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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's partnered with General Electric to

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Speaker 1: create dog strength hearing aids for humans.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: So now you too can hear the sound of a

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Speaker 1: squirrel climbing a tree four blocks away.

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Speaker 2: Wait, why do I want to bark? Jeff? What do

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Speaker 2: I want to bark?

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Speaker 1: It's all thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser as other Tonight

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Speaker 1: Is takers just don't. This first laser story is out

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Speaker 1: of the great state of Florida.

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Speaker 2: Heay, We've just had so many lately from Florida.

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Speaker 1: Florida's really are MVP? Hey? A thirty eight year old

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Speaker 1: man named Ricky Puddlefry was being investigated by the cops.

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Speaker 1: He knew that and had been in trouble with the

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Speaker 1: law for some time, so when police paid him a visit,

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Speaker 1: they were still a little surprised to see Ricky had

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Speaker 1: a novelty doormat that said come back with a warrant day.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, if you say it in a doormat real,

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Speaker 1: here's a photo so my host can see it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, where did you buy this from It's

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Speaker 2: like it looks like a little cute Etsy find.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, deputies didn't even knock on the door. They left,

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Speaker 1: and an hour later came back with an actual warrant.

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Speaker 2: All right, they listened.

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Speaker 1: They say Ricky had been posing as a real estate investor,

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Speaker 1: creating fake documents that made it look like he owned

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Speaker 1: a bunch of properties. He then used him as collateral

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Speaker 1: to take out big loans to buy other houses, and

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Speaker 1: then he'd rent those places out, pocket the money and

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Speaker 1: never pay back the loans.

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Speaker 2: That's a scam.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he is a smart guy. Not that smart, so

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Speaker 1: Copp said, their financial crimes unit interviewed him and established

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Speaker 1: enough probable cause to quote execute a search warrant, thereby

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Speaker 1: satisfying the doormat's request. Wow, okay, So Ricky is now

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Speaker 1: facing forgery and grand theft charges.

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Speaker 2: I bet he's not going to put a comeback soon, doormat.

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Speaker 1: No. In fact, when interviewed by a local newspaper, he

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Speaker 1: said he's kicking himself for not buying a doormat that

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Speaker 1: said just go away. Yeah, do not arrest me. The

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Speaker 1: cops have to listen to what the doormats said. This

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Speaker 1: next lazer story is out of Richmond, Virginia. Animal control

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Speaker 1: officers were called to a nearby shop early in the

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Speaker 1: morning yesterday. The reason why, according to the police report,

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Speaker 1: a male raccoon had broken into the liquor store, got

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Speaker 1: super hammered, and passed out in the bathroom. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: not clear how he got in. Then employee just found

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Speaker 1: him sprawled down on the bathroom floor the next morning,

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Speaker 1: still completely unconscious, with two bottles of hooch opened nearby.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, little pause, are all sprayed out? Isn't this

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Speaker 2: the second drunk raccoon story we've done this year? Remember

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Speaker 2: we did the one that was in a in a

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Speaker 2: dumpster and got drunk.

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Speaker 1: Want to get drunk with a raccoon?

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Speaker 2: No, i'd maybe raccoons have a problem. Yeah, maybe we

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Speaker 2: need to start a little organization.

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Speaker 1: The problem is not enough raccoons. We need to make

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Speaker 1: this a party.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is sad partying by yourself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of lonely being a raccoon. Though. He

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Speaker 1: also knocked over a bunch of other bottles off the shelves.

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Speaker 2: Being a raccoon or a drunk raccoon both.

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Speaker 1: Some of them ended up breaking and then he started

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Speaker 1: licking the booze up off the floor. We've been there, buddy,

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Speaker 1: here before. We've all been there, and he eventually just

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Speaker 1: overserved himself.

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Speaker 2: It's hard, but he was even there to hold his

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Speaker 2: little raccoon hair. He's alone in the bathroom. Happen to

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Speaker 2: your raccoon? No, I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to tell from the photo, but animal control

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Speaker 1: described him as very intoxicated and they had trouble getting

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Speaker 1: him to stand the next day. You don't.

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Speaker 2: See I picture was a loving raccoon.

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Speaker 1: Do they make the drunk raccoons try to walk in

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Speaker 1: a straight line.

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Speaker 2: To touch your little nose in?

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Speaker 1: The officials let him sleep it off in an animal shelter,

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Speaker 1: then released him back into the wild.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, he's gonna have some story.

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Speaker 1: Imagine the hangover goes back in the woods.

