering all of that,

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Speaker 4: but basically the beginning of the Mormon Church. Back when

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Speaker 4: Joseph Smith was the founder of the Mormon Church or

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Speaker 4: LDS Church, really one of the tenets of faith that

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Speaker 4: he felt like he was inspired to live was plural

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Speaker 4: marriage and continue and live plural marriage himself, which is

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Speaker 4: plural marriages having more than one wife. And then you

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Speaker 4: know that trickled down through the presidency and through the members,

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Speaker 4: and it's just if you look in like the scriptural

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Speaker 4: references as far as living plural marriage goes, it just

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Speaker 4: talks about it. So you know, it's what you believe

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Speaker 4: and will get you to the highest degree in the

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Speaker 4: celestial kingdom, which is you know, heaven, and it helps

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Speaker 4: to be a better person. It helps like rough off

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Speaker 4: the round edges. And it's not something I believe in

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Speaker 4: anymore at all. I don't plan on living it again,

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Speaker 4: it's not it doesn't fit with me anymore. But I

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Speaker 4: have siblings who live it and they all thrive and

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Speaker 4: they're doing really well. Some are doing well, but you know,

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Speaker 4: just because life is life, and so it's just one

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Speaker 4: of the tenants of the faith of the Fundamentalist Mormon Church.

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Speaker 4: ELDS Church does not practice plural marriage at all.

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Speaker 1: Okay, really truly, I mean it really is simply like

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Speaker 1: every faith has a way to enlighten it, right, Like

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Speaker 1: it's it's really you have to get over yourself. A

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Speaker 1: man has to expand his capacity. A woman has to

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Speaker 1: learn her own value. I mean, there's it's like it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a pathway. It's a pathway to progression. So

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's not the only part of the faith.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of other parts of the faith, but

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Speaker 1: that is one of the that's the biggest tenant that

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Speaker 1: separates us from the mainstream LDS churches we still practice

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Speaker 1: or that church. I mean, I'm not really a member anymore,

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Speaker 1: but that church practices plural marriage.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and so and Janelle, are you are you out

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Speaker 2: of it like Christine is?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I still I still have very much.

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Speaker 1: I had, still have a very close relationship with God.

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Speaker 1: I still am very prayerful, and I'm still a very

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Speaker 1: religious person. But I am not in the faith anymore. No,

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Speaker 1: I mean I still I still actually hold most of

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Speaker 1: the LBS beliefs, but I am not in the plural

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Speaker 1: I'm not in the fundamentalist And.

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Speaker 2: What does it look like to sort of.

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Speaker 1: Exit that you just don't go anymore?

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Speaker 2: You don't go and you're not Do you lose friends,

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Speaker 2: do you lose family members?

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Speaker 1: You know, Being sort of a convert at a later age,

386
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Speaker 1: I really didn't know a lot of people. I still

387
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Speaker 1: am very close to all of my family that practices

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Speaker 1: still like I still a lot of Cody's family. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I'm still very close to you know, so I haven't

390
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Speaker 1: really lost anybody, and not really.

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Speaker 4: You know, my favorite thing happens. I was at Costco

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Speaker 4: the other day because that's where you meet up with

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Speaker 4: everybody's Costco. And there was a whole like a group

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Speaker 4: met me. So it was a man and he had

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Speaker 4: two wives with him and then a couple of their kids,

396
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Speaker 4: and it was the entire range of emotion, all of it,

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Speaker 4: you guys, it was crazy. So some of them were

398
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Speaker 4: completely like, Christine, there you are. It's been forever and

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Speaker 4: I missed you and la la lah, and here's a hug,

400
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Speaker 4: and you know, picking upright where you left off. And

401
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Speaker 4: other people were kind of like one of them was

402
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Speaker 4: very uncomfortable and they're like, oh, what do we do

403
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Speaker 4: with her? She's left? Now? Does that mean that we

404
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 4: can you know? How is that? Does she hate plaguing me?

405
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Speaker 4: She is she not going to like me because she left?

406
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Speaker 4: And maybe she's bitter or maybe she's angry about her

407
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Speaker 4: she you know, maybe she's left religion in general. And

408
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Speaker 4: I don't know where I stand. So everybody it was

409
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Speaker 4: like from the and then one was physically uncomfortable, and like, okay,

410
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Speaker 4: it was it was lovely. So you get all ranges

411
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Speaker 4: of emotion with you know, acceptance, not understanding, absolute like well,

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Speaker 4: I think we're done that kind of a thing just

413
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Speaker 4: because you are leaving. I was leaving something that I

414
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Speaker 4: knew all of my life, and I realized it just

415
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Speaker 4: wasn't going to fit me anymore. I felt it was

416
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Speaker 4: too controlling for me. And I told Cody. One of

417
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Speaker 4: the great things that I really appreciate about Cody, like

418
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Speaker 4: in the church, who wear garments, like in the in

419
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Speaker 4: the LDS, they and I took mine off and I

420
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Speaker 4: told Cody I wasn't gonna wear them anymore. And he goes, well,

421
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Speaker 4: how is your relationship with God? I said, it's fine.

