WEBVTT - BA Q&A: What to Know Before Sending Your Kid to College 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.480 It's time for the b a q a A the 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:22.000 b a q a what you say, the b a 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.880 q a man day, the b a q a with 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:30.800 today the b a q a a b abssion question answers, 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:34.000 you have questions, we have some answers. We are not 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:37.159 your therapists. That's your financial advisor, your attorney. But we 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:41.800 are too smart brown girls when it comes to money, career, business, 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:47.319 personal finances. So today we have a special guest relations Yeah, well, 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:47.920 I mean I don't. 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.920 Know about relationship. You know, I think you. 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:56.040 Too, But we have someone in the studio today with us. 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:02.960 Welcome as Carolyn Jones. Yeah, hello, where are you? Yeah? 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:04.720 I'm excited. You got to see a little behind the 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:09.160 scenes of us figuring out what the heck where are 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:10.200 you joining us from? 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:12.840 I am from Toronto, Canada. 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:22.280 We're international, that's it. He real. Nice. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:24.640 See you're an honorary Canadian. 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:30.480 Now what's your BA story? How long have you been listening? 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.840 Oh, I've been listening for some time. And actually I'm 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:39.280 a mentor in Tiffany's mentor program. So yeah, I've been 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:42.600 enjoying that immensely. You give so much knowledge and it's 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:47.200 it's been such a great experience. So yeah, really appreciative 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:50.120 actually of the opportunity to come on talk to you guys. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:54.560 Awesome, Well hit us, what's your question? We are going 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.000 into this completely blind. 0:01:56.520 --> 0:02:00.360 Okay for sure. So I'm in the state age of 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:04.240 life where my daughter is going off to university and 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:07.960 you know, you have, you know in your mind that 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:11.799 you've saved enough money, but technically it's probably going to 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.840 be like twenty grand a year probably for four years, 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:17.760 which can add up really quick. And then on top 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:20.560 of that, you know her spending and different things that 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:24.560 can go on while she's in university. So you know, 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.919 I did have some savings when we first started, when 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:31.400 she was born, actually we started putting away, but you know, 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.520 the times are interesting times now. Of course she's going 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:36.880 into university where the market has kind of made a 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:40.519 little bit of a downturn, and so you know, you've 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.400 lost money a little bit there. But but how do 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:47.160 we kind of navigate through this new phase of life? Right? 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:51.680 And secondly, you know, to actually help her with her 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.520 own budgeting skills. Yeah, so when did she start her 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.760 first since in September twenty twenty three. 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.520 And is it in Canada that she's going or in 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:02.080 the US. 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:03.800 She'll probably be going in Canada. 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:07.880 Yes, yeah, I want to know, do y'all have well? 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:09.720 In the US? I know, we have the FASTPA, which 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:12.480 is the Federal application for Financial Student Aid, which is 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:16.320 like key to unlocking scholarship money also student loans of course, 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.000 but any kind of aid. Do y'all have something similar 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:19.720 in Canada? 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.400 We do? Yes. It goes by income based based on 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.799 the parents' income, and so it's something that you can 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:27.840 definitely tap into as well. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.959 For sure, are y'all in that middle class trap where 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.079 you like earn too much to get a lot that's 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:37.960 exactly the same. I'm like, none of the good tax deductions. 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:38.800 I don't get none of them. 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.440 I know, well, I would say that there are. I mean, 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:46.680 even if she, you know, doesn't qualify for income based assistance, 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:48.800 I'm sure she's smart as a whip because she got 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.640 you as a mama, and so I you know, now 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:54.080 would be the time. This is what I'm doing for 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:57.720 a supergirl, My my bonus daughter is like applying for 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:01.320 any type of scholarship that she might you know, qualified for, 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:06.400 so really leaning into her guidance counselor and any other 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:10.800 like resources online that helped you to identify scholarships and 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.440 money is available that are not income based, but maybe 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:17.200 their merit based. Maybe she's a you know, she's a cheerleader, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.640 or she's really good at science. 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.119 You know, she's a young woman of color. So that already. 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:24.520 I mean, I don't know how that works in Canada, 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.800 but you know here, you know, so I would be 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:30.040 leaning into because there's so much money left on the table. 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.520 So I'll give you an example of my sister. When 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:34.600 she was in she thought she was going to be 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:36.120 a doctor. She's a scientist now, but she thought she 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.400 was going to be a doctor. And so she got 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:43.320 a scholarship to Montclair State University that paid for school. