1
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,680
Speaker 1: So I a couple of years ago partnered with Mark

2
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 1: Burnett and MGM because I reached out to Mark Burnett,

3
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,880
Speaker 1: just called him, cold called him with an idea, and

4
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,080
Speaker 1: we talked about doing a bunch of different shows. At

5
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 1: the same time, a lot of my career grew in

6
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,160
Speaker 1: ways I never knew that it would when I left

7
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,840
Speaker 1: The Housewives. I mean, I knew I was going to

8
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,279
Speaker 1: keep going, but my business has absolutely exploded. And when

9
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,240
Speaker 1: I first left house Was I was a little bit worried,

10
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,159
Speaker 1: not about me being successful or going broke, but just

11
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,239
Speaker 1: that that was that was lucrative. And when you have

12
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:48,280
Speaker 1: homes and a staff and office and you know, an infrastructure,

13
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,800
Speaker 1: you have to keep the machine going. So at that

14
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,519
Speaker 1: point I did a deal with Mark Burnett to do

15
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,720
Speaker 1: many different shows, produce shows that I'm in, produced shows

16
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,160
Speaker 1: that I'm not in, and I love that idea and

17
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,600
Speaker 1: I still love that idea. And the first one we

18
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: did was The Big Shot. And the reason that we

19
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,160
Speaker 1: did The Big Shot together was because it was a

20
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,880
Speaker 1: business competition show and also because it was a natural

21
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,520
Speaker 1: need that I had. So I'm big on stacking, so

22
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,320
Speaker 1: I naturally needed to staff up because my business grew

23
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,240
Speaker 1: so exponentially, so why not use a show to do that?

24
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,280
Speaker 1: So you're double dipping. You're basically producing a show, but

25
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:25,119
Speaker 1: you're also working on staffing. So in the meantime with

26
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,520
Speaker 1: that deal, we talked about selling a bunch of other shows,

27
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,000
Speaker 1: and that's really a whole business in to itself. And

28
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,320
Speaker 1: while I want to produce other shows, I don't want

29
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,360
Speaker 1: to personally feel the pressure to do that. And I

30
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,640
Speaker 1: don't like to really be shackled to anybody else and

31
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 1: felt like I owe someone something or I don't like

32
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,840
Speaker 1: to be exclusive that much either. So when I was

33
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,640
Speaker 1: asked back to the Housewives, when Andy came and made

34
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 1: me the offer, I couldn't refuse. I had many strict terms,

35
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,080
Speaker 1: and most of the terms where you can't shackle me.

36
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,480
Speaker 1: Because everyone is shackled by being on these shows by

37
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,600
Speaker 1: their networks. There's a re is and that you didn't

38
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,200
Speaker 1: see the Kardashians and other networks as a reason why

39
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,520
Speaker 1: you didn't see the Housewives and other networks. For the

40
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,519
Speaker 1: most part, there are exceptions, single shows, single incidents. There

41
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,959
Speaker 1: reasons why you don't see a lot of Housewives doing

42
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,639
Speaker 1: certain ads. Because if it's a big, big company, that

43
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 1: might advertise on Bravo. It's being cannibalized because these people

44
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,280
Speaker 1: are now doing ads on their own on their Instagram.

45
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,480
Speaker 1: Those big brands may not have to go to Bravo.

46
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:31,480
Speaker 1: So when I came back, I said, I am able

47
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 1: to do a business competition show. I will be able

48
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,800
Speaker 1: to be on Shark Tank if I wanted to do this.

49
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,360
Speaker 1: If I wanted to do that, I was. I carved

50
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,000
Speaker 1: out a lot of things. I'm a big carbor outer

51
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 1: because it had to work for me. With the lucrative

52
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 1: deal that I was partnered with Mark Burnett in, I

53
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 1: would have to really kind of be shackled to them.

54
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,080
Speaker 1: You know, they are a major, major, multibillion dollar company,

55
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,320
Speaker 1: and um, if I would to do any other podcasts,

56
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,079
Speaker 1: I would have to do it with them, and any

57
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,839
Speaker 1: shows that have to do it with them. And I've

58
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,880
Speaker 1: just to realize, and you have to realize in your

59
00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:05,079
Speaker 1: life what your business type is. While we know I'm

60
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,200
Speaker 1: not corporate, even within this sort of Maverick entrepreneurial lifestyle,

61
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,480
Speaker 1: I am also not someone who wants to just lock

62
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,360
Speaker 1: in with one partner because there are different companies that

63
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,400
Speaker 1: make different types of shows and different production companies that

64
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,080
Speaker 1: make different types of podcasts, and so many times in

65
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,040
Speaker 1: business you will learn as you go. Did I think

66
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,240
Speaker 1: about that in the beginning. No, It's an honor to

67
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,080
Speaker 1: be partnered with Mark Burnett. I like him immensely professionally

68
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,040
Speaker 1: and personally. His wife is lovely. I go to their house.

69
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,560
Speaker 1: He's invited me to stay there, to give me the

70
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 1: chance to want a partner with me later in life,

71
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,560
Speaker 1: when he probably you know, at some point, still saw

72
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,280
Speaker 1: me as that apprentice person. I always am loyal to

73
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 1: those who have given me the chances. So the press

74
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,880
Speaker 1: will make it like either I don't like him or

75
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,920
Speaker 1: something went wrong, and you know, the truth is, I'm

76
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 1: just the type of person who wants to have an

77
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,960
Speaker 1: Ola Carte menu career. And it's extremely rare to have

78
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: a career like I do and to not have an agent.

79
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,880
Speaker 1: It's almost unheard of. People don't all people have agents,

80
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 1: And I years ago I had an amazing agent and

81
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:18,520
Speaker 1: an amazing agency in branding and talent in TV production, writing, etcetera.

82
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,120
Speaker 1: Personal appearances, and then you're locked in with them. It's

83
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,160
Speaker 1: the same exact thing. You're with them for all of

84
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,600
Speaker 1: those different categories. When I thought that maybe the agency

85
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,760
Speaker 1: might be good at one category but not the others,

86
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,920
Speaker 1: and I don't want to be shackled. So as I've

87
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:37,640
Speaker 1: gotten more successful, I've created my own menu of how

88
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 1: I operate and the projects that I do. And because

89
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,719
Speaker 1: I can get pretty much anyone on the phone. If

90
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 1: I want to do a television show on Netflix, let's

91
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,640
Speaker 1: just say and I had a good idea, I would

92
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,159
Speaker 1: find out who would call it Netflix, and I would

93
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 1: call them or I would email them, and I bet

94
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 1: they'd call me back. Based on history, they call me back,

95
00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:00,000
Speaker 1: and then we figure out who we wanted to write

96
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,080
Speaker 1: or produce it, and then I'd call it whoever that

97
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,720
Speaker 1: person was. And the messages that most people are accessible,

98
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,359
Speaker 1: so you can probably get to someone if you have

99
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,200
Speaker 1: a great way to get to them. Meaning years ago,

100
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 1: I wanted to beyond the Food Network, and I would

101
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 1: look at the television and read who produced shows, and

102
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,120
Speaker 1: then just call their offices and send cookies because I

103
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,640
Speaker 1: baked healthy cookies Bethany bakes, and lo and behold, I

104
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 1: get a meeting, but a lot of Mark Burnet and um.

105
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,320
Speaker 1: I love being a free agent. More so, are you

106
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,760
Speaker 1: a person who really likes to follow guidelines? And have

107
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,159
Speaker 1: the protection of the structure of not really just a

108
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 1: corporate infrastructure, but a business rule follower. You're sort of

109
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,920
Speaker 1: going by principles that you've seen work and you've seen

110
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,480
Speaker 1: other people practice. Or are you just making up the

111
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,479
Speaker 1: rules as you go along? Because I am an absolute

112
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: makeup the rules as I go along in every contract

113
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,919
Speaker 1: and every deal, and every product and every partnership, in everything.