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Speaker 4: God doesn't hear if I wear them. I mean, for me,

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Speaker 4: God doesn't hear that I wear them. He goes, okay,

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Speaker 4: that's fine then, and with it. He didn't care, he

425
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Speaker 4: didn't raise it. He was like, it's your relationship with God,

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Speaker 4: that's the most important thing. And that's what he always

427
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Speaker 4: taught our kids. And I really appreciated that because it

428
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Speaker 4: was it is. What you do is you need to

429
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Speaker 4: have your own personal relationships, you know, with God, and

430
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Speaker 4: you shouldn't have to have an ecclesiastical authority. And so

431
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Speaker 4: I really appreciated that. But leveing takes a while too.

432
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 4: It's not like suddenly you're done. It was like a

433
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 4: trickling away, and it was like gone away in pieces.

434
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 4: There were certain things I just didn't believe anymore. I

435
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 4: couldn't make them fit into my paradigm of understanding the world.

436
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 4: We met after we met public, Oh my gosh, we

437
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,160
Speaker 4: met the most amazing people and so many different walks

438
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 4: of life and faith. And I'm like, these people are

439
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 4: amazing and their relationship with God is just as strong

440
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 4: as mine.

441
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, but when did you but when did you start

442
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 2: to realize that? You know what I mean?

443
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 4: Like you went, Yeah, when I started questioning like myself?

444
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Because you know, when you're even when

445
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 2: you're eighteen nineteen years old, I mean that's when sort

446
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 2: of your brain is moving, You're you're you're sort of

447
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 2: stepping outside of what you've been what is learned, you know,

448
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 2: and you start to sort of establish your own sort

449
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 2: of thoughts and feelings and ideas. You know, our brain

450
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: I don't think is fully developed until we're in our

451
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: mid twenties, you know, from just a biological standpoint.

452
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 1: You know, it's so interesting because I actually chose the faith. Yeah,

453
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 1: for me, it was a very it was a very

454
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: logical choice for me, and I never really felt like

455
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 1: plural manager was very controlling. I actually felt very independent.

456
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: I felt like I had a lot of freedom. And

457
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: I think it really is about what you make of it, right,

458
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: whether you choose to embrace who you are and be

459
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: strong and who you are and be independent and live

460
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,400
Speaker 1: a life, or if you sit around kind of comparing

461
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: or pining or whatever you know, for you know, I

462
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: don't know, Like I just felt like it was very independent.

463
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 2: Were you in the church though, Janelle? Like before you

464
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 2: found at twenty two? Like where were you like from

465
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 2: zero to twenty two?

466
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: So I was in the LDS Church. But that is

467
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: my family practically disowned me when I joined the Fundamentalist

468
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 1: faith because you know, that was not done, that was

469
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: definitely not done, and so they were very upset with me.

470
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 1: So isn't really something that's embraced in the LDS church

471
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: the mainstream LDAs Church. So I mean, for me, it

472
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: was a choice. I felt very called to live the

473
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 1: life and I found a lot of independence and freedom.

474
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 2: What drew you to to the fundamental side of things.

475
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 1: I've always been someone who very much sought to do

476
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,479
Speaker 1: what God what would bring me closer to God, and

477
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: I really felt like that was what this was. Was

478
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: just it was a devotion. It was a devotional thing

479
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: for me.

480
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 2: Now that you have sort of moved beyond that side

481
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: of fits not to say that you don't have maybe

482
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 2: even a stronger relationship with God, like when you reflect

483
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 2: back on the reasons you did join. Yeah, now you're

484
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 2: an older woman who can reflect. How do you speak

485
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 2: to that younger person? Do you know?

486
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm actually really really grateful, And this is one thing

487
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: Christine and I've really talked about, is we're so grateful

488
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: for experience. I personally am very grateful for the growth

489
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: that I experienced, beginning to be very confident in who

490
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: I was, knowing who I was, knowing my own strengths,

491
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: and not feeling like I had to always measure up

492
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 1: against somebody else. But then we also had this tremendous

493
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 1: family experience that I never would have had without a

494
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: big family, So I'm really grateful for that, really truly.

495
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,479
Speaker 1: And Christina and I both said, you know, we wouldn't

496
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: go back and change anything because all we have now

497
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: is really great.

498
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 2: Oh of course. I mean I think, you know, just

499
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 2: forget forgetting about forget about religion or anything. Really. I mean,

500
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: I've been asked that question too, just interviews. I'm very

501
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 2: open about my my life and the things that I've

502
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,959
Speaker 2: gone through and the anxieties that I've had. And you know,

503
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 2: there's been infidelity in my relationships that has been you know,

504
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 2: dealt with through just internal just just sort of self expression,

505
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 2: self realization. I wouldn't change a thing. Actually I got

506
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: dinged and not Dan, but it was picked up in

507
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 2: the newspapers like Oliver Hudson wouldn't change a thing, and

508
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 2: da da da da, And I'm like, well, of course not,

509
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 2: because I'm happy with who I am now. I am

510
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 2: happy with sort of my philosophies on life and the

511
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 2: things that I have gone through, the character building experiences,

512
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 2: the pain having to sort of navigate all of that.

