WEBVTT - Work in Progress: Tinx 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:16.160 Hey everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress high 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:21.160 Whip Smarties. Today, we are joined by TikTok's big sister, 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.479 you know her as Tanks, none other than Christina Najar. 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:28.880 She is a New York Times best selling author. She 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:32.000 is a podcast and radio host, and it's really her 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:34.559 wit and candor that have established her as a resounding 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:38.280 voice for women. She is engaging and empathetic and not 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:41.320 afraid to change her mind. We all got to know 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:45.080 her with her satirical rich Mom content five years ago, 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:48.400 and her takes on pop culture, theories on sex, dating 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:52.160 and relationships, and honest reviews and recommendations of everything from 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:55.800 food and restaurants to beauty, fashion and lifestyle products have 0:00:55.960 --> 0:01:01.279 placed her squarely in the cultural zeitgeist. Tinks has a 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:05.680 devoted fan base and everyone is incredibly excited for her 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:09.759 new novel, Hotter in the Hamptons, which is available now 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.640 and is being adapted for television. Next, let's dive in 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:28.920 with Tanks. Okay, girl, Well, before we get into you 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.840 know where we are and what we're all up to 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.319 these days. I actually really like to kind of go 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:38.720 a little back in time with people, and I'm always 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:42.639 really curious if you could hang out with your younger self, 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.120 you know, when you were nine or ten years old, 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:51.200 do you think you would see a kind of connection 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.080 to who you were becoming when you were a little 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:55.480 kid and who you are right now? 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:57.160 Hundred percent? 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:00.840 I think I think you can definitely see the roots 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.680 of who I am. I think I would be so 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:05.800 excited if I knew that this was my life when 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:07.160 I was like vibe, I would be like. 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:08.760 Yeah, oh my god, I made it. 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:11.160 But yeah, I think you know who we are as 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.400 kids kind of us in our most pure form in 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:16.079 a way that's like who we are before the worlds 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.080 with us and tells us that we can't do things 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.800 and gives us doubt and insecurities. And I don't know, 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:23.600 kids are so pure in that way. They're just like 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.920 their personalities are so defined even though they're young. 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:30.200 No. Yeah, so it's a really interesting thought. 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:31.400 What about you. 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.639 Do you feel like you would see the roots of yourself? 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.040 Absolutely? And I think to your point, you know, the 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:43.480 the becoming and the sort of life paths and other 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:47.480 people's influence and all sorts of things that I think 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:49.520 I don't want to say, like took me off my 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:53.280 path necessarily, but definitely I feel like I went through 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:56.560 all sorts of stages and phases trying to figure out 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:01.720 what was really for me. And I think to your point, 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.360 when when you're really young, and I think, especially like 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:09.079 feisty little girls, you kind of know yourself and then 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.520 you get they told a lot about who you're not 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:13.679 supposed to be or what you're not supposed to be. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:17.240 And I think, I think there's a really interesting thing 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.239 as you evolve where in a way you you sort 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:25.400 of also unlearn a lot to get back to sort 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.600 of core self. Where did you grow up? 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:30.080 I grew up in London? 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.800 You did, Yeah, I grew up in London, and then 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:34.480 I moved to the States when I was nineteen to 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:35.320 go to college. 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.480 But I think, like what you're saying is so interesting. 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:39.800 It's like you're pure in yourself and then the world 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.360 like changes you because you're like, oh, I need to 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:43.720 be this, I need to try this, I need to 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.280 be insecure, I need to do that. And then right 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:49.040 around for me, like in my early thirties was when 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.080 I was started to like be like, oh, I need 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.040 to unlearn all that stuff and go back to who 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:55.520 I really am, and I just think it's so interesting, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:56.720 like so many women have. 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:58.080 I think most women have. 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.680 This evolution of like real learning who you really are, 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:07.200 because twenties is all about like like trying on different hats, 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:10.440 like you know, oh, maybe I'll hang with these people, like, oh, 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:11.720 am I like a cool girl? 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:12.960 Or am I like this girl? 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:13.320 Or whatever? 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.680 And then New York thirties, you're like, I actually just 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.159 need to go back to who I am. And it's 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.599 like it's kind of amazing. I love it. I'm into 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:21.360 thirties so far. 