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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I don't welcome to

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Speaker 1: stuff I've never told your protection. I heart radio. Samantha.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever watch The X Files? I watched a

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Speaker 1: couple of episodes, but you have to remember I grew

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Speaker 1: up in a very Christian home and anything about aliens,

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Speaker 1: as well as the fact that, you know, I think

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Speaker 1: the obvious sexual chemistry that was supposed to be there

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Speaker 1: between the two characters was like a no no o

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Speaker 1: my house. Wow okay, And I think I was too

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Speaker 1: young to really get into it. So and when I

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Speaker 1: stay too young, as in like I didn't sneak off

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Speaker 1: on myself to try to watch it anywhere, right right, right? Right? Okay? Huh. Well,

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Speaker 1: I loved The X Files, and I think I've told

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Speaker 1: the story before. But me and my friend would watch

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Speaker 1: it because we were watching it, you know, ye olden times,

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Speaker 1: and we were neighbors that we would get on like

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Speaker 1: a landline phone and we would watch it together. But

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Speaker 1: her TV was slightly faster than mine, so I would

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Speaker 1: hear her gasp like right before something scary happened. I too,

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Speaker 1: was not supposed to watch it for a while, but

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Speaker 1: that's because the Killer B episode scared me so badly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to think back, because I was thirteen when

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Speaker 1: it first started. How old were you? I would have

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Speaker 1: been like five, so that they let you watch it

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Speaker 1: at five. I think I started in later. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I started from the very beginning. I went back,

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Speaker 1: but my older brother watched it, so it's possible that

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Speaker 1: it was on and I was just around. But I

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Speaker 1: think I watched that Killer b when I was like

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Speaker 1: seven or eight. Oh, it scared me to this day.

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Speaker 1: Killer bees big meters. I don't blame you, uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: which is interesting because I did have the phobia of

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Speaker 1: aliens as well. But there are certain things that for

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Speaker 1: some reason I was able to put up with when

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Speaker 1: it came to that phobia. I don't know why, but

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Speaker 1: that was that was a big part of the prank

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Speaker 1: that was played on me. But I bring this up

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Speaker 1: because it is Pride Month as we're recording this. Who

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Speaker 1: knows when you're actually listening to this, and we wanted

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Speaker 1: to bring back our two partner that we did on

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Speaker 1: bisexuality with just this host a wonderful guest. Yes, um,

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Speaker 1: some of our very favorites and one of the stories

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Speaker 1: I often tell is how watching that show was my

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Speaker 1: first inkling that I might be bisexual because I was

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Speaker 1: attracted to both Molder and Scully and I was very

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Speaker 1: confused by this. And it's not an isolated experience. I

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Speaker 1: know at least two other people that had the same

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Speaker 1: thing with that show. Um, the amount of jokes about

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Speaker 1: having threesomes with Scully and Molder look alike, it's pretty rampant.

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Speaker 1: As the fact is in a Sex and the City episode. Yes, wow,

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Speaker 1: you're welcome. I mean it made a huge impact. Like

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Speaker 1: the other day, we were talking about the Scully effect,

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Speaker 1: which is a name that was given and is still

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Speaker 1: used for trying to recruit people into women and girls

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Speaker 1: into stem or Steam specifically, and then I know this

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Speaker 1: is in our fan fiction episode, but I wanted to

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Speaker 1: share the story again because I don't know that you

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Speaker 1: know this, Samantha. But Exiles fan fiction was one of

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Speaker 1: the first big like magazine but online fan fiction as well,

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Speaker 1: even though there was not really a website for it. It

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Speaker 1: It was kind of like those bulletin board things people

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Speaker 1: used to do. And the fan fiction got so big

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Speaker 1: in Scotland that Scotland Yard investigated because they thought it

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Speaker 1: was some type of cult writing. That's exile fiction. That's amazing. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I've never read excele spand fiction. Mhm the guest time.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that would be so fun. I should

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Speaker 1: I should do that because it would be such a

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Speaker 1: blast from the pastor me. Anyway, please enjoy part one

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Speaker 1: of this classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and Samaita,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to stuff I've never told to your protection

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Speaker 1: of I heart radio and how stuff works. So trigger

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Speaker 1: warning right off the bat for this one. Um, we're

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Speaker 1: talking about bisexuality to day, and along with that, we

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Speaker 1: are going to talk about some some aspects of sexual assaults, suicidality,

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Speaker 1: mental health issues, and domestic violence. Right and um, of

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Speaker 1: course it's now no longer Pride Month, but I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go ahead and celebrate Pride Year. Can we do that? Um,

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Speaker 1: so happy Pride Year everyone, anyway. UM, just coming in.

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Speaker 1: So in our last episode on sexuality, I incorrectly stated

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Speaker 1: from a source the binary definition, which brought on several

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Speaker 1: reactions on both our emails. I believe in our social

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Speaker 1: media and I wanted to make sure that we came

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Speaker 1: back and addressed it because I do not want to

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Speaker 1: be a part of the biphobic culture, and I want

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Speaker 1: to celebrate everything that has to do with loving two people.

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Speaker 1: That's just kind of the end of statement. And I

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Speaker 1: was horrified. I was like, I don't I don't know

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Speaker 1: want I just did UM. And of course we have

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Speaker 1: had in past hosts do episodes and they were very good.

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Speaker 1: They were very good. And I came and kind of

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Speaker 1: like kind of pounced on that in one sentence, and

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Speaker 1: so I was like, Annie, we gotta make it clear

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Speaker 1: that we want to make sure we educate because I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be part of the problem. And I

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Speaker 1: also want to say on air that I pologize for

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Speaker 1: the incorrect statement. UM. And so we came together and

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Speaker 1: I've had so many different reactions, like I said on

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Speaker 1: social media, and UM, I wanted to make sure that

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Speaker 1: I got to talk to them, and with that I

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Speaker 1: didn't meet or actually, I'll say, meat is that meat?

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Speaker 1: If I don't make that a really long discussion about

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Speaker 1: this other day because the meat feels kind of not real.

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Speaker 1: But I want to be like friends with everybody, Like

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Speaker 1: I've talked to you now and we've bonded over a

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Speaker 1: few things. So I was gonna say, I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's real. I just it also has an I think

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Speaker 1: it's dismissed. It sounds funny when I type thanks to

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Speaker 1: meet you, he meet you. Um, so I'll just say

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Speaker 1: I met yes, um, several people that had responded to

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Speaker 1: that episode, and we have a few people that I

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Speaker 1: did talk with on this episode, and we interviewed several

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Speaker 1: people who specialize in a specific field that includes the

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Speaker 1: LGBTQ community as well, specifically to buy community. Um and

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Speaker 1: so from the very beginning, I want you to know

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Speaker 1: this is my man cupa to that statement. Yes, and I, um,

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Speaker 1: I'm also sorry because I was bad co host. I

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Speaker 1: should have caught it and I didn't. Um. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: just I apologize for any damage or confusion we've caused.

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Speaker 1: There's already a lot out there. We don't want to

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Speaker 1: add to it. Um. So I'm really thrilled that we

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Speaker 1: have everyone that we got to talk to you to day.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm always I'm amazed that people agreed to talk

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Speaker 1: to were so cool. All right. I think several of

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Speaker 1: our episodes like can we be friends? Yes? Yes? Um

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Speaker 1: so yeah, this has been this episode has been a

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Speaker 1: long time coming. Um. We did touch on it in

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Speaker 1: the episode Bridget and I did on pan sexuality and

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Speaker 1: Kristen Caroline pasco host, they did an episode on it

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Speaker 1: um and yeah, we have so many good conversations. This

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Speaker 1: is going to be a two parter. Everybody was delightful. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's too much. We couldn't say I just couldn't say. No.

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Speaker 1: I want to keep you and you and you keep going.

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Speaker 1: And um. One of our interviewees, uh Dr Tanngela Roberts Um,

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Speaker 1: she used a term that I've never heard before, called

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Speaker 1: me search and she's going to go into that later.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes I feel like I'm doing that on this show,

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Speaker 1: like right, oh, this is me search because um, for

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Speaker 1: people who don't know. For a long time, I did

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Speaker 1: identify as bisexual. UM. And now thanks to this podcast,

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Speaker 1: I believe I have arrived at by romantic a sexual.