513
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 2: I don't know who I'd be without it, So why

514
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 2: would I change it? You know?

515
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: I think we're the some of our were some of

516
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: our parts. Right. I feel like you always like you

517
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: become richer, a richer person as you go through life experiences,

518
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: and some of them are not so great. Right now,

519
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: I'm not so righty, but just make it you are.

520
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean now if I was, if I was

521
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: a completely screwed up individual and on drugs and in

522
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 2: a gutter somewhere, then maybe I would want to change something,

523
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. But yeah, right right, you know,

524
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 2: but I fought, I was, I always fight. I'm always fighting.

525
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: You always fighting. You know who you are and your

526
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 2: own psychology and educating yourself and there it's it's it's

527
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 2: a forever process, you know what I'm saying. Which is

528
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: the beauty.

529
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 4: I think it's a constant progression. There was one time

530
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 4: that I have to tell you when I was leaving

531
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 4: and I was just so still frustrated, and so I

532
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 4: remember just saying I don't think I even like clicking

533
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 4: me more above a toganelle. And she's like, wait a minute,

534
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 4: a minut. She's like, come on, you live in plural

535
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 4: marriage is the reason why you can do so many

536
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 4: things you can do. She's like, I'll never forget how

537
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 4: you just did the whole irrigation system by yourself in Wyoming.

538
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 4: You know how you you know, did all of these things.

539
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 4: You did things all the time. You could just pick

540
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 4: up and leave and you could go. And the independence

541
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 4: that you learn and that you found is something that's

542
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 4: who you are. And it's like I decided at that

543
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 4: point to same as you're saying, like you realize that

544
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 4: this is all a path and this is all a journey.

545
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 4: And there's some memories that I make sure they stay special,

546
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 4: they stay good days, and I never let anything like

547
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 4: negative or anything like that just creeped in. You just

548
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 4: have a lot of actually have so many good, wonderful

549
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 4: memories with our family and where it's brought us, and

550
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 4: with our kids being as tight as they are. I mean,

551
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 4: it's it's absolutely awful.

552
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

553
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 1: But actually none of our children have embraced the faith.

554
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: I mean, they are all doing their own things.

555
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: That was going to be a later question, but now

556
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: that you're bringing into it, like how about all the kids?

557
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: Like where are they at with all this?

558
00:28:59,480 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

559
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: Really we did raise them to really disperse and foremost

560
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: have a good relationship with God, and I think they

561
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: all have sort of found their path. Some are not

562
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: even really big believers of God, and that's okay. We're

563
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: all still we all have this foundational family and it

564
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: doesn't really matter what everybody thinks or believes. You know,

565
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 1: everybody here is very different. They're all the whole spectrum.

566
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: I love it, and I love it because we still

567
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: get all together and we still have so much fun

568
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: and we just we celebrate the things that are in common,

569
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: which are lots of thing.

570
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 4: Well, it seems like our biggest goal it was about

571
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 4: getting a development with God. But then it was also

572
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 4: become a productive person, productive to this and make sure

573
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 4: you have a sense of purpose and you have a direction.

574
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 4: And so it was all about too, like, have a

575
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 4: sense of purpose, have someplace that you're always moving towards.

576
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 4: You're always better in yourself, always looking at people like

577
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 4: with a way to understand them, you know. Lovely having

578
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 4: for it, like so many different parents, I think really

579
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 4: helped our kids to kind of fine tune because you

580
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 4: have all those special conversations with each of the kids,

581
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 4: so they learn from all of us and all of

582
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 4: our parentings do has I mean, I learned things from

583
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 4: my other mom that were totally invaluable and I'm so

584
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 4: grateful that she's always been in my life.

585
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: Your Here's what's interesting, though, you know, going down that

586
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 2: path a little bit, is that, yeah, I have three kids,

587
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: you know, I have one wife. Obviously, you know you

588
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: have to be on the same page. There's a fundamental

589
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: belief on how you want to raise your kids, but

590
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 2: how you get to that place sometimes can be different,

591
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: very and it's just in relationships and single relationships in general.

592
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 2: It's that don't you undermine me? Or or you know,

593
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 2: like I told him no and now you're telling him yes.

594
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 2: I mean, there's so many there are so there are

595
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: so many sort of disconnects and parenting. I mean, imagine

596
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 2: when you have a thousand parents, like how do you

597
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 2: how do you? How do you deal with that? Where

598
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,479
Speaker 2: it's like wait a minute, this is I do it

599
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: this way, and you might do it this way, but

600
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: then he does it this way, but then she does

601
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: it that way. I mean, it could be a web

602
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: of insanity.

603
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: Well, I think that we always sort of respected everybody.

