1 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 2: Kathy and I are back to join you. We're so excited, 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 2: a don't we, Kat. 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 3: We are always so excited to get back together. Be 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 3: sure to check out our latest episode. We've been having 6 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 3: so much fun answering all your questions and chatting with 7 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 3: all of your Bachelor Nation. 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: Faves, every single one of you. But today we have 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: one hell of a guest baby. He is very special 10 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: to us and he was the first ever Golden Bachelor. 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 2: Gary Turner, Hey, Gar. 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 4: Welcome, Hi you guys. It's so good to see you 13 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 4: and hear your voices again. Love you guys to pieces. 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome. 15 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: It's been a minutegare So before we even get started, 16 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: I have a bone to pick with you, if you 17 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: don't mind, Can I do that right off the bat. 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: I was so excited that it was you coming, because 19 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: let me start with this. 20 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 2: Can you define friendship? 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 3: Oh boy? 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 4: The definition of friendship would be forgiving of someone who's 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 4: close to you, being tolerant of them, understanding them, staying 24 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 4: oh man, because now I'm gonnas myself. 25 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:25,199 Speaker 2: No no. 26 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: So, when you were on TV the other day, I 27 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: was watching and I sent you a text, well spoken, Gary, 28 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: you didn't send a response. 29 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: Joan was there, she sent a response. Anybody else but my. 30 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 3: Friend Gary sasn't. Don't feel badly. He doesn't answer me either. 31 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 3: He's very big now, he's very popular. He must have 32 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 3: a lot of dates. We're gonna, we're gonna figure out 33 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 3: why Gary. 34 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 2: Are you not read your text? Looking? He's looking at 35 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 2: this poem? Did I get it? 36 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 4: Yeah? I missed it. It's not that I saw and ignore. 37 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 5: All Right, we're gonna we're we're gonna, we're gonna grow you. 38 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 5: We're gonna grow you later, Gary, But right now, we 39 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 5: have so much stuff we want to dive into. So 40 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 5: we're gonna get things started, and we want to know 41 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 5: what you've been up to. Just give us, give us 42 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 5: the day in the life of Gary Turner. What's going 43 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 5: on with you? 44 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 4: Well, So it was a nice winter. It was the 45 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 4: first time that i'd been able to get away from 46 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 4: the Midwest winters. And I went to Mexico for a 47 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 4: couple of months, so an awful lot of time. And 48 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 4: then of course when I'm down there, my dad passed away, 49 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 4: so I had to rush back and you know, take 50 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 4: care of a bunch of estate things for him, and 51 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 4: I've been dealing with my siblings and the things that 52 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 4: come along with dealing with the estate. 53 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 3: I'm doing the same just as my head. 54 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 4: Above water now on those things. And I'm back to 55 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 4: playing pick a ball three or four times a week, 56 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 4: and pretty much I'm really having a good time. I'm 57 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 4: enjoying myself. 58 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 3: So waite, how was Mexico? Where were you? Do you 59 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 3: speak Banish? Tell me about Mexico. 60 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 4: So I don't speak much Spanish, but the place I 61 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 4: was at was San Carlos, which is about halfway down 62 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 4: the Bahats on the west coast of the mainland, and 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 4: the nearest big city is there, Mascio. There's an airport there, 64 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 4: and the people there are so genuine and so kind 65 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 4: that if you try to communicate with them and use 66 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 4: a few Spanish words, they help you so much. There 67 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 4: was a little grocery story I went to all the time, 68 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 4: and there was a guy in the butcher shop. He 69 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 4: always wanted to practice his English with me, and I 70 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 4: always wanted to practice my Spanish. Oh god, it was nice, 71 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 4: it was scary. 72 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 3: All you need to know is don dasti Albano. Albano. 73 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 3: Then you just need to say, maserve beer or you know, gusto, 74 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 3: uh me, gusta mucho, vino tinto. I love red wine. 75 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 3: I mean, any of those things will get you where 76 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 3: you want to go. 77 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 4: Just no bus. 78 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 2: What made you go to Mexico? 79 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 4: Gear, Well, so I have a cousin who has a 80 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 4: sailboat there, and so she had the boat, I rented 81 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 4: a condo. We shared, uh, quite a bit of time. 82 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 4: You know, we'd go to meals together. She was a 83 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 4: fairly accomplished mountain climber, and so I had a climbing partner. 