Speaker 1: Subjeclide says, does attraction matter? I got asked out by
Speaker 1: a good Christian. I've known him for a while and
Speaker 1: he's a genuinely great guy. He checks all the boxes.
Speaker 1: I just don't really feel attracted to him in a
Speaker 1: romantic way. Does attraction matter? What's up? Everybody? Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Granger Smith Podcast is where I answer
Speaker 1: your questions. You email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: We just walked through it like we're friends, and we
Speaker 1: kind of are right. I agree. Really excited at this
Speaker 1: season of my life and this podcast because I have
Speaker 1: a book coming out August first, called Like a River,
Speaker 1: and it's just been top of mind for me because
Speaker 1: I just literally just finished recording the audiobook for it,
Speaker 1: and I've been, you know, working on how we're going
Speaker 1: to roll it out and you know, the promos behind
Speaker 1: you know, the publisher has to come up with all
Speaker 1: these ideas on how it's going to roll out on
Speaker 1: August first, and right now, it's going to be on
Speaker 1: pretty much every place that you could find a book.
Speaker 1: It's going to be there, but including the audiobook, which
Speaker 1: is which I'm excited about. But what I'm excited to
Speaker 1: in relation to this podcast is that a lot of
Speaker 1: these questions I get, we can I could I could say, hey,
Speaker 1: check out the book. You know, chapter six I talked
Speaker 1: about this happened to me. Your question happened to me,
Speaker 1: and here's a here's a here's the answer of how
Speaker 1: I walked through it. Take it as you please, right.
Speaker 1: And then the other thing is the other side of
Speaker 1: that is you guys could say, hey, I noticed that
Speaker 1: this happened to you, and I saw you wrestle it
Speaker 1: with with it this way, and I did it this way,
Speaker 1: and we could discuss that way anyway. I think it's
Speaker 1: a great conversation starter, and so I'll probably talking about
Speaker 1: that as we continue on, and maybe maybe we can
Speaker 1: get more in depth about what the book is about.
Speaker 1: It's about surviving grief, but it's just it's this is
Speaker 1: a heads up that we have fun times coming with
Speaker 1: the podcast, especially after Like a River August. First, let's
Speaker 1: get to the first question here. I don't I don't
Speaker 1: prepare for these, so this is all random. Subdecline says
Speaker 1: mental health for me and my family. Hey, Grindrick, my
Speaker 1: name is Zach. Your music helps me get through a lot.
Speaker 1: My grandma and Grandpa are declining in health and won't
Speaker 1: take care of themselves. When me or my wife or
Speaker 1: my mom try to help them, they get upset and
Speaker 1: get mad at us for trying to help. Where we
Speaker 1: schedule doctor's appointments and they won't go, and then they
Speaker 1: blame us for that as well. I'm trying to find
Speaker 1: peace with the whole situation. And on top of that,
Speaker 1: my family gets upset when we reach out to my
Speaker 1: grandparents because they favor my aunt and her kids. Okay,
Speaker 1: So then he ends up by saying any kind of
Speaker 1: guidance would be appreciated, Thank you, Zach. Zach sounds like
Speaker 1: it sounds like, especially at the end there, there's like
Speaker 1: some family dynamics that I don't know about, but that
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the point of your email. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about your grandparents. They're declining in health, they won't
Speaker 1: take care, they won't take care of themselves, and they
Speaker 1: get mad if you try. Well, I don't think. I
Speaker 1: don't think yet you have thought about it from their perspective,
Speaker 1: and that's probably where I would go in my you know,
Speaker 1: fireside chat with you. That's what we're doing. We're sitting
Speaker 1: by the campfire, and I would say, Zach, just because
Speaker 1: somebody that you love doesn't want or need or ask
Speaker 1: for your help, it doesn't mean that they don't love you,
Speaker 1: or that you don't love them enough or you're not
Speaker 1: trying hard enough. What if they're just content with where
Speaker 1: and who they are. That's sometimes that's hard to swallow,
Speaker 1: as you know a grandson like you are, and you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: I want you guys to take care of yourself so
Speaker 1: that I can get ten or fifteen more years out
Speaker 1: of you. Hey, I know that deep down you wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that. I wouldn't say that, No one would say
Speaker 1: that out loud. But deep down that's the issue here,
Speaker 1: isn't it. You want them on this earth so you
Speaker 1: could be with them and benefit from them and you
Speaker 1: don't have to hurt from the loss of them four, ten, fifteen,
Speaker 1: twenty more years. What if you take yourself out of
Speaker 1: it and listen, I'm trying to kind of tread lightly
Speaker 1: on this, but what if you take yourself out of
Speaker 1: and you're like, they are happy right now. They don't
Speaker 1: want to worry about medical stuff and hearing the doctor
Speaker 1: tell them that they're getting old and they have something
Speaker 1: else wrong with them that might require surgery or some
Speaker 1: kind of hospital stay. They cost a lot of money.
