WEBVTT - Jenny Yang 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:05.840 By the way, when I was in Europe, I was like, 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:09.360 when we got drunk off approall Spritzer's late at night 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:13.160 with my mom watching us, I was just I automatically 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:16.040 turned into an obnoxious American who tried to do a 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:16.760 British ACCP. 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:20.000 This is drunk Jenny in Europe. It's awful. 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:22.680 Oh my god, I love it. Yeah, apaol Spirits is 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:23.360 a leaders. 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:29.760 Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Preust's questionnaire. It 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:34.040 was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players would 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:37.839 ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:38.760 The other player's true nature. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.599 In asking different people the same set of questions, you 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.960 can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:48.960 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:51.720 just a jumping off point, What greater depths would be 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:55.800 revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.720 I adapted Prus's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.160 questions that I person think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:05.560 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:09.039 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship real 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.800 or fictionalized? Defines love for you? What question would you 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:16.920 most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:19.680 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.280 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.759 out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:30.319 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:33.039 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:36.320 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.880 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:44.240 their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.039 fertile ground to connect. 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.440 My guest today is Jenny Yang. Jenny is a Taiwan 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.480 born Los Angeles raised stand up comedian and TV writer 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:57.800 who was named on a Variety's Top ten Comics to Watch. 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.280 Jenny recently started opposite Michelle as an assassin in the 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:05.440 Netflix action comedy series The Brother's Son. You can watch 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.800 our monthly comedy show Self Help Me, a competitive self 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:12.840 care comedy show, in Los Angeles, or stream online anywhere 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.519 around the world. Find Jenny online at Jenny Yang dot 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:24.480 tv and Jenny Yang tv on Instagram and TikTok. Where 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.519 and when were you happiest. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:32.799 Oh man, so many answers to that. Fortunately, Oh my god, 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.120 can you imagine if someone said I've never been happy? 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:39.520 Oh, by the way, no one's ever actually said that, 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:43.440 but they've really resisted the notion of happiness sort of 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:48.160 being a question we shouldn't be aiming towards happiness, and 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.400 I've had to resist going and what should we be 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:54.320 aiming towards my hot dogs? I'm a vegetarian. Also, I 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:56.040 don't even know why did I use that as the 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:58.600 as the as my equivalent, seeing like, what the fuck 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:02.800 is wrong with me? Raikey? No one I said I've 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.480 never been happy? But that would actually be really funny. 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.160 Yeah, I feel like, am I that person? No? I'm 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:08.760 not that person. 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:13.320 Relatively recently, I took my mom, who is a kind 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.720 of mom who's an immigrant who's lived all her life 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:18.800 for other people, you know, doing factory jobs. Was a 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.799 garment worker. My dad passed away a few years ago, 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.000 and she had sort of taken care of him, and 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.040 now she's like, what do I do? So I was like, Mom, 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.400 I'm going to take you to Europe. You've never been 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:30.760 to Europe. We're going to go to Europe, And I 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:35.640 don't know if I can describe the feeling of like, oh, 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.000 I'm a grown adult now I can afford to take 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.480 my mom to Europe and to like treat her, especially 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:45.760 someone who doesn't treat herself, has never been treated, who 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.680 always still has this old school mentality of like comparing 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.080 prices with like what things used to be in Taiwan, 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:54.600 like many decades ago. 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:55.400 Do you know what I'm saying? 0:03:55.400 --> 0:04:00.880 Like there's just something about the satisfaction of like, I 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.760 am so happy to spend my heart earned money on you. 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:04.120 Mom. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.600 We went to a formal British tea in London. 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:08.560 Where did she go? 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:12.320 Oh god, I forgot it was some hotel. 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.960 It was everything was sort of cream. We sat down. 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:18.520 It was me a British friend of mine who I 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.000 acted in The Brother's Son with, who's like a stunt 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.440 guy who speaks Mandarin, so my mom doesn't speak English, 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.760 so she was so happy to be with him, and 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:27.200 then my fiance Corey. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:28.080 We sat down. 