1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:16,160
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress high

2
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:21,160
Speaker 1: Whip Smarties. Today, we are joined by TikTok's big sister,

3
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:25,479
Speaker 1: you know her as Tanks, none other than Christina Najar.

4
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 1: She is a New York Times best selling author. She

5
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 1: is a podcast and radio host, and it's really her

6
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,559
Speaker 1: wit and candor that have established her as a resounding

7
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,280
Speaker 1: voice for women. She is engaging and empathetic and not

8
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,320
Speaker 1: afraid to change her mind. We all got to know

9
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,080
Speaker 1: her with her satirical rich Mom content five years ago,

10
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,400
Speaker 1: and her takes on pop culture, theories on sex, dating

11
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,160
Speaker 1: and relationships, and honest reviews and recommendations of everything from

12
00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,800
Speaker 1: food and restaurants to beauty, fashion and lifestyle products have

13
00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:01,279
Speaker 1: placed her squarely in the cultural zeitgeist. Tinks has a

14
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,680
Speaker 1: devoted fan base and everyone is incredibly excited for her

15
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,759
Speaker 1: new novel, Hotter in the Hamptons, which is available now

16
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:14,640
Speaker 1: and is being adapted for television. Next, let's dive in

17
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:28,920
Speaker 1: with Tanks. Okay, girl, Well, before we get into you

18
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,840
Speaker 1: know where we are and what we're all up to

19
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,319
Speaker 1: these days. I actually really like to kind of go

20
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,720
Speaker 1: a little back in time with people, and I'm always

21
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,639
Speaker 1: really curious if you could hang out with your younger self,

22
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,120
Speaker 1: you know, when you were nine or ten years old,

23
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 1: do you think you would see a kind of connection

24
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,080
Speaker 1: to who you were becoming when you were a little

25
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,480
Speaker 1: kid and who you are right now?

26
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,160
Speaker 2: Hundred percent?

27
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 3: I think I think you can definitely see the roots

28
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,680
Speaker 3: of who I am. I think I would be so

29
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,800
Speaker 3: excited if I knew that this was my life when

30
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 3: I was like vibe, I would be like.

31
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, I made it.

32
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think you know who we are as

33
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,400
Speaker 3: kids kind of us in our most pure form in

34
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,079
Speaker 3: a way that's like who we are before the worlds

35
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,080
Speaker 3: with us and tells us that we can't do things

36
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,800
Speaker 3: and gives us doubt and insecurities. And I don't know,

37
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:23,600
Speaker 3: kids are so pure in that way. They're just like

38
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,920
Speaker 3: their personalities are so defined even though they're young.

39
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,200
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, so it's a really interesting thought.

40
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:31,400
Speaker 3: What about you.

41
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,639
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you would see the roots of yourself?

42
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And I think to your point, you know, the

43
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:43,480
Speaker 1: the becoming and the sort of life paths and other

44
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,480
Speaker 1: people's influence and all sorts of things that I think

45
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to say, like took me off my

46
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,280
Speaker 1: path necessarily, but definitely I feel like I went through

47
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,560
Speaker 1: all sorts of stages and phases trying to figure out

48
00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 1: what was really for me. And I think to your point,

49
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,360
Speaker 1: when when you're really young, and I think, especially like

50
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 1: feisty little girls, you kind of know yourself and then

51
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,520
Speaker 1: you get they told a lot about who you're not

52
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,679
Speaker 1: supposed to be or what you're not supposed to be.

53
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,240
Speaker 1: And I think, I think there's a really interesting thing

54
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,239
Speaker 1: as you evolve where in a way you you sort

55
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:25,400
Speaker 1: of also unlearn a lot to get back to sort

56
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 1: of core self. Where did you grow up?

57
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,080
Speaker 2: I grew up in London?

58
00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,800
Speaker 3: You did, Yeah, I grew up in London, and then

59
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,480
Speaker 3: I moved to the States when I was nineteen to

60
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,320
Speaker 3: go to college.

61
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 2: But I think, like what you're saying is so interesting.

62
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,800
Speaker 3: It's like you're pure in yourself and then the world

63
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,360
Speaker 3: like changes you because you're like, oh, I need to

64
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,720
Speaker 3: be this, I need to try this, I need to

65
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,280
Speaker 3: be insecure, I need to do that. And then right

66
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 3: around for me, like in my early thirties was when

67
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 3: I was started to like be like, oh, I need

68
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,040
Speaker 3: to unlearn all that stuff and go back to who

69
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,520
Speaker 3: I really am, and I just think it's so interesting,

70
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 3: like so many women have.

71
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,080
Speaker 2: I think most women have.

72
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 3: This evolution of like real learning who you really are,

73
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:07,200
Speaker 3: because twenties is all about like like trying on different hats,

74
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,440
Speaker 3: like you know, oh, maybe I'll hang with these people, like, oh,

75
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,720
Speaker 3: am I like a cool girl?

76
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 2: Or am I like this girl?

77
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:13,320
Speaker 1: Or whatever?

78
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,680
Speaker 2: And then New York thirties, you're like, I actually just

79
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 2: need to go back to who I am. And it's

80
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,599
Speaker 2: like it's kind of amazing. I love it. I'm into

81
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,360
Speaker 2: thirties so far.

82
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,440
Speaker 1: Oh I like that. That makes me really happy to hear.

83
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,160
Speaker 1: I loved turning thirty, I think especially because you know,

84
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,440
Speaker 1: for me and some of my closest friends, we just

85
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,760
Speaker 1: spent nine years on a show where, by the way,

86
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:39,000
Speaker 1: we repeated high school, so right, it's a emotional holdback, yeah,

87
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,880
Speaker 1: and then we were sort of stuck there and all

88
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 1: the discovery so many of our friends did in their

89
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,520
Speaker 1: twenties we didn't really get to do. So in this

90
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,000
Speaker 1: really interesting way, I felt like I was discovering a

91
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,400
Speaker 1: lot in my thirties. And then also it felt like

92
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:59,280
Speaker 1: the task of the first half of my thirties was unlearning,

93
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,520
Speaker 1: like very devout good girl behavior at work, like no,

94
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,800
Speaker 1: I don't always need to make everything easier for everyone

95
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,039
Speaker 1: else totally. And then, weirdly, the second half of my thirties,

96
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,560
Speaker 1: I think I had to confront that I didn't even

97
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:17,120
Speaker 1: know how to do that for my own life. And

98
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,599
Speaker 1: then at forty, like the first year that I was forty,

99
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,120
Speaker 1: everything shifted and I went, oh, okay, I get it,

100
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,080
Speaker 1: now this is my time.