604
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: Everybody had their biological children, right, and so they kind

605
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 1: of had a culture in their families. But then there

606
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: was some a big general culture that we sort of

607
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: just had to mesh our cultures, Christmas traditions, holiday traditions,

608
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: the way that like do kids get to like I

609
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 1: remember one of the very early on could the kids

610
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: play in the cupboards? Addishes in the kitchen?

611
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're messes? Okay, what kinds of messes? And how

612
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 4: do you fold? And do you care if they even

613
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 4: fold anything?

614
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: You know?

615
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 4: But you know what the kids learn too is how

616
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 4: to navigate parents. You know, how your.

617
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: Kids to go to if they had a question they

618
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: want to ask a yes, they know who.

619
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 4: To go to, learn pretty quickly who to get yeses from,

620
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 4: and like.

621
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: If they want to go do the crazy Black Friday shopping,

622
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: do not sign me up Christine's She's in the car

623
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: waiting for them at one am.

624
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 4: Or to keep us warm?

625
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no. I mean, you know, my sister has

626
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 2: three kids and I have three kids, and you know,

627
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: all cousins are like best friends. But but she does

628
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 2: it totally differently than I do. She looks at the

629
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: way that I raise my kids and she's like, Jesus man,

630
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 2: you are too lenient. You let them watch like horror

631
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: movies at the age of three. I mean, you know,

632
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 2: I curse in front of my kids. You know, I'll

633
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: drink in front of my kids. I used to smoke cigarettes, smoke.

634
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: I'm going to be me in front of my children.

635
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hide anything. Now. Can you do it?

636
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: Can you say bad words? Am I an example to

637
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 2: you right now?

638
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 4: No?

639
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: Of course not. I'm not your role model yet. This

640
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 2: is who I am. I'm an adult. When you become

641
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 2: an adult or when you get to be older, then

642
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 2: you can make these choices. But I'm not gonna sneak around.

643
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's almost worse than them knowing

644
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 2: out front. They're gonna find it, they're gonna see, they're

645
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: gonna see the booze, they're gonna see the cigarettes. And

646
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 2: for me to go outsideigrette like coming like hey and

647
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 2: stink of cigarettes.

648
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 4: Well, it's the level of teaching them respect.

649
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 2: Right, there's a respect where my sister's like, what, you're crazy?

650
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: I would that, So it's just different, you know, we'd

651
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 2: just do it differently.

652
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 4: I was definitely more pious like before.

653
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: Oh some yeah, my kids have some funny stories.

654
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

655
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: Christine was very black and white, very black woman.

656
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 4: I believe that you should raise kids black and white.

657
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 4: So for me, it was like hard at PG thirteen

658
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 4: was when you're thirteen.

659
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: And my kids benefited.

660
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 4: They really did benefit from you know, and who knows

661
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 4: some kids, I'm sure look back and they're super bitter.

662
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 4: But I have to tell you why. I watched The

663
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 4: Conjuring with truly just a couple of days ago, and

664
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 4: it was terrifying.

665
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 2: It all one of the best horror amazing. It is

666
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: one of my favorites horror buff our family. I've seen

667
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 2: every horror movie. Who Conjuring is my one of my

668
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 2: no I.

669
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 4: Saw it in the airplane, mind you with the screen

670
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 4: distake on the back of it.

671
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: That might be less scary so much that scary scar.

672
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was amazing. So I've come a long way

673
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 4: because horror was certainly not allowed in my home and everything.

674
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 4: So it's it's you changed to it's important to teach

675
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 4: your kids too. Is that change is okay?

676
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 2: Yeah?

677
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 1: To see the differences in personality and stuff in the

678
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 1: spectrum of adults. I think actually gave our kids a

679
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: pretty good tool. They gave it, gave them a tool

680
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: some tools going into real life, because you're going to

681
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: meet all these different personalities like I've had my kids

682
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: have come home and had bosses that were very rigid

683
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: and strict, and like they had and Mary is very

684
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: much like she's very she's very rigid, she's very strict,

685
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: and so they had dealt with that and they're like, oh, okay,

686
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 1: I know how.

687
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 4: To do this.

688
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, No. I love what you guys said,

689
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 2: where it's like, look, we're going to, you know, show

690
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 2: them a path that I was on, that we believe in,

691
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: not was are now currently with your relationship with God

692
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 2: and if you choose to, you know, follow it. Great.

693
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 2: If you don't belie even God, I love you. I mean,

694
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: you do whatever you want to do. I mean, that's

695
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful way to sort of do it. Because

696
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends, well not a lot,

697
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 2: but a lot two or three friends who were raised

698
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 2: in a extremely God fearing place and it's screwed them up.

699
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, they've come out of it,

700
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: but they had to go through a lot because they were,

701
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 2: you know, essentially disowned sometimes if they didn't believe what

702
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 2: your parents believed. You know, that's hard.

