WEBVTT - Ep 19: The Doctor 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:13.160 Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:16.720 been warned the doctor thing. 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:19.119 I'm not sure if I necessarily see myself in a 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:21.639 relationship with the doctor, because I feel like our lives 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:22.600 would be so different. 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:24.640 Yeah, keep come home from saving someone's life and maybe 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:25.599 they're doing a TikTok or. 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:27.520 My dad and I'm like, babe, what do you think 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:37.880 about this joke I've written about analding me. I'm a savage. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.760 Are you bored of modern dating? 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:42.519 Meeting the same people from the same apps in the 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.279 same bar you've only chosen because it's close to your 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.600 house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:51.080 time to change the narrative on how we find love. 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.040 It's time to start looking for love in all the 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:59.120 wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.640 picking people who are the total opposite of my type. 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.039 And after twenty eight of these dates in two months, 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:08.840 will I find that special someone or Well, this experiment 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:12.120 proved that I should just give up on dating altogether. 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:14.360 It's time to find out. 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:24.160 I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later. Okay, 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:30.080 so ross, this date was the first time ever in 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:32.960 my life that I've been on a date that did 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.000 not have alcohol involved. 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:37.600 Is that really crazy with me? To admit? 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:40.800 No, I think maybe it'll be crazy for some people. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:42.840 But even like, I'm not a big drinker, and if 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:44.960 I was going a first stade, I would feel like 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:46.640 I would need a drink to settle my nerves. 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:51.160 You do, because I think, how does one without alcohol 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.600 on a date get to the point where they're like, Okay, 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:55.920 maybe I'm gonna kiss you. 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:56.480 I don't know. 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.160 I just can't imagine ever doing that sober for the 0:01:59.160 --> 0:01:59.640 first time. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.000 There's gonna be people listening who are like they can fathom. 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:04.560 They're like, yeah, of course I'd go on a date 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.800 and I'll have a drink. But everyone's different, and I 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:08.440 would definitely be on the same page as he was 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.120 in like going for a date to don't call sober, 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.320 I would be like, yeah, I think I need to 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:13.919 definitely have like a can of Monster or. 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:19.280 Something loads of cbdal CB deal. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:21.560 Actually, Monster would be the worst thing because I'd probably 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:22.600 tell them my life story. Ye. 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.240 That would make you too like hyper. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:26.880 Yeah, and probably give you the ships as well, which 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:27.600 wouldn't be great. 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:28.000 Yeah. 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:32.280 So his name is Aaron and We got set up 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.280 by a mutual friend and we went to meet in 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:38.400 a cafe in the middle of the day. It was 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:41.760 a lunchtime date because he is a doctor, which is 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:42.480 very cool. 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.600 Oh my god, especially I'm like such a hypochondriac. I 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:47.160 think that would be like a dream same. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.440 I mean, I'm like a doctor's worse nightmare. Like, once 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.320 I got the phone number of a doctor, it's game 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.720 over because I just literally call them all the time. 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.400 But actually that's that's what I actually ended up doing 0:02:58.520 --> 0:02:59.040 for sort of. 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.880 The first half of the day was totally great. 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:13.480 All my ailments, I know, talk about what that's good 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:16.800 that you know your name. This is Eddie, my dog. 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:18.800 Oh my god, I do love Eddie. 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:21.280 Yeah, she's great, She's very chill. She just goes to sleep. 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.280 So how do you feel like I spent more attention 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:24.960 on Eddie than you. 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:27.639 No, I actually would enjoy that because I recently went 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.399 on a date when I had her and the guy 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:32.560 just didn't acknowledge her. It was really weird, like she 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:34.639 was there and he just didn't look at her at all. 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.040 That's such a red flag. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.280 Yeah, you're going to have the opposite red flag. 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:43.200 Much prefer that she's so hard not to look at. 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:45.240 What kind of doctor are you? 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:47.240 I'm a GP. 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:53.840 Oh my god, I'm a hypochondriac. I've got so. 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:57.600 Everyone thinks I got something seriously wrong with her. And 0:03:57.720 --> 0:03:59.560 I'm like, you're twenty. 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:00.600 Four, in good health. