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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should

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Speaker 1: say decision Decisions.

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Speaker 2: It sounded like you was talking to Kirsten.

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Speaker 3: You definitely say welcome, Welcome to the new podcast. You

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Speaker 3: want to say together, Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 2: Welcome everybody to this is the on. It is your girl.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know it is you. It

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Speaker 2: is your girl. It's your girl, baby b A k

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Speaker 2: A that beach. I'm yours Marie.

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Speaker 3: Hello, everybody, Thank you so m weezy pedrol that hold

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Speaker 3: on pedal, Joe tango on toura bo bitch.

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Speaker 1: Donelan Maybe all right, y'all, y'all welcome to another episode

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Speaker 1: of Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 4: We are really really glad to introduce our guests for

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Speaker 4: this episode. Now y'all be acting like y'all don't like Guess,

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Speaker 4: but y'all about to like her and y'all about to

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Speaker 4: be fans because I have been standing her a long

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Speaker 4: time and I'm really glad that we finally got the

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Speaker 4: chance to bring her on the pod.

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Speaker 2: Y'all, we have Sheila Marie.

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Speaker 4: Who is an actress, author of Unruly, founder of the

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Speaker 4: Kirby Curly Conscious movement, and hosts of the Unruly podcast.

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Speaker 1: With she.

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Speaker 3: That's okay, it's spelled Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, Oh Shela, the

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Speaker 3: money comes okay.

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Speaker 4: Now YouTube may now demonetize us because we sounded too

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Speaker 4: good there.

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Speaker 2: Oh damn, I mean so welcome girl. My name is Gila,

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Speaker 2: my name and so my whole life.

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Speaker 3: I've been saying that that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Can I get mad when men don't?

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Speaker 4: Well, there's a there's a song about Mandy too, and

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Speaker 4: I Mandy Candy or something.

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Speaker 2: Can you do that?

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Speaker 4: There's an actual song about Mandy you. I mean, I

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Speaker 4: think it's white people, but you know.

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Speaker 2: A Mandy song. Damn, there's a whole Mandy song that

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Speaker 2: only white owner.

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Speaker 5: Man.

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Speaker 2: We're not gonna do that, y'all. And we do not

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Speaker 2: have ed in here with us.

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Speaker 4: But we have a king as our as our penis

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Speaker 4: for the conversation, not.

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Speaker 2: A fucking talking dicks ahead like like South Park.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love that they put eyes on

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Speaker 4: Trump's dick on a little dick, bro.

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Speaker 2: It is great. Do you know?

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Speaker 1: Hold on?

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Speaker 2: Do you know?

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Speaker 4: If ever we need to put anything on TV, you

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Speaker 4: gotta show or a cartoon or a post allegedly the

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Speaker 4: way around showing a dick on TV.

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Speaker 2: You have to make it a character.

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Speaker 4: So what South Park did was put eyeballs on the

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Speaker 4: dick and made it talk. So now you could have

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Speaker 4: the dick on TV because now it's technically a character.

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Speaker 2: It's not a dick.

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Speaker 1: I know, it was small, bro, it's so small.

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Speaker 2: They had the dick like this. It's like three cinemeters.

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Speaker 4: And that's the whole premise, that he got a little

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Speaker 4: dick and he'd be sleeping with Satan.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy. They turned Trump into Saddam Hussein. Isn't he already.

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Speaker 4: Saying no, no, no, he's right, no shit, no, the

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Speaker 4: Cheeto is dating Satan, and they'd have made his little

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Speaker 4: peewee into a character.

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Speaker 2: I don't think said anyways, welcome to the park. We

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Speaker 2: gotta get into a little bit.

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Speaker 4: You are also an author, so we'll start off by

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Speaker 4: letting people know a little bit about you before you

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Speaker 4: attempt to read me for philp because she requested a

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Speaker 4: certain read to me out the gate.

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Speaker 2: But go ahead, and let's be nice, very you know,

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Speaker 2: let's be nice.

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Speaker 4: So talk to us about your book and what the

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Speaker 4: Kirby Curly conscious movement is.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so it's just very simple. We live in a

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Speaker 1: world that is constantly trying to tell women what and

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Speaker 1: who to be, and I'm just saying, the best thing

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Speaker 1: you can do is be you be more of who

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Speaker 1: you are. And the words of one of my favorite thinkers,

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Speaker 1: Evnie Jennie's shout out to my dog, she told me

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Speaker 1: the other day, like Sheila, your only job is to

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Speaker 1: be more of who you are. And it sounds simple

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Speaker 1: and it sounds cliche, but it's actually very difficult when

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Speaker 1: you constantly get messages that are telling you to be

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Speaker 1: other than who you are. So that's another reason why

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Speaker 1: I love y'all, because I feel like you invite women

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Speaker 1: to be more of who they are by exploring the fringes,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, I do want to tell y'all too.

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Speaker 4: Were sitting across this the conversation this pod. You know,

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Speaker 4: Weezie and I live differently currently as a partner that

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Speaker 4: I'm partnered with a lot of niggas. But you are married,

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Speaker 4: you're monogamous, you are mothers. So we're gonna get the

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Speaker 4: perspective from somebody with a different lived experience.

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Speaker 2: So I'm really excited about that.

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Speaker 4: And I guess out the gate, I'm here for the

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Speaker 4: conversation of you to read me or attempt to because

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Speaker 4: I have. I did not say I know y'all. First off,

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Speaker 4: she was because I asked her. I said, Girt, you

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Speaker 4: finally coming on. Is there anything that you're talking about

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Speaker 4: right now that you would like to talk about sex?

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Speaker 2: Dating relationships?

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Speaker 4: And she was like, no, cool with like, you know,

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Speaker 4: going with the flow, And she said, actually, there's one

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Speaker 4: thing that you said and I didn't like it, and

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Speaker 4: so I'd like to talk about it on the mind you.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what her take is, but I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: say the clip because many of you had thoughts and

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Speaker 4: opinions about it. It was about our visit to the

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Speaker 4: breakfast club during the week of our book release, where

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Speaker 4: I went into saying that as people, whoever you are,

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Speaker 4: you are in the relationship that you deserve.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to play the clip.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to play the clip for reference and so

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Speaker 4: that you guys know what she ain't like, because I

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Speaker 4: do think like, and this is gonna sound bad, I

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Speaker 4: do think everyone is with who they deserve.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean if you're with someone.

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Speaker 4: Who isn't that great to you, it's because you don't

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Speaker 4: believe you deserve better and so, and I've been talking

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Speaker 4: to this a lot with SO.

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Speaker 2: I had this recent conversation.

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Speaker 4: I went to Malta and I'm sitting around a group

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Speaker 4: of women and we're talking about the Diddy trial. And

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Speaker 4: what happens is these women start sharing all of these

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Speaker 4: abusive relationships that they were in, and they talk about

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Speaker 4: how they didn't feel safe even to share with the

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Speaker 4: men in their lives because the men in their lives

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Speaker 4: were like, well, if he touched you, if he do this,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to jail because I'm gonna come. And So

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Speaker 4: I shared this story online and it was so sad

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Speaker 4: how many men were like yeah, but then we step

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Speaker 4: in and they stay. So then what And I'm just

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Speaker 4: like whoa basically even saying like, how do you know

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Speaker 4: you stay too long? Everyone in certain relationships, I feel

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Speaker 4: like they deserve it, because it's like, if you don't

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Speaker 4: want better for yourself, no one can lead you out

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Speaker 4: of it.

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Speaker 2: You could take a you could take a horse to water,

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Speaker 2: but you can't make them drink it.

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Speaker 4: And I do think that what if you're in a

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Speaker 4: bad relationship or not, you don't feel like you deserve more,

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Speaker 4: You're in a relationship you deserve, and so like, literally

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Speaker 4: in the book, I talk about being like.

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Speaker 2: Oh girl, you ain't have no self worth for yourself.

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Speaker 2: Oh you was?

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Speaker 4: You was desperate, Oh you were you were insecure, And

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Speaker 4: I think it takes a lot of time for women

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Speaker 4: to say those words about themselves, and so until you're

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Speaker 4: able to do that, the person you're with is probably

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Speaker 4: more of a reflection of who you are. I would

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Speaker 4: love to know your response to that clip first, yes,

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Speaker 4: and then I'll deeper explain my sentiments because I stand

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Speaker 4: on this tick okay.

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Speaker 1: Period, So I'm gonna tell you how it happened. First

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Speaker 1: of all, I'm just a fan. I love bold women,

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Speaker 1: so like I be, I'm also airy, so I'm just

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Speaker 1: like impulsively like y'all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, period, they exist.

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Speaker 1: So I liked I was listening to the video and

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Speaker 1: I was distracted, so I was doing two things at once.

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Speaker 1: So I just heard you say, Oh, everybody's in a

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Speaker 1: relationship that you deserve. If you're with the partner, you

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Speaker 1: know whatever, you're getting the treatment that you deserve, And

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Speaker 1: I like, I commented before the video was done, so

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Speaker 1: what you know, you comment for the shit? So I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, my god, yes, period, like and I

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Speaker 1: tagged you or whatever something like that, and you responded.