703
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 4: That's sad to me. I like that our kids are

704
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 4: so individual. They all chosen different things, and oh my gosh,

705
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 4: I've learned so many things from them. Then. It's just

706
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 4: amazing that all the things that they've learned about life

707
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 4: and the different people they've met, and the walks of

708
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 4: faith that they have, and you know, I really feel

709
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 4: blessed that we were able to set up our family

710
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 4: like we did. That kind of just kind of fell

711
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 4: into place. But we did have discussions about it back

712
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 4: in Wyoming where we did side, you know, do we

713
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 4: want our kids to live plural marriage? It was like, no,

714
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 4: I think that we just want them to have a

715
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 4: good relationship with God. And that was at the very

716
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 4: very beginning of all even though we talked them I

717
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 4: don't know, trying to teach them my example, I guess,

718
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 4: and things like that definitely definitely changed. So just grateful

719
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 4: that they're just good people. They treat people with kindness.

720
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: Are any of them wanting to follow in that sort

721
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 2: of plural marriage past? No?

722
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that's death. First.

723
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 2: Do you think social media and sort of the connectivity

724
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,439
Speaker 2: of the world through technology now has changed a little

725
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 2: bit of that.

726
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 4: I don't think it's technology. I don't think it's technology.

727
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 4: I think it's that we weren't in the faith anymore.

728
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 4: We lived in Vegas, and for all of those years,

729
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 4: instead of our kids hanging out with other Plaguma's children,

730
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 4: they hang out with kids that were everybody else the

731
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 4: whole open world. So I think because we exposed them

732
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 4: and ourselves to more people that lived outside of, you know, whatever,

733
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 4: the fundamentalist faith, that that's the reason why that happened too.

734
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 4: I think we just showed them a whole broader world.

735
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 4: So for them, they just got to see a broad

736
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 4: a picture. But then also we do believe that there

737
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 4: should be a calling that you do feel to live

738
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,720
Speaker 4: in any religion, to be a part of any religion,

739
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 4: and none of them have the calling to even be

740
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 4: a member of the church we were previously.

741
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know.

742
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: One thing, I am glad we do have a very

743
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: much or more open world, right we do now, and

744
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 1: we've definitely had a much bigger life. I feel like

745
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 1: our children have for sure.

746
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 4: You know.

747
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 1: One reason that we originally went public was to sort

748
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: of expand people's ideas of what plural marriage was, you

749
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like were it was the train

750
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 1: wrecks making the news, right, and we were looking at

751
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: ourselves and we're like, Wow, this isn't really us anymore

752
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: about it. I mean, like, this isn't really us, And

753
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: so we really did. It was very scary for us

754
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: to go public because everybody was very afraid, our community

755
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: was very afraid that we would somehow out them and

756
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: they would we would bring the law down on them

757
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: or whatever. But I am really great that we've had

758
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,240
Speaker 1: that experience and we've been able to share with people.

759
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: And granted it's it's sort of a train wreck now,

760
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: but hey, that's normal family life, right, that's normal family life.

761
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 1: Like you said, yourself, relationships evolve and change, and we're

762
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: doing it obviously now in a very public forum, and

763
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 1: we're seeing all the nitty gritty and the mean things

764
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 1: that you say to each other when a relationship is

765
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: hinting or whatever. It's, oh my gosh, Like, we're real people, right,

766
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: And I think that's what we set out to show,

767
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: was that we're just real people who've made a choice

768
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: to live a little bit differently and it isn't always

769
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: about control, and it isn't always about having to wear

770
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: a certain dress or having to you know. We really

771
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 1: wanted to show that we were real people and even

772
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: as rough as it is, we are now still showing.

773
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 2: That getting to that point. You know, you guys are

774
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 2: strong female, strong women, you know what I mean? Like

775
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 2: I don't quite and you can explain sort of understand

776
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: the role of the female in that fundamentalist world. But

777
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: you know, would you can first of all, would you

778
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 2: consider yourself feminists? Not in the extreme sense of the word.

779
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 4: Ye? Okay, so definitely I believe, yeah, absolutely.

780
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 2: Okay, So take take that part of it. Are you

781
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: are you newfound feminists or do you think you've been

782
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: a feminist from the beginning? And then if you have, like,

783
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 2: how do you square sort of the female role in

784
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 2: that fundamental world with sort of how you kind of

785
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 2: feel on the inside and how you maybe have acquiesced

786
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 2: to parts of it that were against your morality as

787
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:48,840
Speaker 2: a female.

788
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,879
Speaker 1: So I've always considered myself a feminist, which meaning that

789
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: women could do anything, any job or anything, have any

790
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 1: opportunity that a man could have. And I also sort

791
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: of felt like I could be very independent, and so

792
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: a plural marriage allowed me to function within a marriage

793
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: and have a family and still be very independent. For me,

794
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: that was the ideal merge of the two worlds. A

795
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: feminist world as well as I really did want to

796
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: have a family and I really did want to have

797
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: that partnership with a spouse. And so for me, I

798
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: feel like I've just even continued to grow in my independence.