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:32.880 It was like full service afternoon tea, so many utensils, 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:34.600 so many bowls and plates. 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:36.440 You know, there was a pear. 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.240 Juice that was topped with like a puff of cotton 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.919 candy cloud, Like my mom was out of her mind. 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:44.560 She's like this is too much opulence, and she like 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:46.440 teared up and she's like, wow, like I wish your 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:47.920 dad was here to enjoy this. 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.000 And I was like, oh my god, just get me 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:50.720 right in the heart. 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:50.960 Mom. 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:54.040 We're just in the lobby of this hotel just crying. 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:56.760 Oh my god. Isn't that amazing to be able to 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:58.840 do that? Like you got to do that for her. 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.640 It's not like a distance memory. This just happened, Yes, 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:05.080 Like I love the immediacy of happy memories, things that 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.480 happen right now that you know. I was completely present 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.120 for that. She was completely present for that. I will 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.239 never forget this. That is a cool memory. I really 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:16.200 understand that. Like, I know it sounds weird because you're 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:19.360 talking about your mamma, but as a single mom, yeah, 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:22.160 every single thing was for my kid. I never thought 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:25.760 twice about, you know, the money that I spent on him, 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.120 And it's very rare that you have that opportunity, Like 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:32.640 how amazing is an adult to be able to give 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:33.400 that to your mom. 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.760 I feel like I talked to so many peers who 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.279 have tough relationships with their parents, and I had a 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.640 tough relationship with my dad and feel like there's too 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.000 much of a generation or cultural gap to have real 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:48.760 relationships with them. 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.200 And I think if you're able to, I. 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.640 Really do think it's worth the effort to like push 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.760 forward your adult relationship with your parents so that you 0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:59.800 can heal. It's very healing to be able to treat 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:01.600 my you know, Oh my gosh. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:04.560 That's a really good point. And I had this conversation 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.600 the other day with someone. We were talking about forgiveness 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:11.120 in general, and we were both kind of annoyed by 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.599 the word and by forgiveness and you're not allowed to 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:15.720 ever say that, And we were both like, do you 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:17.640 want to like bitch about forgiveness a little? Yeah? I 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:19.520 kind of, I kind of do. I kind of feel 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.920 like forgiveness is, you know, a pain in my ass 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:24.760 and I don't know why am I doing it and 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:27.680 what's it for? And I don't know that I completely 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:32.000 agree with that, but I do believe in healing and 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:34.679 the idea that you can actively do something that looks 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.840 like it's having tea with your mama. Yeah, and actually 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.760 what you're doing is healing something for you with her, 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.119 and I'm sure something for her with you, and something 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.080 about the whole kind of gusht out and dynamic of 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:49.200 parent child and who knows because you too busy eating 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.880 scones and pair juice with cotton candy froth. But when 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:56.400 you review it, it sure feels like healing. Like that's 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.000 really cool. I'll take that end of day of the week. 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.280 The point is is that you want to be able 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.560 to push the relationship to the point where you can 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.239 enjoy the other person. So like, my mom is terrible 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.919 at receiving love, and so for me to have gotten 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:10.600 to the place where I could treat her to this 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.680 elaborate British tea, I had to teach her how to 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:15.880 receive love. I literally had to teach her how to 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.600 say I love you too. I had to teach her 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.920 how to hug me back. This is all the process. 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:25.440 My god, Jenny, what incredible patience really truly and also generosity. 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.000 These are much better words than forgiveness than me. I 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:31.040 really like patience and generosity. Like that you would take 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.320 the time to not just be annoyed by that or 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:35.560 hurt by that. She didn't argue, but to say, and 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:37.840 maybe I'm sure you did spend time being hurt and 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.720 said by that, But to actually just teach her to 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.120 do it, and now maybe she does it and it 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:47.480 must be incredibly satisfying when she does because you taught her. 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:48.880 Oh yeah, I know. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.360 So It's just this is one of those things I 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:54.040 like to talk to my friends about, you know, in 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:56.320 terms of like what did it take to get there? 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.880 How do we feel better about our little stories? 