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:04.160 You're in better shape than me. Actually, like why why 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.440 why are you here wasting your time in my time? 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.760 I see there's a running team here where you slightly 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.760 bully them a little bit. You're like, oh, that's great. 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:13.520 You know your name. 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:17.800 I'm like, Grace, that's what I do. Like it's I'm 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.919 I'm I'm really means men. 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.479 When we get to the twenty eight date, we're going 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:23.679 to try break you down. 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:26.080 Yeah. I don't know where it comes from. 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:29.479 It's like it's that clussic, you know, like the girl 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:32.160 in like Rugrats or something. She just thinks that like 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.040 the way that boys will like us if she just 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.240 pushes them over, like beats them up. That's why I 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:38.720 was like a primary school. 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.560 I picture you going into a first date not being 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.480 nervous at all and taking like I suppose taking the 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.159 ball by the horns and actually directing the date. But like, 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:50.719 am I wrong? And you nervous going into dates. 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.799 It really depends. It depends on my mood. 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:56.320 It depends on who like the vibes that the person 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.719 has given me before. So like, if if I feel 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:03.039 like we're going to have things in common, they're not really. 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:04.640 But if I feel like it's a bit random or 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:06.479 I'm somewhere a bit out of like my comfort zone, 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.000 like not in Northwest London, then yeah I am nervous. 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.400 But like if it's like somewhere familiar and like, I mean, 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:13.919 the best first date is like you know, when you 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.400 like either have a mutual friend with them or there's 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:20.520 something in common. I don't really get that nervous before dates. 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:22.000 So I feel like I've been on so many first 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:24.480 dates now that I've just like lost the like energy 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:29.400 to be that nervous before. I know, no, little that 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:32.640 sound you just made is not really tragic, you know 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:33.240 what though? 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:35.320 Do you know, like say if you walked in and 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.400 someone was really really like you were so attracted. 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:41.360 Them, then they get nervous under yeah, yeah, one hundred percent, 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:44.040 one hundred percent, And then I do get nervous, and 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:48.359 like you know, they're there are situations where like people 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:51.000 do make me nervous, But on like a first date. 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:54.440 Before i've met someone, I'm like, chances are you're not 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.560 gonna impress me that much, so I'm not that nervous. 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.039 And then maybe I get there and I'm like, oh, 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.880 this is really exciting, and then I'd start to be like, Okay, 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.440 I wish i'd like warn an ice are out there. 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:06.240 Can I just say if I was going on a 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:09.880 date with you, I'd be nervous. I would be so nervous, Like, really, 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.200 I obviously know you. I've listened to your podcast, I've 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:16.480 read your book, so I feel like I would come 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:21.040 in being very very nervous because you are You come 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:22.760 across like a really really strong woman. You are a 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:26.200 really strong woman, and you're funny. You're everything I think 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:29.280 as a guy coming into the date, they're probably shitting it. 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:30.680 I love that. 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:33.760 Yeah, that makes me so happy, just the idea that 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:40.040 I make me nervous. The doctor thing, I'm like, amazing, 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.039 you're a doctor. But also I'm not sure if I 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:45.200 necessarily see myself like in a relationship with the doctor, 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.640 because I feel like our lives would be so different 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:49.280 and the way that like what we do as a 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:50.400 job would be really different. 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:50.919 Yeah. 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:52.960 Yeah, if I was with the doctor, I'd be like, God, 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:56.159 you must think my life is ridiculous, Like you must 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.320 think that I'm like a ridiculous person and nothing in 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:00.599 my life is real, and like that would make me 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.480 really self conscious that like I'm just a frivolous, little, 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:04.599 silly little girl. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:06.719 Yeah, he'd come home from saving someone's life and maybe 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:08.520 they're doing a TikTok of my dogs, and I'd be like, 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:09.159 well shit. 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.360 Yeah yeah, And I'm like, babe, do you what do 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.400 you think about this joke I've written about anal? 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.000 It was actually really fun day. 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:20.840 The chat was really good because he was just very 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.840 comfortable and so it was like good flowing conversation. 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.360 And I have a question, what is the age difference? 