84 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 4: I had a yeah, yeah, I know. 85 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 2: We'll get to that. 86 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 4: So it turned out to be a pretty good combination 87 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 4: for the two of us. 88 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 3: So your daughters came down for a short time. Angie 89 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 3: and Jenny came down for a bed. 90 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 4: They did for the last five days. 91 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:48,359 Speaker 3: Nice. 92 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: They came all they got from the whole winter. You 93 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,159 Speaker 1: only had the girls for five days. 94 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 4: They have jobs. I do not. I have no place 95 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 4: I got to be. 96 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 3: All right, So you're back. You had a good time 97 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 3: in Mexico. We saw you at AFR. How was that 98 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 3: getting back and seeing Joan and Chalk and you know everybody. 99 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 3: How did that gel must have been a little surreal. 100 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 4: Well, I tell you what, I really liked it because 101 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,919 Speaker 4: the Friday morning breakfast I got to sit with Joan 102 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 4: for quite a while and we compared notes. Then Chalk 103 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 4: shows up, Clayton shows up, so we're all chitty chatting. 104 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 4: And then that night the same group plus Leslie sat 105 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 4: down for you know, a couple of drinks. And that 106 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 4: was a ball. Man. You just hear in everyone's different 107 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 4: perspective on what has happened and what's good, what's not 108 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 4: working out right, and so forth. I loved it. 109 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's no hard feelings. 110 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 4: I mean, no, no, no, no. 111 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 6: Uh. 112 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 2: Leslie looked great, didn't she She did? 113 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 4: She did. 114 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 3: I swear that girl gets younger every every time I 115 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 3: say her. It's like she looks younger. She's living the 116 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 3: good life. That's all I got to say. 117 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 6: Yeah. 118 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, But was it weird though? To be back there, 119 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 3: and you know, because you were the lead, you know, 120 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 3: was it weird or not? 121 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 4: I wouldn't say weird. I was. I was thankful to 122 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 4: be there after a long hiatus, Uh, to get the 123 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 4: invitation back and get to see so many of the people. 124 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 4: I was. I was really thrilled with that, genuinely from 125 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 4: my heart. I loved it. 126 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 3: All right, So are you dating anyone now? Gary? What's 127 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 3: going on anyone new in your life? 128 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 4: There is there, there is something going on. It's a 129 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 4: little early to talk about, I think. So that's exciting. 130 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 4: That is exciting, And you can, uh, maybe get back 131 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 4: to me in a month or so and we'll talk 132 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 4: about I'm. 133 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 2: Calling your ass again. 134 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 3: I'm calling You can call him, but he doesn't answer 135 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 3: or return calls, so you're screwed. 136 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: You don't respond the messages. We're gonna we're gonna talk 137 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 2: about this further. 138 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, Gary, is she local? I mean, just can we just? 139 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 3: Is she local? 140 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 4: Yes? 141 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: And I have a question, how did you meet? 142 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 4: Tell you that yet? 143 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 2: Was it tender? 144 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 4: No? I don't even know what. 145 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,559 Speaker 3: I bet it was on a pickleball court. 146 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 4: No, it's a story, but it goes along with the 147 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 4: story of you know, how it's happened, how I feel 148 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: about it. But mostly I want to make sure that 149 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 4: it's as solid as it feels. 150 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: Because you talk about it, and then I will. 151 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 4: Give you a really nice story. 152 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So, Kathy, if it's not how he thinks 153 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: it's going then he'll be on paradise. 154 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 3: I think, yeah, there you go, Susan, when you have 155 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 3: a PhD in logic here, I'm just paying attention. 156 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 2: I see that sometime. 157 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 3: So so well, certainly, Gary, we're happy for you if 158 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 3: I mean, of course, and seriously we hope that whoever 159 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 3: she is, that you are happy that you found love. 160 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 3: You know, Susan and Kat well you know strike wise 161 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 3: person's out there for. 162 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 4: She won't let it go, Susan. 163 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 3: She just never wanted the talk about. All right, so Gary, 164 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 3: you but you are still in Indiana, right, that's where 165 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: you are now? Yeah, still same house, same everything's good, 166 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 3: and your health is good. We have to you know 167 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 3: your health is good. 168 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 4: It is you know. The The whole point is, as 169 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 4: long as I don't have symptoms, I don't have to 170 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:36,239 Speaker 4: talk about treatments yet, and every six what tests I 171 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 4: you know that one test is going to be way 172 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 4: out of whack and get more out of whack as 173 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 4: time goes by. But quite honestly, I feel great. I 174 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 4: am enjoying life right now tremendously. 