Speaker 1: They would rather just do their thing, just do the
Speaker 1: routine that they love to do. And if that cost
Speaker 1: them a little bit earlier passing in their life, if that,
Speaker 1: if that costs them, you know, a little bit less
Speaker 1: off to the top of their life, then they're okay
Speaker 1: with that. The question is are you okay with them
Speaker 1: being content? You could still love them in a way
Speaker 1: that you go, Hey, I'm concerned about you, guys, but
Speaker 1: I'm not going to push anything because you've lived a
Speaker 1: lot longer than me. Grandpa. You've seen this, You've seen
Speaker 1: a lot more stuff than I have. And maybe, just maybe,
Speaker 1: by the time I get to your age, Lord Willing,
Speaker 1: I feel the same way as you. It's like, Hey,
Speaker 1: don't want to go to doctor. It's gonna get me
Speaker 1: more years. He's gonna keep me alive for a few
Speaker 1: more years. I don't know if I want that. It's interesting,
Speaker 1: but I don't think you've thought of it that way,
Speaker 1: and so I want to suggest it. Okay, just love them,
Speaker 1: Just love them. You don't have to Loving someone doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you got to keep up with them. And make
Speaker 1: sure they're taking their medicine. That doesn't mean that just
Speaker 1: be there for him, be there to facilitate whatever they want, right,
Speaker 1: I mean you don't want to. I'm not saying go
Speaker 1: too far and let them. Actually they're physically hurting themselves,
Speaker 1: but to some extent if they want some they want
Speaker 1: to eat some ice cream, and they got high cholesterol
Speaker 1: and they're eighty five years old, just let them eat
Speaker 1: the ice cream. Right. Thanks for the emailing, buddy. Next question,
Speaker 1: Sepicliente says, does attraction matter? Hey, Grainder been listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast for a while now, and I've gotten so
Speaker 1: much good advice from it. Thank you. I got to
Speaker 1: ask a question. Excuse me. I got asked out by
Speaker 1: a good Christian a few days ago. I've known him
Speaker 1: for a while and he's a genuinely great guy. He
Speaker 1: checks all the boxes. I just don't really feel attracted
Speaker 1: to him in a romantic way. Does attraction matter? Or
Speaker 1: should I listen to what logically makes sense? Thanks for
Speaker 1: all you do, Anonymous, Anonymous, thank you for the email.
Speaker 1: I think it's a good question. I think it's a
Speaker 1: good question because we all know these people that kind
Speaker 1: of check all the right boxes, except there's just nothing there.
Speaker 1: There's no chemistry, nothing gives you the butterflies. And you ask,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter? I say, yes, I think it does. I
Speaker 1: think attraction is is there for a reason, it's it's
Speaker 1: attraction isn't just frivolous. We could look at it. Sometimes
Speaker 1: we go, oh, you know, appearances on the outside don't
Speaker 1: matter as much as the inside. We say that all
Speaker 1: the time, right, just tell someone you can't judge a
Speaker 1: book by this cover. We say that, okay, and and
Speaker 1: that's right. There's nothing wrong with saying that and believing
Speaker 1: those those you know, core virtues that what's on the
Speaker 1: inside is more valuable and more longer lasting, and that
Speaker 1: everything on the outside will eventually get old and wither
Speaker 1: away and be gone. Right, So we don't We don't
Speaker 1: stay because of the way someone looks. We stay with
Speaker 1: them because of the connection we have in our heart
Speaker 1: and the the the inner connection of who they are
Speaker 1: as a person. That's what makes a lasting relationship, and
Speaker 1: that's what everyone ultimately wants, is that person that you
Speaker 1: could sit on the porch with in the rocking chair
Speaker 1: when you're eighty years old and you're holding hands. You know,
Speaker 1: and at that point doesn't matter what they look like anymore. No,
Speaker 1: But because of all that all just said, I don't
Speaker 1: think we just toss away attraction because it's a natural
Speaker 1: part of relationships. It's a natural part of how we're
Speaker 1: created to be. It's a natural part of boy meets girl.
Speaker 1: Boy is attracted by girl and therefore ask her out
Speaker 1: because initially he sees that attraction initially, right, and then
Speaker 1: he gets to know her and he falls in love
Speaker 1: with her and who she is. But it's there for
Speaker 1: a reason, so that he doesn't just ask everyone out.
Speaker 1: He doesn't see every girl on a street that's around
Speaker 1: his age, and regardless of what they look like, he
Speaker 1: just ask him out and tries to get coffee with
Speaker 1: them to see if there's a connection. That that's why
Speaker 1: attraction exists, right, So we don't count it out. And yes,
Speaker 1: to answer your question, does it matter, Yes, it matters.
Speaker 1: So you got a guy he checks all the boxes.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't count him out yet, because hey, y'all correct
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. But girls can be attracted later
Speaker 1: after their heart's a little bit more connected. I don't
Speaker 1: think guys do that as much. They can. It's possible,
Speaker 1: but it's more likely that a girl could get to
Speaker 1: be friends with the guy that she's not attracted to,
Speaker 1: and then gets a little more intimate in their conversations.