114
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,800
Speaker 1: But you know, all that stuff is important to me

115
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:12,440
Speaker 1: to tell you. My guest today is Cheryl Samberg, chief

116
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:17,040
Speaker 1: operating Officer at Facebook, where she oversees the firm's business operations.

117
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,960
Speaker 1: She is Facebook's number two. She is one of the

118
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,880
Speaker 1: most powerful, intelligent women of our time, in this country,

119
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 1: in the world. I kept looking on my weekly update

120
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 1: seeing her name that she was coming on, and I

121
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,680
Speaker 1: still kept saying, to myself, is Cheryl Samberg really coming

122
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,800
Speaker 1: on here? Just like I did when Hillary Clinton came on,

123
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,160
Speaker 1: just like you know so many other people. So uh,

124
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,360
Speaker 1: it's very humbling and I'm excited to talk to her.

125
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,960
Speaker 1: She serves on Facebook's board of directors. Prior to Facebook,

126
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,960
Speaker 1: Sheryl was a vice president of global online sales and

127
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,839
Speaker 1: Operations at a small, cute, little company called Google and

128
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,840
Speaker 1: chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under

129
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,479
Speaker 1: President Clinton. In today, we talk about the importance of

130
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,839
Speaker 1: post traumatic growth, the struggles of being a woman in leadership,

131
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 1: why sometimes you need to let go of the reins

132
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,960
Speaker 1: and let your team take the lead. That's what I

133
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 1: call getting out of the weeds, and the importance of gratitude.

134
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,520
Speaker 1: I love talking with Cheryl. I learned so much. There

135
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,680
Speaker 1: were so many amazing takeaways, and I think you are

136
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:32,000
Speaker 1: going to love this interview. Hello, Hi, nice to meet you.

137
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,840
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. So thank you for doing this.

138
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,760
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to do this. You are I'm really humbled.

139
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not. You know, the show has been

140
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 1: going incredibly well, and I've been sort of strict with

141
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,840
Speaker 1: the filter about who I have on, not as it

142
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 1: pertains to sort of fame or pr but as it

143
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 1: pertains to someone's story or what they've built or where

144
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,840
Speaker 1: they've come from. So you know, you're I was talking

145
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,680
Speaker 1: to my fiance today and I was saying, uh, this

146
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,880
Speaker 1: is like my you know, my biggest kit, and he

147
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,960
Speaker 1: was like, you know it is No. I have so

148
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 1: much to say to you, ready one, Okay, I really

149
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,640
Speaker 1: admire how you've led in terms of being a businesswoman,

150
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,360
Speaker 1: like you went from a show that is I didn't

151
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,000
Speaker 1: watch it much but not really about that into like

152
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,440
Speaker 1: being like a serious businesswoman. And I a lot of

153
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,720
Speaker 1: people admire you on one of them too, I like

154
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 1: worship Skinny Margarine isn't change. I really do so like

155
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,000
Speaker 1: it's like a real thing. But three, I mean, you're

156
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,320
Speaker 1: one of the only other people I know who experienced

157
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,160
Speaker 1: lost the way I did. And it's funny. I usually

158
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,160
Speaker 1: reach out to people I try. I don't believe I

159
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,200
Speaker 1: did to you. I should have, you know, So I

160
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,120
Speaker 1: just I feel like we have so much in common

161
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,480
Speaker 1: and I'm like so happy to do this. But anyway,

162
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,880
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to do this. And what you're trying

163
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,199
Speaker 1: to talk about is all the stuff I care about, right,

164
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,600
Speaker 1: I just want to talk about you. Having people women

165
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 1: like you and Hillary Clinton on the show has so

166
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,320
Speaker 1: far surpassed what I imagined. But it's what I want

167
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,679
Speaker 1: to discuss so well. So the show. I don't know

168
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,400
Speaker 1: if you've listened, but the show is about, you know,

169
00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:01,560
Speaker 1: how someone achieved success through so many different journeys and

170
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,640
Speaker 1: had there are so many roads to rome and people

171
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,960
Speaker 1: listening are finding this to be a toolbox, so they

172
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 1: don't have to have a one size fits all success model.

173
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,000
Speaker 1: But they're taking little pieces from individuals based on how

174
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:16,360
Speaker 1: they operate in business and family and relationships. So I'm

175
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,719
Speaker 1: interested in you, and I'm interested in so how did

176
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 1: you grow up? What were your parents like? And what

177
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:25,960
Speaker 1: was your relationship to money, to success, to drive to perform?

178
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,720
Speaker 1: Like what was instilled in you or not instilled in you?

179
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 1: So I grew up in North Waami Beach, Florida, you know,

180
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:37,440
Speaker 1: a suburb. My father was a doctor. Um, my mother,

181
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,240
Speaker 1: they had both moved from New York. You know my father.

182
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,040
Speaker 1: I remember when I got into college. Um, I went

183
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 1: to a big public high school and I got accepted

184
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,480
Speaker 1: to Harvard. And I went to a high school where

185
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,080
Speaker 1: you know, a thousand kids in the class, eight hundred

186
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,440
Speaker 1: and fifty graduated, four hundred went to college. So you

187
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,280
Speaker 1: can understand, you know, this is not you know, this

188
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,920
Speaker 1: is not New York City, this is not and over

189
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 1: an exeter um. And I got into Harvard, and you

190
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,480
Speaker 1: know a whole bunch of people said to me, why

191
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,880
Speaker 1: would you want to go there? You isn't everyone going

192
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,360
Speaker 1: to be a geek. But then a bunch of people

193
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,360
Speaker 1: said to me, can you afford to go? And my

194
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,640
Speaker 1: parents were going to send me. And I went home

195
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,960
Speaker 1: and said to my dad, you know, someone asked me

196
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
Speaker 1: today if I could afford to go. And I was

197
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: really embarrassed. And my dad had tears in his eyes.

198
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 1: It was the first time I ever saw him cry.

199
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,199
Speaker 1: And he said he got into My dad, he said,

200
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,719
Speaker 1: I got into Princeton and I didn't get a scholarship

201
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,000
Speaker 1: and I couldn't go. I am so proud that I

202
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,560
Speaker 1: can send you to college. Oh that's such a nice story. Wow. Yeah.

203
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,439
Speaker 1: And so I grew up with a father who really

204
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,760
Speaker 1: you know, his father, you know, wanted to be a

205
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 1: teacher but couldn't pass the exam, worked in a post office,

206
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,640
Speaker 1: then sold insurance. My dad did it all on his own,

207
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 1: you know, worked his way through college, was still paying

208
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,880
Speaker 1: off his college and med school loans way into my childhood.

209
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,280
Speaker 1: And so I grew up with a like, you work hard.

210
00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,880
Speaker 1: We are kind of a Jewish immigrant family. We just

211
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,560
Speaker 1: came even though it had been to generations, but we

212
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,000
Speaker 1: are going to have that, you know, you worked hard

213
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,560
Speaker 1: for the next generation. I grew up with that I

214
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,160
Speaker 1: also grew up with a family that was pretty anti money,

215
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 1: actually anti business, anti flash. There were people in my

216
00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 1: neighborhood who would buy flashy clothes or flashy cars. My

217
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,920
Speaker 1: parents did not approve of that. Academics, oh, big academics.

218
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,680
Speaker 1: The academics learn for learning's sake, you know. I was

219
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,079
Speaker 1: told someone who's that one of my very best friends

220
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,080
Speaker 1: in the fourth grade told me I had fake jeans.

221
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,679
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Because everyone had the George Ash

222
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,440
Speaker 1: jeans and I didn't have the George Ash jeans. My

223
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,560
Speaker 1: mom bought me, you know, the much lower end cheap

224
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,120
Speaker 1: and then um, and my parents actually could have afforded

225
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,679
Speaker 1: to buy me that stuff. They just didn't want to.