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Speaker 1: So thanks to everybody who wrote in about it, appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: Feel like being able to define it gives you a

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Speaker 1: little more I don't know what the word is. Do

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Speaker 1: you feel more complete or how do you feel about

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Speaker 1: defining to have an actual definition of it. I feel

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Speaker 1: more clarity around things that I have done in my

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Speaker 1: life and less confusion and especially looking back around conversations

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Speaker 1: I had with friends when I was in high school

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Speaker 1: and college, and everybody was so like into wanting to

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Speaker 1: have sex or having sex, and I just was pretending

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Speaker 1: like going along with it and didn't feel it. But

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I did experience some kind of

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Speaker 1: like attraction UM to multiple genders, so I couldn't figure

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Speaker 1: it out, I guess, and for anyone who's UM wondering,

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Speaker 1: for a very brief definition, romantic attraction usually involves an

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Speaker 1: emotional and or physical attraction UM, which is often tied

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Speaker 1: to sexual attraction but not always. Sexual attraction is a

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Speaker 1: desire for sexual contact and sexual relationship, and some people

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Speaker 1: feel both, some people feel neither, some people feel one

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Speaker 1: or the other. It might very based on the person.

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Speaker 1: It might vary based on what phasier and in your life. UM.

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Speaker 1: So it is I feel mostly clarity and a story

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Speaker 1: I brought up in a lot of these interviews and

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Speaker 1: I was asking questions is how a friend and I

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago were talking about how we

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Speaker 1: didn't know by was a thing when we were growing up,

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Speaker 1: but we were just confused that we liked both Molder

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Speaker 1: and Scully on the show The X Files, and almost

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Speaker 1: everyone we interviewed, was like, yes, it made my nerd

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Speaker 1: heart grow ten sizes. Um, there just wasn't awareness around it.

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Speaker 1: And in a lot of ways that is still problem.

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Speaker 1: Right as I got older and I realized I was

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Speaker 1: attracted to more than one gender, I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: say it out loud because I felt like I could

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Speaker 1: pass as straight and that I had access to heterosexual privilege.

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Speaker 1: I had no right saying that I was in any

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Speaker 1: way a part of the LGBTQ plus community. And this

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Speaker 1: is something I still struggle with. And I have definitely

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Speaker 1: just kind of been strugged off before as either you're

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Speaker 1: being experimental or one day you'll realize you're lesbian or something. Right, Um,

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Speaker 1: And I'm not aloning that and we'll get into that

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Speaker 1: more later as well. Um. And I will say when

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Speaker 1: I was in high school, I was I was well liked,

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Speaker 1: but I was seen as weird. There were a lot

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Speaker 1: of rumors about me. Um. So when I started displaying

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Speaker 1: attraction to more than one gen, people would sort of

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Speaker 1: be like, well, that's so Danny being Annie. She's a

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Speaker 1: little strange. Um, she's like that voice, she's that's because

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Speaker 1: that's how they are in my head that I like

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Speaker 1: to remember them. She's just looking for a thrill, she's

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Speaker 1: just trying to be interesting. And I did internalize a

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Speaker 1: lot of that. Um So that is something that in

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Speaker 1: my own honestly very limited experience growing up in a

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Speaker 1: small town, I did see. So. Uh. But that's enough

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Speaker 1: about me, never and us, thank you. You can have

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Speaker 1: a lot of ground to cover, right, So let's get

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Speaker 1: into our interviews, and we'll start with some intros and

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Speaker 1: let them talk about some of the badass stuff they're doing. Hi.

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Speaker 1: My name is Dr Tanngela Roberts, I used to her

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Speaker 1: her pronouns. I am an assist professor of Childing Psychology

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Speaker 1: at Western Michigan University in Calamazoom, Michigan. UM. I have

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Speaker 1: a background in Calfrank psychology. UM I do research on

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Speaker 1: LGBT population, specifically with bisexuality and LGBT people of color,

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Speaker 1: and clinical work similarly with LGBT population and adolescent So.

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Speaker 1: I'm Diana Adams and I have been a bisexuality activist

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Speaker 1: for twenty years. I'm also an activist as a polyamorous person,

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Speaker 1: and I have a nonprofit of which i'm executive director,

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Speaker 1: Chosen Family Law Center, that supports people who are lgbt

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Speaker 1: Q I as well as people who are polyamorous and

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Speaker 1: an alternative family structures such as platonic co parenting. And

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Speaker 1: I have a peak law firm UM that serves private

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Speaker 1: clients UM based in New York City, and I'm excited

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Speaker 1: to be on to speak about some of the issues

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Speaker 1: of being bisexuality in the LGBTQ commit Continuum. I am

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Speaker 1: Herrn Greensmith. I am the senior Research analysts of Political

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Speaker 1: Research Associate, where I monitor the anti lgbt TO I

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Speaker 1: write here in the US and abroad, and I'm also

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Speaker 1: a volunteers because the attorney for bisexual and tense sexual communities.

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Speaker 1: So I have a personal label and a community label.

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Speaker 1: My personal label is queer because I think UM identify

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Speaker 1: and I've heard other folks identify UM with using it

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Speaker 1: as a way to say quickly to someone I am

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Speaker 1: not is this gender heterosexual person? You may not know

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Speaker 1: exactly how my queerness manifest but I'm not assist straight

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Speaker 1: person UM and for me personally, queerness as I struggle

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Speaker 1: kind of to identify what exactly my gender identity is

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Speaker 1: UM as I struggled to deal with by phobia internalized

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Speaker 1: by phobia. Queer for me is a way in my

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Speaker 1: heart to maintain my action to my communities as my

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Speaker 1: labels and my gender identity are influx. UM. On the

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Speaker 1: other hand, bisexual is my community label because those are

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Speaker 1: the people who I march with in pride, Those are

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Speaker 1: the people who whose pins I wear. Those are my best, deepest,

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Speaker 1: you know, most important and powerful relationships in the queer

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Speaker 1: community at large, the people who might share the most

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Speaker 1: experiences with of buy invisibility and by erat or um

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Speaker 1: from gay, lesbian and straight people. UM and so I

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Speaker 1: will always be the community that I'm allied with. But

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Speaker 1: I identify as a queer person UM, and I use

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Speaker 1: that to mean I'm not straight and siff. I am

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Speaker 1: Tanya Israel. I'm a professor of tompling clinical and school

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Speaker 1: psychology at the University California, Santa Barbara, and I UM

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Speaker 1: do a lot of work around bisexuality. I've been doing

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Speaker 1: research on how to best help LGBT que people UM

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Speaker 1: to thrive and with their potential. UM. I've been doing

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Speaker 1: that for over twenty years now. UM. And the b

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Speaker 1: part of it was was a piece of it, but

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Speaker 1: it hadn't been so much the focus until three years ago.

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Speaker 1: I was reading this book about public speaking and it

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Speaker 1: was about how to give a TED talk, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I know what I would want to

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Speaker 1: give a TED talk about. And so that led me

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Speaker 1: down this path of actually giving a talk at TED

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Speaker 1: XBC l A on bisexuality and beyond. I had the

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Speaker 1: whole you know, concept that that I was that I

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Speaker 1: was sharing, and but then once I did that and

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Speaker 1: it was up on YouTube, it was like, oh, now

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Speaker 1: I am Tanya Israel International Expert on bisexuality. Yeah. So

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Speaker 1: so suddenly, you know, people are asking me to come

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Speaker 1: and give talks and you know, do all these things

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Speaker 1: throughout bisexuality. I was like, this is great. I love

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Speaker 1: doing this. I you know, got invited to, you know,

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Speaker 1: be part of a gathering of a bunch of researchers

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Speaker 1: about who are doing work on bisexual health. UM. I

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Speaker 1: got invited to the UH White House Bisexual Community Policy

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Speaker 1: Forum UM and there were two of those that happened

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Speaker 1: in the previous administration UM and UH and and then

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Speaker 1: recently I taught a course on bisexuality at UCSB and

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Speaker 1: so so it's just become much more of a focus

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Speaker 1: of what I'm doing, including my research, my teaching, my activism. UM.

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Speaker 1: When I started doing all of these things around bisexuality

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Speaker 1: all over the country, I was feeling in such by

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Speaker 1: community and then I was like, I have to bring

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Speaker 1: that back home. So then I I started a bisexual

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Speaker 1: discussion group in Santa Barbara where I live, and that's

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Speaker 1: been going on for a couple of years. Now. I'm

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Speaker 1: part of a statewide grant on lgbt Q mental health

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Speaker 1: where I'm specifically focusing on like supporting bi sexual mental health.

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Speaker 1: So it's really exciting for me that I've been able

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Speaker 1: to to do a lot more of this because I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's such an important um part of the

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Speaker 1: LGBTQ community, and also, by the way, I'm bisexual, so

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Speaker 1: it has a lot of personal meaning for me as well.