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Speaker 1: I was like, period, I went on about my day,

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Speaker 1: my phone. My deal's going up. I said, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: I look, They're like, she was this way you support.

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Speaker 1: They're like, I'm disappointing. I said, oh my god, hold on,

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Speaker 1: what happened? What happened y'all. I went back and I

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Speaker 1: listened to the rest of the video, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh lord, let me take my life that hold.

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Speaker 3: On, you know, And you're like, oh, move too quick,

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Speaker 3: which I'd be liking a photo, and then when you

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Speaker 3: swipe the photo or something else, oh, never mind.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So when you continued listening, because I am, I

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Speaker 4: want to make sure.

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Speaker 1: Now this is where I agree. Yes, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: what I agree with, what I don't agree with you.

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Speaker 1: I do agree to a degree that you get the

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Speaker 1: partner you deserve. I like, I'm in the wellness space,

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Speaker 1: so energetic spiritual principles. Absolutely, we do match. We get

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Speaker 1: our energetic match in our reality and with the people

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Speaker 1: that we interact with. However, I think you got to

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Speaker 1: take that with a grain of salt, because if you

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Speaker 1: take it full stop it can turn into victim blaming.

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Speaker 1: And I work with exclusively women. I myself have been

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Speaker 1: in abusive relationships. I work with women abusive relationships have

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Speaker 1: ruined their life, and like what we know about abusive

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Speaker 1: I think that abuse is just not understood. And being like, well,

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Speaker 1: if she don't want to leave, is she don't want

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Speaker 1: better for herself? Why do I care? Is to me

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Speaker 1: a very dangerous tape, because women in abusive situations, it's

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Speaker 1: first of all, financially, does she have the finances to leave?

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Speaker 1: Is she being abused? Financially? Does that person have control

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Speaker 1: over her credit or her accounts? Like you know, does

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Speaker 1: she even have money for herself? All these things? Is

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Speaker 1: she safe? Is she actually worried about the safety of

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Speaker 1: the people around her or herself? The un I think,

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Speaker 1: just released a study that the most dangerous place for

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Speaker 1: a woman globally is in her home. So the danger

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Speaker 1: could be very real. So there's a reason why it

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Speaker 1: takes seven times on average before a woman can really

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Speaker 1: leave an abusive situation. And then to me, the most

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Speaker 1: damning part is like the psychological aspect, Like to me,

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Speaker 1: so I've been very open about this, Like I come

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Speaker 1: from a history of having very low self esteem, and

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Speaker 1: so abusers don't typically go after people who have a

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Speaker 1: lot of confidence, who have a lot of self esteem,

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Speaker 1: they know who to go after. They go with people

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Speaker 1: who already have these holes. They already have these like

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Speaker 1: you know, these little holes that they can latch onto

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Speaker 1: and then break you down even further. And so I

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Speaker 1: remember when I was in an abusive relationship, I lost

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Speaker 1: all trusted myself, Like I didn't know if I thought,

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Speaker 1: like is that light really white? Well, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know anyway, do I want to go left?

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Speaker 1: Or I don't know anyway. I'm stupid. I'm stupid, Like

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Speaker 1: you internalize all of this to the point where you

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Speaker 1: distrust all of your intuition, all of your impulses, which

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Speaker 1: makes leaving so difficult. You also don't even know because

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Speaker 1: this person might have been told you, like I have

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Speaker 1: been told in the past, you and never be nothing

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Speaker 1: without me, right like you need me, you need me?

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Speaker 1: Since he starts to believe that, So I was just

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Speaker 1: like I just got addressed with my dog because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you have a lot of women that listen

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Speaker 1: to you have a huge platform, and in that platform

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Speaker 1: or so and This was right around the time the

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Speaker 1: Cassie thing was in the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that that's why we were talking

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 1: And that's exactly right. And so it's just like you

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Speaker 1: probably have a lot of survivors of abuse listening to you.

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Speaker 2: Did you mean it?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 4: No, I think that that's where the conversation led because

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Speaker 4: he was he was in court.

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Speaker 2: He was in court right there.

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Speaker 4: I don't think it was Cassie, or maybe I could

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Speaker 4: have been talking about Cassie. I guess, and I do

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Speaker 4: because I at first I was like, damn, that was

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Speaker 4: the wrong word. But I did look up the definition

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Speaker 4: of deserve and it's to do something, or have or

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Speaker 4: show qualities worthy of either reward or punishment. And so

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Speaker 4: for me having even this book and talking about how

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Speaker 4: I was insecure and what I allowed to happen because

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Speaker 4: of my insecurity to be in a place of lacking

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Speaker 4: self worth, to me, we are I do find us

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Speaker 4: to be accountable and responsible for how we live the

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Speaker 4: one life that we have, and I talk about it

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Speaker 4: all the time. We could believe that we've been here

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Speaker 4: before and that we're going to be here in afterlife,

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Speaker 4: but we don't know those versions of ourselves right, and

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Speaker 4: so for me, in what we believe everyone deserves. We

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Speaker 4: think we believe that everyone deserves a living wage.

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Speaker 2: Right, Do they have a job that pays that to them?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 2: And that's not necessarily their fault.

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Speaker 4: In essence, however, it could be did you go and

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Speaker 4: get an education, did you go and get anything that

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Speaker 4: could lead you to a better job? And yes, we

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Speaker 4: can talk about how these states still just don't pay

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Speaker 4: us a living wage. Of all, rents go up, groceries

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Speaker 4: go up. I understand what I was saying is until

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Speaker 4: you reach the relationship with yourself, which is maybe why

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Speaker 4: I was able to say that I've reached the point

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Speaker 4: in my life to where as soon as a man

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Speaker 4: isn't giving me what I want, because I now know

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Speaker 4: I deserve it, I now know I'm worthy of it,

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Speaker 4: I'm in the control to do that. And so as

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Speaker 4: a person who is being manipulated, possibly in a psychosis

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Speaker 4: with this person, a lot of those stem from insecurities,

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Speaker 4: stems from lack of worth, stems from generational trauma or

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Speaker 4: things that they haven't gotten through with therapy. I've been

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Speaker 4: in therapy for four years. I don't even like to

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Speaker 4: be that therapy, bitch, because I'm not the mental health

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Speaker 4: ass whole, because I still got things that I'm working

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Speaker 4: on too. But when I say that, it's not to

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Speaker 4: victim blame. It's to literally be like, as a person,

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Speaker 4: wherever you're at in the space of how you value yourself,

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Speaker 4: your one life, you as a human being, you take

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Speaker 4: an accountability for what you allow to your ecosystem, your world,

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Speaker 4: the person around you. To me, you deserve what you're

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Speaker 4: getting because if you haven't done the work, if you

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Speaker 4: don't care about yourself, if you're continuing to live with

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Speaker 4: your insecurities, you're constantly going to get exactly that.

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Speaker 3: I actually agreed with you before this take, like I

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Speaker 3: thought before you made more sense. Now I disagree, okay,

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Speaker 3: because the thing is therapy and healing is a privilege.

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Speaker 3: Like no one knows that in a bad situation until

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Speaker 3: they're gone. So you can't just say, pick yourself up

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Speaker 3: and go to therapy, pick yourself up and fix it.

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Speaker 2: Oh I didn't say that, but you are though. No,

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Speaker 2: I'm saying work with you. I did the work.

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Speaker 3: We all have real Like, Okay, maybe you don't have money,

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Speaker 3: but find the resources Like nah, I mean we.

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Speaker 4: Can't get on the internet all day long, every day

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Speaker 4: and talk about as women what we deserve, how we

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Speaker 4: should be treated as women, how were these mothers, how

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Speaker 4: we're nurturing. We can't express as women all the ways

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Speaker 4: in which we know to be powerful and monumental and

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Speaker 4: and these beings while letting a nigga slap us, while

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Speaker 4: letting like, there's things and this is not victim blaming.

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Speaker 4: One moment, let me finish, because there's a right and wrong.

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Speaker 4: As people, we know what's right and wrong. We know

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Speaker 4: what's healthy and unhealthy, and it could be subjective. However,

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Speaker 4: we know in terms of women, we don't want to fight.

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Speaker 4: We know as women we we would like a bigger home.

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Speaker 4: Like even in terms of I don't even want to keep.

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Speaker 3: This, relationships aren't getting aren't with these wealthy men systemically,

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Speaker 3: Like we can't say want of bigger homer one.

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Speaker 4: Things, no, no, no, no, this was I was just trying

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Speaker 4: to remove it from abuse because I don't want to

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Speaker 4: seem like I'm victim blaming. I've been in a relationship

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Speaker 4: where I went back thirteen times and had PTSD afterwards.

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Speaker 2: I understand it.

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Speaker 4: But what I also realize is at the time, I

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Speaker 4: didn't feel worthy of anyone else. I did think that

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Speaker 4: he was the best thing I could have until I

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Speaker 4: until I formed a relationship with myself where I had

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Speaker 4: a voice to want more, to speak up, to actually

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Speaker 4: be like, this is not the treatment you deserve. You

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Speaker 4: deserve better, and until you get it, you you would

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Speaker 4: rather be with nobody. And which is I sat here

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Speaker 4: for a year.