226
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,600
Speaker 1: It was it was their values. You don't buy expensive

227
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,160
Speaker 1: genes for a ten year old. Well also, but the

228
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,520
Speaker 1: value of things like my daughter the clothes that she

229
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,520
Speaker 1: has now a couple of nicer things because she's getting

230
00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,200
Speaker 1: into some of the brands, but we're from TJ. Max.

231
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,960
Speaker 1: Because I was like, I'm going to buy a four

232
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,679
Speaker 1: year old a hundred sweater, like it to make any sense,

233
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 1: and it's all by myself, something that's hundreds of dollars,

234
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,480
Speaker 1: But I thought it was ridiculous. But also I'm a

235
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,960
Speaker 1: person who cares very much about value and that may

236
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,240
Speaker 1: sound crazy. Something could be thousands of dollars, but is

237
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,559
Speaker 1: it doesn't hold its value? Is it actually worth that

238
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,920
Speaker 1: as an experience I'll have forever or is it just

239
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,360
Speaker 1: an obvious waste of money because's got some logo on it.

240
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,200
Speaker 1: I studied that in business school. Really, Yeah, that there's

241
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,480
Speaker 1: a neighbor. I think it's the value based consumer. Yeah,

242
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,960
Speaker 1: there's like you are you are. There's like four types

243
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000
Speaker 1: and you're one of them, and that's a pretty cool

244
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,280
Speaker 1: one to be. My husband was that interesting? Yes, I don't. Like,

245
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,040
Speaker 1: I might spend thousands of dollars on a bag, but

246
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,720
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't feel right paying for a sweetener

247
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,240
Speaker 1: packet because they're just sitting there at Starbucks. They're free.

248
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,280
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't want to buy the box and it

249
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,680
Speaker 1: just would bother me. And it's three dollars. But anyway,

250
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,640
Speaker 1: you know, are you a corporate person, You've worked within

251
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,839
Speaker 1: some framework of a structure, it seems through your career,

252
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,839
Speaker 1: which is so well actually before that, actually before that.

253
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,960
Speaker 1: So we're talking about values and we're talking about don't

254
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960
Speaker 1: waste money, don't be flashy, Hey what do they think

255
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,360
Speaker 1: of your success? But then also your financial success, like,

256
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,000
Speaker 1: what is that relationship within your the people you grew

257
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,960
Speaker 1: up with and within your sort of inner circle, that

258
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,480
Speaker 1: relationship to money that do you have money noise? Did

259
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,000
Speaker 1: you always think, because if you're saying you have an

260
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 1: immigrant mentality, did you think it was going to be

261
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,720
Speaker 1: taken away from you? Even no matter how much it

262
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 1: is people have that feeling? It was really never the goal.

263
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:19,760
Speaker 1: And I grew up thinking I went to business school,

264
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,840
Speaker 1: but I joined the nonprofit club. I was going to

265
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,560
Speaker 1: work in government or nonprofits. I worked out of college.

266
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:25,959
Speaker 1: I went to the World Bank, I went to the

267
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,160
Speaker 1: Children's Defense Fund. Then I went to the U. S.

268
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,840
Speaker 1: Treasury Department. I never really thought I'd work in business.

269
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,400
Speaker 1: And then what happened is I was at the Treasury

270
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,440
Speaker 1: so during the Clinton years, and this is when the

271
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:40,079
Speaker 1: tech boom started and Yahoo was starting, and I couldn't

272
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,480
Speaker 1: believe what was happening. You know, I was a kind

273
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 1: of geeky girl, and I used to go to the

274
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,160
Speaker 1: library a lot. And then there was Google and you

275
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 1: could search and you didn't have to go to the library,

276
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,000
Speaker 1: and you don't have to look at the book. It

277
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,080
Speaker 1: was all there, and it was I thought, the most

278
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 1: incredible thing, and I, you know, really wanted to be

279
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,960
Speaker 1: part of what I thought was, you know, a different

280
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,880
Speaker 1: way of making the world better. I know our industry

281
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 1: is suffering reputationally, and I know, I know, I know

282
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: that people don't always believe this anymore, but I think

283
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,720
Speaker 1: a lot of us who work in this industry deeply

284
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,360
Speaker 1: believe it, and I do, and I did so when

285
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,280
Speaker 1: I was at Google, I was in charge of a

286
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,520
Speaker 1: bunch of operational stuff, but one of them was scanning

287
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,880
Speaker 1: the books. And interestingly, professor I had had at Harvard

288
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 1: we were scanning Harvard's books said to me, but you

289
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 1: know what special about getting into Harvard is you go

290
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,440
Speaker 1: you can read those books. Now anyone's going to have access.

291
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,240
Speaker 1: What what does that mean scanning the books? Like what

292
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: do you mean? Google had a project to scan the

293
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 1: world's books so that way would be available. So like

294
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 1: the you know, the depths of Widener Library, the depths

295
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,440
Speaker 1: of the you know, National Archives of France, Like you

296
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,920
Speaker 1: can't go you can't read that stuff except you go

297
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 1: to those places and walk the stories down and you're

298
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,200
Speaker 1: in a basement looking at old book Google for free

299
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 1: scan scanned everything, or tried to scan as much as possible.

300
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 1: And someone said to me, aren't you going to feel bad?

301
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 1: Like you worked so hard to get admitted here and

302
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 1: then anyone's going to have access? And I was like,

303
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaker 1: few bad. That's amazing. A child in India, a child

304
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,320
Speaker 1: anywhere would have access to the books that I got

305
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:12,360
Speaker 1: access to. I loved it. I just loved it, and

306
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: I believed and I still do. But you felt the

307
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 1: way of coming you were, You felt that you were

308
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,400
Speaker 1: in a place that was mesmerizing. It sounds like like

309
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,359
Speaker 1: you could feel. You know, you're a bit of a forecaster.

310
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 1: It seems like you could have sort of saw something

311
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 1: coming with a group of people before the world talk.

312
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,320
Speaker 1: I mean, no, I wish I did. I really do.

313
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 1: I wish I saw that. I don't think I realized

314
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 1: Google would be a big business when I first took

315
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,600
Speaker 1: my first tech job, and then I did want Facebook

316
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,400
Speaker 1: to be a big business, but both times it was

317
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,000
Speaker 1: it was very mission based. You know. Then, when you

318
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 1: think about the Internet in the early days, one of

319
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 1: my favorite cartoons was a dog sitting in front of

320
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: a computer and it said on the internet, no one

321
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 1: knows you're a dog. But I couldn't believe that people

322
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 1: were putting their real name and faces on the internet.

323
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 1: When I first saw Facebook, I was at Google. We

324
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 1: did information and it was all, you know, it was

325
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,120
Speaker 1: just information, and people were putting their names and faces.

326
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 1: And I had a long lost friend that had moved

327
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,680
Speaker 1: away when she was in sixth grade. And her name,

328
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to say her name, but her name

329
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,480
Speaker 1: was the most common name you could put. Her last

330
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,240
Speaker 1: name was Smith. Could not find her, could not find her,

331
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 1: and I found her. She found me on Facebook. And

332
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 1: I had been looking for this woman for like five years.

333
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,080
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. I thought it was amazing, and so I

334
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 1: didn't chase financial success and I did have that along

335
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 1: the way. You asked how my family has dealt with

336
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 1: it and my friends. I mean, probably the most important

337
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 1: thing I've done is philanthropy. And I know you've done

338
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 1: amazing things. I thought what you did during COVID for

339
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 1: small businesses, what you did, you've done, You've done some

340
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 1: really really impressive stuff. You know, my family is involved,

341
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 1: and my friends, in my in my foundation. That's amazing.

342
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,880
Speaker 1: So it's like a village mentality, which is that's amazing

343
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 1: that they can share in your success in giving back.