101
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,920
Speaker 2: I love that. Do you do like what kind of

102
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,839
Speaker 2: self work do you do?

103
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 3: Or like what kind of like how how do you

104
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 3: best like get to know yourself? And like do all

105
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,359
Speaker 3: these things like do you new therapy, journaling?

106
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,360
Speaker 1: I mean everything you know artists' way. I I found

107
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,880
Speaker 1: a great, great therapist who I really like. And I

108
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,479
Speaker 1: think finding the right therapist for you is kind of

109
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,960
Speaker 1: like finding the right partner for you.

110
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,720
Speaker 2: Agree one hundred percent.

111
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,480
Speaker 1: It's like there's relationships you've been in that have been great,

112
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,560
Speaker 1: they serve a reason, they take you through a season.

113
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,640
Speaker 1: You can love people and then move on from them.

114
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,760
Speaker 1: And I think interestingly like therapy can be a lot

115
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,400
Speaker 1: like that too, where it takes a while to get

116
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,080
Speaker 1: from just enjoying hanging out with someone to get to

117
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,080
Speaker 1: a really constructive place where you know that your life

118
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,239
Speaker 1: is better because of their presence.

119
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,640
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. I know, finding a good therapist is

120
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,960
Speaker 3: like it's so key, it's so crucial.

121
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,480
Speaker 1: Has it been that for you too? What's what's Yeah?

122
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,720
Speaker 3: I have like an amazing therapist that I worked with

123
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 3: for like five years, and I've been doing my job

124
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,200
Speaker 3: for five years. So I started like being online five

125
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,000
Speaker 3: years ago, and it was so crucial to have someone

126
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,960
Speaker 3: who could like support me during this like weird job

127
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,279
Speaker 3: that I have where it's like, you know, it's not

128
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,840
Speaker 3: normal to get so much feedback on yourself, Like I

129
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,719
Speaker 3: think that's not like a normal human experience. And so

130
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,400
Speaker 3: for anyone who is in the public eye, you know,

131
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,760
Speaker 3: the regular public eye or on the internet, like it's

132
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,480
Speaker 3: just a bizarre experience to hear so much about yourself

133
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,840
Speaker 3: back to you, and you need someone to really help

134
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 3: you weather that and help you process and be like, no,

135
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,200
Speaker 3: it's not normal, Like it's actually really strange, Like it's

136
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,200
Speaker 3: really strange that you get thousands of comments about your

137
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,200
Speaker 3: appearance or this or that or like it's bizarre. So

138
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,920
Speaker 3: my therapist is amazing, and I've been with her for

139
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 3: five years, and you know, to your point, she really

140
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,440
Speaker 3: like does make me a better person. And I just

141
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,160
Speaker 3: so appreciate the work we do together. And I journal

142
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:21,560
Speaker 3: as well.

143
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 2: I actually am. I've done the Artist's way before, but

144
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,239
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't do it properly.

145
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,600
Speaker 3: So I'm planning to do it this summer really just

146
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 3: like take time and like really really use it. I

147
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,280
Speaker 3: feel very ready and very called to do it right now,

148
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,800
Speaker 3: So I'm excited about that.

149
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:41,240
Speaker 1: I do too. It's really interesting because I have a

150
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,560
Speaker 1: friend of mine gave it to me literally ten years ago. Yeah,

151
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,840
Speaker 1: and I think it's your time. And I've carried this

152
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 1: weathered copy around in my backpack on like every trip,

153
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:55,680
Speaker 1: to every set, to every everything. And I got about

154
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,840
Speaker 1: halfway through it last summer and went, Okay, I don't

155
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,200
Speaker 1: actually have the time I want to devote to this,

156
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 1: to finishing it. And in a weird way, I think

157
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 1: I also had to get to a point in my

158
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,640
Speaker 1: life where I could be okay with that, where I

159
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 1: could put a book down halfway and be like, I'll

160
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,800
Speaker 1: revisit this when I have a beat. It's important to me.

161
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,320
Speaker 1: I'll come back to it. I used to have a

162
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,920
Speaker 1: real kind of all or nothing like perfectionist tendency, which

163
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,239
Speaker 1: is terrible because perfectionism just sets you up to fail

164
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:23,720
Speaker 1: all the time.

165
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,040
Speaker 2: Its perfect doesn't exist.

166
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,120
Speaker 1: So to unlearn a little bit of that has been

167
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,679
Speaker 1: really interesting too, did it. I wonder for you this

168
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,880
Speaker 1: shift into online life because I'm thinking about when we

169
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,520
Speaker 1: met at our mutual friend's house at that barbecue. I

170
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,439
Speaker 1: feel like it was kind of in the first year

171
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,200
Speaker 1: or maybe that you were doing this thing, and I

172
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,000
Speaker 1: think about your history, you know, going to Stanford getting

173
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:53,160
Speaker 1: a masters at Parsons, Like you you had goals that

174
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,959
Speaker 1: you were pursuing in a more traditional light, and then

175
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,560
Speaker 1: you stepped into this very non traditional space. And to

176
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,920
Speaker 1: your point, that comes with a flood of information about

177
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,440
Speaker 1: yourself that is not healthy. And you've talked about the

178
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 1: anxiety of I guess the byproduct of the anxiety that

179
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:20,600
Speaker 1: comes with that. Like, why do you think the shift happened?

180
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,320
Speaker 1: What led you to say, Oh, I've gotten this kind

181
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,880
Speaker 1: of an education, but now I'm going to live with

182
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,520
Speaker 1: it in this non traditional fashion. How did you kind

183
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,880
Speaker 1: of make sense of what you thought you were going

184
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,040
Speaker 1: to do versus what you actually do now and how

185
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,080
Speaker 1: it's shifted your.

186
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,959
Speaker 3: Life honestly, don't even think I was aware of it

187
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,480
Speaker 3: when it was happening. I just like was thrust into

188
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,960
Speaker 3: the online world and I loved it. It's like very alluring,

189
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 3: Like obviously, especially at the beginning, you're like, oh my god,

190
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,720
Speaker 3: like the validation feels so good and you feel so popular,

191
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 3: and you know, you think this is incredible, like everyone

192
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,880
Speaker 3: thinks I'm funny whatever. And then so I wasn't like

193
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 3: super cognizant of where I thought I was going to

194
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,160
Speaker 3: be and like what I'm doing now. But I will

195
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,520
Speaker 3: say I think that a lot of who I thought

196
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,439
Speaker 3: I was going to be has helped me in this job.