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.040 Oh, that's so interesting. How do we feel better about 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:04.520 our stories? 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.360 You know, like the life stories that you tell yourself about, 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.560 like how we've struggled or you know, why we're here 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.400 on earth and all of that. And you know, that's 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:14.440 just like one example. 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.160 What is the quality you like least about yourself? Oh? 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:23.640 My goodness, it changes. 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.400 But for the most part, I think the thing that 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:30.160 I beat myself up about the most is feeling like 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:33.120 I'm not doing well enough or doing enough. I think 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.199 as a little immigrant girl, I was the youngest of three. 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:38.840 I was five when I came to America. My brothers 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.120 were like fifteen and fourteen. They did not acclimate well, 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.600 and I was the first one to acclimate. And I 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:48.440 was getting a's out of the womb, and so you know, 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:54.040 I was very rewarded for like performing for like delivering a's, 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.640 you know, going to good schools, giving my parents the 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:02.240 checklist to make them feel like their immigrant story was 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:03.560 worth it, you know, all of that. 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:07.199 Yeah, and deciding to do creative work. 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:08.960 Yeah, that must have been a big deal. 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.840 Literally it's not school. Yeah, creative work is not like 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.920 structured for you. No one's going to give you an 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.000 assignment necessarily to define your worth. 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.840 It's all very open. You have to structure it. 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:21.000 You know. 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:22.880 And I think that was what I knew. 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:24.960 I was like, oh, this is a way for me 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:29.240 to undo so much of the stuff. Now I've been 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.400 able to achieve a measure of success as a comedian 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:35.480 and a writer, but still it's like it's still a struggle, 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.439 you know, every day because, as you know, nothing's guaranteed. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.720 You have to create your own work sometimes all the time. God, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.559 you've been at this business longer than me, and it's. 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.520 Try not to diss the hustle, but oh my god, 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.080 the hustle. Yeah, Christ like a bit of a day off, 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:52.600 Like I like a bit of a day off from 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.920 the hustle, thanks, just like maybe count some money. 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.719 Yeah, well, listen, we're all just out here trying to 0:09:58.760 --> 0:09:59.800 figure out passive income. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.680 I know the way passive income. 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:07.080 Oh, that's a T shirt, Jenny, I want to get 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:09.800 passive income on a T shirt because that is actually 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.720 can we can we make that stand passive income. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:15.600 I do a monthly show called self help Me where 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:18.640 I make fun of wellness influencers, and I'm obsessed with 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:23.400 the sort of wellness influencer grift, especially that the financial influencers. 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:24.480 The joke we like to. 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.439 Say is like, if you're not making one thousand dollars 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:30.200 a week in passive income, kill yourself, Like why do 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:30.960 you even live? 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.560 You know what I'm saying, Like why do you even exist? 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.800 Okay, what is your worth if not measured according to 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:40.760 the passive income you're getting? So yeah, maybe we should 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.080 make money off of a shared passive income T shirt. 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.760 First of all, I think it's a really really good idea. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:47.920 I made a T shirt the other day because I 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.440 read this glorious Steinem quote and it made me so happy. 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.520 And then I found the perfect navy blue and white 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.040 baseball tea. And then I found a website where I 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.480 could make just one T shirt where I should have 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.200 made more, and on the front and very small letters, 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.040 the truth will set You free. But first it will 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.120 piss you off. And then it just said glorious steinem 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:10.120 on the back, and I cannot tell you how many 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:13.800 people have gotten in touch. I could have made some 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:17.520 passive fucking incoming do it. I could still do it. 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.000 You can still do it in a wholesaler. I feel like, 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:21.280 you know, I'm going to have to give someone that 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:25.640 money to like Gloria Steinem Inc. I feel like Gloria 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:29.560 Steinem inc is actually called planned parenthood. So that's what 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.480 I'll do. But we should make if we made a 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.840 passive income shirt. Yeah. By the way, I think this 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.880 is actually a really good idea because people are very 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:41.320 much into making statements that are kind of conversation starters 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.680 and also declarative. Like my friend gave me a hat 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:46.080 that just says back in five. 