Speaker 1: She finds out how sweet he is, how he serves
Speaker 1: his mother, how he you know, what a good guy
Speaker 1: he is when they go, you know, when she sees
Speaker 1: him out and walking his dog or whatever, and then
Speaker 1: she's like, man, I'm really starting to like this guy.
Speaker 1: Guys don't do that as often, but girls can so.
Speaker 1: For you, I would say, don't don't kick him to
Speaker 1: the curb, continue to talk with them, go grab coffee,
Speaker 1: hang out in groups. But if there's not an attraction, ultimately,
Speaker 1: it's not going to work. You can't just put that
Speaker 1: off forever and say eventually, it doesn't matter if I
Speaker 1: like him or not, it's all about what's on the inside.
Speaker 1: He's not handsome at all. To me. Is that what
Speaker 1: you want? Is that what you deserve? Anonymous? Is that
Speaker 1: what you want? A guy that checks the boxes but
Speaker 1: you're not attracted to him. I think you're going to
Speaker 1: find a guy that you are attracted to and you
Speaker 1: connect with that checks all the boxes. That's the guy
Speaker 1: for you. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Speaker 1: Next question, subject client says, what should I do? They're
Speaker 1: going Your name is Kyle eighteen from New Jersey. Just
Speaker 1: recently found your podcast and I've been listening and it's
Speaker 1: really helped me grow. And I'm also going through a breakup.
Speaker 1: This girl and I broke up because her dad is
Speaker 1: very controlling in her life and thought that she was
Speaker 1: not focused on school because she was in a relationship
Speaker 1: with me. But he also liked me. But he made
Speaker 1: her and her twin sister block me on social media
Speaker 1: trying to follow this email here and I never got
Speaker 1: a reason or anything behind it. They stopped contacting me,
Speaker 1: and I've not contacted them. It's been two months since
Speaker 1: it's happened. I was wondering should I reach out or
Speaker 1: let it be. I've moved on, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: I want to know why all of this treatment happened
Speaker 1: to me. I'm going to college with her sister next year,
Speaker 1: so I'm not sure if I should wait till I ask.
Speaker 1: Then it was the biggest wake up call in my life,
Speaker 1: and I found myself and was able to self supply
Speaker 1: my own happiness. Yes, but I would not love but
Speaker 1: I would love to get your opinion here. Thank you, Kyle.
Speaker 1: All Right, Kyle, I think I'm following when your brother.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the email. I appreciate it and shout
Speaker 1: out to New Jersey. Let's break this down here. First
Speaker 1: of all, let's talk about the relationship, the breakup, the dad.
Speaker 1: Let's justify the dad real quick. The dad is telling
Speaker 1: his daughter, I don't think I don't think you should
Speaker 1: be with this guy because he's making you not focus
Speaker 1: on school. Okay, we can't blame him for that, especially
Speaker 1: since we don't know. I don't know all the information,
Speaker 1: but I don't think he just made that up. I
Speaker 1: think there would be some kind of legitimate reason that
Speaker 1: he thinks you are taking more attention away from her
Speaker 1: school and she needs to be focusing on school right now.
Speaker 1: She's probably about sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, and I
Speaker 1: can't say I disagree with dad. Right I've got a daughter.
Speaker 1: I think I might tell her the same thing if
Speaker 1: she was getting a little too close to some guy.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, I need you to back away from
Speaker 1: this guy because I need you to focus on school
Speaker 1: right now. There's plenty of time for this later. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's a bad thing, So let's not blame
Speaker 1: dad without knowing the whole story. Secondly, he made her
Speaker 1: and her sister block you on social media. Now there's
Speaker 1: a lot of reasons for that. I don't think that
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily a bad thing either. I talk about
Speaker 1: that all the time or recommend people block people on
Speaker 1: social media on this podcast all the time. It has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with not liking the person. It's more
Speaker 1: about just being able to health, have a lot of
Speaker 1: health and moving on and just be be be out
Speaker 1: of side, out of mind for your own heart to heal,
Speaker 1: not for not for you know, being a bad guy
Speaker 1: to the other person. Right, So I'm not blaming him
Speaker 1: for either of these things. So then it comes to you,
Speaker 1: what should you do. You're confused, you don't know why
Speaker 1: they did this, and the dad said break up and
Speaker 1: then block him. So then you're asking this question. I've
Speaker 1: been wondering if I should reach out or let it be, Kyle,
Speaker 1: let it be, don't reach out, let it be. Nothing
Speaker 1: good can happen from this. You're not gonna go in
Speaker 1: there and change things like all of a sudden, now
Speaker 1: the dad likes you, or now the dad's out of
Speaker 1: the picture, and he doesn't speak into her life as
Speaker 1: much like he'd used to. It's been two months, brother. No,
Speaker 1: you're done. You're done. You're blocked. You're blocked on social media.