197
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,959
Speaker 3: Like I worked in corporate America, Like I know how

198
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,280
Speaker 3: to send an email, I know how to do a

199
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 3: PowerPoint presentation, Like all that stuff has become useful in

200
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,079
Speaker 3: a way in this world. And that's truly how I

201
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,320
Speaker 3: try to just operate anyway, Like even if you have

202
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,240
Speaker 3: an experience where you're like, oh I didn't like this,

203
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,679
Speaker 3: or like this was a bad job, or this was

204
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,400
Speaker 3: this or that, like you always can take something from it,

205
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,960
Speaker 3: and it's always building to who you are going to become.

206
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,680
Speaker 3: And that's like giving me a lot of peace throughout

207
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:40,160
Speaker 3: my life.

208
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 2: So I try to think about that.

209
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:47,080
Speaker 1: Allen, Yeah, I like that. How do you? I guess

210
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 1: I'm curious about this because I know what it is

211
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,920
Speaker 1: to have a lot of people think they know a

212
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,800
Speaker 1: lot about you, and your online life is so fractional

213
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,240
Speaker 1: to who you are as a human. And I have

214
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,880
Speaker 1: the weird thing where there are people who who know

215
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,160
Speaker 1: or think they know me, Sophia, and then there are

216
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,040
Speaker 1: people who will see me and be like Brock or

217
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,439
Speaker 1: Aaron right, like they like, yell a character name at me. Yeah,

218
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,520
Speaker 1: but you are Christina and you're also Tinks. But Tinks

219
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,679
Speaker 1: is you ish?

220
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:16,520
Speaker 2: It's so weird?

221
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,959
Speaker 1: Does it feel like a character? Is it a nickname

222
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,920
Speaker 1: that came from a friend that now blew up the persona?

223
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 3: Like?

224
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,959
Speaker 2: How do you? It's so funny.

225
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,120
Speaker 3: I feel like Tinks is like I feel like I

226
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,960
Speaker 3: am Tinks, Like I really do feel like it. But

227
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:36,000
Speaker 3: you know, it's also like it's online persona, like it's

228
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,720
Speaker 3: not really who I am. And so it is interesting

229
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,720
Speaker 3: when people think that they know like all about me,

230
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,560
Speaker 3: and I mean you have the same thing. It's like

231
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,400
Speaker 3: it must be even crazier for you because you're like

232
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,120
Speaker 3: exactly some people think they know who you are. Some

233
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,560
Speaker 3: people literally think that you're a character that they have

234
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 3: so much emotional attachment to that they feel like deeply

235
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,200
Speaker 3: connected to you. And you're like, that was not me.

236
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,800
Speaker 3: That was a projection of a character that I like

237
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,800
Speaker 3: was the vessel for Like, that's got to be really shrippy.

238
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:03,240
Speaker 2: I don't know.

239
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,439
Speaker 3: I think all of these relationships that we have are

240
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,679
Speaker 3: so interesting, and it's like, at the end of the day,

241
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 3: it is beautiful to connect with people over whether it's

242
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:16,040
Speaker 3: a character or something online, but it's just it's just

243
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,439
Speaker 3: shades of reality. You know, it's different, different pinpoints of reality,

244
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,839
Speaker 3: different points of your personality, and you know, I don't know,

245
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 3: it's so interesting.

246
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is kind of a trip. And I think

247
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 1: especially no matter how open or private you choose to

248
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,640
Speaker 1: be online, you can try to be your most authentic self.

249
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,160
Speaker 1: You can try to be vulnerable where you find it appropriate.

250
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,240
Speaker 1: You can try to be the most honest about things,

251
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 1: and people are still going to receive you as they

252
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,480
Speaker 1: receive you, not as you are, and that is a

253
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,959
Speaker 1: really interesting thing. I mean, how to have to balance

254
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:02,040
Speaker 1: other people's expectations when you're just you and they're just them,

255
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,680
Speaker 1: but suddenly there's two million or five million or ten

256
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,480
Speaker 1: million of them and you're still just you. Yeah, how

257
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,760
Speaker 1: do you kind of toe the line, you know, being

258
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:18,400
Speaker 1: an online girly and maintaining a sense of privacy because

259
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,720
Speaker 1: you know, you talk about dating, you talk about your life.

260
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 1: How do you figure out what to share and what

261
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:24,160
Speaker 1: to hold.

262
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,960
Speaker 3: I've scaled back a lot on talking about like my

263
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,800
Speaker 3: like I try to talk about dating in a general

264
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,439
Speaker 3: concept and not like my own experience as much now,

265
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,920
Speaker 3: because I definitely was at a point where I was

266
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 3: kind of dating and I was telling my followers like too.

267
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,080
Speaker 2: Much like I was.

268
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,000
Speaker 3: I would be on a date and I would be

269
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,040
Speaker 3: literally thinking like, oh, I'm going to tell the girls

270
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,520
Speaker 3: about this tomorrow, like, and that's no way to live.

271
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,920
Speaker 3: I had to set that boundary, like, which is a

272
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,960
Speaker 3: shame because it's the best content and people love it

273
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,160
Speaker 3: and it would always go viral and whatever. It was

274
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,679
Speaker 3: so fun, but it just ultimately made me feel confused

275
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,200
Speaker 3: about what was me and like what was the story

276
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,240
Speaker 3: that I was telling? And that's not healthy, like, you know,

277
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,320
Speaker 3: And I think it's a trap that a lot of

278
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 3: content creators fall into, where they're like they'll do things

279
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,560
Speaker 3: so that they can talk about it in content, and

280
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,040
Speaker 3: I was just like, I need to keep this for myself,

281
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 3: Like I'm going through the you know, I'm going on

282
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,680
Speaker 3: dates with people, and maybe I spend time with people whatever,

283
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:27,000
Speaker 3: But like I'll tell my followers once it's past, you know,

284
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,440
Speaker 3: once it's in the past, and it's it's just a story.

285
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,440
Speaker 3: But I think that the active telling, like during when

286
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 3: you're seeing someone was just was too intense and it

287
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 3: was too confusing, and it just it gets it gets

288
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 3: to be confusing. I would I would think like, wait,

289
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,640
Speaker 3: do I really like this person or am I just

290
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,040
Speaker 3: going on a date with them so that I can

291
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 3: like do a podcast about it the next day.

292
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 2: Like that's no way to live. And it's just like you,

293
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 2: I think.