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Speaker 1: Was like I don't need a man, I don't want him,

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Speaker 1: and though yes, and because the whole, the whole rhetoric

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Speaker 1: of being like I got what I deserved, because I

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Speaker 1: don't think I deserve more. Really, it just lets abusers

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Speaker 1: off the hook. That that type of rhetoric just supports

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Speaker 1: more abuse. It lets abusers off the hook, and then.

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Speaker 2: It makes you go to jail.

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Speaker 1: They feel worse. I feel like, well, damn, I'm choosing this.

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Speaker 1: I'm like it just it just to me.

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Speaker 4: By the way, I believe in the death penalty. I

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Speaker 4: believe certain niggas don't need to be out of jail,

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Speaker 4: Like it's a yes, and you just said a yes.

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Speaker 4: And I believe in niggas going to jail. I don't

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Speaker 4: believe that if a man molested you or rape you

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Speaker 4: and I don't.

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Speaker 2: Know how far we are under YouTube, so you might

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Speaker 2: have to bleep those things.

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Speaker 4: I think that there's no money that should even supice

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Speaker 4: for that. I believe in men doing the time being

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Speaker 4: there's consequences for your behavior. If you lay your hands

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Speaker 4: on a bitch, if you sexually assault a woman, I

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Speaker 4: believe in there being hardcore punishment for those behaviors as well. Right,

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Speaker 4: But like it's a yes and yes and but I

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Speaker 4: don't want to more so letting them go.

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Speaker 3: The larger issue though, is placing too much accountability on

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Speaker 3: the woman for picking it up. Agree, because in the

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Speaker 3: previous clip, you didn't really say that. I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, okay, Like I actually agree, But this part

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Speaker 3: of taking healing and taking power back, people aren't even

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Speaker 3: close to there. So, like, I've been an emotional abuse

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Speaker 3: relationship like you, but also a physical one. And the

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Speaker 3: physical one is super different because it's a different type

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Speaker 3: of fear. The emotional one is a self esteem thing.

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Speaker 3: The physical one and I don't know if you can relate,

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Speaker 3: but it's a fear of like speaking, doing something wrong,

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Speaker 3: whereas emotional is like I don't want to get left

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Speaker 3: or I don't want to like have them talk shit

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Speaker 3: to me.

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Speaker 2: The physical one is a little bit deeper.

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Speaker 3: And I think once your brain is there and I

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Speaker 3: was only nineteen, do I think it could happen to

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Speaker 3: me today? No, because I know I don't deserve those things.

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Speaker 3: But then I didn't deserve it either, Like there was

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Speaker 3: my brain wasn't even fully developed. I was like literally

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Speaker 3: in the workings of becoming a woman, get it, going

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Speaker 3: through the weeds, and.

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Speaker 2: This band was molding me.

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Speaker 4: No, no one deserves and as I think the alternal thing,

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Speaker 4: I don't think anyone deserves that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's be very okay.

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Speaker 4: No one deserves to get their ass bet. No one

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Speaker 4: deserves to be sexually assaulted. No one deserves the hard no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: no one deserves that. From an outer lens. However, I

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Speaker 4: and maybe I do place too much accountability on people period.

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Speaker 4: Meant a women to just be better, to learn themselves,

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Speaker 4: to get the help. Like we can't have a book

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Speaker 4: talking about how we regained our powers without talking about

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Speaker 4: how we got to regaining our power.

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Speaker 1: Feel you, I feel you, but absolutely I know you

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Speaker 1: didn't want to put abuse in there, but it's in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: really nice, it's really not the same.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's which is what I said. I my mind

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Speaker 2: sometimes I guess that's what it is.

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Speaker 5: A king.

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Speaker 2: I know I talked about it. Uh.

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Speaker 4: In my mind works faster than my mouth, and so

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Speaker 4: sometimes there's a lot of thoughts going on in my mind,

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Speaker 4: and when I'm talking, it just all comes out, even

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Speaker 4: though one thought doesn't relate to the next.

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Speaker 2: And then I'm saying it and now.

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Speaker 4: I got a double back and come, so that's what

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Speaker 4: That's what that was. I did not mean to tie

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Speaker 4: that story into what I was saying, but I did.

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Speaker 1: Okay, great that that was my only thing.

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Speaker 4: But it was no, no, no, no, no, no no, this was

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Speaker 4: this was great dialogue.

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Speaker 2: This was great dialogue.

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Speaker 4: I do want to be very clear, not victim blaming again,

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Speaker 4: no holds barred, unruly to me, if you read books,

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Speaker 4: there's there's a thing that no one shared about really

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Speaker 4: getting into your thirties, right and where you talk about

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Speaker 4: how you showed up in a relationship at nineteen, how

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Speaker 4: I show up in the book in my twenties with men.

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Speaker 4: It's embarrassing, and so having gone through those things when

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Speaker 4: you're in your thirties, which mostly is when I start

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Speaker 4: calling bitches out on their behavior, like, girl, don't you

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Speaker 4: know better by now? So being being thirty five now

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Speaker 4: is just like okay, at some point, when do you

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Speaker 4: put you first? When do you stop chasing them in?

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Speaker 4: When do you want to live the life that you

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Speaker 4: should live? When do you find your power?

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Speaker 2: You know what?

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Speaker 1: This actually makes me think. It's something that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: originally thinking to say, but it ties into I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I'm maybe you have to cusins. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I'm allowed to Am I allow to bring

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Speaker 1: up another Chrysale? Am I allowed to bring up another podcast?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So Crystal christ ain't Chrysale. That's crazy shit.

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Speaker 1: It's sorry, no disrespects.

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Speaker 2: We just talked.

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Speaker 1: Because I was just oh my god, all the all

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Speaker 1: the talking about the CARDIV take and everything, and my

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Speaker 1: main takeaway was like, damn, I hate that black women

433
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Speaker 1: feel like in order for us to get honest advice,

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Speaker 1: it has to come off so harsh. That's my only thing.

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Speaker 2: Like delivery the.

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Speaker 1: Lady on TikTok with the fitness she'd be on Live like, well,

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Speaker 1: you need to you need to eat sleep, that's what

438
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,880
Speaker 1: you need to. You know you're eating too much? Go

439
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 1: to sleep like.

440
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 3: You know Raven, which I would love to talk about.

441
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 1: That only you can get into that too.

442
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 2: The she was just too harsh.

443
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 3: Raven pilates by Raven dumb ass, and you got your

444
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 3: black woman ass up there and said it's not supposed

445
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 3: to be accessible.

446
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 2: Do you let about take and said where are the

447
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,439
Speaker 2: black people? You stupid bitch.

448
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 3: Actually, that's exactly what the fashion industry does, and it's

449
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 3: perpetually why we continue to see African faces. We continue

450
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 3: to see people with DEI getting angry. It's why Target

451
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 3: has no fucking money and they're seeing you, stupid bitch.

452
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 3: It's why Solid Cored literally has a black female comedian SNL.

453
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 2: I'm losing her name right now, Ego. I think it's like,

454
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 2: are you dumb bitch?

455
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: Okay, Actually we.

456
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: Needed to see a black woman.

457
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 4: I get that Dade Lay was creat she has wait

458
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 4: BOWI Crystal. I do want to say the show is.

459
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 6: The read exactly if of the ones that was, I

460
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 6: want to say, you read, they read everybody. They don'et

461
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 6: came for my good girl Summer Walker. Every time she

462
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 6: done had a baby, it's headed the nigglary on.

463
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 1: Her face consistent.

464
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 4: It's the stirical for them to read people with that delivery.

465
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 2: I think it got to the talk.

466
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: Again.

467
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 4: She she has read Summer Walker, she has read they

468
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 4: read Chris Brown every goddamn other day, but they have read,

469
00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 4: they have read Charlie kirk Coole.

470
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: Does so I guess that's another thing.

471
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 3: But no, no, no, the read of the dating wasn't bad. Actually,

472
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 3: I think it was the child choice, like talking about

473
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: making the choice to have children, that being the read

474
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 3: from a woman, That's the part to me that was unfair.

475
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 3: Dragon cardiing for dating the fun nigga like that was funny.

476
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 4: So I honestly don't mind me don't want to say

477
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 4: her too long because we did talk about this in

478
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 4: another episode.

479
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: So anyway, the point is, oh, yeah, you're just gonna

480
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 1: say the harshness of that's that's my point. Yea. I

481
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 1: have less thoughts on if she's writing dah dah dah.

482
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: My main points is like, damn, I hate And this

483
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: is why I feel like I'm not as popular as

484
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: some other people because I just I do not give

485
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 1: too nice. That's been nice. That's like nicest phony, nicest

486
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: performative like nice is like oh hi, like not not nice.

487
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 2: When you can't get that. Yeah, but I just feel.

488
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: Like black women really need softness badly for each other.

489
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: And I think, like even just all the advice we

490
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: give to each other, all the feedback you know, well,

491
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have been there, you shouldn't have been there,

492
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: you should know better. When I listened to her her thoughts,

493
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, this sounds like my auntie. This is how

494
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: my aunties would talking.

495
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: About was really soft back.

496
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it hurts some of it.

497
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: I think it's.

498
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 3: Hurtful because I'm I'm assuming Cardi's heard of the read,

499
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 3: like the read is so iconic.