Speaker 1: If I tell someone on this podcast to block somebody
Speaker 1: on social media, it's for their own healing. And so
Speaker 1: I don't want that person, the person they blocked, going
Speaker 1: through the back door and coming in through the window
Speaker 1: in the kitchen and interrupting their life. Again, it's no
Speaker 1: offense to you, that's just what the scenario is calling for. No,
Speaker 1: you're done. Now, that's finished. Now let's go to the
Speaker 1: end of the email, because to me, it gets even
Speaker 1: more interesting you say this last sentence. It was the
Speaker 1: biggest wake up call in my life, and I found
Speaker 1: myself and was able to self supply my own happiness.
Speaker 1: H I don't believe you, Kyle. I love you, brother,
Speaker 1: and I wish I could talk to you face to face,
Speaker 1: But I don't believe you because I was once eighteen
Speaker 1: and the fact that you could find your you found
Speaker 1: yourself once again, Kyle. I letna say all this out
Speaker 1: of love. Okay, this is just tough love. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say all this because I actually care about you, and
Speaker 1: not not because I dislike you. But you found yourself?
Speaker 1: Where were you hiding? Where did you go? How did
Speaker 1: you lose yourself? That's my first question. And you go, ah, Granger,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Man, I've found myself Like
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know who who, I hadn't come
Speaker 1: into my own yet. I'm like, I get it. But
Speaker 1: I'm saying, if you were lost, you found yourself where?
Speaker 1: How did you What did you read? Who did you
Speaker 1: hear from? What did you do in the two months
Speaker 1: since you broke up with your girlfriend? You go, oh,
Speaker 1: now I found myself. I was lost before, but now
Speaker 1: I'm found. Tell me more about that. Second of all,
Speaker 1: I want talked about the lie that you the lie
Speaker 1: that has been fed to you. It's not your lie,
Speaker 1: it's a lie of the world that has been fed
Speaker 1: to you that tells you that you have the ability
Speaker 1: to quote self supply your own happiness. How do you
Speaker 1: do that? Can you produce more of that and sell
Speaker 1: it to other people so that they could buy some
Speaker 1: of your happiness because you are a self supplier of it.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you, brother, that's not possible. You
Speaker 1: have been. I don't want to try. I want to
Speaker 1: tread lightly here because I don't want to I don't
Speaker 1: want you to take it the wrong way that I'm
Speaker 1: just kind of dogging on you. But I want to
Speaker 1: tell you. I want to give you a warning. I
Speaker 1: was once eighteen, for sure. And if you come to
Speaker 1: the conclusion that you have the ability to find yourself
Speaker 1: when you're lost and self supply your own happiness, I
Speaker 1: promise you that is leading down a path that you
Speaker 1: will not be able to recover from. Let me put
Speaker 1: it this way. If you're driving down a road and
Speaker 1: you realize that you have control of the vehicle, and
Speaker 1: you finally realize that not only do you have control
Speaker 1: of the vehicle, but you have control of the road itself,
Speaker 1: then that might work for a little bit. You might
Speaker 1: be able to get around some potholes, you might be
Speaker 1: able to avoid a couple of head on incidents from
Speaker 1: people driving on the wrong side of the road. But
Speaker 1: one day the bridge will be out. You'll be driving
Speaker 1: down the road and the bridge is gone, and suddenly
Speaker 1: you driving your car and control realize you might be
Speaker 1: able to control that, but you cannot control the road itself.
Speaker 1: And at that point, what will you rely on your
Speaker 1: self supplied happiness? What happens when your self supply runs out?
Speaker 1: This is something I want you to wrestle with. I
Speaker 1: want you to think on hard, and it's not something
Speaker 1: that you might just come up with all at once,
Speaker 1: But I want to challenge you and say you didn't
Speaker 1: find yourself, you weren't lost, and you cannot self supply
Speaker 1: your own happiness. Keep listening to this podcast. I appreciate you. Brother.
Speaker 1: Let's catch up one of these days. In first, we'll
Speaker 1: take a break and be read back. Podcast is brought
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Speaker 1: twenty links, and once again, just a friendly reminder before
Speaker 1: we get back to the podcast, my new book Like
Speaker 1: a River comes out August first. Mark your calendars. You
Speaker 1: can go to grangersmith dot com right now to pre order.
Speaker 1: You get a free chapter in some other cool things.
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to discuss this book further with y'all.
Speaker 1: Back to the podcast. All right, back to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Let's dive into your emails. You could hit me up
Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Grangersmith podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. That's my email and I will go through
Speaker 1: these emails now. Okay, no notes in front of me,
Speaker 1: no quotes, books, you know, So making this up as
Speaker 1: I go and hearing this as I read it for
Speaker 1: the first time with you. Okay, the next question here
Speaker 1: is subject line says anonymous, because they know that sometimes
Speaker 1: I mess that up. Anonymous scripture direction email says, hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I have a deep rooted battle with rejection that stems
Speaker 1: back to my toddler years. I have endured several different
Speaker 1: levels of abuse from physical, sexual, verbal, and mental. After
Speaker 1: eight years of not dating and focusing on myself healthy,
Speaker 1: on getting myself healthy, and even finally obtaining my VA
Speaker 1: and MBA, but my new boyfriend did something not maliciously
Speaker 1: and unknowingly that seemed to send me back into fear,
Speaker 1: insecurity and self doubt of rejection. My question is what
Speaker 1: scripture can you recommend? And battling my own heart and
Speaker 1: mind about the rejection, insecurities, and self doubt. Thanks for everything, Anonymous. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am going to keep you anonymous because you said
Speaker 1: it three times and I will respect that. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for the email, Thanks for being vulnerable, Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast and trusting me with something
Speaker 1: that's very very difficult for you. And so that's I
Speaker 1: don't take that lightly. That's not lost on me. I
Speaker 1: don't know the details. I don't know and I don't
Speaker 1: need to know what you've battled with stemming back to
Speaker 1: your toddler years. And I don't need to know what
Speaker 1: your new boyfriend did, but I can answer your question
Speaker 1: about scripture. You say this, what scripture can be recommended
Speaker 1: in battling my own heart and mind about the rejection,
Speaker 1: insecurities and self doubt? Okay, great, I'm glad you said this.