294
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,640
Speaker 3: You have to set boundaries with yourself and be like

295
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,280
Speaker 3: what am I willing to do for views? And you know,

296
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 3: it's always evolving, and I'm really glad that I kind

297
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,040
Speaker 3: of like hold back and I love sharing my life,

298
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,000
Speaker 3: like I really do love sharing it with my community,

299
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 3: but there's also just certain things where I'm like, you know,

300
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,680
Speaker 3: I don't need to share everything. Like I was literally

301
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 3: in the gynecologist yesterday and I was like going to

302
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,040
Speaker 3: do like a whole thing about.

303
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, like that.

304
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 3: That's another really big gray area for me because I

305
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:22,080
Speaker 3: have the privilege of like having health care, and I

306
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,880
Speaker 3: have certain you know, endo and pcos and things that

307
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 3: so many women suffer from, and I know that a

308
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,480
Speaker 3: fraction of my followers have the same, like not a

309
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,840
Speaker 3: lot of people have access to good health care. And

310
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,280
Speaker 3: so that's a gray area for me because I want

311
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 3: to inspire women who follow me to go and be

312
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,400
Speaker 3: their own advocates and you know, ask questions about their

313
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 3: birth control and ask questions about why they have pain

314
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 3: and all that stuff.

315
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 2: But it's also just difficult because it's like it's such a.

316
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 3: Sensitive thing and I'm not a doctor and I never

317
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 3: want to give medical advice and you know, but it's

318
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,680
Speaker 3: like I also know I have this platform and I

319
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,680
Speaker 3: want to inspire theomen and be like no, like ask

320
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,880
Speaker 3: your dog again, like if you feel this or whatever.

321
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 3: So that's another area where I'm like, damn, am I

322
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 3: really on the internet talking about my IUD again? But

323
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,520
Speaker 3: I hope that that helps, you know, Like that's an

324
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 3: area where I don't mind it to overshare a little

325
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 3: bit because it could inspire someone to go and ask

326
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 3: again or find a better solution for their health issue

327
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 3: or whatnot. So it's hard, but you kind of have

328
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 3: to just like set your boundaries and do your best.

329
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,680
Speaker 1: I totally feel that. And it's tricky too, you know,

330
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: I don't I've thought about this for myself where it's

331
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,480
Speaker 1: like I don't only want to reflect on something when

332
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 1: I feel like I've really buttoned it up, you know,

333
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,960
Speaker 1: where I've really settled in it, and then I can

334
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,280
Speaker 1: talk about it. It's like, sometimes I think it's really

335
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,080
Speaker 1: healthy to say I don't know yet, I don't have

336
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 1: the answer, I'm figuring this out. But then there's the

337
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 1: inverse where if you do that, if you don't have

338
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,200
Speaker 1: the exact right sound bite or you don't you know,

339
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 1: seem a hundred percent confident, people are like, oh, look

340
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,639
Speaker 1: at this person. They're in a struggle. They backed out

341
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,160
Speaker 1: of an answer.

342
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,840
Speaker 3: They and it's sometimes you.

343
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 2: Just don't know yet.

344
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes you don't, and also sometimes you change your mind,

345
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:15,840
Speaker 3: like you know, like some sometimes they're like, oh, well.

346
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,440
Speaker 2: In twenty twenty one, you said that.

347
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,399
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, that was four years ago, Like

348
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,320
Speaker 3: are you saying you never change your mind when you

349
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 3: get new information like that's badshit, Like yeah, and that's

350
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,199
Speaker 3: it's it's it's it's really tough, Like I always like

351
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,199
Speaker 3: feel so oh my god. Like just to use the

352
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,120
Speaker 3: birth control example again, I was like, because people want

353
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,359
Speaker 3: to know and I get it because it's like a

354
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 3: thing that women talk about all the time.

355
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,639
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I had an audi. I really liked it,

356
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 2: and then I took it out and people were like,

357
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 2: but you said you liked it, why did you take

358
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 2: it out? Like da da da dad?

359
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,760
Speaker 3: And I'm like, dude, Like, we're all changing all the time,

360
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 3: our bodies, our minds, everything, and you just kind of

361
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,439
Speaker 3: have to like you're can be inspired by people that

362
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 3: you see, but you don't have to like follow exactly

363
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,959
Speaker 3: what they say. You kind of kind of just use

364
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 3: it as an inspiration. But yeah, it's it's tricky.

365
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors that I really

366
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:08,400
Speaker 1: enjoy it and I think you will too. I also think,

367
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: I mean, even what we were talking about when we

368
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,919
Speaker 1: first jumped on, things are also shifting in ways that

369
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 1: we have to figure out how to address. Like there

370
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: are people who have been in my life who I

371
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 1: have respected who've like, in the year twenty twenty five,

372
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:28,239
Speaker 1: gone a little cuckoo and turned into people who I

373
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 1: watch like lie on the internet because now they're selling

374
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: you stuff with the lie and I'm like, yeah, I'm

375
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 1: super embarrassed that I talked about how inspiring I thought

376
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,719
Speaker 1: this person was five years ago. But now they're like

377
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 1: hawking snake oil and you know, making money doing it,

378
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like icky, And so I think, I think

379
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: your example of reminding people that you're allowed to change

380
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: your mind is important.

381
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 2: You can always change your mind.

382
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,240
Speaker 3: It's like the smartest people that I know are people

383
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,400
Speaker 3: that like change their mind. It's like strong opinions, loose held,

384
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 3: like that's what I say, and that's what I like.

385
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 3: If you give me new information, I'm happy to say,

386
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 3: you know what I was wrong or Okay, yeah that's

387
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 3: sounds totally.

388
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 2: Right, or like whatever.

389
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,239
Speaker 3: I think we all need to be more nimble, and

390
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 3: I think we all need to be like get in

391
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 3: the habit of doing that more.

392
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 2: I think with the Internet, people.

393
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 3: Really like to be like what you said, like or

394
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 3: you used to and it's like, dude, we should be

395
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 3: encouraging people to constantly be increasing their information and flow

396
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 3: and being like oh yeah, like I see that differently,

397
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 3: or I do see your point.

398
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna change my mind, or actually I don't put

399
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 2: that person.

400
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 3: Anymore because of X Y Z like normalize it, normalize it,

401
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 3: like we can't be we can't be doing this. And honestly,

402
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 3: like I have to say, I think that I think

403
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 3: the left and I'm I'm you know, would call myself

404
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 3: definitely on the left, Like I think that the left

405
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,479
Speaker 3: could actually be a lot better about that in general.

406
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 3: Instead of being like no, no, no more arguing amongst ourselves,

407
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,439
Speaker 3: I'm like, we got bigger goals.