500
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 4: Right, Like, nah, she she called her Chrysler at all.

501
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 4: I don't think she's well, well maybe Cardian is petty,

502
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 4: pretty and patty bitch, That's what I am.

503
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think it hurts to hear another black

504
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 3: woman talking about how you show up as a mom.

505
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.

506
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: Actually the worst thing to me was like, and I

507
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: just want to people run with it. When I say

508
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: black women, I'm referring to Crystal talking just that is

509
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: the delivery. I'm not calling Cardi black because I don't

510
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: want to get in to that debatey like she's black.

511
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: She's not black. She knows. I don't even care.

512
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 3: An like, I'm tired of this ship already, you know,

513
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 3: but I'm not.

514
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna touch it.

515
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's not African American, she's not Africa, but she's

516
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 4: still black. Yeah, well that's the conversation. That's more about herburts.

517
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 4: We're not gonna get into that. Yeah, we have something

518
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 4: called truth and air.

519
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: Because you don't get to choose, you have to do both.

520
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 4: And so the truth, I'm gonna lean into something a

521
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 4: little bit more, you know, subtle with the dare be ready?

522
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 2: Okay, So for the truth she loved.

523
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 4: What would twenty year old you say about your love

524
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,479
Speaker 4: and sex life that is now, you know, completely different

525
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 4: than what thirties year old you would say? One more time, Well,

526
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 4: would twenty year old you say about how you're navigating dating, love, sex,

527
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 4: your sex life. I talked about mine in the book,

528
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 4: and then compared to now thirties sex love dating.

529
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 1: Life, she would think it it's so much better.

530
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 2: Okay, she would.

531
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: Think like, oh, this ain't nothing.

532
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: Twenties she would think she would know it gets better.

533
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, the twenties twenty year old me could see

534
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: me now, she'd be like, what a shit lick?

535
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: Okay, she would be happy with it. I love it. Okay.

536
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 4: Do you think in your twenties you you what would

537
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 4: is one thing in your twenties you were sadly mistaken

538
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 4: about and you you learned later.

539
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 2: Were you married in your twenties? Two?

540
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: No?

541
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: Hell no?

542
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Literally, And I feel like I'm still

543
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: doing this to this day in my twenties, I wish

544
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: I would have decentered the idea of marriage and children more,

545
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,400
Speaker 1: oh sooner, oh much. That's what you really want to say.

546
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: You want to you want it to be a whole.

547
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: But let me, let me have the option, because I

548
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 1: could be a whole, go out and be a monk.

549
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: I could go out and warrior. I don't fucking know,

550
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 1: like I could do whatever we could do.

551
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 2: I like all that.

552
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: I like some quirky stuff. You see, I'm getting to

553
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: all this. I've done a lot of horse whispering, like

554
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 1: I like weird stuff.

555
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 2: What is horse whispering? You don't whisper?

556
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: No, horses are telepaths. Think girl, like I told the

557
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: horse to sit down.

558
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna you your mind.

559
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: You have to win you do it one day, because

560
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: you will want you to text me. Okay. I told

561
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: the horse the lady was training us, and she said, okay,

562
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: now just look in his eyes and tell him to

563
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: sit down. And I did, and that horse sat down.

564
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 1: I was shook ands all types of things, like she's like,

565
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: horses can read you.

566
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 2: That that horse was death.

567
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 4: I felt that that horse was dead. Literally, that horse

568
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 4: was deaf. And they had when they had found different

569
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 4: ways to sign.

570
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: No, they are they are the octopus ship.

571
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 3: After we watched the teacher ship listen for six months,

572
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 3: what happened anyway?

573
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: That's not the baby octopus.

574
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: No, it's squid.

575
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 1: It's a baby.

576
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 3: I look like a little it looks like all authors.

577
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: It's actually kind of that's okay, we don't what's the bigga?

578
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 7: First time I ever had calamari, I was with a

579
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 7: bunch of white people and I didn't know what I

580
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 7: was eating. I thought it was when I tasted it,

581
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 7: I was like, why is the onion rings.

582
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: So tough?

583
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: You think it was your rings? I wouldn't culture then

584
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 2: I wasn't cure.

585
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: But anyway, I like, I liked. I'm just saying you

586
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: could also be a whole but you could do whatever.

587
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 1: You had a whole face, do all the things I'm saying.

588
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is exactly what we got to. It's

589
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: like in my twenties, I think I had such a

590
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: narrow idea of what was possible for my life. Oh

591
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: my gosh, I have to graduate, I have to get

592
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: married and have to have kids. Like, there are a

593
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: billion things you can do. You could grow up and

594
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 1: be a fucking astronaut. I don't know. You can save

595
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: dogs and have an ethical kennel like. You know what

596
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: I'm saying, get created?

597
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the most important out of kids man

598
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: chilled or college?

599
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,479
Speaker 2: Like, what was the thing that you were?

600
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 7: Like?

601
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 1: Out of anything? This is what I need. I just

602
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: wanted to be picked. Oh I told you no self

603
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: esteem d the time. I love an admitting pick me girl.

604
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: I was a what things would you say? Showed up

605
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: that you.

606
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 2: Knew I was being a pick me? That? Sorry?

607
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 3: Girl?

608
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: We getting deep here.

609
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 2: Come we will all give one too. Do you want

610
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: to do it in solidarity?

611
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: No, I don't mind. I'm not ashamed of it. It's okay.

612
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: So I was I mean, have we all dated at

613
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: some point? So I'm definitely I'm married to a real

614
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: rapper right now, and have we all in the past

615
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: had a little respiring.

616
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 2: I didn't know.

617
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 1: Oh that's okay. I love when people don't Yeah, I

618
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: love when people don't know because that means you know.

619
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 3: No, Okay, in my brain now the photos of the

620
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 3: family are connected.

621
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: Okay.

622
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 5: You see.

623
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 2: I didn't want to introduce you, was that because but

624
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: you your own woman?

625
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: Thank you lot.

626
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 2: We interviewed Soria. That's all I can think about.

627
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 4: Soria, Soria, Joey badasses partner see see.

628
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,719
Speaker 3: And I was but but you know what it is.

629
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: It's just the images on i G. So for me,

630
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 3: I don't lead the images on i G. I've seen

631
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 3: a Acehood's wife. I'm doing that in quotation for people listening.

632
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 3: But seeing your page or seeing your work.

633
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: Is something separate. Oh, I'll be honest. Can I be honest?

634
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: Actually, before we get in see your pic me mode.

635
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 4: When I first saw your page, I was actually mad

636
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 4: you had a nigga or I thought maybe y'all was

637
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 4: looking for a girlfriend because that girl that buddy, I

638
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 4: don't know, like I did want to fuck a long day,

639
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 4: but you are still buried, and I was.

640
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 2: I've been waiting for you to like to take it down.

641
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 8: Y'all.

642
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: Y'all go see Sheila's stage.

643
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 4: You do you do like you are the You are

644
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 4: the most innocent, thirst trapping ass bitch on the internet

645
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 4: that I've come across.

646
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 2: Your body is like, don't you don't have to.

647
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 9: Ask me?

648
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: She just be walking past the camera light. But you

649
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: know what you're doing. There is there. Maybe you just

650
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: can't it. Maybe it's that.

651
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 6: If it's there, you're like, damn, you have been approached about.

652
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: That a lot.

653
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: I'm sure.

654
00:29:59,160 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: I'm glad.

655
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 2: I want you're telling me I both got sexy hair.

656
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 5: Bro.

657
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm just like I love women so much. I'm always

658
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: around women. They're like, well do you love being around

659
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, all right, I was.

660
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: About to literally that was gonna be the dare I wanted.

661
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 4: You to to, like tell us what the text message

662
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 4: would be to him asking for sex tonight?

663
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 7: Me.

664
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: Yes, what I would say to him, like to.

665
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: Let him know you want him to dig in your guts?

666
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: Like what is what is a little joke?

667
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, we have a little joke. Like I don't

668
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: know where it started, but we started doing this thing

669
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: of like I don't know if it was one day

670
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you you look like you know,

671
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: you could be an athlete. I say, you look like

672
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: an athlete. You like a little sexy, little football player.

673
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, you look like you want a super Bowl.

674
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: You want a super Bowl. So you're a super Bowl champ.

675
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 1: So if I say, if I say, I'll text him,

676
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: I'll be like, bad, you want a super Bowl. He'll

677
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: be like hell yeah, He'll give me a fake score.

678
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, we've done it out. We up, we gotta

679
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 2: celebrates so cute.

680
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: That's that's that's what I was.

681
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 4: And that gets you to know, y'all that night, Oh yeah,

682
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 4: because you're celebrating the super Bowl.

683
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll just walk around because you know, his daughter

684
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 1: lived with us, so we can't say she is so

685
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: cute that somebody baby. That's my baby. Damn both of them,

686
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: so you know, we can't say stuff. You know, she's

687
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 1: very observing. So he'll just be like, hey, is super

688
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: all on the night. I'll be like, it is all

689
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 1: the night?

690
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 9: You wan.

691
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: I love this, But how does she she's fourteen?

692
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got one.

693
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 4: Now, Look, maybe you don't have to talk about All

694
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 4: Star weekend or something he was right.