344
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,440
Speaker 1: What do you find to be the hardest part about

345
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: running a business? I'm trying. I want to understand what

346
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 1: your day feels like, what the infrastructure is like, do

347
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 1: you crack, do you get super stressed and snappy? And

348
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 1: we'll get into the whole bitchiness of being a woman

349
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,919
Speaker 1: in business, because that's the only aspect of that whole

350
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,399
Speaker 1: thing that I ever really feel like. I want to

351
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,400
Speaker 1: get into that the men and women thing, because I've

352
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 1: never thought about it at all except for that tough

353
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,880
Speaker 1: bitch part. But what is it like running your business?

354
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 1: Or I mean, I have a hard time running my business,

355
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 1: which is small, but I feel that it's extremely overwhelming

356
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 1: and intense and the weeds are almost impossible to get

357
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 1: out of. So are you in the weeds at all? Well?

358
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 1: The most important thing I learned as I was scaling

359
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 1: things like Google and Facebook is to make sure I

360
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,879
Speaker 1: don't think I'm that important. So when I was, like

361
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 1: when I first trained Google and a team of four people,

362
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 1: and we were running this thing called ad words, which

363
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 1: was the early part of their ads business, and we

364
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 1: were growing really quickly. We had to hire. We couldn't

365
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,120
Speaker 1: keep up with the demand, which is a nice problem

366
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 1: to have. But the four people were a team for

367
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: a long time before at and I said to them,

368
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 1: don't worry, you're all going to get to interview everyone.

369
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 1: But then a week later we had twelve people. We

370
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 1: had twelve people interview you didn't work at all, But

371
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,919
Speaker 1: I still interviewed. I still interviewed because I thought, you know,

372
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 1: how could someone join my team if I didn't meet them.

373
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 1: And so then fast forward, We're about a hundred people.

374
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 1: I have like a little structure, and I have direct supports,

375
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 1: and I'm still interviewing every single person. But my interviews

376
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,520
Speaker 1: are now five minutes. And I realized my interviews are

377
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 1: slowing down our hiring because it takes like a week

378
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 1: to get on my schedule. So in a meeting of

379
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,919
Speaker 1: my five direct reports, I say, maybe I should stop interviewing,

380
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 1: and Bethany, I fully expected them to jump in and say,

381
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 1: absolutely not. You're a fabulous interviewer. It's your team. Of

382
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 1: course you need to interview. Will make it work. Do

383
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:46,879
Speaker 1: you know what they did? They applauded, They applauded, and

384
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 1: I said to myself, oh my god, I'm not interviewing.

385
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 1: And then I looked at them and I said, I

386
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 1: have failed you because I didn't set this up so

387
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 1: that you told me to stop interviewing. I was the

388
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: bottleneck to our progress. But it's my fault that I

389
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,879
Speaker 1: had to suggest it and you had to applaud like.

390
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,679
Speaker 1: And I want to make sure next time if I

391
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,439
Speaker 1: have a blind spot, you don't wait for me to

392
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 1: see it. You all tell me, well, but do you

393
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,959
Speaker 1: think they really They might not have realized it. It's

394
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,880
Speaker 1: like sort of happening in real time, you know, like

395
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 1: no one around me realizes I'm in the full weeds

396
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 1: until I say to everyone, I'm cracked. I'm in all

397
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: the weeds. I'm answering questions on a macro level about

398
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 1: lawsuits and multibillion dollar partnerships, and then I'm talking about

399
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: you know, we'll have a moment right now where a

400
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 1: former assistant is holding pizzas for HSN hostage right now

401
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,639
Speaker 1: that I have to put on live television on frontay

402
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,360
Speaker 1: have hostage. I have a hostage crisis of frozen pizzas.

403
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 1: But that's what that's so I'm in the hostage crisis.

404
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 1: Negotiating for these frozen pizzas that are five inches in diameter.

405
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, and I said to have one. I don't

406
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: think I should be in the middle of the pizza

407
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 1: hostage crisis. I just don't think I think I should

408
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,920
Speaker 1: have and peace negotiator working on the pizza hostage crisis.

409
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 1: We'll see, we don't know. But part of that's about

410
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 1: delegating and about hiring the people around you to delegate.

411
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: I think your new show is going to help you

412
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 1: find someone, right, Yes, well, the thing is. And that's

413
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: why I want to get into a a bit of

414
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 1: the corporate versus being um like a Maverick entrepreneur comparison,

415
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: because I am the talent in the face, the creator,

416
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: the marketer. But then also I wanted one to take

417
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: me more out of the business. I don't want to

418
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 1: be the president and the CEO and all of those things.

419
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 1: I want to be able to do this stuff. I

420
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 1: want to be able to be involved in that. But

421
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: it's hard to do personal and business at the same time.

422
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: Does that make any sense? Like, being the talent is

423
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 1: very hard in addition to be running the company. It's impossible. Yeah,

424
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,159
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not the talent. But but I do

425
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,160
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying in the sense that you can't

426
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: do everything, and as your business skilled, and your business

427
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 1: has really skilled impressively, so what you need to figure

428
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: out is what you want to do and what you

429
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: don't want to do. When I took my job at Facebook,

430
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 1: you know, I went to work for twenty three year

431
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: old twenty three. The people who had come before me,

432
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 1: who were senior had not lasted, so I actually flew around.

433
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: I went to see um Tim Cook at Apple. He

434
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 1: had done that job for Steve Jobs. I went to

435
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 1: see Softracts at Oracle, she had done that. And I

436
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: went to see a man who had done it for

437
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: Bill Gates and a couple of other people who kind

438
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 1: of went in to these companies that were super successful,

439
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: and they were the number two and they were the

440
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 1: operations person. And I asked them all, like, you know what,

441
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: how did it go well? Because these were the ones

442
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: that went well, Like how did it go well? And

443
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: I listened to what they said, and I distilled it

444
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 1: down to one thing. And I went back and I said, Mark,

445
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 1: my job is to do whatever you don't want to do. Wow,

446
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: that's my job now with me and Mark. I think

447
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: we were very naturally. We fit together very naturally because

448
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: he's an engineer's engineer and a product person. I mean

449
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 1: he he really is, and I'm not. And so it

450
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: naturally falls that I lead the sales organization and he

451
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: does product. But I think that's what you need. You

452
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 1: need someone and a bunch of people who are going

453
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: to say to you, my job is to do what

454
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: what you don't want to do today. Well, by the way,

455
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,439
Speaker 1: it's a great point you're making, Cheryl, because often I

456
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 1: find from people it's about communication, where for example, I

457
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 1: was working with a house designer and these women said,

458
00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: I don't like to decide, I don't want to pick

459
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: up fern or even though the designers they wanted to

460
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 1: do renovation, interior renovation. And then the other designer they're

461
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: working with said, I hate that stuff. I like this

462
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: where I'm surprised I would have thought nobody wanted to

463
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: do the interior renovation. To your point, you probably have thrived,

464
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: obviously have thrived and wanted to do coincidentally, the things

465
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: that Mark didn't want to do well that made us

466
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: a good fit. Literally, he interviewed me for months and

467
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 1: I was so impressed with him, I wanted the job.

468
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: And it was literally months of long dinners. We talked

469
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: about everything under the sun. We talked about how we

470
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: felt about things, what our values were, what we wanted

471
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 1: to do in the world, how we worked, our personalities.

472
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 1: We spent five minutes on who does what, because it

473
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: was so obvious for us. He has products and engineering,

474
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: iron sales like it just iron hr iron policy. It

475
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't even complicated. Now, everything I do he

476
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 1: does too, right because I report to him. But part

477
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: of the scaling is finding people. And then I'll tell

478
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: you one of my other just favorite hiring stories of

479
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,919
Speaker 1: all time. A woman named Lorie Gohlder was not a

480
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 1: good friend, a distant friend, and she was in marketing

481
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: an eBay and then I went to Facebook and she

482
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: called me and she said this, She said, I think

483
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: I want to come work with you at Facebook. So

484
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 1: I thought I'd call you and tell you all the

485
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: things I like to do and all the things I'm

486
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 1: good at. But I figure everyone's doing that, so instead,

487
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: I want to know what's your biggest problem and how

488
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: can I solve it? Wow, And I said to her,

489
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: my biggest problem is recruiting because we needed to grow

490
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: and I didn't have a recruiting team. And you can

491
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: solve it. You're in marketing, you know, operations come and recruiting.