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:28.120 I know he's younger, but what's the year. 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:29.840 I think he was two years younger than me. 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.920 I think the end thing like when you're above twenty five, 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.120 like two just that much. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.320 Yeah, Well, he told me that he loves stating older women. Oh. 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:40.600 If I look back at my dating history, I'd say 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:42.880 most of the girls I've ended up with have been 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:46.160 older than me. Really, yeah, I think maybe by how 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:49.280 many is the oldest? Age difference is like three or 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:51.520 four years. I thought I would have been twenty three 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:55.920 twenty four, as I was twenty eight. For me, relationships 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:59.560 are all about communication anyway, So as long as both 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:02.560 people communication with each other, it shouldn't really be a problem. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:04.120 How do you twenty five? 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:05.640 Oh my god, you're so young. 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:07.080 Oh my god, you're so young. 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:09.120 My god, it's so young. I wish I was twenty five. 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:12.200 Yeah, what do you think my ex? When I got 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.560 with him, I was twenty three and he was twenty eight. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:16.720 And I am a bit sexist in the sense that 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:19.240 I think it's a bit more normal when the man 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:19.800 is older. 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.000 I don't know why I think when he's over twenty five, 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:25.560 and you know, like I have lots of friends, Like 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:27.440 my sister goes out with the guy who's three years 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:30.040 younger than her and like they're like perfect together. So 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:32.800 I think it's just all about the individual's maturity level. 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.679 So I think it's fine. And he sounds really mature, 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.679 like I'm normally seeing like well two minutes of him, 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.760 but like he's trained to be a doctoring, I mean, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:41.640 this is a last. 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:42.600 He's training to be a doctor. 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.440 And also he was just like talking about communication now, yeah, 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:47.680 and I'm like one hundred percent. 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.720 He's older than his years in maturity. 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:52.480 Yeah, and do you know what, I've never gone out 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:53.800 with someone who's younger than me. I've gone out with 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.120 guys who are older than me. Like I've had big 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:56.800 age gaps. 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.839 And what's the biggest age gap? 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:01.840 Eleven years? 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:02.559 Wow? 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.840 Yeah? And I look back and I'm like, oh, you 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.920 know what, Like I was, I was probably I was 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:11.400 in my early twenties and the asiac was too big, 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:13.160 you know, like in terms of like we were totally 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.599 different spectrums of our life, Like, yes, I should have 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:18.400 been out enjoying my life and partying, but like, look, 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:20.920 I was very mature. I had been traveling the world, 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.680 I'd been working. I'd left my house when I was seventeen, 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:26.839 So I definitely felt older. But I actually it's probably 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:29.760 only now that I'm I'm thirty two. Would idate a 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:30.280 thirty year old? 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:30.520 Yeah? 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:31.079 Absolutely? 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:32.760 Oh yeah, you know what I mean? 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.000 Oh yeah, keep me young, No, I mean now I'm 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:38.200 getting older, Like I can so see myself like in 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.040 my fifties, of like men in their thirties. 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:42.840 Like that's I can really see that as I get older. 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.199 I think it's just when you're still in your twenties, 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:48.640 everything feels more like big than it actually is, if 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:52.360 that makes sense. So because when I remember, like I 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:54.480 once stated a guy who was a year younger than me, 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:56.400 not long ago, and I was like, oh my god, 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.559 like a young lover and it was a year I 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:01.440 think we were in the same school year. He just 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.160 like his birthday was like after me, No, that's not 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.240 a turn off at all if they're cool, and he 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:06.760 was cool. 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.679 He was. He was like, he was good to chat to. 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.480 Yeah, So did he say anything that was like, from 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.440 what I'm getting right now, he seems perfect. He seemed 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:16.160 really nice. 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.040 He did he say anything that gave me the ick? No, 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:19.560 he wasn't. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:21.559 He wasn't ick like, he wasn'n it. I don't know 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:23.120 if I was necessarily attracted to him. 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.520 Okay, yeah, sorry, I didn't even ask what was what 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:26.120 he looked like? 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.120 What did he look like? That's a good question. He 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:29.880 looked like. 