799
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: I have an independence that I didn't even comprehend I

800
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: could have when I was twenty two, twenty three, and

801
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 1: in tandem with having a family. So to me, I

802
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 1: feel like I've had it all. I've had the best

803
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: of both worlds. I've had career, I've raised family, I

804
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 1: have a beautiful family, and I have a lot of

805
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 1: professional opportunity, and I sort of feel like I've got

806
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: it all, Like I've got everything now, do you know

807
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: what I mean?

808
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: Mm hm. Were you ever like in the moment thinking well,

809
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 2: this is bullshit, I don't want to wear this, so

810
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 2: this is you know, I mean, internally resisting.

811
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: We didn't ever have anything that we had to wear.

812
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: We wore regular clothes, you know what I mean. So

813
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: that was one of the reasons we went public, was

814
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: to show that, you know, hey, I don't have to

815
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: wear the dress. I don't have to wear the hair.

816
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: That's not part of it. That's some sort of weird

817
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: dogma that has crept in to some of the sex,

818
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,359
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And so that was we

819
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: were really out to show that we were just regular people.

820
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 4: I was definitely the same thing a feminists from the

821
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 4: very beginning. I mean, even watching my grandma's and how

822
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 4: strong and independent they were and they could do everything

823
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 4: and anything. And I got to watch my moms be

824
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 4: so strong and they could do everything and anything I

825
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 4: wanted to do. And then I got married and really

826
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 4: whatever I wanted to do, I just learned how to do.

827
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 4: Accepting you to be fixed, I fixed it. If that

828
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 4: need to be done, I did it. And you just

829
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 4: learn how to be strong and independent and stand up

830
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 4: for yourself and five for yourself. And I mean I

831
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 4: always would tell my kids, like definition of gentlemen, definition

832
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 4: of a lady, they're both the exact same thing. They're

833
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 4: just making sure that everybody in the room is comfortable.

834
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 4: So as far as feminism goes, I think it's my

835
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 4: job to make sure that everyone is accepted and everyone

836
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 4: is accepted at their level where there. I think that's

837
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 4: what true feminism is is realizing we all have a

838
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 4: power within us that needs to be heard and needs

839
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:17,240
Speaker 4: to be valued, and maybe not understood, but it still

840
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 4: needs to be heard.

841
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: And you never felt that that power was, you know,

842
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: sort of being suffocated in any way in my experience,

843
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 2: not for you.

844
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 4: Some days for me, I was like, you know, I

845
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 4: don't know if I'm necessarily being treated to me. It

846
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 4: was a thing of equality, and so I felt like

847
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: I wasn't being treated as an equal, it wasn't being

848
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 4: treated as a wife. I felt that for the last

849
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,959
Speaker 4: several years of being married to Codd, I didn't feel

850
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 4: like so I felt in our family sometimes I was

851
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 4: a second class wife, and that was very frustrating to me,

852
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 4: very frustrating.

853
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 2: That's interesting, you know, because then there then you know,

854
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 2: it all sounds great, and then and there that comparison

855
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 2: starts to happen when you have sort of you know,

856
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 2: multiple wives or people in those relationships, like you're getting

857
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 2: more attention than you and well, I.

858
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 4: Felt like Cody was comparing. I feel like the comparing

859
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 4: starting with Cody.

860
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 2: No, that's what I mean, That's what I mean.

861
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 4: I couldn't either. There's no way I'm going to be

862
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 4: a wife like Robin. I don't sign me up. I'm

863
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 4: not going to do what you want me to do.

864
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 4: All the time or whatever she did. I don't know exactly. Yeah,

865
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: I'm going to be me, you know, and so that

866
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 4: I mean, I just feel like there was a lot

867
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 4: of comparing that happened, and there was a pedestal that

868
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 4: was I'm not going to do that. I'm not going

869
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 4: to do that. So I'm not going to conform my

870
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 4: life to what you want me to be. I'm going

871
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 4: to conform my life to what I want me to be.

872
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 2: Well, I also think, you know, human nature is is

873
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 2: when you have a group of people in general, like

874
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 2: you're going to gravitate towards one more than the other.

875
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about just in your situation, but just

876
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 2: in a group of people, Like there's a connection, there's

877
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 2: a chemistry that happens when you have multiple wives. I'm

878
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 2: sure that that's just a natural thing where you are

879
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 2: gravitating more towards.

880
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 4: At all of our not a plural life, I know,

881
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 4: But isn't that.

882
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 2: But isn't But isn't that human sort of like just

883
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: feeling really truly?

884
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: So a woman comes in and she her her role

885
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: is to kind of learn her value and learn how

886
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: to be independent all that he actually is failing if

887
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 1: he is allowing one relationship to be more significant. That

888
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: is the man's challenge in living plural marriage. They have

889
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: to expand their capacity emotionally. Look, most guys don't really

890
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,760
Speaker 1: want to sign me up. Don't sign me up. They

891
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: all think like the great, the sex is all great,

892
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: Like I get, you know, but but like there's an

893
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 1: emotional component that comes along when you're when you're having

894
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: multiple families, you have to meet the needs of your

895
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: wives and your children. So he was failing when he

896
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: when he was failing the standard. God when that started

897
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: to happen so interesting, So that was his that was

898
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: a failure on his partner.