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Speaker 1: We tend to assume people are the sexual orientation depending

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Speaker 1: on the sex of whatever partner they are with, if

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Speaker 1: they're gay or a straight or lesbian. One article I

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Speaker 1: found on medium described being by as being Schrodinger's cat,

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Speaker 1: appearing either straight or gay when observed, but being both

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Speaker 1: at once when unobserved. Tanya and she said we could

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Speaker 1: call her that even though she's a doctor and if

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Speaker 1: I was a doctor, doctor all the time, I was

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Speaker 1: like to turn this, I will not call you anything

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Speaker 1: about doctor. She has on an amazing way of dealing

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Speaker 1: with this head on. So you know, one of the

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Speaker 1: things for people who are bisexual is that you have

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Speaker 1: to come out constantly because you know, there's not a

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Speaker 1: way that people can tell you by the gender of

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Speaker 1: your partner or your history or anything like that you're

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Speaker 1: bisexual specifically. So I have these business cards that say

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Speaker 1: um Tanya Israel, um Biracial Asian, American, Bisexual, Jewish, Buddhist seminist.

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Speaker 1: So I become like like a professional bisexual. I would say,

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Speaker 1: like I am out there everywhere that I am like,

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Speaker 1: I am representing bisexuality really loudly and soundly, because time

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Speaker 1: of it is I feel fine being allowed and found

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Speaker 1: bisexual and not everybody does, and so I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's fine. I'm happy to do this and be out

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Speaker 1: there for all of us. Um. I think that the

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Speaker 1: bisexual community is really diverse, and and I embrace like,

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Speaker 1: like the whole bisexual communities, people who are out of,

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Speaker 1: people who aren't out, people who are you know, in

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Speaker 1: relationship with people of whatever gender, people who aren't in relationship,

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Speaker 1: people who don't want to be activists, that don't even

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Speaker 1: want to you know, people to know like like they're

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Speaker 1: all part of bisexual community, and I'm like, okay, my

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Speaker 1: my role in all of this is to just be

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Speaker 1: like the joyful, um, you know, out there bisexual person.

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Speaker 1: So now you've met our amazing panels, let's get started

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Speaker 1: with a baseline definition. Pretty much all of our interviewees

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Speaker 1: brought up the definition of Robin Oaks. Here's heron I

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Speaker 1: knews Um. Robin Oakes's definition. Robin is a form mother

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Speaker 1: of the community. She has been an advocate for forty years.

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Speaker 1: She runs the Boston by Women's Network here in Boston

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Speaker 1: and it's also um the editor of the By Women's Quarterly,

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Speaker 1: which is a quarterly newsletter that comes out the only

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Speaker 1: new letter in the world focused on by women, and

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Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to submit. Robin the finds bisexuality as

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Speaker 1: having the potential to be attracted to people of more

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Speaker 1: than one gender. UM doesn't matter, the degree doesn't matter,

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Speaker 1: the intensity doesn't matter, the time frame, UM, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: matter if the attraction is romantic or sexual, or aesthetic

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Speaker 1: or um other variations on attraction. UM as long as

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Speaker 1: you have the potential to be attracted to people into

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Speaker 1: more than one gender, Um, you are you can call

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Speaker 1: yourself bisexual. There you go. For some folks, there is

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Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety around the buy in bisexual that

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Speaker 1: it supports the gender binary, and along with that some

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Speaker 1: confusion around the difference between pen and by, like we

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Speaker 1: were talking about earlier, we asked our interviewees about this.

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Speaker 1: I got linked with you through Twitter because of my

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Speaker 1: miss misstep and miss speaking in the previous podcasts of sexuality,

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Speaker 1: which was obviously very outdated and very two like one

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Speaker 1: sided obviously, and you had reached out it's saying these

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Speaker 1: are the things that are incorrect, let's talk. And I

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Speaker 1: love that. And one of the things that we were

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Speaker 1: talking about you were kind of linking us to was

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Speaker 1: the fact that this is a misconception when I was

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Speaker 1: speaking about two genders, mainly because it obviously is bigger

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Speaker 1: than that. Also it was excluding the transgender world and

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Speaker 1: people of community as well, and that was very very telling.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness, she's right and I

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Speaker 1: want to know more about it. So if you don't mind,

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Speaker 1: can you speak to UM what exactly is the definition

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Speaker 1: of bisexuality and then just some of the things all

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Speaker 1: around that absolutely, and I really appreciate you being willing

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Speaker 1: to listen. I think these issues are really complicated and

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Speaker 1: the LGBTQ community is evolving really quickly, which is exciting,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes it can be hard for people even in

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Speaker 1: the community to keep up, So thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for being willing to listen. The current definition of bisexuality

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Speaker 1: for many people in the by community is being sexually

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Speaker 1: attracted and romantically attracted, not exclusively to people of one gender,

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Speaker 1: so allowing for the possibility that the buy as in binary,

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Speaker 1: being attracted to people um, who are of your sexual

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Speaker 1: gender and people of the whole other set of potential

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Speaker 1: sexism genders um. And so really it takes away that

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Speaker 1: male female binary um and allows attraction to people who

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Speaker 1: are not just this gender, but people who are transgender

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Speaker 1: as well. And that's an identity and a definition which

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Speaker 1: has evolved over time as we've understood more and included

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Speaker 1: an embrace the transgender community more actively. And I think

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Speaker 1: that it's really common in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender

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Speaker 1: community for a lot of emphasis to be placed on

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Speaker 1: same sex couples and both bisexual community and transgender community

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Speaker 1: can sometimes feel a bit left out of some of

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Speaker 1: the conversations about um these issues, which often mostly focus

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Speaker 1: on less in our gay couples. And I think it's

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Speaker 1: really important that as by people we have solidarity with

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Speaker 1: transgender people. And there are some people who identify as

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Speaker 1: pan sexual and people talk sometimes about the definition of

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Speaker 1: bisexuality versus pan sexuality, and pan sexuality is explicitly trying

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Speaker 1: to make very clear in its wording with the with

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Speaker 1: the prefixed pan that it includes multiple potential genders, which

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Speaker 1: would include people who are transgender, people who are intersex potentially,

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Speaker 1: and it's I think intended to make that very clear.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's actually really important for us to

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Speaker 1: hang onto the word bisexual as well. I support people

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Speaker 1: in choosing whichever word makes the most sense to them,

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Speaker 1: but bisexual feels important to me because that's our legal

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Speaker 1: and medical designation and we need to really hang onto that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'll start with like, yeah, there is the

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Speaker 1: term by in the in the label by sexual UM.

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Speaker 1: That's a very very like scientific term, right um. And

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Speaker 1: that term and the definition that goes with that term

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Speaker 1: wasn't derived from the community from bisexual communities. Um. And

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Speaker 1: So typically bisexual communities have definitions that they use. Um.

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Speaker 1: I don't tend to like believe in like monolithic community,

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Speaker 1: so I don't think there's like one LGBT community or

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Speaker 1: one bisexual community. Um. But bisexual communities have definitions that

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Speaker 1: they use. The photo define the orientation. So it's like

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Speaker 1: if someone were to ask me how I identify my bisexuality,

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Speaker 1: I usually say that I'm attracted to similar and different genders, right,

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Speaker 1: So I identify as like a assist sim woman right.

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Speaker 1: So similar would be like any for me, any sim

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Speaker 1: expression from anyone that's similar um and different literally for

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Speaker 1: me is anything that's not a SAM expression, so everything

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Speaker 1: else um so expression of masculinity, expressions of it, androgeny um.

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Speaker 1: And so that's sort of like how I identify it.

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Speaker 1: And for me, that's been that's that's been inclusive of

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Speaker 1: a lot of things and a lot of people. Um.

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Speaker 1: Not necessarily and definitely not dependent just on like biological

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Speaker 1: sex or a science sex that worst, but more so

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Speaker 1: UM expression. But I said, some people hear me when

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Speaker 1: I say the definition and then say like, oh, well

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Speaker 1: you can, but I don't. I don't understand when, especially

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Speaker 1: among career communities. I don't understand what it's ever acceptable

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Speaker 1: to identify someone for themselves as opposed to going with

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Speaker 1: that person's definition for themselves. But it seems like with

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Speaker 1: by places, by people, it's okay, it's okay to say

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Speaker 1: how you're using this word is wrong, how you're using

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Speaker 1: this definition is wrong, and you need to use something else.

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Speaker 1: But outside of that, no one would ever do that.

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Speaker 1: No one would ever say, like your definition of um,

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Speaker 1: I don't trans or gender queer or queer in general

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Speaker 1: is wrong and you need to use that. No one

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Speaker 1: would ever ever do that. However you identify as how

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Speaker 1: you identify and which is roll with it. But by

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Speaker 1: people it tends to be a little bit different because

428
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: they're all those stereotypes and stigmas. So I had you

429
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: heard this thing about bisexuality, that the term is problematic

430
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: because by means too. So if you say you're bisexual,

431
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 1: then does that mean that you're attracted only to two

432
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: genders and that there are only two genders? And does that, um,

433
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,159
Speaker 1: you know, reinforce this idea that gender is binary. And

434
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, I don't think gender is binary.