695
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 2: He wanted to contest.

696
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: Okay, that'll be like, are you being weird? Dad stopped?

697
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 7: You might have to switch the sport weekend dunk contest.

698
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 2: Okay, back to the three in that point. Okay, let's

699
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: go back to three. Okay, that's what there we go.

700
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 2: This is what this was not. This is what I

701
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: want to know.

702
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 3: Okay, So let's talk about the first time that it happened,

703
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 3: did happen and the thoughts that came to mind when

704
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 3: someone approached you or you realized.

705
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 2: It was part of the energy.

706
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: Oh, she was not subtle about it at all. It's

707
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: actually I met I met her, I met her doing work.

708
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: Now I'm like, okay, so she famous too?

709
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: No oh no, no, there there are yes. We're just

710
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: gonna keep it at not. She not famous.

711
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 2: There was one.

712
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: But you know, like women who have approached me about

713
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: that are not shy about it at all, and like

714
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: because they have, they approached me with so much reverence

715
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: and respect, and so there is no like subtle. It's

716
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: very much like so, I'm a I'm a doula, I'm

717
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: a fertility doula, and I work with women. I also

718
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: liked to get in your wound. If that's the thing

719
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: you'd like, that's totally fine. If it's consent, it's consentual.

720
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: I can speak with your husband have a meeting.

721
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 4: I said, you want to get in, She said, we

722
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 4: want to get in your would yes?

723
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: Yes?

724
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 5: Man?

725
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: That didn't work No, because I have I really like women.

726
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of healing with sensuality and

727
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: sexuality with women in safety. But I know some things

728
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: to me should be kept. The fins. You guys look

729
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: like a like, look at this.

730
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: I don't know if we can.

731
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 3: We're gonna have to make a hate y'all look like

732
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 3: a couple. That's a hedonism. You are treat that heato listen.

733
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 3: I never tell you why I'm gonna bring If you

734
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: have the body, you.

735
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 2: Got the oils. He looked all glistening. He got lotoked.

736
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: He jacked too, and he looked like y'all be going

737
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 2: over ship Like okay, baby, are you I can sit?

738
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 2: Y'all look like y'all start with a massage.

739
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: Super Bowl now like super.

740
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 2: Look at the photo right now they about to get

741
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 2: on the boat. That little heat trip was asking, ahho

742
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 2: pluses suck?

743
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 5: Yeah?

744
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 2: You just okay? So I do want to ask you.

745
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 4: So during essence, we interview Candy burs don't know how

746
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 4: we got there. So we're talking about the book, and

747
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 4: I'm talking about the couple that I joined in Mexico

748
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 4: where I became a unicorn. And it's funny because Candy

749
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 4: openly talks about sex. We see she has bedroom Candy,

750
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:23,280
Speaker 4: all the things.

751
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 2: Bitch.

752
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,479
Speaker 4: Candy's mouth was to the floor and I said, girl,

753
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 4: don't be telling you I was with this couple in Mexico.

754
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 2: Ate like crazy to you and she was like no.

755
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 4: But in the moment, I'm thinking about what it would

756
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 4: be like to be the couple, to be approached by

757
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,720
Speaker 4: someone singular, and what that's like because I'm the couple,

758
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 4: like I wouldn't be the single person. So then I

759
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 4: want to ask you, is there a way that has

760
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 4: worked when a woman has shot their shot at you,

761
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 4: respecting that you're in a couple, but wanting to join

762
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 4: the two of you, And clearly what you just said

763
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 4: is a I would say.

764
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 2: A disrespectful way.

765
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hound you.

766
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 2: Can I get in your womb?

767
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 4: We wouldn't want a man to say that to us fast,

768
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 4: and so I think women women.

769
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: Blur the lines.

770
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: It was delivered in a respectful way because she said it,

771
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,840
Speaker 1: you know what, it was because she was probably attractive.

772
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 2: Whenever we think of wrong, we give him a pass.

773
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 4: But bro, if a man came up to you, it

774
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 4: was like, you know, I'm a doctor, I deliver babies

775
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 4: and I'd like to.

776
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: Get in your wound. We wouldn't.

777
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 4: We wouldn't like that approach from a man. It's so

778
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 4: like women have to I kind of think be a

779
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 4: little bit more slick with it. Like so for my couple,

780
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 4: I bought them both shots and said that they both

781
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 4: were attractive and just started talking to both of them.

782
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,240
Speaker 4: How would you want to be approached as someone who's

783
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 4: married for a third to join you? Because we get

784
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 4: that question a lot on this pot too. I don't

785
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 4: want to be approached period. Yeah, okay, I just feel

786
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 4: this is this is this is one.

787
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: My main reason why is because I have so much

788
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: love and respect for women. There's just a part of

789
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: me who I just like if i'm if I'm going

790
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: to engage in it, I don't want to be like

791
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: having feelings with you. I don't want to consider like

792
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: this is true, this is not like a very good thing.

793
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to consider do you want to consider you?

794
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: Like I don't want like this is about me, Like

795
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: you're not really a full person. You would just be

796
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: a prop to our like sexual adventures, and I'm not

797
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: okay with that. That's how I Yes, yes, I I can't.

798
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: And plus I'm just good, like I keep in it's a.

799
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 2: Lot of them do want to be that, Like not

800
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 2: everyone that when you spoke of.

801
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 1: Prop but feel good for me to do. I don't

802
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: have any no, no, no, I know what.

803
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: You're saying, because it's like it's actually difficult for me

804
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 3: when women want to save out with me and my man.

805
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: Sorry let me.

806
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 7: Players being replaced with another player like you.

807
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:55,359
Speaker 2: That's good.

808
00:36:56,360 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 3: So like, yeah, sometimes the serving is a little too

809
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 3: much when I know maybe I'll be done with it

810
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 3: after all. And although it's something that's like a total

811
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 3: kink for them, I don't really know what to do.

812
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 3: I can accept it for myself, but sometimes it's a

813
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 3: little too much for me. Like there was a really

814
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 3: sexy time Mandy talked about with a friend of hers

815
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: that was subbing for her and her man and listening

816
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 3: to it, I'm like, oh, this is hot. But then

817
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 3: in my brain. I'm like, I know, I can't do it.

818
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I made that girl sleep on the floor.

819
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 2: Yeap what and you was seven? I had a queen bed, bro.

820
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: It was hot, young floor.

821
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 1: See I couldn't do that.

822
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 2: I would feel so I could get on the floor.

823
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 4: She was fine, she's on the floor. So it was

824
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 4: like for how we had engaged that night, I.

825
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 2: Will tell you that the queen man at my la crib.

826
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 3: There's a queen bed and we had a threesome with

827
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 3: this girl. And uh, for y'all that are listening, it's

828
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 3: the thick girl. And I was like, damn, we really

829
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 3: can't fitness.

830
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 4: Oh I'm not gonna lie now that I have a

831
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 4: king bed. Someone by the way shout out to I

832
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 4: think it was dread on Patreon. He said, so all

833
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 4: those stories and three thoms in your house was on

834
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 4: a queen babit.

835
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 2: Like, I don't even know how we fit. Bro.

836
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 3: My ex was six seven and I'm a think bit,

837
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 3: so I don't want to king. But basically what happened.

838
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,240
Speaker 3: She was in the bed and while they were sleeping,

839
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:21,800
Speaker 3: I went on the couch.

840
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 2: Who wakes up. He's like, are you upset? And I

841
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 2: was like no, no, So I'm really tired. I had

842
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 2: to film text heals the next day.

843
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: Happing A three so be and you gotta get up

844
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,280
Speaker 1: to work in the It's crazy.

845
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: He's like, do you want to get back in the bed.

846
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, baby, no, but I feel like we're gonna

847
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: fight about this tomorrow. And I'm like, I don't.

848
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:40,760
Speaker 1: Want to couch.

849
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 2: God, I really buzzy bad, but I'm just like dog.

850
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 3: And then you know, you sleep, and then they want

851
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 3: to fuck again, and I'm like, yo, they're so horny

852
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: like my sexual appetite. I like one really great elaborate session,

853
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 3: maybe in and out da da da. I can't do

854
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 3: marathon no sleep.

855
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 1: Sex, No, I can't.

856
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 3: Can't do it, bitch. Imagine with two other people that

857
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: want to fuck like that and they just.

858
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 2: Be up ready to fuck.

859
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: Bro.

860
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 3: At one point, I thought we were just gonna play

861
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 3: UO again and she was like, nope, strip you know,

862
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I.

863
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:16,879
Speaker 2: Just be like, y'all gonna have fun. I'm done when

864
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: I'm done.

865
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: I'm done some more than just like two partners. But

866
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't you don't know, yeah, okay, it just becomes

867
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: a lot. And I don't feel like because a man

868
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: has to please both of us.

869
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 4: I feel like I be left not fully unless he's

870
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 4: somebody that could go along, like one of my boyfriends

871
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 4: right now, bitch, he'll make me squirt while you fucking

872
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 4: another bitch is sit on the face. He is like,

873
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 4: he's not he's not normal. She's an alien and I

874
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 4: love it. I've been one of an alien and I

875
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 4: got one. One of my niggas is an alien and

876
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 4: I'm here for it.