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.360 And when she applied, she was so nervous about whether 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:48.200 she was going to get it. And when she submitted it, 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.479 the lady was like, you could have literally wrote Mary 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.120 had a little land one hundred times and you were 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:53.800 going to get it because there are five spots and 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:57.880 only four people applied. Wow, And so there's a lot 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.640 of money left on the table. There's probably not as 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:03.160 much competition as you think. So I would start with that, 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.279 you know, because when did you said and it's coming up, 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.320 but still, you know, there's money can be happened, can 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.760 happen every year season school, so it's not like, yeah, 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:14.599 it has to open found. 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:16.920 Does she have like a does she have a thing? 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:19.960 You know, is there a sport or a yeah? 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:24.239 Does like me that? Okay, yeah, she does dance. 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:26.720 I never had a thing. So jealous of any kid 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.680 in college. I was like, I don't have a thing. 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:33.040 I'm just black, I guess. But no, I would say 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:36.160 there's any sort of scholarship through her the dance community. 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.560 And does she have her eye on a particular school yet? 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.560 Yeah, she's been really you know, my daughter is very indecisive, 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.800 so we've done a lot of like research and going 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:48.920 around and checking out different schools. So I think she 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:50.720 has her eye on couple now. 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:55.680 But yeah, I would strategize if she has specific schools, 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.440 I would get in touch with her or even just 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.479 google and go to their website and see what sorts 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.560 of scholarships they have because for me, one of the 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.200 and I'm glad Tiffany mentioned that some scholarships you can 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:09.080 renew every year because when I was in school, I 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:13.440 studied journalism and there was one scholarship through that specific school. 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:15.039 It was a few thousand dollars and you had to 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:18.680 apply each year, you had to remember to apply. But 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.240 if there's like a yeah, if there's a specific school 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.760 or focus that she wants to pursue, they may have 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:29.080 particular scholarships for people like her. And then with the 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.280 with the concept of indecisiveness too, Tiff, like, I think 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:34.839 we should talk about what are the options for maybe 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:36.839 if she doesn't really know where she wants to go 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:39.560 yet or what she wants to do, you know, going 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:42.400 into a smaller school to start with, like a community 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:46.360 college or equivalent in Canada. I don't know what the 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.960 structure is like there, but you know, figure out, get 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:52.440 your core your core classes, you know, under your belt, 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:54.880 save some money, and then transfer in potentially to a 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.600 bigger school if that's what she wants, and they'll talk 0:06:57.640 --> 0:06:58.359 about yeah. 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:01.000 Yeah, I would totally agree with that, because even when 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.880 we did some tours and the bigger schools really did 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:08.159 overwhelm her, and so it was she really did gravitate 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.600 to some of the smaller schools. And again, you know, 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:12.800 you're coming from a high school that's like maybe I 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.560 don't know, four hundred students at the most right, Like 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.280 it's a really small school. So going from that to 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.720 like something like seventy two thousand is just you know, 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:22.560 kind of a little overwhelming for them. 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:26.080 Right, Beware those little tiny liberal art schools though, those 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.280 are the ones I get. Everyone like, get so many 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:32.720 kids wrapped up in student loans because they are are private. 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:36.520 Oh yeah, they're so true. And they'll tell you because 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:38.160 I almost ended up going to a school like that 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.240 in Georgia. They were like, you get twenty five thousand 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:43.360 dollars tuition, you know, like a scholarship, and I was 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:45.320 so proud, but then I realized, well, the total scholar 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:49.920 the total tuition was like forty k. And yeah, it's 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:54.040 really not Do we take a quick little break, brb. 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:58.360 All and we're back. Second question. 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.280 The second question about how do you get her on 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.960 you know, financial to start thinking about things, you know, 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:10.120 you want to start having those conversations now about her, 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.679 you know, about her personal finance. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.320 I mean, I will recommend Gigos money. 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:18.080 It's a great pre college post college, but honestly, even 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:21.520 working through it maybe with her or just like like 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:25.520 there like any financial tool, like working through it with her, 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:27.960 having those conversations like when you go to school, you 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:29.640 might be interested in getting your credit card. 