435
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: I think gender is really multidimensional and UM and not dichotomous,

436
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: you know, so that there's lots, there's probably infinite genders.

437
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: And so I started questioning my use of this term bisexual,

438
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: and that's sort of what started me on this track. Part. Okay, well,

439
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: then what could I call myself because I, you know,

440
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 1: because I want to represent in some way that I

441
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: think that gender is non binary UM. But at the

442
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: same time, I was really kind of connected to this

443
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: bisexual identity UM. And And here's something that I want

444
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: to say about the bisexual identity because a live times

445
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 1: when people have this keat, they're like, oh, you know, bisexuality,

446
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: it's it's UM. You know, it's it's like a conservative

447
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: thing because it's saying that gender is UM is binary.

448
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: But really, when you think about the history of UM

449
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: people embracing that term bisexuality, particularly, I would say, like

450
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: in the eighties and nineties, when bisexual activism really started

451
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: to grow more, UM, it was a radical thing to

452
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: say that you could be attracted some more than one gender.

453
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: And it's you know, I think that this saying that

454
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: really is UM is a radical way of combating UM,

455
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: this idea of psychotomous gender. You know, binary gender, you know,

456
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: just saying the gender might not be the most important,

457
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: saying or genders aren't necessarily opposite, that you can actually

458
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: love more than one gender. I think it's radical, and

459
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 1: so I hated the idea of giving up these kind

460
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: of radical roots of the of of my bisexual identity. Um.

461
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, I don't

462
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: want to do anything that that's not inclusive of people

463
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: with non binary gender because that's something that I, you know,

464
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: really um want to support. So I started thinking about

465
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: it and realized that, you know, there's there's sometimes the

466
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: difference between how we how we understand gender and who

467
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: were attracted to so um. So, I mean, a lot

468
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: of people are only attracted to one gender, it seems.

469
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: And and it's funny how we don't say, if you're

470
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: a heterosexual, lesbian or gay, then you're reinforcing binary gender

471
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: because you're only attracted to one gender. Like how limiting

472
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: is that only being attracted to one gender? Like we're

473
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: not we're not sort of critiquing those other sexual orientations

474
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: in the same way that we're critiquing bisexuality. So I

475
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: was like, maybe we need a way to to describe

476
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: how we understand gender, that's different from how we describe

477
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: what our actual attractions are. Um. And so that sort

478
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: of led me in a conversation with with some of

479
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: my friends colleagues, UM, Roger Worthington and Rebecca for if

480
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: we're having this whole conversation about like what do we

481
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: do about this term? You know, and they were sort

482
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: of providing the guides, and Roger Woodlin who said, well

483
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: what about you know, because I said, I don't think

484
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,719
Speaker 1: gender is just too I think it's more than two.

485
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: I think it's infinite, you know. And he's like, well,

486
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: then what about PI sexuality? And I would like PI

487
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: sexuality That's exactly it. It's more than two, it's infinite.

488
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: Although all the mathematician people are going to be like,

489
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: if not infinite, it's irrational, and so that's a whole

490
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: mathematic thing. Um, I don't think bisexual people are irrational. Um,

491
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: but I want a way for us, so like represent Okay,

492
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: maybe PI sexuality is a way of saying I think

493
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: dender is non binary, and then you can be pisexual

494
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: and then also describe your own attractions and relationships in

495
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: whatever way you want, and you could be a PI

496
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: sexual bisexual, which I describe myself as. You could be

497
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: a pi sexual UM gay man. You could be a

498
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: pisexual like non binary, UM, a sexual person like you

499
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: could be like there's all kinds of like different things

500
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: that you could be. But a way of saying here's

501
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: how I understand gender, and then a different way of saying,

502
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: here's my attraction. I think I want to I want

503
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: to talk a little bit about anomalogy UM because I

504
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: think that behind somewhat of the Pan and Buy controversy

505
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: is this reliance upon etymology UM to justify the validity

506
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: of a sexual orientation. And I just want to highlight

507
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: that for the absolute both it is that non manufactual people,

508
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: people who have the potential to be attracted to more

509
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: than one gender, are the only ones who are asked

510
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: to justify the etymology of the label that they use. UM.

511
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 1: So what I mean by that is by people are

512
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: told all the time, but by these two PAN means

513
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: all you should be PAN. It's more inclusive. It doesn't

514
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: UM reify the gender binary, to which I say, yeah,

515
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: gay means happy, lesbian means from an island in Greece,

516
00:31:55,120 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: and straight means level and even. But I don't ask

517
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: you to prove that you're happy all the time that

518
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: you're from Greece. Please don't demand that I stand behind

519
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: the etymology of the label that people commonly use right now,

520
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: for folks who are attracted to more than one gender,

521
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: it's absolute nonsense. But if we want to talk about

522
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: a sexual orientation reifying the gender binary, how about we

523
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: talk about straight and gain lesbian people who are either

524
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: attracted to the opposite the quote unquote opposite gender or

525
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: the quote unquote same gender. If anyone is reaffying the

526
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: gender binary, it's straight and gain lesbian people. But we

527
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: don't accuse them of that because we know that's a

528
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: specious accusation. Let's please not accused non monosexual people of

529
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: reifying the gender binary. I know so many trans bisexual

530
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: people who are being sick of being told that they

531
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: are reifying the gender binary, especially non binary by people.

532
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: It's just bo. Now that we have some definitions and

533
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: some etymology, it's time to look at some numbers. That first,

534
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: we're going to pausity a quick break or word from

535
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: our sponsor, and we're back, Thank you sponsor. So what

536
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: do statistics tell us about the bisexual community? Here's here

537
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: and again. So one of the reasons I think it's

538
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: so important to focus not on, you know, whether someone

539
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: identifies as by your pans um, but focuses on what

540
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: the disparities are feasing the larger non monosexual community is

541
00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: that non monosexual folks comprise the majority non nonosexual identified people,

542
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 1: that is, people who identify as bisexual. And then in

543
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: some surveys, people who identify as bisexual or pan sexual

544
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: comprise the majority of lesbian gay and by folks, they

545
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: comprise over half of lesbian gay bisexual people. And then

546
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: when you look at people who have had sexual contact

547
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: with people of more than one gender, you're now up to,

548
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of times more than people who

549
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: have had sexual contacts with only a gender similar to theirs.

550
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: And then finally, when you look at people who have

551
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: experienced sexual attraction to people of more than one gender,

552
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: now you're up In some studies even to like half

553
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: of youth have said that they have the possibility of

554
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: attraction to more than one gender. So we are we

555
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 1: meaning non monosexual people, are you know, more than half

556
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 1: of lesbian, gay, bisexual identify people. And then when you

557
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: start talking about possibility for attraction you're up to maybe

558
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 1: have some youth. So we are an enormous part and

559
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 1: in fact of the majority of the lgb community. And

560
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 1: I should add here that trans people can be straight, gay,

561
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: left being or by to somebodies that show that trans

562
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: people are more more likely to identify UM as buyer pans.

563
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:30,280
Speaker 1: But you know, we don't have any dedicated services or programs.

564
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: We have no funded national group. We have very few uh,

565
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: dedicated programs or departments that any of the LGBT organizations

566
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: I can't think of actually any. We have no paid

567
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: staff at any of your organizations, any of the by

568
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: community organizations that do exist UM. There is an absolute

569
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 1: dirf of funding UM and that lack of support, supportive services,

570
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 1: supportive program combine aimed with the bias that bisexual and

571
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: tense sexual people faith from gay lestian an strate people.

572
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: I mean, we have disparities in really distinct areas. I

573
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: will highlight a couple with here. We have distinct health disparities,

574
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: and the one that always bolts me over is our

575
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: mental health disparities. The Youth Risk Behavior Survey is an

576
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: annual survey administered in nearly every state and has an

577
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 1: optional module that asks sexual orientation and sexual attraction and

578
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:39,320
Speaker 1: sexual behavior among girls and apologies for the very gendered language,

579
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: but that's the language used in the third. Among girls

580
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: who identified as bisexual in states the administered the optional

581
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 1: module in twenty I believe sixteen one third of bisexual

582
00:36:55,520 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: identified girls had attempted suicide in the past twelve months.

583
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 1: One third. That is a very big number. It is

584
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: justin when you think of how many girls identify as bisexual.

585
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: You know, some data shows it's like up to ten

586
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 1: or twenty of girls and bisexual. You're looking at a

587
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,280
Speaker 1: public health crisis. And then when you add the fact

588
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: that there are not dedicated mental health services for by you,

589
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 1: you're looking that a mental health crisis that is only

590
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: going to worsen when people look around and try and

591
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 1: find supportive communities and don't find anything, and then maybe

592
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 1: they access to their gender sexuality alliance at their school

593
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 1: and they only face by phobia or pan phobia. The

594
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 1: second statistical talk about is our the levels of intimate

595
00:37:55,280 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: partner violence to buy people of day by people face

596
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 1: such intense levels of domestic partner and intimate partner and

597
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: sexual violence. But again it is a public health crisis.