408
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 2: We got we got way bigger goals. We have to

409
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 2: really like eyes in the prize now. And that's something

410
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 2: I think about all the time, Like I'm.

411
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,679
Speaker 3: Just like, you know, if someone I don't know, I

412
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: just think, got to stay nimble, got to stay open minded.

413
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you know what it makes me think

414
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 1: of for us, you know, the there's that like don't

415
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,199
Speaker 1: panic art that you see everywhere where, like all the

416
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: little fish are being chased by the giant fish. Yeah,

417
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: all the little fish make and even bigger fish and

418
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,239
Speaker 1: go after like the one. I'm like, guys, we have

419
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,439
Speaker 1: to stop like little fish fighting and make the to

420
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: get the big fish because like are you paying attention

421
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: to like logging and they're legalizing chemicals like arsenic like

422
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: in the air. Yeah, we have to stop with some

423
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 1: of the semantics and.

424
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 2: Some of that.

425
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 3: And I know we're like on the internet like getting

426
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 3: on each other's asking like well you said this, and

427
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 3: I think technically we should say this. And I'm like, dude,

428
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 3: we actually have like like alarm bells should be ringing,

429
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 3: like this is a weird and weir in crisis.

430
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 2: And I think that we.

431
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 3: Can stop fighting amongst ourselves about like whatever in the

432
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 3: TikTok comments and we should all be banding together.

433
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, because the billionaires are trying to poison

434
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,880
Speaker 1: our water and build bunkers and we still need tap water,

435
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: so like, let's.

436
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 3: Also Meticans don't fight amongst themselves, like I honestly like,

437
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,239
Speaker 3: I honestly admire them. I think it's one of their

438
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 3: greatest strengths is that they never fight with each other.

439
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 3: You never see that, like even if they have disagreements,

440
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 3: that they're never like publicly like talking bad about each other,

441
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 3: like having squabbles.

442
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 2: They are united and boid does it show well?

443
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: And they unite in like a crazy way, in a

444
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: crazy way like when I when I when I see

445
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,879
Speaker 1: certain things happen and I go, oh, well, that's going

446
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: to be the end of this for someone like you know,

447
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 1: Roy Moore, a pedophile running for office, and the Republicans

448
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, but he's a conservative civil vote for him.

449
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the fuck? Like what And

450
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: by the way, I don't think that's good banding together

451
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 1: at all. I think that's actually really terrifying.

452
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: No, but it's like, but it just it does illustrate

453
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: like how hard they ride for each other, and I

454
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 3: think that's a huge key to success. Like even when

455
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 3: Pete Hagscept literally chatted war group plans like yes, they

456
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 3: were like, well, who hasn't done that? And I'm like

457
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 3: if someone on the left that everybody else would be

458
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 3: like bring them at the stake, like kick them out,

459
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 3: Like no, And I'm like, to your point, it's not good,

460
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 3: but it's effective.

461
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, And it's like the thing that was never

462
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: lost on me was that it was the tech people

463
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: from the George Bush White House that gave Hillary Clinton

464
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: the server. They were like, oh, this is the only

465
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,959
Speaker 1: way you're going to be able to do your work

466
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 1: also from home. We'll come set it up for you.

467
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: And then and then the Republicans turned it into this big,

468
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 1: like this radical leftist scandal, and I was like, no, no,

469
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 1: this is what this is, like bipartisan technological information sharing,

470
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: and you can critique it, but to act like it

471
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 1: was like some step things she did when Bush's guy

472
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: literally did it for her, what are you talking about?

473
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: And then they're on signal and I'm like, okay, okay,

474
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: so really nothing matters. But they stick together to your.

475
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: Place, they stick together, they stay together. It's a clear goal.

476
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 3: It's singular goal, and it's stay in power, and they're

477
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 3: doing a really good job of it.

478
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 2: And I would like to see less like less left

479
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 2: on left crime.

480
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just totally agree.

481
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 3: It's like, do you want to be right or do

482
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 3: you want to win? You know, like the kind of thing.

483
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, and it's past for.

484
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: Me even like right or win. It's like do you

485
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: want to be the most right or do you want

486
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: to lose the planet. It's like I feel like we're

487
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: in an endgame. I'm like, guys, if we don't figure out

488
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: how to be the Avengers, like, yeah, the universe blows.

489
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: Up, so I know, I know it's scary. It's scary times,

490
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 2: it's scary.

491
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: It's also I think important for us to have conversations

492
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: like this. I think it's important for us. I really

493
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: do think it matters for people who care and who

494
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 1: care to be informed, who are willing to operate with

495
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 1: a science mind to say, I do agree that science

496
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,360
Speaker 1: is real. Truth is truth, like the air should be lean,

497
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: and I always want to learn more. I always want

498
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 1: to intake more. I always want to challenge myself to

499
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: expand my purview. I think that that requires I mean,

500
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: I know, at least for me, it requires a certain

501
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,479
Speaker 1: amount of maturity. I think I was much more like

502
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: Damn the man burn it down person in my twenties

503
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: than I am now. I've really learned to value, you know,

504
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 1: patience and pragmatism, and I can have hard conversations that

505
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: are not do or die. Yeah, like in this moment

506
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: for you, and you know that might be for me

507
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: getting into my early forties, in this sort of mid

508
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: thirties moment for you when you look at the girls,

509
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: you know, as you talk about being tech talk's older sister, Like,

510
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: when you look at these girls who look up to

511
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: you in their twenties, are there are there lessons like this,

512
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 1: you know, patience, willingness, whatever it may be. Are there

513
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: lessons you really wish you could pass down to them

514
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: that you've had to learn as you've entered a new decade, I.

515
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: Think one hundred percent.

516
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: And I try to like share as much as possible,

517
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: and some of them, you know, you really just have

518
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 3: to kind of go through it, like some of it

519
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 3: is just life experience and you need to just kind

520
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 3: of do it.

521
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: But I always say, like I wasted.

522
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 3: So much time in my twenties, like worried about body

523
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 3: image stuff, and I think that's one of the ones

524
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 3: where it's tricky. But if I could just impress upon

525
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,479
Speaker 3: the younger girls like to not let it be the

526
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 3: main thing in their life and like we all have

527
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 3: our struggles, we're all on a journey. One hundred percent.