175 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 3: And I told you Gary, but I'll bachination I have. 176 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 3: The kind of cancer you have is very rare. It 177 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 3: strikes one in a million men. And believe it or not, 178 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 3: I dated a guy who uh got your same diagnosis, 179 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 3: is about six months before you got it. And he 180 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 3: I know, right, I know too, and I know two 181 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 3: guys and whatever. But he is fine. Just to let 182 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 3: you know, he's he went through the treatment. He waited 183 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 3: like a year and a half and then he had 184 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: the treatment and he's fine. And the doctors have said. 185 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 3: Something else is you know you're gonna get hit by 186 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 3: a bus and die before this cancer gets you. So 187 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 3: bats our nation, Gary Turner is around for the long haul, Susan. 188 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:41,599 Speaker 3: He's gonna return your message. Leave him alone, the poor guy. 189 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 3: All Right, we got to get into our question of 190 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 3: the day. We're gonna we're gonna play. So we're gonna 191 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 3: we have a question of the day, Gary, and we 192 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 3: want you to wait in on it. Okay, So to 193 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,839 Speaker 3: the young listeners out there, of which there are many, 194 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 3: what advice did you give them when it comes to 195 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 3: facing big disappointments in life, like, you know, for example, 196 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 3: not getting their dream job or a relationship not working out, 197 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 3: those kinds of big things. What would your advice be? 198 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,719 Speaker 4: You know, that's a really good question. I think that. 199 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 4: My first reaction is to tell them that part of 200 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 4: the learning process in life is dealing with disappointment. And 201 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 4: it's why I wanted to be in a team sport 202 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 4: my daughters. I wanted them to be in team sport 203 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 4: because when you're defeated, when you lose, you learn so 204 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 4: much more, I think, than when you win. So look 205 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 4: at those things as an opportunity to improve yourself or 206 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 4: or you know, find new additional things to add to 207 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 4: your resume, or whatever the case may be. But look 208 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 4: at failure as a positive building block or what you 209 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 4: do next. 210 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 2: Garry, when your daughters. 211 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: If your daughters had their first relationship not work out 212 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: and they had broken hearts, how did you Because you 213 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: don't want to hear that, you know, time heels, life 214 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: goes on. You'll remember this later. It'll help you grow 215 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: At that point you want to cry, don't. 216 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 2: Tell me that. 217 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 4: But the thing is isan you know Jenny, you know 218 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,559 Speaker 4: my oldest daughter. You know her pretty well. And the 219 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 4: huh you by the way, yeah that's. 220 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 2: True is his carving copy. 221 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. The first time she broke up with a serious boyfriend, 222 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 4: my wife and I were relieved. We didn't like the guy. 223 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 4: It's like good written good. 224 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 3: I do like your advice, though, Gary, because I do 225 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 3: think that, you know, it's it's it's not what we 226 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 3: win what we lose. It's not the things we get 227 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 3: right in life. It's the things we get wrong that 228 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 3: teach us the biggest lessons. So I think that's really 229 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 3: good advice. 230 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think that it's close to home for me 231 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 4: as well, that the things that in the recent past, 232 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 4: the last two years, that I've done wrong have been 233 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 4: tremendous lessons for me on how to do better going forward. 234 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, I repeat mistakes sometimes now that 235 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:16,199 Speaker 1: at this age I'm finally getting it. Care Gary, did 236 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,199 Speaker 1: you know that you can't you know people you know 237 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: how close Susan and I are. 238 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this. Two years ago, 239 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 3: not quite two years ago, I broke my wrist exactly 240 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 3: the same way, fell backward on it, had the same surgery, 241 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 3: same hand. And the funny thing was, Susan has four 242 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 3: pins and a really large plate in her wrist. And 243 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 3: I said, of course you end out to me, Susan, 244 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,560 Speaker 3: because I had two pins and a small plate screwed sorry, 245 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 3: two screws. Yeah, pins and plates is what they call it. 246 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 3: You know again, I got pins, Susan get screws again. 247 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 4: You know, the two of you are not competitive on 248 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 4: who gets screwed the most. 249 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 3: Gary, this is a family show. I win, Susan, you 250 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 3: always win. 251 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying, okay, now, all right. 252 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 3: We're moving on. 253 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 2: All right. 254 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: So we have a collection of our most asked questions 255 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 1: by our listeners, and Gary, we're. 256 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 2: Going to give these listeners some advice. 257 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 1: You're going to go first after I, Kathy and I 258 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: read them, and then we'll put our two cents in. 259 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 1: Sometimes Kathy and I, like earlier, when we did a 260 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,439 Speaker 1: podcast the other day, we agreed on almost everything, which 261 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,359 Speaker 1: is unusual. 262 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 2: Okay, So if we agree with you, great, If we don't, 263 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 2: that's great. 264 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 4: So okay, all right you ready, yep. 265 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: So what advice do you have for single parents introducing 266 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: their children to a new partner? 