492
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 1: She jumped over. She ran recruiting. She's now been in

493
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: charge of all of our HR for a decade and

494
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: she's magnificent. Well, what you're telling people is so helpful

495
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 1: for them on any scale, because even if you're baking

496
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 1: cookies at home and have one employee, these things are

497
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 1: really important. The things that you're you can feel. It's

498
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: like in your body, if you feel a body pain

499
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:55,919
Speaker 1: or something, you gotta go look at that. If you're

500
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 1: feeling a struggle within your business, you have to look

501
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: at exactly where that's coming from. And do you feel

502
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: like you've been a corporate person though? I mean, I

503
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: know you work in text so it's way more free

504
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: and way more sweatshirty, But do you feel like you've

505
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: always wanted to have that structure, the safety of the group,

506
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: or the collaboration, the hierarchy. Do you like that? I mean,

507
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm a corporate person at all, but

508
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: I think I seem from the outside like very corporate.

509
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: I think I would see, I don't think you seem

510
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 1: like that, but I think it would have to be

511
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: to work within the parameters of a big come of

512
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 1: a public company like that running the world. I mean,

513
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: I just think you have to have some decorum. Well,

514
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 1: I mean, look, we have to have structure, we have

515
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: to have rules, we have to make sure there are

516
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: things we can't mess up. One of the things that

517
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: I think about as companies get bigger is you need

518
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 1: to separate out the places you can take risk from

519
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: the places you can't. I was I went to a

520
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: dinner once and I was seated on the boss going

521
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: to the dinner with the CEO of a major airline,

522
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: and I had just like been on like three flights

523
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 1: that were delayed for catering and luggage. And I said

524
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: to him, can I show a question running out the airline?

525
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: Seems like such a big deal. There's so much they

526
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: can get wrong. How come all the delays are catering

527
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: in luggage, you know, like it seems so small. And

528
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: he looked at me and he said, well, I have

529
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: a business, and in a huge part of my business,

530
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: there is no room for error, none, zero zip. Those

531
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: planes have to take off. Those planes Okay, we cannot

532
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: have a mechanical problem. We cannot have a maintenance problem.

533
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: No room for error. All of our errors are catering

534
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: in luggage. All of the delays should be catering in luggage.

535
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: And I was like, one, that's not so smart on

536
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 1: my part, and two, feel free mess up on the catering.

537
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: But I went back to Facebook and I said, Okay,

538
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: we gotta figure out what's plane maintenance and what's catering

539
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: in luggage. Plane maintenance is your privacy. Plane maintenance is

540
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: making sure when you post, if you post something just

541
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: to your your best friends, it doesn't get shared to

542
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: the world. It just gets posted to your best friends.

543
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 1: Making sure the services up. That's our maintenance. But when

544
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: we roll out a new product, we roll out a

545
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: new shopping product, it doesn't have all the features. We

546
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: can take risks there. We roll out reels and we

547
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: haven't built the filters in yet. You know where whatever

548
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: it is, those are the places the catering and luggage

549
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be perfect. We can put out products

550
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: and then iterate and learned. We don't have to build

551
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,479
Speaker 1: a seven forty seven. But there are areas of the business,

552
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: and every business has this, and so if I'm a

553
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 1: corporate I hope not to be a corporate person. I

554
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: don't feel like a corporate person. But yes, the law,

555
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: the rules, the regulations, people's privacy, the decisions we make

556
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 1: that are so important. That stuff is the maintenance. You're

557
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 1: going out and speaking to these leaders of industry and

558
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 1: totally different industries and bringing it back and compiling that

559
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: to run your business. It seems like that's been your model.

560
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: That would be and I'm not going to tell you

561
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: a books to write, but that would be a great

562
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 1: but the crystallization of what you've learned from all of

563
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: these other game changers, like you've described five of them already,

564
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: and we've been on for you know, twenty minutes. You

565
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: you've given me a toolbox from your toolbox. I mean

566
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: when I went to Facebook, I knew we I had

567
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: never done this before, and Mark had certainly never done

568
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: this before. Again twenty three years old, right. So we

569
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: went around, We visited different companies. We went to Marine

570
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: Basic Training at Quantico, We went to Procter and Gamble,

571
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: We went to Samsung, we went to Walmart. We visited

572
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: other companies to learn what we could learn from them. Well,

573
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: and it's interesting that they were all open to sharing,

574
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: because what you've described a couple of times here is

575
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: people being open to sharing. You talked about the Google

576
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: information is about sharing, and you're saying that all these

577
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: other big competitors and ways are sharing. Yeah, and I'd

578
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: like to think we'd pay that forward to nice. I'll

579
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: give you an example managing bias. Diversity is so important,

580
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: and bias against women, which I know we're going to

581
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: get into, is so important. But I looked at most

582
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: of the biased trainings out there, and all they said

583
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: is everyone has bias, but they were afraid to say

584
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: what the bias is because it's hard to say it

585
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: even in your training because when you say it, it

586
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: sounds like maybe you believe it, but of course you don't.

587
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: You're trying to point it out so people see it.

588
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: So here's the bias. People think men are smarter than women.

589
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 1: People think race. They judge performance differently based on race.

590
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 1: You put out the exact same resume with a black

591
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: name and a white name, exact same and that white

592
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: white name gets fifty more callbacks. That white name is

593
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: worth eight years of experience in the workplace. That's the bias.

594
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: So I actually worked with the same woman, Laurie and

595
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,479
Speaker 1: some other people, and I wrote the first version of

596
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: our Managing Bias training and it was for Facebook, and

597
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 1: then we put it out web because we realized small

598
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: companies aren't gonna be able to do this. And now

599
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: that training has gone through iteration after iteration after itteration.

600
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: I think those are some of the ways we try

601
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 1: to pay it forward to other companies as well. Well.

602
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: I could be mistaken, and I think it was warm

603
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 1: Buffett saying we're leaving half of the good players on

604
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: the bench as it pertains to women, which were you

605
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: know we were talking about. And and then if we

606
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 1: take it to race, you're leaving you know, your good

607
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: players on the bench, so you're not working with the

608
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: best potential. I mean, it's actually really, aside from being

609
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: you know, cruel, criminal and unjust, it's also just not

610
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: good smart business. You're leaving the best players on the

611
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: damn bench. So that's you know, it would be great

612
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: if everyone wanted to treat women, treat people of all backgrounds,

613
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: all race is equally, because it's the right thing to do.

614
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: That would be awesome and it is the right thing

615
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: to do but it's also as you're saying, it's the

616
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: smart thing to do. You know, you are the male CEO,

617
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: or you are the most junior level entry, you're fresh

618
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: fresh out of college, fresh out of school. You take

619
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: a job, and you can work better with as you're

620
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: pointing out, more than half the population, the women, people

621
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: of different backgrounds. You're going to outperform your peers and

622
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: your companies cannot perform. There's so much, so much research

623
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: that shows that teams and companies that are more diverse

624
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: to better. We use the diverse slate rule, so we

625
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: don't hire for jobs senior jobs, and we're senior jobs,

626
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: board jobs, but also increasingly throughout the whole country, we're

627
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,959
Speaker 1: working on scaling it without interviewing candidates who are diverse

628
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: for that job, and you have to find them exactly.

629
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: You have to sometimes take a pause, go out and

630
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: find them. My foundation, lean In, we did the diverse

631
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: late rule and guess what, we hired a man. Interesting

632
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: it's the lean In Foundation. Who do you think supplying women?