877
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 2: But see that the care of great sex to me.

878
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 3: And I don't know if everyone has like a type

879
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 3: of sex they enjoy, like I feel like sometimes super

880
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 3: kinky is like one of my favorites or vacation texts

881
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:04,240
Speaker 3: or whatever, vacation but that's at home, super in love.

882
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 3: And that's why I actually like more than the pick me.

883
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 3: Have you ready to get over the casual sex? Because

884
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 3: I need it deeper than that. Bro like the casual sex,

885
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 3: hu is too?

886
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 2: Oh yeah for sure, definitely, Yeah, go ahead and pick me.

887
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's like me back to being a pigmy.

888
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: What I was going to say is, I feel like

889
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,879
Speaker 1: we all might have had a situation where you're dating

890
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 1: an aspiring rapper, so.

891
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 2: We didn't get to marry up.

892
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. Right. This is another another situation when I was

893
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: in college and like, just how I knew I was

894
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: a pick me was like he would be in the

895
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: air quotes studio all the time, working hard, and I

896
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: would be like, Oh, make you dinner, you know, like

897
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,919
Speaker 1: using my somebody. You know, we was all treating food

898
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: stamps and stuff like that. I would go and spend

899
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: my money, go get the food, bring it and he's like, oh,

900
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be home till four am. Oh

901
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: I'll pack it for you, and like all stuff like that,

902
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: Like girl, I'm supposed to be focusing on my grades

903
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: right now. And like I just felt like.

904
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: Wait, is that pick me?

905
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 4: I mean putting men and time and things into a

906
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 4: person before yourself.

907
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: I think that he wouldn't do the same for me,

908
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't no. And then I was also picked

909
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 1: me because I was in denial about this one guy

910
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 1: and he definitely had a girlfriend at another school and

911
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: I was just eating big denial about it and trying

912
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 1: to win him over. I felt like I knew I

913
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: was a pick me because I was too focused on

914
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,359
Speaker 1: getting picked It wasn't like is this person good for me?

915
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: How do they treat me? What am I getting out

916
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: of this situation? It was like, how can I prove

917
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 1: to this man that I'm worthy of being a chosen.

918
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's there's something I bring up on

919
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 3: decision decisions and horrible a lot because it's so vivid

920
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,839
Speaker 3: in my mind. It's a conversation and if you've never

921
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 3: heard it, great, Sorry if I'm telling it again.

922
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: But it just always goes back to this.

923
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 3: My man said to me on a few dates and

924
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 3: when we met, He's like, I date women that are

925
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 3: so obsessed with me. They love how I look. They

926
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 3: love that I'm independent, They like my test, they like

927
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 3: my look. They like that I'm a nigga that ain't

928
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 3: skimming or hole tempting or this or that that I'm

929
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 3: doing well, but I look like this. They have this

930
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 3: idea in their mind for the man they want. He's like,

931
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, they're just falling

932
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 3: in love with this idea of me.

933
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 2: They just want me to want them so bad. They

934
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 2: don't even know me.

935
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 3: He's like, I'll be saying shit, these bitches don't even

936
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 3: like and they just be like, whatever, right, I could

937
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 3: be anti feminist. I don't care, and they just want

938
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: me so badly. And I really believe this comes from

939
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: few things. One your first find nigga, two, your first

940
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 3: nigga with money, and three now I fall victim to this,

941
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 3: your first really good dick.

942
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: All of you O. My first grade dick was a

943
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:56,280
Speaker 2: poor dick.

944
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 3: That dick was deaffy. It had roommates, Dick had ship

945
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:02,240
Speaker 3: on the floor.

946
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 2: The TV wasn't.

947
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 3: A TV, it was a laptop, and I was sitting

948
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 3: right there like, well, I loved the office so much.

949
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: I've seen that episode so many times. I don't care.

950
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 2: A good dick is a prison.

951
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: It can be, it can it can be, it can be,

952
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: it can be to me, it depends.

953
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: I'm God chosen.

954
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 4: I don't have a fine nigga, rich nigga and good

955
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 4: dick my whole life, and damn it, good dick.

956
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, take my credit, let's put a card,

957
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 3: let's get you out of here. So maybe I haven't

958
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 3: had that.

959
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 4: Maybe Stefan Jesus, well, I want to go back to.

960
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 4: This is kind of reactionary, but the full crutch of

961
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,720
Speaker 4: the episode. In terms of pick Mes, we talked about

962
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 4: security and self worth early on I want to play

963
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 4: a clip for us to talk about and I would

964
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 4: love for the men to really tune in here a king,

965
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 4: we might need your your input is the only pin

966
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 4: on the mic. But I'm gonna play this clip of

967
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 4: someone responding to a recent.

968
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 2: One of the.

969
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 4: Recent interviews because she's done it the last couple of years.

970
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 4: But recently, Aysha Curry sat on a podcast and talked

971
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 4: about how Steph Curry wasn't even her type when they

972
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 4: first met, et cetera, et cetera.

973
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: But this is what I didn't hear all that.

974
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:38,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

975
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 4: She's also said in the past that she wishes people

976
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 4: would look at her and desire her to do Yes.

977
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 4: There's also been the recent conversation around Michelle Obama, who

978
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 4: said the same thing about our president because he's always

979
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 4: gonna be President Obama around hard not you know, even

980
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 4: them liking each other for a portion ten years of

981
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 4: their relationship. But I want to play this clip because

982
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 4: this is what a man had to say about it.

983
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 9: I don't know if anybody else noticed this, but Ayisha

984
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 9: Curry is putting in maximum effort to let the world

985
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 9: know that she is struggling with trying not to cheat

986
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 9: on her husband, and because she can just smell an

987
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 9: opportunity to embarrass this man, because she gets on every

988
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 9: interview telling everybody about just.

989
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 8: How frustrated she is with his success, how frustrated she

990
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 8: is that women desire him, how much she wished it

991
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 8: was her being lusted after by people who don't give

992
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:46,479
Speaker 8: about her, how desperately she wants to get attention from

993
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 8: other men, how lockdown she feels with the kids. Every

994
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:57,800
Speaker 8: interview she goes on, she unwarrantedly forces us to listen

995
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 8: to her vent about her not wanting to.

996
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 2: Be with her husband.

997
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 5: She wants to go be glow rilla or something like

998
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 5: we get it, bro, just go drop an album, or

999
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 5: something like stop embarrassing this man, bro, Actually.

1000
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 4: Continue to drop your pocket pants now. I brought this

1001
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 4: up because I wanted to have the conversation around as

1002
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 4: a wife, as a woman in relationship, as someone who's

1003
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 4: maybe even in a long standing relationship, right, what does

1004
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 4: it look like to have whatever urge or desire a

1005
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 4: to vocalize the fact that you don't feel either desired

1006
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 4: by your partner and miss getting attention because sometimes you

1007
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 4: feel like you want to see if you still got

1008
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 4: it right and where does the line get drawn in

1009
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 4: you expressing that and it being disrespectful to your partner

1010
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 4: and you shitting on your partner publicly for expressing kind

1011
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 4: of what you how you want to feel, and also

1012
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 4: respond to the clip too.

1013
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: First of all, bring back war, okay, let them go

1014
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: fight and do something and battle like you need a

1015
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: purpose for your life because I just feel like, why

1016
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 1: are you all in women's business? Why are you all

1017
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 1: commenting on this man wife girl?

1018
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,240
Speaker 2: That's the sound the music?

1019
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 8: Something?

1020
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 1: Really like Steph Curry jumped in the chat and was like,

1021
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good. I don't have no issue, right,

1022
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: I ain't got no issue with that? So why are

1023
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 1: you more mad than him? It gives you jealous to her?

1024
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: You want to be next to him. I don't know.

1025
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: I just to me, I feel like, what's really going on?

1026
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: People be lying so much? So people lie all the time.

1027
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: You don't care, Okay, you don't care about the sanctity

1028
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: of marriage? What you don't care? You care so much

1029
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 1: about Steph like your friends like, you don't care. You

1030
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: just want an opportunity to shame women people who have

1031
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 1: internalized misogyny, no matter your gender. Love shaming women. It

1032
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if she's dressed, if she's not dressed, if

1033
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: she's married, if she's not married, if she has kids,

1034
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: if she doesn't have kids, if she's sexual, if she's not.

1035
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 1: It doesn't fucking matter. The whole It's like, you can

1036
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: find whatever tool you want. The whole game is how

1037
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: do I shame women's choices? And there's a certain brand

1038
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: of men who get a certain satisfaction out of bringing

1039
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 1: down the partners of their favorites.

1040
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's not gonna lie to you.

1041
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 3: This isn't exactly relative, but it's semi on par with

1042
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 3: the Crystal thing, because that was why people were angry,

1043
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 3: just like this dude is doing that. Shaming a woman's

1044
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 3: choice kind of fucks you up. If someone is good

1045
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 3: with their choice, there's only so much we can fight for.

1046
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: Them, right, Like, good point, you know what I'm saying.