598
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: I believe that des Indeed, I think maybe sent of

599
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 1: by women have faced violence from an intimate partner, and

600
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: percent of by women have been raped in their lifetime.

601
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: Half one in two by women has been raped. There's

602
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: an organization called and I think it's called the Northwest

603
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: Network of Intimate Partner Violence did a series of focus

604
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: groups around the country was by female survivors of violence

605
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: and trans and UH non binary UM and what they've

606
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 1: found from these qualitative interviews with the survivors of violence,

607
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: female survivors of violence is that the intimate partner violence

608
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: faced by by women does not conform sometimes to the

609
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: cycle of violence that service providers often looked to to

610
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: help people be safe. What they found instead was that

611
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 1: instead of there being like a ramping up of control

612
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: that may precede moments of physical violence, that often these

613
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: survivors talked about violence being preceded by a moment of

614
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: coming out as by or a partner realizing that their

615
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 1: partner was bisexual, and that being the flash point. And

616
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: again they're not being conversation about that, They're not being

617
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: open conversations about how biphobia leads to violence, about how

618
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: biophobia can lead to corrective rape, but how partners can

619
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 1: view the partners bi sexuality to isolate them from their

620
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: friends and family, to control them, to say that you know,

621
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: to use it as a weapon. UM. And given the

622
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: the number of women who identify as by again, you

623
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: have a public health crisis. And then the finals that

624
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: I'll mention is economic insecurity UM and I think it's

625
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: again forty percent of by women UM live at or below.

626
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: I think it's thirty thousand dollars a year for a

627
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: household UM. And you know, together you have a picture

628
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: of by people who face bias at work, who face

629
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 1: bias at school, who are being turned out by their family,

630
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 1: of homeless you identify as bisexual twenty percent, you have

631
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:03,280
Speaker 1: used who are being removed from their families by their parents,

632
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 1: who are facing violence in foster and adoptive placements, and

633
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: who are turning to streets. Then when they look for

634
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: supportive communities, they don't find by supportive communities, they find

635
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: UM violence with partners whom they may have to turn

636
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: to for housing or for food. You have a lack

637
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: of economic security, and you have isolation, erasure, and invisibility.

638
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: And this is not to say that by folks aren't resilient.

639
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:41,240
Speaker 1: We have an incredibly rising, beautiful community full of artists

640
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: and musicians and lawyers like myself and UM activists and advocates,

641
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: but what we also have is a crisis of erasier

642
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: and invisibility that is leading to directly to yes. So

643
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 1: that was very sobering for me, the lack of community

644
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 1: and the level of bias bisexuals face on all sides,

645
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 1: least to all sorts of negative outcomes. I'm I'm a

646
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: data geek. There's been some emerging research, um, you know

647
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: from Dr Roberts, who I extented VIE with and then

648
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: uh with Brian Dodge and Wendy Bostick. Um. But Dr

649
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: Dodge has been doing some incredible research into by its

650
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: facing bisexual people and actually has developed a metric to

651
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 1: measure it, and his emerging research is showing that BY

652
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: people face intense levels of bias and erasure and discrimination

653
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: from gay and lesbian and straight people. They face quantitatively

654
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: slightly more discrimination from straight people, which is unsurprising just

655
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,280
Speaker 1: given the fact that probably more gay and lesbian identified

656
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:01,399
Speaker 1: people know a BY person preely for proximities sake. Being

657
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: a queer community UM, whereas straight people may not know

658
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: a by person or out by person, either because out

659
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: by people don't feel safe to be out around a

660
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: straight person or because they don't have a one in

661
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: their friend or family circle. More likely that people don't

662
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:20,359
Speaker 1: feel safe to come out around them because we are everywhere. UM.

663
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: But what Dr Dodges research has shown is that bias

664
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: and narrature from gay and lesbian people hurt by people

665
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 1: so much more deeply. And I believe that's because we

666
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: are taught that we are supposed to be part of

667
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 1: the same community, right the queer community, LGBTQ community. We're

668
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: supposed to have community centers together and do a pride together,

669
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: and when you face bias within our supposed community, it

670
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 1: being hurt out in sense and just go UM. I

671
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:06,280
Speaker 1: believe it was a by group, although I can clarify

672
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 1: that looked at the mental health of women moving into

673
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: the day area from rural or suburban areas around the

674
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: cities Oakland and Champson is going Berkeley, UM and found

675
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 1: something really interesting and what you'll find this now unsurprising.

676
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: So both lesbians and by women in rural more rural

677
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: areas reported lower levels of UH mental health well being,

678
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: mental well being, And when the lesbian women moved into

679
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: the city, what do you suspect their mental well being did.

680
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: We're staring at each other, like, who's going to answer this.

681
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 1: I would think that it had increased obviously with a

682
00:44:57,239 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 1: little more access for them specifically. Factually, yeah, they found community.

683
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,479
Speaker 1: More specifically, they found places with like minded people, people

684
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: who had similar life experiences. They found programs and services

685
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: that supported them um and that improved their their mental health.

686
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: What about the buy women went down? I was going

687
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,919
Speaker 1: to say, you don't went down or stay the same

688
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 1: in the sense of it went down. It went down,

689
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: and I suspect that it went down because of their

690
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 1: level of expectation and then disappointment. You're like, I'm gonna

691
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: move to the city. I'm gonna find people like me,

692
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,959
Speaker 1: I'm going to finally be supported. I'm gonna find mental

693
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: health services. I'm going to find a community group and

694
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: it's like a chat group and we can go to dinner,

695
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: and then a there aren't those things, and then be

696
00:45:54,960 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: when you try and find community with other lgbt Q women,

697
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: you face science instead, and people say that you're not

698
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: queer enough to be part of their community. People interrogate

699
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: how many relationships you've had with people of speciftic genders,

700
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: and it can have an incredibly negative impact on your

701
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,799
Speaker 1: mental health. It turned out bisexual people's face a lot

702
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 1: of challenges related to mental health, and so so I'll

703
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about that, and then I can

704
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about why that is too in

705
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 1: terms of sexual orientation of you know, if you're looking

706
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,759
Speaker 1: at lesbian, gay, bisexual. And by the way, when I

707
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 1: say bisexual, um, you know, I sort of think about

708
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: that as the bi plus category of um all non

709
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 1: monosexual people. So people might identify as hand sexual, or

710
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: some people identify as queer um or polysexual. There's a

711
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: lot of different terms that people are going to use, UM.

712
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 1: But so when I say bisexual, to little bit poor

713
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 1: cand but but I'm thinking of it very exclusively. Bisexual people,

714
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: um are the most vulnerable sexual orientation in terms of

715
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: a lot of mental health issues. And some of these,

716
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:16,240
Speaker 1: you know, very a little bit depending on what's gender

717
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: of the bisexual person you're talking about. But there are

718
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: things like suicidality, anxiety, depressions, um, you know, really serious

719
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: things um uh, alcohol and other drug use. You know,

720
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: that there there are mental health um diagnoses and issues

721
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: that bisexual people faith more severely and more often than

722
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: other sexual orientations to. And people are sometimes surprised to

723
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: hear that because they say, well, but I thought bisexual

724
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 1: people like, uh, they've got heterosexual privilege and so you know,

725
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: they can pass and so and and it's easier than

726
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: being less iner gain a and so it's this is

727
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 1: why it's important that we like disaggregate the data, that

728
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: we pull out the data about the bisexual people so

729
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: we can really understand things, because it turns out that

730
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,439
Speaker 1: a lot of the mental health vulnerabilities that we've talked

731
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: about applying to lesbian, gay, bisexual people, really the bisexual

732
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: people in those samples are are the ones who are experiencing, um,

733
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 1: that pattern that we've been attributing to all sexual minority people. Okay,

734
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: so there there's a couple of things that are unique

735
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: stressors for bisexual people, UM that that aren't the same

736
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: for lesbian and gay people or heterosexual people. UM, but bisexuality, Uh,

737
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: people don't even believe that it exists, you know that.

738
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: That's a lot of times people will um say, oh, well, bisexuality,

739
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 1: that's really just here on your way to being lesbian

740
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: or gay, or you're lying, or you're confused, or you

741
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: don't understand. There's lots of different ways of of erasing

742
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: by sexuality and saying it doesn't really exist. Um. But

743
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: but in truth, you know, it's true. Like some people

744
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: do identify as bisexual, um, and then later identify as

745
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: lesbian and gay. But some people also identify lesbian and

746
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 1: gay and then later identify as bisexual. Or some people

747
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 1: just identify as bisexual from the start and say that way.