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.480 Can I say one thing I will say from doing 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.640 this podcast, I realized it actually doesn't matter what people 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:38.000 look like. It's all about like your chat compatibility and 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:40.520 like the energy you get off them would do you anyway? 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:42.080 Definitely seem like it doesn't matter. 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:42.760 That's what I. 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:45.960 Found really interesting about this podcast, because I'm surprised myself 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:50.040 by people, like by actually having a great like vibe 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.520 with someone that I would have never like swiped to 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.720 on a dating app basically because they never fit my 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.560 like sort of more standard type. This guy, he looks 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.200 a bit like what's the guy's name who is in 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:02.000 super Bad? 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.679 Who isn't Joonah Hill, Michael Sarah. 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:08.640 Okay, guy, he's also an Arrested Development him. Yeah, exactly, 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.680 So he looks like your man from Arrested Development. 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:12.640 I think. 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:15.800 So there's someone else that's like really on the tip 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.840 of my tongue, but I just it's not coming to me. 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.120 So let's just say that, and the guy will listen 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:21.800 and be like, Okay, I've never been told that. 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:23.880 You just kind of like expect him to be funny. 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:25.600 Then, yeah, no, I know. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:27.240 I love Arrested Development. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:28.720 I love he's. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.720 So many people aren't good at communicating or because that 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:48.280 shows that, like, you're probably like quite like emotionally intelligent person. 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.320 If at the age of like twenty three you could 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:51.480 have gone out of an older woman. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:56.320 Yeah, and even from a like biological point of view, 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:59.640 like med's brains tend to develop a little bit later, So. 0:11:59.920 --> 0:12:03.480 That's actually true, like men's brains developed lower my. 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:07.679 Brains brains, the average men's brain is slightly different to 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.520 the average women's brain. I think when it comes to 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:13.600 relationships and having that emotional tallegence, which is obviously more 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:17.280 needed a relationship, it probably takes a little bit longer 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:18.760 for guys to work out that. 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:19.440 Sort of stuff. 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:22.920 Is that actually did he read that enough? I check better? 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.280 Or is it like I know we've joken, Yeah, but 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.520 I know that, Like you know, in society we always 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.280 say that, like you know, oh, men are and ready 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.880 to settle down by x age, and you know they 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:36.080 take longer to they take longer to mature. So he's 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:37.920 actually he's confirming that with us. 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:38.520 Yeah. 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:40.240 The only thing about that, right, And I don't know 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.360 because I don't know science, but like I just feel 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:43.880 like it's such a cop out for men to then 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:44.840 be able to say. 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.000 That, yeah, that is true. 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:46.520 I don't know. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.160 I mean, I'm sure it is true because like going 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:53.080 by like averages, like most men I've met when I 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.840 was younger were really immature and have since matured. 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:58.560 And I suppose when you think of it, like most 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.360 like just completely at myself here and now I was 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.360 probably ready to like okay, I could possibly settle in 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:09.160 and take a relationship seriously at like twenty eight, whereas 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:10.960 like most guys, I know, it's like they it's like 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.680 thirty three. Yeah, they're like, okay, now I'm ready. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:16.480 Yeah, and they're so lucky I think for that because 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:19.880 we do get stressed. I mean, I'm now going to 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.600 be like thirty three. I think I'm like not stressing 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.360 at all. But I remember a few years ago I'd 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:26.920 be like, well, I need to know who I'm going 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:29.720 to be with by the end of my thirties because 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.160 then I need to start, you know, thinking about having 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:35.120 children with them. That is so stressful, Like it's an 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:36.679 unnecessary stress that we have. 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:38.640 Yeah, no, it is pretty shit for us, Like we 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:39.920 have a lot to think about it, especially if you 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:43.320 want kids. But guys, they can literally just keep going. 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:51.400 The way I probably express love and affection if we 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.640 sort of talk about love angry, yes, which I thought 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.319 was an absolute myth until someone kind of I was 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.079 like very scientific and I'd be like, this is rubbitch, 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:01.120 Like this is just a load, Like I would honestly 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.439 put it like alongside hovoscopes in terms of how much 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.319 I didn't believe in it previously. And if you tell 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.600 me that you love horoscopes and then I have a 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.120 long conversation about that. 