1047
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, CARTI clearly looks happy, glowing, rich,

1048
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 3: whatever she does. Now, the thing that we saw with

1049
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 3: Offset is probably why we're all irritated with Stephan But

1050
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 3: Offset was her husband. Offset in her clearly from what

1051
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 3: she told us, had their arrangement on what he was

1052
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 3: allowed to do. We have no idea about Stefan. All

1053
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 3: we know is this girls cute, rich, fucking another nigga

1054
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 3: and pregnant. And the problem with like the shaming of

1055
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: the choices is we pick and choose when it's okay.

1056
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 3: So we either got to let them have it all

1057
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 3: the way or don't. This in particular is worse because

1058
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 3: it's coming from a dude. I think crystals maybe is

1059
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 3: a place of like, I want you to do better,

1060
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 3: whereas this nigga is just finding any opportunity to ship.

1061
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 2: Well, then let me.

1062
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 4: Ask for the overarching thing. Then, as a woman who's

1063
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 4: in a relationship, is it? Are you allowed to and

1064
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 4: I want to say aloud in airport? So you think

1065
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 4: it's healthy that women are on mics and on platforms.

1066
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:32,280
Speaker 2: Sharing how they feel essentially yeah, about their gut their relationships.

1067
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 4: Gee, what a concept we said this before?

1068
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 7: Or selective ignorance. These are undiagnosed people. Oh yeah, they're

1069
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 7: in ecosystem.

1070
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 4: We just say everyone everyone's undiagnosed, like in something in

1071
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:53,800
Speaker 4: terms of just a little something, a little tism somewhere,

1072
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 4: but in terms of you're right in terms of this

1073
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 4: it is for what I see on the internet, the

1074
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 4: men upset about what Michelle Obauma had to say. Hawaisha

1075
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 4: Curry expresses these things and it's probably.

1076
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: Almost mad that the man isn't mad about it. Exeth,

1077
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 1: why aren't you mad?

1078
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:09,399
Speaker 2: You should be mad?

1079
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 1: And he's like, I'm actually fine with her expressing herself.

1080
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: It's okay, And that happens to me.

1081
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 2: You're right, because.

1082
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 1: You know, I have a lot of opinions, and I

1083
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 1: express my opinions and they'll be like, oh, what does

1084
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,240
Speaker 1: Ace think about this? Because I speak all the time.

1085
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 1: Were you guys just or was the other episode I

1086
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: was listening to when you guys were talking about how

1087
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 1: like women who hate men like how the best relationships

1088
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: just pat I do because I like one of y'all.

1089
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:36,439
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

1090
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 3: One day i'mould get married and be like real last

1091
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 3: bitch give except you.

1092
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 2: So let me ask you.

1093
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 4: Is there anything that is taking place in your relationship

1094
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 4: that you over shared in public that did, like, didn't

1095
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 4: make your partner feel good because he didn't want that

1096
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 4: narrative out at all.

1097
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,919
Speaker 1: Not exactly. I think the closest thing to that would

1098
00:50:57,920 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: be when we were on Love and Hip Hop and

1099
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 1: I I was sharing like I had. I was just

1100
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 1: I was naive. I can be very naive. So I

1101
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm just gonna talk about mental health.

1102
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 2: I'm gonna talk about Is that why people know you?

1103
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: No, not my audience loving hip.

1104
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 2: Hop, like when people are coming up to you, is it?

1105
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 2: Is it?

1106
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 9: Not?

1107
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 8: Really?

1108
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,720
Speaker 1: Because I only did one season. There are some people

1109
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: who know me from there, but most people know me

1110
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: from it, from your arm.

1111
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 2: From my own brands.

1112
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: Sorry continuing and yes, so I was talking about mental health.

1113
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: So it just the way it was edited, it looked

1114
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 1: like I was just complaining NonStop about my marriage and

1115
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: he didn't have Again, it's the same sence. He didn't

1116
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: really have a huge issue with it, but everybody else did.

1117
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 1: And like you know, during that time, people was like

1118
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: you should divorce her. It was rough. I was like,

1119
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: oh my god, I did not mean this, And so

1120
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: that was like the closest time. But one of my

1121
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,280
Speaker 1: favorite things about Ace is he minds his own business

1122
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: and drinks water and drinks his water and he knows

1123
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 1: who he mayor read as you said, I first trip,

1124
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 1: I've been doing that since I started Instagram. I've been

1125
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 1: kiny pictures from twenty sixteen, like, this is how you

1126
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 1: met me, is how you engaged to me, this is

1127
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: how you married. Like, I'm this is the same person.

1128
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: And while we're here, nobody ever asked Ace you have

1129
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 1: your abs out the line?

1130
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 2: Does Sheila know about them?

1131
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: Out?

1132
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 9: Hey?

1133
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:25,760
Speaker 2: Baby shirtless? Last second?

1134
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: Ho you daddy's on?

1135
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 3: Hold on? And you know what, respectfully, we wanted to

1136
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: keep it off you now that.

1137
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,919
Speaker 2: I think about it, No, you're right. I don't think

1138
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: we get asked. No, how our man, I'll tell you.

1139
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 2: I do got some homegirls that be acting a little

1140
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 2: crazy and I'd be like, damn about what? But I

1141
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 2: feel it though.

1142
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 3: They'd be like, oh, he's posting this, or he's like

1143
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,879
Speaker 3: in the water. Like one of my homegirls her man

1144
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 3: just went on a trip somewhere in Europe and she's

1145
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 3: like he knows what he's doing.

1146
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, but bitch, we too, weren't he

1147
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 2: be's the last year.

1148
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 1: I don't even know.

1149
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1150
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: Agreement in our relationship. Yeah, like we know, That's what

1151
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So to me, I think people be lying online.

1152
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: I think online there's like online internet conversations and then

1153
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 1: there's real life. They will always intersect. I just think

1154
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 1: these conversations are online because people in real life, you

1155
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: go out to a restaurant, You're gonna see the wife

1156
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: looking fine at dinner. Who she dressing up for. It

1157
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 1: doesn't matter like currency, attention is currency. We are visual creatures.

1158
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 1: It's a vain ass society belving. People want to look nice.

1159
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: You want to be looked at. I like sometimes posting

1160
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 1: my third straps. So does he? I don't care, he

1161
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 1: doesn't care.

1162
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:39,720
Speaker 3: Is it that I'm curious when it comes to knowing

1163
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 3: that you feel sexy by posting the bikini pick you me?

1164
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:45,240
Speaker 2: Is it bad?

1165
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: No? I mean bad is subjective?

1166
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:50,720
Speaker 3: Like are we really doing something so terrible by getting

1167
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 3: a bit of an ego boo?

1168
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. And we all do it. We

1169
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: all do it in different ways.

1170
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 2: That's what we like.

1171
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 4: Bitch, I'm supposed to wear a turtleneck on the beach

1172
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 4: of Benna, be in a baty.

1173
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 2: Suit, and you know, so I don't. I don't do like.

1174
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 4: I don't post like the lingerie panty pictures in the

1175
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 4: mirror on online because them and I don't even like

1176
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 4: taking them with dem sent to my niggas and they

1177
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 4: be real picky about getting pictures that ain't on.

1178
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 2: Lie do you say something, do you send the same ones?

1179
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,439
Speaker 2: I said, everyone the same ones.

1180
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 4: I actually go in the chat and from that picture

1181
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 4: that I sent to that one nigga, because sometimes I

1182
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 4: have a you know, there's different ones, and I want

1183
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 4: to make sure I'm sending the best one all of it.

1184
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 4: I go straight from that picture in the group in

1185
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 4: the message, I go to the raw.

1186
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 2: No, I go to the era.

1187
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 4: Message, to the next nigga message, to the next nigga message.

1188
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 4: To mistake, they all get.

1189
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 2: The same picture. They're not doing that, and it was

1190
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 2: really bad. How do you get caught sending everyone the

1191
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 2: same picture because I wrote it with a message you

1192
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 2: said you want?

1193
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no, there's

1194
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 4: oh no no no. These niggas get First off, I

1195
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 4: know what I'm gonna be even less nack. Right, we

1196
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 4: glammed up, and I let all my niggas no, I'm

1197
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 4: gonna be glamed up.

1198
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sell you pictures. They all couldn't wait, so

1199
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 2: they all got to I couldn't wait. I spent them

1200
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 2: all the little picture and I got all the hearts

1201
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 2: at the same time. Brother, let me tell you, I'm

1202
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,400
Speaker 2: so disgusting that my nudes.

1203
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you all what I'll be doing this

1204
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 3: to me is just like very extra, but I be

1205
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,840
Speaker 3: thinking it's cute and free. So I literally like, and

1206
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 3: it's vulgar news. I'll take my leg, I'll hold it up.

1207
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 2: Show you what I learned the plates and be like,

1208
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 2: do you like my new plant? And it'll be right

1209
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 2: behind me. I don't give a fuck.

1210
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: And then you know, because I feel like the nails

1211
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 3: is overdone, So then I try to pick other things.

1212
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 2: What do you think about these new jack or as colors? Bootyhole?

1213
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 1: Like like that I learned something new.

1214
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,440
Speaker 2: Every day one a time. My nigga was like, I

1215
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 2: don't know, I kind of liked the one before, but

1216
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,760
Speaker 2: that's why they don't really get news.

1217
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 4: My new thing is when I'm getting dressed, I have

1218
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 4: my titty in between all my fingers and that's why

1219
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 4: they get here. You go, you're getting a little nipple today.