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:48.400 That's really cute. 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:50.200 It's my favorite hat. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:50.839 I love it. 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.000 I think don't be surprised if you get an email 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.480 from me at some point or a DM that's massive 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:57.160 income T shirt. 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:00.200 You're not kidding. And by the way, let's workshop some 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.000 other T shirts, because I feel like four is a 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.839 really good number, and people having a choice of four, 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.160 they're more likely to buy two. This is my own 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.800 economic theory. Oh my god, that if you give people 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.360 four then they will buy two of the four because 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.439 they'll be like, oh my god, I got almost all 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:17.800 of them. 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.680 I am dying right now that on this podcast we 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.280 are birthing a T shirt collab. 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.640 One hundred percent and also, by the end of the podcast, 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.960 I want us both to try and figure out a 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.240 name for our T shirt company. Okay, it should just 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.200 be by the way. I want by one us to 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.719 make passive income. I want plan a parent who to 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:38.320 get a bit of it. Yeah, I want us to 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.559 get a bit of it. Oh, this is going to 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:40.840 be great. 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:42.000 We're figuring this out. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.520 What relationship, real or fictional, defines love for you? 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.319 I mean, this is a boring answer, but you know 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.480 my partner and I his name is Corey. He's a 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.559 midwestern guy from Wisconsin who's not a regular white guy 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.720 because for a long time I didn't date white guys. 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.920 But I found this one who's a cozy midwestern man. 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:22.439 What's different about him from the other people that you've dated. 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:24.040 I just had a better picker. 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.240 Do you think that that that you change? 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:26.439 Oh? 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.160 Yes, that's good. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.080 Oh my goodness, this is what's messed up. 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:34.200 It's like all of the like aphorisms and cliches that 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:38.480 you see maybe like on an inspirational Instagram quote or something. 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:41.319 It's all true, but it's so hard to live it, 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.240 like to figure it out in your bones. You know 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:47.280 it is. It's like, you know, be be with someone 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:48.640 who you feel safe with. 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:50.720 Bitch, I don't know how that feels. 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.280 Wouldn't know that if it jumped out the toilet and 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.880 bit me on the ass, and if it bit. 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.080 Me in the ass, I would be like, Oh, that's exciting. 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:03.400 I love the Ooh, maybe I need a tennis shot. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.760 Maybe I just need to jump into bed with you exactly. 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:09.920 That is not It's not even an exaggeration of the 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:14.199 kind of like reptilian brain process that probably happened when 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.400 I just like chose men in I'm just like, do 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.600 I want to climb you like a jungle gym. 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.520 I'll make this work. You'll love me. 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:25.120 That is so wild. I feel like it was like 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.560 Trauma Tetris. With most men, it was like, oh, which 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:32.440 bit by insecurity and fucked upness? Are you? 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:32.720 Oh? 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.920 Yep, it doesn't fit, but I'm gonna make it fit. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.720 I love Trauma Tetris have you have you coined that 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:38.280 came with that? 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.760 By the way, that's another T shirt. That's a T 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.080 shirt right that trauma Tetris. Listen, I'm telling you this 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.480 real magic happening. I'm trying to think of a T 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.760 shirt company. I don't know what it's called. I'm like 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:55.600 going Yang Mini j Yang Driver minij Mini j Yang's 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:56.520 gonna be something funny. 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:58.960 Driver Yang makes it sound like an Asian driving joke, 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.440 which we don't want on stereotypes. 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:02.800 We're gonna come up with that. 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.800 I'm telling you, so, my guy, he's a cozy banestering guy. 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.040 I didn't know that love can be cozy and safe. 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.640 That's so nice. Cozy doesn't get enough play as a 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:15.720 real proper descriptive of like what you want in a 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:20.000 love life. Yeah, cozy and safe is really cool. Yeah, 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:24.280 And actually, because I really got exactly the same thing 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:29.360 with my guy much older than you, finally found him. 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:34.080 And it's incredible how those cozy words cozy and safe 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:38.480 can actually become super hot. And that's an amazing revelation. 