Speaker 1: Let's dive into this. Love you, I appreciate you, and
Speaker 1: I want you to know that I feel strongly about
Speaker 1: this subject. I feel strongly about this. We cannot look
Speaker 1: at the Bible as an encyclopedia that we go and
Speaker 1: we grab something, we've pulled it out, and we open
Speaker 1: it up to learn about something, and then we put
Speaker 1: that that number of the encyclopedia collection back onto the shelf.
Speaker 1: Just kids. Not intended to be that way. It never was.
Speaker 1: That's what's crazy. It never was intended to be that way.
Speaker 1: It became that way recently, and like the last probably
Speaker 1: sixty seventy years out of two thousand since the since
Speaker 1: the Cannon was completed, roughly and just recently did we
Speaker 1: start using it for certain aspects of life and not everything,
Speaker 1: but some like insecurities, like you're asking about rejection self
Speaker 1: doubt or suffering or hope, are managing wealth or prayer,
Speaker 1: life or marriage or church. We just recently started pulling
Speaker 1: these things out, these truths out, and offering them in
Speaker 1: the form of literature and devotionals, so that you could
Speaker 1: pick up a devotional and flip to the page that
Speaker 1: says insecurities, and you read two or three verses about insecurities,
Speaker 1: and then you read a commentary written by some man
Speaker 1: or woman about those verses, and it's about a page
Speaker 1: and a half and you close the devotional and you
Speaker 1: slide it back onto the shelf and you say, Okay,
Speaker 1: that was awesome, that felt really good. And then two
Speaker 1: or three days go by and you I'm struggling again.
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with this insecurity again. And you fumble down
Speaker 1: the shelf and you pull out that devotional and you
Speaker 1: pull it back out and you read those verses again
Speaker 1: and it feels kind of nice, and you read what
Speaker 1: the commentator said, and you go, okay, I feel feel
Speaker 1: a little bit better again. You put it back on
Speaker 1: the shelf, and now even less time goes by, you're
Speaker 1: already worried and anxious and insecure again. So then you go,
Speaker 1: maybe there's something else. Maybe all Google, maybe there's another book.
Speaker 1: And so you find a book on Amazon and it's
Speaker 1: called it's called Insecurities in the Modern World. I'm making
Speaker 1: this up that doesn't exist. Insecurities in the modern World
Speaker 1: of a Christian And you go, oh, that's pretty good
Speaker 1: paperback seven ninety nine, it's about one hundred and twenty pages,
Speaker 1: I'll buy it. So it comes in and it's like,
Speaker 1: you open up the first page and he goes, are
Speaker 1: you insecure? Yeah? Do you feel rejection? Yeah? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: feel self doubt? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, me. Well, join
Speaker 1: the ranks of many others. And in the Bible we
Speaker 1: could find a few verses that can help us feel
Speaker 1: better about this. And you start reading, and this is
Speaker 1: what we do, this is how we seek it, this
Speaker 1: is what we go for, and it's just not the
Speaker 1: way it was intended to be. Right, you've tracked so far.
Speaker 1: So here's my point. The remedy to your feeling of rejection,
Speaker 1: your feeling of insecurity, your feeling of self doubt. The
Speaker 1: remedy of that lies within the knowledge, your knowledge of
Speaker 1: who God is, if you understand him and what he
Speaker 1: is doing, what he will do, and what he has
Speaker 1: done your insecurities, your anxiety, your worry, your self doubt,
Speaker 1: your fear of rejection, starts breaking apart. That's what it's
Speaker 1: supposed to do. That's what scripture is supposed to do.