748
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of variation in that. That's that, um,

749
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 1: but that's not a reason to um, to dismiss the

750
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 1: existence of bisexuality. The other thing is that, um, there's

751
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:36,760
Speaker 1: so little bisexual visibility, both in media representations of bisexuality

752
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: but also in communities. You know, so we don't often see, um,

753
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: you know, Pride to coming up this weekend in a

754
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: bunch of cities that already happened in other places, and

755
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 1: bisexuality does you know, isn't that visible despite the fact

756
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,399
Speaker 1: that there are more bisexual people than lesbians and gay

757
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 1: men put together, Like you would think that in the

758
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 1: in the pride parades, over half the people in there

759
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: should be bisexual and we should be seeing like pink

760
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: and blue and purple all over the place during prime,

761
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 1: but that's not what happens. And so so that visibility

762
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: is really important for people to feel like, you know,

763
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: that that they feel legitimate, that they feel like they

764
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: can find their community, they can see people like them,

765
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 1: and that's important for mental health as well. And then

766
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: that last thing is just the feeling of community and

767
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: and connection to other people. So, um, it's great that

768
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: there's you know, strong lesbian and gay community and a

769
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: lot of places that you know, decades ago didn't exist,

770
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: you know, fifty years ago before Stone Wall, we didn't

771
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 1: have that. So it's great that we have that. But

772
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 1: often lesbian and gay communities are not very welcoming of

773
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: bisexual people. And so there's there's a lot of by

774
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 1: people like hiding out in lesbian and gay communities, you know,

775
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 1: who don't feel like they can be open about it.

776
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: And then there are people who are bisexual who can

777
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: keep saying that they're bisexual that people keep forgetting or

778
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 1: dismissing it or not believing it or whatever. So so

779
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: it's really hard to feel um validated and accepted and

780
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: supported when when you don't have that. So I'll tell

781
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 1: you that there's been some research on um, bisexual people

782
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,320
Speaker 1: and therapy and and so. And let me talk about

783
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: young bisexual women because there's there's a study that came

784
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: out in by Slanders um and and colleagues UM that

785
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: that specifically about young bisexual women's perceptions of their mental

786
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,919
Speaker 1: health and um, so and and women like there's there's

787
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: even a higher percentage of women who are bisexual than

788
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: than men who are and so it's it's important for

789
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: us to understand what's going on here, although we really

790
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 1: need representation of them too, so UM. But but in

791
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: this particular study, UM, they said, UM, the women said

792
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:56,760
Speaker 1: that health care providers seem to not know much about bisexuality,

793
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: and they became exhausted from having to explain their identity

794
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: to other people and especially mental health providers, and it

795
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: just seemed like there weren't a lot of by inclusive resources.

796
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 1: So that's something important to know, is that that mental

797
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: health providers are not meeting the needs of bisexual people.

798
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: Like there's this there's this highly vulnerable population that mental

799
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: health providers like don't know how to affirm and how

800
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:32,320
Speaker 1: to assist so that's something important UM in terms of

801
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: what we can actually do for bisexual people. Like, one

802
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: thing is sometimes when mental health providers are trying to

803
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 1: be affirming of lesbian and gay people, they sometimes forget

804
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 1: about bisexuality. So I think that the first thing is

805
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: to remember that your clients might be bisexual. So if

806
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 1: they're talking about same gender attractions, then not to assume

807
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,720
Speaker 1: that they're lesbian or gay and like helps them along

808
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 1: this path to an affirming lessian or gay identity. But

809
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 1: really UM fold of space for the complexity of sexual orientation,

810
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: whatever people end up doing with their identities and whatnot,

811
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 1: just trying to UM allow people to UM to have

812
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 1: that complexity of sexual orientations. One of the things that

813
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,320
Speaker 1: I think is a really useful tool in working with

814
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 1: bisexual clients is the Client Sexual Orientation Guide UM, because

815
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 1: it's UM acknowledges that there's many dimensions of sexual orientation. UM.

816
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: There's you know, sexual attraction, there's sexual behavior, there's identity,

817
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: there's who your community is. So there's all of these

818
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: different things and each of those can really be thought

819
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 1: about on a continuum, and they can also be thought

820
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 1: about in terms of where you are now, where you've

821
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 1: been in the past, and you might have like where

822
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 1: you see yourself in the future, or maybe an ideal

823
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 1: of where you'd like to be with that. And the

824
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: nice thing about that is that it allow house for

825
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: there to be differences. Like people might say, Okay, well

826
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 1: I have you know, I fantasize about these kinds of people,

827
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: but you know, but I've only had relationships with these

828
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 1: kinds of people and you know, and so so those

829
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: those things that might be seen as discrepancies in in

830
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: other situations can actually all be held in one space

831
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, sexual orientation is just really

832
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 1: complex and um and we need to understand that. So

833
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: so I think that that that can be a really

834
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 1: helpful tool. We need to have visibility lessians and you know,

835
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 1: gay men need to um need to welcome by sexual people.

836
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 1: Not to say because that would be nice, I'm saying,

837
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 1: it's because there's a serious this to not doing it

838
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 1: like we are. We are abandoning some of the most

839
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: vulnerable people in our community. If we're not, you know,

840
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 1: stepping up and and providing that support. A term you've

841
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:59,800
Speaker 1: heard as use is mono sexism. We asked Dr Roberts,

842
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: who who has a match President Obama, by the way,

843
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 1: and she has also done some research around mono sexism

844
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 1: to expound on it. But before we get into that,

845
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: we have one more quick break for word from our

846
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 1: sponsor and we're back, Thank you sponsor. Here's Dr Roberts.

847
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 1: So mono sexism. Um, there's this idea that you have

848
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: monosexual orientations and those are individuals that are just attracted

849
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: to one sexual one general representation. UM. So people who

850
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 1: are heado sexual are mono sexual as well. UM. Similarly,

851
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 1: people who are lesbian, o gay are mono sexual because

852
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 1: they're acted to multiple expressions just that one. UM. So

853
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 1: that's what mono sexual is. And then you have um,

854
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 1: non monosexual identities including bisexual, including just like general player

855
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: including a sexual UM and those are just individuals who

856
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: are attracted to more than one UM gender identity and

857
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: or sexual UM sexual idea. So mono sexism then is

858
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 1: like this idea that if you're attracted to more than one,

859
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 1: that's wrong. You have to take a side. And so

860
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:31,359
Speaker 1: it's theories that by people get um interesting so enough

861
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: from both sides phone quote, and that straight people saying like, oh,

862
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 1: you're not straight enough because you still have this other

863
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: attraction and les being engaged people saying the same thing,

864
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 1: like you're not gay enough because you still have this

865
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 1: other attraction. So model sexismages this idea that if you

866
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 1: have this additional attraction, then there's gonna be some discrimination.

867
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 1: Because one of the reasons we wanted to speak with

868
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: you is UM. You wrote UM or you were part

869
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 1: of a paper between a gain a straight place by

870
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 1: sexual individuals experiences with monosexism. UM. Could you go into

871
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: the work that you did with that? Oh yeah, so

872
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 1: that's that. That was one of my academic babies, is

873
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: I like to call it UM. So that initially was

874
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: my master's thesis when I was at the University of Wisconsin, Madison,

875
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 1: and part of that study, I collected data on oh

876
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: gosh UM over twelve hundred or so UM bisexual identified

877
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 1: people and I UM. It was like online survey, so

878
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 1: I asked questions about their experiences with discrimination UM, both

879
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 1: from heterosexual people and from LGBC communities, because I wanted

880
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: to see UM based on my own experience, whether or

881
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 1: not there is a difference and like the discrimination and

882
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 1: unfortunate biphobia that by people get from both communities. So

883
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: I end up finding that there there was a difference

884
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: in the amount of black shobia that by people experience

885
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 1: from gay and straight communities, but realistically, like that difference

886
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 1: was so so, so so small, and I stant to say,

887
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 1: like it's like you're in a room and you have

888
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: two people yelling at you and one person, like the

889
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: straight group is yelling at you like two decibel tires,

890
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 1: then the gay group. They're both still yelling at you.

891
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 1: At some point you can barely tell the difference between

892
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: like the volume, but there is like a statistically significant difference.