267 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 4: Oh? Wow, what a Oh that's a good one. I 268 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 4: think the setting and the planning and the preparation are critical. 269 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 4: You pick a happy place. Uh, you make sure that. 270 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: New world in case they freak out. You want to 271 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 2: be a problem. 272 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 4: We don't care. But I think the important thing is 273 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 4: is being don't over talk, but be honest. You know, 274 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 4: if you start over explaining and saying too much, then 275 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 4: it looks suspicious. Kids are really intuitive, So one hundred 276 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 4: percent honest, but just don't overdo it. 277 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: And don't you feel time like how long have you 278 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: been seeing someone before you do? 279 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 2: The introduction matters? Or I think it's not necessarily. 280 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 4: Well, I think that depends. We're talking about a younger 281 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 4: single parent. Then you know with smaller children, right, I 282 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 4: guess yeah, And then I think yes, you have to 283 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 4: be protective of the kids. You have to make sure 284 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 4: that the partner that you're about to introduce has a 285 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 4: very high level of success in your relationship. You don't 286 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 4: want to be, you know, a revolving door. Right. 287 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 3: I think you're right with you young children, but with 288 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 3: older children, Gary, we are you're a widower. I'm a widow. 289 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 3: I think that has a different set of rules for 290 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: for for us because adult children. Because with me, I 291 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 3: have not introduced my kids to one guy that I 292 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 3: was dating, and then if a guy's a friend, And 293 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: the reason is I feel, really I want my kids 294 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 3: to know that I'm never going to replace that I'm 295 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 3: not even attempting to replace their dad and you, I'm 296 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 3: sure replace your wife. Uh So, I try to have 297 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: those conversations with my kids before, you know, before I 298 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 3: even think about meeting having the meet a potential partner. 299 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 3: You are you that way? 300 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 4: Well, I would push back on that a little bit. 301 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 4: My recent experience. The person that i've I've just started dating, 302 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 4: got to meet Angie and Jenny early on. We all 303 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 4: went to dinner. It was. 304 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you finish this conversation with Gary. I've 305 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 3: got Jenny on speed dial and Angie, so I'm going 306 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 3: to I'm gonna find out. I'll get back for the 307 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 3: end of this podcast with all the scoop for you. 308 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: But with adult children, I don't think there's anything wrong 309 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: with it, as long as you feel a certain way 310 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: about this person, right right? 311 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 3: Do Wait a minute, do your kills? Gary? Wait? Do 312 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 3: you do? Angie and Jenny who you know, Susan, I 313 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 3: do know well, and we love them. They're lovely ladies. 314 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 3: But when they meet someone, because you know, you've had 315 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 3: a few girlfriends since the show, how do you say 316 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 3: to them you know or don't you do? You just 317 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 3: want you to meet? 318 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 4: I do everything I can to not bias them because 319 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 4: after the fact, I don't even ask for opinions, but 320 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 4: it's important and significant to me how quickly they get 321 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 4: back to me and what they have to say. So 322 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 4: I'm not inviting anything, but when I get it, I 323 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 4: know I'm getting the straights true. 324 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 3: So what if what if your daughter had to yeah, really? 325 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 3: What if your daughter said to you, yeah, really, They're like, god, Dad, please? 326 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 2: We were instant friends though, Jenny. 327 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 3: That's we were. We were. But my question is, Gary, 328 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 3: what if Jenny Nanjie called you and said, I'm just 329 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 3: going to use the name Kathy Susan Kathy Sue. That's 330 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 3: that's your data. Kathy Sue, Kathyue, and and Jenny and 331 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 3: Angie call you and say, Dad, what the hell are 332 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 3: you thinking? Are you going to still go out with 333 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 3: Kathy Sue? 334 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 4: They would never say that. Well, what they would say 335 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 4: that would send me the same message is Dad, do 336 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 4: you know this person well enough? Dad? Do you have 337 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 4: you asked all the right questions? That's all they need 338 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,160 Speaker 4: to do to be gracious, but send me the same message. 339 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 4: And because they'd never say those negative. 340 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 1: Things, can I ask you, Gary, what those questions would 341 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 1: be like that they were referring to? 342 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the things that I've learned to be a 343 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 4: better communicator about is is talking about long term plans 344 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 4: where someone would want to live. Financial security, you learned, 345 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 4: You learned, Yeah, slow, but I get there, you know too, 346 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 4: That's what we I'm a guy, so some of those 347 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 4: questions that are important and the answers are so yeah. 348 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 3: I don't know when do you know when to have 349 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 3: those questions? 