Speaker 1: Not by finding one word or one line or three
Speaker 1: lines that Paul wrote and you pull it out of
Speaker 1: the context of what he meant to say to the
Speaker 1: Corinthians or to the Galatians or to the Romans, and
Speaker 1: you pull it out and somebody else commentates on that
Speaker 1: as if it never existed with the entire letter. Then
Speaker 1: it doesn't have the healing effect because guess what, you
Speaker 1: don't know who God is. You just heard a few
Speaker 1: really nice words written by a man in first century Jerusalem,
Speaker 1: interpreted by some other man in twenty twenty three. But
Speaker 1: you don't know who God is. Out of that, you
Speaker 1: just know some pretty nice words. Instead, you start a
Speaker 1: reading plan consistent every morning, every night, every after. I
Speaker 1: don't care when it is, but you don't miss You
Speaker 1: treat it like your daily bread, because it is give
Speaker 1: us this day our daily bread. We need to go
Speaker 1: there and feast on that bread. In the context of
Speaker 1: the whole cannon I'm talking sixty six books. I'm talking
Speaker 1: slowly absorbing it. So it's going to take you a
Speaker 1: year to do this. But as you're walking through, you
Speaker 1: start gaining those truths. And as you make it all
Speaker 1: the way through, you're gaining a certain amount of truths.
Speaker 1: And then you start again and you read it through again,
Speaker 1: and this is a journey that you'll take the rest
Speaker 1: of your life. Well, this is not the answer you
Speaker 1: wanted right now. You wanted something quick. You wanted to
Speaker 1: fix something that has been hurting you since you were
Speaker 1: a toddler. Something has been affecting you since you were
Speaker 1: a toddler. And did you really think that on this
Speaker 1: podcast I was going to give you one scripture or
Speaker 1: two that would heal you from that. The scripture, those
Speaker 1: words don't heal you. It is who those words are
Speaker 1: that heals. John One says, in the beginning was the word,
Speaker 1: and the word was with God, and the word was God.
Speaker 1: Skip down a few verses it says the word became flesh.
Speaker 1: So we read through the Bible not looking for little
Speaker 1: little gold nuggets, little things that we could hang up
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, But instead we read to learn who
Speaker 1: God is, how by the promises He made, by things
Speaker 1: that he has done, the things that he is doing,
Speaker 1: and things that he will do. And we see all
Speaker 1: of those truths over and over and over and over
Speaker 1: and over until it pounds into our numb and insecure brains.
Speaker 1: It's like, this is who I am. This is why
Speaker 1: I called you, This is your purpose. This is how
Speaker 1: long I've been planning it. Since the beginning of time,
Speaker 1: since before you were even a thing, I was planning
Speaker 1: you and your purpose. I made you, I knit you
Speaker 1: in your mother's womb. Every single hair on your head
Speaker 1: is numbered and counted, and I know every day left
Speaker 1: in your life. I know everything about you. I know
Speaker 1: everything you've gone through. I've ordained all the things that
Speaker 1: have happened to you. If there was evil that happened
Speaker 1: to you, I ordained it for a reason, to prepare
Speaker 1: you for something to How can you ever look anonymous?
Speaker 1: How could you ever be full of forgiveness unless someone
Speaker 1: did something, Unless someone didn't do something to you that
Speaker 1: needed to be forgiven. You become a forgiver, which you
Speaker 1: should be, because people do things to you that need
Speaker 1: to be forgiven. How do you become brave? You become
Speaker 1: brave from going through things that scare you, and you
Speaker 1: conquer it and you grow with bravery. Right, this goes
Speaker 1: with any virtue. Any virtue requires some kind of fired
Speaker 1: to walkthrough, to refine you to get to that virtue.
Speaker 1: So God made you in a way that he needed
Speaker 1: you to have all these virtues. So he put this
Speaker 1: in your life. You Ordainity, planned it, purposed it for
Speaker 1: a reason. And as you go through the Bible and
Speaker 1: you see all of these truths over and over and
Speaker 1: pound it into your brain, and you go, I know
Speaker 1: my God and everything I didn't have before, everything I lacked,
Speaker 1: all the knowledge I didn't understand was it didn't come
Speaker 1: from me not knowing a certain scripture. It came from
Speaker 1: me not knowing who God is. Hmmm, That's how I
Speaker 1: feel about that question. Let's go another one here. The
Speaker 1: question subject line says family problems. Hey Granger. My name
Speaker 1: is MICHAELA. I'm sixteen. I'm from Afton, Wyoming. Here's the backstory.
Speaker 1: My dad's in the military. He originally went a Marine,
Speaker 1: but he switched to the Guard to be closer to home.
Speaker 1: He was also a police officer, but he quit recently.
Speaker 1: I tell my dad slash family that I want to
Speaker 1: join the military, but they seem like they are very
Speaker 1: disappointed in me when I talk about it. I feel
Speaker 1: like if I joined the military, they're gonna hate me
Speaker 1: or something. My mom doesn't like the idea any better
Speaker 1: than his than he does. But this has been a
Speaker 1: dream of mine for almost my whole life. My question
Speaker 1: is should I join the military or should I find
Speaker 1: something else to do as a career to make them
Speaker 1: happy and keep a good relationship with them. Of the podcast,
Speaker 1: Love the Channel Thinks. But Kayla, okay, Mikhayela, thank you
Speaker 1: for the question. It's a good one. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something, one hundred and ninety some odd episodes of
Speaker 1: this podcast, this is not the first time I've heard
Speaker 1: a question just like this one that has to do
Speaker 1: with either the military or law enforcement. And I say
Speaker 1: that in a way to encourage you that you're not alone.