633
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 1: And we looked around a couple of years ago we're like,

634
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, we have no men. That's funny. And

635
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: by the if we're gonna get to equality. If you know,

636
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 1: Leanan's mission is get to equality. Having men along along

637
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: for the ride is going to be super important. We

638
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: still have a lot of men, but we have a few,

639
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: and I think those voices have been really important in

640
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: our work well for perspective appolutely yeah, And I also

641
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: read something that seems obvious, but I agree with it.

642
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: We get in the weeds with lawyers and business people

643
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: and when you've had a big problem negotiating something or

644
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: working through a problem that you're a big fan just

645
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: getting on the phone yourself. And this has been so

646
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: critical to me in business in ways where I'm talking

647
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: to you know, like having big girl conversations with people

648
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: running multibillion dollar conversations. And I can't believe are calling

649
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: me back. You know, I called called Jeffrey Katzenberg last

650
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: week about something and I just got on the phone

651
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: because I wanted to crystallize it. And I agree with you.

652
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: I've made deals go through by just getting on the phone,

653
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: breaking it down and coming to terms. So women underestimate themselves, Bethany,

654
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: if you were a man, you would not say, I

655
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: can't believe Jeffrey Patsonburg is calling me back your think

656
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: I have this. I promise, let's have the moment we

657
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: should have. First of all, I know Jeffrey and he's

658
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: lovely and he calls everyone back. But second of all,

659
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: of course he's calling you back, your major force in business.

660
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: But I can't believe Cheryl Samberg. I can't believe Cheryl

661
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: Sandberg is on my podcast. So I live in my

662
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: own little world. But but let's take a minute. You

663
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: said you can't believe these people are calling you about No. No.

664
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: This is such an interesting moment. I think because people

665
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: are listening to this podcast, not for the guests who

666
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: bring but for you. This is a moment for you

667
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: to say I think if it's okay. Of course, of

668
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: course they're calling you back. Of course I'm on your podcast.

669
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: Your voice is really important and your example is really important.

670
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: So to anyone listening whatever that thing is, you're like,

671
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: I can't believe they're doing it. Yeah they are, Yeah

672
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: they are, and they will and they should. That's very

673
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: thank you, that's very moving. Honestly, I'm like, I did

674
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: not think you'd be the one the CEO of Facebook

675
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: and be making me cry. Wow. Well, thank you. I

676
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: appreciate that. So you never think the emperor has no clue,

677
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 1: the empress has no clothes. Oh no, let's be clear.

678
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: I have that moment all the time. When do you

679
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: have that moment? Like about what you wake up? You're like,

680
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: did I do this? Is this really needs that? It?

681
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: Did you overshoot the mark? I mean, look, I remember

682
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: um a bunch of years ago at Facebook, there was

683
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: this really big project. This guy j Perry and I

684
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 1: both were arguing for for years, years and like no

685
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: one listened to us. And then two years later we

686
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: launched and everyone was like, this is really important. And

687
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: I looked at everyone tears in my eyes, like, thank

688
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: you so much for believing in me and trusting me

689
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: on this. And Jay looked up and said, we've been

690
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: telling you to do this for years. You guys are late.

691
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: I felt insecure for all those years, like I must

692
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: be wrong. I know I want to do this, I

693
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: know we should do this, but I must be wrong.

694
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: He didn't think that for a minute, and I was

695
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: already the CEO of Facebook. That moment where we don't

696
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: trust ourselves, where we feel bad, where we think about

697
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: something we could have done better, Like, let's be clear,

698
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: looking at every situation, for what you can do better

699
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: is important. It's been really important to me at Facebook.

700
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: We've been through a rough time and there are mistakes

701
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: we made and we need to earn those and I

702
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: need to look at those. That's really important. But as women,

703
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: you know, I've got four teenagers, four and an eight

704
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: year old, and when the teenagers roll their eyes at

705
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: me and my fiance, I sometimes walk into bedroom, closed

706
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: the door and cry and my fiance is, like, they're teenagers.

707
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: Doesn't hurt his feelings at all. Well, because you sometimes

708
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: swept the small stuff. I only swept the small stuff.

709
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: I almost set the small stuff. Okay, so you always

710
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: slept the small stuff. So when the ship hits the fan,

711
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: right whatever it is, it feels like it's an emergency.

712
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: It might be an emergency. It might be a five

713
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 1: alarm fire if you could slide by the next day.

714
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: So I use the noun of the metaphor like I

715
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: hold the wheel tight but like within control and decide

716
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: like the moves I'm going to make. But you kind

717
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: of like got to step back, take a breath, crowd

718
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: source information, and then then sort of sorted like you're

719
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: cleaning out of your garage. What do you do. You

720
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: have such high stakes. The world is watching because you've

721
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 1: been so successful, but because you're at such a high

722
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: level playing it's such a high you know, playing the

723
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 1: super Bowl all the time. What do you do when

724
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 1: the ship hits the fan? Like? What's your process? I mean,

725
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 1: my real answer? And I think you're someone I can

726
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: talk to about this because you've lived it too. It

727
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: really really changed when Dave died my answer of six

728
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: and a half years ago. If I, you know, if

729
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,479
Speaker 1: I were being totally frank, would it be? I put

730
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 1: my hands on the wheel and I clenched so tight

731
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: my fingers hurt, and I stress about it every second

732
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: till I figure out what to do, and then I,

733
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: you know, can't sleep till it's resolved, right, Like, that's

734
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,919
Speaker 1: my real that's that's the fact. That's just what I did.

735
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: And now I have more perspective because I've just been

736
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 1: through something so tragic and so awful that no matter

737
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,720
Speaker 1: how bad it gets, it doesn't come close to losing

738
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: Dave and losing Dave Sun and Lee. So now I

739
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: guess the wheel doesn't feel as tight, And it doesn't

740
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:57,959
Speaker 1: mean I don't stress, and it doesn't mean I don't

741
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 1: get tense, and it doesn't mean I don't you know,

742
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: get a group on the phone and make a list

743
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: of what to do, and then I'll say, you know,

744
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: you have a day. Everyone, let's get back together tomorrow morning.

745
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: But like I can't help myself. At four that afternoon,

746
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: I called three of them and I'm like, just checking in,

747
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 1: how's it going? And then we have until tomorrow morning.

748
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, just checking in anything I can

749
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: do to help, Like I will follow up too much,

750
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: for sure, but not the way I did. But that's

751
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,879
Speaker 1: the back of the house and the front of the house.

752
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 1: Your grace under pressure, that's what's going on the kitchen,

753
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: I hope. So I don't know. I was not grace

754
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 1: under pressure when Dave died. I was not you know

755
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: Cittain meetings at work and you know, burst into chears

756
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,879
Speaker 1: and have to leave the room. And now I mean,

757
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: I just I just have perspective. I've really had to

758
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: learn to judge myself. You know. I know that I

759
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 1: wake up every day again, I want to be clear.

760
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: I get things wrong and make mistakes. I miss stuff.

761
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 1: We missed stuff at Facebook. But I know I get

762
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,439
Speaker 1: up every single day and work as hard as I can,

763
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, to do the very best job I can.

764
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: You know, I know how my I care about the

765
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: people around me and about the service we provide, and

766
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: about the impact we have on the billions of people

767
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: who use it. And I wake up every day and

768
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: sometimes people see that and sometimes they don't. But I

769
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: have to judge my own actions, and when I get

770
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 1: things wrong, I have to admit it and acknowledge it

771
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: and do better. And I and I try to do that.

772
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: And then you just have to when the world is screaming,

773
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: you've got to find the way place to be your

774
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: own judge. You find that quiet, you know. And also

775
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: I've lived through the bus crashing. Dave's death was the

776
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 1: bus crashing. It crashed. It just you know, you know,

777
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: because you lived through the bus crashing, I didn't know.

778
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: My bus did not crash like your bus crashed. That

779
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: this isn't I mean, I don't want to go further

780
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: than you want to go. So I know that you

781
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,760
Speaker 1: experienced a tremendous loss with your husband. He was forty

782
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: seven at the time, and you have children, and I

783
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: can't even compare, but I know that it's absolutely it's

784
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: gutting and you're not thinking straight and you're waking up

785
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,439
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night saying is this true?