350 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 4: Though I have antecdotally. I think there's a certain rhythm 351 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 4: that you fall into with someone that you feel like 352 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 4: you click with. And when you feel that rhythm, bringing 353 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:04,159 Speaker 4: hard topics up is very easy. It's amazingly easy. I 354 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 4: had a really nice experience this weekend. She and I 355 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 4: spent some time together and we started talking on the sofa, 356 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 4: and an hour and a half later, we're at my island, 357 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 4: both of us eating ice cream out of the same container. 358 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 4: I love this and we didn't even realize. 359 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 3: Wait, wit, Garry, what is it with you? What is 360 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,639 Speaker 3: it with you? You share a milkshake with Teresa, you 361 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 3: have a cup of ice cream. I share with this car. 362 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 2: He got me cotten candy. 363 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, there is such a thing as 364 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 3: let me buy you an ice cream cone. Look the 365 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 3: point is they were I'm just pulling your chain, you 366 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 3: know that communicating. 367 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:44,880 Speaker 2: I think you're right. 368 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: I think if it were my if it were me 369 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: with my mom introduced me with somebody or something and 370 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: I didn't care for them, I would probably. 371 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 2: Say nothing. 372 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: Until I was asked and then say, you know it's 373 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: about you, and well. 374 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 3: That's but Susan, you're an adult. Think about your daughter. 375 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 3: They are adults too. But like my my kids, my 376 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 3: kids and Gary, when I say these things like what 377 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 3: the hell are you thinking that, I don't really think 378 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 3: your daughters would ever say that. I'm just the gist 379 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 3: is what I was after your Your daughter's polite. I'm polite. 380 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 3: I would never say that either. 381 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 2: It's just you don't even need to say those things. 382 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 3: He knows that right, So, but I will say my 383 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 3: children would say to me Mom. My kids would be 384 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 3: polite but direct and say Mom, I don't I don't 385 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 3: know what you're thinking. I know you're lonely, or I 386 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 3: know you'd like to find someone, or whatever. They would say, 387 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 3: but I think you need to get to know this 388 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,880 Speaker 3: guy better before we spend any more time with him, 389 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 3: and that would help you. 390 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 2: Have you met my sons why. 391 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, why what would your kids have been? 392 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 4: Really? 393 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 2: What do you think? Thanks? 394 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 6: Son? 395 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 2: What were you thinking? Wow? Okay, next question. 396 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 3: All right, I have. The question I have is how 397 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 3: do you go because I deal with this again like 398 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 3: you do, Gary, how do you go about supporting yourself 399 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: while also supporting your children after the loss of their parent, 400 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 3: your spouse. 401 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 4: Oh, Kathy, that's how I struggle. Yeah, it's we just 402 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 4: metaphorically joined hands and wouldn't allow the others to sink 403 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 4: too far. And in that circle, it wasn't just my 404 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 4: daughter's but also my granddaughters. They played such a big role. 405 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 4: My oldest granddaughter, Peyton was only fifteen at the time, 406 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,640 Speaker 4: and when the family got together at the house and 407 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 4: everyone was ready to leave, Peyton looked at me and 408 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 4: she goes, Paul, I'm not leaving. You can't be in 409 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 4: this house by yourself this week. And it's like, oh, 410 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,640 Speaker 4: I got it. Was like that's the kind of support, 411 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 4: that quiet, happy, supportive thing that people do when they're 412 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 4: a close family. Yeah. So that's the best thing I got. 413 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 3: I for me, I mean, my grandchildren one wasn't even 414 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 3: born and the other one was not even three. They 415 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 3: were babies. But I just you know, it's still my 416 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 3: kids have gotten How long has it been for you, 417 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 3: Gary since your wife died? 418 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 4: This coming July, it will be eight years. 419 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,880 Speaker 3: Okay, so I just had my sixth anniversary. It feels 420 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 3: I think my kids still your kids were older, we have. 421 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 3: Some of your kids were older. My kids were in 422 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 3: their early thirties. So so it's still hard though, I mean, 423 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 3: I have to be honest, it's still hard. 424 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 2: We support each other, children, parents. Everybody has their own 425 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 2: way of mourning and. 426 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: For loss, but you're there together and you touch base 427 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: all the time that you happen. 428 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 4: Now, there's there's unspoken communication at times, at certain times 429 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 4: of the year, certain little events where we just look 430 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 4: at each other and we go, oh, we know she's 431 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 4: looking down, and because we all think the same thing 432 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 4: at those moments. 