Speaker 1: So many times we see when families have a father
Speaker 1: or mother that's in law enforcement or the military, they
Speaker 1: see some things, look at it from their perspective, they
Speaker 1: see some things that they don't want their daughter to
Speaker 1: see or their son. So let me ask you this, MICHAELA,
Speaker 1: just for a second, step back, just for a second,
Speaker 1: can you blame them? Can you blame them? Your dad
Speaker 1: has seen things, done things, And when he was doing
Speaker 1: these things deployed, he had a little baby, beautiful baby
Speaker 1: girl at home named Michaela. And he thought to himself,
Speaker 1: I promise you, he thought to himself, as he saw
Speaker 1: these horrors of war. He thought, I'm over here fighting
Speaker 1: to do everything I can to make sure my daughter
Speaker 1: Mikayla doesn't ever have to see something like this. I
Speaker 1: promise you. It's out of love. And so then several
Speaker 1: years go by, Mikaela comes to dad, Dad, I want
Speaker 1: to do that. That's my dream. I want to go
Speaker 1: to war. And he says, oh Lord, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no. He thinks he justifies it by saying, you see,
Speaker 1: you see the camaraderie, you see the uniform, you see
Speaker 1: the paycheck, you see the traveling the world. You know,
Speaker 1: you get the world traveler, you see that, But you
Speaker 1: don't see what I know. I've seen some stuff you
Speaker 1: don't want to see. I need to protect you from that,
Speaker 1: and I will make sure you don't get into this.
Speaker 1: That's what he's thinking. So michaeleb, first of all, start there.
Speaker 1: Start there. He's not being mean and look at your
Speaker 1: mother's perspective. Look at the mother's perspective. The dad calls home,
Speaker 1: he's deployed, right, I'm making a lot of this up.
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of filling in gaps that I don't
Speaker 1: know about. I'm filling in blanks. Dad calls mom, how
Speaker 1: is your day? I saw something stuff out here. It's
Speaker 1: no good, no good. And she says, honey, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: and he goes, go hug her baby, girl, Go give go,
Speaker 1: give Mikayla a kiss for me, and tell her that
Speaker 1: we're over here fighting so that we could have a
Speaker 1: free country where she doesn't have to deal with stuff.
Speaker 1: And she said, Mama said, okay, you got it, honey.
Speaker 1: I will fast forward. Here comes Mikayla. Hey, Mom, I'm
Speaker 1: going to join the military. That's their perspective. You got
Speaker 1: to see that. You got to see it comes from love.
Speaker 1: I want you to realize that, Mikayla, and then from
Speaker 1: then on, from then, at that point, you move forward
Speaker 1: by conversations and you use you stand on the you
Speaker 1: stand on the platform, on the on the foundation that
Speaker 1: you know, the firm ground you know, and this is
Speaker 1: what you know. They love you stand there, don't stand
Speaker 1: on this like defensive. You never let me do what
Speaker 1: I want to do. Why should I do things just
Speaker 1: to make you happy? I wanted the things that makes me.
Speaker 1: Don't stand there, sit them down, and good dad. Mom.
Speaker 1: First of all, I feel so loved in this family,
Speaker 1: and I want to thank you for always wanting what's
Speaker 1: best for me out of love, including this whole military idea.
Speaker 1: I love the idea, probably because I love Dad and
Speaker 1: I've looked up to you for so long, Dad, and
Speaker 1: I've seen the man that you are and I love
Speaker 1: that and I love you, and being in the military
Speaker 1: for me is part of that journey being more like Dad.
Speaker 1: But I know and I respect your opinions. I respect
Speaker 1: that you don't want me to see some things or
Speaker 1: do some things that you had to do, and you'll
Speaker 1: always protect your little girl and I love you for that, Dad.
Speaker 1: But all I'm asking is, kid, we talk about it,
Speaker 1: is this? Can this be an ongoing discussion? And if
Speaker 1: you say no, I'm gonna honor you. I'm gonna honor
Speaker 1: your word on this. But all I ask is that
Speaker 1: we just keep the door open that possibly in the
Speaker 1: future you can consider what a career in the military
Speaker 1: might look for me. What if you started there, Michaelum,
Speaker 1: that's what I think you should do. I'll say it
Speaker 1: one more here. Subject line says feeling lost and behind. Hey,
Speaker 1: grand I'd like to remain anonymous. I'm twenty four years old.
Speaker 1: Recently decided to move in with my older brother, his wife,
Speaker 1: and they're two older kids in order to save money.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I read that wrong. His wife and their
Speaker 1: two year old kid, in order to save money for
Speaker 1: a house I planned to buy within six months. I
Speaker 1: could stay here, but it would take me possibly years
Speaker 1: to say save up of what I could in just
Speaker 1: months of living with them. With how high rent is.
Speaker 1: Right now, I've always felt ahead of my peers in
Speaker 1: life thus far, and have been living on my own
Speaker 1: for six years. I'm scared to go backwards with my independence.