893
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: So there was like a significant difference, but there is

894
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 1: still extreme amount of blackobia experience UM by bi sexual

895
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: people from so heterosexual and listening it, I personally have

896
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: known um other friends that I know who are by

897
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 1: who who are married to fis men, and they're like, oh,

898
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 1: I'm by I'm part of the community. I want to

899
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 1: go to this like drag show or I want to

900
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: go to this Pride event, and they've been accosted at

901
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: the event, like they've had people come up. Like one

902
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 1: of my really close friends she says that she has

903
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: someone come up to her table and said, what are

904
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: you doing here? You're straight? Girl, and she's like, I'm

905
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 1: not I'm not a straight girl, Like this is my

906
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: community too, So it really is just like feeling like

907
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 1: you don't belong. Um. I've had individuals in my life

908
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: who were identified as I'm sort of squere um, I

909
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 1: want to challenge me on my definition of bisexuality and

910
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 1: like assuming that I sort of perpetuate this binary and

911
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: that I'm like anti trans, which is completely not the

912
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: issue at all, um. But it's more so like they

913
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: have this definition of bisexual in their heads. Um they've

914
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 1: been taught or learned or heard from other other communities

915
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: that aren't by communities people. They aren't really listening to

916
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 1: definitions of bifexuality that come from by community. Um. And

917
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 1: so there seems to be in this clash that's there

918
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 1: and lately now, like it said, it's it's a lot

919
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: of like I didn't know you were insert persons who's

920
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: perpetuating the binary and doesn't like trans people. And even

921
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: if I say like that's not that's actually that's not

922
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 1: how I identify my sexual orientation, it doesn't matter. And

923
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: so that that's that that happened within a middlesecond at

924
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 1: like the first introduction to someone you know, and so

925
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 1: it's that's sort of like your community level introduction that

926
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: you're trying to build communities. There can be you know,

927
01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 1: there might be some some sticky situations with that, um

928
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:55,920
Speaker 1: for people who might already have this negative image or

929
01:00:55,960 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 1: negative perception of bisexuality. UM and in the workplace because

930
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: people don't people don't talk about by anything right, So

931
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 1: like you think like LGBT community, but people forget to

932
01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 1: like to be actually stands for something if you're at

933
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 1: an accepting workplace. UM, I still think coming out is

934
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 1: by like that's sort of a second coming coming out

935
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 1: that you have to do. I have to come out

936
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 1: longness to say like, hey, I'm not straight, and then

937
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 1: everyone's like, okay, you're a lesbian or you're gay, and

938
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: then you have to come up come out again and

939
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 1: say I'm not either those either by um and then

940
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 1: there's either going to be like blank stares or like

941
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 1: internal gas or for me, it's not just like okay,

942
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 1: I don't fit in with this community. That sucks. I

943
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 1: feel lonely. UM Like that's one thing, and loneliness conferred

944
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:51,440
Speaker 1: depression and a lot of mental health outcomes. But when

945
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 1: you're looking specifically at bisexual people compared to non bisexual

946
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 1: queer quote unquote, I think BY people, the lesbian, um,

947
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 1: gay um, just other non by people. They're like our

948
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 1: distinct health securities. Like bisexual people are have higher rates

949
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,720
Speaker 1: of over bi sexual women have higher rates of ovarian cancer.

950
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: And it's purely because doctors are hearing the sexual orientation

951
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: and not giving certain tests. So if I'm a by,

952
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm a biased to women. And if I'm in a

953
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: relationship with another um with a person who has a uterus, uh,

954
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,200
Speaker 1: and I tell my doctor that I'm in a relationship

955
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 1: with someone who has a uterus, and that's what my

956
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: sex life is for. Doctors will not give certain tests

957
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 1: that they do with women who are in relationships with

958
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 1: people at penises, and because of that is higher rate

959
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: of obarian cancer, which I think is absolutely ridiculous, Like

960
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 1: there's no way that my sexual orientation should have any

961
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: correlition to hire rates of cancers because I'm not getting

962
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 1: checks for things. Yeah, and that's just like some of

963
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 1: the physical health things. Anytime you're you're adding more minority

964
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: identity is just like the level of trauma is like exponential,

965
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm a black bisexual woman. UM like this woman. UM,

966
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: but still like, so I'm you know, I experienced my phobia,

967
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 1: I experience racism, I experienced sexism, and I experienced the

968
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 1: intersection of all of those. He's just being really really hard,

969
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, because it's like you look at all

970
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 1: of the statistics, tum of the research on the impact

971
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 1: of racism and the specifically own black people and everything

972
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,840
Speaker 1: out there says that there's so I mean, yeah, there's

973
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:52,400
Speaker 1: a lot of research that it's looking at, um sort

974
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: of help promote of behaviors and resiliency. But if you're

975
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: looking at the resources, there's like some of the negative

976
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 1: impact in terms of like physical healthy, looking at high

977
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 1: blood pressure, looking at diabetes, looking at sort of like

978
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 1: this generational transmission of trauma. And then you add to

979
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: that the sexual orientation and general identity peace from top

980
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 1: to that, and you just you have these really complex

981
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: and layered systems of oppression. UM. And it's it's it's

982
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 1: surprising that people, I mean, I talked about I'll talk

983
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 1: about this was my partner all the time. My partner

984
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 1: identifies division or is non binary, So we get a

985
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 1: lot of bisexual, non binary conversations and a lot of

986
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 1: times we're just like, how do we get up in

987
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:42,160
Speaker 1: the boarding? I don't know, but we have to, so

988
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 1: we do it. I have personally encountered a lot of

989
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:53,919
Speaker 1: misconceptions and bias around bisexuality, and I made a quick

990
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: list of just ones that I thought of off the

991
01:04:56,440 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 1: top of my head. The first one it doesn't exist, uh,

992
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:07,880
Speaker 1: the second one it's a phase. And then also like

993
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: you can't make up your mind. You're greedy, you're trader,

994
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 1: you're oppressed, homosexual, your insert mental health problem here, You're

995
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 1: overly sexual, always want sex, are aggressive, are promiscuous, less loyal,

996
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 1: less monogamous, And these misconceptions have a huge impact individual

997
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 1: too systemic. We asked our interviewees about all of these

998
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 1: misconceptions and about biphobia and bi racier so bim and

999
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: internally by negatively are really really similar. One is just

1000
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:43,480
Speaker 1: sort of like an external and one is an internal.

1001
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 1: So bi phobia would be all of the um negative interaction, uh,

1002
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: verified stigma that by people experienced from the non by people.

1003
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,160
Speaker 1: UM So if I go out of community and say like, hey,

1004
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm by it. I have this partner and someone says, oh,

1005
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 1: your partner is magically beginning You're not allowed in this

1006
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 1: um in our like pride celebration because we only want

1007
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,360
Speaker 1: gay people here. Like that's an example of how I

1008
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:17,080
Speaker 1: would experience by phobia and then interialized by negativity. Is

1009
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:19,160
Speaker 1: what happens when people sort of take all of that

1010
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 1: negativity and they turn it in on themselves. And so

1011
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 1: that would be me wondering like if I'm buying enough,

1012
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 1: or um, maybe I am what these people say by

1013
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 1: people are Maybe I am just sort of like untrustworthy

1014
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 1: and sort of like questioning my phone models because the

1015
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:41,760
Speaker 1: voices of everyone else has kind of gotten a lot

1016
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 1: of the stigma. Therapists are one that by people are untrustworthy,

1017
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 1: they're shady. Um, they're always gonna leave you for like

1018
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 1: the quote unquote other so like the other gender expression

1019
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 1: or the other steps, they're always going to just leave

1020
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 1: you for the other. Um, so you can't trust them anyway. Um.

1021
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:07,680
Speaker 1: And there's also this really I just think disgusting sort

1022
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:11,080
Speaker 1: of stereotypes that I personally have heard and been told

1023
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 1: in my life that by people, because there's multiple attractions,

1024
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 1: that by people are the ones who are spreading HIV

1025
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: and AIDS among queer communities. We're not We're not talking

1026
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 1: about like how queer people don't really have a lot

1027
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 1: of conversations about safe for sex anyway. We're not talking

1028
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 1: about any of that. We're just looking for a spacegoat.

1029
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:37,720
Speaker 1: You see, you know this age crisis, and you see

1030
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:42,360
Speaker 1: like physical health disparities and queer communities, and you're not attracted.

1031
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:45,320
Speaker 1: You're not attributing it to all of the issues that

1032
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 1: we have in terms of just health care in this country.

1033
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:51,440
Speaker 1: You want a scapegoat, and I can I understand that,

1034
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: because it's something that's really horrible that's happening, and everyone

1035
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,640
Speaker 1: wants to attach it to someone else, So you want

1036
01:07:56,640 --> 01:08:00,400
Speaker 1: a scapegoat. But I don't think you know pep who

1037
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:05,520
Speaker 1: are also in that shuggle, who are experiencing all of

1038
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:09,080
Speaker 1: those being health disparities, who are in the thick of it.