1220
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 4: That's it, real girl. If I show you the news,

1221
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 4: I saying it's not really new, not a laziness.

1222
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 1: You know.

1223
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 2: I don't send all that. I send lazy nudes. And

1224
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 2: then I send porn. If you want to see a

1225
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 2: bitch busting it wide open. Here's some poort. Here you go,

1226
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 2: here's some port for you, here's some point for you.

1227
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 4: Okay, But before we get out of here, I want

1228
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 4: to dive deep a little bit, because your book, Unruly

1229
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 4: is a guy for black women to uncover your truest

1230
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 4: story and step into your personal power through radical self love,

1231
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 4: self acceptance, enjoy g not what I was saying in

1232
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:37,680
Speaker 4: the top of the episode. And so how do you

1233
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 4: how is the guy broken down into this? We've talked

1234
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 4: about No Holds Barred being more of a memoir and

1235
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 4: holding up the marrior to ourselves and guiding people along

1236
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 4: the way through sexuality, heartbreak, relationship, those things, but what

1237
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 4: things in terms of radical self love, self acceptance?

1238
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 2: What steps do you give in Unruly?

1239
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: So the book is inspired for my treats. So my

1240
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 1: treats are the Unrulery Retreat, which the first one we

1241
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: ever did was that heat and I didn't know it.

1242
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 2: Oh wait, you didn't know what he didn't doesn't want No,

1243
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: I was again remember that you didn't look at it this.

1244
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:14,959
Speaker 3: Story.

1245
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 1: Actually, I well the site though, if you look up

1246
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: so I just went on the way. If you go

1247
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: and hear those websites, they don't explicitly for a week

1248
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: it says it doesn't say a swinging. I thought it

1249
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: was clothing optional, and I was like.

1250
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, that's what you knew, is okay, you know,

1251
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 2: clothing optional.

1252
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 1: I was like, this would be so freeing for us,

1253
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 1: like we could go there and find acceptance of her bodies.

1254
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 2: La la la.

1255
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: It was, it was. It was great. They also got

1256
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 1: into some of the stuff. But hey, I get treated

1257
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: like the mom, so I don't get to know anything.

1258
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: So but I just heard people had a great time.

1259
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: But I didn't know it was. I didn't know the

1260
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: swinging elements. I thought it was just clothing optional. So

1261
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 1: but anyway, it was great. We honestly, that was one

1262
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: of my favorite treats I've ever done, actually because my dad.

1263
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone was liberated after that.

1264
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: Literally, because like we were so sad the last day

1265
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: to have to put clothes back on. We were like,

1266
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's hilarious because it's so it's so freeing,

1267
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 1: like you don't have to worry about what do you

1268
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 1: have on? And this person and they were all like,

1269
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is that your c section?

1270
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 8: Scar?

1271
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 1: I love that you have your clip heres. Wow, that's

1272
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: so cool you have your like it was just so

1273
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 1: for the world. I free. So anyway, Yes, I've been

1274
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: doing myat my retreats for black women since twenty eighteen,

1275
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 1: and that's actually where a lot of people remember me from.

1276
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 1: For Love and Hip Hop Is. There was one scene

1277
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: where I was talking about my retreats and I was

1278
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 1: just saying, they're safe space for black women. I'm sorry,

1279
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 1: if you don't identify as black, you cannot attend this.

1280
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 1: There are so many spaces for everyone else, everyone else,

1281
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 1: and this is a space for black women.

1282
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 2: And the story Sorry, could Cardi be come?

1283
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 1: No? Well, you know what if I asked her, do

1284
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 1: you identify as a black woman and she said, yes,

1285
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: that's all. That's okay, that's her identity. I'm not gonna

1286
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 1: go back and forth about it.

1287
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 2: Got you.

1288
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 1: I've never had an issue with it. So I understands

1289
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 1: you you identify as black, do you feel like you

1290
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: share the lived experience of a black woman.

1291
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 2: Then all right, please come and join us.

1292
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, because arguing about race is just a big distretch.

1293
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 2: I love that when is your next retreat.

1294
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 1: We're going to Ghana. So I'm doing Ghana for Detty December.

1295
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 9: I love that.

1296
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: No, I'm doing Ghana in April.

1297
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,479
Speaker 1: I cannot wait. Have you been there before?

1298
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 4: I've been to Ghana. I love Ghana first time and

1299
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 4: the food. Ghana is my favorite part. So I've been

1300
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 4: to Ghana, Nigeria, and South Africa. South Africa is beautiful,

1301
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 4: but too many whites.

1302
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 9: For me.

1303
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 2: Wasn't giving motherland. But Ghana, Oh my god. And everyone's

1304
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 2: so they're so nice there. Oh my god. I had

1305
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 2: a great time. Just be ready to not sure how

1306
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 2: your knees work, or your hips.

1307
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 1: Or anything till I told them. I said, I'm not

1308
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: doing this.

1309
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:59,919
Speaker 2: The sun is up and they're still going. I don't

1310
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 2: tell you.

1311
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 3: There's a good techno party, a good like deep House.

1312
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 3: I remember saying to one of my homeboys and Johannesburg, like,

1313
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 3: isn't it crazy in New York we have to do

1314
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 3: drugs to be at the Tannam party.

1315
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 1: That's what it's Africa.

1316
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:15,959
Speaker 2: They don't.

1317
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 4: You can wake up at six, like, have your coffee

1318
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 4: and go to the club and they're still partying from

1319
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 4: the night before.

1320
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 3: Because it's like like it's culturally just they party. I

1321
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,280
Speaker 3: wasn't ready, bro, Yeah, I don't know.

1322
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 4: I went to like four places in one night, and

1323
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 4: normally I do that, but within like a four hour

1324
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 4: time frame. No, girl, it was like a shift, a

1325
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 4: work shift, a twelve hour one, like I was a nurse.

1326
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 1: You liked it the whole time.

1327
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then I got tired, and then it's like

1328
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 4: you're you're you're trying to get another wind.

1329
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 2: Because no one else wants to go.

1330
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 3: I don't know if you'll see the daylight at some

1331
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 3: point like that, Bro, it's just sleep all days.

1332
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 2: You're ready to go out again, and then you eat.

1333
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:54,919
Speaker 2: It's the best food.

1334
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 1: It's ready. I'm ready to party. I'm ready. I'm definitely

1335
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 1: ready for a little.

1336
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 2: So that on your retreat that they can come and join.

1337
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 1: Well, yes, you can still join, Graghana. We're leaving in December,

1338
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: so it's kind of coming up pretty soon.

1339
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 2: But our bitch has got money. The fuck you saying

1340
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:08,600
Speaker 2: what's the next one?

1341
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 7: Oh?

1342
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: I love what says cancel the money scarcity period?

1343
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 2: Yes?

1344
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 1: So, and then in twenty twenty six, in March, I'm

1345
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: going to Thailand, which I do have spots open for it.

1346
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 2: Even I did.

1347
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 1: Didn't I say that too?

1348
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 2: I love We talked about Thiland.

1349
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 4: You just you just came back from Thailand. I did

1350
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 4: the last time I wanted to have her on the pot.

1351
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 4: She was like, oh girl, I'm going to Thailand. I said,

1352
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 4: excuse me, all right, never mind, next time we eat

1353
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 4: some place, I feel like repeat, repeat, Yeah, I've been

1354
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 4: there five times.

1355
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. We're going back with

1356
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 1: their group. We have five spots left, so go ahead.

1357
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 2: What's what's the website? Dropped the website? Dropped the pot at.

1358
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: The Best grad name and find me is on Instagram

1359
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: at the Shila Marie and everything is linked there. If

1360
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 1: you're interested in coming to Thailand, if you want to

1361
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 1: order my book, if you want to just follow up

1362
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 1: with what I'm doing. I'm chaotic, who knows? And yeah,

1363
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 1: you can find me there.

1364
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 2: And don't slide in her DMS asking for a threesome, y'all.

1365
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 2: She said no, she said, don't do it. Actually, don't

1366
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 2: do it.

1367
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 1: No, I'm good.

1368
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm good. Thanks.

1369
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 4: By the way, if you haven't yet, make sure you

1370
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:09,960
Speaker 4: purchased our book No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of

1371
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:13,440
Speaker 4: sexual exploration and power. It is available wherever you get

1372
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 4: books and what we like to do. If you've already

1373
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 4: read it, we have gotten I've gotten so many DMS stories.

1374
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 4: If you like the book, it would do serve us

1375
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 4: justice if you go on over to Amazon and leave

1376
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:28,320
Speaker 4: a five star review, please and thank you. Also, we

1377
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 4: got a little horrible here with a little bit of

1378
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 4: the sex talk. If you want more runch, more sex,

1379
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 4: we didn't go anywhere. Horrible Decisions still exists just five

1380
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 4: doll as a money the bare minimum over on Patreon,

1381
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 4: So go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions where

1382
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 4: you could still get all of the sex talk, and

1383
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 4: of course join us. Everyone say you got decisions right here.

1384
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 2: This has been another episode of Decisions Decisions. THI yall

1385
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 2: sye

1386
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: Is the tdu the inblic in the