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna I'm gonna save money and reach
Speaker 1: my goals faster, but I can't help feeling like I'm
Speaker 1: a failure. On top of all this, I'm really struggling
Speaker 1: with feeling behind while all my other friends are getting
Speaker 1: married and having kids. I'm also content being single, but
Speaker 1: sometimes I feel the pressure to be always progressing. I
Speaker 1: want to enjoy this season without feeling like a failure.
Speaker 1: I've been praying to God for peace and guidance, but
Speaker 1: would love your opinion. Thank you, Thank you for all
Speaker 1: you do with your podcast. All right, Anonymous twenty four
Speaker 1: years old. Thank you for sharing and opening up here.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you I'm glad you did I'm glad
Speaker 1: you could trust me with that. And I appreciate your
Speaker 1: heart and where your heart is your position on all this.
Speaker 1: You're trying to do the right thing, and you're trying
Speaker 1: to do the best thing for your family and for
Speaker 1: you and for your future, and you're thinking through. The
Speaker 1: only part I don't like about your email really is
Speaker 1: when you started getting into this struggling feeling because of
Speaker 1: other people and what they're doing, and they're getting married
Speaker 1: and they're having kids and you're not. That's the part
Speaker 1: I don't like. And social media helps just make that
Speaker 1: a really big deal. Okay, so that's something you got
Speaker 1: to deal with outside of this problem itself, but that's
Speaker 1: also a normal feeling. So stop looking around. You see
Speaker 1: those people getting married. They're not as happy as you think.
Speaker 1: You see they're all having babies over there, They're not
Speaker 1: as happy as you think. I promise you. I promise you.
Speaker 1: Everyone is dealing with something. Everyone is struggling or feeling
Speaker 1: inadequate in some way. Okay, even if they're married and
Speaker 1: have kids and you don't. In fact, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of good, good things going on with you at twenty
Speaker 1: four years old and you're still single. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of good things. You got a clean slate right now,
Speaker 1: because I got a lot of people emailing that have
Speaker 1: problems at twenty four. They got divorces going on, they
Speaker 1: got child support, it's problems. You got a clean slate.
Speaker 1: You're doing good. I think you ask for my opinion.
Speaker 1: I think if you're your older brother and wife and
Speaker 1: two year old, if they're cool with this, if they
Speaker 1: feel good about this, I feel good about it. Moving
Speaker 1: in with them, you get a couple things out of this.
Speaker 1: You get to be an aunt to your two year
Speaker 1: old nephew right in a wather you never could if
Speaker 1: you didn't live there. So this is going to be
Speaker 1: a very special season because two year olds. I got
Speaker 1: almost two year old in my house right now. Two
Speaker 1: year olds are special in a lot of ways, good
Speaker 1: and bad. But they're absorbing the world around them, and
Speaker 1: it's really fun, really neat to see an aunt moves
Speaker 1: in and gets to be with this two year old
Speaker 1: in a very critical time, a very a time of
Speaker 1: growth for this child. I think it's really special. And
Speaker 1: if if the if mom and dad are cool with it,
Speaker 1: I think you go and you do this, and you
Speaker 1: you look at it from a perspective of you talking
Speaker 1: about independence, you're talking about progressing. Look at it as
Speaker 1: a moment a season of your life of serving. So
Speaker 1: you're gonna go in there and you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: serve your brother and your sister in law, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna help clean the house. You're gonna help out with groceries.
Speaker 1: You're gonna help with the two year old, which is huge.
Speaker 1: All it's huge to be able to go into like
Speaker 1: offer babysitting. You're gonna you're gonna help with yard work
Speaker 1: or you know, the different things around the house, different
Speaker 1: ways you can contribute and serve them because they need you.
Speaker 1: A family with a two year old and a young
Speaker 1: fan family, they need you come in and serve them.
Speaker 1: This is the season for serving, and what you get
Speaker 1: out of it is you're gonna get to save some
Speaker 1: rent money for the future. So I think if you
Speaker 1: go in and you have a plan and you say
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this four twelve months, maybe that's a
Speaker 1: good amount of time. We're gonna do this for twelve months.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna serve you, and you're gonna write it down
Speaker 1: so you don't ever become a mooch. But you're gonna
Speaker 1: be like, I'm gonna do this, this, this for you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna babysit two days a week, I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: care of I'm gonna cook a meal once a week. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna help you with this and this right,
Speaker 1: and then you've got it in writing. There's no ambiguous
Speaker 1: problems going on, like these dishes are always out. But
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's my responsibility or not, okay,
Speaker 1: because that stuff could happen. And then you just pour
Speaker 1: into your little nephew and then you save money. I
Speaker 1: think this is a great plan. I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with it. And all the while, you're not
Speaker 1: caring about other people or what they're doing, or although
Speaker 1: all your friends getting married, you're not thinking about that
Speaker 1: because you are investing in your future, not only by
Speaker 1: saving money, but by learning how to serve your family.
Speaker 1: I think it's great. That's all we have today, guys.
Speaker 1: Sure love y'all. We'll see you next Monday. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys.
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.