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.640 It's not that's not really my dad. But love languages 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:13.880 and attachment. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:14.400 Style I do. 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.600 I do very much believe in love languages and for me, 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:22.080 quality time and physical touch, the ways I communicate it 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.200 and probably in the ways ways I probably want to receive. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:25.800 It most of the time. 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:28.240 I had one go once kind of showered me if 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.320 gifts very early on, and I felt some other I 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:30.920 do right. 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.600 I didn't like that, Rod, do you are you into 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:34.320 love languages? 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.960 I have no idea what my love language is, really, 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:39.840 no idea, like why are they? 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.920 So this is how you receive love, so that it's 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.480 how you feel you receive love the best. So it's 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:48.120 physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time. So if somebody, 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:51.520 say like comes and spends time with you, like you know, 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.960 doesn't leave at six the next day, like actually spends 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:55.720 the morning with you. 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:57.200 Acts of service. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.760 So if somebody comes and fixes your boiler or you've 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.280 got light bulb that needs changing, whatever, And then gifts. 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.520 So somebody who like thinks of you says, oh, I 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:07.080 saw this thing and it made me think of you 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.920 like that, you receive love like that. So for example, 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:12.240 like with my mom, like she's acts of services like 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:14.160 how she gives love, but I don't really receive love 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:16.600 that way. I for her, would receive love from her 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.560 if she gave me a hug, like her giving me 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.200 a hug would make me feel so much more love 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:21.640 than her like coming and fixing my life. 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:22.840 But well, does that make sense? 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:23.080 Yeah? 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:23.320 It does. 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:23.600 Yeah. 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.200 So like basically how I show love to people is 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.000 I love to give them stuff, So I'll like bake 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.520 someone something, I'll give them presents, like I love to 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.840 gift people things, and that's my me showing. 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:35.880 But then which of those do you feel? Is how 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:36.880 you receive love? 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.200 So I like when people give me backstuff, oh do 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.280 you yeah? Yeah? But then like say my boyfriend, he 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.000 prefers like acts of service. 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:47.760 So like if I like cleaned the house or like 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:49.240 did something. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:52.120 Yeah, and I'm like, here's a cake. The kitchen's in 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:52.800 a mess with you. 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:57.000 But that's why because you're basically doing what you want. 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:59.800 If that makes sense, So for me, mine our physical 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:03.560 time and presents. I love receiving gifts. I don't like 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:05.760 giving gifts, but I like receiving gifts. So like with 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.560 my ex boyfriend, like until I figured out what his were, 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.120 I used to buy him present, so I thought it 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:11.440 would instigate him buying me present. 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.560 But that's not how he received a game. Yeah. 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.400 Interesting. He told the story of when a relationship had 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:16.880 gone wrong. 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:18.920 Well yeah, and then he told me about the first 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:20.840 date of his that did not go well either. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:26.720 I went on a date that was a blind date 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.560 and the date was basically bad from the start, like 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:35.200 there wasn't that attraction from either sides. And about an 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:37.960 hour and she was like, I'm actually quite hungry. I 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:41.080 think I might go after dinner. No, as we're going 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:42.920 up to the bar to like to pay, she's like, 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.320 do you mind if I pay for my drink? I'm like, oh, 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:49.560 that's problem, and she pays for hers. I paid for mine, 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:51.240 and then she gives me this sort of scowling look. 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.920 I think, Okay. She's like, you know what, I've never 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.160 been on a date and the guy hasn't paid for me. 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:01.280 What the hell? But she was like, can I pay off? 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.560 I wasn't even a discussion about paying, she brought up 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:08.040 the topic if you offer you actually it shouldn't be empty. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:09.240 Bless him. 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.880