1039
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 1: I don't think that that we need to be the

1040
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:17,599
Speaker 1: escape to. And bisexuality is very stigmatized in many ways,

1041
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:23,760
Speaker 1: often in the lesbian and gay community. Sometimes bisexual people

1042
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 1: are thought of as not having the courage to come

1043
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,320
Speaker 1: out of the closet all the way, or we're on

1044
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:30,439
Speaker 1: we're on the way to coming out, or confused and

1045
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:34,280
Speaker 1: many lesbian and gay people don't want to date us

1046
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 1: or don't want to engage with us because there's this

1047
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 1: thought that we're just experimenting and don't really know what

1048
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 1: we want. And then in the straight community, I think

1049
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 1: we're often perceived as just being floody and once again

1050
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 1: just experimenting. And I have been bisexual and aware of

1051
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:51,560
Speaker 1: it and out about it for twenty years. I'm not experimenting.

1052
01:08:51,640 --> 01:08:54,440
Speaker 1: I know who I am, and I really am attracted

1053
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:58,920
Speaker 1: to people of multiple genders UM, and I think it's

1054
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,640
Speaker 1: really useful for me as an attorney. I feel a

1055
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:05,880
Speaker 1: strong identification with the word bisexual because, as I said,

1056
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 1: that has legal and political meaning, and so when we're

1057
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:14,760
Speaker 1: trying to include other classes of people in for example, UM,

1058
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:18,679
Speaker 1: much of the federal court litigation about same sex marriages

1059
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,639
Speaker 1: UM sometimes speaks about the possibility only of people being

1060
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:28,240
Speaker 1: in same sex couples or UM. It frames the debate

1061
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:31,400
Speaker 1: about issues such a same sex marriage around only having

1062
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 1: the option to marry people who are seeing sex UM

1063
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,519
Speaker 1: as opposed to being bisexual and just choosing that. You know,

1064
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 1: this is the person I love and I want to

1065
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 1: I'm not under duress because I could potentially be married

1066
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 1: to a man, but I would rather marry a woman

1067
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:45,839
Speaker 1: as a bisexual woman perhaps, um So, I think sometimes

1068
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:49,080
Speaker 1: in a lot of that debate, bisexuality is left out,

1069
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:53,559
Speaker 1: and it's important for the legal continuity to be able

1070
01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 1: to use the word that is going to continue on

1071
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:02,600
Speaker 1: and I'm learned about, you know, creating new words and

1072
01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 1: identities over time, which I think may work socially and culturally,

1073
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:09,559
Speaker 1: but in terms of legal activism, I feel like it's

1074
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 1: important to hang on to that stigmatized bisexual label and

1075
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:16,400
Speaker 1: re embrace it. I think it's important that in these

1076
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:20,519
Speaker 1: kinds of situations we recognize that having been in different

1077
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 1: sex relationships does not mean that you are not legitimately

1078
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:25,559
Speaker 1: a queer person, that you're not legitimately a bisexual person

1079
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,160
Speaker 1: if that's how you identify yourself, and that those people

1080
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:31,679
Speaker 1: can face just as much stigma. There's a massive rate

1081
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:37,400
Speaker 1: of homelessness, um and oppression among bisexual people, particularly young

1082
01:10:37,439 --> 01:10:42,719
Speaker 1: bisexual people, and it's the largest proportion of the LGBTQ community,

1083
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 1: and yet sometimes the least heard of. We sometimes call

1084
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 1: that bio rature because um many people feel like they

1085
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:54,479
Speaker 1: don't have the right to fully claim the mantle of

1086
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:58,719
Speaker 1: being an lgbt Q person, UM, and yet we often

1087
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:02,960
Speaker 1: face a lot of stigma and both the gay musbian

1088
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:06,280
Speaker 1: world as well as in um, the straight world. And

1089
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:10,960
Speaker 1: so I think it's really important for us to band together.

1090
01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: And I feel particularly passionate about sharing my pride as

1091
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:17,240
Speaker 1: a bisexual person because it took me a long time

1092
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:18,920
Speaker 1: to get there, and I know that for a lot

1093
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 1: of people they still feel really stigmatized. I've already shared

1094
01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:25,280
Speaker 1: this statistic about how they're more bisexual people than lesbians

1095
01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,439
Speaker 1: and game that put together, Now that is shocking for

1096
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:30,519
Speaker 1: a lot of people. UM. But there's this there's this

1097
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 1: other thing that that also surprising, UM, which is the

1098
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:40,720
Speaker 1: percentage of bisexual people who are coupled, you know, who

1099
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:44,040
Speaker 1: are in relationships, who are in the gender relationships. And

1100
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,800
Speaker 1: if you're bisexual and you know you could have a

1101
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 1: relationship with somebody of any gender, then then you're just

1102
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:54,720
Speaker 1: more likely, like statistically, to end up in a relationship

1103
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,960
Speaker 1: with somebody of another gender. It's just you know, so

1104
01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 1: so it's not even necessarily like that people are trying

1105
01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:01,759
Speaker 1: to positive Okay, I'm not going to keep you interestents,

1106
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:05,920
Speaker 1: I'll tell you the ins that eighty four per cent

1107
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:12,600
Speaker 1: of coupled bisexual people are in mixed gender relationship. I

1108
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:16,679
Speaker 1: think that's that's you know, when people think about bisexual people,

1109
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,760
Speaker 1: when people think about any sexual minority, but even by

1110
01:12:18,760 --> 01:12:22,160
Speaker 1: sexual people, they're thinking about people who are connected with

1111
01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:25,600
Speaker 1: bisexual community, who are probably in the same gender relationship,

1112
01:12:26,040 --> 01:12:28,200
Speaker 1: like they've got a certain view of it. So there

1113
01:12:28,280 --> 01:12:33,479
Speaker 1: are like the vast majority of bisexual people are in

1114
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:37,440
Speaker 1: mixed gender relationships and and so people might not recognize

1115
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:40,880
Speaker 1: them as being a sexual minority person, let alone bisexual.

1116
01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:44,719
Speaker 1: So that's really important I think for people to understand

1117
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:48,920
Speaker 1: who are like organizers and service providers that if you

1118
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 1: are only like reaching out to people through LGBT networks

1119
01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:59,320
Speaker 1: and you know, um uh, same sex, coupled kinds of things,

1120
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:04,479
Speaker 1: then you are missing most bisexual people. So I'm always

1121
01:13:04,520 --> 01:13:06,519
Speaker 1: saying to people, if you want to reach bisexual people,

1122
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:09,560
Speaker 1: like for our Bisexual Discussion group, we just advertise in

1123
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:13,120
Speaker 1: the local paper, like in an online on on like

1124
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:16,439
Speaker 1: calendar events. But I also recommend that people like reach

1125
01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:20,320
Speaker 1: out through parenting groups and stuff, because bisexual people are

1126
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,400
Speaker 1: more likely to be parents than lesbians and gay men are,

1127
01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 1: so um so just when we think about how do

1128
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:31,040
Speaker 1: we reach bisexual people. And also I just want to

1129
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:34,400
Speaker 1: make sure that all those people who all those bisexual

1130
01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:37,439
Speaker 1: people who are in mixed general relationships, Like if you're

1131
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:40,240
Speaker 1: listening to this, I want you to feel seen and

1132
01:13:40,439 --> 01:13:45,280
Speaker 1: known because you might feel really isolated. And we want

1133
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:48,760
Speaker 1: to say to anyone listening who does feel isolated, you

1134
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:52,720
Speaker 1: are not alone. Um. And that is some advice, but

1135
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:55,519
Speaker 1: we will have more because as we said, this is

1136
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 1: just part one, right, yes, stay tuned for part two,

1137
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,760
Speaker 1: where we dive more into by ratire and by negativity,

1138
01:14:03,960 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 1: personal experiences and Hikui who's bisexual Hiku also known as

1139
01:14:09,439 --> 01:14:16,040
Speaker 1: bik I love this so much too and resources. In

1140
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,799
Speaker 1: the meantime, we would love to hear from you listeners.

1141
01:14:18,880 --> 01:14:21,000
Speaker 1: You can email us at Stuff Media, Mom Stuff at

1142
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,280
Speaker 1: i heeart media dot com. You can find us on

1143
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 1: Instagram at stuff Mom Never Told You and on Twitter

1144
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,560
Speaker 1: at Mom Stuff Podcast. Thank you, thank you, Thank you

1145
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:32,920
Speaker 1: to all of our interviewees. You'll hear again, Yes you will.

1146
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Andrew Howard. Thanks Andrew,

1147
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:41,120
Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Thank you all. Stuff

1148
01:14:41,160 --> 01:14:43,160
Speaker 1: I've Never Told You's a protection of I heartradias How

1149
01:14:43,240 --> 01:14:46,599
Speaker 1: stuff Works. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio as the iHeartRadio app,

1150
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:49,040
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,