899
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 2: Right, right, And how does that you know? Are with

900
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 2: you guys? But just in general, I mean, you know,

901
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 2: as far as intimacy goes, or just even connectivity go,

902
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 2: I mean, is there is there jealousy that happens, you know,

903
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 2: within the groups?

904
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: You know.

905
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 4: I didn't feel jealous too much. I didn't really feel

906
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 4: jealous before Robin. Before Cody married Robin, I feel like

907
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 4: what they had was a true soulmate relationship. And I

908
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 4: really felt like he started to focus so much on

909
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 4: Robin and her kids. So for me, I didn't get

910
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 4: jealous until then, and then suddenly when your needs are

911
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 4: being met, and like when his capacity wasn't growing anymore

912
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 4: to you know, be there for all of us. I

913
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 4: feel like that's when jealousy really started to creep in.

914
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 4: Got it and for me, and before that didn't matter. Before,

915
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, everyone's needs are being mad.

916
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,760
Speaker 2: I think you're fine, and even the intimate part of it,

917
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 2: it's not doesn't matter, Like it's just part of the

918
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: part of the deal. There's no jealousy when it comes

919
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: to that stuff.

920
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 1: Well, you're not comparing notes and you're definitely not. Everybody's

921
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: talking about it. Very sad, no, I know.

922
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 2: But like with my wife when I first met her,

923
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: most men don't want to know anything. I'm different. I'm like,

924
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: I want to know every dude you've been with, every

925
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 2: detail because I don't want to run into this guy,

926
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 2: you know. But I'm sort of like a jealous ish person. Yeah.

927
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: No, we respect the sanctity of that marriage boundaries, you

928
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 1: know what I mean.

929
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's great. I mean, but you know, you

930
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 2: gotta there's gotta be chat behind the camera's cutting.

931
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,919
Speaker 1: No. Never, I've never, no, because I just I didn't

932
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 1: feel like that was my business, and I didn't feel

933
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: like it would be helpful to know, so I didn't

934
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 1: really care.

935
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 4: The guy was more separate marriages, and we kept them

936
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 4: separate as far as the we mind bitch about something

937
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 4: Cody did, Like hell, he went out and bought that car,

938
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 4: uge the luggage.

939
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 2: There were definitely things that were yeah, well this has

940
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 2: been amazing, Like I could talk to you guys forever.

941
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: It's just so fascinating.

942
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 1: We've appreciated it.

943
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: No, I really it's amazing, and I love, you know,

944
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 2: to sort of see how strong you guys are, and

945
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 2: you know how independent you are, and and sort of

946
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 2: turning the you know, just the the idea of what

947
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 2: this is on its head, you know, to watch and

948
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 2: to see how these experiences have made you who you

949
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 2: are and have created these strong ass women who are

950
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 2: living their lives the way that they want to live

951
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 2: it right now.

952
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: That's what they want. My motto to be a strong

953
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,439
Speaker 1: ass woman who's living her life.

954
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 2: No, it's true. I mean, it's so it's so it's

955
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 2: so great. I mean, it's it's just awesome to have

956
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 2: this chat, you know. And then so the show is

957
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 2: out right, the season is airing right now. It's airing right.

958
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 4: Now every Sunday Sunday night on TLC.

959
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 2: Okay, and and you want to for okay real quick

960
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 2: and then we'll go. But like, I didn't get into this.

961
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,919
Speaker 2: How did this even happen? How did the TV show

962
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 2: even come about?

963
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 4: Yes? So I was in a group of people that

964
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 4: were in charge of spreading, spreading, puguing me awareness basically,

965
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 4: and someone reached out to me through that group and

966
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 4: then I'm like, then they hooked Hi up with Cody

967
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 4: and was He ended up being our producer for years

968
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 4: and years and years. But we all sat down and

969
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 4: we talked and he's like, I want to do a

970
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 4: documentary on your family, and we're like, that won't work.

971
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,760
Speaker 4: If you do a documentary and you open up our family,

972
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 4: we're going to all lose our jobs, our kids are

973
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 4: going to be bullied in school. We can't do that.

974
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 4: It was a felony back then. So we're like, we'd

975
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 4: have to have it be a series, and so he

976
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 4: and he became a producer and one of our very

977
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 4: good friends for years. So he took it and he

978
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 4: found TLC and they partnered with us, and it's that

979
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 4: first time when we were sitting there in this room

980
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 4: with all these TLC executives and executives, and like the

981
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 4: like reality television, they showed our pilot and there we

982
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 4: are just these this small family who were so scared

983
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 4: of the whole outside world, and they showed our family.

984
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 4: They're on a big screen with all of these strangers,

985
00:48:56,680 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 4: and at the end everyone went totally. It was so silence,

986
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 4: and then they started clapping and we're like, it was hard.

987
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,399
Speaker 4: It was super scary to go public. It was hard.