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.440 Oh I like that. That makes me really happy to hear. 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.160 I loved turning thirty, I think especially because you know, 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.440 for me and some of my closest friends, we just 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.760 spent nine years on a show where, by the way, 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:39.000 we repeated high school, so right, it's a emotional holdback, yeah, 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.880 and then we were sort of stuck there and all 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.200 the discovery so many of our friends did in their 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:47.520 twenties we didn't really get to do. So in this 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:51.000 really interesting way, I felt like I was discovering a 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:54.400 lot in my thirties. And then also it felt like 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:59.280 the task of the first half of my thirties was unlearning, 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.520 like very devout good girl behavior at work, like no, 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:06.800 I don't always need to make everything easier for everyone 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:11.039 else totally. And then, weirdly, the second half of my thirties, 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:13.560 I think I had to confront that I didn't even 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:17.120 know how to do that for my own life. And 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:20.599 then at forty, like the first year that I was forty, 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.120 everything shifted and I went, oh, okay, I get it, 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:25.080 now this is my time. 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:27.920 I love that. Do you do like what kind of 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:28.839 self work do you do? 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.240 Or like what kind of like how how do you 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:33.480 best like get to know yourself? And like do all 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.359 these things like do you new therapy, journaling? 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:40.360 I mean everything you know artists' way. I I found 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:44.880 a great, great therapist who I really like. And I 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.479 think finding the right therapist for you is kind of 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:48.960 like finding the right partner for you. 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:50.720 Agree one hundred percent. 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.480 It's like there's relationships you've been in that have been great, 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:56.560 they serve a reason, they take you through a season. 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:58.640 You can love people and then move on from them. 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.760 And I think interestingly like therapy can be a lot 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.400 like that too, where it takes a while to get 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.080 from just enjoying hanging out with someone to get to 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:13.080 a really constructive place where you know that your life 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.239 is better because of their presence. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.640 One hundred percent. I know, finding a good therapist is 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.960 like it's so key, it's so crucial. 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.480 Has it been that for you too? What's what's Yeah? 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.720 I have like an amazing therapist that I worked with 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.680 for like five years, and I've been doing my job 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:32.200 for five years. So I started like being online five 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:35.000 years ago, and it was so crucial to have someone 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.960 who could like support me during this like weird job 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:41.279 that I have where it's like, you know, it's not 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.840 normal to get so much feedback on yourself, Like I 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.719 think that's not like a normal human experience. And so 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:49.400 for anyone who is in the public eye, you know, 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:52.760 the regular public eye or on the internet, like it's 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.480 just a bizarre experience to hear so much about yourself 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:57.840 back to you, and you need someone to really help 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.880 you weather that and help you process and be like, no, 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:04.200 it's not normal, Like it's actually really strange, Like it's 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:07.200 really strange that you get thousands of comments about your 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:10.200 appearance or this or that or like it's bizarre. So 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:12.920 my therapist is amazing, and I've been with her for 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:16.360 five years, and you know, to your point, she really 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.440 like does make me a better person. And I just 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.160 so appreciate the work we do together. And I journal 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:21.560 as well. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.560 I actually am. I've done the Artist's way before, but 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:26.239 I didn't I didn't do it properly. 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.600 So I'm planning to do it this summer really just 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:32.040 like take time and like really really use it. I 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.280 feel very ready and very called to do it right now, 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:35.800 So I'm excited about that. 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:41.240 I do too. It's really interesting because I have a 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:45.560 friend of mine gave it to me literally ten years ago. Yeah, 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:47.840 and I think it's your time. And I've carried this 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:51.160 weathered copy around in my backpack on like every trip, 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:55.680 to every set, to every everything. And I got about 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:59.840 halfway through it last summer and went, Okay, I don't 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.200 actually have the time I want to devote to this, 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.320 to finishing it. And in a weird way, I think 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:06.800 I also had to get to a point in my 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:08.640 life where I could be okay with that, where I 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.960 could put a book down halfway and be like, I'll 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.800 revisit this when I have a beat. It's important to me. 