528
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 3: It's terrible for women. But I just feel like if

529
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: I had wasted a few less hours like being so

530
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 3: mean to myself and just like how much it held

531
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 3: me back, Like I think just literally switching self talk

532
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 3: to being from negative to positive, like genuinely will change

533
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 3: your life. And I so I hope that, you know,

534
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 3: listening to me, they can kind of try to do

535
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 3: it a little earlier. I mean, I think dating like

536
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 3: not seeking validation from other people, not losing yourself in

537
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 3: relationships like so important, and you know, my twenties, I

538
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 3: was just seeking validation. I just wanted validation. I didn't

539
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 3: I wasn't even like, oh does this person like me?

540
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: Like am I having a good time? Like do I

541
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 3: feel seen? It was just like I need to like

542
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 3: have this validation if this person liking me back, and

543
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 3: you know.

544
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: So I try as much as possible to share my.

545
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 3: Experiences and and and just like you know, encourage them

546
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 3: to think about things and to think about themselves more kindly.

547
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's what I want.

548
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 3: I mean I kind of also wish I had had

549
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 3: when I was like in my twenties. I wish I'd

550
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 3: had an influencer who was like single, because I felt

551
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 3: like everybody online was in a relationship and I was like, oh,

552
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 3: I'm such a freak, like it's only me, and so

553
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe I'm like hopefully if they're single,

554
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,479
Speaker 3: they can see that you don't die. If you're single,

555
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 3: it's you can have fun, you can have a full life,

556
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 3: and it's actually like a beautiful state of life, and

557
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 3: you should everyone should be grateful for all those stages.

558
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: Totally. I also think it's so I don't know. I mean,

559
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: I know, we sort of split. I won't say a generation,

560
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 1: but we split a decade, you and I And I

561
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: feel like in my twenties, all women were ever encouraged

562
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: to ask essentially boiled down to the unasked question, which

563
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: was am I being chosen?

564
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 2: Not?

565
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: What do I choose? What do I like? What makes

566
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 1: me feel good? What makes me feel secure? How am

567
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: I being treated? It was like what can I do?

568
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: And how can I and where can I live? Yeah,

569
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: And it was this It was really sort of toxic.

570
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: And it's interesting, you know, I've had to come to

571
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: terms even with how the pressure that I don't even

572
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: know that I was conscious of about wanting to be

573
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: a parent and what forty men and all of these

574
00:27:55,040 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: things sort of made me not self interrogate certain things

575
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: in ways. Yeah, getting into something that I thought was

576
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 1: one thing and then I realized was not, And like

577
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: it was a weird moment for me to sit and

578
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: go Oh, I had such a good time spending years

579
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: of my thirties being single and I had no pressure

580
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: about it. And then I almost feel like that thing

581
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: from back then crept back in and I didn't even

582
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: see it coming.

583
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

584
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we've got to talk about this stuff.

585
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so real. I know, some of the best

586
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 3: years are the single ones, and you've just got to

587
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 3: enjoy it for what it is and like push the

588
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 3: pressure outrage against it because it's just not useful or

589
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: helpful at all.

590
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

591
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think that attitudes like that are changing

592
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: in what you see at least with your audience online,

593
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: because you know, you talk about the I'm talking about

594
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 1: that pressure, you're talking about body image for example. There

595
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: are so many ways we've been sort of consciously or

596
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: subconsciously encouraged to make ourselves a little smaller or a

597
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: little more self conscious. Do you think it's changing.

598
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 2: I wish that I could say it was.

599
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 3: I think like the society we live on is a patriarchy,

600
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 3: and it like thrives off of keeping women down. And

601
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 3: I honestly, sadly think that a lot of the aggression

602
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 3: we're seeing towards women now is a reaction is a

603
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 3: direct reaction to like the Me Too movement, Like I

604
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 3: think that that was a big power moment for women

605
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 3: where we were able to band together and like really

606
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 3: start talking about something that has plagued women since the

607
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 3: dawn of time and something that's extremely difficult and extremely

608
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 3: hard to talk about.

609
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 2: We've found a way. And my personal opinion is that.

610
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 3: A lot of like the war on women's health care,

611
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 3: the war on abortion, the war on women right now

612
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: is kind of a direct reaction to women banning together

613
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 3: and being like, oh, no, actually.

614
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 2: You can't do this anymore. We're going to talk about it.

615
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 3: I feel like with women, we fight so hard and

616
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: we still can only make incremental progress because the odds

617
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 3: are really stacked against us. And right now, I think

618
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 3: like with this current administration, it just feels very aggressive

619
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 3: towards women, and it feels like women are sometimes not

620
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: even people in their eyes. Like you know, when I

621
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 3: were always reading the thing about like, oh they're going

622
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 3: to pay women, Maybe they'll pay women five thousand dollars,

623
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 3: like it's an incentive to have a child, and it's

624
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 3: like that's insulting because the hospital built to actually birth

625
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 3: the baby is more than five thousand dollars.

626
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: So that's that's actually insulting.

627
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 3: Like if you actually thought of women as people, you

628
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: would address that the fact that there's no universal healthcare,

629
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 3: you would address the fact that there's no manatory paid

630
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 3: like you would address you know, like you would even

631
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 3: address all the problems we have with kids, guns in schools,

632
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 3: et cetera. But they they're not thinking about women as people.

633
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 3: They're thinking about them as a tool to get to

634
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 3: their economic goal.

635
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 1: Well, they're thinking about us as breeders. And the unfortunate

636
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: thing is and they really gave it away in that

637
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: Dobbs decision when they said they want to ensure a

638
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: domestic supply of infants. And then you find out that

639
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: there's tech companies that are pitching, you know, oh, Texas

640
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: is a great place to build your company because look

641
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: at our birth rates, you're going to have a big

642
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: labor force.

643
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: It's like, it's honestly weird. It's like, don't does it

644
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 3: not bother you? Like as a fellow human being? Like

645
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 3: does it not bother everyone?

646
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: That?

647
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: Like that's how they're thinking. Like it creeps me out.

648
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, what, I don't know. That doesn't really

649
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: doesn't put me in the mood to have a child,

650
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: but whatever.

651
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I don't know. It's just like I think

652
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 3: it's getting better in the sense that I think women

653
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 3: are super aware of like what's happening to them and

654
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 3: what's going on. It doesn't make it any easier, you

655
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: know what I mean. It doesn't make it any easier

656
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 3: in the day to day.

657
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: And so I don't know.

658
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 3: Like the stats are saying women are thriving, that we're

659
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: going to college more, more, more single women own homes

660
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 3: in the US over thirty than single men, Like women

661
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 3: are outperforming men in every vertical, But like, why doesn't

662
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: it feel better?

663
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: Why doesn't it feel better?