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Speaker 2: All the berger chup, but he's like, be quiet.

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Speaker 1: Yea. Officers say they don't know if he has a

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Speaker 1: drinking problem or not. But good news is at least

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Speaker 1: he didn't try to drive.

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Speaker 2: That's right and good responsible raccoon.

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Speaker 1: Tiny victory. This next Lazer story is out of Sin City.

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Speaker 2: Fine.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to believe, but the original Wizard of Oz

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Speaker 1: was a total flop when it first opened in theaters

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Speaker 1: in nineteen thirty nine.

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Speaker 2: It is nuts because it's the first color movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it should be like everybody was.

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Speaker 2: In wing for it.

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Speaker 1: No, it lost one point one million dollars during its

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Speaker 1: initial run.

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Speaker 2: Probably maybe the color costs too much. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 2: the tickets are only like a nickel. Right, how many

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Speaker 2: people do you have to have in the movie theater

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Speaker 2: to make up a million dollars?

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Speaker 1: Good points? Flash forward to this year and the movie

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Speaker 1: is now making two million dollars a day. A spear

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Speaker 1: in Las Vegas.

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Speaker 2: I have seen this and I want to go. In

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Speaker 2: that scene they actually throw like foam apples at me.

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Speaker 2: When you're the tree is throwing the apples at Dory.

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Speaker 2: They're throwing real apples into whatever. That's cool.

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Speaker 1: But they're able to break two million dollars a day

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Speaker 1: because people are paying between one hundred and nineteen bucks

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Speaker 1: for Nosebleeds and three hundred and seventy seven dollars for

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Speaker 1: the front section, all to see a movie that's almost

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Speaker 1: ninety years old. I agree the spirit.

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Speaker 2: You don't doesn't matter. Good for you, Judy Garland.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and to be fair, we are talking

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Speaker 1: like a totally immersive four D experience with multisensory effects

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Speaker 1: including shaking seats, high velocity winds, atmospheric fog, fire effects,

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Speaker 1: swirling leaves, floating butterflies, and even falling apples and flying

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Speaker 1: monkey picks.

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Speaker 2: It is. That's a cheap ticket for anything at the Sphere.

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Speaker 2: That's why you're like, well, I can't afford to go

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Speaker 2: to the one thousand dollars concert, so I might as

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Speaker 2: well go to the one hundred dollars nineteen twenties movie Man.

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Speaker 1: That Drunk Raccoon. If he had made it in, he

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Speaker 1: would have been mind blowing. Yeah. You may have heard

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Speaker 1: that Vegas is not doing very well with tourism, and

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Speaker 1: that might be true in general, But the Wizard of

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Speaker 1: Oz at the Sphere totally killing its destination.

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Speaker 2: You do you Oz?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go to your final laser story out of

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Speaker 1: text time with Tony Boring. Give it a chance.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm waiting.

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Speaker 1: There's a new career opportunity if you're a proud PERV

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Speaker 1: because the federal government is now paying people to watch

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Speaker 1: adult content. Yeah maybe you're kidding, right, not kidding.

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Speaker 2: It can't fund parks or children.

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Speaker 1: This is this is important work Brook, because the IRS

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Speaker 1: is auditing people's Only Fans accounts to make sure they're compliant.

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Speaker 2: Models. So they're doing it for business.

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Speaker 1: It means some agents are going to be paid to

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Speaker 1: watch graphic scenes at work. O my god. And this

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Speaker 1: is all because of the new no tax on tips

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Speaker 1: law that Congress passed this summer, because there's a carve

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Speaker 1: out in it that says you still have to pay

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Speaker 1: taxes on tips earned from graphic adult activity and the

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Speaker 1: limit itself is only twenty ks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they put that in there just so that they

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Speaker 2: can set up a job for themselves, you know.

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Speaker 1: Huh. Well, And to be fair, not everything on OnlyFans

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Speaker 1: is adult content. Influencers and a lot of bless celebrities

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Speaker 1: have accounts. So if you know of someone who's out

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Speaker 1: of work with a lot of spare time on their

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Speaker 1: hands and they can correctly identify what graphic adult content is,

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Speaker 1: then you might have a bright future in the Irso, oh,

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Speaker 1: this guy says like he's interested. Is he raising his

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Speaker 1: hand to participate? It's hard to tell.

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Speaker 2: That's not his hand.

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Speaker 1: He's definitely raising something. Yeah, he's excited. That's how means

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Speaker 1: Laser stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Monday

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,