433 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well we. 434 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 1: Do times sometimes I'm sure you say, mom will be 435 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 1: cracking up right now. Oh yeah, squashing that one. 436 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 3: I gotta I have to tell you, I'm not I 437 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 3: don't know what I think about reincarnation. But another topic. 438 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,639 Speaker 3: But my newest granddaughter, who will be two in April. 439 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,360 Speaker 3: Of course, so she was not alive, but she literally 440 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:55,120 Speaker 3: has my husband. Her middle name is Daryl, my husband's name. 441 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 3: And she has his eyes, not just the color. My 442 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 3: daughter and my been had the same colors, but her 443 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 3: eyes are exactly my husband's. But the thing that and 444 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 3: she gets me every time my husband used to say 445 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,640 Speaker 3: like he'd see something, he'd smile and you go wow 446 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 3: all the time it was wow. My my granddaughter does 447 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 3: it all the time. And I just know that, you know, 448 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 3: I just feel like that is nice. 449 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, So. 450 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 3: I feel like, but you know, I agree with you, Gary, 451 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 3: it's great. It's great advice that just marking those times 452 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 3: and feeling it together and just knowing that, as you said, Susan, 453 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 3: we all grieve differently, but we all we all. 454 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: In the case of a Divorceee, you're still not going 455 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: to introduce your children until it's the same thing. 456 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 2: You're not. 457 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: It's not replacing a father, but when you have adult children, 458 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: it's it's a whole different Yeah. 459 00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:03,719 Speaker 6: Picture, if you will. Okay, we have another one. 460 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: What advice do you have for those entering their golden 461 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: years that struggle with aging, whether it be mentally managing 462 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: their physical bodies, changing, et cetera. What challenges do you 463 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: think come with aging that you think people don't expect 464 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: or talk about. 465 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 3: Oh my god, go gety go there are I mean, 466 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:31,400 Speaker 3: I was shocked. 467 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,719 Speaker 4: I think that one of the things that strikes me 468 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 4: is the challenge of getting good sleep. You get up 469 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 4: and down to the bathroom three or four times a night, 470 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 4: and that causes the next day to be just a 471 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 4: touch more groggy than it should be. The aches and 472 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 4: pains of staying physically fit. Okay, so you decide that 473 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 4: you don't want to go to the gym, or you 474 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 4: don't want to go to pick a ball, you've wasted away. 475 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 4: But when you do those things, you have to accept 476 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 4: the fact that you're going to hurt a lot of 477 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,200 Speaker 4: the time. 478 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 2: It's a lot. 479 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not Susan. 480 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 2: There's just like Atlas over there, she pumps on. 481 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:15,160 Speaker 1: She doesn't nobody can compare to this one, but. 482 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 4: She's the exception. 483 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 3: No, wait a minute, wait is that great? 484 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 2: Things easier? 485 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 3: Wait, it's true, I've fed my share. Let me just say, Gary, 486 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 3: I think, uh that working out everything you just said, like, 487 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 3: sometimes things hurt. But you know what, if we're working 488 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 3: out and you're after the age of thirty, you start 489 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 3: losing muscle mass, right, So if we're maintaining or just 490 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 3: losing slightly. We're ahead of the game. 491 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. You know, from another angle, a slightly 492 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 4: different thing is training your your mind to remain nimble. Yes, 493 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 4: this is a simple example. But I was gone to 494 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 4: Mexico for two months. I came back, go to shady 495 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 4: nook next door to say hi to friends, and there's 496 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 4: this momentary what was his name again? Because I haven't 497 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 4: seen it once, and it's like the memory just is 498 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,120 Speaker 4: a little slower than it used to be. And I 499 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 4: really hate that. 500 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,159 Speaker 2: I know, good friends, my friend mind's like a complete crawl. 501 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 3: Okay, go ahead, Gary, you what you went to friends? 502 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:23,680 Speaker 4: What? 503 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:24,719 Speaker 2: So? 504 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 4: You want to hold your friends tight, you want to 505 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 4: honor them, and you want to make sure that you 506 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 4: maintain those relationships, because I think that's important as you 507 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:38,920 Speaker 4: get older and you just now and then forget people's names. 508 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 3: But let me just say I have two things to say. 509 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 3: Number one, who are you talking to right now? It's 510 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 3: a little mental challenge for you. Who are you talking to? 511 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,640 Speaker 3: That That one wasn't again he's struggling there. And then 512 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 3: that other that other zip I would say, Gary, that 513 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 3: one of the things that you're your You haven't mentioned, 514 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 3: but you're sort of mentioning it is. As we get older, 515 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 3: some people fall into isolation, and that loneliness the isolation, 516 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 3: so it takes more work. As we get older, we 517 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 3: have to get out, make new friends, have activities, because 518 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 3: if we don't, the slide down is a whole lot faster. 