988
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 4: All outside the world is a scary thing. But I

989
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 4: feel like what's come from it the understanding that people

990
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 4: have now towards plural marriage, but then also realizing that

991
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 4: we're just like them and everybody. It seems like every

992
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 4: woman that I meet associates with one of us and

993
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 4: identifies with one of.

994
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 2: Us well, because I think when you hear when you

995
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: hear plural marriage, when you hear polygamy, it's it's immediately

996
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: the connotation is a dude with a bunch of women

997
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 2: and he's having his way and he's he's you know,

998
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: lording over them, and that that's the just the idea,

999
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: when without even understanding the reality and the truth of it,

1000
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 2: you know, so there's a nice expose that you guys

1001
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 2: were able to do. Say no, no, no, no, no no.

1002
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 2: It's not just about that, no, no, no, right, but.

1003
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: We also just if I can really quickly get through

1004
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: our efforts, and especially we have some very dear friends

1005
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 1: who worked very hard to hand it him. With the

1006
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: legislature in Utah, plaguing me was decriminalized. So everybody he is,

1007
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,240
Speaker 1: not nearly is afraid. They can come out of the shadows.

1008
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: They can live openly. And that is really huge as

1009
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 1: far as some of the things you know that the

1010
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 1: community was stumbling with.

1011
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 2: That's great. I mean why why why make that a

1012
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,720
Speaker 2: federal Why make that a felony?

1013
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 4: I mean, lovely that it is criminalize?

1014
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all right, one last question, would you what

1015
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:36,320
Speaker 2: about switching it up where you get to have four husbands.

1016
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: To too much work than.

1017
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 4: Were previously heard a lot of work. I'm a monogamous

1018
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 4: through and through. I love David and I'm so glad

1019
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 4: that I found him, and I have no interest in

1020
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:53,439
Speaker 4: marrying anybody, and I love monogamy so much.

1021
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 2: Good and then Janelle and obviously not the four that

1022
00:50:56,239 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 2: was kind of a joke, you know, what's your what

1023
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:01,879
Speaker 2: does your ten years and ten years like? I don't

1024
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 2: want to be married again?

1025
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 4: Do you want to?

1026
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 2: Are you happy being single? Are you just having a

1027
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 2: good time, really.

1028
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,320
Speaker 1: Really happy being single? I'm not even dating. Christine and

1029
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 1: David are always like, you really should sign up for

1030
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: some of those things. You should really like meet people,

1031
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know, like

1032
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 1: a lot of work, so you know, maybe, but it

1033
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 1: will have to happen organically for me. I'm probably not

1034
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 1: going to go looking for it.

1035
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 2: I know, by the way, that's the best way to go,

1036
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 2: you know, I hope.

1037
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 4: So, I don't know. I looked for it. I went

1038
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 4: out there, I did the whole app thing.

1039
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: Oh good for you, David, Like you found David, and

1040
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: that's great, amazing. It's like, if it happens, it happens,

1041
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: you know.

1042
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 2: So if it's not a priority, then why make it

1043
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,840
Speaker 2: a priority until.

1044
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: It comes a lot of things going on.

1045
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, when it becomes a priority, and they're like you

1046
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 2: have that burn, like I want someone, I need someone

1047
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 2: I love, I want to feel loved. I want to

1048
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,839
Speaker 2: love someone, Then you'll do it, I think, so I think,

1049
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:58,720
Speaker 2: so yeah, yeah, well this has been amazing. Thank you guys, thanks,

1050
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 2: thank you. I I really loved having this conversation. It

1051
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 2: was really fun for.

1052
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 4: Pleasure.

1053
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you. Wow totally uh changed my you know,

1054
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: my opinion, I guess. I mean I was probably one

1055
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 2: of those people who thought, oh, you know, polygamy, plural marriage,

1056
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 2: you have this sort of idea of what it is.

1057
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 2: I haven't seen the show, so I probably asked a

1058
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 2: lot of questions that have been answered a million times

1059
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 2: over in the show. But watching them from episode season one,

1060
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 2: episode one till now, I mean, I'm sure it's night

1061
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 2: and day that journey, you know, from where they were

1062
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 2: to where they are now. Not to say where they

1063
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 2: were was anything negative. I mean, as we talked about it,

1064
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 2: they gained so much experience and built so much character

1065
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 2: through what it is that they went through, and now

1066
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,720
Speaker 2: they are who they are. But I mean, it's pretty

1067
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: pretty cool. Maybe I'll think about it. You know, I'm

1068
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 2: gonna talk to Aaron. I'm gonna talk to Aaron tonight

1069
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 2: and see if maybe we can't get into this plural thing.

1070
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 1: You know.

1071
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 2: The way I'm gonna pitch it is like this, like, Babe,

1072
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 2: this has nothing to do with other women, okay, uh

1073
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 2: and me this is is more about you and creating

1074
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 2: a sisterhood. And you know this is you know it's

1075
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 2: gonna be great. We'll see, we'll see how it goes anyway,

1076
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 2: all right, I'm leaving by