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.920 Is like the hotness in what I before would have 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:44.200 just like rolled my eyes out, like if there's not 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:50.359 blood driven down my arm. It's not love so dramatic, 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:55.080 such a total nightmarish drama, Creed. I mean, basically, the 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:56.960 poor guys who were with me, like I do feel 0:15:57.000 --> 0:16:00.760 some modicum I'm sorry for them, but also crist on 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:01.160 a bike. 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.320 Yeah, I mean, you know, it's totally true. 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.680 You have to learn how to give yourself comfort and safety, 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.480 to know how it feels in order to know when 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.120 someone else can be that for. 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:11.560 You too, you know what I'm saying. 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.960 Like, I didn't realize that becoming more mature meant being 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:17.760 more aware of my body and how I respond to things, 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:20.480 cause I feel like a lot of us just live 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.520 in constant fight or flight, and then to actually know 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:28.160 what relaxation is is like, oh, that's well, that's kind 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:28.520 of good. 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.760 That's so funny. I haven't been making any movies or 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.600 TV shows recently. And I was lying on my bed 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:38.000 reading my book this afternoon, and I'm nuts in love 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.920 with this book, and I was having such a great time, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:42.320 and my dog was there and I'd just given him 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:43.880 a bath, and there were clean sheets in the bed, 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:45.280 and there was a breeze coming through the window, and 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.400 like it was all so good, and I suddenly got 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:52.120 this terrible, like adrenal rush of I'm not fucking doing anything. 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.640 I'm not making passive income. I'm not making any income. 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:57.480 I'm just lying here reading this book. What the fuck? 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:02.160 And I learning to in those moments to just go. 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.160 Could you just take your foot off the gas? Yes, 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:10.359 let's just call it half an hour? Just you spent many, many, 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.040 many many years and many many many hours exhausted and 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.960 working so hard like there was a wolf chasing you. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.840 Could you not just lie here for twenty minutes and 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:23.280 read your lovely book with your dog and feel the breeze. 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.880 Yes, that's a I feel like that's a perfect example 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:27.639 of how I'm trying to heal. I definitely took a 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:29.440 break during the pandemic. I was like, the world was 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.800 too depressing. I have too much to process. I'm falling 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.280 in love, my dad's dying. There's so much happening. We 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.760 need to just, you know, chill out during the pandemic. 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.400 The other story I like to tell my friends too, 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.800 of like, there is a female comedian a friend of mine, who, 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.840 at one point a couple of years ago, was just 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.840 driving down I don't know, Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.800 or something, and all of a sudden, she started getting 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:56.000 blinded from the outside to the middle while driving, somehow 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:59.320 managed to pull over, went blind, goes to the doctor. 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.600 The doctor like, the only thing we could figure out 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:03.560 is that your adrenal glens are busted. 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:05.240 This is a stress response. 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.840 Holy cow, Minnie, I'm telling you. While I'm listening to 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.879 her tell me the story, my mouth was just so 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.600 wide open. I was catching flies. I was like, how 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.720 how do you run yourself as a stand up comedian? 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.240 And then she goes, yeah, I probably was just not 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:27.120 resting and ignoring everything. And there's also the adrenaline of performance, right, 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.800 like a lot of us are. You're chasing that an 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:31.720 adrenaline high, you know, all. 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:35.280 The time, and it's missing. You don't feel normal, so 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:40.560 exactly resting feels actually unsafe, like you're gonna be punished 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.320 for it. Yeah, and like you're going to fall off 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.240 the edge of a cliff. I've really examined that. This afternoon, 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.800 I was like, oh my god, I literally feel like 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:49.800 something terrible is happening and I'm just lying on my 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.480 bed with the breeze coming through the window. This is 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.200 something that needs to be examined. 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:59.399 But that's also why people become performers, exactly, And this 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:03.760 is why people become actors and in front of the camera. 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.760 You know, I feel like that's just you. 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:08.480 Just like it. I just like it. 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.120 Your trauma response skills can be rewarded. 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:15.800 That's exactly correct. It is the evolution of my father's 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:17.760 advice find what you love and get someone to pay 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:21.800 to do it. It's like, find what's most traumatic and 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:23.440 get someone to pay to do it. 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:27.160 I'm really good at this. I'm really good at being 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:27.879 in fight or flight. 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:30.760 I'm really good at making cortisol. I don't want to 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.919