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:31.000 Here's what you should look for. 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.800 Here is you know, when it's just in case she 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.520 does get student loans, you know, when your free front 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.920 check comes. Here's the best way to navigate that. So 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:45.439 having those conversations ahead of time, deciding on a game plan, 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:47.679 and working through it with her, because she's got to 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:50.439 make mistakes, but you want her to make mistakes under 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.640 the protection of your parent or guidance. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:54.559 You know, That's what my dad did. 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:56.719 I made mistakes, but it was like, hey, this thing 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:59.120 is happening, talk to me before you make that move. 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:01.320 So we map data plan so I didn't feel so 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.160 kind of like I was just out there making choices 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:03.800 by myself. 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:08.200 Mm hmmmm. So important actually, yeah, to create a plan, 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.920 especially with her, you know, are you like do plans? 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:12.160 Keep them structured too? Right? 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:15.160 So let's be real, are you what kind of mom 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:17.480 are you? Are you like a, Oh, they're gonna mess 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:18.920 it up. I'm just gonna do it for her? Kind 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:20.800 of are you feeling out her applications? What are you 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:23.840 writing your essays? What kind of mom? Are you? You're real? 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:26.880 Okay, I think I'm not quite on the far end 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:29.120 of that, but probably somewhere you're in a year right 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:30.880 because you know you want the best for them, and 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.760 that's the thing you have to try and let them 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:34.280 do their thing, but at the same time. 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:38.200 Go easier said than easier said be said. But you know, 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.640 with all my experience, my all my three years of 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.480 raising a tiny human know what I would say is 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.120 I have seen what happens when you overdo it, like 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:50.559 you do everything for them, and the lack of confidence 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:52.680 so that I can create and then making their own 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.920 decisions that can follow them well after college. Like a 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:58.000 college degree is all well and good, but I think 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:01.280 the lessons of being kind of lung out into a 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.319 relatively you know, like you still have the support of 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:07.520 your family, but relatively like independent environment, and be like, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.600 have her decide what's my budget going to be for 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:12.440 my meals? I don't know if she decides to not 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.080 get the meal plan for example, which I decided to 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:16.840 do to save money. I had to learn how to 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.640 buy groceries and budget for that and get a part 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.920 time job so that I could afford my rent. And 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.440 that really instilled so much independence and confidence that was 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.679 I feel like a part of the college experience, and 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:34.840 I'm just I've seen it go the other way, and yeah, 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:37.480 I would just say, as much as you can, let 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.960 her figure out her own situation and let her come 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:44.560 to you if she has questions, give her some like 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.079 guidelines and you know, let her know that she has 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.040 a bit of a safety net. But as much as 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:51.920 you can let her be her own person making her 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:52.640 own choices. 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:57.240 You know, It's funny because as a parent, you and 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.520 I think, I think I've fall into this generation where 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.760 you're trying to give your kids a better life, right, 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.400 so you remember the struggle, you remember how it was, 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:07.920 and so therefore your trying to provide so they don't 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.120 have to worry about those things. But I think in 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:13.760 somewhere in there, we're losing that sense of independence and 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:18.599 we're losing the sense of you know, initiative. So I 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.920 try and myself aware of that, but it is hard. 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:24.040 Sometimes we're like I don't want to make a decision 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:26.240 because like what's mom going to say? Or for me, 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.960 it's like seeing someone not being able to make their 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.280 own choice until they've spoken to a parent or whoever 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.440 that person was who's been sort of pulling the strings. 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.440 I mean, I'm not saying go. Like my parents were 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.040 out where, they were like, you'll be fine bye. I 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:41.880 was like a last I was a last key kid 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:45.880 in every sense of the word. A little, a little 0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:48.839 you know, support would have been nice. My dad did 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.800 love to take any grocery shopping though. That's the one 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.000 thing he would do. He'd come to college and we'd 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:54.960 go to the Walmart together and it'd be fun. But 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.160 he'd want to go after work hours because that's when 0:11:57.160 --> 0:12:02.920 the single moms go to Walmart, so he could and 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.000 he was just like, yep, he would like narrate our 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.040 shopping trip, like, oh, just take him a baby girl 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:09.280 up to Walmart. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.840 I know, so the people would know, like, I'm just 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.240 a good dad, good. 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.480 Single dad doing his you know, out here working hard 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:18.760 and see what prices are on the beast. 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:19.360 You know. 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:21.920 Yep, oh again, that's good. 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:24.920 I'm gad to your daddy something out. 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.280 Yeah, But honestly, I think it's constant communication. But yes, 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.720 you're wanting could because college is the time. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:32.920 To make the mistakes, you know. 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.319 You know, there's a lot of forgiveness when you're seventeen, eighteen, 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:39.440 nineteen twenty, you know, credit scores can go down because 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:40.360 they could be raised again. 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:42.840 You know what I mean, You're gonna make those mistakes. 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.199 You're gonna actually want her to make those mistakes because 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.640 as she learns to dig herself out, then she's the 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.679 twenty five year old with the confidence and the knowledge 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.880 to like, you know, get on the street and narrow, 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:54.040 you know, so not to freak out when her credit 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.640 score is terrible or she over spends. 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.600 Or she's late or behind. Those are normal. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.960 Things for that age range. You know, I didn't make 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:04.480 those mistakes until well after college because my dad kind 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:07.080 of narrated exactly what to do when I was in 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:08.960 I just did what he said. And then when I 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:10.360 was like, I got it, I did. 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.320 It and I was like, wait, what do I do? 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.080 And so I made every mistake hitting the book that 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.720 I was cleaning up by the age thirty, and I 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:19.679 just wish, you know, I had the freedom to make 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:25.240 more mistakes when I was when I was younger. So yeah, yeah, exactly. 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.960 You know, it's like falling when you're eighty versus following 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.760 falling when you're eighteen. You know, you following you're eighty, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.320 that hip is going out, you know, eighteen, you know, 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:37.439 you know, you'll get out of a little embarrassed. It's like, 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:38.560 let that baby fall. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.880 When she's when she's when she's young, you know what. 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.600 It's like I said, having those conversations regularly, checking in 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:47.840 regularly because really, to me, your job as a parent 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:49.720 is to give your kid the tools, you know, not 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.320 to do it for them, so that what they can 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.520 learn along the way. And so the tools that you 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:55.600 come up with based upon how you know she navigates. 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.360 I mean, you're her mama, so you know, like my 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.320 mom knows me well, she knows if I do like this, Tiff, 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:00.000 he's not gonna listen. 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:01.480 So I got to do it like this for her 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:01.920 to get it. 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:05.040 So knowing that finding tools that will resonate with how 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:06.880 she shows up in life, you know. 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:10.160 And so those are truly young. It's hard to like 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.840 remind young people to think about the future because everything 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:15.400 is like so in the moment. But if there's things 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.439 that she wants to accomplish, like spring break trips, those 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.960 always coming up nowhere, and then it's like am I 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.440 gonna how am I gonna pay for this? Like if 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.120 there's certain goals that she has, or if she has 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:27.240 to travel for her dance, you know, competitions or buy 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:31.200 equipment or outfits and stuff. Maybe it's about creating a 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.080 budget that is realistic for her, like what are her 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.080 goals and what she actually going to be paying for 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.080 and helping her just set up her accounts. And then 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.880 I had a question for you. So financially, you said 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.720 it's about twenty k a year tuition. Well, that's what 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:47.240 y'all are looking like, So what are y'all's options for 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.120 paying for that? Do you have a nice nest egg 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.600 that you're thinking do I dip into this or would 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:55.240 y'all potentially like are you thinking of maybe co signing 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.080 loans if it comes to that. I'm just wondering what 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:57.880 your options are. 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:00.760 So I guess as parents, you always thought that we 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:02.840 would pay for at least you know, the first degree, 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:06.960 you know, the first the version that decide. Yeah, right, 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.560 And so we do have savings that we created when 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.280 she was she was young, and which I think will 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:17.600 last us maybe two to three maybe years, and then 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:19.960 after that it will come from our source of being 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:20.600 come for sure. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.280 So I mean that's incredible, But I don't think that 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:27.760 that should dissuade her from looking for really an economical 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:30.640 way to approach her education, because like that money could 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:32.480 be a down payment for her first house as well, 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.480 you know, or just selling or for her business if 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.480 she decides to launch a business like something. You know, 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:41.680 she ain't got to know that money is there. 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.880 This is it? 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:56.480 Like yeah, Carolyn, you say, Canada, Canada A. 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.640 Yeah, I do think knowing that there's a big nest, 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:01.880 like a big financial cushion, just that knowledge will make 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.200 you go through life a little differently. I don't it's that. 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.320 It's I think you're right. It's about setting them up 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:08.880 for success and making sure that they don't have to 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:13.000 struggle like we did. But how can you create a 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.800 sense that she's gonna you know, support? 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:19.760 It doesn't agree, right because I feel like black and 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.720 brown people we have this thing where like our kids 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:24.560 should know that things are hard. 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.200 And I'm like everybody else don't live like that, you 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:27.640 know what I mean? 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:29.520 You know what I mean? 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.280 And so like, you know, like for example, Alyssa, right, 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.360 my stepdaughter, she knows that there is a bunch of 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.360 money waiting for her, either to pay for school or 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:40.120 to pay for a home, and that she's going to 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.560 be fine because I want her to choose what she 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:44.640 wants to do, not what she feels like she has 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.320 to do in order to scrape by and make ends meet. 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:49.760 Because I there was a I don't I don't know 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.240 if you remember, we were in We're in that black 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.440 finance group right elevate on Facebook and someone posted like, 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:00.440 how many people who own a home you know, got 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:02.720 down down payment assistant from their parent? 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:04.840 And like everyone was like, what does that even mean? 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:07.040 And she had posted it in our like you know, 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.760 like necessarily it's not a white financial group, but it's 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:14.320 basically most people there are white, and almost more than 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.160 half said yeah, and it's not even something I feel 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.720 like black and brown people can conceptualize like wait. 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:20.960 Your parents getting ready for. 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.960 You know, and so like that kind of financial support 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.280 is foreign to us, but it ought not to be. 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:31.320 I want to listen to know that, Like, yo, you're 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:33.720 good either way. Choose what you want to do and 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:37.800 what you enjoy. I haven't found that it has dampened 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:43.879 her like desire for for more. If anything, She's like, 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.520 you know, Tiffany, the way you navvig, I want that 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:49.719 kind of life that you've been able to provide. What 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.560 does that look like? So where she's always starting a 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.800 new business. Always she's my TikTok account manager. She finally 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.480 got back to it because the money was running low 0:17:57.640 --> 0:17:59.560 and she was like at bed back and beyond nec 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.359 on bottom. That's her new obsession, you know what I 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.280 see that. What I love about it is that I 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:07.840 thought that too, that maybe it was going to make 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:09.600 her kind of like spoilt, and it's like, no, it's 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:13.439 made her say, I want to maintain this lifestyle, you know, 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:15.800 and so what does that look like? And I talked 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:19.399 to her about it, like, hey, you know, this is 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.000 what I'm making. I don't need all this in order 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.359 to do this lifestyle. But this is about the range 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:27.520 that you'd have to make to make this lifestyle happen. So, 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:29.480 because once you leave here, girl, you're gonna be on 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:32.159 your own, you know. So if you're wanting this, you know, 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:33.720 you have to think to yourself, what am I going 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:35.679 to do for a living that will also provide this 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:38.040 for me. So we have those conversations because I think 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.240 a lot of kids don't, and so I just say 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.000 all that to say that, like, I don't want her 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:43.920 to think that she's going to have to struggle financially 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:45.920 because she's not, you know, And I told her, like 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.119 I have you, either way, you'll my rule for everybody 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:48.680 that I care about. 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.199 You'll never be homeless, are hungry, you know. 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:54.520 Now, excess and the bonus and the fabulous life whatever, 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.720 that's on you. But as far as the basics, there's 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:00.000 a solid foundation for you. 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:01.000 Mm hmm, you know. 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:01.800 And it's true. 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:04.280 I think it's like finding that balance between the two 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:08.040 because again, you have this need to provide for them, 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.080 but at the same time you want them to have 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:13.280