786
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: To this happened? It was? I mean the trauma that

787
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: you've experienced would be like, I mean, I can't imagine

788
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: the trauma you've experienced. I really really can't. So I

789
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: want to understand what meaning you've made of that. If

790
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: any have you said it's religion. It's brought me to this.

791
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: He was in pain in other ways, like what even

792
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: if it's not true, we you know what what you know?

793
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: What you're talking is called post traumatic growth. And if

794
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: you ask people whose turn of PTSD post traumatic stress story,

795
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 1: everyone's heard of it. But if you ask people who's

796
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: heard of post traumatic growth, no one's heard of it

797
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: unless they happen to have read my book. But more

798
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: people experience post traumatic growth. And on the other side,

799
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: on the other side of Dave's staff, my life is

800
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: better now. That does not mean I would choose it.

801
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: I'm fifty one. I would have turned fifty being one

802
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 1: of those women who was like, oh my god, I'm

803
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 1: greg I'm getting old, I have wrinkles. I I can't

804
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: believe I turned fifty. I am so lucky and so happy.

805
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 1: It turns out you either grow older or you don't.

806
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: That's it. There is no staying at sixteen option or

807
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 1: maybe not sixteen thirty six option. I am so grateful

808
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: my relation and ship with Tom my fiance. I just

809
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,800
Speaker 1: I love him so much and I have this sense

810
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: of gratitude and I Dave and I were very happily married,

811
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: but when he went to bed and he put his

812
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: arms around me, I didn't have a feeling of oh

813
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: my god, this could go away so now and Tom

814
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 1: and he does it every night, puts his arms around me.

815
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 1: We sleep like this every single night. In my head

816
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 1: and sometimes out loud, I say thank you because I

817
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: appreciate that thing in a way that I didn't know.

818
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: And honestly, I wish Bethany. I think I was a

819
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: good wife. Dave and I were really happy. But did

820
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: I thank him every day for being alive? No? I

821
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: didn't thank him every time he gave me a hug.

822
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 1: And I wish I could go back and do that.

823
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: I can't because he's gone, But I can do that

824
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: with Tom, and I can teach my kids that. And

825
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: out of the worst things in our lives, we get

826
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: better and we get stronger, and as women, we have

827
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: to face a lot of things men don't face, especially

828
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: if you run a business, if you have some success,

829
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:00,320
Speaker 1: like there are costs that men don't bear well. Just

830
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: sticking with us for a one minute. First of all,

831
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: how to separate it in for your fiance if it's

832
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,800
Speaker 1: difficult to sort of try to compare yourself, which I

833
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: know he probably doesn't, but you can't help. It's a

834
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: hard it's a hard act to follow a husband. And

835
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: you were happily married to who passed away. So I

836
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 1: asked that about your fiance, but I asked for you

837
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,800
Speaker 1: with respect to your late husband. Is this relationship giving

838
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: you things that your other relationship didn't like? Are you

839
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: having a totally different journey and realizing different things about

840
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: yourself through this relationship and sort of make it in

841
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: your mind meaningful. My friend Jeff Huber lost his wife

842
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: and he said, it's like going through a portal. You're

843
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 1: just different. I mean, my relationship with Tom is so

844
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: different because I'm different. But it is gratitude for the basics.

845
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: It is gratitude. Like every day Tom is there to

846
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: say good morning to me, I am like, oh my god,

847
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: I'm so lucky, and it's been a couple of years.

848
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: When I hang onto this for the rest of our lives,

849
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: I hope. So I look at Tom and fifty one, like,

850
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: maybe we've got forty years, maybe we've got fifty. If

851
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,919
Speaker 1: you've got five, I don't know. But I appreciate him

852
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: in a way. And I appreciate life every birthday my

853
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: kids have, even if they're iroly teenagers. You know, every

854
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 1: I just I have a deep sense of appreciation. So

855
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: it taught you appreciation and gratitude, which is so amazing.

856
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: That's the greatest gift that anyone could have. So now

857
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm finding the meaning of what happened to you. I understand,

858
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: I like, I emotionally understand it. So I talked to

859
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: a lot of people on here that are individually successful

860
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: in relationships with other successful people, and so I call

861
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: this sort of part successful relationships. So you know, and

862
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: I've heard they give each other along leash each day

863
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: at some point they check in with one another. Someone said,

864
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: I don't fix you, I fix me, and you don't

865
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 1: fix me, you fix you. So what have been the tenants,

866
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: just like in business that contribute to now to successful

867
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 1: relationships that you've been in while being this successful, while

868
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: having all these children and the weight of the world

869
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: on your shoulders. What is your recipe? It's so cliche

870
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: but really good to me. Vacation. Tom and I try

871
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: to take a long walk every week or very um

872
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 1: deliberate about it. I keep a list of things I

873
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 1: want to tell him through my day, little things, big things.

874
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: I will share the moment I can think of the

875
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: two moments in this in this podcast, I'm going to

876
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: make sure and you know he'll listen to it, but

877
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: I know you won't put the whole thing up, so

878
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: I will. I wrote down like the two things I

879
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: want to share, and and just really holding up a mirror.

880
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: I mean, one of the amazing things about Tom is

881
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: he really does make me better. He really does. You know.

882
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: I take things super seriously. I want super strict rules.

883
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 1: He's like our kid's rooms were messy. It's okay, it's

884
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: not that serious. Let's make a joke. You know, he's

885
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: not sweating the small stuff. He's never sweating the small stuff.

886
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: And and to be fair, I do it a lot

887
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: less than Dave's life, but I still do well. So

888
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: we wanted to talk about the woman thing. I think

889
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: it's not just important, but it's something I'm so curious about.

890
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: So I entered up an industy street, which was cocktails,

891
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what I didn't know. So I

892
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: didn't know that cocktails had always been marketed to men

893
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: and owned and marketed by men, and I just didn't

894
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: know that the world was peddling liquor and no one

895
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: was thinking about women wanted. So I just wanted to

896
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 1: make this product, but I didn't think about all the

897
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: meaning that it had, and that it was the first

898
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: product intentionally marketed to women. So I never thought about that.

899
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: I never thought about what women get or aren't getting,

900
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: what I'm getting, what I'm not getting. So some of

901
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: the things you've talked about in corporate America, I have

902
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: an experience and I didn't understand. But I also was

903
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: always sort of by myself in business, right, so I

904
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: wasn't within that framework. So it's just something that's never

905
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: I've never experienced. But what I do really relate to

906
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: and want to talk about is being quote unquote tough

907
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: or a bit because I really I'm tough. I am

908
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: absolutely tough. There is no you know, I'm not abusive

909
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: and I'm not, you know, unfair, and I'm generous, but

910
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 1: I'm tough admittedly, and it's been documented on television. I

911
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 1: wonder if a man being exactly like I am as

912
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 1: a man, and if it really if the lens really

913
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 1: is different. And you've spent a lot of time researching

914
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: this and experiencing so I want to hear what you

915
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: think about this full stop. The lens is different. It

916
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: just is. This is so important. This was my big

917
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: aha that led me to give my ted talk to

918
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: write my book. As a man gets more successful, he

919
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 1: is better liked, and as a woman gets more successful,

920
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 1: she is less liked. What I feel that? Wow. When

921
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: I was in business school, in between the summer first

922
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: and second year, I got a letter. I find it

923
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 1: in modest to tell this story, but I'm gonna tell

924
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 1: this story because it's so important. And I put this

925
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: in my book. And it was hard for me to

926
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: put this in my book, but I put it in

927
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 1: my book and I'm gonna tell the story. I got

928
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: a letter saying, congratulations, your first in your class, and

929
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: I gotta check and it was for like, you know,

930
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: five and six cents or something that was obviously a

931
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: split prize. So I was like, huh, there are a

932
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: couple of people who are first in the class, and

933
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: there was a prize and we split it because no

934
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: one puts a prize out with twenty cents. So I

935
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: got back to school. And the way grades work at

936
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 1: business school, where I in fifty percentage class participation, and

937
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: the way it works is, you know, if you say

938
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 1: something and then someone else says, oh, as Bethany said,

939
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: so if people think you're smart, you do better, so

940
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 1: there is a reason for people to think you're doing well.