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.320 I'll come back to it. I used to have a 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:20.920 real kind of all or nothing like perfectionist tendency, which 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.239 is terrible because perfectionism just sets you up to fail 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:23.720 all the time. 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:25.040 Its perfect doesn't exist. 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.120 So to unlearn a little bit of that has been 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.679 really interesting too, did it. I wonder for you this 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.880 shift into online life because I'm thinking about when we 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.520 met at our mutual friend's house at that barbecue. I 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.439 feel like it was kind of in the first year 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.200 or maybe that you were doing this thing, and I 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.000 think about your history, you know, going to Stanford getting 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:53.160 a masters at Parsons, Like you you had goals that 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.959 you were pursuing in a more traditional light, and then 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:59.560 you stepped into this very non traditional space. And to 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:04.920 your point, that comes with a flood of information about 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:09.440 yourself that is not healthy. And you've talked about the 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:15.280 anxiety of I guess the byproduct of the anxiety that 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:20.600 comes with that. Like, why do you think the shift happened? 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:24.320 What led you to say, Oh, I've gotten this kind 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.880 of an education, but now I'm going to live with 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:30.520 it in this non traditional fashion. How did you kind 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:32.880 of make sense of what you thought you were going 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.040 to do versus what you actually do now and how 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:37.080 it's shifted your. 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:40.959 Life honestly, don't even think I was aware of it 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.480 when it was happening. I just like was thrust into 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.960 the online world and I loved it. It's like very alluring, 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.360 Like obviously, especially at the beginning, you're like, oh my god, 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:52.720 like the validation feels so good and you feel so popular, 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:56.000 and you know, you think this is incredible, like everyone 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.880 thinks I'm funny whatever. And then so I wasn't like 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.000 super cognizant of where I thought I was going to 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:06.160 be and like what I'm doing now. But I will 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:08.520 say I think that a lot of who I thought 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.439 I was going to be has helped me in this job. 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.959 Like I worked in corporate America, Like I know how 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:14.280 to send an email, I know how to do a 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:19.040 PowerPoint presentation, Like all that stuff has become useful in 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.079 a way in this world. And that's truly how I 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.320 try to just operate anyway, Like even if you have 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.240 an experience where you're like, oh I didn't like this, 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.679 or like this was a bad job, or this was 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.400 this or that, like you always can take something from it, 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:35.960 and it's always building to who you are going to become. 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:39.680 And that's like giving me a lot of peace throughout 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:40.160 my life. 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:41.880 So I try to think about that. 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:47.080 Allen, Yeah, I like that. How do you? I guess 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.440 I'm curious about this because I know what it is 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:51.920 to have a lot of people think they know a 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.800 lot about you, and your online life is so fractional 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.240 to who you are as a human. And I have 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:00.880 the weird thing where there are people who who know 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.160 or think they know me, Sophia, and then there are 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:06.040 people who will see me and be like Brock or 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:09.439 Aaron right, like they like, yell a character name at me. Yeah, 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:13.520 but you are Christina and you're also Tinks. But Tinks 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:15.679 is you ish? 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:16.520 It's so weird? 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.959 Does it feel like a character? Is it a nickname 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.920 that came from a friend that now blew up the persona? 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:24.160 Like? 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.959 How do you? It's so funny. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.120 I feel like Tinks is like I feel like I 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:30.960 am Tinks, Like I really do feel like it. But 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:36.000 you know, it's also like it's online persona, like it's 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.720 not really who I am. And so it is interesting 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.720 when people think that they know like all about me, 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:43.560 and I mean you have the same thing. It's like 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:45.400 it must be even crazier for you because you're like 0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:48.120 exactly some people think they know who you are. Some 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.560 people literally think that you're a character that they have 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.640 so much emotional attachment to that they feel like deeply 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.200 connected to you. And you're like, that was not me. 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.800 That was a projection of a character that I like 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.800 was the vessel for Like, that's got to be really shrippy. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:03.240 I don't know. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.439 I think all of these relationships that we have are 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.679 so interesting, and it's like, at the end of the day, 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.040 it is beautiful to connect with people over whether it's 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:16.040 a character or something online, but it's just it's just 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:20.439 shades of reality. You know, it's different, different pinpoints of reality, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:24.839 different points of your personality, and you know, I don't know, 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:26.160 it's so interesting. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.480 Yeah, it is kind of a trip. And I think 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:37.400 especially no matter how open or private you choose to 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.640 be online, you can try to be your most authentic self. 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.160 You can try to be vulnerable where you find it appropriate. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.240 You can try to be the most honest about things, 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:49.880 and people are still going to receive you as they 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:53.480 receive you, not as you are, and that is a 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:57.959 really interesting thing. I mean, how to have to balance 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:02.040 other people's expectations when you're just you and they're just them, 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.680 but suddenly there's two million or five million or ten 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.480 million of them and you're still just you. Yeah, how 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:12.760 do you kind of toe the line, you know, being 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:18.400 an online girly and maintaining a sense of privacy because 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.720 you know, you talk about dating, you talk about your life. 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.480 How do you figure out what to share and what 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:24.160 to hold. 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.960 I've scaled back a lot on talking about like my 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:30.800 like I try to talk about dating in a general 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:33.439 concept and not like my own experience as much now, 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.920 because I definitely was at a point where I was 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:40.320 kind of dating and I was telling my followers like too. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:41.080 Much like I was. 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.000 I would be on a date and I would be 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.040 literally thinking like, oh, I'm going to tell the girls 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.520 about this tomorrow, like, and that's no way to live. 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.920 I had to set that boundary, like, which is a 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:51.960 shame because it's the best content and people love it 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:54.160 and it would always go viral and whatever. It was 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.679 so fun, but it just ultimately made me feel confused 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:01.200 about what was me and like what was the story 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:04.240 that I was telling? And that's not healthy, like, you know, 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:06.320 And I think it's a trap that a lot of 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.040 content creators fall into, where they're like they'll do things 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:11.560 so that they can talk about it in content, and 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.040 I was just like, I need to keep this for myself, 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:19.120 Like I'm going through the you know, I'm going on 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.680 dates with people, and maybe I spend time with people whatever, 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:27.000 But like I'll tell my followers once it's past, you know, 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.440 once it's in the past, and it's it's just a story. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:33.440 But I think that the active telling, like during when 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:35.800 you're seeing someone was just was too intense and it 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:39.160 was too confusing, and it just it gets it gets 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:40.960 to be confusing. I would I would think like, wait, 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:42.640 do I really like this person or am I just 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.040 going on a date with them so that I can 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.040 like do a podcast about it the next day. 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.000 Like that's no way to live. And it's just like you, 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:49.680 I think. 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:51.640 You have to set boundaries with yourself and be like 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.280 what am I willing to do for views? And you know, 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.640 it's always evolving, and I'm really glad that I kind 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.040 of like hold back and I love sharing my life, 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.000 like I really do love sharing it with my community, 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.440 but there's also just certain things where I'm like, you know, 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.680 I don't need to share everything. Like I was literally 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:12.440 in the gynecologist yesterday and I was like going to 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.040 do like a whole thing about. 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:14.720 I don't know, like that. 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.040 That's another really big gray area for me because I 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:22.080 have the privilege of like having health care, and I 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:26.880 have certain you know, endo and pcos and things that 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.800 so many women suffer from, and I know that a 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:34.480 fraction of my followers have the same, like not a 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:36.840 lot of people have access to good health care. And 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:39.280 so that's a gray area for me because I want 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:42.280 to inspire women who follow me to go and be 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.400 their own advocates and you know, ask questions about their 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.560 birth control and ask questions about why they have pain 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:48.320 and all that stuff. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.880 But it's also just difficult because it's like it's such a. 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.080 Sensitive thing and I'm not a doctor and I never 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.680 want to give medical advice and you know, but it's 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:57.680 like I also know I have this platform and I 0:15:57.720 --> 0:15:59.680 want to inspire theomen and be like no, like ask 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:01.880 your dog again, like if you feel this or whatever. 