664
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: Because the fact that we are, the fact that, as

665
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: you said, we've gained any measure of power, is why

666
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: we're being attacked and trying to be relegated to second

667
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: class citizens again because they don't like it. And it's

668
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: like you forget that it's not a this or that

669
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: and us or them. It's if we get paid better,

670
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: the GDP of the country goes up, everyone gets paid better,

671
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: everyone does better. It doesn't have to be this sort

672
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: of totalitarian dogg eat dog energy Like that's so patriarchal.

673
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: It is, Yeah, I know, and that's like not what

674
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: women want. They seem like a matriarchy, and like I

675
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 2: know that, I know we don't. We don't want to

676
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: like and all men.

677
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 3: We just want to like get paid fairly and like

678
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 3: not be like have life be so hard, Like it's not,

679
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's it's you know, I'm so proud

680
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 3: of women for all that we've done, for those stats

681
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 3: that you hear, like it's it's really incredible about how

682
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 3: women are just in so many verticals, like really making

683
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 3: incredible advancements.

684
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 2: I just wish that it, you know, felt like more.

685
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, I felt felt like nicer.

686
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I wish it felt like we weren't

687
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: in quicksand all the time.

688
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 2: Oh, such a good way to put it. That's right.

689
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of it for me.

690
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

691
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. I want

692
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: to I want to pivot to some joy because you

693
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,719
Speaker 1: know your book is out. Yes, it's so exciting you

694
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: by the way, you wrote a story about women, like

695
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 1: when you think about becoming an author, that's a big deal.

696
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,919
Speaker 1: What was the what was the impetus for this Where

697
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: did the story come from? Why did you decide you

698
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: wanted to write a book? Why did you want it

699
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 1: to be fiction instead of your story? Like, how did

700
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: this come to fruition? How did you take literary power?

701
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: I wanted to do something that was purely creative.

702
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 3: I like, I think that, you know, sharing my life

703
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 3: online is like it's always about me, and I'm a

704
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 3: bit sick of myself, to be honest with you, And

705
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 3: I just like wanted to do something that was like

706
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:45,240
Speaker 3: a story. I've always loved storytelling and stories and and

707
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 3: you know, I used to write these little characters on

708
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 3: my Instagram and I was just like, well what if

709
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,240
Speaker 3: I kept going and like finish the church story?

710
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: So I wanted to do something that was fun. You know.

711
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 2: I also think you really need escapism right now.

712
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 3: I wanted it to be light and glamorous and sexy,

713
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,280
Speaker 3: and I wanted you to be able to like drink

714
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 3: rose and read it in one sitting one summer's day

715
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 3: and just like have a glimmer into the world of

716
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 3: influencing in the Hampton's and like just glamorous, fun, sexiness.

717
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's I wanted to do it because.

718
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: I was inspired to do it, and that's like the

719
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 2: purest thing.

720
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: You know, Well, were you drawing on real life experience,

721
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: Like have you spent a lot of time in that space?

722
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: Where did this sort of story begin.

723
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,280
Speaker 3: I've spent a lot of time in the Hampton's. Honestly,

724
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 3: a lot of it was like inspired by my followers.

725
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 3: Certain questions they would ask me kind of sparked my creativity.

726
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,280
Speaker 3: And you know, I made the main character an influencer

727
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 3: because that's the knowledge I have.

728
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 2: But she's not me.

729
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 3: It's you know, there might be some easter eggs in there,

730
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 3: there might be a few characters based on real life people,

731
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 3: but she's not me. I just wanted to do like

732
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 3: a creative story, something that was separate from me, and

733
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 3: something that just felt like escapism, like summer escapism.

734
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, And obviously I have to I have to

735
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: ask about some of the online you know, narrative about it,

736
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: because the novel is it is it's glamorous, it's luxurious,

737
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: it's spicy, so sappok. There's been a ton of you know,

738
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 1: conversation and chatter about what's appropriate there and what's not

739
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 1: because you're not a queer woman, but you had a

740
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 1: queer collaborator Gabrielle. But then people were saying, you know,

741
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 1: she wasn't credited properly, And then you were like, but

742
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: she's in the acknowledgments, like can you catch us up

743
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:48,439
Speaker 1: what happened here?

744
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 2: Yeah?

745
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: Why do you think it took off that way?

746
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 2: I don't know. I like, I had the best experience,

747
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 2: Like I think it's the right thing to do.

748
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 3: Like I'm not a lesbian, so I I don't have

749
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 3: that lived experience, and I wanted to get it right.

750
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 2: I wanted to nail.

751
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 3: It, and I thought, I think it's also the right

752
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 3: thing to do to like hire a queer voices and

753
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 3: you know, collaborate when needed. And it was an amazing experience.

754
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,800
Speaker 3: She's an amazing writer and we had a great time

755
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 3: working on it together. So I don't I'm not really

756
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 3: sure why the narrative like took off like this. It's interesting.

757
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: Do you maybe think it's about what certain people think,

758
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: Like you were saying what the right term should have been,

759
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: like you acknowledge her as a collaborator. Other people said

760
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: you can't deny a ghostwriter, and you're like, how is

761
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: someone a ghostwriter if they're literally printed as a collaborator. Yeah,

762
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: do you feel like it's an x's and o's thing.

763
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 2: I don't.

764
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like I think, like when you hear

765
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: the word ghostwriter, it sounds like someone just wrote the

766
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: book and like a celebrity slaps their name.

767
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 2: On it, and that's not what this is. So I think, like,

768
00:37:59,040 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 2: I don't.

769
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 3: Know, I think we're matter, but like she's literally the

770
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 3: first person acknowledged in the credit, in the acknowledgments, like right, so,

771
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 3: so I think like And also a lot of the

772
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 3: people who are commenting on it haven't read it yet,

773
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 3: so I think maybe when they read it, they might

774
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: see more of like what it is and what it's not.

775
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: I feel, so yeah, so we'll see obviously.

776
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: You guys, you know you can't help a grin when

777
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: you talk about her. You had a great experience working

778
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: with her. What is it like to work with a collaborator?

779
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,879
Speaker 1: And I ask, because it's something I think a lot about.

780
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: I love writing, but I you know, I'm more of

781
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: a classically or you know, partially collegiately trained journalist, like

782
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 1: an op ed or an essay is really my space. Yeah,

783
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: when I think about some ideas that I you know,

784
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 1: I am toying with and I'm like, maybe it would

785
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: be really fun to write something with someone because I've

786
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: never written a book before. What was it like to

787
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: sit down with someone? What does collaboration look like? Are

788
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: you walking around the city like recording your conversations? Are

789
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 1: you zooming? How is it to learn that with somebody

790
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: like her?