941
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 1: So I got back to school and there were I

942
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: think it was four forgetting out. There were four men

943
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: who told everyone they were first in the class. There

944
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: was a prize with the name and I multiplied my

945
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 1: check times five and it was a nice round number.

946
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: And I never told anyone, and those four men did,

947
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: and it worked for them because all of the second

948
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 1: year they could basically not do that much work, and

949
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: they would say something and everyone's like, as Mark said,

950
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 1: because everyone thought they were the smartest. And I thought

951
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: that I was modest, like I didn't want to brag.

952
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: But what I learned later is I hope I was

953
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: still modest, but I was smart because it wasn't againna

954
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: work for me. By telling everyone, they were first in

955
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: the class, they were respected, better liked if I had

956
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: told everyone, or told you don't have to tell everyone.

957
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: You tell three people and they tell everyone. I was

958
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,319
Speaker 1: gonna be aggressive, assertive, A shark they used to call it,

959
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: and I was called that. They used to call it

960
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: a shark at business school. If you were super aggressive

961
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: in your thing, I was called that. And I'm like

962
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 1: watching these men, I'm like, tape me, tape him. He's

963
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: much more assertive. Go to a playground, anyone listening, go

964
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 1: to a playground this weekend. There will be a little girl.

965
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: She will be called bossy by her parents. You walk

966
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 1: up to that family, you say, that little girl's not bossy,

967
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: That little girl has executive leadership skills. Wait, and that's funny.

968
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 1: You just laughed. I just laughed. Ready, let's try it

969
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,720
Speaker 1: the other way. That little boy has executive leadership skills.

970
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 1: It's not funny. Why because humor goes against expectation. So

971
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: to this day, You've got you, You've got me. We're

972
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: on a podcast which is about success for women. It

973
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 1: is funny to say a little girl has executive leadership

974
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: skills and not funny at all for a boy. So

975
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: this is deep and women are judged in a way

976
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: men do not. If a woman is asked to do

977
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: a favorite at work and she doesn't do it, it

978
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 1: hurts her in terms of performance and rating. If a

979
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: man is asked to do a favorite at work and

980
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: he doesn't do it no cost, he's busy, But if

981
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 1: he does it, he is the greatest guy ever. Interesting

982
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 1: back and this is such an over and over and over.

983
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: So I haven't watched your whole show and I haven't

984
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 1: seen ever seen. But if you're asking, are you being

985
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: judged as tougher than a man saying the exact same thing,

986
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: the answers yes. That's why The Devil Wears Product is

987
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: an iconic movie and Wall Street is too, but not

988
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: for the same reasons. He's he's celebrated Gordon Get Go

989
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: and he was a criminal and Devil Wears Product. You know,

990
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 1: it's an a win tour running an empire. I just

991
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: want to say that last thing I want to say

992
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: to you is you're an incredible writer, and I love

993
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 1: that Facebook allows you to have that experience for yourself

994
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 1: and expressing yourself and writing these amazing books with such

995
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,839
Speaker 1: an important conversation. But you're very passionate about writing, and

996
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: I am too, so I I see that in you

997
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: just so you love it and I'm just so happy

998
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: that you get that outlet to really express yourself. And

999
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 1: I'm so so grateful you took the time. I literally

1000
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: could have talked to you for two hours, and you're

1001
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 1: one of the busiest women I've ever met. I'm so

1002
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: grateful for what you're doing, um for the people that

1003
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: are listening. I've been saying for a long time men

1004
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: run the world and it's not going that well. But

1005
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: if you ever needed a proofpoint, the world just handed

1006
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: us COVID, where countries run by women did have lower

1007
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: death rates. But the thing is, it's gonna be every

1008
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 1: little girl who thinks she can do math and science.

1009
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: It's gonna be every woman who listens to your podcast

1010
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,439
Speaker 1: and realizes that, oh my god, Bethanie doesn't think people

1011
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 1: should call her back. I feel that way too. Of

1012
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: course they should call her back. That means they should

1013
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 1: call me back. It's about looking at someone in the

1014
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: face when they say you're aggressive, you're assertive, you're the

1015
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: B word, bossy, or the other B word which men

1016
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 1: don't get called and saying I'm powering through. And then

1017
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: if we could get more women into leadership, you wouldn't

1018
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: be called that anymore because it would be normal. It's

1019
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: still just so exceptional that people still have a hard

1020
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,839
Speaker 1: time dealing with that. And when we're doing this, we

1021
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: have to also get more women of color because all

1022
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: the challenges that white women face, women of color have

1023
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: all that gender bias and then all that race bias,

1024
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: and we need we need that to change. Thank you

1025
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: for having me. Thank you have a wonderful day and

1026
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: loved your family, but thank you, well, that was exceptional, extraordinary,

1027
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 1: just really amazing. That was cherylte Samberg. I mean she

1028
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: is running arguably the most powerful, important, influential company in

1029
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: the world in history. I mean that is moving just

1030
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: in and of itself. And she's so passionate and cause

1031
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: driven in an authentic, communicative way. Because some people come

1032
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 1: on and you know, wax poetic and get up on

1033
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: the soapbox. But she's sort of explaining things in a

1034
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: different way that we know that we just talked about.

1035
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 1: It's it's just in passing and you see it on

1036
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,399
Speaker 1: an Instagram post. But she's really getting granular about how

1037
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: things are and how things feel and how things work,

1038
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: and women are really important to her. Uh. It's inspiring.

1039
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: And she's been through an ordeal, but her husband at

1040
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: forty seven, they were on vacasion in Mexico. He died

1041
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:09,240
Speaker 1: instantly from a head injury from a treadmill. Like with children,

1042
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 1: she was in love, she was happy. I mean, that's

1043
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 1: a blow that is unbelievable and unimaginable. And I woke

1044
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: up one Friday morning and um, someone who was in

1045
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: my life for over thirty years, who I was engaged to, died.

1046
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 1: I was found dead in his apartment. So I experienced horrible,

1047
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: traumatic and tragic loss, but it cannot be compared to

1048
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: what I believe that she endured and then going back

1049
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: and running this major powerful force and learning from it

1050
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 1: and meeting someone else like I did. And you know,

1051
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: Paul saved me from Dennis. But I think what she

1052
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 1: said about compassion and being grateful and appreciation, we know it,

1053
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 1: we say it, but we don't really think it. And

1054
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,240
Speaker 1: I think that's what I took away the most from today,

1055
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 1: just to really like, really, Paul's here and I'm going

1056
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: to go on the other room and just freak him

1057
00:49:58,239 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: out by telling him how much I love him and

1058
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,479
Speaker 1: how you should who I am, and how happy iam

1059
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: he's on this earth, so he's gonna be a shock. Um.

1060
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:10,439
Speaker 1: So thank you, Cheryl Sandberg. That was exceptional, extraordinary, and

1061
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: I hope all of you take from that, just you know,

1062
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: take the wisdom, the learning tools molded into what you

1063
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: need to do what you need to do, and remember

1064
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: to rate, review and subscribe. I appreciate listening, Thank you,

1065
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: and have a great day. Just Be is hosted and

1066
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: executive produced by me, Bethany Frankel. Just Be as a

1067
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 1: production of be Real Productions and I Heart Radio. Our

1068
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,720
Speaker 1: Managing Producer is Fiona Smith, and our producer is Stephanie Sender.

1069
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: Our EP is Morgan Levoy. To catch more moments from

1070
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: the show, follow us on Instagram at just Be with

1071
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: Bethany