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.320 So that's another area where I'm like, damn, am I 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.440 really on the internet talking about my IUD again? But 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.520 I hope that that helps, you know, Like that's an 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.640 area where I don't mind it to overshare a little 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:16.360 bit because it could inspire someone to go and ask 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.440 again or find a better solution for their health issue 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.280 or whatnot. So it's hard, but you kind of have 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.880 to just like set your boundaries and do your best. 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:28.680 I totally feel that. And it's tricky too, you know, 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:33.080 I don't I've thought about this for myself where it's 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.480 like I don't only want to reflect on something when 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.640 I feel like I've really buttoned it up, you know, 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.960 where I've really settled in it, and then I can 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:46.280 talk about it. It's like, sometimes I think it's really 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.080 healthy to say I don't know yet, I don't have 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.280 the answer, I'm figuring this out. But then there's the 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.960 inverse where if you do that, if you don't have 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.200 the exact right sound bite or you don't you know, 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.680 seem a hundred percent confident, people are like, oh, look 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.639 at this person. They're in a struggle. They backed out 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:05.160 of an answer. 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.840 They and it's sometimes you. 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:08.520 Just don't know yet. 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:10.880 Yeah, sometimes you don't, and also sometimes you change your mind, 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:15.840 like you know, like some sometimes they're like, oh, well. 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:17.440 In twenty twenty one, you said that. 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.399 I was like, yeah, that was four years ago, Like 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:21.320 are you saying you never change your mind when you 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.840 get new information like that's badshit, Like yeah, and that's 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.199 it's it's it's it's really tough, Like I always like 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:31.199 feel so oh my god. Like just to use the 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.120 birth control example again, I was like, because people want 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:35.359 to know and I get it because it's like a 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:36.640 thing that women talk about all the time. 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:38.639 I'm like, Okay, I had an audi. I really liked it, 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:40.040 and then I took it out and people were like, 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.320 but you said you liked it, why did you take 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:42.280 it out? Like da da da dad? 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.760 And I'm like, dude, Like, we're all changing all the time, 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:47.560 our bodies, our minds, everything, and you just kind of 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.439 have to like you're can be inspired by people that 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.240 you see, but you don't have to like follow exactly 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:53.959 what they say. You kind of kind of just use 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:56.960 it as an inspiration. But yeah, it's it's tricky. 0:17:57.200 --> 0:17:59.560 And now a word from our sponsors that I really 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:08.400 enjoy it and I think you will too. I also think, 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:10.560 I mean, even what we were talking about when we 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:14.919 first jumped on, things are also shifting in ways that 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.280 we have to figure out how to address. Like there 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:21.520 are people who have been in my life who I 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:25.320 have respected who've like, in the year twenty twenty five, 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:28.239 gone a little cuckoo and turned into people who I 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.399 watch like lie on the internet because now they're selling 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:33.840 you stuff with the lie and I'm like, yeah, I'm 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.200 super embarrassed that I talked about how inspiring I thought 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:39.719 this person was five years ago. But now they're like 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.840 hawking snake oil and you know, making money doing it, 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.880 and I'm like icky, And so I think, I think 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.800 your example of reminding people that you're allowed to change 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:53.200 your mind is important. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:54.520 You can always change your mind. 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.240 It's like the smartest people that I know are people 0:18:57.280 --> 0:19:00.400 that like change their mind. It's like strong opinions, loose held, 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:02.080 like that's what I say, and that's what I like. 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.720 If you give me new information, I'm happy to say, 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:06.800 you know what I was wrong or Okay, yeah that's 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:08.160 sounds totally. 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:09.040 Right, or like whatever. 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:12.239 I think we all need to be more nimble, and 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:13.920 I think we all need to be like get in 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:14.960 the habit of doing that more. 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.160 I think with the Internet, people. 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.440 Really like to be like what you said, like or 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:22.119 you used to and it's like, dude, we should be 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:27.200 encouraging people to constantly be increasing their information and flow 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:30.080 and being like oh yeah, like I see that differently, 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:30.920 or I do see your point. 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:32.760 I'm gonna change my mind, or actually I don't put 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:33.280 that person. 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.520 Anymore because of X Y Z like normalize it, normalize it, 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:40.040