791
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: I mean, it's amazing, Like it was my first time

792
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 3: writing fiction, so I feel like I learned so much

793
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 3: from her. She's an incredible writer, and it was it

794
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 3: was a great experience. Like I'm a really collaborative person.

795
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 3: I like to learn all the time, and yeah, it was.

796
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 3: It was great, Like I don't I don't know why,

797
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: as is with online, like everything gets twisted into something

798
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 3: that it's not Like it was an incredible experience and

799
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that I did it.

800
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and that's why I'm I'm like, what is

801
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: it like to collaborate with someone rather than you know

802
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 1: what everybody else wants to dissect it into, like were

803
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: you guys in the same city or were you were

804
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: you doing more phone calls like across the country? You know,

805
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,760
Speaker 1: how do you how do you get into the cadence

806
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 1: of a creative project.

807
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 3: Like that we like, I mean we worked together so

808
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 3: closely and like it would take on different forms. We

809
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 3: were in the same city, but you know, we would

810
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 3: talk all the time and it was very like very

811
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 3: back and forth, like constant communication, constant working, constant talking.

812
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: And yeah, it was great.

813
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 1: That's really exciting. And the book has barely been in

814
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: the world and it's already been announced that it's going

815
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: to be a show the Fosters sisters are doing.

816
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 2: Is so excited.

817
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: What is What does it feel like now that the

818
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: book is coming out? Obviously you've had a while since

819
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: it's been finished, and now you're going to start to

820
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: develop it for the screen. Do you feel like, because

821
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: of how much time you've had with the book, you're

822
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: really ready for that. Does that also feel like a

823
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: completely new adventure and you're ready to learn how that works? Like?

824
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: Where are you in that process?

825
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: I'm so excited to be an executive producer.

826
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 3: The Fosters are so smart and so incredible, and I

827
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 3: am so excited to roll my sleeps up and get

828
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 3: to work. And we started working on it, you know,

829
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 3: start talking to writers, So I can't wait. It's going

830
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 3: to be a new skill more learning, and I'm just

831
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 3: so excited.

832
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: That's really cool. Will you? Will you start trying to

833
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 1: identify like a showrunner first and then go from there.

834
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 3: We're talking to writers right now, so someone who will

835
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 3: be able to adapt it for the screen. So that's

836
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:25,240
Speaker 3: just an incredible experience. Meeting all these super talented people

837
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,280
Speaker 3: and just hearing their ideas about how to best adapt

838
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 3: it for TV is like so cool.

839
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Do you have kind of a

840
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: dream cast in your mind or does it feel like

841
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 1: I do? You do?

842
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 2: But it's on my phone? But it's like, I'm not

843
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 2: saying who it is because I want to manifest I

844
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,479
Speaker 2: don't want to drinx it. But yeah, I have people

845
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: that I would really love to be involved, so we'll see.

846
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 2: I think if anyone can do it, it's the Fosters.

847
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 2: They're so smart.

848
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 1: I love this for you guys. It's really exciting when

849
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: you think about the book, when you think about Hotter

850
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: in the Hamptons, although I guess book show either is

851
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 1: there an immediate craziest Hampton story that's yours or someone

852
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 1: else's that comes to mind?

853
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I have a crazy Hampton story, but

854
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 3: I signed an Nda so I can't talk about it.

855
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 3: Oh and I but yeah, Like, I'm so inspired by

856
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 3: the Hamptons.

857
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: I've spent a lot of time there and it just

858
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 2: is one of those places.

859
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 3: It's very crazy, always happens, it's always romantic, it's always

860
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,280
Speaker 3: like wild.

861
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: And so that was all like big and.

862
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 3: Spell for the book as well, just that it's a

863
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 3: place where, like truly anything can happen.

864
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the kind of place that feels like a

865
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 1: character in and of itself.

866
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 3: Just like New York and sexon City. It's like exactly,

867
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,919
Speaker 3: it's one of the characters. So I'm excited for people

868
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 3: to get immersed in that world.

869
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: I love it. I can't wait. Okay, I have a

870
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: few and they can be rapid or not if you prefer.

871
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: But since you are TikTok's big sister, we have a

872
00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 1: couple of large, sort of feme questions that we need

873
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 1: your advice on. First of which, what do you think

874
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 1: is the biggest dating red flag.

875
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: When they don't ask you questions about yourself? Oh?

876
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 1: Yes, and when people are rude.

877
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 2: To God, that's unacceptable.

878
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: What's your first date deal breaker? Is it being rude

879
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: to servers and arrest.

880
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 2: Rude to server, rude to anyone, just like bad energy. Yeah,

881
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 2: for sure.

882
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,959
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Do you think it's ever okay to ghost someone?

883
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: We actually got that question a lot in advance of this.

884
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: I think it's okay if you've never met them in person,

885
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 3: like if you're talking on an app, like, I think

886
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 3: it's okay to just it's fine if you've never met

887
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 3: them before.

888
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 2: But yes, exactly, exactly okay.

889
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: Do you think you can ever come back from getting

890
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: the eck?

891
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it's possible if you really like them.

892
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 2: I think it's solvable for sure too. Yeah.

893
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 3: If it's small, I think you get over it. You're like,

894
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 3: oh I can look past this.

895
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: Mmm. Interesting. I don't think I've ever gotten over it

896
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: because it takes me a little while. You get there, Yeah,

897
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: I get there. It's like it's it's like a stick

898
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 1: of work in it. It's definitely done.

899
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

900
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: We talked about this a little bit, but more in

901
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: terms of your online community. But for you, if you

902
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,439
Speaker 1: could give your twenty two year old self one piece

903
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 1: of advice, what do you think.

904
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: It would be?

905
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 3: Stop worrying so much. It's really not it's really okay.

906
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 3: And you're very young, and you don't need to have

907
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 3: everything figured out.

908
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that a lot. And lastly, not a

909
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 1: rapid fire question, but what when you sort of look

910
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: out at the year ahead of you right now and

911
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: all the things you're working on and the place you

912
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,320
Speaker 1: are in your life, what feels like you're work in progress?

913
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 3: Oh?

914
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 2: My gosh, myself. I'm always We're all always works in progress,

915
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 2: like we all are. We're never done and it's just

916
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 2: more about like enjoying the journey and enjoying working on yourself.

917
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 2: And yeah, we're never done working on ourselves. I'm the

918
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 2: work in progress, I guess always