519 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 3: I think. 520 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, shared with the world. 521 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 1: That was our message coming off of that show, the 522 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: first ever show. What we felt was it isn't over. Everybody, 523 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 1: life is not over. Keep moving, get out. It's full 524 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 1: of possibilities. 525 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 2: I mean, we didn't get the guy what guy? 526 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 3: What guy? The Oh you mean the guy that gave 527 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 3: away gifts to everyone but me? Oh that guy garrig 528 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 3: You need my address to send me something because you 529 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 3: know I'll send. 530 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 4: It to you. 531 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: We love you, We love you. 532 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, we really are. We pull your chain, I put 533 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 3: your chain, but we are genuinely happy for you. 534 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 2: Really does she realize she has to meet us? 535 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that comes I'm told. 536 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 4: I think it would be fun. 537 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's been I can't wait a second. Gary, 538 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 3: you did, and I'm putting it out to vaccinations, so 539 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 3: you can't deny it. Susan, back me up. On this Gary, 540 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 3: did you or did you not say you were going 541 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 3: to have a bunch of us out to go out 542 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 3: on your boat? 543 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 6: Oh? 544 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 3: Yes he did past ten a. 545 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 4: Hund No, that is an open invitation. 546 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 3: We need, definitely, we need, we need, we need a 547 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 3: date and a time, Carrie, yep. 548 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 4: And everybody shows up and we party like crazy. That 549 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 4: would be a very popular event here man. Yes, it 550 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 4: would totally renewed the celebrity status. It an amp up 551 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 4: like you would not believe. 552 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 3: Listen, will you make me a drink? Because I made 553 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 3: you vodka Cranbery on the show? Will you make me 554 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 3: a drink? 555 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 4: I absolutely would? Okay, I of course absolutely would. 556 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 2: And I'll cook always. 557 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh my god, that'd be awesome. Well, you know. 558 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 2: You got to make them plain. 559 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: But Garret, how grateful are you to this day of 560 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: having this happen in your life, having that opportunity, I mean, 561 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: did it not change so many things? 562 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 4: I have expressed that gratitude many times, many different ways, 563 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 4: to many people. Granted, the whole experience wasn't all one 564 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 4: hundred percent great, but my personal development, the things that 565 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 4: I've been able to do, the fun I have being 566 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 4: around people, Oh god, it's it was amazing and it 567 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 4: still is amazing. I actually love going through Indianapolis Airport 568 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 4: because it's still like everybody knows who I am and 569 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 4: it's all fun. 570 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: And did you learn anything that you didn't know about yourself? 571 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 4: Yes? And that question is answered before and it's an 572 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 4: easy one. I didn't know I was so easy to 573 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 4: cry about stuff. I know. 574 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,280 Speaker 3: Wait a minute, you, wait a minute, you didn't know. 575 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 3: I'm being serious. You didn't know that you were a crier? 576 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 4: No, no, Kathy, it's like this. I think I got 577 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 4: much more empathetic when my wife passed away. 578 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 3: Okay, I can't believe you just said that, Gary. Why 579 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 3: Because I say that all the time. I've always cared 580 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 3: about people, and even though I have this big personality, 581 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 3: I don't like to hurt people's feelings. After my husband, 582 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 3: Daryl died, I am so even more empathetic. I've just 583 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 3: never heard anyone expressed it what I feel. 584 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 4: By a very clear watershed moment. 585 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 3: Yes, And then with. 586 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 4: Passing month and year, I feel like it became more 587 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,479 Speaker 4: that way. I genuinely felt like I cared for people 588 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 4: and their well being much much more. And so then 589 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 4: you know, the experience of of sending women home after 590 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 4: I tried so hard to form a bond with them 591 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 4: on the show. 592 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, that's just one example. My wife and 593 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 7: I used to watch Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, and 594 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 7: there's always about relationships. I sit down and watch that 595 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 7: show now and I have to turn away because it gets. 596 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: Me, okay, think about my wife, But I can't. 597 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 3: I honestly, you you got me on this one because 598 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,880 Speaker 3: I've been pulling your chain all day and having fun 599 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 3: with you because you know I love you, but in 600 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 3: in the friendship friendship way. But I honestly, those are 601 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 3: the things I watch. I cannot a I can't watch 602 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 3: anything violent just because of my husband's death. But anything 603 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 3: that I watched I used to make fun, in good 604 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 3: fun of my husband, who cried and everything. He would 605 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 3: cry at sappy movies and I say, what is wrong 606 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 3: with you? It's Collywood, It's not for I mean, I 607 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 3: just we used to laugh about it. From the day 608 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 3: he's died, I am a crier that I never used 609 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 3: to be, and Susan always saying me, did you cry? 610 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 3: I just don't announce it. But I'm so much more 611 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 3: of a crier now than I ever was, it's. 612 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 1: In touch with your emotions. Now I cry over Hallmark 613 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 1: the Clydesdale. 614 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 3: Come, Susan, you cry over changing the TV channel. Let's 615 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:19,400 Speaker 3: just you, guys. 616 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,360 Speaker 2: You both mentioned something that I heard. 617 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 1: You have more empathy than you ever had. I, however, 618 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 1: was cursed at birth, and I have so much empathy. 619 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 1: I would love to give some away because I take 620 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 1: it home with it. I could never be a nurse, 621 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, when taking care of people. 622 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: I'd bring that home. But and I love that you 623 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 1: both feel that, and all people in the world should 624 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 1: recognize that quality that they do have within them, and 625 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: it would be a better place. 626 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right. 627 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 4: One of the nice things I realized about this empathy 628 00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 4: is it's not just about sorrow or suffering. But Kathy, 629 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 4: you can attest to this, Susan, I feel very empathetic 630 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 4: when someone succeeds nicely, they overcome a challenge, It's like 631 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,359 Speaker 4: you want to celebrate for them and you feel so 632 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 4: good for them. And that's the other side of that coin. Yeah, 633 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 4: you get the joy of that. 634 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 3: I think I think you just I can't speak for everyone, 635 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,560 Speaker 3: but I feel emotions. As you just said, it's not 636 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 3: just the savage, but the the you know, ambulance. I 637 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,200 Speaker 3: When something good happens to people, I'm just like, oh, 638 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 3: it's like I want to celebrate exactly. You just want to. 639 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation fans like me because I did Teresa's hair 640 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 1: when she asked me the girl it this way, I go. 641 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,399 Speaker 2: Do you know how long I've been doing hair? 642 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 3: That's not celebrating Susan. 643 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:51,240 Speaker 2: It was she had the date. You're a boss, way 644 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 2: way too bad. 645 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 3: Will you do my hair? If I get a date? 646 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 4: Yes, you cauns go ahead and talk amongst yourself. So 647 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 4: I'll just sit over here in Indiana and wait. 648 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,879 Speaker 3: You know, Gary calling Gary, listen, we need a date 649 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 3: and a time. I actually need a date and a date. 650 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,880 Speaker 4: If you get it, I do, I get it, And 651 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 4: I can only help you out with half of that. 652 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 3: You know what, I'll put a want to add out 653 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 3: he has. 654 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 6: All. 655 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,720 Speaker 2: This has been great for you. 656 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,240 Speaker 1: We're so happy for you, and we're calling your daughters 657 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:31,839 Speaker 1: assume as we're done, and no, no, I. 658 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 3: Got a month's speed done it. It's gonna do it 659 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,959 Speaker 3: for me. This episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. 660 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 3: Thanks Gary, we really did enjoy having you. You gave 661 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,839 Speaker 3: out some great advice. We knew you would. We are 662 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,839 Speaker 3: both so happy. I'm speaking for Susan as well. We're 663 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 3: happy that you seemingly have found someone that, at least 664 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 3: right now, is making you happy and that makes us 665 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 3: both really happy. 666 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 4: Definitely, and I absolutely love talking to the two of you. Pleasure, 667 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,000 Speaker 4: and this has been allmine at one time. 668 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 1: I know we eat chat severally, but when you get 669 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,280 Speaker 1: two on one, you're no. We're always laughing, We're always smiling. 670 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 4: Isn't that like a Golden Oreo sandwich. 671 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 3: Gary's the middle, Susan, you are not always the centerpiece. Susan, 672 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 3: Jeez Lowie and Bachelor. 673 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 2: Nason and all our other fans. 674 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,840 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us today, and make sure 675 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: the follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new shows 676 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,759 Speaker 1: coming out every week and you don't want to miss them. 677 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,320 Speaker 3: I mean, come on, if you enjoyed listening to Gary 678 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 3: today as we did in having this chat, that we've 679 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,920 Speaker 3: got more coming. So make sure you submit your questions 680 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 3: to us, your comments, your thoughts, uh, you know, your 681 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,560 Speaker 3: guesses on who Gary's dating. We want to hear it. 682 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 4: All. 683 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 3: All you got to do is go to Bachelornation dot 684 00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 3: com slash Golden Hour or dm us on Instagram at happy. 685 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,839 Speaker 1: Hour and when we find app cats, we're telling, OK, 686 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 1: We're telling Oh yeah, Gary, your toes buddy. Make sure 687 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour on the 688 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, foor wherever you listen to your podcast. 689 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 2: Have a great week, everybody,